Those of us suffering under the yoke of Windows 8.1 will be happy to learn that the “Spring Update” has dropped. It’s the one that does all the desktop stuff more-or-less right, except it does not put back the Start menu. That’s coming later. Here are more details.
If you’re interested in the Heartbleed OpenSSL bug, here’s an explainer. The tl;dr is that there’s nothing you can do other than change your password after a site has announced that it has been patched.
I thought this song was good theme music for computer upgrades and security alerts.
Update: For those of you who can’t get enough conversation about cars, here is a Reddit thread titled “PT Cruiser owners, what tragedy burdened you with your car?“. The most common answer is the death of a grandparent. PT Crusiers are apparently to granparents what Subarus are to lesbians.
MattF
So, I’ve got this list of about a dozen sites– financial, commercial, whatever– that have information about me that I wouldn’t want stolen. Is there any kind of clearing-house for info on who’s safe and who isn’t?
ETA: Also, (grrrr) what about all the certificates in my keychain? Are they all now suspect?
c u n d gulag
mistermix,
Surely you didn’t “evolve!”
You might have changed, but we uber-hyper-Christians don’t believe in “Evolution!!!!!!!”*
*SNARK* lest anyone think otherwise.
Mustang Bobby
I and just about everyone else in the Miami-Dade County school system is still on Windows XP. It will be interesting to see what happens when the fourth-largest school district in the country has to upgrade to whatever fresh hell MSFT comes up with.
dmsilev
@Mustang Bobby: As of yesterday, XP is no longer receiving security patches. For the sakes of you, your coworkers, the students in your system, etc., I hope your IT folks are working to upgrade to W7 or whatever and doing so soon.
mtiffany
Windows 8! Because desktops and laptops are exactly like tablets!
Mustang Bobby
@dmsilev: Yeah, we knew about the ditching of XP and we’ve been told that there’s something in the works, but in some cases, the computer is so old that it won’t support an upgrade to W7. In fact, mine is a vintage 2006 HP and my IT pal says it’s can’t be upgraded.
dmsilev
@Mustang Bobby: Ouch. My condolences.
dopey-o
i read the technet article about the new improvements to Windows 8.1.a. even the cute “but wait, there’s more!” nod to the other operating system. still do not want.
Once again, Microsoft has proved itself perfectly willing and able to be rong-rong-rong again. will no one rid me of this troublesome software?
Belafon
If you need the start button, which I do since my Windows 8 machine does not have a touch screen, use Classic Shell. It’s free, and I have yet to have any problems with it.
Belafon
@dopey-o: No. Apple won’t sell it’s OS for other hardware, and Linux, while pretty darn good, still has the feel of “I’ve solved my problem, I’m not really interested in solving yours.” And I say that as a software developer who runs Linux at home. And when you do get a company behind it, you end up with Ubuntu’s desktop.
cmorenc
I absolutely WILL NOT buy or upgrade to Windows 8.whatever. Although “under the hood” it contains many worthwile improvements in efficiency, the user interface is a complete disaster whose design was entirely motivated by MS’s flailing failure at competing with Apple, Android, etc. in the tablet/smartphone market, and NOT because its Win7 notebook/desktop users were dissatisfied with the Win7 UI. MS radically changed the default UI in Win8 to a tablet-style interface optimized for touchscreen users in order to try to habituate as many of its established Windows user desktop/notebook base as possible to Windows for all devices before they left the MS building, so to speak – the omission of the “start” button was initially a quite deliberate move to wean them over to MS’s touchscreen-style mobile interface, and not because it was a true functional improvement (except hopefully for MS’s future bottom line).
Next PC I buy, I will be returning after 15 years absence to the Apple fold, unless I can hold out for Win 9 and it offers users a bona fide seamless way to escape from the sheer stupidity and dysfunction of Win 8.x.
Betty Cracker
Can anyone recommend an iPhone / iPad app that functions as a universal remote?
Elizabelle
I loved that PT Cruiser reddit thread.
Lots of laughs with coffee this morning. Thanks.
Fred
I know a lesbian couple who drive matching PT Cruisers and I (a confirmed straight guy ) used to own a Subaru. The Subaru was a good car. Don’t know about the PT Cruisers but they do look like they are trying a bit too hard to be cool. Kinda like a twelve year old in a bad ass leather jacket.
cmorenc
@Betty Cracker:
Count me as an antediluvian cave-man who finds “universal” remotes more trouble than the three or so individual remotes it replaces, UNLESS the remote being used as the “universal” one is primarily used and optimized for one particular device, and it’s only needed for a very limited set of functions on other devices (such as switching the “input” on a television from HDMI-1 to HDMI-2 to switch between a television input signal to a blu-ray device). Otherwise, when too many functions on the remote are modal, i.e. depend on which device you’ve got the “universal” momentarily set to control, it’s too easy to inadvertently get lost and wind up changing a whole bunch of things you didn’t realize you were changing the settings on, while you’re flailing about trying to accomplish the thing you had in mind.
mtiffany
@Betty Cracker: If you’re looking for something that will allow you to replace your existing remotes with your phone or tablet, you’ll need to buy extra hardware — the remotes send their signal with infrared light, and phones/tablets don’t have IR emitter LEDs.
http://www.crutchfield.com/p_596SMRTCTL/Logitech-Harmony-Smart-Control.html?tp=979&awkw=56415452305&awat=pla&awnw=g&awcr=27580623145&awdv=c
mellowjohn
i’ve got a 14 year old dell on my desk at a chicago public school, and yes – it “runs” XP… when it runs at all.
(i’m typing this on my macbook pro which i schlepp to school every day.)
Betty Cracker
@cmorenc: I’ve found that to be the case with the so-called universal remotes you can purchase at Radio Shack, which is why I have three remotes (TV, set top box and Roku). But I was hoping that maybe technology would come to our rescue! Surely someone could build a platform that could support multiple device types and deliver seamless remote functionality!
Betty Cracker
@mtiffany: So that’s the snag. My Roku allows me to use an app as a remote, but I guess the Roku box serves as middleman for the IR. Damn. Thanks!
cmorenc
@Fred:
PT Cruisers body design tries to mimic in reduced-scale the classic body style of sedans from e.g. Plymouths from the latter 1940s. Back when I was in high school in the mid to late 1960s, there were still enough of these cars around that several fellow students drove these to school. They were really cool-looking.
CASLondon
@cmorenc:
As someone who’s been rocking Macs since the mid-nineties, I have to warn you that while I’m still on board, the OS releases are getting ropier by the the release. Mavericks (10.9) is a bit of a mess. Snow Leopard (10.6) was rock solid, but the iOS era, death of Steve? and massive profits in devices is making Apple take its eye off the ball I feel.
Also, the increased planned obsolescence in Apple hardware has caused me to buy a 2009 Mac Pro, the Toyota Land Cruiser of hardware, and look for new processors to stick in it, as well as a more up-to-date video card. This machine, when I’m done, will out geekbench the nearly $10k maxed out new trashcan mac pro for well under one quarter of that expense, and serve as a 4k video workstation
jayackroyd
@MattF:
Inside the FAQ is this site:
http://filippo.io/Heartbleed/#balloonjuice.com
mtiffany
@Betty Cracker: Actually upon further research, it appears that a few Android devices DO have IR emitters a.k.a. “IR Blasters,” but alas, Apple products do not.
http://www.theverge.com/2013/4/24/4262074/is-this-the-year-of-the-ir-blaster
jayackroyd
@Elizabelle: *2 Hilarious comments. I loved the sequence kicked off by the guy who’s Dodge useta catch fire when climbing hills
dmsilev
@Betty Cracker: Look into getting a Logitech Harmony remote. They work pretty well, and are easy to program (you plug the remote into your computer, and the computer application that comes with the remote walks you through describing your AV setup and what you want to do with it, and programs the remote accordingly).
Betty Cracker
@dmsilev: I will look into that, thanks. If I’m going to have to shell out that much money, though, I expect the device to make all electronics in every room and outside too to obey me without question.
WereBear
I have never been so glad that the office switched over to all-Apples as I was when Windows 8 came out.
Remember that episode in Star Trek where Spock could hear the screams of a whole Vulcan ship when the giant amoeba ate it?
It was kind of like that.
Elizabelle
@jayackroyd:
That one belongs in a movie.
And the kid whose father proudly gave him a PT Cruiser in error. When the kid was actually into Mini Coopers. Although: it drove and it was a gift. Kid happy.
And the kid grounded for calling his dad’s car a PT Loser within earshot.
And, most, that garish “patriotic” PTC with war p o r n. The Statue of Liberty with a big jet fighter next to it … (But a green waterfall in the back, no?) And firefighters carrying dead priest Mychal Judge from the WTC. (Yes. This is car art.)
dmsilev
@WereBear: Or, switching fictional universes, “I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.”
Elizabelle
@Betty Cracker:
My neighbor across the street keeps finding her garage door raised, because someone in the neighborhood has a remote that works her door as well. She says it’s eerie to be home alone and hear the garage door go up by itself.
She now suspects a neighbor behind her house. To hear.
schrodinger's cat
I am still with Windows 7 professional edition, why fix something that is not broken?
cleek
@dmsilev:
i love/hate the Logitech stuff.
i’ve gone through a bunch of them over the years because nobody else makes anything comparable.
one one hand, they do a good job when they work.
on the other hand, they are fragile, cheaply built and prone to losing their minds.
the one i have now has a tendency to forget which ‘activity’ it’s doing and shift back to the ‘pick and activity’ state. when it’s in that state, it doesn’t control anything. but you can’t just re-pick the activity because that will toggle the power on some devices. so, we’ve learned to stuff the front end into a pillow and re-choose the activity, when that happens. and it happens all the f’ing time.
i also hate that i need an account/username/password on the Logitech site just to play with the settings on my remote. and, you can’t do any adjustments at all unless you have an internet connection.
Rhoda
@mtiffany: I can use my HTC One as a remote and it was easy as pie to set up; so I don’t know about Apple but Android devices can do it.
WereBear
@dmsilev: Yes, like that.
I prognosticated the switchover when my boss got an iMac for doing our own layout for publications, like a decade ago. I set it up for her and rubbed my hands and laughed like a super-villain once I was done.
She was all, “What, it’s just for desktop publishing, we have all these spreadsheets and I have a PC laptop…”
As attrition took down the PCs, they were replaced with Apples. In the ultimate irony… we don’t even do paper publications any more.
And that first Mac? Still running. Now at the reception desk.
kindness
Are you calling John Cole a lesbian?
WaterGirl
@Mustang Bobby: Windows XP was the first windows OS that didn’t completely suck, and it was really good. The only other decent one (my opinion) is Windows 7.
I feel for
anyoneeveryone who has to move off XP because they are no longer issuing updates.@Mustang Bobby: Your IT pal is exactly right. At some point, it makes NO SENSE to upgrade the operating system. It’s definitely time to replace those old computers; I hope you guys have the money to be able to do it.
Somebody should have been thinking ahead to this day; let’s home they were.
Seanly
My company is scrabbling to get rid of the remaining 25% of desktop/laptops running on XP. I think that is probably somewhere north of 7,000 machines. We’re an consulting engineer firm so it’s all Windows based, but I don’t think there are any Windows 8 devices.
PT Cruiser is one of the most hideous cars ever. I usually saw them being driven by faux tough guy middle aged folks too afraid to get a Harley. The grandparents usually get the Scions since they were pretty cheap if you got them without all the raver frills.
WaterGirl
@cmorenc: I am not fond of universal remotes, either. One size fits all never fits anything.
WaterGirl
What’s with all the PT Cruiser hate? I think they are quite good looking.
WereBear
@WaterGirl: Yeah. In my day, the ride you got from the gran’rents was a land yacht with all the radio presets on Easy Listening.
PaulW
DON’T PISS ON MY PT CRUISER I LOVED MY CAR.
Yes, it had a weak engine, but while I had it I drove where I needed to go, it had great head room and leg room for a guy my height, and it just felt right as a car to me.
I want Chrysler to bring back a new PT, one with a better engine in it. They can make Fiats small enough and still run, why not a PT Cruiser with a hybrid/electric engine?
PaulW
@schrodinger’s cat:
Because Windows is planning ahead towards a tablet-dominated future and wanted their OS to be touch-screen friendly. Despite the fact laptops still have their value and most laptops are more keyboard/desktop menu friendly.
jayackroyd
@dmsilev: The Harmony has at least transported the “which remote do I use?” problem to one device. But it comes up short of Big Red Button status–there are way too many trips to the help button to get the input right when you are changing device combinations. It’s most irritating when trying to switch from a home theater setting to just teevee setting while watching a movie.
And I still have to use the Roku remote.
JustRuss
Love this from the Win8 article:
I’m glad MS has finally noticed that a few of its users still use a keyboard and mouse. Idiots.
Tehanu
Not to be rude or anything, but Windows 7, which I am stuck with both at home and work, is dreadful. The latest outrage is that the “search by date modified” feature doesn’t pick up the last three files you worked on that day. I can’t even imagine how god-awful Windows 8 must be, and as for Office 2010, I’d like to draw and quarter everyone who conceived and birthed it and then have the pieces arrested. They designed it for illiterates, took away most of the features that allowed you to control it, changed half the stuff to menus that you have to scroll down every single fucking time, and failed to fix any of the real problems — not to mention that the click boxes are now so small you need binoculars to see them (unless you choose one of the only 3 possible options for resizing, in which case suddenly most of your customizations end up going off the screen and you have to, yes, scroll down another goddam menu). They managed to ruin SnagIt while they were at it and I had to sneak my old S7 back on to my system in order to be able to use it at all. Friggin’ vultures.
tybee
the PT Cruiser thread is indeed humorous.
also glad to hear that my decision to not upgrade snagit was correct.
windows 8 sucks. 7 is not too bad but changing stuff around just for the sake of changing it is one reason many people despise microsoft releases. i agree with the “draw and quarter and then arrest the pieces” suggestion up thread.
i know that some large corporations have avoided both and remain on XP (wells fargo for instance) but they will pay microsoft a bribe to keep providing xp updates and updates for the older server OS they still run.