This is a Show Tune, But the Show Hasn’t Been Written For It Yet

When family values Mississippi Louisiana Goddam Representative Vance McAllister got caught on a surveillance tape kissing a staffer, the first thing he did, after calling out to Baby Jesus for forgiveness, was to can the Jezebel who lured him into her trap of lust and damnation:

The video, which came from a surveillance camera at the congressman’s Monroe district office, shows McAllister in an embrace and passionate kiss with one of his staff.

The former staffer who McAllister is with in the video is Melissa Anne Hixon Peacock, 33, of Sterlington.

Adam Terry, McAllister’s chief of staff, said Peacock was taken off of the payroll during the past 24 hours.

This bible-banger has five kids with the wife he cheated on, and his staffer is married. If he were asked about the same situation on the campaign trail, I’m sure he’d recommend that anyone engaging in such behavior should have their food stamps and Medicaid cut off without recourse, and that the cheater and his harlot descend to their knees and wail to the heavens in vain hope of forgiveness from the one true God and his only son. Instead, he says that  he will run again “unless there is an outcry for me not to serve”. He also claims that this is “absolutely” the first time he’s cheated. My guess is that it ain’t, but I’m a faithless atheist, so my opinion is of far less value that a God-fearing, upright, church-going, full-immersion baptized, Sunday school teaching, white male Christian like McAllister.

 






90 replies
  1. 1
    ellie says:

    The curious thing about this is that McAllister, who voted to repeal the Affordable Care Act, recently “praised the Obama administration for keeping open a call center dedicated to enrolling people into the law after the initial enrollment period,” according to Think Progress. So, was he set up by his fellow republicans?

    http://thinkprogress.org/healt.....nter-open/

  2. 2
    The Golux says:

    Splitting hairs, but he’s from Louisiana.

  3. 3
    shelly says:

    James O’Keefe gets slapped down by a Texas court. The headline over at Breitbert News?
    “One ton crocodile captured in Uganda.”

  4. 4
    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader says:

    McAllister wants us all to live according to his religion while he does whatever the fuck he wants.

  5. 5
    Hawes says:

    Wasn’t he from Louisiana?

    Aren’t they ALL from Louisiana?

  6. 6
    evolved beyond the fist mistermix says:

    @The Golux: I was so fixated on using a Mississippi Goddam reference that I screwed that up. Thanks.

  7. 7
    gene108 says:

    @ellie:

    Republicans routinely show up at ribbon cutting ceremonies and such of places they voted to defund out of existence, because most folks like their local clinic and such, but are too lazy to realize if their Representative got his way the clinic would not exist.

    Makes for good PR, while not offending the sensibilities of folks who pay attention to voting records because the Rep voted “the right way” for those folks.

  8. 8
    Eric U. says:

    I have recently come to the conclusion that fundamentalist Christianity is all about the “believer” and their ego.

  9. 9
    lgerard says:

    The tiny newspaper group who ran this video was opposed to McAllister, they endorsed his rival in the special election and called McAllister a “liberal”.

    My question is where did these 2 yahoos get 10 grand to donate to his campaign, I’ll bet that story won’t stand too much investigation.

  10. 10
    eric says:

    that’s right liberal’s throw stones. Remember, David was King of Israel despite his romantic wandering. Long live Vance McAllister, King of the Jews!

  11. 11
    phantomist says:

    I think he’s going to use the-‘Hey, at least I wasn’t wearing a diaper’-defense.

  12. 12
    coin operated says:

    The video was known about in January, but the staffer is just now being removed from payroll? Hmmm….

  13. 13
    MattF says:

    “Absolutely” the first time? Ha ha.

    Q: Is McAllister a liar?
    A: Yes.

  14. 14
    Howard Beale IV says:

    @Eric U.: Reminds me when Bloom County was running, and Bill the Cat turned into Fundamentally Oral Bill the preacher and was caught in some scandal. He went on TY saying, God has forgiven me, why don’t you-and the folks watching him said ‘Let’s send him Billy’s college fund’.

    Not much different…

  15. 15
    BGinCHI says:

    Why don’t these asshats just throw in with the Mormons so they can get extra wives?

    Oh yeah, cuz then they would have to take responsibility.

  16. 16
    J.D. Rhoades says:

    @shelly:

    James O’Keefe gets slapped down by a Texas court.

    Damned Texas liberals.

  17. 17
    Penus says:

    Brother Ali! What a great song, and a whoop-ass beat.

  18. 18
    TaMara (BHF) says:

    She was removed from the payroll? So the cheating lying bastard still has a job, but she loses hers? Why of course, what was I thinking, she led him astray.

    ETA: Harlot.

  19. 19
    Marc says:

    …but I’m a faithless atheist, so my opinion is of far less value that a God-fearing, upright, church-going, full-immersion baptized, Sunday school teaching, white male Christian adulterer like McAllister.

    Fixed.

  20. 20
    coin operated says:

    Damned Texas liberals.

    Yeah…how dare they use rulings by the current Republican AG against us!!!

  21. 21
    Roger Moore says:

    @Eric U.:

    I have recently come to the conclusion that fundamentalist Christianity is all about the “believer” and their ego.

    Only recently?

  22. 22

    This bible-banger has five kids with the wife he cheated on, and his staffer is married… Instead, he says that he will run again “unless there is an outcry for me not to serve”.

    This tells me that he either doesn’t care, doesn’t understand, or doesn’t regret the hurt he caused his wife and family, because he’s still thinking of himself and his own ambitions rather than focusing on being there and trying to save his marriage through counselling and focusing on healing his family of the pain he caused.

  23. 23
    J R in WV says:

    If I were the poor woman who he was abusing and has now fired, I’d be in court so fast he would think the world was spinning!

    It’s almost her responsibility to keep the story in the news until he gives up running for office!

    What a … words fail me … lying, phoney religious-for-the profits fraud! There, I found some words that seem to fit, it just took a minute.

  24. 24
    Punchy says:

    I suspect the canned chick will sing like a canary. Expect Jumbo Dumbo Gumbo to have his philandering on Page 1 by tomorry.

  25. 25
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @coin operated: Gee, that’s funny, isn’t it. Well, dispose of the jezebel, remove the temptation, and then ala Jimmy Swaggart give a tearful confession and go right back to schtupping the staff.

    Yup, he’s an authentic bible thumper, he is.

    The man is dogshit.

  26. 26
    Mary G says:

    Perhaps her husband should exercise those Second Amendment rights they are always talking about. (OK, joking)(sort of).

    I have been reading the Crunchy Con for amusement value over his outrage about Eich’s ouster from Mozilla and the terrible persecution of Christians over gay marriage. He has a good take, though, as this guy is his representative:

    If the surveillance video is what it purports to be — and there is neither confirmation nor denial from McAllister — then he is a hypocrite who should resign in disgrace and go home and beg his wife and his children for mercy. If he hadn’t run on Christian family values, it would still be disgraceful, but there would be a case of cutting him some slack. If this is what it looks like, though, he’s done. Or ought to be.

    UPDATE: McAllister’s done the full Swaggart, and confessed. He’s not resigning. Most of his district is in north Louisiana, which is not as tolerant of these things as south Louisiana, so we’ll see. Plus, he’s brand new in the job, so he hasn’t built up many chits. Again, we’ll see. Oh, and by the way, the woman he was fooling around with the wife of an old friend. Classy.

  27. 27
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Comrade Dread: Um, excuse me. “the hurt he caused his wife and family”? What does that have anything do do with this selfish prick’s world view?

    Which is pretty much what you were saying without coming out and calling him a selfish prick.

  28. 28
    KG says:

    @Eric U.: that’s true of any form of fundamentalism, really.

  29. 29
    SatanicPanic says:

    I’m not proud of some of the ways I’ve treated the women I’ve slept with, but I never fired anyone from their job the next day. That’s harsh.

  30. 30
    KG says:

    @MattF: it “absolutely” was the first time he cheated, in that this was a one-off event. Now, the fact that he has a paramour AND a mistress, well, that’s not cheating because… shut up, that’s why!

  31. 31
    CONGRATULATIONS! says:

    Fires his side dish for getting caught? That is fucking low.

    ETA: This is the kind of guy who would beg hostage takers to shoot his wife/misterss/the bank teller first. You can be a dirtbag, cheat on your wife, and still do it in an honorable way, where you take the shots if something goes bad. Not this guy.

  32. 32
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @CONGRATULATIONS!: It’s what “Christians” like this asshole are. Low. Very low. Beneath contempt. Bottom of the ocean under whale shit beneath contempt.

  33. 33
    Bobby Thomson says:

    It’s always the woman who loses her job. Always.

  34. 34
    peach flavored shampoo says:

    I’m not proud of some of the ways I’ve treated the women I’ve slept with, but I never fired anyone from their job the next day.

    I hear ya. Me too. I never tried to get Keira Knightley fired from the set of her latest movie, but the director had his doubts.

  35. 35
    gene108 says:

    @Comrade Dread:

    trying to save his marriage through counselling

    What makes you think his marriage is in trouble?

    I doubt he gets divorced.

  36. 36
    eldorado says:

    @shelly: i think you meant to say convicted felon james o’keefe

  37. 37
    RSR says:

    I love how she remained on the payroll for at least two months after he ‘told’ his wife sometime ‘in late January or early February.’ Lord knows, it’s hard to remember the date when you told your spouse about your ‘first infidelity.’ We’re not talking St. Pauli Girl, here.

  38. 38
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @peach flavored shampoo: Pretty much how I never conspired with anyone to destroy the career of…uh, Morgan Fairchild..yeah, that’s the ticket!

  39. 39
    Roger Moore says:

    @Mary G:

    Oh, and by the way, the woman he was fooling around with the wife of an old friend. Classy.

    That kind of thing seems to happen a lot. I guess you’re more likely to start an affair with somebody you already know well, a group that includes both spouses of old friends and coworkers. When somebody is in both categories, look out!

  40. 40
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @RSR: Perhaps we ARE talking about a St. Pauli Girl here..

    “It was at Octoberfest in Munich…she was carrying all those steins…I was overwhelmed by the huge steins…”.

  41. 41
    kindness says:

    The ‘First Time he Cheated’?

    Oh for the days when this in and of itself would be grist for the comedy mill. Oh, yea….those days are now.

  42. 42
    bemused says:

    So the video came from a surveillance camera at his office. How did that video get to media and who and why did it?

  43. 43
    MattF says:

    @bemused: Hmm. I’m thinking that just maybe Rep. McAllister has done some not-so-nice things to some other folks in his immediate vicinity.

  44. 44
    Eric U. says:

    @Roger Moore: Of course, the prosperity gospel folks are pure evil/ego, but some of the things that more normal seeming believers do seem so pious that I was fooled until recently. I think it was the billboards that say, “You will meet God” that made me realize they think that will be a good thing for them. Funny thing is, they seem to ignore the story of Aaron’s sons in Leviticus — they make up their own ways of honoring god and so he kills them. I think the burnt offerings they made were too burnt or something. Maybe god doesn’t like billboards, who knows?

  45. 45
    Punchy says:

    @Roger Moore: My neighbor 3 houses down cheated on his wife with……wait for it….his wife’s really good friend who is married to….wait for it….his co-worker.

    So his marriage is toast, his work life must be hell (likely his co-worker’s marriage is toast), he’s paying alimony, child support, divorce lawyers, and may be needing a new job environment. At some point, he must have thought that his wife would never uncover this and no one would squeal?

    The stupidity of people can be downright amazing.

  46. 46
    gene108 says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Bottom of the ocean under whale shit

    Whale shit floats and is a fertilizer for phytoplankton, which is the base of the aquatic food chain. Whale shit has redeeming qualities.

    http://www.npr.org/templates/s.....=130437080

  47. 47
    Jay in Oregon says:

    How many stories do we have to read of politicians who revere the Bible falling into wickedness and vice before we do something? It seems like holding high political office is too much for our brothers in Christ.

    Much as our young women should dress modestly in order to keep their men from being tempted by lust, we should strive to defend conservative family values by voting godly men out of office. Their families will thank us.

  48. 48
    srv says:

    Forget it Jake, it’s Louisiana.

  49. 49
    GregB says:

    Isn’t Louisiana home of that insane Republican who forced abortions on his mistresses too?

  50. 50
    PaulW says:

    In a sane world, the guy would lose his job and the woman gets to stay.

    Here’s a better solution, voters: nominate and elect virgins to office. That way, when there’s a sex scandal, nobody’s gonna mind it.

    Wartenberg in 2016!

  51. 51
    gratuitous says:

    @bemused: First Draft is wondering the same thing, via their contact with a local Louisiana blog (name escapes me at the moment, my bad). It’s been four months between action and publication, and the small for-pay outlet got wide play on this within hours of putting up the video. That outlet had endorsed McAllister’s opponent during the campaign.

    Somebody had this and rolled on McAllister. Right now, McAllister is making contrite noises, but from what I understand, that particular corner of the Pelican State is a political nest of vipers. Look for McAllister to get some information on the proper direction, and he’ll strike back. Another tub of popcorn over here, waiter. This might get real good.

    As for McAllister firing Peacock, what else is he going to do? He’s not going to resign (in which case Peacock would lose her job anyway – word to women thinking about canoodling with the boss). His wife isn’t going to sit back and say, “Sure Honey; you keep Melissa around the office. I trust you.” Said no wife ever in the history of the world.

  52. 52
    Roger Moore says:

    @Eric U.:

    I think it was the billboards that say, “You will meet God” that made me realize they think that will be a good thing for them.

    People like that need to spend more time reading Matthew 25:31-46. Jesus is unusually clear about exactly what kinds of things God is going to reward and what he’s going to punish, and I don’t think most of the Christianists are going to measure up. Whenever I listen to Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison and San Quentin albums, I think of that passage and what it really means.

  53. 53
    PaulW says:

    @Punchy:

    So his marriage is toast, his work life must be hell (likely his co-worker’s marriage is toast), he’s paying alimony, child support, divorce lawyers, and may be needing a new job environment. At some point, he must have thought that his wife would never uncover this and no one would squeal?
    The stupidity of people can be downright amazing.

    Adulterers never think of the consequences, only of the passion… or some twisted need to prove they’re cunning enough to pull it off…

  54. 54
    rikyrah says:

    that was taken on a cellphone camera. someone was determined to bust his ass

  55. 55
    Cervantes says:

    @PaulW:

    In a sane world, the guy would lose his job and the woman gets to stay.

    No, in a sane world, it would be a private matter — not least because a person like McAllister would never be an elected official.

  56. 56
    SatanicPanic says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: I know it might seem like it was my fault that Megan Fox didn’t appear in Transformers 3, but I promise I had nothing to do with that.

  57. 57
    bemused says:

    @MattF:

    A holier-than-thou conservative cheater is same-old these days. A lot more intriguing story may be who knocked him off his altar of family values.

  58. 58
    Samuel Knight says:

    Interesting to see how the Dems respond. Because sex sells.

    The obvious angle is start trumpeting that this is another example of the GOP always blaming women first and making them suffer. Contraception – it’s the womens fault. Abortion, same, etc.

    The question in the mid terms is get out your base. Remind your single women base that one side despises them. Use it to tar all GOPers.

    We all know that this is basically what the RNC would be doing right now.

  59. 59
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @MattF: It could be that someone in the neighborhood decided that local asshole needs some comeuppance. For some reason, fundamentalist vermin are most susceptible to this sort of thing…both the rank betrayal of their supposedly most deeply held believes, and the need for comeuppance.

  60. 60
    scav says:

    @gratuitous: But he did keep the Jezabel at the office after his poor dear forgiving wifie and ever-to-be-protected privacy-needing kids supposedly learned about it. Hitting the presses punches the within 24 hours button. I like that Dad’s take on parenting and forgiveness from the kids involves them having no clue about what they’re forgiving him about, nor witnessing and learning from the inevitable consequences of his sin.

  61. 61
    Roger Moore says:

    @PaulW:

    Adulterers never think of the consequences, only of the passion… or some twisted need to prove they’re cunning enough to pull it off…

    The same thing in general is true of just about everyone doing something they shouldn’t be. If they were thinking about being caught and punished, they probably wouldn’t have been doing that in the first place. They either think they’re going to get away with it or aren’t thinking about consequences at all. This is a big reason I don’t believe in stronger punishments as a deterrent to crime: the criminals aren’t thinking about getting caught. Longer sentences might make sense to keep criminals out of circulation, but deterrence is likely to work better by increasing the likelihood of being punished rather than the severity.

  62. 62
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @gene108: No no no.

    The proper form is: “VDE, Whale Shit Anti-Defamation League on line two”

  63. 63
    Quaker in a Basement says:

    Very first time and it’s caught on camera?

    Unlucky sumbitch, ain’t he?

  64. 64
    South of I10 says:

    @gratuitous: This may be the blog entry to which you are referring: http://cenlamar.com/2014/04/08.....landering/

  65. 65
    JPL says:

    The GA amendment mandating marriage between one man and one woman was drafted by an adulterer. You know marriage between loving homosexuals would debase his marriage or something.

  66. 66
    Petorado says:

    he will run again “unless there is an outcry for me not to serve”

    The two telltale signs of a conservative are the utter lack of shame and constant state of victimhood.

    @GregB: At least he didn’t make them use birth control, because THAT would be wrong.

  67. 67
    scav says:

    @Petorado: Not to miss the hard following “If there’s somebody more perfect than me who they support,” blahblahblah. That arrogance is bone-deep and not-unexpected.

  68. 68
    WaterGirl says:

    @JPL:

    The GA amendment mandating marriage between one man and one woman was drafted by an adulterer.

    I think he meant to add the words “one at a time”, but forgot.

  69. 69
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @SatanicPanic: I’ve read that Ms. Fox got the boot because she compared Michael Bey to Hitler. Señor Spielbergo did not like that, and ordered delivery of the boot.

    So I think you’re off the hook…this time…

  70. 70
    Keith G says:

    @South of I10: I don’t see you around these parts much anymore. How are things going?

  71. 71
    Keith G says:

    Removed a duplicate.

  72. 72
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Roger Moore:

    deterrence is likely to work better by increasing the likelihood of being punished rather than the severity.

    Well, we’re fucked, because it’s well known that banksters, for example, never suffer for their crimes, no matter how egregious. I mean, look at that duPont heir who raped his three year old daughter and was deemed “too delicate” to actually be sent to prison.

    That guy, not Theon Lovejoy, deserves Theon’s fate.

  73. 73
    South of I10 says:

    Going fine, thanks for asking. Between work and running the 9 year old to sports and guitar, I don’t have a lot of free time!! Still read here all the time, just don’t comment much.

  74. 74
    NotMax says:

    It’s a funhouse mirror version of the common tactic.

    “I need to keep this position in order to spend less time with my family.”

  75. 75
    Tinare says:

    The Washington Post reports that Peacock is also listed on a post election campaign finance report as being paid $300 as “reimbursement for headquarter cleaning.”

    Headquarter cleaning. Is that what they’re calling it these days?

  76. 76
    maya says:

    Actually, this was the theme for Lerner & Lowe’s Camelot. The idyllic kingdom torn apart by infidelity. probably, the tune, If Ever I should Leave You says it best.

    Incidentally, what has happened to all those great musicals of the ’50 -’60s? All gone. Watched Fiddler On The Roof the other night with a friend who never saw it and I was amazed at what an excellent movie musical that was. I was even more surprised to see that the two guys who wrote the songs and lyrics, Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick never got the public recognition that Lerner & Lowe and Rodgers & Hammerstein did. Camelot, btw, which was also watched later, sounded very similar in song style and fast rhyming lyrics to My Fair Lady. Sure enough, that also done by L & L. I guess they were running out of originality by then.

  77. 77
    catclub says:

    @South of I10: I read that blog entry. I think the writer overstates the ‘Someone broke into a Federal facility and recorded this video’, when referring to the Congressman’s office. On the other hand, ratfucking to shoot down somebody who said good words about the Medicaid expansion makes a lot of sense.

  78. 78
    South of I10 says:

    Accusations are starting to fly: http://www.thenewsstar.com/art.....aked-video

  79. 79
    scav says:

    @maya: There’s also a market for comforting similarity, different but not in essentials and not too different. See Dennys, any number of chain restaurants actually. Tricky having to maintain a balance between those always looking for the next local dive with the latest unknown veggie and those looking for a place with their ritual #37 extra pickle.

    ETA forgot to add how to manage that when the auditory diners have to sit at the same table and eat from the same serving platters.

  80. 80
    Roger Moore says:

    @Tinare:

    Headquarter cleaning. Is that what they’re calling it these days?

    I guess so, even though it was probably his hindquarter she was cleaning.

  81. 81
    columbusqueen says:

    @GregB: No, Tennessee.

  82. 82
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @South of I10:

    “t’s an absolute lie,” Walsworth said. “He knows it’s not true. I can’t believe a minister would outright lie like that.

    Oh, I can believe a minister of the heresy that is American fundigelicism would lie. It’s what these vile maggots do for a grifting. They are all irredeemable scum. Every last one of them.

  83. 83
    CONGRATULATIONS! says:

    Very first time and it’s caught on camera?

    Unlucky sumbitch, ain’t he?

    @Quaker in a Basement: That is an incredible stroke of bad luck. It would be more understandable if he’d been doing it for years, but apparently that’s not the case!

  84. 84
    CONGRATULATIONS! says:

    Longer sentences might make sense to keep criminals out of circulation, but deterrence is likely to work better by increasing the likelihood of being punished rather than the severity.

    @Roger Moore: My criminal justice friends tell me that neither one matters to offenders at all. From little to large, they ALL think they’ll get away with it.

  85. 85
    Anton Sirius says:

    Tying mistermix’s two threads together somewhat, former Yankee and noted holier-than-thouist Chad Curtis is in a wee spot of trouble.

  86. 86
    Roger Moore says:

    @CONGRATULATIONS!:

    My criminal justice friends tell me that neither one matters to offenders at all. From little to large, they ALL think they’ll get away with it.

    People in the criminal justice system aren’t seeing an unbiased sample, though; they’re seeing a selected set of people who obviously weren’t deterred. If we were able to increase deterrence so that crime went down 90%, the remaining 10% would be still be people who weren’t afraid of being caught, either because they actively thought they could get away with it or because they weren’t thinking through the consequences at all. That wouldn’t prove that deterrence wasn’t working, just that it wasn’t working perfectly.

  87. 87
    burnspbesq says:

    Your opinion isn’t worthless because you’re an atheist.

    Your opinion isn’t worthless in spite of your atheism.

    Belief in a deity, or lack thereof, isn’t relevant.

    Your opinion is worthless because you’re a clown.

  88. 88
    cckids says:

    @Eric U.:

    Maybe god doesn’t like billboards, who knows?

    Some fundy group here in Vegas thinks it is a good use of money to put big billboards at the end of the Strip that say “What Happens in Vegas? GOD KNOWS”.

    I believe they are meant to scare people, in reality they are used for photo ops for drunken 20-somethings exhibiting “what happens in Vegas”. Also for locals to get a good laugh.

  89. 89
    Mike G says:

    @Eric U.:

    I have recently come to the conclusion that fundamentalist Christianity is all about the “believer” and their ego.

    And the religion is basically a weapon to bludgeon others with judgement, to reinforce just how special their sainted tribal selves are — not something that applies to them.

  90. 90
    J R in WV says:

    To serious religionists, priests, people with doctorates in theology and such folk, these fundy ministers are rank heretics.

    A friend and Episcopal priest rode on an airline trip beside a prosperity preaching minister, who proceeded to ask my friend what the nightly take was for Episcopals. Apparently fundy ministers get a (big) percentage of the collection for each service. Depending upon who gets to count the “take”
    of course. Sounds like the nightly take at a small one ring circus, eh?

    Episcopals on the other hand are fairly paid employees of their diocese – deductions for health care, contributions to the pension fund, all just like a real business with real ethics. Of course, they also get the opportunity to learn Aramaic, Hebrew and ancient Greek, along with the rest of their advanced degree topics.

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