Papa’s Got a Brand New Car

Well, new for me.



I had never bought a car from a dealership before- every other time I bought a car I just threw a couple grand at someone and signed the title. Damn, there was a lot of paperwork. I seriously signed fewer papers when I enlisted in the Army.

Slammed the Steelers sticker on the car before I even left the lot, and getting used to the new angle of the windshield took about 2/3 of the ride home.

Thinking about a vanity plate, and I might try to slide EFF-EWE or EPH-EWE through and see if I can get away with it.

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82 replies
  1. 1
    raven says:

    Some fancy photoshop work there.

  2. 2
    Schlemizel says:

    I was going to point out that someone damaged the car already but you confessed to defacing the back window yourself.

    Happy motoring!

  3. 3
    PsiFighter37 says:

    You could go with ‘EFF YOU’, just to be straightforward about your misanthropy.

  4. 4
    ronin122 says:

    If West Virginia is anything like Illinois, forget it. We got full-time paid staff whose sole purpose is to make sure license plates don’t have such vulgarities hidden inside. Why not IH8PPL or maybe just Tunch?

  5. 5
    Baud says:

    Congrats! Now you just need to pick a nice field to get her stuck in.

  6. 6
    efgoldman says:

    Jeezuss. This much angst into buying a car. Pity the poor person you finally end up marrying, or the poor real estate agent if you ever buy another house.

  7. 7
    efgoldman says:


    Why not IH8PPL or maybe just Tunch?


  8. 8
    Ruckus says:

    Tunch being a proper name and all that may not be allowed, especially in that part of the country.

  9. 9
    Schlemizel says:

    Maybe you could try PHHUGH bet that would pass

  10. 10

    Congrats, huevon. Nice lookin’ ride. Protip: use the cupholders to carry yr mustard jars. Helpful if the Grey Poupon limo pulls up alongside requesting some.

  11. 11
    muddy says:

    BJ would be jaunty! Or do they not allow them so short?

  12. 12
  13. 13
    Ruckus says:

    I’m thinking BJ is right out.

  14. 14
    Amir Khalid says:

    Why is the steering on the left-hand side?

  15. 15
    MomSense says:


  16. 16
  17. 17
    muddy says:

    @Ruckus: jinx

  18. 18
    Jane2 says:

    I ‘ve always wanted a plate that read PMS666.

  19. 19
    YellowJournalism says:

    How about 2K4-EVA in honor of how long it took to get it?

    ETA: It looks really spiffy. Like it!

  20. 20
  21. 21
    max says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: How about FAT CAT?

    BASTARD! I was just came in here to say that.

    FATCAT is the ONLY choice.

    [‘Well, LFDIF (Left For Dead In Field) would work. Be prepared!’]

  22. 22
    Kristine says:

    How about “FLOOFY!”

    The car looks nice–I like the wood in the steering wheel and dash.

  23. 23
    RobertDSC-Power Mac G5 Dual says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    Congrats, John. I wonder how many pets/mustard jars you’ll attract with the new wheels.

  24. 24
    Roger Moore says:

    How about BLLNJC or BLLN-JC (if they let you use a dash)?

    ETA: How about IOKIYAR?

  25. 25
    max says:

    @max: Well, LFDIF (Left For Dead In Field) would work. Be prepared!



  26. 26
    Ruckus says:

    This is going to be fun.
    Like when I was looking for a name for my bicycle shop and some people suggested

    Say it out loud. And yes, those were my friends.

  27. 27

    @Irony Abounds: Nah, there was a whole ‘nother thread on that topic, and he’s not trying to slip 3DLRBLL past the state of W by gawd V.

  28. 28
    NotMax says:

    Vanity plate?


    (Do the math, then say the result aloud.)

  29. 29
    Ruckus says:

    Sounds good to keep tailgaters back.

  30. 30
    efgoldman says:



    or “NOMOP”

  31. 31

    how abouts something with 62 in there for Mr. Ilkin?

  32. 32
    raven says:

    Will “I hate you fucking people” fit?

  33. 33
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    I’m guessing Tunch the Cat may be more famous than Tunch the Steeler at this point.

  34. 34
    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker says:

    I think Cole should go with

    Y ME

  35. 35
    NotMax says:

    Would suggest slapping a hand-applied coat of good quality wax on it periodically. Those silver or gunmetal paint jobs often have a tendency to fade and/or develop a splotchy look when left outdoors in sun and weather.

  36. 36
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    You and 50% of the over-45 population.

  37. 37
    muddy says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Everyone around here knows Tunch because I go shopping with the FEED bag with his picture. I tell people it’s the cat’s blog when they admire him. I also fill it with food and treats once a week for the local shelter. It’s a good size bag for a good size cat.

  38. 38
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @schrodinger’s cat:


  39. 39
    Howard Beale IV says:

    @Amir Khalid: Continental Europe?

  40. 40

    @SiubhanDuinne: Oh noes not the kittens, plz leave the kittens alone. Tunch will not be amused!

  41. 41
    SiubhanDuinne says:


    Tunch will live forevah!!

  42. 42
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Not my meme, I iz just quoting.

    I would never SKLFK a sweet little KTN.

  43. 43
    Elizabelle says:


    That’s my favorite suggestion yet.

    It’s even vaguely goth.

  44. 44
    maya says:

    Where’s the gun rack?

  45. 45
    Fluke bucket says:

    I always liked IBI-UBU.

  46. 46
    Howard Beale IV says:

    @maya: Best sign I ever saw on a car:

    WARNING: Driver has less than $20 in ammunition”

  47. 47
    Violet says:

    Congrats! Those are great cars. Drive so well. Enjoy!

  48. 48
    Betty Cracker says:

    It’s a lovely car. So shiny! So clean!

  49. 49
    Brendan in Charlotte says:

    @ronin122: Heck – here in North Carolina, the DMV needed the teens to tell them why WTF was not exactly the thing to have on your license plate in the Bible belt. As in WTF-123

  50. 50
    max says:

    @Tara the Antisocial Social Worker: Y ME



  51. 51
    A Ghost To Most says:

    You might get away with FYYFF.

    Fvck you, you fvcking fvck.

  52. 52
    WaterGirl says:

    Cole needs a reversible plate. One for when he’s all Fuck you, I hate all of you, and another one for the good days. Or maybe just “LOVE LILY”. That’s good for all days.

  53. 53
    Bex says:


  54. 54
    Specialed5000 says:

    A few years ago in my old neighborhood in Richmond, VA I always used to see a green 70s Ford LTD with a plate that said MILF MAN.
    Before the acronym a was as well known, probably wouldn’t get away with it now. Lol

  55. 55
    p.a. says:

    “You leave little notes on my pillow:’We are out of milk.F.U.’. It took me 2 weeks to figure out F.U. meant Felix Ungar.”- Walter Matthau.

  56. 56
    the Conster says:


  57. 57
    YellowJournalism says:


  58. 58
    boatboy_srq says:

    @ronin122: It’s true the nation over. There’s a story about a FC in ME who, harking back to his home, got OUI OUI. ME DOT let him have it for a while, but eventually decided that it didn’t matter what language it was in, wee-wee was still wee-wee.

  59. 59
    CaseyL says:

    H8HMNS might work.

    Or PPLSCK.

    Congrats on the car; she looks lovely!

  60. 60
    Comrade Jake says:


  61. 61
    Betty Cracker says:

    There was a flap down here in FL several years ago when the state tried to revoke a JEWBAN license plate. Dude was half Jewish, half Cuban (not that uncommon in S FL), but the DMV was afraid people would think it referenced a ban on Jews. The Jewban guy ultimately prevailed, IIRC.

  62. 62
    Pogonip says:

    @p.a.: I got an e-mail once headed “f/u.” seemed overly aggressive till I realized it meant “follow up.”


    I’m trying to figure out how to condense “Steve’s bitch.”

  63. 63
    Pogonip says:

    I’ve got it! MOP2IT!

  64. 64
    muddy says:

    @YellowJournalism: CRMUDGN. Not that I’m trying to insert myself into it.

  65. 65
    bago says:

    Despite all the STEELERS and TANKS in his past, an armor piercing kitten did him in. FLUFF4EVA!

  66. 66
    p.a. says:

    Dead thread, but best vanity I ever saw: NTMNTM.

  67. 67
    thewesson says:

    “A FEW”?

  68. 68
    WaynersT says:

    that photoshop job was done by a mental patient

  69. 69
    Central Planning says:

    How about: F U N E X

    See this: YouTube

  70. 70
    ShadeTail says:

    About 10 years ago, I saw a car with a vanity plate that said: “GOD IS P[heart]”

    My first reaction was, “God is fart? Cool!”

  71. 71
    seefleur says:

    @Jane2:you are my kind of people… Cheers!

  72. 72
    Juju says:

    Nice wheels. I also like the ewe part, though I thought you might be making a comment about your fondness for sheep at first, then after reading the comment I realized I was way off on that one.

  73. 73
    Juju says:

    Comments, plural. Dang!

  74. 74
    waspuppet says:

    Someone in Rhode Island actually got away with FKMAWL. Saw it myself!

  75. 75
    p.a. says:

    STLR62- SteveTunchLilyRosie. 62 was Ilkin’s number. 1st Turkish NFLer?

  76. 76
    jame says:

    Why don’t you like Edwin Edwards?

  77. 77
    Montarvillois says:

    Hubba Hubba

  78. 78
    LuigiDaMan says:

    Steelers sticker lowers the value of the car by about 20%.

  79. 79
    kc says:


    Too dangerous. Motorists behind you would be laughing too hard to drive.

  80. 80
  81. 81
    brantl says:

    Thinking about a vanity plate, and I might try to slide EFF-EWE or EPH-EWE through and see if I can get away with it.

    Then you deserve to be rear-ended. And I don’t necessarily mean in the car.

  82. 82
    brantl says:

    Sofa Q, was one of the worst ones I ever saw, and I wanted to rear end him, when he cut me off.

Comments are closed.