We never got it off on that revolution stuff (what a drag)

You know, man, when I was a young man in high school, you believe it or not, being a conservative was kind of cool. You had Alex P. Keaton, P. J. O’Rourke, a young Dennis Miller, and even though they’re all douchebags by contemporary standards, they had some kind of proto-hipster cred at the time. Part of it was that there was a stereotype that liberals were humorless. You know, how many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb, one and it’s not funny…and all that.

Now all they’ve got is Scott Greenberg’s striped shirt, Nick Gillepsie’s “Cruising” jacket, Peter Suderman’s deep thoughts about Gorillaz and Surfer Blood, and maybe a tieless David Gregory.

But don’t think they won’t keep trying. I’ve got my eye on this hip young gunslinger:


I urge you to think this way because I have watched the spiritualization of finance develop not only at the highest levels, where Bono dwells, but right in my own backyard. As my friend Sam Morris attested last month on my Free Radicals podcast, his Zen Warrior Training program was a hit this year at New York Life.


This tension between outcast and overlord is at the heart of our sweeping change into a tech-driven, spiritually infused economy. The fate of free enterprise—and freedom itself—hangs in the balance. Bono’s new Republican fans glimpse one slice of the wisdom that will see us through this momentous transition.

Who’s your favorite cool conservative?

157 replies
  1. 1
    Alison says:

    YOU TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT ALEX P KEATON he isn’t a douchebag I will fight you.

    I mean okay, he kinda was a little but he was also so not-awful in many ways and plus maybe I had a teensy crush on MJF so it wasn’t possible for me to dislike Alex.

  2. 2
    Ash Can says:

    Trick question, right?

  3. 3
    Willie Stark says:

    This is pretty clearly AoSHQ’s shtick, right?

  4. 4

    Conservatives are not cool.

  5. 5
    DougJ says:


    He slept with someone he met at a Milton Friedman lecture. Douche!

  6. 6
    DougJ says:

    @Willie Stark:

    Who is AoSHQ?

  7. 7
    J.Ty says:

    Jesus christ. “Free Radicals”?

    I’ll never get the 20 seconds I spent skimming that article back, DougJ.

  8. 8

    Who’s your favorite cool conservative?

    Objection, assumes a metaphysical impossibility. Your logic is flawed.

  9. 9
    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q) says:

    I don’t have one, as you suspected. But I did see a great headline (at a horrid site, but I’ve had one of those weeks):

    Can De Blasio Be Less Blah?

    And I thought it was his wife and children who are blah.
    Daily Beast link

    I have my Gadsen stethoscope sticker on teh way, also, too..

  10. 10
    NotMax says:

    This is yet more of Palin’s ‘New Great Awakening’ wishful blather from her CPAC appearance.

  11. 11
    Scotius says:

    @Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant):

    Objection, assumes a metaphysical impossibility. Your logic is flawed.

    Assume a can opener.

  12. 12
  13. 13
    amorphous says:

    @DougJ: Ace of Spades

  14. 14
    jrg says:

    The Koch brothers are cool because they don’t give a fuck.

  15. 15
    Alison says:

    @DougJ: WHO AMONG US HAS NOT SLEPT WITH, okay yeah, that was bad. But you know, he was really short, maybe he had to take what he could get sometimes.

  16. 16
  17. 17
    Suffern ACE says:

    So they stopped reading Sun Tzu and pretending that they’re great generals and now they read Inazo Nitobe and pretend they’re samurai?

  18. 18
    Cain says:

    You know where that shit about liberals being humorless came from, right? All in the Family? Meathead was always up in arms about something.

    Fuck that shit, we’re the snarkiest motherfuckers around. I crack myself up every day. Except Sunday, that’s the Lord’s day.

  19. 19
    The Dangerman says:

    VCU latest 12-5 casualty; can’t believe VCU let that one get away…

  20. 20
  21. 21
    gogol's wife says:

    Irene Dunne, Shirley Temple, and Adolphe Menjou.

  22. 22
    Hal says:

    I didn’t know Dennis Miller was a conservative until he went all Bush apologia post 911. He seemed more open minded back in his SNL and early post SNL days.

  23. 23
    p.a. says:

    Nixon and Reagan are pretty cool; between 50°-55°f.

  24. 24
    Bargal20 says:

    You mean that Bono guy all the cool kids are into these days?

  25. 25
    JGabriel says:


    The Koch brothers are cool because they don’t give a fuck.

    That doesn’t make them cool. That just makes them crazy nastyass honey badgers – with a fetish for making others suffer.

  26. 26
    John Cole says:

    Who’s your favorite cool conservative?

    Reagan. He’s prolly about 50 degrees or less in his hole.

  27. 27
    jrg says:

    @JGabriel: Sarcasm.

  28. 28
    Robert Green says:

    I hired James at Huff Post Live. i needed a conservative on board who could get past Arianna H’s random weirdness (it changed day-to-day, but abby huntsman had already been brought in over my protestations). James is an interesting writer, an interesting thinker, and though he and I don’t agree most of the time, he’s a good dude and here’s the kicker: he’s actually in a good band, sort of 70s era bowie influenced, that plays out in Silverlake in LA (to the uninitiated, that’s brooklyn, basically), and he’s an actual hipster.

    i think on bill maher it was funny watching bill try to figure james out, as his politics can come off as a bit outside of standard paradigm at times.

  29. 29
    John Cole says:

    @p.a.: You beat me by two minutes you bastard.

  30. 30
    Schlemizel says:

    My favorite cool conservative? WF Buckley. Its because he is dead and I so wish every other one was too

  31. 31
    Felonius Monk says:

    cool conservative?

    Contradiction in terms.

  32. 32
    DougJ says:

    @Robert Green:

    He’s not all bad, but that Bono piece made me want to shoot myself.

  33. 33
    Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937 says:

    cool conservative? One of the Romney spawn? Is this a trick question?

  34. 34
    DougJ says:

    @Robert Green:

    Glad I went with a Bowie reference post title then.

  35. 35
    Bobby Thomson says:

    My favorite cool conservative? Still dead Breitbart.

    I guess he might be more of a cold conservative, actually.

    ETA: @Schlemizel: Also acceptable.

    @p.a.: Also, too.

  36. 36
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    Who’s your favorite cool conservative?

    Francis Urquhart. Local PBS just showed Ep. 1 of the original House of Cards.

  37. 37
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Hal: Miller was a left-leaning glibertarian pre-9’11. I saw him live in 1990 or so. The only line that sticks out is his opinion on abortion: “One cock equals no vote”. He had no use for Ken Starr and the impeachment brigade. I used to watch his HBO show, Janeane Garafalo was a regular guest, and I think I remember him being startstruck by Molly Ivins (I could be wrong on that). I suspect Maher was to the right of Miller back then, and they crossed paths after 9/11

  38. 38
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: I remember Miller being a Perotista in ’92.

  39. 39
    raven says:

    There is a very good Georgia football blog called “Get the Picture”. For some reason the owner decided it would be a good idea to ask what people thought about Obama buying advertising during college football games during the last campaign. The fucking place went ape shit. Teabag asshole went full-throat “thug, benghazi and America love it or leave it”. I went for the throat with “racist redneck goobers” and such and the dude deleted my comments because they came after he warned everyone. What gets me is how die hard Georgia football fans can but such out-and-out racist asshole. Do the AA players know what these people are like?

    eta Fuck some conservatives,

  40. 40
    Willie Stark says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: @Jim, Foolish Literalist: @Jim, Foolish Literalist: @Jim, Foolish Literalist: I remember finishing this book in 1999 or so and concluding that Miller was pretty far to the left.


  41. 41
    Suffern ACE says:

    Idk. Parker and Stone are fairly conservative and certainly like to portray anything liberal as humorless and douchy. Does that count?

  42. 42
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Suffern ACE: Nah, they are Gliberatarians.

  43. 43

    Grandpa McCain’s bile duct

  44. 44
    Willie Stark says:

    @raven: @raven: @raven: @raven: Sadly, it’s not limited to UGA.


  45. 45
    Ruckus says:

    Not with your dick.

    Oh, you didn’t mean it that way.

  46. 46
    DougJ says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    I could never get into that show, probably because I’m a humorless liberal.

  47. 47
    Anoniminous says:

    Coolest Conservative: Walt Disney-sicle at −238 °F

  48. 48
    JGabriel says:

    James Poulos:

    … Bono: He thinks of himself first and foremost as merely a human being; he’s serious about religion; he’s richer than almost every person, and not afraid to stay that way …

    Right, because it’s fear of staying wealthy that keeps the rich up at night, and makes people like the Koch brothers so eager to give away their wealth to the needy.

  49. 49
    raven says:


    Check this asshole out:

    Always interested to hear that we are running out of money to pay Social Security but we apparently are not running out of money to hand out to freeloaders and miscreants on welfare. Those that have paid in to Social Security DESERVE a full payment of their benefits. They EARNED it. It is only the fault of the socialistic, tax and spend Democratic party that they ROBBED the Social Security bank to pay for their entitlement programs. Obama is a pathetic, feckless moron, overmatched by the requirements of his position, who feels that every time he opens his lying mouth, he can issue edicts to the supposedly unwashed and intellectually deprived citizens he rules over lawlessly and great things will happen. He and liberal cronies spout about “income inequality” yet they are creating the 1% society through a system of meritocracy, where you get rich because you know someone. For a model of this type of government see China: The top 100 officials in the Chinese government have a net worth of $40 billion. How did they get that money when they have never held a private sector job? You figure it out. Right -they TOOK it from their citizens. We are just a couple steps away from this type of society with criminals like Obama in charge. Laughable to see that stalwart of balanced reporting in the media, Brian Williams of NBC, talking about his “shock” about the “crisis” of income inequality when he made $13 million last year. The irony of his shock is only exceed by his hypocrisy in making such a statement. He is firmly placed in the “1%” he decries. What a joke. Like all liberals, they love to wring their hands, but keep all their money in their pocket and take YOURS.

    His inadequacy is most recently embodied in the failed foreign policy of his administration, including John Kerry and prior to him, Hilary “what does it matter now” Clinton. These people are poison, the worst thing that has ever happened to our country.

  50. 50
    MikeJ says:


    Do the AA players know what these people are like?

    They’re not stupid, just used to it. White people tend to be a lot more shocked by the shit white people say than black people are.

  51. 51
  52. 52
    kc says:

    What is this shit?

  53. 53
    raven says:

    @MikeJ: Damn, who said anything about stupid?

  54. 54
    JGabriel says:

    @jrg: Of course. But it was good setup line to build on.

  55. 55
    Suffern ACE says:

    @raven: dear middle class douche. You kept your Bush Tax break and were probably silent when instead of investing in the country, we spent two trillion trying to remake the Middle East. You want to compare foreign policy?

  56. 56
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @raven: Yes, they know and they are trying to get what they can from the system – an education, a shot at the NFL, etc. – and good luck to them.

  57. 57
    raven says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Good luck to them for sure but damn.

  58. 58
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @raven: The voice of the mid-term electorate, ladies and gentlemen.

  59. 59
    Anoniminous says:


    80 years ago his – assume it’s a “he” – rants would have been against the Jews. Now it is Liberals.

    Thus progress is made.

  60. 60
    MikeJ says:

    @raven: Sorry, didn’t mean to imply that you thought they were. I believe I know you as well as one can know another through this medium, and I don’t think you would think that.

  61. 61
    Gian says:

    @Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant):
    A room temperature Phelps is a “cool” conservative. Can’t wait until others get cook like that

  62. 62

    Who’s your favorite cool conservative?

    Hoover. Goldwater. Reagan.

    Totes fracking cool.

  63. 63
    Gian says:

    Cool. .. not cook can’t edit

  64. 64
    Joel says:

    Tom Wolfe?

  65. 65
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @raven: You live down there. You know. I have an uncle who due to his wife’s job, is living is southern Alabama (and not in a college town). I couldn’t live in that town. I’ll just leave it at that. He is a drinker and lives in a dry county. He drives to the county line to buy his booze; he uses the AA store because the “white” store is full of assholes. He and his wife don’t plan on retiring there.

    @Joel: An ice cream suit doesn’t make one cool.

  66. 66
    MikeJ says:

    @Gian: As Fred Clark pointed out, Fred Phelps died on what would have been Fred Rogers 86th birthday.

    FredFredFred. FredFred.

  67. 67
    Culture of Truth says:

    You know, man, when I was a young man in high school, you believe it or not, being a conservative was kind of cool. You had Alex P. Keaton, P. J. O’Rourke, a young Dennis Miller

    That’s true. Walter Mondale was not cool. I still campaigned for Mondale.

  68. 68
    Liquid says:

    Homer Simpson, up until about season nine or ten; when it should have died.

  69. 69
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Culture of Truth: Walter Mondale was not cool. Sure. Reagan wasn’t cool either. But I was apparently a proto-hipster and that protected me from going mainstream and being conservative with a large number of my cohort.

  70. 70
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    BTW here is Bowie doing the song.

  71. 71
    Keith P says:

    Who’s your favorite cool conservative?

    I guess there’s Vince Vaughn.

  72. 72
    MikeJ says:

    @Culture of Truth: I had a chance to buy his desk (from his law firm(W&S), not VP), but didn’t have any place to put it.

  73. 73
    Culture of Truth says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Exactly… the young wingers convinced everyone they were going against the establishment by being Republicans, but the real counter culture for youth in those days was to *not* be Republicans…

  74. 74
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Culture of Truth: Hard to listen to the DKs and be pro-Reagan.

  75. 75
    Ruckus says:

    Yeah, I see this kind of crap on FB, from people I used to consider friends. President Obama is the worst ever. He hasn’t gotten us into 2 wars we never should have been in, he’s black, he’s making us buy insurance – unlike for our cars, he’s black and he has more prestige and power than most white men, he’s black, he likes women, did I mention he’s black?

  76. 76
    raven says:

    @Anoniminous: Uh, this was an early post:

    Florida went blue due to five counties – dade, broward, palm beach, Alachua (UF), and Leon (FSU). The south florida three are all controlled by carpetbagging northeasterns and jews, the latter two are obviously college towns that succeed despite their hyper-tax, hyper-liberal governance. But to the post’s point – all heavy CFB areas.

  77. 77
    MikeJ says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Hard to listen to the DKs and be pro-Reagan.

    Funny to think that their most stridently anti-Reagan song started life being about what a horrible nazi Jerry Brown was.

  78. 78
    raven says:

    @Ruckus: This motherfucker actually links to his FB where he has a picture of him with a mixed group. He got really hysterical when he got called out for being a racist. He has black friends. I then hit his twitter and it’s all about how could christians vote for the abortionists and gays. He’s a real estate puke in Roswell.

  79. 79
    srv says:

    If someone would just tell me where the fuck these FEMA camps are, I’ll start deliverying Welcome Packets to these nutters with instructions and bus tickets.

  80. 80
    Anoniminous says:


    At least I had a moment of hope.

  81. 81
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @MikeJ: The suede-denim secret police are the people putting old folks in front of death panels. Also too, your uncool niece deserved everything she got.

  82. 82
    MikeJ says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: It is ironic that the original lyrics to California Über Alles could have been written by a teabagger.

    Carter Power will soon go away
    I will be Fuhrer one day
    I will command all of you
    Your kids will meditate in school
    Your kids will meditate in school!

    Zen fascists will control you
    100% natural
    You will jog for the master race
    And always wear the happy face

    If that were released today Roy Edroso would have a 20 part series on “what kind of nutbag thinks this?”

  83. 83
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @MikeJ: Jello is a weird guy. OTOH, I am currently on a Midnight Oil kick. Won’t last the night, but there you have it.

  84. 84
    raven says:

    Looks like I’m safe to win some dough finally!

  85. 85
    MikeJ says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Just finished Low End Theory, now starting Rust Never Sleeps. Also finishing up a Savoureux Willamette Valley pinot noir. Not the best in the world, but very drinkable.

  86. 86
    Ruckus says:

    To answer your question.

    There is no such animal as a cool conservative. Zero, nada, none, zilch. It is such a contradiction that I’m amazed your computer didn’t suffer from spontaneous combustion as you were typing.

  87. 87
    Ruckus says:

    I wonder if his “friends” read his rants if they will still have their picture taken with him?

  88. 88
    NotMax says:

    Oh boy. More chilly rain.

    Was going to do some bread baking tomorrow, but may just switch it to tonight to warm the abode up a bit.

  89. 89
    John Revolta says:

    Tough question. I’m gonna go with Lord Nelson.

  90. 90
    🍀 Martin says:

    Gonna have to go with James O’Keefe. The dildo rape boat was very edgy hipster douchebag.

  91. 91
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @John Revolta: Wellington had his moments.

  92. 92
    MikeJ says:

    @John Revolta: Not Pitt the Younger?

  93. 93
    Suzanne says:

    Fuck conservatives.

    My mom called me today to tell me she signed up for Obamacare. She’s getting insurance for $21/month, with a $5 copay to see the doctor, $15 for the specialist, and $3 for her generic prescriptions.

    The weight that has been lifted is….beyond words.

  94. 94
    Mnemosyne says:


    Even before I read the other reply, I knew the guy had merely learned that ranting openly about Jews controlling everything made him look like an asshole, so he switched to “liberals” without actually changing his beliefs.

    You know, like the people who complain about Obama being a “Muslim” because they caught on that it was the new code word for “nigger.”

  95. 95
    Crouchback says:

    @Suffern ACE: Also the slight problem that South Park’s cultural peak was over a decade ago, back when people could still pretend politics didn’t matter. The show’s kept chugging along but it’s hardly cutting edge.

  96. 96
  97. 97
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @NotMax: he was an innovator – horse as senator? Sure, today it has been refined down to horse’s ass, but I still would give the credit to Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Plus also as well, his dad was actually quite cool.

  98. 98
    Ruckus says:

    But, but, but Obamacare is BAD.

    I know because I read about it on FB, it must be true. How can it help your mom if it’s as bad as people say it is?

    Seriously, that’s great news. That sounds cheaper than Medicare if you take into account how much they take out of your monthly SS and prescription costs.

  99. 99
    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again) says:

    @🍀 Martin:

    The dildo rape boat was very edgy hipster douchebag.

    I dunno…I’d go with, “very douchebag douchebag,” in little Jimmy’s case.

  100. 100
    Violet says:

    Who’s your favorite cool conservative?

    No one’s mentioned Sarah Palin yet? No love for the hairstyle and glasses that launched a million copycats? Somebody thought those were cool. She’s gotta be at least cool if not cold, living in Alaska and all.

  101. 101
    MomSense says:


    Congratulations to you and your mom!! That is great news.

  102. 102
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Violet: No. I still stand by Francis Urquhart.

  103. 103
    Avery Greynold says:

    Steven Colbert. But really he isn’t a conservative. Doesn’t hate nearly enough. Doesn’t preach fear worth a damn.
    OK, I kid.

  104. 104
    Mnemosyne says:


    Phew! Plus your governor decided to buck the nuttier nuts in your state and accept the Medicaid expansion, so there’s that to fall back on if it becomes necessary.

  105. 105
    Debbie(aussie) says:

    “spiritualisation of finance” you have got to be ducking kidding me! Money worshipping POS, more like it.
    ETA: that should be f#cking not ducking, stupid auto correct, changed it twice

  106. 106
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Mnemosyne: yeah. No one likes the meritocracy. From liberal side it’s too many upper class yahoos from Harvard and Yale mucking up our banking and public policy. For the conservatives, too many Jews and Asians getting into Harvard and Yale taking good banking jobs from the WASPs.

  107. 107
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Suffern ACE: Don’t make me post links to Michael Young.

  108. 108
    John Revolta says:

    Not much of a Pitt fan. Wellington did indeed have his good points……great general…………..but for sheer cool, I gotta go with Nelson.

  109. 109
    Suzanne says:

    @MomSense: This is mind-blowingly great. My mom hasn’t been in the best of health, and it has been a constant stressor to get her the care she needs.

  110. 110
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @John Revolta: Bullshit. Wellington outcools Nelson by exponents.

  111. 111
    Redshift says:

    OT, but I had to pass along this local example of weak-ass attempted ratfvcking, “Arlington GOP dismissive of criticism over age of candidate”.

    If you read the (brief) story, it tells of a GOP candidate for county board dismissing as “ludicrous” suggestions that he is too old for the job, and that Democrats must be desperate to resort to such attacks. Nowhere does it name any Democrat who supposedly said that, or say when and where it happened, and Google doesn’t turn up any earlier article with those facts.

    My guess is that this bozo made the whole thing up to try to manufacture a controversy. The county is reliably Democratic, and he’s running as an “Independent” who just happens to be endorsed by the local GOP, so he’s already established that he’s a fraud.

  112. 112
    Jewish Steel says:

    @Anoniminous: For this I shoot a little toy gun that pops out a flag that says “hooray?”

    @Omnes Omnibus: I have friends who ended up in Columbus GA. She’s black and he’s white. Academics, his first teaching gig out of grad school. Never have you met a couple happier to now be living in Toledo.

  113. 113
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jewish Steel: I was at Benning – just outside of C-bus, GA, for a total of 17 weeks (14, OCS; 3, Airborne School). What I can say about the town is that Bill Calley found a home and made a living there.

  114. 114
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    Who’s your favorite cool conservative?

    Otto von Bismarck. Or FDR.

    An ACTUAL conservative, who works to bring stability to society, not one of these Reaganite twits, who are all Ferengi-Pakled hybrids. “The spiritualization of finance”? WTF is that supposed to mean? That Mammon has a mystical side?

  115. 115
    Jewish Steel says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Ha! I’ll tell my friend that. I know he’ll appreciate it.

  116. 116
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Are you kidding? Nelson got his fucking arm blown off and stayed in command. That is seriously cool.

  117. 117
    Woodrowfan says:

    as others have noted, there are lots of dead conservatives who are now “cool” because they’re corpses. none are my favs though, as I still can’t stand the SOBs.

  118. 118
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jewish Steel: There were really nice strip clubs that were “officers only” as well.

  119. 119
    Villago Delenda Est says:


    She’s gotta be at least cool if not cold, living in Alaska and all.

    She’s moved to Arizona.

    Got a condo made of stone-a.

  120. 120
    Supernumerary Charioteer says:

    @Suffern ACE: “Youths should not read Water Margin; Elders should not read Romance of the Three Kingdoms.”

  121. 121
    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again) says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    And there’s the whole love affair with Emma Hamilton. Dude didn’t give a fuck if proper society thought it scandalous.

  122. 122
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Wellington exposed himself to fire in every battle he fought.
    The fact the he wasn’t hit doesn’t enter into it. During Waterloo, he actually wrote orders that used the future perfect tense. That is impressive.

  123. 123
    Crouchback says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:
    “Out on the road today,
    I saw a Dead Head sticker on a Cadillac
    A little voice Inside my head said,
    ‘Don’t look back. You can never look back.'”

    (Demonstrating I will never have hipster credentials because I quote Don Henley)

    This hipster capitalism, the idea that these businessmen are somehow being revolutionaries, goes back to the 1980s. It was a big part of PJ O’Rourke’s shtick, books like Megatrends, etc. You can even find articles from thirty years ago about how those smart young computer geeks are overthrowing the old Wall Street order – didn’t happen then, won’t happen now.

    A lot of the revolutionary jargon is to disguise the fact that the Silicon Valley businesses aren’t all that exciting at their base. Google and Facebook ultimately depend on selling information about their consumers to make money. Amazon is basically a virtual Wal Martn whose long term success depends on gaining a monopoly. And the Web was ultimately created by DARPA.

  124. 124
    Ruckus says:

    Do you only look at the downside of everything?

  125. 125
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Crouchback: And?

  126. 126
    Steeplejack says:

    What evidence that Nelson (or Pitt the Younger, for that matter) was a conservative? His military career kept him busy in what we would think of now as a technocratic way, and the only overtly political detail I remember from a biography a few years ago is that at some lull early in his career he considered running for Parliament as a supporter of Pitt.

    And Pitt, although a Tory, was a so-called “new Tory” who raised taxes to pay for the war against Napoleon and pushed (unsuccessfully) for Catholic emancipation. Doesn’t sound very “conservative” to me.

  127. 127
    John Revolta says:

    At the Battle of Copenhagen, Nelson was given orders to break off action.He put the telescope to his blind eye (which he had lost in another battle and said “I don’t see the signal!” He went on and won a decisive victory.

    How cool do you want it?

  128. 128
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @John Revolta: How does this make him a conservative?

  129. 129
    John Revolta says:

    @Steeplejack: Nelson was,among other things, a rabid believer in the Divine Right of Kings. You could look it up.

  130. 130
    Steeplejack (tablet) says:

    @John Revolta:

    So that alone makes him a conservative? Is, say, a devout Catholic who believes in papal infallibility automatically a conservative, even if she votes for Obama and supports the ACA?

  131. 131
    John Revolta says:

    It’s plenty enough for me.

    Although I’ll grant you this- Nelson never had a clunky rubber boot named after him.

  132. 132
    Ian says:

    No. The FSM told me, in a giant burning lasagna in the sky, that senior discount day at Fizzoli’s on Tuesday is in fact The Lords Day.

    As for cool conservatives, …. , mmmh, Bill Maher?

  133. 133
    Crouchback says:

    @Ruckus: The Web’s a very big deal – I see a lot of upside to it. But I think it’s kind of important to remember it owes as much or more to government than to self styled revolutionary capitalists. We’ve got a lot of shiny new toys and altogether too many con artists claiming they made them.

  134. 134
    Ruckus says:

    That’s nice but you didn’t answer the question.
    Governments have been responsible for lots of things, some good, some great, some shit. So what? Do you actually have a point?

  135. 135
    Bill B says:

    A lot of conservative “philosophy” is really 80s nostalgia, as in “the horrible Carter evil hippies were quelled by the rise of Reagan and snappy MTV beats”. I was always more of an “Eat A Peach” guy myself.

  136. 136
    The Other Bob says:

    @John Cole:

    I think we can now agree, that the only cool conservative, is a dead conservative?

  137. 137
    ThresherK says:

    @Bill B: I remember an actual MTV question to the “MTVer in the streets” from the 80s (mid 80s? no exact year, sorry):

    “Who wants to return to the liberalism of the 1960s?”

    (very few hands raised, no vocal support)

    Not a word about the patented “firehoses, police dogs and bullwhips” conservatism of the 60s.

    (My tastes are for English tenors fronting keyboard bands and Scottish tenors fronting guitar band. I have a lot of ’80s favorites, obviously.)

  138. 138
    trnc says:

    Who’s your favorite cool conservative?

    Any whose wikipedia entry has an entry in this format directly after his or her name: (January 5, 19xx – April 1, 20xx)

  139. 139

    Being an asshole was cool in the early 80s. In media, the difference between the bad boy hero and the villain was that there was some tiny spark of decency in the hero. He might, say, save a kitten between treating women like meat and anyone with brains or decency as a loser who was never going to get laid. Hey, he might even have loser friends! Sometimes this paradigm was a complained about, sometimes presented straight, sometimes softened until the asshole could totally be reformed until he was merely sarcastic and emotionally withdrawn, but that was the system. We’re dealing with the results right now, as the policies conservatives revert to when they’re afraid are the policies of extreme assholery.

  140. 140
    Robert Sneddon says:

    @John Revolta: Lord Wellesley never had a wrestling hold named after HIM.

  141. 141
    Crouchback says:

    @Ruckus: My point was that the kind of talk in the linked article has been around for decades. James Poulos thinks he’s writing something new, but wiith a few edits, “Can Heritage Foundation Posterboy Bono Save the GOP?” could have been written in the 1980s. So what passes for conservative cool is warmed over 1980s leftovers.

  142. 142
    Cheap Jim, formerly Cheap Jim says:

    @John Revolta: Was it Judge Jeffreys who they said ordered muffins after sentencing people to death? Whoever it was, that was pretty reptilian.

  143. 143
    dmbeaster says:

    @Violet: Palin pretty much lives in AZ

  144. 144
    dmbeaster says:

    @John Revolta: Wellington was pretty awful as a conservative in later life – as elitist, royalist and class-privliged as thry came then.

  145. 145
    joeyess says:

    Okay, just watched that guy’s pointless music video, read his piece, watched him on Maher and I didn’t see one thing cool about that guy at all…… he’s just another version of “what’s mine is mine, I got it all on my own, fuck you, you can’t have any of it unless you slip me your email addy and buy my record. Oh, and Obama sucks and this is a center-right country.” All of this, of course, gussied up in designer clothing and $100 haircuts.

    I’d love 30 minutes alone with that guy in a recording studio. Just to draw him out. We wouldn’t get one note laid down in protools.

  146. 146
    Cacti says:

    Edward Snowden.

  147. 147
    ellie says:

    I am so sorry. Alex P. Keaton, PJ O’Rourke, and Dennis Miller were never cool. You were just delusional.

  148. 148
    Ruckus says:

    Now that would have had some informative substance to it.

  149. 149
    chopper says:

    @John Cole:

    where reagan is, it’s the fucking opposite of cold.

  150. 150
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @chopper: In Dante’s Inferno. the ninth and innermost circle of hell is a frozen lake. The resemblance to winter in Wisconsin is, I believe, purely coincidental.

  151. 151
    Crouchback says:

    @Ruckus: Are you always this obnoxious? Did you really have that hard a time understanding my first post? Does your approach to politics ever persuade anyone or are you just jacking off?

  152. 152
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @raven: Not a dram of gratitude for the carpetbagging northeasterners and Jews (and in Atlanta, it’s carpetbagging Blacks, some of them may be Jews and northeasterners as well) who give GA and FL something resembling an economy and an ounce of self-respect these days. Jawjaw could still be Alabama East or South Carolina II, FFS.

  153. 153
    Another Holocene Human says:

    @MikeJ: That’s because standards have changed, and thank goodness. San Diego is a pretty racist place.

  154. 154
    Nanette says:

    The drummer for Velvet underground (I forgot her name) is a tea party member,. Bruce Willis, and Bill Murray, while a democrat has made some pretty conservative remarks.

  155. 155
    parsimon says:

    Who’s your favorite cool conservative?

    Josh Barro.

    I’m surprised that as far as I can see, from a Ctrl-F of this thread, that no one has mentioned him.

  156. 156
    Ruckus says:

    Dude, you made a completely senseless post, ranting like a libertarian.
    I asked for it’s meaning. You came back with nothing.
    Finally you answered my question.
    So no, it isn’t me. It really is you.

  157. 157
    Crouchback says:

    @Ruckus: Huh? How was I being libertarian?

Comments are closed.