Or me, for that matter. What fun we will have:
Fox News contributor and former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin will be launching her own digital video channel, tentatively called “Rogue TV,” a source familiar with the project told Capital….
Palin’s channel will feature video commentaries from the former Republican vice-presidential candidate, discussing current events and political issues….
“Think of it as a video version of her Facebook page,” the source said….
Wait.
I have to hear that again:
“Think of it as a video version of her Facebook page,” the source said….
Oh joy! Oh rapture! Television history in the making.
It will also have advice and guidance from Palin, such as tips for parents and recipes. There are also tentative plans to have subscribers engage in regular video chats with Palin.
My mom always told me that if I didn’t have anything nice to say…
Oh hell. Why not. Quick folks, tell me true: who among you wants to take parenting advice from Sarah freaking Palin, that model of continence and … hell, you fill in that blank.
Recipes, maybe. You never know.
Go read the all the hilarious goodness here.
BTW: Palin will go Rogue on TAPP — which is an online TV service founded by MSM types so beloved of the former half-term can’t-hold-a-job ex-governor who will now be able to serve word salad (with a side of bile) via the intertubes. That’s not exactly the penthouse of contemporary broadcasting. Online video is likely the way we’ll receive all our programming very soon. But for now Palin on “Rogue TV” is kind of like Nickleback doing a gig at the local motorcycle shop.
On the upside, we’ll be able to get some more metrics on the true reach of Palin’s grift. The article mentions it will cost $10/month to subscribe. That’s real money. Be interesting to see what Palin can actually draw at this point in her magnificent con.
And last — I’m so glad TBogg will have so much new material with which to give us all so much joy.
Image: B. W. Kilburn, The Idiot Monument, Monumental Park, Colorado 1877.
Davis X. Machina
For $10 a month, I expect subject-verb agreement.
Hell. I’m an elitist. I admit it.
Ruckus
@Davis X. Machina:
That’s some pretty high expectations, $10 isn’t what it used to be.
schrodinger's cat
Grandpa McCain must be so proud.
c u n d gulag
I’d like to see how many of those $10 monthly payments are coming from Liberal bloggers, so that they can mock her.
AGAIN!!!!
Hell, if I had a few ten-spots left at the end of the month, I’d pay for Charles Pierce and Ed at Gin & Tacos.
Betty Cracker
Just wanted to see that one more time.
And parenting advice, LOLWUT! Maybe she can line up Dinesh D’Souza for honest campaign finance tips and book Limbaugh as a diet guru.
Trollhattan
Jesus.
Mind=boggled. She’s still got it, baby, let’s get the band back together and go on tour!
IowaOldLady
@Trollhattan: I lost brain cells just reading that.
Citizen_X
No, that would be the establishment of BeagleTV, and the Shakira’s Ass Network.
Citizen_X
@Trollhattan: Woo-hoo! She’s doing her own writing!
Ripley
The return of freshly ground black people.
Bobby Thomson
Probably not the Penthouse, either, but that would probably be more lucrative with her
fapfan base.SiubhanDuinne
I would have sworn that Tapp was the name of at least one of Sarah’s kids or grandkids. If not hers, then one of the Mittster’s kids.
I would have been wrong.
Trig, Track, Tripp, and Tagg.
Trollhattan
@Citizen_X:
“Sarah(PBUH) unfiltered, as you’ve always loved her!”
Someone’s bound to cram her back in the Skinner box, but in the meantime we can enjoy the stream-of-unconsciousness.
shortstop
Alas, we do. I recall a Greta van Susteren tongue bath of a piece — “at home in Wasilla with Governor Palin” or some such shit — in which Sarah was adorning a row of moose hot dogs with cubes of Velveeta while opining on what’s wrong with our culture. It will not surprise y’all to learn this complicated recipe was too much for Ms. Palin to follow while talking at the same time. She had to keep pausing the cube-dropping while she gathered her thoughts.
Amir Khalid
This seems more of an open thread, so I’ll presume on Tom Levenson’s indulgence and repost this here.
Speaking of loons (I’m sorry to be going off-topic, but I’ve waited for hours and there hasn’t been a new open thread) The Uri Geller is claiming he has been invited to join the search for MH370, by some “substantial figure” in Malaysia whom he won’t name. I suspect he was really invited by Uri Geller.
Friends and family of MH370 First Officer Fariq Hamid dispute the Australian TV report that says he hit on female passengers. The friends and fam say Fariq is not like that at all, but rather a devout Muslim and a keen pilot.
Extending the search into the Indian Ocean means taking it into really deep waters, as deep as 7km. So far the search has been confined to the South China Sea, atop Asia’s continental shelf; the Gulf of Thailand where MH370 disappeared is less than 100m deep.
Gypsy Howell
Is “covet prayers” some kind of Talibangelicalism? is there an English translation for that?
Amir Khalid
@Citizen_X:
And saving Tina Fey the trouble.
BGinCHI
Roger Ailes is quaking in his support hose.
JPL
@IowaOldLady: Go to TBogg’s site and listen to the Katie Couric interview again. It’s a treasure of wordiness.
also,too.. Sarah is such a deep thinker, it’s difficult to decipher what she means. Someone needs to ask her what she means.
Cervantes
Ignore her.
scav
mmm, are these recipes for parents “(if older, they generally require long stewing”) or for parents (“poisonous if eaten by those without legitimate progeny in heternormative religiously blessed relationships”) . . .
boatboy_srq
@Ruckus: Subject-verb agreement gets sorted out by fourth grade. The bar isn’t very high.
“Rouge TV”. Wasn’t that the domain of the Sunday-morning
I’m broke so I’m grifting the rubesJeebus-needs-your-money preachers?Cassidy
For $10 a month I can get Fight Pass and watch all the UFC cards that FOX isn’t willing to air.
boatboy_srq
@Trollhattan: Something tells me one of the first recipes posted will be for word salad.
boatboy_srq
@Ripley: Silly Ripley. Black people aren’t ground: they’re pressed. Just like Cubans.
SiubhanDuinne
@Gypsy Howell:
That struck me, too. Seems like an odd way to use “covet.”
BGinCHI
If only those young urban men who suffer from a culture of laziness and being dark-skinned could tune into this channel they could turn their lives around and construct longer sentences with which to impress their homies with political discourse that outwits the lamestream media and those who would jack boot their tender tattooed necks stomping out their liberties.
GxB
In a society that can support professional eaters, psychics, pro gamers, and MBAs – this is, well, par for the course actually. Got to chase down that elusive “idiot” market segment. It’s high growth and shows little sign of slowing.
Poopyman
What is he going to hold us in, now? Or are you saying he’s going to hold us all in material?
I’d be a true bastard of an editor.
IowaOldLady
@SiubhanDuinne: Is there an unodd way for someone other than clergy to use covet in 2014?
schrodinger's cat
@Betty Cracker: Plus fashion tips from La Palin herself.
Poopyman
@BGinCHI: I’m sorry, you fell two prepositional phrases short of qualifying for the Sarah Palin ghostwriter gig.
BGinCHI
Liberal professor here. If anyone knows how to contact this guy, please tell him I will meet him in the parking lot of his choice any time he would like.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/austin-ruse-liberal-professors-shot-apology
Come on, tough guy.
BGinCHI
@Poopyman: All I can say is that I slept it all on the field.
C.V. Danes
There’s people who take her seriously that can afford to pay $10/month?
hilts
When it comes to Sarah Palin, “Horse’s Ass TV” is a more suitable name for this venture.
Villago Delenda Est
TEN BUCKS A MONTH?
You must be kidding me.
Of course, the drooling idjits who constitute her fan base will pony up for it, sure as shit.
SiubhanDuinne
@IowaOldLady:
Even clergy, I daresay, wouldn’t usually covet prayers.
(I will use “covet” ironically [albeit correctly] on occasion, e.g., “Ooh! I covet your scarf!”)
Villago Delenda Est
@BGinCHI:
Twits like that (and Bill Donohue) are why anti-Catholicism still has a solid foothold in this country.
IowaOldLady
@SiubhanDuinne: Yeah, irony aside, it’s like thinking it’s good to be infamous.
Villago Delenda Est
@schrodinger’s cat: Hell, you can get those by watching the working girls on the Sunset Strip.
Villago Delenda Est
@shortstop:
If MH370 did indeed crash and break up on impact, it will be easier to put it back together again than it will be for Sarah Palin to gather her thoughts in a kitchen.
Tom Levenson
@Poopyman: Not bastard being. Need better Englishings if in public writings of humorous material I am attempting.
Fix’t, in other words.
Villago Delenda Est
@SiubhanDuinne: Toffy, Terracotta, Timezone, Tent, Tortuga, and Teacup are the others?
Frankensteinbeck
@Tom Levenson:
The translation from the German not so easy as at first appears to be is!
Villago Delenda Est
@Tom Levenson: Master Yoda taught you well, young padawan.
Betty Cracker
@SiubhanDuinne: I think it’s a Talibangelical shibboleth — like “servant leadership,” which seems to mean “I get to boss you around while patting myself on the back for being humble” or “bend over.” I can never keep it straight.
Tom levenson
@BGinCHI: You hold him; I’ll hit him.
catclub
@Betty Cracker: Talibangelical shibboleth
prayer warrior
I think the lady in the JesusCamp video used the term.
raven
@Tom levenson: I’m in faculty support I’ll hold him!
Gex
Video version of her Facebook page should be interesting. I didn’t get the impression that she did much of the Facebook posting for herself. Harder to have lackeys do video for you. She might actually have to put some effort into this grift.
Keith
@Villago Delenda Est: She should charge the same amount as Angry Birds costs, but I don’t think she’d get the subtext.
sharl
@Gypsy Howell: Actually this question came up in comments at that TBogg link. Longtime (and very knowledgeable) commenter dsduryea addressed it over there:
Ruckus
@boatboy_srq:
Maybe fourth grade for most people but we aren’t talking about most people.
It obviously is a pretty high bar for her, she’s been pushed out of fourth grade a while ago.
Cervantes
@BGinCHI: Ruse yesterday:
Ruse today:
Ruse tomorrow, too, I’m sure.
BGinCHI
@Tom levenson: Either that or we force him to hit himself over and over.
BGinCHI
@Cervantes: I guess when your name is a synonym of “fake” and “lie” you are prone to that kind of thing.
It’s just his nature I guess. He probably comes from a culture of rural assholes whose only work is to judge others.
Thomas F
Would love to join in the two minutes hate here. But, the prospect of watching this crowd cheerlead TBogg’s (by now) trademarked misogyny against Sarah Palin and her daughters is a little too much to stomach. I suppose anything’s fair in love & politics, but spare me the sight of observing Tom Boggioni find increasingly colorful ways to call Palin a white trash c#nt and his daughters reckless sluts.
The Dangerman
What version of SPTV are we on now? If memory serves, 1.0 was her shooting moose or some such shit. SPTV 2.0 was her in a Winnebago looking for real Americans (curiously, all of them white). Is this 3.0? What dumbfuck would waste the bandwidth on this multiple time loser?
raven
@Thomas F: Way to get it out there again.
Cervantes
@BGinCHI:
It’s entirely possible. He claims to be descended from English folk who got here in the early 18th century.
BGinCHI
@Cervantes: Likely they were thrown out.
SatanicPanic
@boatboy_srq: Word salad followed by recipes for salted mixed nuts, fruitcake and home-made bologna.
Amir Khalid
I’ve wondered for years now, when do Americans finally get tired of Sarah Palin? I could eat a dictionary and shit more coherent prose than she utters. She’s not getting any easier in the eyes. She quit as governor out of sheer petulance, and hasn’t run for anything since. Right now, she’s a second or third tier TV personality. I have to wonder why political commentators and politics fans still find her so fascinating.
Citizen_X
@Thomas F: She shuts up about me, I’ll shut up about her, I promise. Until then, fuck off.
SatanicPanic
@Amir Khalid: “she pisses off the libturds!” That’s no even really true, but as long as her viewers think it is then she’ll be employed. Ask Ann Coulter.
muddy
@Villago Delenda Est:
I had a telemarketer/scam person call me on the phone to ask me to donate “one hundred to two hundred dollars”, not for SP’s re-election committee, but just to put my name on a petition to ask her to please run for Senate. It would admittedly be sweet to see her do that (popcorn!) but I’m not going to actually pay money for it.
I kept him on the line for a long time while I said more and more terrible things, shockingly overtly racist and misgynist stuff. I wanted to see where he might demur and draw a line. Of course there was no rock bottom to hit. He just kept asking for smaller amounts of money while agreeing with me.
Later I was relating this to 2 guys, it was meant to be an amusing story about punking a telemarketer, who very well could just be a pure scam artist and nothing to do with SP. They both freaked out because I was criticizing the wonderful SP and she could easily be elected to the Senate! I freaked out that they took her seriously, I knew they were righty but thought they took it more seriously. Apparently not.
One of the guys was someone I was involved with long ago, and I always had a soft spot for him, still found him cute and funny despite being done with it decades ago. It was remarkable to me, I was looking at him in amazement over this BS and suddenly I realized he was some random ratty old man and not even cute anymore. Funny how it came over him all of a sudden!
Trollhattan
@Thomas F:
[whistle] One-minute penalty for being too obvious! You only get one minute of hate, now.
Spend it wisely.
Phoning It In
The company’s website paints a picture of what to expect, with a word-cloud featuring topics like “paranormal,” “faith,” “relationships,” “fantasy sports” and “science.”
Which of these doesn’t belong?
Higgs Boson's Mate
@BGinCHI:
You and I both know that the cons are just tough around the mouth. Hell, I’m (An active) 65 years old and I could break him open like a cheap .410.
NotMax
Shaking down the marks is apparently the one thing she is capable of.
Which makes her (riffing on her penchant for overly cutesy ghostwritten wordplay) a marksist.
Bill in Section 147
@raven: Like when Marge Simpson asks Bart about Sunday School it gives him license to say Hell…a lot. I think I got his point before he got explicit but he was just paraphrasing or quoting so he is in the clear. Why cannot one be civil when one condemns the devil?
SiubhanDuinne
@Villago Delenda Est:
You forgot Twink, Twit, and Teeny.
Also, Too.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@NotMax:
You’re on time-out for that one, mister (Mostly because I’m jealous that I didn’t think of it.).
muddy
@SiubhanDuinne:
Ha!
Thomas F
@Citizen_X: Eh, she’s abhorrent and an embarassment – doesn’t mean she’s entitled to the arrant misogyny Tom Boggioni unleashes on her. And it certainly doesn’t justify the plain slut-shaming he showers on her daughter (e.g. http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2012/03/19/single-mom-waiting-for-her-presidential-booty-call/).
SiubhanDuinne
@Amir Khalid:
It really grinds me — way out of proportion to its actual importance — that her supporters constantly refer to/address her as “Governor.” (Yes, yes, yes, I know the tradition in the U.S. is to use the highest or last-held office as an honorific, but it seems to me Sarah forfeited that level of respect when she walked out halfway through her term.)
Bobby Thomson
@Thomas F: I’d give you a map to the point but I don’t think it would do you any good.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@SiubhanDuinne:
Palin is in negotiations with Kellogg’s. If the money’s right she will contrive to throw a litter of three; Snap, Crackle and Pop.
PurpleGirl
@Amir Khalid: I haven’t been following the story very closely but I feel so sorry for the families of the passengers and crew.
In other disaster news: It was a good thing the East Harlem explosion ocurred on Wednesday, Thursday was so cold and the winds were so high in the city it would have been even harder to handle the disaster and the people losing everything. Again, I feel sorry for the families of the dead and (still?) missing, as well as all the people who’ve lost their homes and belongings.
PurpleGirl
@SiubhanDuinne: Unless she meant “cover”, as in a father covers his daughter until he gives her away in marriage. Cover the prayers so they are reinforced in some manner.
Thomas F
@Bobby Thomson: There will always be a certain class of insecure people who confuse high snark and cheap irony as intellectual merits in & of themselves. I wish you nothing but good luck in your development.
orogeny
Palin is the reincarnation of Lonesome Rhodes.
feebog
@Thomas F:
Oh good grief, get a life. Bristol Palin is every bit the grafter her mother is, she just hasn’t had time to completely master the scams.
Thomas F
@fee bog: I don’t believe that, just because a woman is a grifter, or a hypocrite, or a fraud, that one may call her a c#nt or a slut (or euphemisms for such). I am not making an argument from sympathy here.
shelly
The Great Revival is just about to break!
*****
When these Tea-partiers start whining about ‘getting their country back’ and wishing for a time that never existed; they sound like Mama Rose insisting that vaudville is going to make a comback, any day now.
Villago Delenda Est
@Thomas F: The bimbo deserves all the vitriol that is slung at her. Every last bit. ESPECIALLY the vitriol that TBogg slings at her.
Thomas F
@Villago Delenda Est: I will condemn Sarah Palin without calling her a cunt, and I will criticize Dr. Ben Carson without calling him a nigger. I suppose that qualifies as self-righteous.
JustRuss
@Cervantes:
I’m guessing that translates to: “I strongly support the death penalty”.
Mnemosyne
@Thomas F:
@Thomas F:
And yet the only person calling Palin the c-word here is … you. Been saving that up for a while, have you?
Also, as you may find out soon, that’s usually one of Cole’s auto-ban words, especially if the offender uses it multiple times. Just so you’re prepared if you suddenly can’t get anything to post later tonight.
Cervantes
@Thomas F: You’ve led the horse to water.
Cervantes
@JustRuss: I have not heard him mention it — but he’s not someone to whom I usually devote much attention.
Rich (In Name Only)
And I’m guessing that Sarah Palin’s Facebook ghost writer Rebecca Mansour won’t be getting any overtime pay for this.
Pogonip
@shortstop: They really make moose hot dogs?
Why would you put cubed Velveeta on a hot dog? Just drape a half a slice of Kraft over it. That way the goo melts evenly.
Pogonip
@SiubhanDuinne: It is? Cool. I’m Acting Lead Clerk Pogonip! I held this prestigious office for three days, protesting throughout. This is arguably more work than Palin did during her entire half term.