Open Sports Thread: Free(dum) Agencery!

My new favorite SB Nation blogger, PFT Commenter (parodist, we hope), Explains It All for us:

… What is Free Agency?

Free Agency is when a player and his agent love each other very much, and they get together to try and break the hearts of all the inocent little kids and honest 40 year-old autograph collecting males who bought their jerseys. Basically the players got together and said “we need to find a way to quit and still get paid” and presto! Free Agency was born.

When a player decides that hes had enough of a certain fanbase literally paying his salary, he gets to test the free agent waters. Sometimes they strike out but sometimes they can convince Dan Snyder to give you $100 million dollars to do absolutley nothing…

What’s a Franchise Tag?

Its when a player gets so mad at his own team on account of they want to pay him the average of the most overpaid players at his position. They become literaly the only person on Earth who doesnt want to get paid more then $8 million a year to play football (a GAME) for a living. Heck, Id do it.

PFT Commenter Innovation Station:

I think that if players get a franchise tag they should have to get literaly tagged like a turtle on a nature show on there ears or through there necks for the duration of there tag year- you cant tell me that wouldnt be the coolest. It would help you identify players who return to the breeding grounds of free ageny over and over and would educate fans on the migration patterns of these “ME Agents.” Most NFL fans think that this is what actually happens but it actually isnt…

So, what sporting or other events are on the schedule for this evening?

48 replies
  1. 1
    raven says:

    Illinois Iowa. Tight game and I’m dying.

  2. 2
    raven says:

    And some ACC game.

  3. 3
    The Dangerman says:

    Clippers have won 6 in a row; Atlanta has dropped 13 of 14 and I think they are playing a back to back. Is this still considered a sporting event?

  4. 4
    🍀 Martin says:

    Paralympics are on. Never having seen them, we’re looking forward to something new.

  5. 5
    Alison says:

    MLS opening day! Hoping for a win and a new goal-scoring record :)

  6. 6
    billB says:

    AND the Oregon Ducks BBall team steal a final win from #3 Arizona.
    No where will you see a better example of smarmy elite ‘made’ players
    who know they are sliding right into the million dollar pro-contracts [ariz], and scrappy poor kids trying to escape a dim future as salesmen [ore] ! Shows to Go you, hustle and heart still count in this world!

  7. 7
    raven says:

    GO ILLINI!!!!!!

  8. 8
    NotMax says:

    Got the vehicle back from my mechanic after 3 weeks and looking forward to not begging a lift to the regular Saturday night gathering.

    In fairness, specifically told him “no rush” and to take all the time he needed to fit it in between his other customers as had no absolutely necessary need for it until the 10th of the month.

  9. 9
    lamh36 says:

    ICYMI, last Thursday, the White House taped their latest “In Performance” series for PBS. This series was titled “Women of Soul”. The performances included ole skool singers like Patti Labelle and Melissa Etheridge, but also newcomers like Jill Scott, Janelle Monae, Ariande Grande and last years winner from the Voice Tessanne Chin.

    The “headliner” was the Queen of Soul herself, Aretha Franklin. She performed twice, and her final song was Amazing Grace. There is a reason why she’s still the Queen, even with age, she still sounds damn good if you ask me…you can def hear the preachers daughter coming from her soul

    White House Series In Performance, Aretha Franklin – Amazing Grace

  10. 10

    Wiped out from day drinking at the beach. Beautiful day today.

  11. 11
    dr. bloor says:

    Yeah, when I look for the last beating heart of pure, amateur student-athletes in our society, I think University of Oregon.

  12. 12
    raven says:

    @lamh36: Do you know about this?

    Long-Lost Video of R&B Stars at 1989 Inaugural Is to Air

    Held in a cavernous convention center, it featured blues and soul royalty like Bo Diddley, Willie Dixon, Sam Moore, Carla Thomas, Percy Sledge and Dr. John. Yet the highlight was when President George H. W. Bush — sworn in just a day before — hammed it up onstage with Lee Atwater, his campaign manager, both with guitars in their hands and smiles on their faces.

  13. 13
    raven says:

    @efgoldman: WhatsaamattushwoshU.

  14. 14
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @dr. bloor: Division III, god damn it. I keep saying it, but no one ever listens.

  15. 15
    MikeJ says:


    MLS opening day! Hoping for a win and a new goal-scoring record :)

    Major League Scabs?

    Glad Seattle won, sad there were no real officials.

  16. 16
    raven says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: The Whitewater Warhawks!

  17. 17
    Joel says:

    It’s too bad the NBA gave the NCAA a lifeline by making the players spend a year as indentured servants.

  18. 18
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @raven: LU Vikings, bitch.

    @efgoldman: Fuck that sell out D-II shit. D-III is the way to be.

  19. 19
    cdmarine says:

    Free agency is a necessary, labor-friendly concept that prevents what amounts to involuntary servitude in professional sports leagues. The alternative may be more fun for fans and owners, but it’s unacceptable as far as labor practices go.

  20. 20
    Alison says:

    @MikeJ: I watch for the players, not the refs. *shrug*

  21. 21
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @cdmarine: On the original topic, you are correct. More parochially, I hope Green Bay and Sam Shields come to a quick deal.

  22. 22
    MikeJ says:

    @Alison: No game without a ref. I hate the idea of the league ripping off the workers.

  23. 23
    piratedan says:

    @dr. bloor: still congrats to them on the win, it’s not to say that Arizona has a formidable squad, they do, but that’s the beauty of college hoops, sometimes David does kick Goliath’s patootie; although to cast Oregon in that role is a bit of a stretch. Will see if Oregon has any juice on a neutral floor because they may still need a win in the Pac12 tourney to feel safe.

    Hoping that Burnsie will try not to gloat too much over his Devils victory… but congrats to him and his alma mater as well.

  24. 24
    piratedan says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: they did for nearly 10m a season for a 4 year contract…. kinda pricey…

  25. 25
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @piratedan: They signed him today? Awesome. Shields is worth the payday. GB has a lot of salary cap room and Shields was the #1 target to resign.

  26. 26
    Alison says:

    @MikeJ: Okay, sure. Me too. But again – that’s the league, not the players. I watch the games to support them, many of whom sure as shit ain’t making European-level salaries or anything and are just doing what they love within a system that is, SURPRISE, kind of fucked sometimes.

  27. 27
    Roger Moore says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Division III, god damn it. I keep saying it, but no one ever listens.

    This. Of course, I’m somewhat biased, being a former Div III “athlete”. I still have my letter jacket as evidence.

  28. 28
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Roger Moore: Sport? Me: rugby.

  29. 29
    Roger Moore says:


    I watch for the players, not the refs.

    And good refs are a lot less likely to insert themselves into the game unnecessarily.

  30. 30
    max says:

    They become literaly the only person on Earth who doesnt want to get paid more then $8 million a year to play football (a GAME) for a living.

    No. There are a number of other large burly men who would also like to get paid more. For destroying their brains and bodies.

    Heck, Id do it.

    Yeah, but the owners would only pay you to be a waterboy at best, and they’d pay you minimum wage (or less if they could get away with it), if that.

    So you back the owners, because the owners are such nice guys?

    [‘If you could get paid more, I’d be happy for you, dude.’]

  31. 31
    Roger Moore says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Swimming. Hurt my shoulder and haven’t gotten into a pool seriously since.

  32. 32
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Roger Moore: My dad swam ‘fly. He is weird. He also fenced. I did a bit of that as well. I have long arms relative to my height. Dad does not, yet he fenced. Like I said, he is weird.*

    *He is also awesome in a wide variety of ways that I do not want to go into right now.

  33. 33
    butler says:

    PFT Commenter (parodist, we hope)

    Just FYI, PFT Commenter is indeed a parody character. It was created by the writers at the NFL humor blog Kissing Suzy Kolber in order to mock the the mouth breathers who inhabit the comment sections under the news articles at, a demographic full of various forms of racism, sexism, anti-labor sentiment, etc.

  34. 34
    butler says:

    @max: Just so you know, the post quoted about is a parody of folks who hold these types of anti-labor views.

  35. 35
    Fuzzy says:

    @Roger Moore:Way back in the 60s we got a letter sweater. Big ugly wooly stinky sweaters.

  36. 36
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @efgoldman: No, I just really do admire the guy.

  37. 37
    Roger Moore says:

    By my day, the common apparel was a jacket with a wool body and leather sleeves, though there were also cheaper vinyl versions, at least when I was in High School. When I was in High School, they had different designs for boys (as I described) and girls (all wool with a zip apart hood that would lay flat on the back). There might have been one or two girls who got the boys’ style jacket, but a girl with the boy’s style was almost always showing off that her boyfriend was an athlete. At Caltech, there weren’t enough women athletes to justify a distinct style, so everyone got the leather sleeve style. I get the impression that the distinct styles have gone away and everyone wears the leather sleeved style now.

  38. 38
    Roy G. says:

    What’s a Franchise Tag?

    Its when a player gets so mad at his own team

    Really? Please tell us which players own their team.

  39. 39
    ruemara says:

    Halfway done with my video on the drought impact on wetlands and wildlife, just need some pickup shots. I decided to break, since my timer on the NAS shuts down at a set point so I don’t work all day on the weekend. And then I edited a project I did for a friend to teach her how to use cauliflower to make sushi and pizza. I am liking this software. Smooth, nice integration and the export wasn’t too bad. Of course, taking nearly 25 minutes to upload to youtubes is a pain. Can’t play WoW. I think I’ll go out early and hunt down the turkey or peahen flocks.

    um, sports. yay! Go some sort of team from somewhere!

  40. 40
    Omnes Omnibus says:


    um, sports. yay! Go some sort of team from somewhere!

    That was kind of snotty and really unexpected coming from you.

  41. 41
    Little Boots says:

    oh, come on you goobers. somebody come upstairs and adopt a damn dog already.

  42. 42
    ruemara says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: You can perceive it as such, however since it was a sports thread, I felt it was good to cheer for a team, despite being a bit OT. But I do not actually follow any and so, cheered for all.

  43. 43
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @ruemara: In that case, my error and my apologies.

  44. 44
    ruemara says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: No worries, it’s the internet. Plus, I have a “created something nice” high and you have a good reputation.

  45. 45
    🍀 Martin says:

    Well, much credit to Dubya. Thanks to his Iraq adventure we have an abundance of amputees to represent us at the paralympics.

    Protecting American exceptionalism in all of its forms.

  46. 46
    Suffern ACE says:

    I would think owners and especially GMs and presidents of football operations would love free agency. It’s what gets them in the papers and makes them household names. Before free agency, who really cared what the GM did?

  47. 47
    Cervantes says:

    @🍀 Martin: Er … Good grief?

  48. 48
    billB says:

    You guys equate Oregon with the mega-schools because Uncle Phil built us some nice buildings, but we do not get the huge gifted athlete ‘made’ elite studs that go right to the pros. Both our Football and BBall teams are made up of scrappers that Alabama[ftbl] and Arizona[bball] laugh at. FYI I give you J. Lloyd, who at 5-10, no one in college hoops would take, and he has the heart of a warrior, he killed Arizona yest. with speed and cunning. Oregon has had success with innovative coaching and great heart from under-sized kids.

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