"Host" — isn't that also what they also called the human incubators in the Alien movies? http://t.co/UhRSoqyWYC
— billmon (@billmon1) February 24, 2014
State Senator Steve Martin: “I’m not going to assume a right to kill it just because the child’s host (some refer to them as mothers) doesn’t want it.”
Next in the lineup, George Pee Bush, per Alex Pareene in Salon:
George Prescott Bush, son of Jeb and grandson of George Herbert Walker, is running for Texas land commissioner. Next stop: the White House! As long as he manages to get himself elected land commissioner, that is. It may be tougher than he anticipated, which is to say it may actually require more than simply wanting the job and being named Bush…
… As Texas Monthly’s Paul Burka pointed out, Bush committed to running for land commissioner primarily because it seemed “the path of least resistance.” He filed his papers to run for office well before finally deciding on which one, making it all the more obvious that he was just searching for the easiest possible route to bigger things….
But the lengths to which Bush is going to avoid saying anything interesting might be a slight sign of concern about his political ability. Sometimes a successful political scion seems like exactly the sort of person who should run for office right up until they do so and then open their mouths, revealing themselves to be idiots, completely unable to articulate reasons for existing at all, let alone reasons for anyone to vote for them. Bush’s strategy seems to mainly involve not allowing anyone to give him the opportunity to embarrass himself by having to speak extemporaneously or answer difficult questions about policy or Republican politics. Not that I’m saying George P. Bush is secretly an idiot! He just might be, and he seems intent on maintaining the mystery…
Of course, Sean “Ten Million Dollar LotR Wedding” Parker, Admiral of the Douche Flotilla, is not about to let his throne be usurped. What he lacks in (overt) political content he makes up in choice of opponent, deciding to take both ValleyWag and the NYPost to task. Per NYMag:
In an email rant to the New York Post, Parker compared Gawker Media/Valleywag publisher Nick Denton to “Joseph Goebbels’ annoying little shitzu [sic]” and then reused the ill-advised metaphor to hit “Page Six”:
“You’re always going to be less irritating and unfortunately much, much easier to sue since you don’t have the luxury of operating your super-villain lair out of some tin pot banana republic like the Cayman Islands. [Gawker recently responded to a suit from Quentin Tarantino claiming the company was based in the Cayman Islands.] When compared to the ferocity of Goebbels’ fleet of diminutive attack dogs, Page Six is now the slow, soft, fluffy, methodical and even sometimes — wait for it — accurate NY gossip rag. If Denton is Goebbels’ shitzu [sic], then that makes you Murdoch’s dobermin [sic] pincher [sic], politely sleeping by the fire for most of the day and only occasionally waking up to bark when the doorbell rings.”…
***********
Apart from being grateful that we’re not notorious public idiots, what’s on the agenda for the evening?
Baud
So can we call him The Jerk?
greennotGreen
You know what else has hosts? Parasites. I wonder how healthy it is for a child to be hated even in the womb. I wish that all children could be born wanted, loved, and as healthy as possible, even if that means that I, a childless woman past child-bearing years, have to pay more taxes for birth control and prenatal care. I’m sorry Republicans don’t share that vision.
jenn
As another example of douchecanoes, may I present the Arizona Republicans who just voted for that craptastic discrimination bill, and are now asking Brewer to veto the legislation that they just passed! Why didn’t you just vote ‘no’ a few days ago?!
Gex
They spend so much time blowing smoke about families and mothers. This will really make moms feel good – to be called hosts. And we’re still in the outreach phase where the GOP is trying to reach demographics other than old white men are we? Wow, they are shitty at outreach.
The thing that’s pissing me off tonight is that I stream Netflix over a provider that degrades service for streaming, yet I pay the same rates as Netflix customers who just got guaranteed better service thanks to Netflix using some of my money to pay off Comcast. Are they going to pay off all ISPs or are they going to offer discounts to people who they relegate to second class customer status?
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
I’m quite grateful not to be a notorious public idiot. It’s tough enough being a private idiot, which will be the end state for all of us. As a college friend said: “The more I learn, the less I know. It’s good to know that total ignorance is a convenient lower bound.”
Roger Moore
“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.” –variously attributed
A fool and his money are soon
partedelected.Jim, Foolish Literalist
outreach and coamalition building
Roger Moore
@jenn:
They want the bill dead, but they don’t want their fingerprints on the murder weapon.
Thoughtcrime
@Baud:
…call him Shithead.
Ruckus
@jenn:
You know of course that they did this to take advantage of their stupid base. They get credit for the bill, the gov gets the (dis)credit for vetoing. They probably don’t expect the conservative press to report their idiotic process.
Mnemosyne
@greennotGreen:
Now I’m wondering if he’s trying to parallel an argument that I’ve seen on the pro-choice side since I have heard people say that an unwanted embryo is basically a parasite. Like, Hah, if you consider that embryo a parasite, that just makes you the host, how you like me now?
Might be giving him credit for too much cleverness, though.
WaterGirl
@Baud: hahahaha
Mike in NC
They still can’t get over Cooch losing, can they?
Mnemosyne
@jenn:
Apparently, the same thing happened in Kansas as the Chamber of Commerce went, Oh, shit, we’ll have to pay employees to not do their jobs if they have a conscience claim! Kill the bill! Kill the bill!
Baud
@Thoughtcrime:
A hostfucker.
Litlebritdiftrnt
As Imani tweeted earlier in the day if the woman is a host does that make the fetus a parasite? Like a tape worm? In which point the woman has every right to rid her body of the “parasite”, methinks these people are not thinking these stupid statements through.
At what point does every right thinking woman on the planet tell the Republican Party to go fuck itself? Because if you are going to tell me that my entire purpose in life is to incubate a parasite then, you know, I might just tell you that you are never going to get my vote, period.
WereBear
So they are just like the Catholic Church? Once a woman becomes pregnant, the future child supercedes her?
SiubhanDuinne
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Most of the outrage I’ve seen regarding this story has to do with Mapp’s use of the derogatory term “wetbacks.”
While that is fully reprehensible, I can’t help noticing that he’s calling for the wholesale murder of a specific ethnic group. Where I come from, that’s called “genocide.”
NotMax
Once again (and brickbats to you, Mr. Pareene, for swallowing the bushwa – pun intended), it is George P. G. Bush.
Would you refer to ‘Poppy’ as George H. Bush? I think not.
Compare, for example, the Wikipedia page today to it a year ago (before he filed an intention to run) to confirm the whitewashing (term chosen deliberately), including even the alteration of his name at birth.
What does it say about someone that he is eager and willing to be party to deceit about his own name (and by extension, its connection to his heritage)?
Baud
@WereBear:
Invasion of the Body Snatchers is not just a movie — it’s GOP dogma.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
http://www.salon.com/2014/02/24/republican_lobbyist_is_drafting_legislation_to_ban_gay_athletes_from_the_nfl/
NotMax
Correction, and my error above – he did file his intention to run before the page was altered.
IowaOldLady
Just got email that I’ve won another award for writing I did as an academic. That’s nice, though really it should have gone to someone who’d benefit by being able to show it to their university and get something for it. Why won’t anyone send me nice news about my fiction?
LanceThruster
I guess sperm gestation bins was too long.
Thoughtcrime
@Mnemosyne:
Great singles bar opening line.
Baud
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Please let that happen.
WereBear
@IowaOldLady: Congrats!
It seems to be our fates sometimes. Barbra Streisand wanted to be a feted actress. Johnny Depp dreamed of being a rock star. Richard Nixon wanted to known as a man of peace.
WereBear
@LanceThruster: in a just world, he would never find a woman willing to sleep with him ever again.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Baud: I’m trying to guess the five: Cruz, Cornyn, Vitter, Lee and… Tim Scott? Rubio? one of the WY or ID non-entitites?
Baud
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
I don’t know. So many wackos to choose from.
IowaOldLady
@WereBear: That’s true, and I’ve been lucky in my academic life. Lucky in general, I think I’d say.
Thanks for the good wishes.
p.a.
@Baud: too mild. He’s a hostfucker.
MikeJ
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: The DC madam, in whose logbook his telephone number was found?
Nah, madams are a lot more tolerant.
NotMax
@Jim, Foolish Literalist
Nanny state! Too much regulation! Keep big government’s hands out of busin – - -
Look! Over there! Gayzzzzzz!
Garbo
They seem to be reading The Handmaid’s Tale as an instruction manual.
I think we can “thank” folks like Ted Nugent for removing the barriers to speaking their minds. Legitimate rape, hosts, wetbacks, mongrels…yeah, that’s what we thought you thought.
WereBear
If so, Ted has actually performed a public service. Truly, the Force works in unexpected ways.
p.a.
@Litlebritdiftrnt: Actually, in some ways it can be thought of that way. Saw a PBS (Nova maybe?) that explained that there is a chemical struggle between fetus and mother. One very serious prenatal condition occurs when the fetus overwhelms the mother’s defenses and causes dangerously high blood pressure. The fetus is trying to chemically ensure adequate nutrition by increasing the, well, host’s bp. The mother has her own defenses to maintain a healthy equilibrium, but sometimes they are overwhelmed. Forget the name of the syndrome and can’t remember anything about the exact chemical processes.
dmhlt
Where’s the banjo and arrow through his head?
Steve Martin was obviously a LOT funnier in his earlier years.
PopeRatzo
Since we’re nominating douchecanoes, is it acceptable to include the NSA official who came up with “The 4D’s, Deny/Disrupt/Degrade/Deceive”?
https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2014/02/24/jtrig-manipulation/
Or is it tacky not to wait until there’s a Republican in the White House?
From the article:
Pogonip
I recently read that the average American produces 410 pounds of poop per year. Our politicians really are full of $hit.
Roger Moore
@Litlebritdiftrnt:
At some point, you just have to conclude that the ones who still vote Republican aren’t right-thinking. And do remember that there are plenty of women who are past child-bearing age who are more than happy to make life as miserable for today’s women as it was for them. “I had to put up with crap, so everyone else should have to,” is an awful philosophy, but it’s a sadly popular one.
PurpleGirl
@greennotGreen: This. My first thought was host… parasite. I agree with your whole comment completely.
steverino
Not to defend the sentiment, but looking at the whole quote from the link I think he’s trying to snark: You pro-choicers look on the fetus as a bunch of cells and so depersonalize the procedure that you may well call the parent a “host”, but some people (like me, S. Martin) call them “mothers.”
Richard Grant
“Mom? I just felt like calling. Thank you for being my gestational host.”
Baud
@PopeRatzo:
Don’t wait. No one is going to care about this issue if there is a Republican in the White House.
NotMax
@Roger Moore
Also too, the yet remaining institutionalization in some (thankfully fewer) quarters of a retrograde, parochial mindset as shown in Giant.
“We’re talking about politics […] This is men’s stuff.”
The Dangerman
Could be worse than hosts; could have called them client servers.
jl
@steverino:
It is difficult to know what the man meant by what he said.
I think the quote illustrates an attempt at ironic sarcasm, except that the point is not clear to the listener, at least not to me. But the speaker sneeringly spits it out as if it the point were necessarily and blindingly obvious. This phenomenon is seen in several places and span ideological boundaries. I remember a lot of it from maladjusted high school students, opinion pieces in college newspapers, and it may even occur in blog comments.
So, I guess this Martin guy thinks he knows what the point and meaning is, but I don’t. I wonder whether he think the pregnant woman is the host, or he accusing a person like me of thinking the woman is the host. But it makes no sense for me to think that, unless he means to imply that anyone who is not fanatically anti-abortion thinks of the fetus as a parasite. But who thinks of the fetus as a parasite.
And what does anyone care whether this Martin assumes the right to do anything? I someone trying to force him to become pregnant or an abortionist, or both?
So, I don’t get it, but maybe I am slow.
Anyway, is there a single word or phrase that summarizes that kind of misfired zinger? Sophomoric is too broad.
Roger Moore
@WereBear:
When I was a small boy in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as we sat there in the warmth of the summer afternoon on a river bank, we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him that I wanted to be a real major league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he’d like to be president of the United States. Neither of us got our wish. –Dwight Eisenhower
Shana
@dmhlt: The good Steve Martin occasionally comments over at Charlie Pierce’s blog. Can’t wait to see his comment if/when Charlie writes about this.
Betsy
Dipshit Bobby Jindal erupts at White House
(volcano pun intended)
http://www.wral.com/obama-looks-to-governors-for-help-with-economy/13422561/
ranchandsyrup
Packing for trip to Austin for some legislative shenanigans. I’m hitting up Franklin BBQ with some Austin buddies. EXCITED.
jl
@PopeRatzo:
‘ Since we’re nominating douchecanoes, is it acceptable to include the NSA official who came up with “The 4D’s, Deny/Disrupt/Degrade/Deceive”? ‘
Did the feds ever do this? Was BJ blog an object of their attention? If so, did it work and has this blog been neutralized? Or did we retire several waves of trolls into psychotherapy and mental institutions?
NotMax
@The Dangerman
Or worse yet, used the characterization of womb squatter’s rights. “Possession is 9/10 of the law.”
jl
@Betsy: Sounds like they bipartisan happy family time took a turn for the worse. Ukrainian schizmati’tude crosses the pond, just for one joyful few moments.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Betsy: was it six, eight months ago that Jindal’s path to the White House was being the Reasonable Republican, telling his fellow travelers they had to stop being the “stupid party”. Now he’s going full metal Palin? Good luck, Bobby.
Anne Laurie
@steverino: Snark, there’s another dangerous tool that should be kept out of the hands of clumsy idiots — if only for the protection of innocent bystanders!
Mnemosyne
@jl:
There’s always some douchecanoe who has to try and draw our attention away from the Republicans. Because a woman’s right to abortion has nothing to do with privacy, don’t’cha know, so we all have to redirect our attention to the real privacy violations suffered by dudebros.
Omnes Omnibus
@PopeRatzo: I am not sure whether the party affiliation of the US president matters all that much to a British program.
PurpleGirl
@p.a.: Do you mean eclampsia? That is a problem for the mother involving gestational high blood pressure. It can and has killed women (which, of course, means the fetus dies too)..
Garbo
@PurpleGirl: Not if she can be kept alive on a respirator. That way she shuts her yap and does what she was made to do.
Ken
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Can’t be a question of morality, since every year people make full fantasy teams using only NFL players who’ve been convicted of felonies in the past twelve months.
Suffern ACE
So they’re running on Abortion, the Mexican peril, and Obamascare again, just like 2010. Gosh, I hope someone pulls out “Ground Zero Mosque”. Then I can relive 2010 – Only this time, I don’t have to wait until May! Yay!
Suffern ACE
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: @Ken: Who the hell is this guy? And who is paying him? If he’s lobbying “for free”, and he can only muster 5 votes in the Senate, who in their right mind would hire that douche to lobby for them?
J R in WV
These guys seem so transparent to me, and the rest of us here on the BJ blog. I just am taken aback at how they aren’t shouted down at every appearance by the women in the crowd!
How come any woman puts up with this kind of thing? Can they possibly believe that the Rs don’t mean to attack their own privacy and control over their own body?
Because it’s pretty obvious to me that they fully intend to shut all women into a little child-bearing box and keep them there.
Manyakitty
@WereBear: @WaterGirl: Since this is an open thread, I thought I’d share a small victory with you. As you recall, I’ve been working on this operant conditioning program with my cats. I started it just over a week ago.
-I play a triangle before I feed them. They’ve been hiding at the sound. Tonight, I stacked some metal pans and I guess it made a similar sound. Within seconds, all three were gathered around the food bowl. Of course, they got treats. Progress!!!!
Manyakitty
@IowaOldLady: Congrats! It’s still a success, and evidence of your flexibility as a writer.
mclaren
This state senator must be made of Copper, Nitrogen, Terbium and Silver.
Cu N Tb Ag
MJ
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
This same lobbyist was also a client of the D.C. Madam, so apparently his morals aren’t super-tight. His bill will never pass, but the fact that Republicans can commit all sorts of asshattery and illegal acts and never pay any price for it is getting ridiculous.
AxelFoley
@Garbo:
Garbo Talks!
Sorry, I had to. ;)
Uncle Cosmo
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:”In a separate interview with the San Antonio Express-News on Friday, Mapp defended his remarks saying wetback is as “normal as breathing air in South Texas.”
Look at the bright side here–if a border town like El Paso ever gets an NFL franchise, the nickname (far-)writes itself…
And BTW & FTR, “Admiral of the Douche Flotilla” is at least one rank too high for Sean Parker. Commodore is more like it…emphasis on the “commode” part…
bjacques
George P.G. Bush looks like Saif al-Islam Gaddafi.
You can bring this young man’s political career to a mercifully swift end, or you can turn the page.