Perhaps this is a silly personal pet peeve, and lord knows it’s the least of Politico’s sins. But if I see this headline, I want to read an account of Sarah Palin flooring Peggy Noonan with an uppercut to the jaw. (It would also be cool if Noonan rose up from the mat, kneed Palin in the cooch and executed a pile-driver.)
That’s what “hit” means, not opening up a rarely closed piehole and letting more stupid dribble out. I also hate the term “baby bump,” but in defense of those who use it, there aren’t that many short, snappy substitutes. The same cannot be said of “hit” used in the context above: insults, taunts, heckles, jeers, etc. — all better choices, Mr. Byers.
If you were Language Emperor, what common expressions or usages would you banish from the English language?
PigInZen
“At the end of the day…”
“Going forward…”
Anything using “synergies” to refer to business practices.
Schlemizel
I’m old so the list is long:
“me and him went”
“whatev’s”
“LOL”
those are just the top couple, there are many old
Baud
Violent rhetoric to describe political disagreement is the norm. Jon Stewart mocked it a couple of years ago.
What was this spat about? Whether Bush or Reagan was America’s Greatest President?
scav
@PigInZen: “business practices” do rather provide a thick and easily accessible vein of phrases to bulldoze into the pit of damnation.
tbone
It is what it is.
Thlayli
“Double down” is a blackjack term, for a move you make when you have an advantage. You’re increasing your bet because the odds are in your favor.
I would ban its use as a shortcut for “when you’re in a hole, dig deeper.”
Baud
I’d ban “Sarah Palin” and “Peggy Noonan.”
eric
anyways
monies
JPL
No shit! Although it is appropriate sometimes.
@Baud: Is it possible to ban anyone who uses the term anti-christ?
Baud
@JPL:
That’s exactly the type of thing the anti-Christ would want.
Jim C
“arguably”
Usually used as a stipulation to get to the writer’s main point, I grate at some of the more arguable claims that they want stipulated simply to make some point. “Bill Mumy, arguably one of the greatest child actors in history, yadda yadda yadda …” All apologies to the kind and decent Mr. Mumy, but the author might need a better platform to launch their point. Or spend some of their 800 words or less arguing why they make such a claim.
Watch for the lazy “arguably.” See how often you want to argue with them.
Elmo
@tbone:
No, that one I find useful. It’s a shorthand way of explaining to self-involved drama-queen junior managers under me that the world is not going to either remake itself to their preferences or suddenly change recent history because its embarrassing.
If you’re embarrassed by your mistakes, own up to them quickly, because they aren’t going to get any easier to discuss with age.
Mr. Prosser
“Back in the day.”
Suffern ACE
I would have gone with ‘taps’ if I wanted eyeballs.
scav
Must admit, I’m also rather tired of the proverbial bus with people entangled in its undercarriage. More because it’s lazily over-used along the lines of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons but without the underlying robust quality.
Baud
I’d also ban all variations of the following statement from bosses to employees:
“Be grateful you’re not in my shoes.”
eric
I hope never to hear “school shooting” again, but that just wouldnt help the gun manufacturers
eric
“when you get to be my age…”
eric
@scav: wow, throwing the Four Seasons under the bus, just to make a cheap point.
maya
fetus fart
ShadeTail
In nerd circles, I’d make using “fanboy” a crime punishable by life imprisonment without access to your nerd stuff.
In general circles, “irregardless” and “I could care less” need to go. Also, white people using black slang.
Ol'Froth
I’d ban “same difference” unless its being used in mathematics.
Stella B.
“Holistic”. What the hell does that mean? In fact anything “istic” is questionable.
gogol's wife
“best practices” (spoken by an administrator)
“swap out” when there’s nothing wrong with the words “substitute for” and “replace with”
“incredibly” used in student papers to mean “sorta”
piratedan
fuhgeddaboutit
and synergizing your paradigms
Calming Influence
Hearing “What can I do you for?” gives me temporary Tourette’s.
Steeplejack (tablet)
If I never saw “also, too” on this blog again, that would be nice. It was mildly humorous the first 10,000 times. Now it just means Palin has burrowed into your brain like a virus—mad cow disease, say. Think about that.
gene108
Make IRREGARDLESS a word!
EDIT: I’m tired of grammar snobs saying Irregardless isn’t really a word. It should be proper word.
Also, AIN’T should be a proper word too.
If people know what the words mean they shouldn’t be excluded from proper use.
gogol's wife
“Can I help who’s next?”
BudP
“some say” or “some people say”
“the simple fact of the matter is … “
Ken
What Terry Pratchett called “wallpaper words”: clearly, obviously, certainly when they’re used to wallpaper over a big hole in your argument. As TP said, when you see one of those, stop a moment and think – odds are the assumption is not clear, obvious, or certain.
gogol's wife
@Steeplejack (tablet):
For me that one has become part of the language. It ain’t going away.
eric
@ShadeTail: word!
Mark C
Carefully Curated (and I usually like alliteration)
Baud
Either “flammable” or “inflammable.” Don’t care which.
Bob
May I ban all headlines at Huffington Post?
eric
@gogol’s wife: like the way “they” has become a singular gender neutral pronoun
The Other Chuck
“Campaign”
Jont
I’d add all variations of this sort of thing. “Slam,” “eviscerate,” “slap in the face,” “under the bus.” NO. BAD.
Cermet
This is, without any doubt, the worst not completely offensive word in all of english (unlike that certain racist name for darker skin colored (really, your spell check want’s the UK spelling!?) people – that’d be my first pick if racist names are to be selected): nerd.
These smart and hard working kids/teens/young adults are our best and brightest as well as being our best hope to improve human kind and what do people call the very best of our youth – nerds! That needs to be removed as well as that other word (ok, I picked two.)
David in NY
@ShadeTail:
If enforced, that would eliminate about 95% of all slang used by white people. For example, “cool” would be entirely gone, which would wipe out a high percentage of white slang right there. From the Online Etymology Dictionary: “Slang use for ‘fashionable’ is 1933, originally Black English; modern use as a general term of approval is from late 1940s, probably from bop talk and originally in reference to a style of jazz; said to have been popularized in jazz circles by tenor saxophonist Lester Young.”
Baud
Polar vortex!
SRW1
@Baud:
Na, goes back to 2008 when Peggy kindda called candidate Palin a nincompoop. There are two things Sarah’s good at: she can see Russia from her house, and she can bear a grudge.
Xecky Gilchrist
what common expressions or usages would you banish from the English language?
“sexytime”
“feature, not a bug”
gene108
Incomplete.
When I was in the fifth grade, I had a teacher say she wanted the homework “in complete sentences”. I swore she said “incomplete”, so I went out of my way to do my homework in sentence fragments. My arguments on following her instructions of writing “incomplete” sentences didn’t help my grade.
The Other Chuck
@gene108: I recently found myself using the word “cromulent” without irony.
Keith P
“Person rocks Group”
“Person A blasts Person B”
scav
@Calming Influence: Can we keep one swell foop though? Hardly anyone seems to remember what a fell swoop really means anymore in its constituent parts. At least the swell foopiness variant is very clear about the probably isn’t going to happen that way use of the general concept.
Baud
@David in NY:
Maybe a waiting period then.
pcpablo
Slam. I think it’s a fox contrivance. ie: PALIN SLAMS OBAMA! or, CHRISTIE SLAMS CRITICS!
MattF
How about using ‘divisive’ to mean ‘disagrees with me.’
Amir Khalid
“Sarah Palin hits Peggy Noonan” — that headline is so Dynasty. “Quit Shit Hits Lit Twit” is so much punchier, but it’s also very Variety.
Were I to become Maharaja Bahasa Inggeris, I would banish from my realm those who think the noun of “admonish” is “admonishment” and not “admonition”; speak of “n-month anniversaries” (an anniversary is the passing of a whole year, goshdamnit!) or “n-year anniversary” (redundant! You say “the nth anniversary”); or use any expression characteristic of MBA-speak; gripe about the nouning of verbs or the verbing of nouns (way too late for that now).
I’ve got other peeves too, but that’ll do for a start.
R-Jud
I’m well tired of “Really, x? Really?” and “So that just happened”.
David in NY
@Cermet: Slightly OT, but at my niece’s kid’s elementary school in techie Washington (Boeing-MS territory) they had a “dress like a nerd day.” Her husband called the school and asked when they were going to have “slut” and “jock” days (he claimed, he did; I think he just told them it was a terrible idea, he and his wife are both engineers, etc.).
My theory about American education is that it’s lousy because people don’t really believe in education, as evinced by their disdain for smart kids and glorification of jocks.
vtr
To “print out” or “print off” instead of “print.”
The ridiculous “sign off on” instead of “sign.”
To begin the answer to every question, “So…” “So” is the new “Ummm.”
Did anyone suggest “at the end of the day”?
Baud
@MattF:
Oh, that reminds me. I hate when ”silenced” is used to mean ”disagreed with.”
jeffreyw
It goes without saying that the synergies some people say they see in this proposal have merit.
Ultraviolet Thunder
I don’t want to see the news media referring to a criminal suspect as a ‘shooter’. It sounds like they’re trying to affect a military or law enforcement point of view. The term is compact and efficient but too much like specialized jargon to be used by the media.
My brother is ranting agains ‘mageddon’, ‘pocalypse’ and ‘palooza’ today. Because snow.
scav
@vtr: “At the end of the day?” At the very beginning of the day.
Gorgon Zola
“quite literally”
“wait for it”
“amirite”
“because [omits preposition] X”
“This.”
Anything written by Maureen Dowd.
Gorgon Zola
@Ultraviolet Thunder: Holy shite you were employing one my pet peeve expressions while I posting, wait for it, my list of pet peeves.
SinnedBackwards
“literally” when used to mean “figuratively”
“unique” when used to mean “unusual”
“problematic” when used to mean “causing problems” rather than “leading to uncertainty”
“trolley” when used to mean any vehicle other than those running on overhead electricity
Ah, what a rich vein we have to mine here!
ShadeTail
@David in NY: What’s your point?
inventor
As an engineer, I hate the use of “impact” to mean “effect”. Impact is the collision of two or more bodies in space. The collision did not have an impact, the collision was the impact and it had an effect on the bodies being impacted.
Ultraviolet Thunder
@Gorgon Zola:
I know. It was intentional. I get that it annoys some people but ‘because X’ is useful and somewhat recognized as valid emerging grammar. Descriptivism FTW.
Higgs Boson's Mate
The phrase “The American people,” should be forever banished. Those who use it try to imply that they’re speaking for the American people. Actually, “the American people” for whom they’re speaking are generally the chorus of voices inside their own heads.
Keith P
People saying “try and do something”, ESPECIALLY when it’s a news site or other edited work. (it’s supposed to be “try to do something”).
And yes, I also hate when people use “literally” to refer to something that isn’t literal, like Lindsey saying “the world is literally about to blow up”. If you want to see a world literally blow up, watch Man of Steel. Other than that, it ain’t literal.
David in NY
@Baud: Heh.
Rex Everything
“Hoodie”
“Nuff said.”
Any use of “beg the question” that doesn’t connote an actual petitio principii
“Seamless”
“…at worst.” This requires some explanation: When you say “that argument is moronic at best,” you’ve said enough. You don’t need to go on to add what it is “at worst”; to do so always renders your point rhetorically weak (e.g “moronic at best, and disingenuous at worst”—you’ve just set a limit on how bad your opponent’s argument can stink. If you must provide a contrast, say something like “…and probably specious.”)
Higgs Boson's Mate
@jeffreyw:
I’m seeing a new paradigm take shape.
Ultraviolet Thunder
Oh, and politicians saying ‘dollars’ when they mean money or funding. Always makes me think of stacks of currency, which is the wrong association when you’re talking about a block grant or a business investment.
David in NY
@inventor: Well, you’ll love “impactful” and “impactfully” which have arrived in business-bureaucrat-speak. The non-prescriptivist folks are already accepting it though it’s like fingernails on a blackboard (there’s an out of date one) to me.
Citizen_X
Thought leader.
Runt
If I was a reporter covering the movie industry, I would probably be arrested pretty quickly for slapping everyone who used the word “journey” to describe their life/work/character/lunch. On the other hand, someone really should start slapping, because that thing is completely out of hand.
I would also love it if Americans would stop saying “at this point in time”. “At this point” will do nicely, thanks.
Gorgon Zola
@Rex Everything: “Nuff said” really steams my onions too. Compounding the crime is that the user invariably has much more bullshit to say.
Tokyokie
As a former newspaper copy editor (and it’s copy editors who write the headlines), I can attest that “hit” is often used because it’s only 2 counts. (Lower-case i’s and t’s are skinny and only take up half a space.) I hated using it as a synonym for “criticize” however, so if I was tight on the headline count (which is usually the case), I’d use “blast” instead, which is 4 counts. The sad thing is that it looks to me like Politico is using a flush-center headline format that would allow several more counts and probably would have accommodated “criticize,” which is really the correct word. But I guess it didn’t seem snappy enough to the editor.
And news organizations by and large nowadays think that editors are an unnecessary luxury.
David in NY
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: That’s gonna be very impactful.
I think “passion” has been throroughly overused: “Shoe lace nibs are our passion.” Yikes!
And I’m gonna find a great drive-by takedown of “curated” from a recent NY Times piece to show what’s wrong with that.
Citizen_X
Calling a pro football team “Redskins.” (Link goes to a beautiful ad to that effect by the National Congress of American Indians. Go watch it, you won’t regret it.)
scav
@David in NY: oh I would so lose it in those meetings as my conjured image is fecal impaction and not rocketry.
Keith P
@Gorgon Zola: YES!
hildebrand
Using ‘way’ as an adverb. It may be grammatically correct, but it is grating.
Roger Moore
“Significantly” used to mean “greatly”. A significant change is a meaningful one, not necessarily a large one.
Rex Everything
@Gorgon Zola: Yeah, and what really annoys me about it is people write it like they’re saying something hip and snappy when, Jesus Christ, hack pop critics were using it 30+ years ago.
Amir Khalid
@Runt:
You could leave out the “at this point” part, and still not lose any meaning. The entire phrase is just padding.
Ultraviolet Thunder
@David in NY:
“Shoe lace nibs are our passion.”
Aglets. You mean aglets.
Ultraviolet Thunder
@David in NY:
“Shoe lace nibs are our passion.”
Aglets. You mean aglets.
Gorgon Zola
@Ultraviolet Thunder: And “literally” has come to be an accepted usage for “virtually.” That makes it all the more galling.
David in NY
@Runt: The “at that point in time” battle was long ago lost. The Watergate hearings enshrined it in the national lingo.
Mandalay
“Arab street”
“…on the planet”
YellowJournalism
Using “abortion” to describe something you think is terrible but trivial, like a bad movie or song.
hildebrand
@David in NY: In the same vein, the word ‘revolution’ should be shelved unless actually talking about something revolutionary. A ‘revolution’ in shaving’ (as one commercial stated) isn’t likely particularly revolutionary if it still involves blades and cutting whiskers.
What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?
@SinnedBackwards: as a fan of Rob Lowe’s work on Parks and Rec I couldn’t disagree more. He uses literally wrong to hilarious effect.
Violet
@Citizen_X: Where did “thought leader” even come from? All of a sudden I saw people making fun of it. Who came up with that stupid term? Someone self-designating as a thought leader, no doubt.
Amir Khalid
@Rex Everything:
“Hoodie” is the name for a particular thing, and if you took that word out you’d have to resort to a longer and more annoying noun phrase: “jacket/sweatshirt with an attached hood”.
Betty Cracker
@YellowJournalism: John Kennedy Toole pulled it off successfully in “A Confederacy of Dunces” when he had the protagonist use it to describe a painting. But you have a point; it generally falls flat.
Amir Khalid
@Violet:
Whoever came up with that term was a fuckhead.
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
I”m with tbone on “Is is what it is.” For similar reasons, “Life isn’t fair,” which always seems to said in a gleeful way meaning “I got mine, sucks for you.”
And I’ve been wishing for about 20 years that the term “politically correct” would die. It always turns out to mean “presumes to hold an opinion that doesn’t match mine,” and/or “called me on some racist/sexist/homophobic crap that I can’t otherwise defend.”
Ultraviolet Thunder
One of my bosses starts 2 out of every 3 sentences with ‘it turns out that’ or ‘what it is is’. These are meaningless noises he makes to allow his thoughts to catch up with his mouth.
Roger Moore
@MattF:
And can we kill “bipartisan” with fire?
Rex Everything
@Roger Moore : Right on! A “significant” thing, properly considered, is significant of something; i.e., something is being signified. Modern usage obliterates this & gives us one more completely unnecessary synonym.
inventor
@David in NY: It “scratches my blood” as my great grandmother used to say. A destruction derby is impactful, a new advertising strategy is not.
p.a.
“conservative intellectual”. “to grow” as a verb for anything economic/business related. fave word (h/t Hobbes): “smock”. smock! smock! smock!
Rex Everything
@Amir Khalid:
Yeah. A sweatshirt.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
David Brooks was IIRC the first person I saw use it. If it isn’t his, I’m guessing it was the title of a session at an Aspen Institute conference.
Specifically in politics, the words that drive me crazy, along the OP’s lines, are “attack” and “demonize”. Every criticism is an “attack”, every time you point out the actual consequences of a policy, you’re “demonizing” the person who proposed it.
(OT, just heard on NPR: Mary Landriue, Democrat Senator)
Betty Cracker
@Rex Everything: But with a hood!
Ultraviolet Thunder
‘Reach out to’, to mean to speak or write to someone. Just say write or speak.
Roger Moore
@Runt:
How about “now”?
David in NY
I don’t know if others have been annoyed by the sudden explosion of “curate” or “curated” in some circles, but this should have killed it.
From a Times article by Ginia Bellafante, on the demise of the Loehmann’s discount chain due to “the notion that shopping should feel more like cultural enrichment than commercial diversion.”
Ms. Bellafante describes this trend as one that has led to the “almost criminal overuse of terms like edit and curate in conjunction with the exercise of buying pants.”
Nice work there.
David in NY
@Ultraviolet Thunder: People who “reach out” also seem to “thank you for sharing” a lot.
SiubhanDuinne
@gene108:
I was invited to a party when I was in junior high. The invitation said “Informal dress.” Of course I read it as “In formal dress,” and was the only person there in party clothes. That stings when you’re 12 years old, or at least it did in 1954.
Rex Everything
@YellowJournalism: I’m pretty sure “abortion/abortive” in the pejorative sense precedes the use of “abortion” to mean a terminated pregnancy. It’s definitely not any kind of metaphor based on/referring to a terminated pregnancy.
Betty Cracker
@SiubhanDuinne: I knew someone who thought the expression “take it with a grain of salt” was “take it with a grain assault.” What did she imagine, a barrage of barley?
Runt
“The Commander in Chief” as a synonym for “the president” should go, as well. Makes him sound like a dictator – and the slobbering way the villagers say it shows that they see that connection, too.
scav
@SiubhanDuinne: I once heard a request to “reply audibly” as a request to “reply oddly”. Luckily everyone was replying at once.
Rex Everything
@Betty Cracker: And a pocket! Hey, can I call it a “pockety”?
Mnemosyne
@vtr:
It makes sense in corporate-speak, though. When you “sign off on” something, you’re not literally affixing your signature to a piece of paper. You’re giving someone permission to move ahead on a project.
Roger Moore
@Ultraviolet Thunder:
Those meaningless noises also serve as a way of maintaining his hold on the conversational thread. If he paused to gather his thoughts, somebody else might mistakenly believe he was finished and butt in. That makes them more acceptable in speech than in writing.
Mnemosyne
@Rex Everything:
Not necessarily — I’m wearing a “hoodie” that has two pockets. And a zipper. Hoodie may have originally meant “hooded pullover sweatshirt with a kangaroo-style pocket in front,” but it’s expanded out to mean any hooded sweatshirt (or hooded t-shirt, these days).
Joey Giraud
“Intellectual Property”
“Weapons of Mass Destruction”
“Jumbo Shrimp”
Roger Moore
@Betty Cracker:
Rice, like at a wedding.
Glocksman
It’s not something that can be banned, but I read a lot of fanfiction*, and a lot of authors either don’t know the difference between ‘rogue’ and ‘rouge’ or they don’t care.
Once is a spelling error, throughout the entire story isn’t.
*90% is badly written dreck. It’s finding the gem in a mound of horseshit that makes it worthwhile.
Rex Everything
“Agenda” needs to go. You know what I mean. “President Obama has an agenda!” Yeah, this MUST must mean he’s about to seize control of the means of production and start brainwashing 8 year olds.
As if an elected official shouldn’t have an agenda.
gogol's wife
@David in NY:
Oh yeah, “my passion” to mean “my major” or “pursuit I think will help me make money in the future.” And I can forgive the students, but the administrators put it into their heads.
Culture of Truth
derisively referring to state of the union “Laundry List”
Tehanu
1- Betty, I’m so happy I’m not alone in loathing “baby bump”!
2 – Think of “I could care less” as leaving out the rest of the sentence, “but it’s hard to see how.”
3 – “They” is the appropriate gender-neutral pronoun for a singular antecedent. It’s natural, unlike “hir” and “hem” and all the other stupid attempts to produce a newfangled one. (And I think words like “newfangled” and “blithering” and “pecksniffery” ought to come back into style!)
4 – We call “journey” the J-word around our house. Talk about pretentious….
5 – If I never hear anyone say, “I’d like to share my thoughts with you” again, it’ll be too soon — especially when their thought is, “Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?”, to which the only correct response is, “Sure, as soon as he gets in line behind my personal trainer, my personal dogwalker, and my personal manicurist.”
Rex Everything
@Mnemosyne: Wow, it’s expanded like crazy without sounding any less stupid and lame!
Runt
@Joey Giraud: I seem to recall that the guy behind the Boston bombing has been charged with use of “weapons of mass destruction”? If that term now includes anything that can explode, I guess Saddam had WMD’s after all.
Elmo
@SiubhanDuinne:
I do that sort of thing with my poor hearing. I once had a cashier in conversation ask me if I’d seen the nudist play at Sea World.
The WHAT now?
The nudist play, she said again.
At which point my partner, understanding both what she said and what I heard, leaned close and said clearly, Honey – there is a New. Display. At Sea World.
Oh.
Mnemosyne
@Rex Everything:
Fight the power — insist on telling everyone that you’re leaving as soon as you find your hooded pullover sweatshirt. That’ll show ’em!
gogol's wife
@Elmo:
I said to someone in my one-horse town, “I heard we’re going to get a tapas place downtown.” She (a nice middle-aged lady) said, “Oh, we already have one! My sons go there all the time!” She thought I was all excited about our first “topless place.”
ETA: And we still don’t have a tapas place, 10 years later.
Steeplejack
@Rex Everything:
Not all sweatshirts have hoods.
RubberCrutch
Hurrah, Betty! I’ve hated “hit” in headlines for decades. Only low-rent editors allow it. I’d bet it originates in newspaper headline copyfitting conventions, but that’s no excuse for any editor who has a mastery of the “synonym” concept.
chopper
“This begs the question, (insert question)?”
Rex Everything
@Steeplejack: Yeah. But who gives a fuck?
Rex Everything
@Mnemosyne: Why couldn’t I just say “sweatshirt”? Does anybody—ANYBODY—care whether it has a hood? What’s next, are we gonna give them special names depending on what color they are? Whether they’re lined or not? WHERE DOES IT END?
Ruckus
@Ultraviolet Thunder:
Do his thoughts actually catch up with his mouth?
Dad used to have a sign on his tool box –
Remember to put brain in gear before opening mouth.
Culture of Truth
everyone / everything not ‘ vs not everyone everything
as in, “everyone is not a genius” vs “not everyone is a genius”
this is particularly irritating because the meaning is completely changed.
Also, we are in real danger losing adverbs, especially in sports coverage.
“The Broncos played great!”
Amir Khalid
More of my gripes: People who can’t tell when to use “who” and when to use “whom” in a relative clause — is it that hard to understand the difference between a subject and an object? The English habit of saying “I was sat …” instead of “I was seated …”.
PurpleGirl
@inventor: The misuse of impact is also one of my pet peeves. Impact can also be the result of an action, it can be an auxiliary verb for “to have”, i.e. to have an impact.
Runt
On the other hand, why doesn’t anyone use “forsooth” anymore?
Ruckus
@Tehanu:
#5. I just ask them “What the fuck business is it of yours?” Of course they may continue instead of running away.
Of course if I were nicer I would say, “None of your business.” But I’m not.
RSA
@Gorgon Zola:
This gets on my nerves, too, because the speaker is generally not promising to shut up but rather wants everyone else to stop.
In the same kind of situation, I also hate “blah blah blah… Think about it.” As if what has been said is so subtle and insightful that I will need some time to fully grasp it. Please. (Now someone else will object to “Please.”)
As Language Emperor, I would decree that business people speak in ordinary language, for example, not to attach “-ize” to words like “product” and “incentive” for a patina of complexity, and that sports commentators basically stop commenting.
Amir Khalid
@Rex Everything:
I seem to remember that the hood on the late Trayvon Martin’s hoodie was a pretty big deal to some people.
Glocksman
@Amir Khalid:
It is if you don’t remember 7th grade grammar classes from 1979. :)
At work, one of the accuracy control people came up to me and asked if one of my co-workers named ‘Morales’ spoke English*.
My reply was that she speaks better English than I do, and I was only half kidding.
*It’s a fair question because we have a lot of hispanics in the plant who barely speak English.
Rex Everything
@Amir Khalid: Yeah, but in my language empire those people can go fuck themselves.
Ruckus
@Amir Khalid:
Wearing a hoodie is racist slang for black hoodlum, not a hooded sweatshirt.
ETA for clarity.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
The nearly universal use of “epicenter” for “center.” They’re not synonyms, and even when used figuratively, epicenter very seldom makes sense in the contexts in which it’s (over)used.
pinnochio
You want to know the truth?
You want to know the truth?
Also, two: brainfart and FSM
Steeplejack
@Amir Khalid:
“Who/whom.” And I/me. Particularly nettlesome in costume-drama dialogue. “I fear that the Marquis plans nothing but mischief for you and I.”
And, for the hat trick, hang/hanged. “He was hung by order of the King!”
stinger
@piratedan: Let’s me and you get together and leverage our synergies.
Karen in SoCal
I vote for “hella.” That’s so damn annoying.
Cervantes
Well, you can’t be.
I am — and I have no intention of abdicating, so there.
Cervantes
Two hours in, and none of you would-be emperors have mentioned take/bring?
Pretenders!
tesslibrarian
“how come” instead of “why”
“2.0” (or any “.0”–this one does seem to be dying out, though)
“hopefully” to mean “I hope”
“very unique”
Villago Delenda Est
“Some people say…”
Especially when said by Brit Hume.
Amir Khalid
@Steeplejack:
My, but that was a generous King.
Rex Everything
OK—actually, here’s MY VERY BIGGEST PET PEEVE lately:
Pronouncing foreign words or phrases that have been anglicized in the accent of the language they’re derived from.
The reason this bugs me is, people who do it think they’re correct to do it. The one thing it isn’t is correct. It may be cute; it may be impressive; it may—who am I to say?—be pretentious and insufferable and boot-to-the-jaw-inviting; but the one thing it is not is correct.
One example out of a billion: “ukelele” is an English word. It is an English word, in the English lexicon, with an English pronunciation, regardless of the fact that it derives from a Hawaiian word that’s pronounced oo-ka-leh-leh. If you pronounce it oo-ka-leh-leh when speaking English, you’re NOT pronouncing it correctly; you’re lapsing into another tongue.
(This, incidentally, is what annoys me about the whole “espresso-expresso” shitshow: Expresso was for decades, and should still be, a perfectly correct anglicisation of the Italian espresso, but a bunch of 1980s coffee snob idiots who were clueless enough to mistake their predilection for dropping European words & phrases for correct English have convinced at least 2 generations of shitheads that their bad English is good English.)
Chris T.
@BudP: Some Say his left eyeball is actually a testicle!
different-church-lady
“Focus in.” Redundant. And mixing metaphors — when using a lens one focuses on something, or one zooms in on something (saying one has a zoom lens to begin with).
rb
It’s kind of an obscure one, but I really can’t stand “your call will be answered in the order it was received.” What’s so difficult about “calls will be answered in the order they are received?”
gbear
Late to jump in, but I’d like to banish the word ‘robust’. I never noticed the word until Norm Coleman started using it in every other sentence. Then I started noticing how often it was used and how it was used, and it seemed to be used most often when things were totally in the shitter. It’s almost always a BS alert.
Amir Khalid
@Rex Everything:
I don’t agree that it’s wrong to pronounce a loan-word the way it’s pronounced in its original language. After all, it’s the Anglicised pronunciation that is incorrect.
trollhattan
@Tehanu:
Also, too, “I could care less’s” lesser cousin, “Laughing all the way to the bank.”
Think, people, think.
Cervantes
@Ultraviolet Thunder:
Not hardly. (How do you like them apples?)
Anyway, it’s recognized as current slang, maybe. It won’t last.
Amir Khalid
@Chris T.:
Portentious Jeremy Clarkson voice: “All we know is, he’s called The Stig.”
Robert Sneddon
“Absolutely”. I hear this word used a lot as the answer to a leading question in an interview, replacing a simple “yes” for emphasis. (The temptation to not continue and leave the interviewer hanging would be almost irresistible to me).
Another word that often does not mean what the speaker thinks it means is “literally”. I literally can’t count the number of times I’ve heard it misused.
Bobby Thomson
@Rex Everything: You’ll take my Franglais when you pry it from my cold dead hands.
Quizboy
“Controversial” as a way to soft-pedal assholish policy while invoking Both Sides Do It. Example:
“Today, House Republicans unveiled a controversial bill that would force poverty-stricken schoolchildren to survive a gladiatorial combat tournament before receiving proper food benefits. Democratic leaders denounced the idea as ‘an unthinkable, barbaric bloodsport’; however, GOP officials say their proposal would help create jobs and bring a much-needed boost to local economies.”
The other lazy media buzzword I’d place a moratorium on would be “legacy.”
HeartlandLiberal
I would so banish the us of “he / she was like” to introduce a direct quote.
I understand that such devices are natural occurrences in language evolution. In fact, “he / she goes” has been around longer and serves the same function, to introduce a direct quote.
But this one particularly just grates me raw. It just sounds ignorant and illiterate.
Sadly, I am half way through ‘Trask’s Historical Linguistiecs” Second Edition, and this was discussed in one of the chapters I just finished, and the authors state their fear that the usage may have entrenched itself to the point it will become acceptable standard English usage.
In which case, it is another sign of the End Times, and we are all doomed.
I found one source stating the following in regard to this construction:
The OED’s earliest citation is dated 1982. It is from Frank Zappa’s song ‘Valley Girl’, which has the line ‘She’s like Oh my God.’ The entry is for to be like, and it is described as colloquial and of US origin and as being ‘used to report direct speech (often paraphrased, interpreted, or imagined speech expressing a reaction, attitude, emotion, etc.); to say, utter; (also) to say to oneself.’
Jebediah, RBG
Haven’t read the thread yet, so I might be repeating somebody else, but:
This may have already died out on its own, but “business solutions” when what is meant is “I sell copier toner.” (I have seen the variant “business solutioning” which is considerably worse.)
And the phrase “assless chaps.” If they weren’t assless, they would just be pants. The asslessness is the biggest defining feature that distinguishes them from pants.
Steeplejack
@HeartlandLiberal:
Stern language from someone using so as a superfluous, all-purpose intensifier in the very first sentence: “I would so banish . . .”
Thank you, Friends. Ross: “Rachel, that is so not what happened!”
WaterGirl
Saying “You’re welcome” before anyone has thanked you.
Using the word “rape” to describe something that is not rape.
All improper pronunciations of nuclear.
Jebediah, RBG
@Calming Influence:
I’d be willing to make one exception: a sex worker negotiating with a prospective client.
Splitting Image
I would rid the world of “left-wing”, “right-wing”, and all of their variants. Without defining the axes of the equation, the terms are meaningless, and the only point there is to describing a person as left-of-centre, or the U.S. as “a centre-right nation” is to delegitimize the people on the “wrong” side.
tjmn
“As a matter of fact,…”
Jebediah, RBG
@Ultraviolet Thunder:
This will make it easier to remember.
Roger Moore
@Amir Khalid:
I think what he’s objecting to is a sort of de-anglicization, where people use the original, foreign pronunciation and/or spelling for a word that has been anglicized. It’s usually a pretentious attempt by the speaker to prove his sophistication.
Sometimes people even do it wrong, taking a foreign word that’s naturally easy for English speakers to pronounce and giving it an incorrect, “more foreign-sounding” pronunciation in the mistaken belief that we’ve anglicized it. The one I can most easily think of is people incorrectly using “habañero” instead of “habanero”. Habaneros are actually named for Havana, which does not have a “ñ”, but people draw an incorrect analogy from the anglicization of “jalapeño” to “jalapeno”.
Amir Khalid
@Roger Moore:
No, that’s plainly not what Rex is getting at:
Cervantes
@Rex Everything: In fact, it comes from the Latin for “miscarry.”
Cervantes
@Betty Cracker: Similarly, someone I knew thought “Up and at ’em” was, in fact, “Up an atom.”
Cervantes
@Rex Everything: Agenda is plural.
Cervantes
@Rex Everything: Actually, she said “expanded out” …
Cervantes
@gogol’s wife: Otherwise known as a tapasserie.
Ultraviolet Thunder
“Additionally, such studies might also help researchers hone in on genetic changes not found in any other species, and learn if these changes helped endow early people with uniquely human attributes.”
Ugh. To hone is to sharpen. To home in is to focus or approach closely. ‘Hone in’ means nothing.
Ultraviolet Thunder
@efgoldman:
Howdy. Nice to be back. Omaha this week, then that place I forget the name of where they make caskets for 2 days. Next week Greenville SC.
But I’ll always come home to BJ.
My new project on digitizing vinyl records should be coming out in a few weeks.
ETA: Batesville. Batesville IN. Brain is getting old…
Jebediah, RBG
@Cervantes:
I assumed a tapasserie was a brothel.
Cervantes
@tesslibrarian: The original, “How comes it,” is an old construction. Doesn’t mean you can’t be peeved about it, of course.
Cervantes
@tesslibrarian: The original, “How comes it,” is an old construction. Doesn’t mean you can’t be peeved about it, of course.
Kirbster
My pet peeve is: “Mistakes were made.” instead of “I (or other responsible party) made mistakes.”
The use of “mispoke” as a substitute for the far more accurate “lied.”
Jasmine Bleach
@Cervantes:
As a member of the Society for the Preservation of the Plurality of Agenda, I must also lend my support to the plurality of Data!
Edit to add: Somewhat scooped by efgoldman!
Ultraviolet Thunder
@efgoldman:
I designed a phono/RIAA preamp circuit optimized to interface with a computer line input. It goes between a computer and an ordinary turntable. That was the easy part. Writing up the construction details and photographing the whole thing was grueling.
SFAW
“Republican majority”
“Chairman Issa”
“NY Times pundit David Brooks”
“Erick Erickson”
SFAW
@efgoldman:
It should be capitalized, and there was only one Data.
Or did you mean something else?
ETA: Of course, the other question is: Should it be “as is ‘data'” or “as are ‘data'”?
ETA2: Which then leads to another question: Should “anal-retentive” be hyphenated?
tybee
in my poor 2 numeral discipline, data is both plural and singular.
may not be correct but it is the reality.
Snarkworth
How about, “Let me be honest with you”? It suggests that all previous statements were lies.
Snarkworth
How about, “Let me be honest with you”? It suggests that all previous statements were lies.
Snarkworth
How about, “Let me be honest with you”? It suggests that all previous statements were lies.
Betty Cracker
@tybee: True. That train has sailed.
The Other Chuck
@Rex Everything: It’s also known as a Hyperforeignism
It always bugged the crap out of me in the 80’s when news anchors would affect a Latino accent when saying “Nicaragua”.
Snarkworth
Oops.
Jasmine Bleach
@SFAW:
“As is data” is correct when speaking about the word “data.” If you are speaking about multiple data points, then “as are (the) data.” could be correct, depending on what exactly you are trying to say.
As for anal-retentive, this is usually used as an adjective before a noun, so, yes, it should be hyphenated (e.g., “He was an anal-retentive man.” When using “anal-retentive” as a noun or predicate adjective, almost always “retentive” would be dropped (e.g., “He was always anal.”) so there wouldn’t be a situation to not have it hyphenated.
SFAW
@Jasmine Bleach:
It was a joke.
Well, actually, it were jokes.
But, for what it’s (or “its,” for some of y’all), “anal retentive” – hyphen or not – is not a noun. Some may use it that way, but some also say “literally” when they mean “figuratively,” and say “bemused” when they mean “amused.”
Donalbain
@eric: “They” has been gender neutral singular for hundreds of years.
Jasmine Bleach
@SFAW:
Yes, I know.
But you have no idea how many people honestly ask me this question on a daily basis (because I’m so anal).
Maybe I should write a grammar book?
Cervantes
@Jasmine Bleach: A book about grammar is called a grammar.
schrodinger's cat
“Statement” anything, as in statement necklace, statement sweater, fashion blogs are particularly guilty of this. Using singular instead of plural, as in statement lip, smoky eye and so on. Also, curating for choosing clothes, all of us get dressed, you are not an art gallery or a museum, get over yourself.
Grown women writing in the voice of a 15 year old, using words like delish and yummo. Not cute.
SFAW
@Jasmine Bleach:
It occurred to me, after my follow-up, that you were also making a joke. Looks as if maybe I was right?
Re: book: be sure to spell it “Grammer” if you want to get the wingnuts to buy it. (Wait a minute – wingnuts trying to educate themselves? What was I thinking?)
SFAW
@Cervantes:
Snob.
vtr
@The Other Chuck: They have no idea what’s going on in Neekahlawah, but they nail that pronouncer.
danielx
@Tehanu:
Baby bump. And thank god nobody uses paradigm any more.
SFAW
@danielx:
That’s because, with inflation, you have to use a quarter instead of paradigms.
Jasmine Bleach
@SFAW:
Yes. I thought it’d be kind of funny to actually answer the questions seriously . . .
Cervantes
@SFAW: I bet you say that to all the girls.
SFAW
@Jasmine Bleach: @efgoldman:
“Back in the day” (although he didn’t have a literally paradigmatic baby bump) I had a T-shirt with the question: “Is anal-retentive hyphenated?” The responses generally fell into one of three categories:
1) Confused/quizzical look
2) Laughs
3) Stopping to argue as to whether it should/shouldn’t
SFAW
@Cervantes:
Unless I’m pretending I’m a Brit, in which case it’s “snaaahb.”
Whilst holding a teacup, and having my little finger extended.
Amir Khalid
@Amir Khalid:
When I come across Malay loan words in English, I cringe a little inside when I hear an Anglicised pronunciation, or even one with too foreign an accent. The spelling of amuk as “amuck”, with the corresponding (mis)pronunciation that rhymes with the English word “muck”, really bugs me. As does Stephen Fry, in a book on verse, spelling pantun “pantoum”. And the American pronunciation of parang. I expect Malay words to be pronounced as Malay words.
Thor Heyerdahl
Any US political scandal ending in “gate”.
Amir Khalid
@schrodinger’s cat:
It ticks me off when I see a pair of pants being called a “pant”. Are they sold one leg at a time?
Ultraviolet Thunder
An old friend now owns a successful eyewear boutique in boutiqueland. She spells lens as ‘lense’. I don’t know if this is special optometry terminology or just an affectation. In either case, it’s a real clanger on the page.
Cervantes
@Amir Khalid: Sarong.
Cervantes
@Ultraviolet Thunder: It’s an old variant, pretty much obsolete — so I doubt that’s where she gets it. I bet she’s simply back-forming it from “lenses.” Is she consistent about it?
Amir Khalid
@Cervantes:
“Suh-wrong”. Ew.
Rex Everything
@Amir Khalid:
Do you say Wein instead of Vienna, wasser instead of water, mutter instead of mother, & schule instead of school? If not, why not?
My point is, English vocabulary consists mostly of what you call loan-words. Some were anglicized longer ago than others; that’s the only difference.
Cervantes
@Amir Khalid: Batik.
Citizen_X
@Rex Everything:
So? Free country, innit?
What if you are Hawaiian? You’re “lapsing into” your own tongue. Which is fine, except to bigots. (“Thizziz ‘MURICA! We speak English!”)
What if you’re Anglo, but learning ukulele from a Hawaiian? What if you’re somewhere where the pronunciation is disputed? (Example: Manchaca, a major street in Austin, is pronounced “Man-shack” by many Anglos. Not by Chicanos, though, and personally I’m fine with “Manchaca.”)
There’s a bunch of different languages. Use whatever you like.
Cervantes
@Rex Everything: Wien instead of Vienna.
Fluke bucket
A post title for the ages. Great job!
Amir Khalid
@Cervantes:
Thank God, that one seems to resist mispronunciation.
BruceFromOhio
Fucked if I know.
You are either with us, or with the terrorists.
Irregardless, no one is going to shave the cats ass over this.
Ultraviolet Thunder
@Cervantes:
100%. I’m guessing it’s a convention from eyewear marketing materials. No idea why except maybe to appear fancy.
Rex Everything
@Cervantes: Ah thanks. Fixed.
BruceFromOhio
@ShadeTail: Shut your hole, little bitch, a’for I pop a cap in your cracker ass.
SFAW
@Cervantes:
Yes, Weiner is actually in NYC.
Cervantes
@Amir Khalid: No, it’s most often pronounced “buh-teek” here.
Ultraviolet Thunder
Oh! Backseat instead of back seat and backyard instead of back yard, etc. These words became commonly conjoined when I wasn’t looking and I didn’t have a chance to object.
SFAW
@Amir Khalid:
How about babai? Which, according to the estimable Cervantes, is pronounced “buh-bye.”
Cervantes
@Rex Everything: Not exactly.
But you’re welcome.
Rex Everything
@Amir Khalid:
What Roger Moore said, in his first paragraph, is exactly what I was getting at.
SFAW
@Cervantes:
Rex was thinking the drinking lamp was lit.
Rex Everything
@Citizen_X:
Right. That’s what you’re doing, and it is fine. But it’s not English; still less correct English.
Rex Everything
@Cervantes: Oh yaeh. Whoops.
SFAW
@Rex Everything:
Which, in German, translates to “Scheisse.”
Amir Khalid
@Rex Everything:
You’re stretching the definition of a loan word there, so much so as to obliterate the distinction between German and English. Yes, Mutter and mother are cognates with a shared origin; but while they mean the same thing, they are not the same word. Not any more, not after so many centuries of divergence between German and English.
Amir Khalid
@Rex Everything:
The paragraph I quoted says something quite different.
Juju
I can’t stand it when decimate is used to mean destroyed, the variations on, and the made up word transitioning, and the word bling.
SFAW
@Juju:
Perhaps you should prioritize which words you’d eliminate.
Rex Everything
@Amir Khalid:
?? Roger Moore:
Me (the paragraph you quoted):
Amir Khalid
@Cervantes:
Close enough not to make a fuss about.
Rex Everything
@Amir Khalid: I’m not stretching the definition of loan word at all. I mean Wikipedia, citing Sprachliche Interferenz by Kolb and Lauffer, lists “music” as a loan word (from French musique). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loanword#cite_note-6
Which do you say, Amir, music or musique? Which do you play on your ooka-leh-leh?
Cervantes
@Amir Khalid: Sell-out!
Cervantes
@Rex Everything: Actually, never mind the French, “music” is from the Greek word for “muse.”
Rex Everything
@Cervantes: Not directly, though. It entered English as a loan word from French.
schrodinger's cat
@Amir Khalid: That too.
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
@Kirbster:
Yes, and any variation on “sorry if you were offended” instead of “sorry I f***ed up.”
schrodinger's cat
MSM bots beginning their stories with, “some people say”, I want to know who those people are.
tybee
@Betty Cracker:
mom was an english teacher and she always pointed out that the language evolves…
except for when she railed against it.
PigInZen
@Jont:
Agree 100% about “slap in the face.” Just overused and lazy. How about using insult instead fer crying out loud?
mclaren
If the sharks are starting to eat each other, that’s good news. Perhaps Peggy Noonan will someday be brought to justice on criminal conspiracy charges for her role in aiding and abetting the vast 8-year-long crime spree misnamed the Reagan administration.
Capt. Seaweed
“Popcorn futures”
Silly, useless tripe.
David in NY
@gogol’s wife: When my younger boy was sending job application letters from home, he thought it was more or less mandatory to say something was his “passion.” I said no.
Cervantes
@Rex Everything: Yes, you’re right, that’s a distinct possibility, but it’s not certain — it could also have come into mediæval English from early German mosica; or directly from Latin musica; or from all three. (And all these paths can be traced back to the Greek for “muse.”)
Also, “school” is not ours from German; it comes to us from Latin. And “water” could not have come from wasser; it probably came from the older watar. And the same with “mother”: not from mutter but probably from the earlier mothær.
Also, not a linguistic point but included just for completeness: the ukelele (the instrument) is not indigenous to Hawaii; it is itself an import that has evolved.
But those are details. Here’s where this began, with your “VERY BIGGEST PET PEEVE lately”:
And Amir Khalid‘s response:
Both interesting comments. On the one hand, there are people, allegedly speaking English, who pronounce café as if it were caff. No matter our respective views on the pronunciation of loan-words, I think we can all agree that this sort of thing is simply grotesque. Similarly, Amir Khalid, being bi-lingual, finds the American (or anglicized) pronunciation of sarong somewhat disgusting. On the other hand, you ask about (for example) music. Well, when it started out as a loan-word in English, it was not pronounced the way we pronounce it now. It was pronounced self-consciously in the accent of the language(s) from which it was borrowed (see above) — but modal pronunciations evolve, and clinging to a (e.g.) French pronunciation of music today, while trying to speak English, would be silly (or something done for effect).
So in a way, you’re both right: it’s a matter of time, i.e., how long ago a word was adopted.
As for your primary (or, at least, most energetic) example:
I won’t say this verges on xenophobia — nor will I say I’m one of those espresso drinkers who found expresso illiterate when it emerged in the late ’50s — but in this case can’t we just declare that there are two variant pronunciations (and spellings) and let the “better” one win out over time? Or do you object to this?
Sourmash
Got to the end and never saw this. Why can’t propel tell the difference between subjective and onjective pronouns?
Sourmash
MYSELF!!! Can the abuse of this fine word stop?? Why can’t people tell the difference between subjective and onjective pronouns? As in “Bill and myself will go to eat” or “please comment and send the proposal back to Jim and myself”. What is wrong with “I” and “me”??