D.O.A.

Today I learned something new: Fox News Latino actually exists. I thought Roger Ailes would have bought the domain name so he could put up a page that says “Go Back to Where You Came From”. The story there about the Teanderthal reaction to the House Immigration “Principles” tells us nothing new:

Later, in a statement to conservative news site Breitbart.com, Cruz said: “Anyone pushing an amnesty bill right now should go ahead and put a ‘Harry Reid for Majority Leader’ bumper sticker on their car, because that will be the likely effect if Republicans refuse to listen to the American people and foolishly change the subject from Obamacare to amnesty.”

U.S. Sen. Jeff Sessions, a Republican from Alabama, also had harsh words for the principles.

“Once again, we have the same recycled talking points—crafted, it would appear, with the help of the same consultants and special interests,” Sessions said in a statement. “Each time, the talking points are followed by legislation that fails to match the promises—legislation that, at bottom, ensures only the amnesty and not the enforcement.”

Immigration reform gets trotted out after every SOTU. By the time the Easter Bunny brings all the little girls and boys baskets full of Easter joy, it’s deader than Andrew Breitbart.

But it is funny to read what Sessions says about the House Immigration “Plan”, which like most of the policy documents released by the Republican leadership, is laughably short and weak. If a bunch of consultants are really drafting these lame, recycled talking points, I’d love to have their three-martini-lunch job.

Update: On the topic of immigration and learning something, Eleanor Clift has not yet been committed to memory care, and her latest column is titled “The Anguish of Alan Simpson, Tragic Hero of Immigration Reform”. If you do read that, let me know if you think that “folksy” is a euphemism for “stupid”. (via)






42 replies
  1. 1
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    I’ve got news for Ted Cruz. He does not speak “for the American People’. He speaks for a subset or racist shitstains who comprise a minority of the populace of this country. I am sick an tired of these fascist twits claiming to speak for “the American People”.

  2. 2
    Baud says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    To be fair, they all say that.

    To be even fairer, it’s especially mendacious when Ted Cruz says it.

  3. 3
    Corner Stone says:

    The better part of what Sessions said is the whitemongering here:
    “It would surge the already unprecedented level of legal lesser-skilled immigration to the U.S. that is reducing wages and increasing unemployment,” he said”

    Yeah, it’s those browns that are going after your wages and driving down employment.

  4. 4
    Mnemosyne says:

    I was wondering why I was hearing a PSA from a DREAMer on my radio this morning. OC still has quite a few Republicans in both the California legislature and the House, so I think it’s a shot across the bow for November.

  5. 5
    Fuzzy says:

    I would love it if the GOPers put an actual immigration bill forward that could be voted on instead of a vague outline thingy. Then maybe they would have to explain the details of their racism. Which of them even has the balls to put their name on a legislative act?

  6. 6
    Corner Stone says:

    Oh, and could someone please tell Sen Stabenow that she has a “D” after her name, please?
    “We have done nothing that changes eligibility or eliminates anyone from food assistance help,” Senate Agriculture Committee Chairwoman Debbie Stabenow, D-Mich., said Monday. “We have gone after waste, fraud and abuse.”

  7. 7
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    From the Republicans’ Immigration Principles
    These persons could live legally and without fear in the U.S., but only if they were willing to admit their culpability, pass rigorous background checks, pay significant fines and back taxes, develop proficiency in English and American civics… (emph added).

    Hell, the “proficiency in English and American civics” provision would make most Republicans ineligible for citizenship.

  8. 8
    MattF says:

    So, Cruz sends his press releases to breitbart.com. I guess he’s all-in for membership in the clown car crew.

  9. 9
    Corner Stone says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    Hell, the “proficiency in English and American civics” provision would make most Republicans ineligible for citizenship.

    Not if they use the Republican curriculum that vanishes Jefferson from history and replaces him on Mt Rushmore with Reagan.
    Which, to be fair, seems an imminently reasonable compromise to avoid the debt ceiling crisis.

  10. 10
    c u n d gulag says:

    I’m not sure if they take that 3 martini lunch in anticipation of having to write that gibberish, or, taking that 3 martini lunch as a consequence of HAVING WRITTEN that gibberish.

    Iz a puzzlement…

    On second thought, they probably have a 3 martini breakfast, and THEN, take a 3 martini lunch!
    I know I would.
    And maybe smoke a bone or two during the day, also too.

  11. 11
    Jay C says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    Not to mention the “pay significant fines and back taxes” bit: I guess they want newly-legalized citizens to start off their citizenship in the classic American tradition: either flat-broke: or loaded down with a crushing debt-load: THAT will get them assimilated!!!!

  12. 12
    Ash Can says:

    OK, it’s my fault for not following the link and getting my answer first-hand, because I don’t want to give the Fox garbage dump the traffic, but I really do wonder how the latino version of Fox is spinning this story in particular, and the site in general. Do they go for the bucks and drop the GOP/anti-immigration shtick of their anglo version, or do they carry the GOP propaganda theme over and delude themselves into thinking anyone’s going to watch?

  13. 13
    Baud says:

    which like most of the policy documents released by the Republican leadership, is laughably short and weak.

    Does it have one of those nonsensical Venn diagrams that we’ve seen in other GOP “proposals”?

  14. 14
    beltane says:

    @Jay C: But at least they’ll be eligible for their complimentary Freedumb assault rifle.

  15. 15
    WaterGirl says:

    Immigration reform gets trotted out after every SOTU. By the time the Easter Bunny brings all the little girls and boys baskets full of Easter joy, it’s deader than Andrew Breitbart.

    That’s a sentence I would expect from Betty Cracker. High praise indeed!

  16. 16
    OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Corner Stone: “All those jobs we shipped overseas had nothing to do with it.”

  17. 17
    Citizen_X says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    “proficiency in English and American civics” provision would make most Republicans ineligible for citizenship.

    What are you talking about? Republicans know that, to ace a civics test, all you have to do is yell “Constitution! Constitution!” over and over, while waving a gun around.

  18. 18
    WaterGirl says:

    @c u n d gulag:

    On second thought, they probably have a 3 martini breakfast, and THEN, take a 3 martini lunch!

    It’s like the hobbits, only with alcohol!

    Aragorn: Gentlemen! We do not stop ’til nightfall.
    Pippin: But what about breakfast?
    Aragorn: You’ve already had it.
    Pippin: We’ve had one, yes. But what about second breakfast?
    [Aragorn stares at him, then walks off.]
    Merry: Don’t think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.
    Pippin: What about elevensies? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn’t he?
    Merry: I wouldn’t count on it.

  19. 19
    Corner Stone says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: “Cracking union membership and passing Right to Work laws? Nah, browns.”

  20. 20
    maximiliano furtive, formerly known as dr. bloor says:

    So Cruz is still convinced that hammering away at Obamacare will lead to majorities in Congress.

    Keep fucking that chicken, Teddy.

  21. 21
    Jay C says:

    @beltane:

    Naaah. probably just a voucher for a “new citizen discount”.

    After all, there are what? 10-11 million undocumented people here now? Even if the “fine” is a mere $1000 or so, that’s a $10-11 billion market right there! How better to welcome them to US society than by making them into instant indebted consumers? It’s the American Way…..!

  22. 22
    WaterGirl says:

    @Ash Can: IIRC, the “republican latino response” to the SOTU was basically going to be a translation of the republican response, because god knows republican latinos can’t be allowed to express an opinion.

  23. 23
    Baud says:

    @WaterGirl:

    “One does not simply walk into America.”

  24. 24
    the Conster says:

    Eleanor Clift should be committed to memory care, because Joe Moakley was from South Boston in the great state of Massachusetts, not Pennsylvania. He served us long and well, and is now spinning in his grave.

  25. 25
    Baud says:

    @WaterGirl:

    If were a Republican, I’d be afraid of them expressing their own opinion.

  26. 26
    gene108 says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Unions are Yankee controlled excuses for Italian-Catholic-crooks organized crime to infiltrate God fearing American Christian communities.

  27. 27
    Ken says:

    They always speak for the American people until someone mentions the polls. Then they speak for American principles, which are apparently something that very few Americans believe, but that everyone should believe.

  28. 28
    muricafukyea says:

    Speaking of reddit meme’s. This one is appropriate for you phone it in muckymux.
    http://i.imgur.com/wjiskwF.jpg

  29. 29
    eldorado says:

    since it’s not being mentioned at all, i assume expanding h1bs to further drive down labor costs is also on the table

  30. 30
    gene108 says:

    On a side note, I’ve had on-line discussions with folks complaining about population growth in Wake County, North Carolina, where I grew up.

    I told them part of their problem is Wake County is a nice place to settle down and raise kids, therefore the way to avoid problems that come with growth – like needing to build more schools – is to make the area suck. If everyone in Wake County put a car in their front yard, on cinder blocks of course, they’d probably start having people leave.

    If American followed this example, on a large scale, by getting rid of sewer systems, ubiquitous access to in-door plumbing, and the general ability of society to assimilate immigrants within a generation, I’m sure America’s immigration “problem” would self correct.

    The fact is America still has a lot going for it compared to other countries, especially with regards to a long – though sometimes turbulent history – of being able to assimilate immigrants into the mainstream.

  31. 31
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Jay C: actually, since they object to the fines as “Obama is selling US citizenship”, I think what the critics would like is for the undocumented to start their path to citizenship in prison.

  32. 32
    gene108 says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    critics would like is for the undocumented to start their path to citizenship in prison.

    The critics would like them to be deported after a stay in prison. Citizenship is about obeying the law or something and criminals are not welcome in America, which goes a long way in explaining how hard it is for ex-felons to get their right to vote back.

  33. 33
    Keith P says:

    I’m sure Mexicans really appreciate being told how much tighter immigration enforcement should be from the son of a Cuban ex-pat.

  34. 34
    Roger Moore says:

    @gene108:

    Unions are Yankee controlled excuses for Italian-Catholic-crooks organized crime Communists to infiltrate God fearing American Christian communities sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids.

    FTFY.

  35. 35
    Corner Stone says:

    “Finding the Funk” I can not wait for that VH1 documentary on Feb 4th.
    If my back wasn’t sending me warning signals I’d start slapping my funky bass this afternoon.

  36. 36
    aimai says:

    @gene108: I haven’t read it yet but over at LGM a book was recommended to me called something like “The Right To Stay At Home” about the effects of Free Trade policies, NAFTA, and corporate buying up of land in Latin and Central America. The end result is that people can’t afford to stay home–they have to come here to find work because farm work and even their homes no longer exist or are viable in their home countries. There’s a push factor as well as a pull factor, in other words.

  37. 37
    Mike E says:

    @gene108: Oh, you must mean Johnston County. Wake is growing so fast, we’ll be there in no time!

  38. 38

    @gene108:
    Everything is about punishing someone. They want to hurt people and feel self-righteous about it. That has been the core of conservative policy since at least Reagan. It has gotten mixed up with ‘fuck you, liberals’ more and more because most liberal policies try to help people.

  39. 39
    WaterGirl says:

    @Baud: You make a good point. Republicans: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

  40. 40
    Thoughtful David says:

    @Jay C: Actually, a lot of them have been paying taxes, including Social Security, but will get no credit for it because they were using an assumed name / SS number. They’ve actually been helping to support the rest of us, since they are barred from getting any benefits. So asking them to “pay back taxes” is just another version of “let us fuck you over some more before we’ll be nice to you.”

  41. 41

    What is Cruz’s opinion about the special treatment accorded to Cubans, where immigration is concerned? Has any intrepid reporter asked him this question?

  42. 42

    It’s probably as good as NewsCorp’s guide to your big, fat gay wedding.

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