Yep, Starting To Look Like I Am Fucked


Spent the whole night icing and elevating the knee, and, as a survivor of a number of knee injuries over years of soccer, lacrosse, the military, and general clumsiness, it’s starting to look like I didn’t just stretch the ACL, but I may have shredded it and there may be damage to the patellar tendon and the IT band. Again, just self diagnosing, but this ain’t my first day at the rodeo and I did drive myself to the hospital after shredding my shoulder in another pet related injury, so while a commie liberal cat lover and criminally accident prone, I’m not a total Nancy Boy.

At any rate, it’s immobilized and I have had frozen veggies on it almost all night, and usually after a couple of hours if it is just a strain it will start to calm down a bit, but this one isn’t. On the up side, I am using the walking stick Walt bought me, so that is cool. When I take the brace off, though, I can see the bruising, so I’m reasonably sure that come Monday or Tuesday, I am going to cover my annual insurance deductible.

Having said all that, while I was sitting here motherfucking everything and being generally pissed off about the situation, I was stationary (more so than usual, because it hurts to move) and I had time to think. And I reflected on this. Here are some of the changes brought about by the ACA aka “OBAMACARE”:


My knee hurts like hell, and maybe I am a strange breed, but I can deal ok with physical pain. Yeah, it hurts, and I bitch about it and drama queen it up when I can, but seriously, just follow the old comedy routine and don’t do whatever you are telling the doctor it hurts to do when you do it. But there was nothing worse in my life than the summer I sat, cringing in horror, taking cold showers every twenty minutes and hugging Lily underneath the comforter while I went through multiple panic attacks every day before having my my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (and other things) diagnosed and started to receive help.

Which I did, because I had insurance. So yeah. The Health Care website roll out sucked. My knee hurts.

But let me regain some fucking perspective, and think how lucky people are now compared to just a few years ago. And again, those of you who are in the know will back me up- I will take a bum knee over the psychic pain that who knows how many people went and go through without help. And now they don’t have to. Shit is still fucked up and bullshit, but it is getting better.

So if you wouldn’t mind, please pass me the frozen peas. The spinach is getting warm.


96 replies
  1. 1
    BGinCHI says:

    Cut leaf spinach.

    What, no baby spinach?

  2. 2
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    I do believe a visit to the doctor is in order, John. If for no other reason than to allay or confirm your suspicions.

  3. 3
    BGinCHI says:

    Cole, Groundhog Day is playing on the Esquire Channel.

    Seems relevant.

  4. 4
    YellowJournalism says:

    Funny you brought up the ACA, because I would need insurance for all the damage done to my head from hitting it on the table while watching Jon Stewart ask Pelosi about a web site that is now working.

  5. 5
    NotMax says:

    Drama queens of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your (fill in the blank).

  6. 6
    Keith P says:

    My advice to you is to smoke (weed) heavily.

  7. 7
    YellowJournalism says:

    John, you need to get to the doctor. It seems you’ve done some major damage to your leg, and I’m not talking about the socks and sandals ensemble.

  8. 8
    BGinCHI says:

    @NotMax: …claims.

  9. 9
    KG says:

    @Keith P: that’s just good life advice, in general

  10. 10
    Comrade Mary says:

    OK, I was just kidding about having you bigfoot the thread below with a pic of your knee. I was hoping that it was just a little twist.

    Can you see a doctor tomorrow? That may not be something you want to leave over the weekend. Seriously.

  11. 11
    Suzanne says:

    My mom is getting health insurance, and with it regular medical care and meds to help her cope with her near-suicidal depression, for the first time in almost five years. My friend who was diagnosed with HIV last year can afford his HAART because of this law. At this point, if you oppose this law, you support their deaths.

    Go get your knee fixed, John. And please get the psychiatric help you need. Please.

  12. 12
    Karen in GA says:

    Perspective indeed, Cole. But also doctor. ASAP.

  13. 13
    Keith P says:

    @KG: People who’ve never smoked or just done it once just don’t understand what they’re missing. Most of the best times of my life have involved being high or stoned. It takes the weight of the world off your shoulders.

  14. 14
    NotMax says:

    Actually, John, there are injuries wherein using ice-cold temps can do harm and make the damage worse.

    The injured area will always tell you which method of first aid (with the emphasis on first) is better. If it feels warmer than surrounding tissue before treating, use cold. If it feels chillier (or normal but much stiffer) than surrounding tissue, use heat. In either case, treatment in regular, measured periods of amelioration. (Also too, if must use bags of frozen veggies, wrap them in a cloth – do not apply directly.)

    Know someone whose promising, just about to start career with the NFL (at the time, back when) was entirely pulled out from under him when a nurse used ice rather than heat on his injured knee that left permanent damage.

  15. 15
    Yatsuno says:

    I have pretty damn good insurance because I’m a federale. Plus thanks to circumstance I’m dual insured. So I’m really fortunate in that this hospital stay will cost me about $600 max. If that.

  16. 16
    some guy says:

    it’s a death trap
    a suicide rap
    we got get out
    before we’re young

    SAYEDABAD, Afghanistan —

    They are motorists who drove on the road network built by the U.S. government and other Western donors — a $4 billion project that was once a symbol of promise in post-Taliban Afghanistan but is now falling apart. ,,,,,,,,

    “Wherever the road ends, that’s where the Taliban starts,” said then-U.S. commander Lt. Gen. Karl Eikenberry in 2006.

    The U.S. military and USAID funded more than $2 billion in roads — one of the largest American investments in Afghanistan. A host of foreign donors, particularly Germany, the World Bank and the Asian Development Bank, also poured billions into construction.

    During the years of rapid construction, the donors’ conversations with the Afghan government about road maintenance were rare. “There was such an urgent need to build highways,” the U.S. official said. “Maintenance was not the issue at the time.”

    Afghan officials assumed they would receive ongoing financial support to maintain the roads. U.S. officials say they likely would have provided such aid, if the Afghan authorities had proven competent. So far, U.S. efforts to build an Afghan Road Authority that would fund and implement maintenance have been largely ineffective, as tension between the two governments has risen.

    “They are the ones who are incompetent. Look how long it’s taken them to build these roads — and how much they’ve cost,” Raiskhel said.

  17. 17
    John Cole says:

    Oh, fer fuck’s sake. I will go to a doctor, but can you all stop being so goddamn concerned about my knee, which will be fine, and reflect on the point of this post.


    I think I once called you all melodramatic pansies. I was right. I’m so glad I didn’t tell you all about severing the tendons on the left middle finger of my hand a couple months ago while cutting an avocado and getting startled by the phone ringing.

  18. 18
    GregB says:

    You may be eligible for a death panel.

  19. 19
    LesGS says:

    @John Cole: Horrors! Does that hinder your ability to give people the bird with your left hand?

  20. 20
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @John Cole: You really are a bit a general incompetent, aren’t you?

  21. 21
    Petorado says:

    If you want to bump up your Colorado trip, there are great orthopods here who are awesome ACL specialists (it’s one of the most popular skiing injuries.) Plus there are some great caregivers who can tell you what strain of indica or sativa could cure your other ills. In the mean time, you can listen to the Torn ACL’s. Great band name, huh.

  22. 22
    KG says:

    @John Cole: you should have told the story about the finger, and include the picture

  23. 23
    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo) says:

    X ray will be unrevealing. They will put you in a hard brace for several weeks. After you don’t improve, they will finally order an MRI which will show you need surgery.

    Get some oxycontin for the pain.

  24. 24
    zombie rotten mcdonald says:

    Nicely written, and a good reminder.

    My brother has been Un/under-employed for a couple of years, and been timed out on BadgerCare (the Wisconsin version of Medicare); used to be better than the Medicare version, but after Thompson diluted it and TurdWalker refused the Medicaid expansion, he has no alternatives. So Fuck You Very Much, Republican Party and the KochSuckers!

    FWIW, he needs blood pressure monitoring, gout treatment, vision treatment, and probably some some versions of mental therapy. Long term unemployment is a fucking bitch.

  25. 25
    Ernest Pikeman says:

    @Keith P:

    People who’ve never smoked or just done it once just don’t understand what they’re missing. Most of the best times of my life have involved being high or stoned. It takes the weight of the world off your shoulders.

    Good for you. Ain’t the same for everyone. Me for example, it takes me right to a dull stupor and two extra days of noticeably reduced cognition. Didn’t use to be that heavy. Still better than alcohol.

  26. 26
    Amir Khalid says:

    So the point of a blog post which opens with a huge photo of your knee being iced and two paragraphs about said knee is to avoid talking about your knee? If you say so …

  27. 27
    Mandarama says:

    I’m glad to know that I can take weeks or months off from reading here and return to the same place, with familiar episodes like John Cole laid up in yet another pet-related self injury.

    In all seriousness, I tore my ACL six months ago and had to have the surgical reconstruction. It doesn’t sound like a big deal, until you’re doing 6+ months of very intense PT and wanting to cry like a baby over it. They had me doing stuff that people half my age with no injuries might find difficult. So: I very much hope your ACL is intact, and if it’s not, I’m here for ya.

    On the plus side, my new ACL is cadaver tissue, and that can be a great conversation starter or stopper.

  28. 28
    CaseyL says:

    I’m a member of my HOA Board, and tonight was the annual all-owner meeting. One of the couples there, whom we all know pretty well because they used to be on the Board, works at the local public mental health clinic.

    We were all chatting before the meeting began, and the two of them mentioned that the public clinic was, suddenly, very busy.


    Because people who had never had insurance, or had lost their insurance, or had insurance that didn’t cover mental illness… all now had insurance that included mental health care. We talked about people who would now have their depression, their anxiety, their bipolar disorder, treated. People who might be suicidal will now be treated. The couple weren’t upset that their workload had increased so dramatically: they were deeply and sincerely glad of it.

    ACA-Obamacare has made one helluva difference already. Huge, huge difference.

    Also, when I lost my job I went straight to the Washington State Exchange. If I had COBRA’d the plan I had at work, the premium would have been nearly $800 a month. Thanks to the ACA, I have a Silver plan that costs me $200 a month, with tax credit.

    I have a new job (well: will have a new job, starting next Friday) but instead of employer-offered insurance, they’ll be giving me $300 a month toward buying my own plan. I’ll probably stay with the Exchange plan, with the $300 making up for the lost tax credit.

    As Uncle Joe said, passing the ACA was a big fucking deal.

  29. 29
    Mnemosyne says:

    I fully realize how lucky I was that when I tore my ACL, I did it at work, and in a state with a strong worker’s comp system. I did not pay A DIME for anything, including painkillers, physical therapy, surgery (where they put a dead person’s ligament in my knee — thank you, unknown dead person!), more physical therapy, a knee brace (that I never use), and even sent temporary disability checks so I didn’t have to choose between taking time off after surgery and paying the rent.

    Also, if you haven’t torn your ACL before, they’ll probably do a Lachman’s Test and then take an x-ray to confirm it. I still have my MRI pictures around here somewhere, where the orthopedist pointed to the picture and said, You see that little ball of goo there? That used to be your ACL.

    Yeah, thanks, doc. He was a good surgeon, but he didn’t have a lot of bedside manner.

  30. 30
    Mandarama says:

    P.S. I did get the point about health insurance – and it is indeed something to be thankful for, because according to the EOB’s, my little escapade cost about $37,000.

  31. 31
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @John Cole:

    Yup, time to start looking into a death panel, John. Hopefully, an expedited one.

  32. 32
    Mnemosyne says:


    I had my cadaver ACL installed, and then this news broke about two days after the surgery. Fun times. Fortunately, since I was on the opposite coast, my tissue was not one of the contaminated samples, but it was pretty freaky.

  33. 33
    Mandarama says:


    I managed to dance for a couple of songs at a friend’s wedding recently, and the bride came up and said “I bet whoever had that ligament would be glad to know it’s dancing!” Yep, thank you, tissue donor!

  34. 34
    Mnemosyne says:


    Believe it or not, I had the surgery done three months before my own wedding. There’s a picture from the reception that shows me with my wedding dress hiked up above my knee showing off my leg brace to some of the guests. Because I’m Klassy that way. ;-)

  35. 35
    wasabi gasp says:

    Hate the phone. A few years ago the phone rang while I was clipping my toenails. Now I walk with a limp.

  36. 36
    rammalamadingdong says:

    Take a large ziploc bag and fill with 2 parts water 1 part rubbing alcohol and put in freezer tonight. Much better than frozen vegetables.

  37. 37
    NotMax says:

    @John Cole

    A sharp slap served with a side of martyr allusion, the perfect accompaniment to another night of Joan Crawford movies on TCM.

  38. 38
    Mandarama says:

    @Mnemosyne: Duuude…that is hardcore right there. My hat is off to you! Forget having a wedding–I didn’t even want to have a shower if it meant standing up for a long time.

    We’re probably not reassuring our blog host much.

  39. 39
    ruemara says:

    @John Cole: You need a minder. Or a helpa. I get what you’re saying. Before I lost the house, I was walking down to the corner pharm, worrying that I did not have enough for all the meds I’m on and to put gas in my car for work for the week. When I walked in and not one, but ALL, my meds were less than half what I usually paid, thanks to the ACA, the relief was stunning, because I forgot what it was like to not worry.

    I’m now hiding from my GP’s demand I come in for, I dunno, a checkup or some crap or random poking to prove they still have no idea what to do about my bp-then I read your little pic and remembered it was covered. I’m still paying for my little blood spurting escapade of 2012 and all the checkups, specialists, tests, etc. The costs would not have been the same if that had happened this year. Even for someone like me, on employer healthcare, the ACA improved what I’m getting. However, she’ll still have to catch me, I don’t feel like being poked and prodded for a bit.

  40. 40
    Gustopher says:

    Yes, yes, you’re incompetent — you have to torn ACL, sliced tendons and a car in a field… but your cat is back.

    (He will trip you tomorrow, but no need to think about that now)

  41. 41
    NotMax says:


    Or the cat will get a sudden craving for peas and jump from the top of the tower onto the knee.

  42. 42
    Mnemosyne says:


    I was in my mid-30s then and had been in really good shape before the accident, so I bounced back reasonably well. Definitely not quite 100 percent even now, though — I never did get back to my workout schedule and re-gained 15 pounds that I need to get rid of.

    But that first shower after surgery was frickin’ heavenly.

  43. 43
    Yatsuno says:

    @Ernest Pikeman: I’m right there with you. I hypermetabolise it so I end up with a bad headache and no other effects. Hell I don’t even get the damn munchies.

  44. 44
    MattR says:

    so I’m reasonably sure that come Monday or Tuesday, I am going to cover my annual insurance deductible.

    Hey. You made it to February. Congratulations. I hit mine on January 7. But I can’t really complain since it was only $1100.

    It is good to see that the main provisions of the ACA are having a real impact in people’s lives. It is a step forward. I just wish we didn’t live in a country where this was the best that we could do.

  45. 45
    zombie rotten mcdonald says:

    I am almost certain that with that footgear, and the assorted veg on your knee; that no, you are not going to be fucked.

  46. 46
    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo) says:



  47. 47
    zombie rotten mcdonald says:

    Also, while you are making your car retrieval into performance art, I have had to deal with 3 days of a broken water main creating ice glaciers at the end of the driveway making it impossible for us to even get our cars out OF OUR OWN GODDAM DRIVEWAY.

    Stop whining, you big baby.

  48. 48
    mike in dc says:

    I’m sure JC will get to the doctor on his own time, but in the meantime, remember that acronym, PRICE.
    Pain reliever(anti-inflammatory, I’d recommend Ibuprofen, 800 millis does wonders)
    Compression bandages

    From the pic it looks like he’s doing 3 of these things already, but a little compression and pain reliever would help too.

    I had the worst anxiety episodes in my last semester of law school. Hell on earth.

  49. 49
    🎂 Martin says:

    So, Cole has revealed the true source of our skyrocketing health care system costs – pet ownership.

    John, you know, we all want the best for you, but every time you hurt yourself like this, we’re just thankful you were mostly clothed. It’s a big step forward for you. Our pride will light your path.

    Also, I’d think spinach is a poor icing medium – not enough mass/surface area to keep from heating up too fast. Stick with the peas. Tater tots might work pretty well.

  50. 50
    Ruckus says:


    I just wish we didn’t live in a country where this was the best that we could do.

    Thinking about it, when the ACA was proposed I thought well if that’s the best we can get, but compared to even last year, this is damn good. And we are just getting started. I remember Medicare passing and how crappy that was. It still isn’t as good as it should be and only takes care of the olds and some youngsters with specific issues but damn think what it would be like without Medicare. I haven’t seen or heard one story of how horrible the ACA is from anyone who has actually taken the time to check it out and look at it objectively. Yes there have been a very few stories from posters here whose plan now costs more but when push comes to shove it costs more because they actually now have better insurance. And because insurance is the road we’ve been on for 60-70 yrs or more I predict this won’t change for decades more. Probably more regulation, more cost containment, better plans and so on but we have to overcome the conservative side of the aisle and their stubborn stupidity. I’ll even bet that at sometime in the future we won’t have (or need) medicare but something like universal insurance, with the insurance cos getting a small cut for administrating the system. Cost will be based on income with subsidies for those unable to pay. Wait….

  51. 51
    max says:

    @John Cole: Oh, fer fuck’s sake. I will go to a doctor, but can you all stop being so goddamn concerned about my knee, which will be fine

    That’s rather the point, DUMBASS. Your knee will not be fine if you have the problems described.

    And I agree with @GHayduke (formerly lojasmo): X ray will be unrevealing. They will put you in a hard brace for several weeks. After you don’t improve, they will finally order an MRI which will show you need surgery.

    There’s a good chance, given prior injuries, plus possible other non-ACL ligament damage, plus ACL damage, that your knee is time bombed, and you just might blow it apart completely, which means you need to go to the doctor tomorrow to see if they’re going to give you a thigh-to-ankle brace to lock the joint up entirely. (Which is much better than a cane, because once the knee is locked all the pressure is on the bones and not on the remaining functional ligaments.) There’s a reason that NFL players will serious knee injuries usually wind up leaving the game in a wheelchair, even if they managed to walk to the bench.

    (That’s a long-winded way of agreeing with GHayduke and everybody else as well. I’d merely add some kind of steroid shot to the knee region. They can do surgery at your leisure afterwards.)

    [‘Going to be hard to handle your animals if you blow the knee completely and wind up like one of those ladies in Walmart with the scooter.’]

  52. 52

    All I can add is best wishes for a speedy and uneventful recovery, John.

  53. 53
    MattR says:


    Thinking about it, when the ACA was proposed I thought well if that’s the best we can get, but compared to even last year, this is damn good.

    That shows how truly horrific the situation had gotten before the ACA.

    But I agree with your general point that things will continue to get better as we move forward. However, I am also kind of hopeful that within my lifetime the pendulum will stop swinging towards the privitization of essential public services (such as education, health care, prisons, military) and back towards the idea that those services exist to serve the community, not make a profit. Maybe we can in fact get for profit insurance companies out of the health care business. Those gov’t or non-profit programs can be efficient and innovative without having the profit motive of the free market pushing them. It just requires that the people running and staffing them (and overseeing them) are actually interested in making those programs work efficiently, instead of believing that they shouldn’t exist at all (or that they are a good place to give someone a job to replay a political favor)

  54. 54
    Batocchio says:

    Crap, John, best of luck. (And I buy that spinach all the time.)

  55. 55
    MattR says:


    (And I buy that spinach all the time.)

    For dietary, and not medicinal, purposes I hope.

  56. 56
    Capt. Seaweed says:

    Spinach? Don’t they sell frozen arugula in that half-ass state?

  57. 57
    Yatsuno says:

    @MattR: Frozen spinach makes the best spanakopita. So much easier too, considering the amount of fresh necessary to just get a cup of cooked veggie.

  58. 58
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    O/T: Ed, over at Gin and Tacos, has a new post with a nice shout-out to Cole’s cruise ship rant of the other night, with his own embellishments.

  59. 59
    Ruckus says:

    Oh I agree that it is possible if not very likely that the government could deliver better overall healthcare. But in this country we have a large percentage of the population that hates government. And not totally without merit. That hate is usually misdirected and way too all inclusive but it is also real. And we have a very capitalistic culture. So it is not impossible to change and have the government run healthcare(the VA for example) but it is very slow to turn around to something better. Other countries have private insurance that is highly regulated and cost contained and much lower costs so it is possible. It may well be cheaper to have the government do all the work but I just don’t see this happening, too many people would revolt or at least act like they are going to. To even try to put that together today, I just don’t see that happening. And while we may swing back towards the left I think it would take a monumental swing to get to universal health care without private insurance unless it could be shown that it would be dramatically better and cheaper. And the only way to do that is to implement it. My bet is not gunna happen.

  60. 60
    Tim in SF says:

    I used to chase my cat all over the neighborhood. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

  61. 61
    Anoniminous says:

    Do I like ObamaCare?

    No. IMO it is way too little and too much of a give-away to the goddamn insurance industry.

    But also, not being an idiot, I realize it is a step in the right direction. It’s better than that rip-off of a system we had before. And millions of people are starting to get the care they need and deserve.

  62. 62
    wasabi gasp says:

    Whatever you do, don’t forget to stop falling.

  63. 63
    PsiFighter37 says:

    Damn, John – hope you feel better. Feel like you scrape yourself up quite a bit!

  64. 64
    Rudi says:

    What’s the latest on Steve?

  65. 65
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    John Cole,
    Is there something for which you haven’t forgiven yourself?

  66. 66
    Wyrm1 says:

    I feel really bad, but I saw this post about John’s knee, and immediately kept scrolling to see if Steve was found. (Congratulations on him coming back).

    Hope it’s just a sprain.

  67. 67
    cermet says:

    Very sorry to hear of your injury – hope it isn’t anywhere near as bad as you suspect. For your comfort – be happy that it isn’t organ failure – that isn’t something that really can ever heal and is very fatal at some point. I know only too well.

  68. 68
    sparrow says:

    @zombie rotten mcdonald: Heh. Here in Balmore, it snowed just a tiny bit two nights ago. My boyfriend came home and stupidly parked on a slope, on a patch of ice. He realized his mistake when instead of reversing to get closer to the curb he slid forward and hit the car in front of him. Oops! Next morning we spent an hour trying to Macguiver the car out with blocks and wedges, paper bags under the tires, etc. Finally had to sacrifice a yoga mat, rolled into a log, so the tire could get traction. Fun times!

  69. 69
    danielx says:

    Inquiring minds want to know: is there any activity in the course of which Cole cannot injure himself? And yes, that does include walking and chewing gun at the same time.

    All the noises Steve was making upon his return last evening were expressions of enormous self-satisfaction, which suits well with his enormous size.

  70. 70
    sm*t cl*de says:

    Take a large ziploc bag and fill with 2 parts water 1 part rubbing alcohol and put in freezer tonight.

    I only come to Balloon Juice for these useful cocktail recipes.

  71. 71
    WereBear says:

    In the words of the Ttoggs:

    John Cole, I think I live you,
    But I want to know for sure.
    C’mon, hold me right,
    You move me.

    You are just the darnedest ex-Republican in the World. Get better. The animals need you. So do we.

  72. 72
    cmorenc says:

    Fortunately, ACLs can be reconstructed using a calf-tendon. The downside is that the rehab process can be a bear – you get a normally-functioning knee within about 6 months, but the first six to eight weeks of the rehab process is, well…a real bear. I helped my older daughter with her ACL rehab after she tore hers in a skiing injury and had to have ACL reconstructive surgery on her right knee.

    For the first four to six weeks of rehab, frozen peas aren’t enough – you may get an “ice machine” that circulates a jacket of ice-filled water around your knee to tamp down inflammation from happening while your knee is immobilized by a brace while you sleep.

  73. 73
    different-church-lady says:

    @John Cole: Don’t let the ninnies get you down, John. I, for one, (and maybe only one) was thinking that you’re one of the only people in modern America who deal with physical injuries without complete flapping panicked rushes to the emergency room every time you bump into something.

  74. 74
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @cmorenc: Mine was reconstructed with bits of hamstring. Much of the rehab was devoted working on redeveloping it.

  75. 75
    HeartlandLiberal says:

    I may have mentioned this in some previous thread on John’s accident prone nature, but it is always worth mentioning again.

    When a teenager I read and was profoundly impressed by the book “Congo Kitabu” by Jean-Pierre Hallet.

    This from the summary in one review I found online just now:

    Hallet, son of a Belgian Congolese artist, returned to his birthplace as a government agronomist and worked among tribes all over that vast colonial nation. Because he was a large and healthy young man–250 lbs., 6’5″”–he managed to survive the tropical disease contracted on his first safari; and from then on his adventures grew more exotic. He became an unwitting cannibal; lived with the Masai warriors and learned to spear himself a lion; “”married”” an African male; had his hand blown off while trying to dynamite fish to feed starving tribesmen; drove 200 miles to a hospital after the accident: wrestled an attacking leopard into submission; lived with the Pygmies as one of them and then organized them into an agricultural people in six months after fifty years of failure before him; tamed a lion, and a rhino; herded two elephants across the Congo.

  76. 76
    HeartlandLiberal says:

    Oh, and John, do not think I am unsympathetic.

    Within two months of retiring three years ago, I fell and broke my left ankle. While cutting the grass. This only six months after meniscus repair surgery on the knee of the other leg. So I had crutches to hobble on while two neighbor boys helped me get to the car to go to the emergency room. Then of course within another year, meniscus repair on the left knee, the one I broke the ankle on.

    So here I am, merrily hobbling into old age. But I am grateful for the modern surgical techniques, trust me. The knees may and leg still hurt, but I am doing 1.5 hour stints at 3 mph on the treadmill, which at 68 next month is not to shabby.,

  77. 77
    different-church-lady says:

    @HeartlandLiberal: See, now that’s first world privilege: no matter how bad my life gets I will never find myself resorting to TNT as a food gathering technique.

  78. 78
    Paul in KY says:

    @GHayduke (formerly lojasmo): I wish they still did that thing where they inject the blue dye into your damaged knee, so the non-bone parts will show up on x-ray.

    Nothing better than that…

  79. 79
    call me ishmael says:

    @John Cole: Late to the party here, and apparently off-topic, but frozen vegetables are a waste of time for knee icing. I’ve had 8 knee surgeries now (ACL’s, scopes, meniscus, etc) and to really get the freeze heres what I do:

    Get a bunch of cheap styrofoam cups. The small ones you get in 1970’s coffee machines or at church socials.

    Fill them to the top with water. Put in freezer until they are blocks of ice.

    Remove and cut away the top inch of the cup exposing the ice. Hold the cup by the bottom and rub the ice over your knee. Keep it moving over the affected area.

    It is about 50 times as effective as a bag of peas. So much so that it is a real effort of will to do for more than about 90 seconds, but it works great if you can keep it up.

  80. 80
    Paul in KY says:

    @Yatsuno: Feel sorry for you & Ernest.

  81. 81
    Paul in KY says:

    @cmorenc: Me and ye old cybex machine had a thing going for about 6 or 8 months.

  82. 82
    Denali says:

    Hope you’re better soon, John.

  83. 83
    Sherparick says:

    Great post John. Get well soon. You need to stay mobile to keep up with Steve (the prodigal whose return from his prowl I think has done wonder for your mood.) For you peace of mind the next time Steve escapes:

  84. 84
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:


    You and I must be close in age. As a teenager I, too, was very impressed by Hallet’s book.

  85. 85
    lectriclady says:

    @Paul in KY: That’s how I found out I have a severe iodine allergy. Won’t get ino the gory details about the allergic reaction.

  86. 86
    Tokyokie says:

    Crap! That’s the second photo of Cole wearing the same footwear as I own! And I, too, am fat, clumsy and have frequently messed up my right knee! Wish he’d stop following my example.

  87. 87
    shelly says:

    Dammit, Cole. I had to scroll down to the previous night’s post to find out if Steve got back alright? You should have had it blazoned across the top of the blog!

  88. 88
    Avery Greynold says:

    I hear the Republican health care plan would cover Nancy Boy Syndrome.

  89. 89
    Quackerz says:

    Just had to come out of lurkitude for this. Mix up a solution of 3 parts water to 1 rubbing alcohol and put in two zip-lock (don’t use cheap bags) bags. This will freeze to a firm slush that can be molded around the injury and can be used over and over. Every klutz should keep one ready in the freezer.

  90. 90
    danielx says:


    Yup, it’s more like entertainment in this country. Arkansas fly fishing – throw some dynamite and see the fish fly.

    Edit: did I mention it’s snowing? Again?

  91. 91
    kindness says:

    Psychic pain. I don’t have that. I think we’re all Bozos on this bus but that is a feature not a bug. Psychiatric observations, oddities and eccentricities, it’s what keeps us reading blogs.

  92. 92
    HeartlandLiberal says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: This February I will hit the 68 mile marker on my birthday. I have been learning to play basic guitar again, and have decided my present this year will be a new Seagull S6. Switching from nylon to steel strings will be hard at first, but worth the effort.

    I have always appreciated John Wooden’s quote:

    “Learn today as though you were to live forever; live today as if you were to die tomorrow. “

  93. 93
    Paul in KY says:

    @lectriclady: Jeezus! They injected you & then found out you were allergic to the stuff. Guess mine wasn’t so bad after all…

  94. 94
    JustRuss says:

    Good perspective. I’ve had a broken leg and crippling depression (fortunately not simultaneously) I’ll take the leg pain any day. Glad you’ve got your head screwed on straight–for the most part–these days, and hope the Truck That Refused to be Rescued doesn’t drive you batty.

  95. 95
    Ruckus says:

    At least the picture is pretty good.

  96. 96
    LanceThruster says:

    That pic looks like some particularly f#cked-up specialty fetish pron (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

Comments are closed.