Sad News

My crockpot died today while making chicken and dumplings. I has a sad.

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93 replies
  1. 1
    mclaren says:

    Too bad your crackpot didn’t die. Then we wouldn’t have to suffer through any more posts from burnspbesq.

  2. 2
    Aji says:

    It’s not sitting out in a field, though, is it?

    So there’s improvement.

    Seriously, I sympathize. Couldn’t live without mine. Okay, I exaggerate, but not by much.

  3. 3
    Roger Moore says:


    Pot to kettle: you’re blah.

    ETA: I’d guess you can get a replacement slow cooker for a very reasonable price at your local second-hand store.

  4. 4
    Tom the First says:

    Ashes to ashes. Mush to mush.

  5. 5
    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q) says:

    Well, at least your wounds are healing. I was concerned because scratches can be nasty, and yours sounded deep and long.

    A funny that most here have probably seen long ago, assuming no one here created it:

    Thought this was uncanny…

    Did you know that the words “race car” spelled backwards still spells “race car”?

    And that “eat” is the only word that, if you take the first letter and move it to the last, spells its own past tense, “ate”?

    And if you rearrange the letters in “Tea Party Republicans,” and add just a few more letters, it spells: “Shut the fuck up you free-loading, progress-blocking, benefit-grabbing, resource-sucking, violent hypocrites, and deal with the fact that you nearly wrecked the country under Bush and that our president is black, so try and get over it.”

    Isn’t that interesting?

    And what did ultimately happen with the car? I missed the story’s end.

  6. 6
    Tommy says:

    I want to mock you for having a crockpot. I did most people until I got one in my late 30s. Then I was like wow, you can do some amazing things with it.

  7. 7
    efgoldman says:

    @Roger Moore:

    I’d guess you can get a replacement slow cooker for a very reasonable price at your local second-hand store.

    Hell, they’re not that expensive new.

  8. 8
    John Cole says:

    Oh, the car is still in the field. The farmer and I are waiting until the ground firms up.

  9. 9
    shelly says:

    The farmer and I are waiting until the ground firms up.

    You’d think frozen solid would be firm enough.

  10. 10
    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q) says:

    @shelly: And a clever 12 year old could surely find a tumescence joke in there somewhere.

  11. 11
    PaulW says:

    burial with full honors.

    It died as it lived. Cooking.

    (plays Taps)

  12. 12
    PsiFighter37 says:

    @John Cole: Hasn’t the polar vortex firmed that up enough by now? Or are you close enough that those funky chemicals that leaked may have softened it up?

  13. 13
    dp says:

    Sorry, condolences.

    I’d suggest the replacement be a Cuisinart. They rock.

  14. 14
    Tommy says:

    @efgoldman: Go to the second hand store. I have a $220 coffee maker. A friend of mine got it for $20 in the box at Goodwill. Looked like it had never been used.

    Given I don’t think crockpots get to that level, but you never know :).

  15. 15
    Tommy says:

    @dp: I am a huge Cuisinart fan. That coffee maker I mentioned Cuisinart. Take care of it and it will last you a lifetime.

  16. 16
    Joseph Nobles says:

    I got a $12 breadmaker at the secondhand store. I use it mainly to mix dough now (I got tired of that square pone of bread), but it works well enough to stave me off from buying a new Kitchenaid mixer.

  17. 17
    Glocksman says:


    Cole’s single, so the 4.5qt Crock-Pot® for $20 at Target may work just fine.
    I have one, and it’s great for soups and roasts that serve 1 or 2 people.

    I would have bought a bigger one, but the food would probably spoil before I could eat all of it.

  18. 18
    jl says:

    With no serious injury or maiming of Cole? Whew, that is hard to believe, but good news.

  19. 19
    Pogonip says:

    Cooking stuff tends to go on sale in winter, you can get a shiny new crock pot cheap. It will be Chinese junk, however. A thrift store one might last longer.

  20. 20

    Confession time, I have never used a crock pot in my life and never missed it either. I have a well equipped kitchen and a well stocked pantry. No rice cooker either.

  21. 21

    @jl: Can crock pots explode? JC should go with a pressure cooker this time.

  22. 22
    donnah says:

    Mine died, too, just a week ago. It was at least 25 years old, so it lived a good life. It was an old Rival brand.

    So I didn’t want to spend $100 or more on a new one. I got a Crockpot brand slow cooker with a ceramic lift out crock and brushed stainless still exterior. It isn’t fancy, but so far I really like it. I can program it to low or high, set the time, and when the time is up, the cooker switches automatically to a Warm setting. I cooked chicken in it the first day and it was tender and juicy, but not mushy. And I cooked a pot roast a couple of days ago and it absorbed the garlic and onion beautifully.

    This time of year, when it’s sub-zero out there, a crock pot simmering with savory goodness inside is a dream come true.

  23. 23
    🎂 Martin says:

    My crockpot died today while making chicken and dumplings. I has a sad.

    I’m pretty sure Obama had it killed. Kristallnacht begins.

  24. 24
    Aji says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: No, don’t. Just don’t.

  25. 25
    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism says:

    No, no, the replacement should be a Ninja.


  26. 26
    Glocksman says:


    Cole has such hard luck at times that I imagine him being the real life version of Arsenio Hall in this clip from Amazon Women on the Moon

  27. 27
    Tommy says:

    I have a well equipped kitchen and a well stocked pantry. No rice cooker either. Oh rice cookers. I might eat rice with like a quarter of my meals. I eat a ton of different rice, and not just white or long grain brown. I could not live without it.

  28. 28
    Pogonip says:

    @donnah: Do you live on one of the coasts? Here in the Midwest, I’m not sure you could spend $100 on a crockpot if you tried. Maybe at Nordstrom’s.

  29. 29
    glory b says:

    @Glocksman: That’s why god made freezers.

  30. 30

    @Tommy: So do I, but I cook them all without a rice cooker, you just need a regular sauce pan to cook almost any kind of rice.

  31. 31
    jeffreyw says:

    @PaulW: Nonsense, man, This is W Virginia – he’ll set it in the side yard atop a cinder block and grow petunias inside it.

  32. 32
    gbear says:

    My cordless phone system died today. I have a 30-year-old wall phone in the kitchen that is still working, but I can’t call out on any of the other phones in my house. I had been thinking about replacing it when Amazon had a daily deal last weekend, but then decided why replace something that’s still working. It cost me $30 more when I ordered the damned replacement today.

  33. 33
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    This is what happens when you try to shave a crock pot’s ass.

  34. 34
    Tommy says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: and water. Look I agree. I just think for folks that don’t each much rice, and I guess I should have said this, a rice cooker is a nice place to start. I mean they do make rice, or gains in general, that don’t come in a bag :).

  35. 35
    gbear says:

    @John Cole:

    The farmer and I are waiting until the ground firms up.

    Soft ground in January is such an alien concept. I can’t get my mind around it…Wow.

  36. 36
    mainmata says:

    @John Cole: In these Polar Vortex freezing temps the ground is not “firmed up” in WVA? Are you kidding me? It is pretty firmed up here in MD. That said crock pots are a) pretty inexpensive new and b) ridiculously cheap used in places like Restore (Habitat for Humanity). So should not be a crisis.

  37. 37
    Narcissus says:

    That car is a now a permanent fixture in that field. People will give each other directions using it as a milestone.

    “If you get to where you see a Subaru parked in a field, you’ve gone too far.”

  38. 38
    Keith P says:

    Have you thought about taking donations to come up with the $20 to buy a new one?

  39. 39
    Glocksman says:


    I’ve had good luck over the years with Panasonic cordless phones.
    I dropped landline service and gave away my old phone and bought this Panasonic Bluetooth Link2Cell set to use with my Nexus 5.

    So far it works perfectly.

    Nice thing about it is that the batteries are just Ni-MH triple A rechargeables that you can buy anywhere cheap, instead of proprietary battery packs that you pay $$$ for.

  40. 40
    WaterGirl says:

    Am I the only one here whose heart skipped a beat when they saw the title of this thread?

  41. 41
    Glocksman says:


    Or weed.

  42. 42
    WaterGirl says:

    As long as were talking about crockpots, an anyone here recommend a really good slow cooker / crockpot cookbook?

  43. 43
    MomSense says:


    I found a brand new zojirushi rice cooker that retails for almost $400 at goodwill for $10. It was still wrapped in the box. I was practically dancing at the store.

  44. 44
    tybee says:

    i have had a rice steamer for decades. we love it.
    it’s kind of a double boiler thingee.
    is that the same thing as a “rice cooker”?

  45. 45

    @Tommy: I was teasing. I just don’t like to use a lot of gadgets while cooking. I am pretty old school. I do use a blender, a food processor and a coffee grinder for spices.

  46. 46
    Corner Stone says:

    Anyone who knocks a rice cooker does not know what they are talking about.

  47. 47
    WaterGirl says:

    @MomSense: I used to stay away from rice because it always seemed to be either hard or mushy. Then someone (maybe here?) recommended toasting rice in a bit of butter and then adding the water. Then I found some rice from Italy and tried that, and oh my gosh, best rice ever.

    I haven’t made any other rice, or cooked it in any other way, since.

  48. 48
    MikeJ says:


    That car is a now a permanent fixture in that field.

    When the oceans rise to cover West Virginia, that car will be the base of a reef. He just pre-sunk it.

  49. 49

    @Corner Stone: I have used a rice cooker, my parents have it, I just don’t think I need it. Haven’t we had this rice cooker conversation before?

  50. 50
    Corner Stone says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: Probably. I was right then, and I’m right now.
    Rice snobs who disdain using a tool that makes perfect rice, every time, and can be completely cleaned in under three minutes don’t gain much traction with me.

  51. 51
    Corner Stone says:

    I have a crockpot also, but it makes more food than I can eat in a week so I normally don’t use it much.

  52. 52

    @Corner Stone: I have nothing against rice cookers or people who use them. Counter space is limited and one has to make choices, that’s all.

  53. 53
    Corner Stone says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: Sure. That’s how it starts. Then pretty soon, dipsy do, and we’re all eating gruel. Is that what you want? Well, do ya!?
    Darn counter space redistributionistas.

  54. 54
    OldDave says:

    My wife wants to know – did the crockpot die trying to shave the cat’s ass?

    Edit: I missed Villago Delenda Est’s contribution. Sorry.

  55. 55
    gbear says:

    @Glocksman: The 30 year old phone that’s still working is a Panasonic, but so is the cordless set that broke today. I still like the brand though, and the new phone I ordered is a Panasonic.

  56. 56
    chopper says:

    what a crock.

    I have a crock pot/pressure cooker combo from cuisinart. works a treat.

  57. 57
    donnah says:


    Oh, I’m in Ohio, shopping at Amazon with a gift card. You’d be surprised by how many expensive ones there are, over $100. Cuisinart, DeLonghi, Calphalon, Breville, Crock Pot.

    I wanted one that was programmable, and that would switch automatically to a warming function. It’s good, and while retail was $59, I got it for $39. So, a deal!

  58. 58

    @chopper: That sounds interesting. I have an ancient pressure cooker that my husband got from India, it hisses, I am slightly afraid of it.

  59. 59
    MomSense says:


    I cook mostly brown rice and it took a bit of experimentation to get the ratios right. The nice thing about the rice cooker is that I can set the timer so it is cooked and hot at the right time. On the weekends I enjoy making risottos and the things that I don’t have time to do during the week. I have started using a,crock pot for soups. I throw the ingredients in and dinner is ready when I get home!

  60. 60
    Pogonip says:

    @donnah: A deal indeed! Congratulations!

  61. 61
    Pogonip says:

    @Narcissus: “Backtrack till you see a white house with green shutters. There’s usually a Maine Coon cat with a shaved butt in the yard. Hang a left.”

  62. 62
    dww44 says:

    I almost wish my crockpot would die, seeing as how it dates itself back to the dawn of the crockpot era of the late 60’s and early 70’s when the color choices were avocado green (ours) and an orangey red, whose color name escapes me. Can’t see replacing something that actually works although it’s shape (more vertical than horizontal) makes it somewhat inflexible for pork and beef roasts. Plus it’s not the easiest thing to clean.

  63. 63
    trollhattan says:

    Crockpot: hillbilly sous vide machine.

  64. 64
    geg6 says:

    I have extras if you need one, Cole.

    In crockpot news, tomorrow I am making pulled pork with chipotle sauce in one of my many crockpots. Seriously Cole, I have four or five large crockpots. Commit to a visit and one or two of those can be yours.

  65. 65
    gbear says:

    @dww44: Burnt Orange?

  66. 66
    WaterGirl says:


    That car is a now a permanent fixture in that field. People will give each other directions using it as a milestone.

    “If you get to where you see a Subaru parked in a field, you’ve gone too far.”

    I thought your comment was awesome. That is all.

  67. 67
    revrick says:

    Will the crockpot be cream-ated?

  68. 68
    revrick says:

    @Tom the First: Excellent!

  69. 69
    Randy P says:

    I’m trying to imagine how you kill a crockpot short of nuclear strike, and my imagination is failing me.

  70. 70
    Honus says:

    @John Cole: I remember back in ’83 I was cutting a load of firewood to sell (for $45) and my 79 4WD Ford stepside got hung up in a muddy field. Two other trucks came to pull it out and left after they both got stuck and had to pull each other out. I went back a week later after the ground had frozen and it was frozen in place and still wouldn’t move. I waited another month or so and then when the field had thawed and dried out got in it and drove it home. I’ll come up in March and drive that Subaru out for you if you want.

  71. 71
    p.a. says:

    @dww44: I have heard the newfangled crock pots with the removable crock only heat from the bottom, whereas the old 1 piece cookers heated bottom and sides and were superior. Anyone know if this is true? My relic still works, but I’d like one with a timer.

  72. 72

    @Randy P: Fallout from the cat butt shaving incident of 2014?

  73. 73
    rikyrah says:

    I love this thread. The sadness in this post for an appliance, I totally get. I felt the same way when my rice cooker died. I just looked at it for awhile,trying to will it back to life.

  74. 74
    Comrade Mary says:

    @WaterGirl: Anything from Judith Finlayson would be great. Almost all of her recipes have a little prep — brown meat or sauté onions — which really annoys people who prefer dump recipes, but that little bit of extra effort and one extra pan to clean is worth it for the quality of her results.

  75. 75
    Jay C says:


    I call BS on that “Cuisinart will last a lifetime” crap : just yesterday, I had to go replace my Cuisinart DC-1200-series coffeemaker: which, after 4 or so years, just stopped making coffee Friday morning (all the lights were on: apparently, only the heater functions had failed: kind of “enough” for a coffeemaker!). The folks at my local store were sympathetic enough: but for some unknown reason, they had no record of my purchase there: so: another $95 gone…

  76. 76
    Comrade Mary says:

    Here’s one of her non-slow-cooker recipes (it’s her recipe of the week, which will change, of course).

  77. 77
    BethanyAnne says:

    I like The Sweethome for recommendations. They recommend the Hamilton Beach 33967. I bought one last week. Well, they have redesigned the handles, and I didn’t get the new one. I got the 33966 instead. Same design as the 67, but without the “lock the lid down” feature for travelling. 50 bucks from Newegg, not bad.

  78. 78
    Steeplejack says:


    Crackpot, meet crackkettle.

  79. 79
    Steeplejack says:


    Too bad the “First World problems” thread was yesterday.

  80. 80
    dww44 says:

    @gbear: Yep, that may be it. Thanks.

  81. 81
    dww44 says:

    @p.a.: I’ve heard that as well. Can attest that my oldie heats throughout, i.e. bottom and sides.

  82. 82
    dww44 says:

    @Jay C: I agree and can go you one better with your Cuisinart experience. Mine up and died one month after the one year anniversary/warranty. It was great while it worked. I did note when I researched its replacement that Consumer Reports no longer rated it very well. I think there were lots of purchasers who had the same experience.

    Unfortunately, I replaced it with a Food Network coffeemaker sold at Kohl’s. I now wish it would croak, mostly because the glass carafe has a black plastic lid that cannot be removed. Difficult to fit into my dishwasher.

  83. 83
    Karla says:

    I have milk heating in my crock pot overnight in the first step of a simple process to have yogurt by the afternoon. As soon as it’s done, I’ll clean it out to make beef stew overnight. It would be useful to save the spare crock from a broken crockpot heater unit, because it would allow moving forward with a second recipe while the first crock was still in use. (I have another crock pot, but it’s bigger and more useful for when I have company.)

    I really like my rice cooker. The steamer tray inset is great for vegetables or potstickers (which I made and froze when cabbages came in my CSA share).

  84. 84
    Batocchio says:


    Slow Cooker Revolution comes highly recommended by a couple of friends of mine. I was eyeing a few recipes in my copy last night, but haven’t tried them out yet myself. Meanwhile, Alton Brown’s slow cooker hummus recipe is pretty good, but I’ve since found an even better (non-slow-cooker) one.

  85. 85
    Tripod says:

    I have three of the things of varying sizes and unknown provenance. I’ve never fired all them up at once. Hmmm…. Superbowl…..

  86. 86
    Steeplejack says:


    Not Your Mother’s Slow Cooker Cookbook is very good. It has lots of supplemental information on equipment, general techniques and adapting recipes to the slow cooker.

  87. 87
    Steeplejack says:


    Harvest Gold.

  88. 88
    patty says:

    @dww44: i have a harvest gold rival cp that i/we received for a wedding gift in 1975. the husbands thankfully gone but that crock pot is still going strong.

    btw, i have a cuckoo rice cooker. its korean and it is amazing! my korean neighbor’s rice was so dang good i asked her how she did it and she took me in and showed me her cookers. she had two; the cuckoo and a zohrushu (sp). she said the cuckoo made better rice. it cooks under pressure and i’m telling you you never will eat better rice in your life.

  89. 89
    PaulW says:


    Forget it, Jeff. It’s Chinaware…

  90. 90
    Fred says:

    That is sad. How are the chicken and dumplings taking it?

  91. 91
    dww44 says:

    @patty : Almost as old as mine. I’ve never heard of cuckoo rice cookers. Checked them out and they are apparently the Mercedes- Benz of the rice cooker world.

  92. 92
    WaterGirl says:

    @Comrade Mary: @Batocchio: @Steeplejack:

    Thank you thank you for the recommendations on the slow cooker cookbooks. What a nice surprise to find them when I got up this morning!

  93. 93
    rl harrington says:

    i love my combination ninja crockpot roaster oven
    just the right size and breeze to cleean

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