Oooooooooook-lahoma, where the derp goes sweeping down the plain!

The new session of the OK legislature isn’t even a week old, and we’re off to the races!

In the wake of the OK National Guard divesting itself completely of the responsibility and capability to issue ID cards to ANY member or dependent in order to avoid issuing ID cards to same sex married Guard personnel, and the recent ruling in the Federal District Court in Tulsa striking down Oklahoma’s laws against gay marriage, a bill has been introduced in the legislature to ban the state of Oklahoma from recognizing any marriages at all.

OKLAHOMA CITY -State lawmakers are considering throwing out marriage in Oklahoma.

The idea stems from a bill filed by Rep. Mike Turner (R-Edmond). Turner says it’s an attempt to keep same-sex marriage illegal in Oklahoma while satisfying the U.S. Constitution. Critics are calling it a political stunt while supporters say it’s what Oklahomans want.

A State District Judge has ruled a law requiring parental consent or a prescription from a doctor for teens to purchase OTC emergency contraceptives violates the state constitution:

The law, contained in House Bill 2226, prevented girls under the age of 17 from getting Plan B One-Step without first seeing a doctor.

The drug is also known as levonorgestrel. It is taken after sexual intercourse to prevent pregnancy, but is not capable of terminating an existing pregnancy.

Oklahoma County District Judge Lisa Davis issued a temporary injunction to block the law last August.

Davis on Thursday said that the law did not adhere to the single-subject provision of the state constitution.

I’ve noted before that frequently the legislature will waste time and money passing laws that are popular with certain segments of the population in such a was as to violate the state constitution and therefore be void.  Violating the single-subject amendment–laws may only address one subject– is the easiest way to do this.

A proposed law would allow persons to carry firearms openly without a license in the state of Oklahoma.  Currently the only legal way for a gun owner to carry his personal weapon is to take the training and pass the background check and pay the fees to get a concealed carry permit.

OKLAHOMA CITY — State Sen. Nathan Dahm has filed a bill that would allow people to carry weapons openly in Oklahoma without a license.

The Tulsa Republican filed Senate Bill 1473 and titled it the “Piers Morgan Constitutional Right to Keep and Bear Arms Without Infringement.”

In return, Morgan has invited Dahm via social media to come on his television show to discuss the issue. Dahm accepted and said he will appear Monday night.

I wonder if it ever occurs to these jackasses that the reason real estate is so cheap here might have something to do with the fact that millions of people don’t want to live here.

86 replies
  1. 1
    chopper says:

    why do you keep trying, OK? you’ll never beat Texas or Florida.

  2. 2
    Tommy says:

    I wonder if it ever occurs to these jackasses that the reason real estate is so cheap here might have something to do with the fact that millions of people don’t want to live here.

    I wonder the same thing, but maybe people want to live in a state that does this kind of stuff. My town isn’t that liberal, yet when I go to City Council meetings they are talking about passing laws that make MORE people and businesses want to move here. Not less.

  3. 3
    Pogonip says:

    If Oklahoma outlaws marriage, what happens when married Oklahomans file their taxes? What do they do while the law is wending its way to the Supreme Court? Is angering millions of straight, married taxpayers worth the political cost to the Republicans?

    I think Oklahoma Republicans are trying to kill a fly with a cannon and will end up blowing the party’s foot off.

  4. 4
    Pogonip says:

    P.S. and don’t that just shave the cat’s ass.

  5. 5
    The Dangerman says:


    you’ll never beat Texas or Florida.

    Ha! They can pass a law that any woman of child bearing age that dies for any reason be placed on life support ASAP to verify there isn’t a fetus involved. That’ll show those damn Texans.

  6. 6
    MikeJ says:

    Congratulations! Your children are now bastards!

  7. 7
    Pogonip says:

    P. P. S. Tommy’s comment about wanting more people to move to a place made me wonder–what happened with those Teabaggers who were wanting to build a sort of walled medieval city (in the Dakotas, I think)? Maybe Oklahoma is chasing the Teabagger-with-money demographic?

  8. 8
    Seth says:

    And everyone said gays would ruin marriage.

  9. 9
    RobertDSC-Power Mac G5 Dual says:


  10. 10
    Tommy says:

    @Pogonip: I am pretty darn political but I like to think I am also rational. I just don’t see why passing laws like this is helpful. Now I am sure OK is way more conservative then where I live, but I am still willing to bet there are more than one or two liberals in the state. Heck I bet closer to 35-40% of the entire population.

  11. 11
    WaterGirl says:

    I just made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies that were so dry and boring that I had to go back and look to see if I had left out an ingredient. I did not. Anybody have a good recipe?

  12. 12
    Punchy says:

    I’m confused. Carrying without a license means that anyone, anywhere in OK can have a gun in his waistband? No restrictions at all? Can the scary urban blahs do this too? Ah hahahhaha! I do crack myself up sometimes.

  13. 13
    WaterGirl says:

    @Punchy: Perhaps there are no urban blahs in OK?

  14. 14
    Tommy says:

    @WaterGirl: I wish. I am something of a foodie and I love to cook, but honestly baking isn’t something I am remotely good at.

  15. 15
    Tommy says:

    @Punchy: I don’t know what gun owners this law is speaking to. Almost everybody I know hunts. I don’t. Fired a gun twice. I like wild game and have asked to go hunting with them. They openly laugh at me. They know I know nothing about guns, much less gun safety, and there is no way in hell they’d ever hand me one without training. These are the gun owners I know. They’d be terrified if I was just allowed to walk around town with a gun.

  16. 16
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Pogonip: the gambit is that they’ll blame the gays. And there’s a good chance that their voters will. Those that won’t were probably not their voters anyway.

  17. 17
    Amir Khalid says:

    Wait, wait. Does the legislation annul all currently existing marriages, or just forbid people from getting married while recognising marriages before a certain deadline? What about all the legal contracts that people enter into as couples, and the right to make medical decisions for an incapacitated spouse, and such? And doesn’t banning marriage itself violate the US and Oklahoma state constitutions? And what the hell kind of fucked-up government bans marriage itself?

  18. 18
    Ken says:

    Is Rep. Turner married? If so, is his wife OK with becoming his ex-wife, and does she plan to keep living with him as his baby-momma?

  19. 19
    kdaug says:


    If Oklahoma outlaws marriage, only married outlaws will have Oklahoma.

    Or something.

  20. 20
    Amir Khalid says:

    Doesn’t giving everyone the right to carry a gun, even without a licence, void the requirement for a licence to own the gun in the first place? Or does that law just void the requirement for a carry permit?

  21. 21
    dmsilev says:

    Well, they always did say that same-sex marriage would destroy “the institution of marriage”. The exact method of destruction was a bit of a surprise though. Them gay folks sure is clever.

  22. 22
    Schlemizel says:


    Don’t have time to look right now, sorry. I’d suggest you may have wanted to use a bit more butter and flour to get chewy cookies. Also dark brown sugar tends to make them chewier too.

    I happen to love the taste of cinnamon with chocolate so I’d suggest adding 1/2 tsp of cinnamon to the dough.

    If I remember I’ll dig up some good ones tomorrow & post in a open thread. If I forget feel free to remind me as I have really bad CRS and know it so reminders don’t hurt my feelings

  23. 23
    kdaug says:

    @Amir Khalid: I’m calling it the Shack&Shag Law. It’s OK’s twisted way to try to get one up on CO and WA

  24. 24
    Tommy says:

    @dmsilev: Yeah that is what I keep thinking. Who knew how clever they were.

  25. 25
    dmsilev says:

    Also, too, this is roughly the maturity of a 3 year old in the middle of a temper tantrum: “If I can’t have _all_ of this, than no-one can have _any_!”. Would threatening to send the legislators to their rooms without dessert help?

  26. 26
    Tommy says:

    OT. Watching Karen Finney on my DVR. She just had a great line, talking about the fact recent polls show the thinking that lower income people are lazy. She quoted the salary of a coal miner and said:

    Next time you see a coal miner walk up to them and say they are lazy to their face and see how that works out.


  27. 27
    Davis X. Machina says:

    How much freedom™ can you pack into one rather thinly populated state?

    (Freedom™ is a registered trademark of the Republican National Committee. Used with permission. All rights reserved.)

  28. 28

    Well, so much for the ‘preserving the sanctity of marriage’ line.

  29. 29
    Ripley says:


    Is Rep. Turner married?

    Google him for an image – I’m guessing he hasn’t even had his first kiss yet.

  30. 30
    gnomedad says:

    State lawmakers are considering throwing out marriage in Oklahoma.

    When I first glimpsed this earlier, I assumed it was guerrilla theater by some Democrat. If this guy is serious, I say go for it. I see awesome backfire potential here.

  31. 31
    YellowJournalism says:

    And how would this law affect welfare and other government subsidies? (Does OK have child care subsidies?) Or is that a feature, not a bug?

  32. 32
    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism says:

    @WaterGirl: Oatmeal Chocolate Chip

  33. 33
    KG says:

    @Amir Khalid: there’s so much more that it’ll fuck with and that’s just at the federal level

  34. 34
    gene108 says:

    I wonder if it ever occurs to these jackasses that the reason real estate is so cheap here might have something to do with the fact that millions of people don’t want to live here.

    No offense meant to folks in the Midwest, but one reason so many people live on the coasts is easy access to beaches and mountains. It’s nice to be an hour or two away from beaches and mountains.

    Unless Oklahoma can come up with geologic features other than flat, it’ll take a lot to attract people.

  35. 35
    Amir Khalid says:

    Um, your link doesn’t go anywhere.

  36. 36
  37. 37
    Baud says:

    This makes Baby Jesus happy.

  38. 38
    monkeyfister says:

    This Trifecta Perfecta of Horrible Crazy beats the hell out of Florida’s first round of Stupid Legislation. Definitely a very bold start for OK this early in the year, and sets the bar extra high (or low as it were) for the other competing Red States. Tennessee, Arizona, Texas, Missouri, the Dakotas and Kansas are in for some hard running. North Carolina is running what looks like a marathon– low and slow– in its steady outlay of outlandishly asinine legislation, and remain a steadfast contender for the long race to November.

    Only time will tell in this year’s “Red State Race To The Bottom!”

  39. 39
    Ken says:

    @🎂 Martin:

    Well, so much for the ‘preserving the sanctity of marriage’ line.

    We had to destroy marriage in order to save it.

    Better dead than wed.

  40. 40
    Elizabelle says:


    Here’s some info on Mike Turner of Oklahoma. Thin on any background.

    He’s very young; looks like someone who ran as a lark. From his parents’ basement.

    When he speaks of family, it sounds like birth family because he does not single anyone out.

    Video won’t play well, but he says his family asked him why he wanted to get involved in politics, “the quintessential cesspool?” Has a way with words.

    Undergrad in Electrical Engineering, Masters in Mechanical Engineering. Did he say Southern Methodist U in Texas? Need to listen again.

    “I don’t like to be bored…”

    Uh huh.

  41. 41
    Pogonip says:

    @Tommy: Coal miners are low income now? I guess the UMW has been busted or bought off. I remember when coal miners made very good money. And they deserved every cent; it’s hard, dangerous work.

  42. 42
    Tommy says:

    @Elizabelle: I generally speaking have a rule I don’t make fun of the appearance of somebody …. but dude get a haircut or at least buy a comb. Also the 1970s have called and they want their tie back.

  43. 43
    Elizabelle says:


    I know! He is geek elite!

    PS: thanks for telling me about the River Road cookbook. Junior League of Baton Rouge. Totally ordering one next time I get a new cookbook. Amazon has the reissued 1950 version for less than $17.00, and it’s available all over the place used.

    Looks like it would be good to make the recipe in its original version first, and then figure out where you could cut butter and fat, etc. But sounds authentic.

  44. 44
    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet says:

    @WaterGirl: Cowboy Cookies are easy and nearly fool-proof. There are several variations of ingredients but this is a good one. (I usually make a double-size batch and end up with about 5 dozen cookies.)

    Just don’t over bake them!

    Good luck.


  45. 45
    trollhattan says:


    You may be thinking of Freedom’s Very Special Paradise–Idaho.

    Also, too, “Get an AR… before it’s too late!”

  46. 46
    draftmama says:

    Well you only had to look at the 2013 Montana Legislature and the viral vid of Gov Brian Sweitzer vetoing the crazy bills with branding irons to realize you are in good company down there in OK. Hunting with a spear, or a silencer, nullifying federal laws, elevating the powers of a county sheriff over the FBI – gawd I can’t remember them all but it was quite entertaining.

  47. 47
    the Conster says:

    So glad I live in Massachusetts.

  48. 48
    draftmama says:

    @the Conster: Yeahh – but it was 65 and sunny here today lol

  49. 49
    Tommy says:

    @Elizabelle: You are more than welcome. The cookbook I used to learn to cook. Long story but I got connections to New Orleans back three generations. The version I have was a gift to my grandmother from my grandfather. The thing is held together with tape, glue, and love :)!

    There is one entry that starts with:

    8 chickens, turtle, squirrel, or rabbit.
    40 quail.

    But don’t let that scare you away. Most dishes are not like that. If you like southern cooking, or creole/cajun (those are not the same thing) it is the Bible.

  50. 50
    trollhattan says:


    Cole probably knows something on the wage topic–IIRC coal is something like 2% of the WV workforce. I can say the Upper Big Branch miners were not unionized, and perhaps paid the ultimate price because of that fact.

  51. 51
    WaterGirl says:

    @Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism: Hmm. The recipe I used called for:
    12 ounces chocolate chips
    1 cup butter, softened
    3/4 cups packed brown sugar
    1/2 cup sugar
    1 egg
    1 teaspoon vanilla
    1 cup unsifted flour
    1 teaspoon baking soda
    1/2 teaspoon salt
    1 teaspoon cinnamon
    3 cups oats, uncooked
    1 cup walnuts, chopped

    Your recipe definitely has more butter/shortening and liquid.

    I have some spiced peaches. I still have most of the cookie batter in the fridge; I am thinking I might try adding some chopped peaches to add a little moisture.

    I’ll try your recipe next time, but it’s so huge I will definitely need to cut it down. Thanks.

  52. 52

    @Amir Khalid:

    And what the hell kind of fucked-up government bans marriage itself?

    The same kind that tried to eliminate public schools so they wouldn’t have to integrate. It’s amazing how many of the stupid, asinine, vindictive crap they’re pulling today was tried before to try to get around civil rights laws.

  53. 53
    Tommy says:

    @Elizabelle: I don’t think I mentioned this last night. It is totally authentic. It was done as a fundraiser for the local little league team. Everything in it is from members. It is not by a professional cook/chef. It is local folks family recipes.

  54. 54

    @Davis X. Machina:

    Freedom™ is a registered trademark of the Republican National Committee.

    Then you should have used the ® (registered copyright) symbol rather than the ™ (generic trademark) symbol./pedant

  55. 55
    WaterGirl says:

    @I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet: Looks good, will definitely try this one! thanks

  56. 56
    RepubAnon says:

    @Punchy: That was my thought – a commercial with a bunch of stereotypic “bad guys” being confronted by the cops, and having the cops say to the bad guys – OK, I guess it’s legal for you guys to carry those guns… it’ll need at least one bad guy with crossed bandoliers of bullets saying “Permits? We don’t need no stinking permits!”

    The next commercial would be to have the bad guy claim to have been “standing his ground” when he shot the aged grandma, because he thought she was going for a concealed weapon. Possibly with a “drop piece” to plant on grandma…

    The catch phrase: “Guns – not just for good guys anymore…”

  57. 57
    Baud says:

    Speaking of derp.

    The Arizona Republican Party formally censured Sen. John McCain on Saturday, citing a voting record they say is insufficiently conservative.

    The resolution to censure McCain was approved by a voice-vote during a meeting of state committee members in Tempe, state party spokesman Tim Sifert said. It needed signatures from at least 20 percent of state committee members to reach the floor for debate.

  58. 58
    Baud says:

    More derp.

    A measure allowing people with concealed-weapons permits in South Carolina to carry firearms into restaurants and bars that serve alcohol is headed to the desk of Governor Nikki Haley, a gun enthusiast who is expected to sign it.

    The legislation passed in the state’s House of Representatives on Thursday by a vote of 90-18 makes it a crime to drink alcohol while carrying a concealed weapon on those premises.

  59. 59
    Tokyokie says:

    @efgoldman: Not that they’d bother to look for it.

  60. 60
    Geeno says:

    @draftmama: Weather doesn’t compensate for stupid.

  61. 61
    Baud says:


    U.S. treasury and law enforcement agencies will soon issue regulations opening banking services to state-sanctioned marijuana businesses even though cannabis remains classified an illegal narcotic under federal law, Attorney General Eric Holder said on Thursday.

  62. 62
    Glocksman says:


    That’s actually not that bad of a law because it’s a crime to actually consume booze in such a place while packing.
    Blow a .02 and packing heat after having a couple of glasses of wine at Olive Garden?
    At the least your permit grows wings, and at the worst you’re guilty of whatever level misdemeanor the violation is.

    The real stupid versions of ‘bar carry’ laws make no provision prohibiting the consumption of booze.
    Because everyone knows that guns and booze go together….

    Of course an even better version would be to leave the prohibition on carrying in a bar in place while allowing it in restaurants.
    Even completely sober people can get caught up in a barfight, and packing heat would just be inviting trouble.

  63. 63
    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism says:

    @WaterGirl: Yeah, he does a lot of bulk baking. You should have seen this year’s holiday efforts….

  64. 64
    Geeno says:

    @Roger Moore: Having worked in Marketing for way longer than anyone should, confusions between trademarks(™), service marks(℠), and the registered versions of both(®) are annoying to me. No, I am not explaining the differences as it has never had any affect on anyone previously. Including people whose job it is to know the difference.

  65. 65
    Baud says:

    French-world problems

    PARIS — President François Hollande announced Saturday that he and his companion, Valérie Trierweiler, had formally ended their relationship, bringing to a close a two-week-long melodrama that began with a glossy magazine’s report of an affair with an actress and Ms. Trierweiler’s emotional collapse over the disclosure.

  66. 66


    Blow a .02 and packing heat after having a couple of glasses of wine at Olive Garden? At the least your permit grows wings, and at the worst you’re guilty of whatever level misdemeanor the violation is.

    Why do I suspect that enforcement of those provisions will be sporadically and selectively enforced?

  67. 67
    Geeno says:

    @efgoldman: Those people couldn’t find “rational” with both hands, a map, and a fucking sherpa guide.

  68. 68
    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker says:

    The banning-marriage one may actually out-crazy the proposed (never passed) law that Oklahoma refuse to recognize adoptions by same-sex parents. On one side of the state line, you have parents – on the other side, you’re an orphan.

    On the upside, once they ban marriage, Oklahoma’s legislature can boast of being the only one in the country with no Republican adulterers.

  69. 69
    MomSense says:


    That seems like a lot of baking soda to me. Too much soda will make baked goods dry and can sometimes leave a bad taste. I tend to cut down on soda and mix it with a bit of warm water before adding it.

  70. 70
    Glocksman says:

    @Roger Moore:

    If Florida’s any indication, probably.

  71. 71
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Amir Khalid: It appears that the proposed law will revoke state recognition of ALL marriages, and would do away with any marriage-based distinctions under state law. God alone knows what kind of mess that will make.

  72. 72
    Kropadope says:

    I didn’t know their claims that passing gay marriage into law would lead to the destruction of traditional marriage weren’t unfounded predictions, but rather threats.

  73. 73
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Amir Khalid: It would essentially void the requirement for a carry permit. Under existing law, it is a crime to openly carry a firearm unless one is hunting (has a valid hunting license for in-season game, and in a location where such game can be found, like a farm or open land, and the hunting license requires safety training.)
    Currently, the only way a person can carry a firearm not for hunting purposes is to have a concealed carry license, which entails several hours of training in self defense law and firearm safety. Also, they MUST conceal the weapon, and carrying openly is “brandishing” and can be a misdemeanor or a felony depending on the circumstances. The proposed law would allow the open carry by individuals for any purpose whatsoever, would revoke property-owners rights to refuse entry to armed citizens–these little ‘no-gun’ stickers are on the entrances to damn near every commercial enterprise, and entering a marked premises with a gun is currently a misdemeanor. Carrying a firearm in a concealed manner would still require the license.

  74. 74
    Glocksman says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    If you or anyone else is curious about a particular state’s gun laws, here’s a good reference.

    Interestingly enough, my state not only recognizes carry permits from all US states that issue them, we also recognize foreign permits.

  75. 75
    tybee says:


    Better dead than wed.

    that is most full of win, tovarisch.

  76. 76
    WaterGirl says:

    @MomSense: Now that you mention it, that does seem like a lot in comparison to the salt. Aren’t those usually in similar quantities in a recipe? The cookies were dry and way too solid, if that makes any sense.

  77. 77
    BethanyAnne says:

    I don’t like at all that it’s being done out of spite, but getting government out of the marriage business? Hell yeah. Shoo! Any workarounds that have to be made to benefit children pale in comparison to the existing complexity of the tax code. Get the government the hell out of legitimizing relationships.

  78. 78
    RobNYNY1957 says:


    i’ve always said that Oklahoma should build and export airports.

  79. 79
    burnspbesq says:

    If I had to guess, I’d guess that Turner is counting on Gov. Fallin (who has periodically shown signs of having a functioning brain) to veto his bill. That way he gets to pander to the loonies without having to actually deal with the consequences.

  80. 80
    Mnemosyne says:


    Get the government the hell out of legitimizing relationships.

    They’re not legitimizing relationships. They’re simplifying property inheritance. If an unmarried person dies without a will, their property goes to their nearest relative no matter how long they lived with their significant other. If a married person dies without a will, their property goes to their spouse.

    IMO, one of the drivers for gay marriage was all of the heartrending stories of people who were kicked out of their longtime homes by the deceased’s blood relatives because those relatives were able to argue in court that they should inherit and not this unrelated person who was living in sin with their father or uncle.

    ETA: She’s probably not in a mood to talk about it at the moment since we just passed the one-year anniversary, but I remember Gex ran into this after Kate died. Because they weren’t legally married, Gex had to pay taxes when she inherited Kate’s half of the house because they weren’t legally related (i.e. spouses).

    Also, too, don’t let the Christianists fool you — marriage was invented to protect property and inheritance, not because of Jesus. That’s why almost every culture has some form of it.

  81. 81
    BethanyAnne says:

    @Mnemosyne: All that makes sense. Hmm. So if you “got government out of the marriage business”, you’d have to fundamentally rewrite tax law.

  82. 82
    Tripod says:

    Soonergrunt can keep OKC, but I’ve always thought Tulsa was a pretty little city. After the oil boom, it had a cottage industry of oil company back office functions. That’s all gone away in the last twenty years as the yokels ramped up the stupid. A good part of that is because it became harder and harder to recruit and retain talent. Most of the work has migrated to Houston, you know, where they have that gay Mayor.

  83. 83
    Rafer Janders says:

    A native Oklahoman friend of mine notes that his state is populated by the descendants of those who (a) couldn’t quite hack it in the high-stress, fast-paced worlds of Mississippi, Arkansas and Alabama and so had to move west to start over, and then (b) were too lazy and unmotivated to leave during the Dust Bowl. So with that genetic material as a base, this is what you get….

  84. 84
    Glocksman says:

    @Rafer Janders:

    I don’t remember where I saw it, but a joke supposedly popular in Alaska during the 1970’s was this.

    Q: What’s true happiness?
    A: An Okie headed south with a Texan under each arm.

  85. 85
  86. 86
    Matt says:

    In return, Morgan has invited Dahm via social media to come on his television show to discuss the issue

    Infinity internets points to Morgan if he pops Dahm in the chest with a couple paintballs just as he comes onstage – after all, Dahm might be armed, stand yer ground, etc etc.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

Comments are closed.