Frivolous Friday: Afternoon Open Thread

Via J-TWO-O, a distressingly realistic portrayal of conference call dynamics:

I’m the dingbat whose dogs go ballistic in the background and disrupt the call. SQUIRREL!

1st worldSome of y’all were understandably hating on the “Teabag Buddy” cup warmer / string securer / teabag squeezer / spoon caddy I received as a holiday gift. I was reminded of it when I saw this Buzzfeed listicle: 28 Most Distressing First World Problems on Instagram.

One features a tea tab floating in a mug and an Instagrammer lamenting it as an ill omen for the new day. This is something my Teabag Buddy is designed to prevent.

But I did utter a sentence this week that immediately struck me as an embarrassing FWP complaint: “Noooo! We’re out of half-and-half, so I have to mix heavy cream and milk!” Shameful.

What’s the dumbest FWP you’ve heard articulated lately? Or feel free to discuss whatever…






154 replies
  1. 1
    dmsilev says:

    I ain’t clicking on it, but I am deeply amused by the current top NewsMax headline “Huckabee’s ‘Libido’ Remarks Distorted by Media”. For a movement which blathers endlessly about personal responsibility, conservatives seem awfully reluctant to practice any.

  2. 2
    Fuzzy says:

    Any phrase with the word Bieber deserves mention in any FWP conversation for headlines I don’t give a shit about.

  3. 3
    raven says:

    How about how long it is going to take for us to build our addition after we have dropped five grand for nothing?

  4. 4
    catclub says:

    Non-problem: Tetley British blend has no strings or tabs. Pinocchio also had no strings.

  5. 5
    srv says:

    I’m tired of all these damned acronyms the kids are spoutin on my lawn.

    Also, this was pretty awesome yesterday.

  6. 6
    jl says:

    I for one am a fan of the amazing tea bag buddy. I will purchase one and it seems like a perfect minor giftlet for some of my impossible-to-gift older relatives.

    So there. We are not all haters here in the BJ commenter world.

    But, DEATH TO CONFERENCE CALLS! 90% of them, anyway

  7. 7
    The Other Chuck says:

    @dmsilev: Yeah direct quotes with all their surrounding context are such a distortion.

    Psst Huck: if the mirror makes you look ugly, it’s because YOU’RE UGLY.

  8. 8
    Betty Cracker says:

    @srv: Yep, that was pretty awesome.

  9. 9
    dexwood says:

    What’s the dumbest FWP you’ve heard articulated lately?

    “I don’t know what I’d do without Fox News.” My asshole Teabagger brother-in-law upon learning we don’t have cable or direct TV.

  10. 10
    MikeJ says:

    @catclub: PG Tips pyramid bags don’t have strings either.

  11. 11
    The Other Chuck says:

    @dexwood:

    “I don’t know what I’d do without Fox News.”

    “Think?”

  12. 12
    dexwood says:

    @The Other Chuck:
    I told him he’d be better informed. Yea, we don’t like each other very much.

  13. 13
    Cassidy says:

    Any comparison of the US to a police state.

  14. 14
    Cervantes says:

    @dmsilev:

    I ain’t clicking on it, but I am deeply amused by the current top NewsMax headline “Huckabee’s ‘Libido’ Remarks Distorted by Media”.

    Check it out. They may be right.

  15. 15
    elmo says:

    Tea bags are tools of Satan in any case, so it serves you right for getting the nasty string and cardboard tag in your tea. Tea is made by soaking leaves in hot water, which causes them to expand – if they can’t expand, you aren’t getting the full effect of the tea.

    Now there is your First World Problem! Not getting the full effect of tea because convenient technology is in the way!

  16. 16
    Elizabelle says:

    @catclub:

    Yeah, but can you dangle a Tetley British blend teabag from a tricorn?

    On your Medicare scooter?

    Let’s get real.

    @MikeJ:

    Effing Brits. Pyramid yet.

    You know that’s shorthand for socialism. National Health Scare and all.

  17. 17
    Yatsuno says:

    My dad was bitching about how labour unions caused the bankruptcy in Detroit. I have to bite my tongue because a) it’s my dad and b) I’m living at their house while I’m recuperating. But I almost did burst out loud laughing.

    PT is on the way. Gotta go lock the dogs up although I think he’d love them. I know they’d love him as they love everyone. But border collies can occasionally be tricksy…

    Oh and I have to get dressed. Only wearing a shirt tends to not go over well…

  18. 18
    Belafon says:

    @dmsilev: Because I’m sure no one here expected hypocrisy, Mike Huckabee signed a law as Arkansas governor requiring health care plans to provide contraceptive coverage, even religious affiliated places like churches and universities.

  19. 19
    kindness says:

    Baileys works when you run out of 1/2 & 1/2.

  20. 20
    ruemara says:

    @dexwood: “Deal with reality.”

    Fairly happy, my low-tech audio kit works quite well. If you can hear dialogue over wind and raucous Canadian geese, it’s a win.

  21. 21
    Amir Khalid says:

    First world problems? Sorry, I don’t live there.

  22. 22
    Liberty60 says:

    OT, but it is so amusing when wingers like Michelle Malkin discover that Big Business is no longer the fabled Job Creators:
    http://michellemalkin.com/2014.....s-america/

    Say it ain’t so!

  23. 23

    I still don’t trust Snowden. That’s all.

  24. 24
    Elizabelle says:

    I liked the conference call video. Well done.

  25. 25
    John Cole says:

    Why are you using tea bags? Why don’t you just soak cardboard in boiling water and then drink that?

  26. 26
    scav says:

    @John Cole: Adding the floor sweepings and dust to the cardboard is work so outsourced for end-user convenience.

  27. 27
    Cassidy says:

    @Bob In Portland: Oh no. If he isn’t nominated as POTUS for the super progressive purity pony party, then everyone has sold out progressive values and we’ll live in a police state forever. On the plus side, mix and company might die of a broken heart sparing us their chicken fucking, but death is a little much.

  28. 28

    FYWP is the ultimate FWP.

  29. 29
    Bill in Section 147 says:

    @Belafon: Conservatives are always being born again so those old sins don’t haunt them.

    I used to think they had not realized that the tape machine or recorder had been invented when they said or did that back in the day…or yesterday for that matter…but I am beginning to think it is more of a, “Mike Huckabee 2014 never did that and Mike Huckabee 2014.01.24 never said that.”

  30. 30
    SiubhanDuinneOnIPhone5 says:

    Any Massholes know anything about Gov candidate Juliette Kayyem?

  31. 31
    Tommy says:

    @John Cole: LOL. I am a coffee snob. Something of a tea snob when I have tea (which is pretty rare). I don’t know why you’d use a tea bag. They make this thing called tea you can use to make a cup of tea :). I find it doesn’t grow in a bag with a string on it. Just saying :).

  32. 32
    Yatsuno says:

    @Betty Cracker: Just out of curiosity, why didn’t you just use the heavy cream? It’s actually quite lovely in both coffee and tea. First time I had it was at an Italian restaurant for dessert. Ohh man was that a pleasant experience!

  33. 33
    boatboy_srq says:

    @The Other Chuck: Isn’t it amazing how Reichwing blowhards will immediately demand that “the [lamestream] media” interpret not what they said but what they meant – and attempt to explain it in warm fuzzy family-friendly terms that can’t possibly be offensive to anyone? And conversely any content from the other side, no matter how wildly out of context or incomplete it may be, must immediately and irretrievably be determined to be absolute proof of the Left’s disinterest/malice toward Ahmurrca™?

    I can’t help thinking that the Fauxnooze grab for “fair and balanced” was because the Reichwing had enough of being caught saying/doing offensive things and wanted some excuse – any excuse – for crying bias and for generating a BSDI argument. And I can’t help thinking that half of the RWNM’s persistence in conspiracy theories and other noise is pure projection: they’re doing bad things, but everyone knows that everyone does bad things, so there has to be some buried scoop on “the Left” that they can find and dig up as proof.

  34. 34
    Elizabelle says:

    Any other Margaret and Helen (blog) fans out there?

    Uncle Sugar needs to meet Aunt Flo (now aka Shark Week, allegedly)

  35. 35

    @elmo:

    Tea bags are tools of Satan in any case

    +1. Loose leaves are the proper way to make tea. In a pre-warmed ceramic pot, pouring the hot water over the leaves. If you don’t like leaves in your cup, use a tea strainer.

  36. 36
    Elizabelle says:

    @John Cole:

    Cool to see you up and about at this hour.

  37. 37
    boatboy_srq says:

    @dexwood: Try “less misinformed”. More inflammatory, perhaps, but far more accurate.

  38. 38
    Yatsuno says:

    @Amir Khalid: Questions for you:

    First, have you seen “Frozen”? I’m attempting to get out to see it this weekend and I can’t wait!

    Second, I know they are releasing a Malay dubbed version. I also noted the high prevalence of English speakers in Kuala Lumpur. Would they release the English version as well?

  39. 39
    Chyron HR says:

    Music time: What is “Red Barchetta” even supposed to be whining about? Was Rush under the impression that gas was being rationed in the 70s as a prelude to outlawing cars altogether and not, you know, because we had no fucking gas?

  40. 40
    Tommy says:

    @Yatsuno: I picked up a Chemex coffeemaker a few weeks ago. To replace my french press. I’ve found I get almost as much enjoyment in the art of making a cup of coffee, and I’ve learned there is something of an “art” to it, that I just love.

  41. 41

    @boatboy_srq:

    Isn’t it amazing how Reichwing blowhards will immediately demand that “the [lamestream] media” interpret not what they said but what they meant

    It’s not even that. They want the media to correct their Kinsey gaffes by reporting what they meant to say when they accidentally said what they meant.

  42. 42
    dollared says:

    I just saw an online guide of how to make up a new name to give to your Starbucks server so they don’t misunderstand/misspell/mangle your actual name. With 8 of my friends excitedly chirping in about the name confusion trauma they experienced at SBUX…

  43. 43
    Yatsuno says:

    @Tommy: I’m of French extraction (give or take 400 years) and for the life of me cannot get the hang of a French press. I’d love to have one as I don’t have a coffeemaker and I live where there are literally hundreds of good artisanal roasters. I’m not even sure how I survived this long. And yes I drink Starbucks willingly.

  44. 44
    dollared says:

    @Tommy: Yes! Own two 1970s vintage Chemex’s. What filter to you use?

  45. 45
    Jado says:

    A recent television police procedural prominently featured country music, to the point of playing almost an entire song over the end segment and credits in a blatant effort to manipulate the emotions of the viewers. I hate country music. Last year when they featured death metal in the plot, did they feature the death metal songs? No, they did not.

    I am offended that my chosen television entertainment attempts to manipulate my emotions with the wrong type of music.

    FWP!!!

  46. 46

    @Tommy:
    Next you’ll be getting a goosenecked coffee kettle so you can pour the water over the grounds correctly. I thought they were a silly affectation until I got one as a present (from the same person who gave me my Chemex) and found that they really are helpful when making pour-over coffee.

  47. 47
    Tommy says:

    @Roger Moore: I thought I knew a lot about coffee and then got hooked on Dangerous Grounds. Found I didn’t know that much. Sure O only bought whole beans. Often used a French Press. But I engaged the host on Twitter, and he is accessible, and learned there was so much more about coffee I didn’t know.

    I mentioned above about my new Chemex coffeemaker (not really expensive BTW). I don’t know, maybe it takes a little time and/or effort to make a pot of coffee and that helps, but I swear it tastes a lot better.

  48. 48
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Tommy: Meat doesn’t grow in cellophane packages.

  49. 49
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Yatsuno: Heavy cream alone is just too heavy, at least in coffee or tea. It has to be juuuuust right.

    Damn, you made me say another FWP!

  50. 50
    dexwood says:

    @boatboy_srq:
    That is more accurate, thanks. I certainly don’t mind being inflammatory when dealing with him.

  51. 51
    Tommy says:

    @dollared: I am using theirs, which are pretty expensive. I never thought I’d “treat” a coffee filter before I used it, but alas if you search YouTube and Chemex, well some pretty raving fans.

  52. 52

    @Yatsuno:

    I’m of French extraction (give or take 400 years) and for the life of me cannot get the hang of a French press.

    They aren’t that hard. There are really three tricks:

    1) Use relatively coarsely ground coffee, ideally from a burr grinder. Burr grinders produce a more consistent grind than propeller-style with fewer fine particles. Fine particles won’t clog the filter, but they will pass through it and cause the coffee to get bitter as it sits around.

    2) Stir after adding water to the grounds. If you don’t stir, the grounds will hold some air, which will prevent them from being extracted well and will make it harder to press the coffee when you’re done.

    3) Use a timer so you get the right extraction time. The recommended 4 minutes is a good starting point, but you may want to adjust it according to taste.

  53. 53
    Cassidy says:

    Freeze dried and a hot water kettle.

  54. 54
    slippytoad says:

    @boatboy_srq:

    And I can’t help thinking that half of the RWNM’s persistence in conspiracy theories and other noise is pure projection: they’re doing bad things, but everyone knows that everyone does bad things, so there has to be some buried scoop on “the Left” that they can find and dig up as proof.

    As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that if you pay attention to what someone is doing, it’s very easy to see what they’re thinking.

    Someone who is always talking about coup’de’tats, gunning down people in the street, violent revolution, religious police, and the like is thinking about living in a totalitarian society. When they’re pointing all of that rhetoric at the rest of the nation, they are thinking of fomenting a rebellion.

    A rebellion is not a revolution. Revolutions are liberal. Things change, to something that has never been before. Rebellions are conservative, and change things back to the way they were when whoever is rebelling was comfortable. The far right is very clearly hell-bent on fomenting some kind of violent rebellion in this nation, they just don’t want to be the ones who started it (again) as they were during the Civil War.

    This is why we should have hanged the entire government of the Confederacy, right out for everyone to see. We failed to make an example out of the traitors before, so they decided it was OK to try treason again. They’re sidling up to it now.

  55. 55
    Betty Cracker says:

    Regarding the use of teabags vs loose tea: I’d probably make more of a fuss if I drank hot tea daily, but I don’t. I’m more of an iced tea gal, though come to that, Luzianne teabags are good enough for me on that score, so never mind…

  56. 56
    Ignaz Playel says:

    @dollared: That’s why I go as “Buffy”. Although I don’t get too upset when they call me “Biffy.”

  57. 57
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Tommy: It’s kind of cool to see Chemex’s being trendy again. I remember when they were all the rage among the science-y set when I was in college during the Nixon admin.

  58. 58
    piratedan says:

    and now (if you can believe his Reinceness) the GOP wants to investigate the issues with the NSA…

    warning: Politico link
    http://www.politico.com/story/.....html?hp=l4

  59. 59

    @Tommy:

    I mentioned above about my new Chemex coffeemaker (not really expensive BTW). I don’t know, maybe it takes a little time and/or effort to make a pot of coffee and that helps, but I swear it tastes a lot better.

    I think the Chemex filters are appreciably better than other brands. They’re quite a bit thicker than your typical filter, and I think they do a better job of keeping out the fine particles. I think you also get better control over the brew than in a typical coffee machine, which helps. I also think the coffee making ritual is an important part of overall enjoyment for a lot of people, even if it’s just having an excessively elaborate specification for your coffee at Starbucks.

    ETA: and the Chemex filters aren’t that expensive in the big picture. Yeah, they’re more expensive than cheap basket-type filters, but they’re a small expense compared to all the coffee you’re brewing with them. Are you really going to spend $10+ on a pound of fancy coffee and then quibble about a few pennies per filter extra?

  60. 60
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Roger Moore: All propeller-style coffee “grinders” should be thrown to the bottom of the ocean.

  61. 61
    elmo says:

    @Roger Moore:
    I use a Bodum French press for coffee, and an electric kettle. What’s hard about pouring the water over the grounds that a gooseneck would help with?

  62. 62
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Cassidy: I guess that’s a step up from just using hot water from the tap.

  63. 63

    @Gin & Tonic: They are very good for grinding spices though!

  64. 64
    Ignaz Playel says:

    @piratedan: I’m going to laugh when the Republicans manage to steal “civil liberties” voters from the Democrats over the issue of the NSA. O.K., I’ll probably sigh.

    It must be polling as a big deal or Rince wouldn’t be talking about it.

  65. 65
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Belafon: FEDERALISM!!!!11!1!

    Funny how to them it’s good and useful and the right thing to do until some Blah President agrees with them…

  66. 66
    elmo says:

    @Roger Moore:

    Four minutes??? I let mine steep for twenty.

  67. 67
    different-church-lady says:

    What’s the dumbest FWP you’ve heard articulated lately?

    I think the “ineffable” need to battle the scourge of the passive voice qualifies for the top slot rather nicely.

  68. 68

    @Yatsuno: Agreed about coffee, but heavy cream is too heavy for tea. I prefer my tea black with lemon or strong with skim milk and about a tsp of sugar.

  69. 69
    Cassidy says:

    @Gin & Tonic: In a pinch, that’ll do, but I like to keep a minimum of class and just microwave it for about 3 mins. YMMV, but I find 3 gets it in the cusp of boiling, without violently throwing water everywhere.

  70. 70
    rikyrah says:

    Voting reforms off to a slow start
    01/24/14 11:47 AM
    By Steve Benen

    At a certain level, proponents of expanding voting rights have had reason to cheer the start of 2014. Just over the last two weeks, a bipartisan group of lawmakers have unveiled legislation to help repair the Voting Rights Act, and a nonpartisan group of election lawyers have presented recommendations to improve voter access. After relative inaction throughout 2013, all of a sudden, the issue is on the front-burner again.

    But the developments, while heartening, come with a caveat: they’ll still need support from conservative policymakers who have an incentive to ignore the proposals.

    On the VRA, for example, lawmakers recently unveiled the “Voting Rights Amendment Act,” a reform bill intended to respond to the U.S. Supreme Court, which gutted the Voting Rights Act last summer. Since its introduction, the House version has picked up only eight co-sponsors, while the Senate version has only two. That’s a pretty slow start given the Voting Rights Act passed with near-unanimous, bipartisan support as recently as 2006.

    And what about the systemic reforms recommended in a new commission report, coauthored by the lawyers from the Obama and Romney campaigns? As Zachary Roth reports, Republicans aren’t exactly rushing to embrace these ideas, either.

    http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-ma.....slow-start

  71. 71
    srv says:

    @scav:

    Adding the floor sweepings and dust to the cardboard is work so outsourced for end-user convenience.

    But any tea in a bag is already from floor sweepings. There must be some french word for doubling down that would work here.

    @elmo: You do have a conical burr grinder, I assume.

  72. 72
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: That’s what I use mine for.

  73. 73
    Belafon says:

    @slippytoad: If we learned from the past, we wouldn’t really have teabaggers.

  74. 74
    piratedan says:

    @Ignaz Playel: well maybe its nothing more than cultivating the dudebro vote. Just the hypocrisy of the move, considering who pushed and advocated for the legislation to begin with is kinda reminiscent of cleek’s law. Then again, its becoming clearer that the GOP, as its currently constituted, are nothing more than monster shouters.

  75. 75

    @John Cole: Did you read the comment I left you in the Steve thread, it might be useful when dealing with Steve’s grooming problems.

  76. 76
    Robert Sneddon says:

    @Yatsuno: “But border collies can occasionally be tricksy…”

    Well they’ve got you dialled in 100% if you think it’s only “occasionally”. Rule number one: never own a dog smarter than you are.

  77. 77

    @elmo:

    What’s hard about pouring the water over the grounds that a gooseneck would help with?

    It’s a bit different with pour-over coffee like a Chemex. The trick to good coffee brewing is to wet the grounds thoroughly, which you can do easily in a french press by stirring vigorously. With pour-over coffee, you do it by adding a little bit of water to the coffee and letting it “bloom” before adding the rest. That turns out to be easier with a kettle with a long, narrow spout, which gives you better pouring control.

  78. 78
    Tommy says:

    @Roger Moore: You are right. They are a pretty cheap. $10 for 100.

    I just have found the making of coffee is enjoyable. I have like a $220 Cuinart coffee maker. I use a drip coffee marker..That it takes some effort is just enjoyable.

  79. 79

    @Belafon:

    If we learned from the past, we wouldn’t really have teabaggers.

    The lessons you take from the past depend on your goals for the future. The teabaggers are what you get when retrogressive assholes learn from the past and try to construct a movement to get their way.

  80. 80
    Tommy says:

    @Roger Moore: You want it to “bloom.” Again I can’t believe I know this. but a smaller pour is better. And when you use the thing you get that.I didn’t know coffee “bloomed” but you can actually watch it happen.

  81. 81
    elmo says:

    @srv:

    You do have a conical burr grinder, I assume

    Of course.

  82. 82
    drunken hausfrau says:

    teenaged daughter: “Another letter from a prospective college?! Ugh! I am so tired of looking at these!!”

  83. 83
    rikyrah says:

    The elusive Steve Stockman
    01/24/14 10:30 AM—Updated 01/24/14 01:46 PM
    By Steve Benen

    In early December, Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas), one of Congress’ more colorful characters, announced unexpectedly that he’s running for the U.S. Senate. Shortly before the filing deadline, the right-wing lawmaker said he would take on incumbent Senate Minority Whip John Cornyn (R), one of the Senate’s most conservative members, in a Texas Republican primary.

    As a rule, candidates for statewide office try to maintain a fairly high profile in order to connect with voters. But Stockman, for reasons that are unclear, appears to have gone missing. Indeed, no one, including his aides, is willing to say where the congressman is.

    Rep. Steve Stockman of Texas is missing. He hasn’t been seen in public since January 14. Reports that he traveled to Egypt couldn’t be confirmed by another congressman on the trip – or by Stockman’s own office, where the person who answered the phone simply said, “That’s the first that I’ve heard of that.”

    It was probably the Daily Beast’s Ben Jacobs who first realized that Stockman had vanished. On Tuesday, Jacobs pointed out that Stockman … had been missing votes on Capitol Hill and campaign events back in Texas. Stockman hadn’t shown up for a vote since January 9, Jacobs wrote, noting that Stockman didn’t even vote against the budget bill he pledged to oppose.

    http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-ma.....e-stockman

  84. 84
    geg6 says:

    I simply cannot say enough how much I love Sarah Silverman:

    http://youtu.be/ahdR6aHQvMQ

  85. 85
    WaterGirl says:

    @raven:

    How about how long it is going to take for us to build our addition after we have dropped five grand for nothing?

    I know! I know! Call on me! I think the answer is “Too fucking long.” Am I right?

  86. 86
    Poopyman says:

    @srv: Yeah it was pretty awesome, but the popup ad for a catheter sample pack bugged me a bit. Same demographic? Really?

  87. 87
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Belafon: If we learned to TEACH the past…

    Teabaggers read Dickens, Orwell and Sinclair – not as cautionary tales but as instruction manuals.

  88. 88
    srv says:

    @Robert Sneddon: I’d borrow one and throw frisbees/balls to him in the park. Once, he kept looking at me like ‘wtf, why are you throwing like a spaz today?’

    Then he noticed the cute girl I kept aiming at and understood he was supposed to miss it. Smart doggy.

  89. 89
    Howlin Wolfe says:

    @kindness: Someone else may have pointed this out upthread, but Bailey’s works real well even when you haven’t run out of 1/2 and 1/2. The bigger problem is running out of Bailey’s.

  90. 90
    boatboy_srq says:

    @Roger Moore:THESE are teakettles. First-world manufacture, too.

  91. 91
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Yatsuno:
    They probably did release the original English version of Frozen here, because the one I saw had all the singing in that language. :) The Disney people have done Malay dubs of some animated films going back to Tarzan, if I recall correctly. But I suspect the bulk of the movie going population here still goes to see Disney in the original English.

  92. 92
    WaterGirl says:

    Betty, I forgot to say how much I loved the conference call video at the top of the thread. I laughed and laughed and laughed.

  93. 93

    @boatboy_srq:

    THESE are teakettles.

    Those are TEA kettles. I was talking about COFFEE kettles. Believe it or not, there is a difference.

  94. 94
    PurpleGirl says:

    @MikeJ: I love the pyramid shape of the PG Tips bag. It doesn’t matter to me that it doesn’t have a string or a tag.

  95. 95
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    FWPs? Does my hatred for the Morgan Page cover/remix of The Outfield’s crappy song “Your Love” count? ‘Cause I hate that version even more than I hate the original version.

  96. 96
    Jay says:

    “I’m the dingbat whose dogs go ballistic in the background and disrupt the call.”

    Classic.

    Dogs aren’t children, but this line reminded me of Ray Romano’s old bit about how he’d always have to cut into his business calls to scold his toddlers, leading Romano to worry that the caller thought he was talking to him.

    “Yes, I’ll read the script…I SMELL COCKY!”

  97. 97
    piratedan says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: but I thought Say it isn’t so was pretty good.

  98. 98
    Tommy says:

    @WaterGirl: As did I. I work for myself. I use webinar and conference software. That video is so accurate I don’t even what to comment on it.

  99. 99
    Anoniminous says:

    @raven:

    Rule of Thumb: in any home remodeling project 90% of the work takes 90% of the time and the remaining 10% takes the other 90%.

  100. 100
    Amir Khalid says:

    @rikyrah:
    Unless his staff and/or family actually say don’t know where he is, I’d guess they’re just being tight-lipped on his whereabouts. Maybe he’s gone walkabout, as they say Down Under; or hiking the Appalachian Trail (nudge nudge, wink wink); or dealing with a midlife crisis; or on a secret mission of mercy. Maybe a delicious scandal is poised to erupt when he comes back, or maybe he’ll just slip back in unnoticed and unremarked upon. So many possibilities …

  101. 101
    Trollhattan says:

    @Roger Moore:

    Sums it up nicely. Our Mazzer grinder (good gawd, i’m name-dropping coffee grinders) is one of the best coffee gizmo investments we’ve ever made. That, and a rebuildable espresso maker.

    Also, too, a French press is better with a two-part filter, not just the stainless steel mesh. They’re not easy to find, though.

  102. 102
    Trollhattan says:

    @Anoniminous:

    Heh. Perfect.

  103. 103
    Trollhattan says:

    @Robert Sneddon:

    But that’s, like, half of all dogs.

  104. 104
    srv says:

    RNC to move 2016 convention up to early July.

    That makes so much sense, what else would I be doing that week?

  105. 105
    Yatsuno says:

    @Amir Khalid: I have actually (quelle horreur!) not seen it yet. I’m trying to remedy that this weekend if possible. And if “Let It Go” doesn’t win Best Song, there will be riots! Interesting part is looking at the foreign vocal casts and seeing so many “Wicked” connections.

    Just finished with the PT. He’s really happy with the left leg so far so next is the proving grounds: walking. I did pretty damn good in the rehab unit but things can change. Hopefully I impress him next session. And I might have a new computer too. My old workhorse is about giving up.

  106. 106
    srv says:

    The Jamie gets a 74% raise!

    Cannot wait to see the gushing on CNBC today.

  107. 107
    Roxy says:

    Well I’ve been watching the Maverick’s Surf contest on the internet. Some big waves out there. One of the surfers just rode one that is over 40ft. If anyone is interested here’s the link:

    Hanging on by the toe nails

  108. 108
    Origuy says:

    Someone tweeted last night using Stockman’s Twitter account: “Where am I? Find out Monday…” That account has been pretty active, so if it isn’t him, one of his aides is covering for him.

    ETA @Roxy: That’s it, Stockman is at Maverick’s!

  109. 109
    piratedan says:

    @Origuy: personally uncovering details about Benghazi most likely…

  110. 110
    Ignaz Playel says:

    @Amir Khalid: He’s in jail in Miami and the feds are offering him freedom if he agrees to wear a wire.

  111. 111
    Shana says:

    @dmsilev: And we can add Mr. and Mrs. Transvaginal Ultrasound to that list.

  112. 112
    Roxy says:

    Teleconferences, do I remember those. Especially the mute button. What a face saver that little button was.

    Thanks Betty. That was so realistic. It had me laughing.

  113. 113
    Trollhattan says:

    @srv:

    He’s just so dreamy. How did they keep him on board after the insult of the subpar bonus? He just gives, and gives, and gives….

  114. 114
    grape_crush says:

    speaking of conference calls…

    “‘Like David Lynch Directed a Remake of Office Space‘ A site that perfectly captures the existential despair of the conference call.”

    (site is here. fitter. happier.)

  115. 115

    FWP: the mp3 player that plays the sounds that make me able to lay still enough to be scanned for the cells that want to kill the rest of me is out of warranty and stopped loading complete tracks. That’s pretty much it for today.

  116. 116
  117. 117
    beltane says:

    John Bolton is thinking of running for president: http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/.....op-debate/ With Christie in trouble, Bolton could be just the type of “centrist” the Beltway media is hoping for. How long until we read a David Brooks’ column praising Bolton for his manly and robust foreign policy?

  118. 118
    raven says:

    Calendar came, what are Boss and Bounty?

  119. 119
    beltane says:

    @srv: They are obviously hoping for two things: a) that no one will watch; and b) that no one will remember any of it by November.

  120. 120
    sharl says:

    Apologies if already linked above, but here’s a conference call that is eternally in progress, and that you can join any time. Includes indispensable cheesy psychedelic graphics.

  121. 121
    Trollhattan says:

    @Roxy:
    Love that, just love it. One Aussie moves in and “There go your Freedoms.”

  122. 122
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @beltane: Has he shaved his ‘stache? I don’t think we have had a mustachioed president since Taft.

  123. 123

    @Omnes Omnibus: MoU could be his running mate!

  124. 124
    beltane says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: And if you put Bolton’s moustache on Chris Christie you’d have a pretty good approximation of Taft. Christie/Bolton is obviously a winning ticket for the GOP.

  125. 125
    dr. luba says:

    Trader Joe’s Irish Breakfast tea also comes in teabags, the round kind that fit perfectly in the bottom of your cup. I was a tea snob, once, but visiting England revealed to me that just about everyone uses bagged tea. It’s just that their tea is good, while our teabags contain the tea factory sweepings.

  126. 126
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: And the carpet don’t match the curtains. It’s gotta go.

  127. 127

    @beltane: Campaign song; I am the walrus!

  128. 128
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Betty Cracker: Oddly enough, that is not quite the context in which I have run across the carpet/curtains analogy in the past.

  129. 129
    beltane says:

    @Betty Cracker: Thank you, now I must expunge a vision of John Bolton’s carpet from my brain.

  130. 130

    @beltane:

    John Bolton is thinking of running for president

    He’s peaking too early.

  131. 131
    Roxy says:

    @Trollhattan:

    I’m still laughing at the dog thinking David was playing fetch and the clues to where the light is hidden

  132. 132
    Baud says:

    @beltane:

    Bolton would have blown up the GWB rather than shut it down for a few days. Much better choice for the GOP.

  133. 133
    geg6 says:

    @Tommy:

    That’s what we use to make coffee in our house. I can’t drink coffee made any other way now.

  134. 134
    beltane says:

    @Baud: Yeah, Chris Christie was weak and indecisive in the way he handled the insurgents in his state. Bolton would not handle dissent in such a girlie man fashion.

  135. 135

    @Baud:

    Bolton would have blown up the GWB

    Unfortunately, he didn’t do anything about GWB.

  136. 136
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Roxy:

    So the neighbor couldn’t have, you know, maybe tried to adjust the light downwards so it wasn’t shining directly into the guy’s bedroom and everyone would be happy?

    I know, this is America, you can’t have a simple solution that pleases everyone where there’s indignation to be had.

  137. 137
    Alexandra says:

    @dr. luba:

    It’s just that their tea is good, while our teabags contain the tea factory sweepings.

    I’ve seen PGTips in some supermarkets in the US. Twinings too. Loose-leaf or bag, just make the water is boiling and don’t stir it because it releases bitter tannins, just let it steep and infuse for 3-5 minutes. Add milk first to the cup when using a teapot, add it last when using a teabag, otherwise it lowers the temperature of the water. So many places I’ve been to provide warm or just barely hot water, but it needs to be scalding hot.

    But if you really want to get serious:

    SO 3103
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ISO_3103

    and The Royal Society of Chemistry
    http://www.rsc.org/pdf/pressoffice/2003/tea.pdf

    Innit.

  138. 138
    the Conster says:

    @beltane:

    Srsly? BOLTON?! Notice how excited McCain and Graham were to advocate for sending troops back to Iraq when challenged by Carney to do so. Not even teatards want more pointless wars, and Rand Paul for all of his many faults, understands that part of teatardism.

  139. 139
    Jane2 says:

    My FWP shame spiral: “FFS I wish the weather would make up its mind so I wouldn’t have to keep turning the seat warmer on and off.”

  140. 140
    beltane says:

    @the Conster: This is one instance where the teabaggers show more sanity than the Village media gasbags, most of whom would be tickled pink by an all-war all-the-time state of affairs.

  141. 141
    JR says:

    @slippytoad:

    This!! I’m old and feeble, but I will fight for liberal democracy!!

  142. 142
    chopper says:

    @Roger Moore:

    Aeropress FTW.

  143. 143
    chopper says:

    @Anoniminous:

    Rule of Thumb: in any home remodeling project 90% of the work takes 90% of the time and the remaining 10% takes the other 90%.

    do you have an equivalent law regarding doing simple math problems?

  144. 144
    just one more canuck on a phone says:

    Dumbest FWP? “I was shaving my cat’s ass when he cut me”

  145. 145
  146. 146
    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason says:

    @raven: I think our addition took close to five years. Longer if you consider the fact that I haven’t finished* staining and varnishing the woodwork. We didn’t drop 5K, but we had a contractor who started by putting the foundation in wrong. Once he got to the framing he wasn’t bad, but oy.

    *means “started”

  147. 147
    Glocksman says:

    @Trollhattan:

    I’m not a huge coffee snob, but I do occasionally buy a bag of Peet’s to use in this.

    OXO Soft Grips French Press

    Cleanup’s a breeze and the coffee is pretty good.

    @Tommy:

    I have a $20 Mr. Coffee. :)
    It’s a replacement for the $90 Cuisinart I knocked off of the counter and broke.
    A buddy of mine goes through a Bunn a year because of the hard local water.
    I’m not sure if he runs vinegar through it though.
    I almost bought one but decided against it because of the ‘always on’ hot water and fear of scale buildup.

  148. 148
    tybee says:

    @Glocksman:

    after a couple of years, our bunn sounded like it had marbles or something in it due to the hard water and we ran vinegar through it religiously. did like the “coffee almost instantly” feature but keeping water hot all day long for a pot once a day did seem kinda wasteful.
    the mister coffee clogged up fairly regularly but you could at least clear out the little pipe when it started taking forever to brew.
    we now use an electric percolator.

  149. 149
    Spike says:

    @dexwood:

    I told him he’d be better informed.

    Or uninformed, which would also be an improvement.

  150. 150
    Ted R says:

    Cats make conference calls with urine (ownership). If you can’t pee on it, move on. If you can, pee on it and own it. Insert cat video here….

  151. 151
    Comrade Mary says:

    @John Cole:

    Why are you using tea bags? Why don’t you just soak cardboard in boiling water and then drink that?

    You’ve revealed the secret of builder’s tea. Now everyone will want some. Asshole.

    Enjoy your tea buddy in good health, Betty.

  152. 152
    Comrade Mary says:

    @Yatsuno:

    Just out of curiosity, why didn’t you just use the heavy cream? It’s actually quite lovely in both coffee and tea.

    Oh, dear. Please tell me that’s the drugs talking. PLEASE.

    (What is a tea thread without me getting up in someone’s grill, eh?)

  153. 153
    Glocksman says:

    @tybee:

    I haven’t seen a percolator in a home setting since I was a little kid.
    My grandmother had a ceramic percolator and I remember being fascinated by it in action.

  154. 154
    Susanne says:

    FWP Said without a hint of irony or sarcasm: “I’m not really against climate change. My kids like the warm weather.”

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