Samantha Bee Won an Emmy Last Night

Trust me, this will (or should) win something.

*** Update ***

I’ve removed the damned video. Go to Comedy Central and find it your fucking selves. Autoplay was NOT on, you whiny gits. Check yourself and your browsers before you go all up into my shit, but I tried it on a pc and a mac in firefox/safari/chrome and it never autoplayed.

Sometimes the bullshit attitudes from you guys when the problem is fucking operator error pisses me off. 95% of these website problems are caused by the person you see looking in the mirror in the morning. I wondered what kind of asshole would bitch about the ACA site being slow when it was first released, when I should have known all along.

Fuck you. I’ve had a shitty two days.






170 replies
  1. 1
    DaveInOz says:

    Saw it last night – it was awesome.

  2. 2

    Yeah it was great. Kind of had a Strangers With Candy/Colbert vibe to it.

  3. 3
    Keith G says:

    The Daily Show has been on fire since their post holiday return. Stewart’s interview of Richard Cordrey was the most insightful coverage of that topic that I have seen on any media.

  4. 4
    WaterGirl says:

    My laptop is in the shop, and all I see on my iPad is a big empty space. Link, please!

  5. 5
    YellowJournalism says:

    The woman was just saying what we’ve all been thinking.

  6. 6
    monkeyfister says:

    Samantha Bee is AWESOME!!!

    Autoplay on the front page? Not so Awesome.

  7. 7
    kindness says:

    It was funny. A little long for a Stewart skit but fun.

  8. 8
    mainmata says:

    Samantha Bee has always been one of the edgier comediennes…er reporters on The Daily Show but, yes, last night’s was over the top great!

  9. 9
    Trollhattan says:

    Yeah, she killed it. Was trying to decide what weird early-’60s artifact she might have been drawing from. The Fantasticks?

    It’s not often the interview guest references one of the bits when they come on.

  10. 10
    jeffreyw says:

    Please kill the auto play.

  11. 11
    Kenn says:

    Bookmark deleted due to autoplay.

    Goodbye forever.

  12. 12
    Joel says:

    I fast forwarded through it, to be honest.

  13. 13
    jheartney says:

    BAD autoplay, BAD!

  14. 14
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    John, O/T, but if you’re still around: I don’t know whether you’ve seen this (about the chemical spill in WV), but righteous rant is righteously ranty.

    http://aattp.org/a-west-virgin.....e-a-thing/

    A small sample:

    To hell with every greedhead operator who flocked here throughout history because you wanted what we had, but wanted us to go underground and get it for you.  To hell with you for offering above-average wages in a place filled with workers who’d never had a decent shot at employment or education, and then treating the people you found here like just another material resource—suitable for exploiting and using up, and discarding when they’d outlived their usefulness.  To hell with you for rigging the game so that those wages were paid in currency that was worthless everywhere but at the company store, so that all you did was let the workers hold it for a while, before they went into debt they couldn’t get out of….

    To hell with every one of you who decided that making life convenient for business meant making life dangerous for us.  To hell with you for making us the eggs you had to break in order to make breakfast.

    To hell with everyone who ever asked me how I could stand to live in a place like this, so dirty and unhealthy and uneducated.  To hell with everyone who ever asked me why people don’t just leave, don’t just quit (and go to one of the other thousand jobs I suppose you imagine are widely available here), like it never occurred to us, like if only we dumb hilljacks would listen as you explained the safety hazards, we’d all suddenly recognize something that hadn’t been on our radar until now. 

    To hell with the superior attitude one so often encounters in these conversations, and usually from people who have no idea about the complexity and the long history at work in it.  To hell with the person I met during my PhD work who, within ten seconds of finding out I was from West Virginia, congratulated me on being able to read….

    Whole thing is well worth reading.

  15. 15
    sparrow says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Good find. I agree with his sentiment RE: being from “backwards” places. I never met more parochial idiots with stupid things to say about where I was from than in “liberal” East-coast cities.

  16. 16
    Wrye says:

    Yes. John should read that. Hell, everybody who comes to this site should.

  17. 17
    Trollhattan says:

    @Kenn:
    Reminds me of a Dan Hicks song.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW9-FOLG-iA

  18. 18
  19. 19
    Mike E says:

    OT also: PBO opened up a manufacturing innovation institute right here in tobacco road, and with NC kicking everybody’s ass in solar energy growth I heartily approve of this.

  20. 20
    burnspbesq says:

    OT: common sense had a good day in court yesterday. The word “such” had an especially good day.

    http://theincidentaleconomist......itigation/

    The opinion is a master-class on statutory construction.

  21. 21
    Amir Khalid says:

    OT, sorry about that; but we’re between open threads.
    There’s been a judge’s ruling in the lawsuit brought by Rahinah Ibrahim, the Malaysian university dean who sued to get off the no-fly list. The judge says Professor Rahinah has a right to know if she is still on the list, and to have corrected any mistaken information about her. “The government’s administrative remedies fall short of such relief and do not supply sufficient due process,” the judge wrote in his ruling. The judge also ordered authorities to tell Professor Rahinah more about the denial of her visa application.

  22. 22
    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader says:

    We need to clean house and start over here. I remember when the comments used to be the big draw here. You fuckers have ruined everything.

  23. 23
    kc says:

    Ooohh, I love it when you scold us!

  24. 24
    Astor Column says:

    What show/performance piece/artist was Samantha paying homage to? I can well believe that ‘The Five’ is chock fulla upchuck-worthy coquetry and flirting between the manly Fox alpha-males and the blondalicious Foxettes… but I’m still not willing to actually watch it.

  25. 25
    kc says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader:

    I remember when the comments used to be the big draw here.

    Yeah, but that was when John was a wingnut. We don’t want him to backslide.

  26. 26
    kindness says:

    Can I say I really do like John’s relationship with his participants. And I am not joking. That whole love/hate thing. Talk about funny.

    @Trollhattan: I was hoping it was gonna be one of the Dan Hicks & His Hot Licks era songs but no. Still good though. Thanks.

  27. 27
    NotMax says:

    It’s not viewer related.

    Embedding anything from Comedy Central is always, always iffy at best, site meltdown at worst.

  28. 28
    aimai says:

    That is vintage John Cole. I expect him to announce he’s leaving blogging, post five or six times in a row, and then apologize to everyone. Its all part of the magic that is baloon juice.

  29. 29
    am says:

    Hah! I work with computers and I want to print that out and put it on my wall. I will resist the urge for the sake of professionalism. Hope your next couple of days are better than the last.

  30. 30
    El Caganer says:

    And is there anything more pompous than the name of that show? “The Five.” Five what? Five bonobos? Five of diamonds? Five most disfiguring venereal diseases?

  31. 31

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader: Time to lay out your vision, Sir. Enlighten us.

  32. 32
    BGinCHI says:

    95% of these website problems are caused by the person you see looking in the mirror in the morning.

    Can we leave Mrs. BG out of this please? What did she ever do to you, Cole?!

  33. 33
    max says:

    I’ve removed the damned video.

    It didn’t embed intelligibly anyways.

    Go to Comedy Central and find it your fucking selves.

    Link: http://www.thedailyshow.com/wa.....n-the-five

    Autoplay was NOT on, you whiny gits

    I didn’t notice it, anyways. Some people may have autoplay turned on for them.

    Check yourself and your browsers before you go all up into my shit, but I tried it on a pc and a mac in firefox/safari/chrome and it never autoplayed.

    Yeah, Firefox 26/PC is having problems with all the Comedy Central videos since the turn of the year. (Flash runs, no vid.) Works in Chrome though.

    So I endorse NotMe’s comment.

    Fuck you. I’ve had a shitty two days.

    You slept in your car. In the field. With a pit bull.

    max
    [‘It could happen.’]

  34. 34
    gene108 says:

    Bee only talked about four of the five hosts of The Five. What about the brunette lady? Why was she totally ignored by Mrs. Bee?

    I guess only blonds matter to Mrs. Bee.

  35. 35
    Mike in NC says:

    I heard there was some weird stuff in the water supply in West Virginia.

  36. 36
    Trollhattan says:

    Dollars to donuts (mmm, donuts) there’s a long form version that was pared down to this eight minutes. Heck, never heard of the show, and now I’m in fear of being stuck in an airport with it on every video screen. (Shudder)

  37. 37
    Mnemosyne says:

    Since everyone else is being OT and I’m in a fightin’ mood today, Edward Snowden claims the NSA can remotely access your computer using radio waves … even if the computer is powered off and not connected to the internet:

    New York Times story

    Sniffsniffsniff. What’s that smell? I’d say it’s the smell of bullshit, but I’ve been assured that everything Ed Snowden says is true, so that can’t possibly be the case.

  38. 38
    kdaug says:

    Buck up, chief.

    Missed the bitching, but life continues.

    (Louder.)

  39. 39
    dexwood says:

    Speaking of cats and dogs – I see the 2014 Balloon Juice calendar is now in the shop. Is 37 bucks the correct price? That’s not a typo? Big jump from $22 the last two years. Good cause, true, and a labor of love, but that’s a steep increase. I’ll buy one, though, I had planned to but two.

  40. 40
    John Cole says:

    @dexwood: Just a placeholder price while she uploads everything. I’ll let you all know when it is available.

  41. 41
    muricafukyea says:

    Sounds like Cole is all ackey breaky heart over his KhristieKreme man crush gone sour.

    This one goes out to Cole and his deep thoughts.
    http://vimeo.com/67287909

  42. 42
    dexwood says:

    Thanks, John.

  43. 43
    Mudge says:

    A scotch, a massage, a purring cat on his lap, a dog licking his face. John will be fine.

  44. 44
    WaterGirl says:

    Cole, sorry about your crappy couple of days. Hope you guys are all okay at your house. And family.

  45. 45
    Corner Stone says:

    @Mnemosyne: Where does Snowden make any claims in that article?

  46. 46
    Kay S says:

    John, I’ve come out of lurkdom to say ya knows we rilly loves ya, right? Sorry about your bad couple of days.

  47. 47
    donnah says:

    Sorry you had a rough couple of days, John. Hope some cat and dog goodness will make things better.

  48. 48
    Trollhattan says:

    @Mudge:

    I vote for a wet nose in each armpit and Steve dragging the Subaru out of the weeds.

  49. 49
    El Caganer says:

    @Mnemosyne: I don’t think it was Snowden who made the claim.

  50. 50
    jl says:

    Wow. That’s a good old fashioned Cole chews out the comenters.

    I was getting a little worried for awhile something was happening to Cole, he was getting depressed and listless or something.

  51. 51
    kdaug says:

    @aimai: Ding.

    I had to drag his fat ass around once, under fire. Won’t repeat the details, but the scars… searing.

  52. 52
    raven says:

    I had a rough couple and then made a decision that made me feel a lot better.

  53. 53
    Ash Can says:

    Why should I bother tracking down a video when I can read a classic John Cole rant? There’s no way the video’s going to be funnier than that.

  54. 54
    MomSense says:

    @John Cole:

    Sorry you’ve had a shitty two days. Hope the piglets are some comfort.

  55. 55
    Liquid says:

    @Mnemosyne: They have to physically insert a device or otherwise provide you with equipment that has the device installed.

  56. 56
    raven says:

    @kdaug: At the Doha Dash no doubt!

  57. 57
    WereBear says:

    @Mnemosyne: Ermagerd! Wait till GG hears about this one!

  58. 58
    p.a. says:

    @kindness: Usually hate/hate. This love thing was disturbing. I think that JpodCole got beamed back up, and the real thing is back on earth. Those alien anal probes make you cranky. Terran probes do too.

  59. 59
    eataTREE says:

    John Cole is now my favorite technical support representative of all time.

  60. 60
    kdaug says:

    @BGinCHI:

    Can we leave Mrs. BG out of this please? What did she ever do to you, Cole?!

    Interesting point. I go days without looking in a mirror. When I do glance, I’m briefly startled by the rugged yet remarkably handsome gent staring back at me, but then I get on with other business.

    The woman, however….

  61. 61
    fordpowers says:

    and.. the fucking assholes complaining are probably looking at it on internet explorer. for that alone – they should be shot.

  62. 62
    Keith G says:

    @Corner Stone: Ha! You are expecting a truthful discourse? Silly boy.

    Fuck you. I’ve had a shitty two days.

    Job loss? Cancer? An important relationship 86-ed? A good friend pass away? You tested positive?
    Were it any of those, I am truly sorry. Less than the above, why crap on people?

  63. 63
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Trollhattan:

    Dollars to donuts (mmm, donuts dollars)

    Fixed for the 1%. Or the 53%. Or the 73%. Whatevs %.

  64. 64
    Violet says:

    Vintage Cole! So good to see. Say, can I ask for some help with my computer? Can you tell me how to get the cup holder to stay available all the time? It keeps disappearing!

    Seriously, sorry you’ve had some bad days. Hope things improve. January is so often teh suxxors.

  65. 65
    Violet says:

    @raven: Still feeling good about your decision?

  66. 66
    the Conster says:

    Cole, you need a friend like mine – a certified CA pot grower (West County, Sonoma) who send their friends packages that turn those frowns upside down.

  67. 67
    MikeJ says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    Edward Snowden claims the NSA can remotely access your computer using radio waves

    Tempest has been around for a long time. If we were to drive through the suburbs of DC, I could point out buildings to you that look like plain old glass cube office buildings, difference being that between the mirrored outside wall and the place where any work is done there’s a four foot air gap and a concrete wall.

    Yes, somebody with the right tech could sit in a van outside your house and read your monitor just by picking up RF that leaks. No you don’t need to be connected to the internet. It does require power though.

  68. 68
    raven says:

    @Violet: Yea! It was probably dumb to get so worked up but I did feel a little funny bailing out. After I decided and called I was at the Y and a nurse that I know was telling me about the same surgery that her dad had. She said he was totally unable to play golf, his passion, so he went ahead. She said it was horrible for a couple of months but he’s glad he did it. I am nowhere near that. If I surf fish for a week straight it really hurts and I do get some pain in the evening after I swim. I’m going to scale back the swimming, maybe try spin and add some pt to the shoulder. It seemed like a good idea to jump on it but that long time frame just didn’t compute. I was thinking it was going to be like when I had my knee scoped but that isn’t the deal.

    thx

  69. 69
    dmsilev says:

    @Violet:

    Say, can I ask for some help with my computer? Can you tell me how to get the cup holder to stay available all the time? It keeps disappearing!

    Put a cup in it? Should work, or at least should be amusing to watch. (Don’t fill the cup with water though; might be a tad heavy…)

  70. 70
    MikeJ says:

    @Ash Can:

    There’s no way the video’s going to be funnier than that.

    I watched the video. It wasn’t even close.

  71. 71
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Mnemosyne: I read the article. Are you saying that this technology doesn’t exist?

  72. 72
    Shortstop says:

    @Keith G: Welcome to Balloon Juice! I see you just arrived and are reading your very first post by our host!

  73. 73
    Shortstop says:

    I have decided that I really like cam screws.

  74. 74
    BobbyMac says:

    Can I just “Like” this JCole-ness? Fuck you people. Relax

  75. 75
    Corner Stone says:

    @Betty Cracker: I’ve read the article three times now. Capt Mnemo is at her apex here of mendacious lying liartude.

  76. 76
    dmsilev says:

    @Shortstop:

    I have decided that I really like cam screws.

    Been assembling some furniture, or were you just suddenly swept off your feet by a lovely Philips-head driver?

  77. 77
    dance around in your bones says:

    Brings to mind a comment I wrote on another epic Cole rant:

    I often imagine Cole with a chain around his ankle, dragging a laptop full of a chattering cacophony of commenters and pity him somewhat, while being ever so grateful that he is here and providing the space for us to be assholes or empathetics, sappy or drunk or indignant, witty and erudite or foolish and pedantic.

    It was on this thread from May 2013. Epic.

    eta:that was spoze to be a blockquote, not bolded. FYWP

  78. 78
    Corner Stone says:

    @Betty Cracker: Oh, and btw…DAMN YOUSE!!
    ESPN’s Mel Kiper makes Johnny Manziel first pick in his initial 2014 mock draft
    NOOOoooOOooOOOOOOoooo!!
    /Vader anguish

  79. 79
    Yatsuno says:

    Heh. I had to tell wifey about this one. Having said that, I’m sorry you’re going through a rough patch JC. Maybe some extra cuddles with your excellent feline will help. Or a nip from Rosie.

  80. 80
    MikeJ says:

    @Shortstop:

    I have decided that I really like cam screws.

    Now that Carolina is out of the playoffs he may have time to help you with that.

  81. 81
    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader says:

    Burn this motherfucker down.

  82. 82
    Shortstop says:

    @dmsilev: You dirty dawg! How did you find out about my pet name for my man? Have you been spying on my laptop using existent technology?

  83. 83
    Scamp Dog says:

    @Mnemosyne: Based on the Times article, I’d say it’s plausible. The trick is that they have to install hardware somehow, perhaps in a USB cable, and that hardware does the communication to an NSA computer a few miles away.

    Doing it while powered down sounds like nonsense, but I didn’t see that claim mentioned in the NYT article.

  84. 84
    Mnemosyne says:

    @El Caganer:

    A 2008 map, part of the Snowden trove, notes 20 programs to gain access to big fiber-optic cables — it calls them “covert, clandestine or cooperative large accesses” — not only in the United States but also in places like Hong Kong, Indonesia and the Middle East.

    It was released by him as part of the documents he gave to Greenwald. How would you say it?

    ETA: The article says five times that the document came from what Snowden released.

  85. 85
    Corner Stone says:

    @Scamp Dog:

    Doing it while powered down sounds like nonsense, but I didn’t see that claim mentioned in the NYT article.

    You mean Capt Mnemo read something, scrambled it all the F up, and then just made it into whatever she wanted it to say?
    Shocked! Shocked, I am!!

  86. 86
    asiangrrlMN says:

    @Yatsuno: Thanks for alerting me to a classic Cole rant, Yutsy. The only thing that would make me happier is if he’d posted a pic of Sir Willie Whiskerton III sticking his tongue out at us to accompany this post.

  87. 87
    dmsilev says:

    @Shortstop: Just lucky, I suppose.

    Or possibly there’s a hole in your shielding and you need another coat of tinfoil.

  88. 88
    Keith G says:

    @Shortstop: I was just noting the faint attempt to duck responsibility for the Christyism.

    There are bad days and then there are bad days.

    Why not just own it?

  89. 89
    Corner Stone says:

    @Mnemosyne: It’s not a claim by Snowden. It’s in documents.
    That people can read and review. And then report on.

  90. 90
    gnomedad says:

    John Cole won an Emmy tonight.

  91. 91
    Schlemizel says:

    Just watched it on rerun . . . maybe I was expecting too much after that build up bur, meh. It was OK, not great but OK.

  92. 92
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    I think the NSA has a vested interest in making people — especially other countries — believe that it has capabilities that it actually doesn’t, especially countries like China that are constantly spying on us electronically. That’s why I think it’s bullshit. The expert that the Times talked to said it hasn’t been done before:

    “What’s new here is the scale and the sophistication of the intelligence agency’s ability to get into computers and networks to which no one has ever had access before,” said James Andrew Lewis, the cybersecurity expert at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington. “Some of these capabilities have been around for a while, but the combination of learning how to penetrate systems to insert software and learning how to do that using radio frequencies has given the U.S. a window it’s never had before.”

  93. 93
    Cassidy says:

    Fuck you. I’ve had a shitty two days.

    Cat lady mumu lost at the dry cleaners? Sucks, bro.

  94. 94
    Cassidy says:

    @Mnemosyne: Moriarty and his line of code.

  95. 95
    chopper says:

    @Corner Stone:

    i just melted my computer down into a pile or red-hot slag. are you guys now saying the NSA can read what’s on what’s left of my hard drive??

  96. 96
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    I suspect the only person more upset about that clip than the four of “The Five” co-hosts mentioned in that performance is the one who has to pretend she barely noticed she wasn’t considered worthwhile enough to mock.

  97. 97
    Shortstop says:

    Also too, it apparently took me decades to find out that you get what you pay for with drills. I am feeling pretty spunky right now. Betty, you were right! I can do this!

  98. 98
    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn says:

    Good to know that being a full-service blog still includes dealing out severe tongue keyboard lashings.

    Whip me! Beat me! Moderate my comments!

    Damn, I feel so ALIVE!

  99. 99
    Baud says:

    I’ve had a good couple of days.

    Anyone got a link to that video?

  100. 100
    Corner Stone says:

    @chopper: I don’t know what you’re even blabbering about. Maybe you need more meat in your diet?

  101. 101
    jenn says:

    Sorry to hear that you’ve had a sucky couple of days, John. My Rx: chocolate, tea, a good book/movie, and a couple of dogs to warm the feet. Feel free to revise as appropriate! :)

  102. 102
    Yatsuno says:

    @asiangrrlMN: We weren’t going to get that lucky. But any JC rant is worth listening to, if for no other reason than he doesn’t hold back when he’s scolding us.

  103. 103
  104. 104
    burnspbesq says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    Edward Snowden claims the NSA can remotely access your computer using radio waves … even if the computer is powered off and not connected to the internet:

    Chloe could do it on “24.” Why do you doubt The Almighty NSA?

  105. 105
    Baud says:

    @Cassidy:

    Thanks!

  106. 106
    JPL says:

    @chopper: Well duh! You could be in my shoes, my hard drive is boring.

  107. 107
    Laertes says:

    Re the update: You’re awesome. You’re an inspiration to take-no-shit-from-whiners everywhere. Rant on, brother.

  108. 108
    burnspbesq says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Shocked! Shocked, I am!

    Shame you weren’t electrocuted.

  109. 109
    Jade Jordan says:

    John’s been drinking tainted water. Be kind to him.

  110. 110
    Baud says:

    @Cassidy:

    Oh you

  111. 111
    danielx says:

    I foresee a great future for Cole as an aide to Chris Christie – I understand there are several openings and he most definitely has the right attitude.

  112. 112
  113. 113
    Cassidy says:

    @Baud: At least it was a genuine “good day” and not a rickroll.

  114. 114
    Matt McIrvin says:

    @Mnemosyne: The article doesn’t say anything about the computer being powered down. If somebody can physically access your computer and stick something into a USB port, they can spy on you; that’s basic computer security, and not particularly surprising.

  115. 115
    Shortstop says:

    @Jade Jordan: Wasn’t that a song by the…no. No, I can’t.

  116. 116
    raven says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: So where were you yesterday? Classic Center, Georgia Center. . .?

  117. 117
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @chopper: Could you move the slag a little to the left?

    We’re not getting a good signal here.

  118. 118
    danielx says:

    @Matt McIrvin:

    It’s at least as plausible as the NSA inserting hardware into computers and routers before they’re shipped to end users…actually, it sounds like one and the same.

  119. 119
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Matt McIrvin:

    Still, with an estimated 100,000 or so installations it probably wouldn’t hurt to give your USB ports and internal expansion slots a once-over just in case.

    See, if the US is spying on China, Iran, and Mexican drug gangs, they must be using the same technology inside the US to spy on engadget readers! It’s the only thing that makes sense!

  120. 120
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @Scamp Dog: Right. The interviews I’ve heard and that NYT article are talking about having to get someone to insert a thumb drive in a computer to install whatever this is, or maybe a USB cable that gets swapped out for a regular one somewhere along the way. Radio signals are what comes out of the computer, not how they hack into it. Though maybe once things are set up they can go the other way also. The report on NPR today said it can transmit as many as eight miles away, to a briefcase-sized receiver.

  121. 121
    Shortstop says:

    @danielx: What’s “at least as plausible”? That it can be done to a powered-down device? Because nobody but Mnemosyne is saying that anyone at all is making that claim, and she’s declining to back herself up.

  122. 122
    JPL says:

    John, I’m sorry you had a shitty couple of days.

  123. 123
    Number One Blah says:

    One other front pager puts links “Below the fold” or however you guys call it. This way auto play or not we are forwarned and know what we are getting into.

  124. 124
    maya says:

    I gather Cole still hasn’t found the mustard.

  125. 125
    efgoldman says:

    @kdaug:

    I go days without looking in a mirror. When I do glance, I’m briefly startled by the rugged yet remarkably handsome gent staring back at me

    Wen I look in a mirror, I’m surprised to see my father looking back. Especially because he died ten years ago this coming May.

  126. 126
    Suffern ACE says:

    So if I were going to send out a computer breaking radio wave, I’d probably send it out during Opie and Anthony. I’m assuming most computers try to tune in when we’re not around.

  127. 127
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @raven: Tate Student Center

  128. 128
    Shortstop says:

    @Bill E Pilgrim: Part of the confusion stems from Mnemosyne reading that the combination of technologies allows a scale and sophistication that allows the NSA to penetrate particular systems no one has been able to access before, and somehow interpreting that to mean that no one has ever done this before at all.

  129. 129
    efgoldman says:

    @Yatsuno:

    Or a nip from Rosie.

    Can she get the screw top off those little teeny bottles?

  130. 130
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @kdaug:

    startled by the rugged yet remarkably handsome

    I’ve never seen anyone describe “wearing a toupee” quite that way. Works though.

  131. 131
    MikeJ says:

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    Radio signals are what comes out of the computer, not how they hack into it.

    “Hack” is a term that is applied very loosely to a wide variety of things. No, they might not be able to take over your computer and cause it to run code you don’t want via RF, but they certainly read your screen and watch everything you type.

  132. 132
    Citizen_X says:

    Fuck you. I’ve had a shitty two days.

    Geez, it’s not like you’ve been driving a lot recently or anything.

  133. 133
  134. 134
    raven says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: Oh boy, great parking!

  135. 135
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Shortstop:

    That it can be done to a powered-down device? Because nobody but Mnemosyne is saying that anyone at all is making that claim, and she’s declining to back herself up.

    I retract “powered down.” That was something only Infowars was claiming. Can we drop that distraction now?

  136. 136
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @MikeJ: Right, I just meant not how they gain access. This sounds like it’s running something on your computer, and they do it by having physical access.

    The reports I’ve been hearing don’t leave any room for this being some paranoid fantasy, BTW, I mean people are saying yes, they’ve been doing that, in fact one of the things they’re complaining about is that now they can’t use the “Hey, use this USB cable why not” trick anymore.

  137. 137
    Baud says:

    The sad thing about the NSA’s radio wave spying tech is that it works better than Comcast at transmitting information.

  138. 138
    Yatsuno says:

    @efgoldman: She’s a JRT. Never ever EVER doubt the capabilities of a Jack Russel Terrorist.

  139. 139
    kdaug says:

    @Bill E Pilgrim: Shit you wish, Pilgrim. I’d love to be balding. I keep cutting this fucking hair off, and it keeps growing back.

    I ain’t really got hair anywhere else, so I reckon all the “Yea! Let’s Grow!” genes migrated to my head. Irish/Scottish/Swede mutt. We ain’t known for our swarthyness.

  140. 140
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @Baud: Okay then Mr Brown, in order to provide technical support, do you mind if I take over your desktop? Oh wait, we already did. Silly me.

  141. 141
    JPL says:

    Anne had the Springsteen/Fallon youtube early this morning… Mistermix had the same you tube this afternoon and I was hoping for a Cole repeat. Maybe I was thinking to much.

  142. 142
    Corner Stone says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    I retract “powered down.” That was something only Infowars was claiming. Can we drop that distraction now?

    Your entire fucking comment was a garbage assed distraction. And just bullshit from start to finish.
    In other words, one of your usual comments.

  143. 143
    Baud says:

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    If Comcast is capable of taking over my computer, they’re ten times more competent than I gave them credit for.

  144. 144
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @raven: Seriously, yes! I was quite surprised (pleasantly).

  145. 145
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @Baud: Good point. I was sort of doing Comcast realizing that the NSA had already given them access. I think. Who knows.

  146. 146
    windpond says:

    @kindness: Yes you can. John’s blogging, complaining, responding, swearing. That’s the part I’ve missed for many months and now it’s back.

  147. 147
    Jebediah, RBG says:

    @efgoldman:

    Wen I look in a mirror, I’m surprised to see my father looking back.

    Wish I could say the same. Movie-star handsome, my dad was. Towering integrity, too, and wouldn’t toot his own horn with a gun to his head. He’s been gone since 1996, goddamnit.

  148. 148
    A Humble Lurker says:

    And it’s just another day at balloon juice.

  149. 149
    Anne Laurie says:

    @El Caganer:

    And is there anything more pompous than the name of that show? “The Five.” Five what? Five bonobos? Five of diamonds? Five most disfiguring venereal diseases?

    They’re honestly proud they can count that high.

  150. 150
    Mnemosyne says:

    @kdaug:

    Irish hair. There’s nothing you can do but go with it.

  151. 151
    Fluke bucket says:

    Now THIS is the Cole that hooked me and keeps me coming back for more!!!

  152. 152
    danielx says:

    @Shortstop:

    No, I was referring to the whole physical access deal. However, now that you mention it, I’m investing in a new tinfoil hat – they can read your brain waves! Alex Jones says so!

    Note: you’re correct about getting what you pay for with drills, but god-DAMN are they getting expensive.

  153. 153
    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: @SiubhanDuinne: OK, that chick needs help.

  154. 154
    Mj_Oregon says:

    I appreciate what you do here, John. Come back when you can and tell us why you had a shitty couple of days. Until then, blessings on you and your little canine/feline family.

  155. 155
    cckids says:

    @sparrow:

    I never met more parochial idiots with stupid things to say about where I was from than in “liberal” East-coast cities.

    Ha. Its been a long time, but in 1985 I was in NYC, touring Parsons Design School. A local guy, on finding out I was from Nebraska, asked , in all seriousness, if we had buffalo roaming the streets, and if the Native Americans were friendly. Oy,

  156. 156
    MikeJ says:

    @cckids: That’s Wyoming, not Nebraska, duh. You just have sand dunes and Warren Buffet.

  157. 157
    catclub says:

    @Mudge: “a massage” pedicure

  158. 158
    Shortstop says:

    @Keith G: Well, right now the tally seems to be dozens amused vs. one offended. I agree that keeping perspective is important, as you tell Cole, but are you sure you don’t want to give that a try yourself?

  159. 159
    chopper says:

    @danielx:

    heh. infowars. srsly.

  160. 160
    Shortstop says:

    @Mnemosyne: Well, all right, but the rest of your original assertions aren’t faring much better in this thread. Is there a one left standing? At any rate, tardy and ungracious as it was, I will treasure the only walkback I’ve ever seen you make. I admit I didn’t think you had it in you.

  161. 161
    Shortstop says:

    @chopper: Never saw it until tonight. Doesn’t seem to have much crossover with the NYT. Also, should be prosecuted for crimes against typography.

  162. 162

    @Shortstop:

    You probably should hang around more if you’ve never seen me retract anything before.

    Though I’m curious to see if the New York Times changes their opinion that Snowden deserves amnesty. After all, who really cares if he let the Chinese, Iranians, and Mexican drug cartels know how the US spies on them, amirite? It’s not like we need to know what they’re up to.

  163. 163
    themann1086 says:

    “Error found between keyboard and chair”

  164. 164
    different-church-lady says:

    @Kenn: Who are you again?

  165. 165
    different-church-lady says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    That was something only Infowars was claiming.

    Wait, I think I see the problem: you read Infowars.

    @Baud: Snerk!

  166. 166
    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo) says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Your entire fucking comment was a garbage assed distraction. And just bullshit from start to finish.
    In other words, one of your usual comments.

    I am surprised that this bothers you, of all people.

    Feel better, John.

  167. 167
    max says:

    @Mnemosyne: Since everyone else is being OT and I’m in a fightin’ mood today, Edward Snowden claims the NSA can remotely access your computer using radio waves … even if the computer is powered off and not connected to the internet:

    Sigh. Fine. You have heard of ‘bugs’ right? Little devices private investigators & the CIA use to listen in on people? Those tend to communicate with the world using radio waves.

    This would be the same basic idea here. In particular, if the NSA can intercept new devices in transit prior to first use, they can insert advice before hand. As for the networking aspects, radio waves are very common in networking. You will have heard of WiFi, I imagine, yes? Also Bluetooth? (I doubt you will have heard of ham radio networking (via shortwave), but that also exists.)

    There are circumstances in which deploying a bug this way would fail, but it depends entirely on the circumstances and who it is you are trying to spy upon. It could be a particular operation might be implausible, but I haven’t heard any specifics, so nothing to say about that. Of course, what they could do is simply install crap on, say, every new computer shipping to Iran, and hope that some or most of them are reachable, and then they could simply write off the ones that don’t. (The Chinese version of this is to install crap in their router firmware, a danger brought to our attention by…the NSA and other national security types. So evidently they don’t find the concept of doing something like this as implausible. Of course, if you’re deeply invested in hyping the Yellow Peril and maybe not so much invested in the dangers of somewhat megalomaniacal Bush administration holdovers than there’s not much I could say that would change your mind. I’m assuming not big on the foreign policy stylings of Bill Kristol though.)

    The more interesting phenomenon (to me anyways) is the persistent BIOS infector. That would have been impossible (more or less) in 1990 and very very hard/non-functional in 2000, but times & technology change, and apparently they finally got that to work.

    max
    [‘And yes, if you’re near an extremely powerful radio transmitter, it can light up your metal fillings – an awesomely power radio transmitter would eventually cause them to melt. The tinfoil hat thing, on the other hand, is silly.’]

  168. 168
    Uncle Cosmo says:

    Trust you, Cole? On something having to do with the performing arts? Never again. I don’t care what obscure shtick from my young-adulthood Bee might have been trying to parody, I had to shut that “performance” down after a minute and a half to keep from puking my guts out at its sheer offkey hamhandedness. It doesn’t deserve an Emmy, it deserves cremation with the ashes scattered over the Kanawha River, (Note I am referring to the “performance” & not the performer–though she sounds like she could use a remedial course at Famous Actors School…)

  169. 169
    bewleys says:

    That ACA thing you said in the header, was what I was thinking.
    The Government is rolling out a program as big as Social Security in its day, except with millions of more citizens, and it should be flawless?
    What planet are you people living on?
    Jesus wept.
    The bar here is pretty high, along with the incomes, I´m sure.

  170. 170
    brantl says:

    @MikeJ: I’m a computer technician, and you’re nuts. Period.

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