Late Night Horror Show: They Are Not Dead That Can Eternal Lie

Republicans are reaching deep into their criminal past to cheerlead Moar War, and the media reappearance of one particularly vile specimen nearly broke Mr. Pierce:

There are a hundred other conservative critics of the administration who Meet The Press could have called to make the same case Elliot Abrams made yesterday — the administration is “withdrawing” from the Middle East, why are we not yet at war in Syria?, why are we not as yet bombing the hell out of Iran, Israel abandoned, etc, etc — who were not career disinformation specialists, and who did not lie to the country on the country’s own dime. Didn’t anyone there stop and think, geez, even on a holiday week, we can do better than to lend what’s left of our credibility and what’s left of the credibility of our show to a guy who has lied so extravagantly through his entire public career? Was there nobody on duty in upper echelons who remembers Iran-Contra? (It was in all the papers.)…

Honest answer? No, no there was not.

… The last time a president was as “bold” as Gregory wants this one to be, he lied us into a war that continues to wreak ruin to this day. Elliott Abrams was working for him at the time. The time before that, peasants got slaughtered and American nuns got raped and murdered, and archbishops got ventilated on the altar, and Elliott Abrams, to whom the Dancin’ Master directed his volley of bad history, cheered all of this on, lied about it as part of his official duties, and continues to believe that to have been the height of patriotism and public service. Ghosts of the dead should howl him awake every night. He should be spat upon by the surviving families of the dead every day on his way to teach his history class. History itself should vomit him out of its mouth. Journalism should revolt at the very sight of him. He should be whatever is one rung below a pariah. Instead, he gets a guest shot to tell the nation he has spent his career misleading into armed conflicts in which he never would have picked up a weapon or stood a post that its foreign policy is not blood-soaked enough for his taste. It was a living parable of the uselessness of dead memory.

In case there’s a misapprehension that Elliot might be loyal to anyone or anything other than his own interests, this note from Wikipedia:

During investigation of the Iran-Contra Affair, Lawrence Walsh, the Independent Counsel tasked with investigating the case, prepared multiple felony counts against Abrams but never indicted him. Instead, Abrams cooperated with Walsh and entered into a plea agreement wherein he pled guilty to two misdemeanors of withholding information from Congress. He was sentenced to a $50 fine, probation for two years, and 100 hours of community service. However, Abrams was pardoned by President George H. W. Bush, in December 1992 (as he was leaving office following his loss in that year in the U.S. presidential election)…

Nice company you’re fluffing, Mr. Gregory.

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41 replies
  1. 1
    piratedan says:

    another shining example of IOKIYAR, and these are the guys who get paid to appear and shill for the opposition . Thank the FSM that hardly anyone pays attention to that shit anymore.

  2. 2
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    Damn, that’s some good spleen. I remember reading a lit critic who was tired of political thrillers written by liberals that were basically “Iran-Contra/Iraq War 2 except the good guys win this time.” She had a good point about wish fulfillment hurting one’s writing, etc., and is no conservative herself, but you look at Abrams and realize why people like reading that stuff: in real life, it never fucking happens.

  3. 3
    NotMax says:

    See? Ya beg ’em to stop giving McCain the spotlight, and what do ya get?

  4. 4
    askew says:

    Just continuing the never-ending trend of Republicans getting more morning time on Sunday shows. I am actually more offended by Newt Gingrich getting air time than Abrams.

    On a random note, I’ve been reading this article on what the top candidate for 2016 have been up to lately and I have to say I am disappointed. Only one candidate on the Dem side that I like, O’Malley. Our primary is sure going to look old with Hillary and Biden compared to the youngins running for the GOP ticket.

    That said, I’d kill to see an O’Malley – Christie or O’Malley – Walker race. We are likely to see Hillary – Cruz race instead. And considering Hillary’s ability to choke in during key moments in her career I am terrified.

  5. 5
    Little Boots says:

    wish I could never hear that name again.

  6. 6
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    MTP has morphed into Dick Dynasty. Gregory is desperately attempting to bond with the poutrage crowd in order to ensure that he doesn’t get canned.

  7. 7
    piratedan says:

    OT but nifty:

    the science is shaky but still would be cool if they could use real images instead of subjective extrapolations

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    Interesting how disgust is so literally visceral — I think it follows the path of the digestive system fairly precisely.

  10. 10
    Liquid says:

    That “Press the Meat to Shitcan Dancing Dave?” post and Betty’s subsequent clarification — “Yeah, that was inside US media baseball-ish, even for Balloon Juice.” should be cherished.

  11. 11
    Little Boots says:


    something tells me disco dave is not long for these here tv sets.

  12. 12
    Liquid says:

    @Little Boots: I have a friend who served a day in jail (No, it was not me. I drove him to his arraignment.) back in ~’09 for shall-we-say poor judgement.

    He went in on a Saturday; That next morning he joked about “Who wants to watch M.T.P.?” He was surprised when some other guy took offense, allegedly responding with “Dude, fuck David Gregory.”

  13. 13
    Little Boots says:

    @Liquid: @Liquid:

    was it karl rove?

    no, wait, he totally got away with it, din’t he?

  14. 14
    Little Boots says:

    @Little Boots:

    but you get bruce, because you are awesome:

  15. 15
    🎉 Martin says:

    W00t! Cleared my application read list a day early. I get to kick back for New Years – won’t pick up new apps until Thursday.

  16. 16
    Liquid says:

    @Little Boots: Your handle reminds me of this for some reason. *First two words out of his mouth* —

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  20. 20
    Liquid says:

    Went to an 80’s night at a local bar last week. Their swine DJ didn’t have — — As a relative young’un excluding “Back to the Future” and “American Psycho” from their list was something-something-*drink*

  21. 21
    Little Boots says:


    tears for fears. that’s all you need.

    and maybe bruce.

    and a very little madonna.

  22. 22
    Liquid says:

    @Little Boots: The only version of Madonna I like is Breathless Mahoney.

    “I get sick when you eat.”

  23. 23
    Little Boots says:


    no vogueing. okay, it’s silly but for it’s time:

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  25. 25
    Liquid says:

    Apropos of absolutely nothing I always had a soft spot for —

    Joi Lansing could teach Britney a thing or two about lip syncing. . .

  26. 26
    Little Boots says:


    actually, I really like that too. good choice.

  27. 27
    wasabi gasp says:


    Leave Joi Lansing alone!

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    Liquid says:

    A rejoinder that most likely exposes my gross youth/ignorance. —

    Post-Xmas Bonus — <-Big smile on my face!

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    Liquid says:

    “A Wish for Wings that Work.” —

    Even though I posted it I haven’t seen it in years. *Having watched it for the first time since it was on VHS* You’ll excuse me if there’s a bit of dust in my eye. . .

    “Time to fly, son.”

  32. 32
    Chris says:

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    Damn, that’s some good spleen. I remember reading a lit critic who was tired of political thrillers written by liberals that were basically “Iran-Contra/Iraq War 2 except the good guys win this time.” She had a good point about wish fulfillment hurting one’s writing, etc., and is no conservative herself, but you look at Abrams and realize why people like reading that stuff: in real life, it never fucking happens.

    These thrillers have always been wish fulfillment for partisans. Conservatives use them to imagine a world in which Our Heroes get to beat, kill and torture their way through every terrorist plot and the methods actually work. Liberals use them to imagine a world in which the people we pay to serve and protect us actually serve and protect us from the predators who’re doing the kind of harm to society that al-Qaeda and the KGB could only dream of. (“24” did a fuckton of pandering to both cliches, which is probably a big part of the reason for its success).

  33. 33
    Tommy says:

    When I watch stuff it blows my mind how many folks want to fight a war.

  34. 34
    Liquid says:

    Addendum – Wish for Wings that Work – <- Restart that shit!

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  37. 37
    Liquid says:

    *Kim Pine Blam gif*

  38. 38
    Amir Khalid says:

    A pretty loopy suggestion:
    Matt Yglesias says let’s replace the Gregorian calendar with the French Republican one: 10-day weeks, three-week months, leap years not figured out yet. The man has genius ideas, I tell ya.

  39. 39
    Liquid says:

    @Amir Khalid: How do ya know Noah wasn’t nine hundred years old and something about stories that are way older than said collection of blah blah b l-fuck it *drink*

  40. 40
    Lurking Canadian says:

    @Amir Khalid: As long as the Republicans promise to self-destruct on 9 Thermidor, I’m all for it.

  41. 41

    @Amir Khalid: He also wants to do away with licensing requirements for people like hair dressers and the like.

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