Any man with a microphone can tell you what he loves the most

I guess the plan is:

1. Jerk Ron Fournier off.


3. Profit.

Rand Paul on a mic he knew was hot:

“I’m all wired up here, um,” Senator McConnell replied.

“I just did CNN and I just go over and over again ‘We’re willing to compromise. ‘We’re willing to negotiate.’ I think… I don’t think they poll tested we won’t negotiate. I think it’s awful for them to say that over and over again,” Paul said.

“Yeah, I do too and I, and I just came back from that two hour meeting with them and that, and that was basically the same view privately as it was publically [sic],” McConnell agreed.

Paul added, “I think if we keep saying ‘We wanted to defund it. We fought for that and that we’re willing to compromise on this’, I think they can’t, we’re gonna, I think… well I know we don’t want to be here, but we’re gonna win this I think.”

(h/t The Sailor)

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81 replies
  1. 1
    rikyrah says:

    Funniest thing about this is the quote about the Democrats saying the same thing in public as they did in private…….imagine that

  2. 2
    fuckwit says:

    @rikyrah: The clear tell of a bunch of people who are full of shit: they’re baffled by honesty, consistency, and principle.

  3. 3
    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader says:

    You do NOT want to play Stratego with these savants.

  4. 4
    PsiFighter37 says:

    “I think if we keep saying ‘We wanted to defund it. We fought for that and that we’re willing to compromise on this’, I think they can’t, we’re gonna, I think… well I know we don’t want to be here, but we’re gonna win this I think.”

    I didn’t play the clip so I can preserve the purity of my ears, but that phrasing sure doesn’t make it sound like they are confident of winning.

    I think Rand’s probably internally jumping for joy because he watched Ted Cruz walk the plank all alone, and everyone’s basically taken a shit on him. Rand’s just as extremist as him, but now he also looks more reasonable by comparison.

    Frank Rich did a weirdly glowing piece on Rand for NY Magazine recently that made me puke a little in my mouth. He did good work at NYT, but I feel like he’s become a bit firebaggy over the years.

  5. 5
    Suffern ACE says:

    They might as well talk in romulan. Are they criticizing the Dems for not poll testing “we won’t negotiate?” Or republicans for using that?

  6. 6
    dww44 says:

    A bit off topic, but about the shutdown. To thwart the ever rightward tilt of my local paper I’ve formed a LTE writing committee, just today, with 4 or 5 members of the local Dem Facebook page.

    I need links to quickly ascertain when the Senate passed its budget, when it was sent to the House, and how many times and when Sen. Patty Murray asked specifically who on the GOP side to go to conference to come up with a budget. Also need links to the actual number contained in the clean CR the senate passed and what it relates to. I.e. like the other numbers it gets compared to.

    There’s a typical right wing lte in today’s paper saying that Dems are refusing to negotiate, only offered up one item to negotioate, that kind of stuff. We are going to rebut with clear and unassailable facts.

  7. 7
    David Koch says:

    Aqua Buddha really is an moron.

    It’s shocking how some self described liberals fell for his grift on dronzes

  8. 8
    diana says:

    @rikyrah: yep, best quote here

  9. 9
    Culture of Truth says:

    Step 1: Obama says, I will defund the government without background checks
    Step 2: GOP refuses
    Step 3: Ron Fournier demands GOP negotiate
    Step 4: LOL

  10. 10
    PsiFighter37 says:

    @dww44: Budget passed in late March. Chasing down the budget conference requests might be hard, but I think the count is at 19 now.

  11. 11
    PsiFighter37 says:

    @David Koch: We want to make sure we’re not blowned up while doing triple espresso shots at Starbucks, dontcha know?

  12. 12
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader: hmm. Something tells me that the bombs would all be in the front row and they’d think we wouldn’t figure that out when they kept passing to open the game.

  13. 13
    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader says:

    @Suffern ACE: lolz

  14. 14
    Felonius Monk says:

    @David Koch:

    Aqua Buddha really is an moron.

    I was going to say that is an insult to morons, but on second thought you are right. He is a moronic twit trying to get a corner on the stupid market.

  15. 15
    scarshapedstar says:

    What did the box turtle say to the rug?

    Compromise,derpfruggle, over’n’over…

  16. 16
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Suffern ACE: Bombs go in the back row. They are crafty that way. Also, the flag goes in the second row from the front on the left side – surrounded by sappers.

  17. 17
    👾 Martin says:

    @PsiFighter37: They’re out there. Here’s a starting point:

    This afternoon and for the 13th time since March 23rd when Senate passed a budget resolution, Senator Kaine asked unanimous consent the Senate proceed to the consideration of Calendar #33, H.Con.Res.25; the amendment at the desk, which is the text of S.Con.Res.8, the budget resolution passed by the Senate, be inserted in lieu thereof; and that H.Con.Res.25, as amended, be agreed to. Further, that the Senate insist on its amendment, request a conference with the House on the disagreeing votes of the two Houses; and the Chair be authorized to appoint conferees on the part of the Senate; and that following the authorization, two motions to instruct conferees be in order from each side:

  18. 18
    fuckwit says:

    @dww44: That’s a fantastic idea, and I’ve been part of those efforts and it DOES work.

    My advice to you is to follow very closely in Obama’s footsteps, and keep it clear and simple. OBamacare is a LAW not a bill. It was passed years ago, and the time for “debate” and “compromise” on it is long over. It’s the law of the land. A House minority cannot, will not, and must not be allowed to hold the nation hostage in order to sabotage one law they don’t like. To do so would be the end of the republic, the end of rule of law, and what comes after that would be anyone’s guess, but it wouldn’t be good.

    I wouldn’t get mired in the details about all the house/senate machinzations and that will just not get your message across, and ultimately it’s irrelevant.

    All the Orange Man needs to do is let a clean CR go to the floor, so that Democrats and a few sane R’s can approve it. Do not get bogged down in trying to explain all the inside baseball; it could take you years to just understand all the sausage-making. Doesn’t matter: THIS SAUSAGE IS ALREADY MADE, it’s a law, the SCOTUS approved it, it’s been the law for years, and nobody gets to use blackmail or extortion to remove it.

    When you’re explaining, you’re losing. This is not a hard thing, and you don’t need to explain it. Rethugs are attempting to undermine the foundations of this country., to destroy the Constitution. You can’t allow hostage-taking, extortion, and terrorism to become the norm. You have to take a stand somewhere. This is that time.

  19. 19
  20. 20
    Tommy says:

    @David Koch: I like what Charles P. Pierce at Esquire calls the five minute rule. You listen to somebody like Rand Paul and they sound sane until the 5:01 moment and then you are like what the fuck are you talking about? It is universal. You can’t escape it.

  21. 21
    Ash Can says:

    Remember, these were the people who were absolutely convinced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Romney would win the presidential election.

  22. 22
    SatanicPanic says:

    Suuuuure they’re going to win. Unskew those polls!

  23. 23
    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader says:

    @dww44: Ask what it is Republicans are offering: the ability to visit our national parks and memorials?

  24. 24
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: nah. I figure you disable the bombs with one miner and as an eight he’ll be killing scouts until the third row. No way they’d risk a colonel near the front. The colonel is far too important for that. The colonel of course is the highest ranking officer on the field. The Marshall had better things to do. He would have gone, but no exit strategy, and he would have been a good Marshall, too, or so he says on his daily talk radio show that’d on from 2-3 pm in Poughkeepsie.

  25. 25
    MattR says:

    @dww44: This may be useful for you.

    Democrats say they’ve already compromised in the debate by accepting the Republicans’ baseline spending level of $986 billion, which includes the sequester cuts, versus the $1.058 trillion level urged by Senate Democrats. They say the Republicans should make a similar concession by dropping the effort to derail ObamaCare and accept a “clean” package.

    “We are taking their number, and we would hope that they could also take their number, so that we can keep the government open,” Rep. Steny Hoyer (Md.), the Democratic whip, said Monday.

    But Republicans reject that argument, saying the $986 billion level is simply the figure dictated by the Budget Control Act, which was passed in 2011 with broad bipartisan support — including the backing of the same Democratic leaders most critical of the GOP’s negotiating strategy.

    And this is a link to for the continuing resolution in question. You would have to dig through to figure out all the various amendments and votes. (EDIT: I tried reading the text of the original resolution and the amended senate version but it was not very illuminating. There weren’t many numbers. Just a lot of references to previous appropriations.)

  26. 26
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader: well not really the national parks. Just the memorials. War making and some kind of statue to the dead are really the only two functions of government. I read that in Plato.

  27. 27
    Suffern ACE says:

    Browns are in first?

  28. 28
    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader says:

    @Suffern ACE: Yep, won’t be long now before they abandon Losertown and relocate to a better city.

  29. 29
    fuckwit says:

    Also, I really want some brain bleach to remove the image of McConnel and Paul jerking Ron Fournier off.

    Which one of them holds their mouth open for the money shot?

  30. 30
    superfly says:

    Ron Fournier was on NPR today, with some nut from the American Spectator and Larry Sabato (so a real balanced show) and he accidentally spoke a little truth when he referred to Congress as “…both chambers of commerce…”

    The rest was just what you would expect, “both sides do it, we have to get this debt and deficits under control, blah, blah, blah…”

  31. 31
    poco says:

    @PsiFighter37: Frank Rich was always firebaggy–he led the pack in weird attacks on Gore. In fact he (other than Maureen Dowd) was the worst of the bunch.

  32. 32
    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader says:


    Which one of them holds their mouth open for the money shot?

    Duh, both of them.

  33. 33
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader: couple more months of the government shutdown and default, there is a good chance that there won’t be any better cities available. Which city is going to be able afford floating bonds to build a stadium if interest rates spike?

  34. 34
    dww44 says:

    @MattR: Thanks, for this. It is very helpful. I am going to share all of this with my fellow lte writers. Again thanks to Psifighter37, Martin, and Matt for the links. I”ve saved them all. Off to work now.

  35. 35
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader: there should be some kind of Sim Village video game where that could be tested.

  36. 36
    Anya says:

    Okay, so they both were aware that the mic was on. What were they trying to do? Was this a message to their base or were they trying to hand the media the latest GOP talking point to repeat?

  37. 37
    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader says:

    Browns are gonna be devastated when they find out they don’t get the Vince Lombardi trophy for going 3 and 2.

  38. 38
    fuckwit says:

    I know a lot of you like football, but doesn’t Paul’s and the teabagger’s, um, confidence, remind you of the lame outburst in this press conference:

    And you-all football fans know (and most were probably glad) how that season ended for him.

  39. 39
    catclub says:

    @rikyrah: Except there is another interpretation of this. “I think it’s awful for them to say that over and over again” – This is what they are referring to, not the ‘we will not negotiate’.

    Unlikely, but possible.

  40. 40
    MattR says:

    @dww44: I bet that you could get a list of all the dates that a request was made to go to conference by contacting the office of one of the Democratic Senators. I would guess that Senator Murray or one of the other members of the budget committee would have that handy.

  41. 41
    dww44 says:

    @MattR: Yep, that would be helpful as well. Thanks.

  42. 42
    Randy P says:

    I guess the plan is…

    You give them too much credit. Having a step 3 implies they have a goal, but it is now apparent that the plan is more like:

    1. Shutdown! F**K yeah! Freedom!
    2. ??
    3. ????

  43. 43
    NotMax says:

    Elizabeth Warren, short version: “Hostage taking is all they have left, the last gasp of those who cannot cope with our democracy.”

    (Full speech here.)

  44. 44
    GregB says:

    The cognitive dissonance that must fill the GOPer faithful mind is overwhelming.

    Let’s shut the government down!

    Hey, shutting down the government causes cuts to services! Outrage!

    It’s just a slim down!

    How can you take children off of treatment!

    (At GOP debates)Let those without insurance die!

    A large chunk of this nation is full of people so unhinged from reality that they thought Romney would beat Obama in a landslide and that this is as Rand Paul would quote Charlie Sheen, winning!

  45. 45
    max says:

    @Anya: Okay, so they both were aware that the mic was on. What were they trying to do? Was this a message to their base or were they trying to hand the media the latest GOP talking point to repeat?

    Bluff. ‘Look how confident we are in victory! Pay no attention to the anonymous leaks from behind the curtain! We all hate Obamacare government spending and we’re willing to negotiate! You know those liberals! All we have to do is yell and send a couple of old people out on scooters and we win!’ Etc. Etc.

    Obviously, the Gallup polling was correct. Republicans always win. They have been winning since Ronald Reagan. If it wasn’t for those damned communists and those welfare queens, there never would have been a Democratic party victory since the Civil War. Also, America has never lost a war, Marines NEVER retreat, and the media is a plot.

    [‘If only Meade hadn’t cheated at Gettysburg with loaded dice – America would have a record of flawless victories for 237 straight years.’]

  46. 46
    MattR says:

    @GregB: As Colbert said, the slimdown is a good thing and its all Obama’s fault.

  47. 47
    dogwood says:

    I can’t say for sure how fundamentally stupid Rand Paul is. But I’m pretty sure he does’t make the top ten of stupid teabagger congressmen. What I am sure of is that he is completely ignorant. No better example than his appearance at Howard. Didn’t you all get the feeling that he learned African Americans used to be republicans about ten seconds before he went on stage and just couldn’t wait to share this “obscure” fact with the students? Anything that’s news to him must be news to everyone else. That’s a true mark of ignorance coupled with arrogance.

  48. 48
    👾 Martin says:


    Okay, so they both were aware that the mic was on. What were they trying to do? Was this a message to their base or were they trying to hand the media the latest GOP talking point to repeat?

    These guys are mic’d a lot, so I don’t think that was the concern – I’m sure the sound engineers hear all kinds of stuff that we’re unaware of. But I don’t think these two realized they were being recorded, or that the recording would be released.

  49. 49

    Rand Paul is a libertarian. His entire personality is based around his smug glee that he’s figured out the very simple truth that everyone else is too dumb to have noticed that defines how the whole world works.

    He is definitely not the dumbest congressman by any stretch. That bar is HIGH, and he’s the only Tea Party senator because he was smart enough to tack to the center immediately after winning the nomination, repudiating the Tea Party in a public press conference the next morning. For extra points, his acceptance speech was about how he would never go moderate.

  50. 50
    GregB says:


    That’s the entire Glenn Beck model in a nutshell, except the new shit he’s learning is from that Christianist propagandist David Barton and it is utter anti-factual dreck.

  51. 51
    karen marie says:

    @dww44: When you get it together pass it along. I live in Arizona (FSM help me) and would love to send a letter to the editor. And Congressman Schweikert whose office staff thinks the whole thing is a hoot.

  52. 52
    amk says:

    @MattR: Colbert’s tear down of that real boob on pox news bill o’rly is epic.

  53. 53
    SatanicPanic says:

    @dogwood: Rand Paul is basically GWB part II- a spoiled person of probably normal intelligence who had his life planned out for him and everything handed to him. He’s been surrounded by libertarians who are convinced they know everything, so he never had to develop any intellectual curiosity. He didn’t have to scrape his way to the top like Gingrich, so he never even learned how to bullshit in an interesting way. He doesn’t appear smart because he doesn’t have to. I don’t think he is an outright dunce like Dana Rohrbacher or Rick Perry but in the end does it really matter?

  54. 54
    YellowJournalism says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader:

    Duh, both of them.

    Also known as “spreading the wealth.”

  55. 55
    Yatsuno says:

    @YellowJournalism: Yeah…definitely gonna need bleach of brain after that.

  56. 56
    John O says:

    The GOP won’t have max leverage until the debt ceiling comes. The shutdown will play out until then.

    These people are nuts.

  57. 57
    Radio One says:

    this is my favorite clip of the week.

  58. 58
    dww44 says:

    @karen marie: I will.

  59. 59
    Yatsuno says:

    @John O:

    The GOP won’t have max leverage until the debt ceiling comes. The shutdown will play out until then.

    Yup. Thinking I’ll be out until at least the 18th, but hopefully not much longer after that. I hope.

  60. 60
    John O says:


    Good luck, and I’m sorry. That’s a long stretch.

  61. 61
    NotMax says:


    If it is any consolation, sensing that the disaffection we’re already seeing among the general (non-Kool Aid drinking) public will snowball in the direction of outright disgust and you’ll be back sooner than that.

    Meanwhile, hoping someone unplugged the coffeemaker.

  62. 62
    Tommy says:

    @SatanicPanic: Yeah I kind of agree.

    My parents are Republicans. But SANE. I recall as a kid (I am 44) they bought me chemistry sets. Rockets I built. Cool shit. They never told me the earth was flat. I wonder about kids these days. What they are being taught/told.

  63. 63
    Yatsuno says:


    Meanwhile, hoping someone unplugged the coffeemaker.

    My last night at work was preparing the office for our long absence. For me that meant grabbing the desk chocolate. Priorities must be maintained.

  64. 64
    NotMax says:


    I wonder about kids these days. What they are being taught/told.

    “Time for history. Which Flintstones DVD should we watch today?”

  65. 65
    piratedan says:

    @Tommy: most likely the GOP version of The Truman Show

  66. 66
    Tommy says:

    @NotMax: I work for myself. It took me a ton of time to log-in and create a profile. My gosh I will pay less. At least $60 less per month. I hate to admit this, but my income is not what I would like and I can get some help, it would be far, far less then what I pay now if you factor that in. But I am a “proud” man and not sure I will go there.

    Now I am a raging liberal, but I was not so sure how this healthcare thing might work out. Seems it might work well.

  67. 67
    Mary G says:

    @Yatsuno: Hang in there. Thank FSM you have chocolate!

  68. 68
    John O says:


    If it is any consolation, sensing that the disaffection we’re already seeing among the general (non-Kool Aid drinking) public will snowball in the direction of outright disgust and you’ll be back sooner than that.

    I think you’re misreading it, because all the guys in charge of the GOP are only watching FOX, too. Hope I’m wrong about this, but I think we’re seeing what those smart guys call epistemic closure taken near its limits. It’s like the election, when such an enormous portion of the GOP was convinced they were winning. Unskew those polls and all…

  69. 69
    Tommy says:

    @NotMax: Going to babysit my four year old niece tomorrow and this weekend so her parents can have a day or so to themselves. They have Cardinals tickets tomorrow!

    Funny thing. My family members are all not so liberal. But if you try to come up in my house and say stupid stuff, lots of PhDs in said house, you will get curb stomped. Katie and I will have some fun. Learn some stuff maybe.

    I’d never force my views down her throat, cause well my parents never did that to me. How Republican parents got a “hippie liberal son.” We are going to have some fun tomorrow.

  70. 70
    jill says:

    has he morphed into Sarah Palin? my god, what did that statement even mean?

  71. 71
    Tommy says:

    @jill: My mom is the smartest person I know. A life long Republican. She voted for Obama in 2008. She said to me:

    Palin is shit all stupid, an affront to smart women everywhere.

    I loved my mom a lot, more afterwards.

  72. 72
    The prophet Nostradumbass says:

    I was watching a repeat of Chris Hayes’, show, and he had some shithead representative from Texas, Blake Farenthold, on, blathering on about how he wants to defund “Obamacare” and keep the government shut down.

    I looked at him, and wondered, “he’s kind of big, is he diabetic?”, so I googled, and, lo and behold, of course he is! He, of course, gets free treatment for that through his congressional health insurance. He wants to make sure someone like me can’t get any coverage.

    Am I a bad person for hoping he gets run over by a bus?

  73. 73
    MikeJ says:

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    He, of course, gets free treatment for that through his congressional health insurance.

    Which is now Obamacare. Congress has to buy insurance through the exchanges.

  74. 74
    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again) says:

    Doug wins another internet for the title of the post.

    Tuck this’n away in a dry, safe place, DJ- I think it will come in handy soon:

    I never seen you looking so bad my funky one
    You tell me that your superfine mind has come undone

  75. 75
  76. 76
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    Am I a bad person for hoping he gets run over by a bus?

    Why do you want to destroy a bus?

  77. 77
    Tommy says:

    @The prophet Nostradumbass: I am 44. About 5’4′ on a good day. There was a time in my life were I weighted more then 100 + pounds then I carry around today.

    I won’t bore you with how I lost that weight (I starved myself), but I am total anal about what I eat. I got nothing in my house that isn’t “good” for you to eat.

    Now I don’t judge people, but I see then Congresscritters all the time (mine is one) that look like they have never missed a meal and wonder …….

  78. 78
    DecidedFenceSitter says:

    @Tommy: Tommy – where will your personal cash do more good? Going to the insurance company, or supporting local businesses because you have it in your pocket to spend? Hell, if that’s too pragmatic a reason for, take whatever you would get in a subsidy, divide it in half – half goes into a long term savings account until you have six months of “out of work” expenses, and the other half goes to the cause of your choice. So now the federal subsidy is helping you prepare for rough times in the future AND going to the charity of your choice.

  79. 79
    Tommy says:

    Maybe more personal info then I should give ….

    My parents have more money then they can spend in a lifetime. They have often asked me what will I do with said money when they are no longer around. They were stunned when I told them I’d give it all away to charities and causes. That I make enough money to get by but I’d like to write a check to someplace, a huge check, and say, “I want to fund your cause for the next year, please don’t mention my name, just keep on doing what you do.”

    My dad was confused.

    My mom got it, she spends her free time donating her effort for a lot of causes.

    At the top of the list is battered women. I am a lover of women and I see myself maybe writing a large check for said cause.

  80. 80
    Chyron HR says:


    I am a lover of women

    Oh, yeahhhhhhhh.

  81. 81

    Is our Republicans learning? What about Punditubbies?

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