Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

It’s not even safe to go out and pick up 2 days worth of poop anymore.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Consistently wrong since 2002

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

There’s some extremely good trouble headed their way.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if I ever tried to have some of you killed.

What fresh hell is this?

I did not have this on my fuck 2020 bingo card.

The revolution will be supervised.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

I swear, each month of 2020 will have its own history degree.

I can’t take this shit today. I just can’t.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

We still have time to mess this up!

Where tasty lettuce and good mustard aren’t elitist.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Everybody saw this coming.

We have all the best words.

This is how realignments happen…

Shelter in place is one thing. Shelter in pants is quite another.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Fall Open Thread

Fall Open Thread

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Temps dropped into the fifties today again, and I was actually a little pissy earlier because it was kind of chilly, and then it hit me- “OH MY GOD IT’S BATHROBE AND PAJAMA BOTTOMS AND SLIPPERS AND MULLED CIDER AND CROCK POT WEATHER!”

So now I am rocking a bathrobe and slippers and a couple OF pets on my lap and all is good.

*** Update ***

Play the Powerball, Pirates fans. The Buccos are in the playoffs.

Reader Interactions

106Comments

  2. 2.

    aimai

    I’m making pork chops in a saffron/orange/tomato sauce for a friend who was hit by a car and needs dinners for her family of four while she recuperates. Either barley or couscous, steamed sugar snap peas, and a plum/almond crisp. Maybe one or two other things. Its definitely autumn here.

  4. 4.

    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)

    I love fall. Went singletrack running yesterday on the bluffline in a local state part. It was SO pleasant.

  9. 9.

    joel hanes

    Saturday we got the first cool rainstorm of the season, a month early.
    I make a big pot of my locally-famous gringo chili (I know what real chili is, but this is the popular-with-the-kids kind with tomatoes and beans and ground beef and Grandpa’s Secret Spices)

  12. 12.

    dmsilev

    Fall is here again, which means that it’s time for another iteration of Operation Cake, wherein I research new cake recipes for Thanksgiving (I’m very popular with my coworkers this time of year…). Any suggestions? Chocolate is traditionally the main ingredient, but other than that, I’m flexible. I have a few possible candidates; there’s a sachertorte recipe I found on Epicurious which looks interesting, a couple of others possibilities as well.

  14. 14.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Hey, as long as you’re serving as a warm spot for a couple of dogs and a cat, you have a purpose in the universe. Don’t knock it.

  15. 15.

    raven

    Bohdi update. Cervical problem, crate rest for a week hopefully will take care of it. Now we see how the doggie health insurance does.

  19. 19.

    La Caterina (Mrs. Johannes)

    @raven: Hope the Bodhi recovers soon.

    eta: now y’all kindly go down one thread and read my friend’s writer bleg.

  21. 21.

    Ripley

    So now I am rocking a bathrobe and slippers and a couple OF pets on my lap and all is good.

    Thanks for letting us know you’re safe, Grandma. We’ll be by in the morning to make sure you didn’t leave the gas on.

  22. 22.

    Captain Comrade

    I have a dog and tonight he dined on some old shepard’s pie. He was very happy and is very loyal.

  23. 23.

    dmsilev

    @Yatsuno: “Nutritious” and “Thanksgiving” are opposing concepts in my experience… Even when, like this year, it’ll probably be only about 6 or 7 people, my mom and I will go through at least a pound of butter and god knows how many eggs…

  26. 26.

    srv

    I’m going to build a cabin someday, and all cloth is going to be linens and flannels only.

    I’ve never found good slippers or moccasins that don’t make my feet sweat. Someone needs to work on that.

  28. 28.

    JCJ

    This morning it was 39 degrees outside when I left the house. Tonight my wife and I went for a walk in a nearby park with a path around a small lake and a trail through a wetland. Came home and had stew that had been simmering slowly as well as some freshly baked zucchini bread. Fall is the best.

  29. 29.

    Mike in NC

    Doing a fall long weekend road trip through central NC to hit some antique shows. Greensboro to Winston Salem then out to Blowing Rock in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

  31. 31.

    danielx

    Time for all that good fall stuff, but the part that I’m getting more and more impatient about is getting my teeth implants (both upper central incisors) finished so I can eat normally again. All due to an incident when I was eleven involving a skateboard and doing a faceplant on a concrete driveway – never let your kids have those inventions of the devil.

    Healing is mostly done, now I have to get the crowns put in in mid-November. Forget eating steaks and whatnot, I just want to be able to bite into a grilled cheese on whole wheat again.

    Although my daughter has enjoyed my rendition of “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”.

  32. 32.

    Redshirt

    Already across the valley I command many snakes of smoke scrawling into the sky, fires for warmth, too soon in September. Too early, and we all cry out “Where’s your global warming Al Gore?!”

  34. 34.

    Yatsuno

    @dmsilev:

    god knows how many eggs…

    This is why my mother has hens. And a couple of roosters. And horses. And doves. And border collies. And four cats. But at least the hens are good for eggs.

  37. 37.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Me too, I love fall with winter a close second. I’ve still got a lot of fall clean up in the yard and I should get some more firewood, but damn I hope summer’s really gone.

  39. 39.

    dmsilev

    @The Dangerman: We actually have a pumpkin + chocolate recipe that’s in the standard family repertoire. However, I made that for Rosh Hashanah just a couple of weeks ago, so probably something different would be in order.

  46. 46.

    PaulW

    @Keith P:

    How Ted Cruz of you.

    Ted Cruz is not a bathrobe and slippers kind of elitist. He’s a snobbish, won’t-play-with-others self-indulgent party pooper. He’s an idiot who would filibuster against the defunding Obamacare House bill that the GOP Senate is supposed to be for.
    Anyone buying a Cruz 2016 t-shirt right now has got to be a bigger idiot than Cruz himself, even though said t-shirt buyer has already proved to be a big sucker for the snake oil.

  47. 47.

    seaboogie

    Even in your deshabille, glad to hear you are wearing pants. It makes the blog a little nicer, somehow…

  48. 48.

    max

    @Lavocat: Damn, dude. That’s just sad. You’ve gotta get a woman.

    I dunno where an elderly cat lady named Marge is going to get a woman. Maybe hit up the rest homes?

    max
    [‘*You love hoarding? OMG, *I* love hoarding!!!’]

  49. 49.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @PaulW: It’s amazing to watch this soap opera and think that all this sturming and dranging is to stop….. people from getting health insurance. Somebody today actually mentioned the Kristol memo from ’93, saying HCR had to be stopped because it would be too popular. They gave the fucking game away twenty years ago, but almost no one on your Teevee gets that.

  50. 50.

    kindness

    John you forgot football. It’s fall when we have real football. Summer is play football. Fall, it counts.

  51. 51.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    BATHROBE AND PAJAMA BOTTOMS AND SLIPPERS AND MULLED CIDER AND CROCK POT

    See this is why I come to John’s place, for the recipes.

  52. 52.

    phoebes-in-santa fe

    Hey, Cole. Unless you print pics of you and the animals, I don’t believe a damn thing you’re writing!

    We want pictures…

  53. 53.

    xre

    It’s 82°F with 89% humidity in the MIA. “Heat Nation” is srsly apropos. Will be nice when that fall y’all are enjoying comes to us in Dec. or Jan.

  55. 55.

    Jay C

    Still stuck in the Scenic Berkshires for a couple of more days – frost warnings on the Weather for tonight: the trees are just starting to turn, but the height of leaf-peeping season is still a few weeks away.

    Finished the depressing task of finally closing the pool for the season: that, and the fact that fresh cherries are gone from the markets (well, at least until the damn trees fruit out in Chile or wherever) make me long for summer. Oh well…

  56. 56.

    Keith P

    @PaulW: I take it you haven’t read the GQ profile of him, then. He had a reputation in college as being “creepy”, in part due to him cruising (HA!) the women’s dorm hall in a paisley bathrobe.

  57. 57.

    CaseyL

    Oh, FSM yes: I adore autumn. I love the crisp air with a little chill to give it character. The amber-gold sunsets. The scent of woodsmoke.

    The last few hikes of the year, watching the foliage turn and mist line the slopes.

    The perfectly good excuse to stop with the hiking, break out the “snugglies” (flannels, fleece, sweaters, sheepskin-lined slippers), and curl up on the sofa.

    Sigh.

  58. 58.

    Redshirt

    Fuck your snuggie cider fueled Fall fantasies. Shit’s cold up here in the Tundra. You South Landers have no idea what “Real America” is like! Shit’s cold!

  59. 59.

    4jkb4ia

    Adam LaRoche vs. Trevor Rosenthal is all that stands between the Pirates and a playoff berth at the moment.

    Edit: Popped out to shortstop.

    Edit 2: All the good speeches from “Shoeless Joe” are in the wrong house.

  62. 62.

    Origuy

    I was camping near Cobb, CA this past weekend (where it rained cats and dogs Friday night and Saturday.) Cobb is a funky little village in the mountains west of Clear Lake, north of the Napa Valley. On my way out, I couldn’t find my iPhone so I stopped at the coffee shop in Cobb to use the wifi, to run Find My Phone. The cashier was busy and I was in a hurry, so I asked a patron which network to use, as there were several visible. The guy said the SSID was “VoteRonPaul2012”. I’d seen that listed, but I wasn’t about to try it until he told me it was the right one. Fucking Paultards!

    My phone was in my car, not back at camp, but I’d packed up so quickly I’d forgotten where I put it.

  63. 63.

    ? Martin

    @Origuy:

    The guy said the SSID was “VoteRonPaul2012″. I’d seen that listed, but I wasn’t about to try it until he told me it was the right one. Fucking Paultards!

    My phone was in my car, not back at camp, but I’d packed up so quickly I’d forgotten where I put it.

    See, the free market solves everything.

  67. 67.

    ruemara

    @Botsplainer: I. Want. To. Snorgle. That. FUZZ!

    It is fall here. I found delicata squash for almost a buck at TJ’s and acorn squash for $1.60. So I bought 2 of each. Am now contemplating a spicy delicata corn bread with the roasted sweet corn I stockpiled in the freezer and maybe an acorn goat cheese cake. I love fall produce, but I’m always on a diet and it just makes me bake more than ever. And fatten up my co-workers.

  69. 69.

    Felonius Monk

    @Redshirt:

    Shit’s cold up here in the Tundra

    Maybe we should ship you up a load of firewood.

    Always thought shit was hot. Had a friend whose favorite expression was “Hot shit, man.”

  71. 71.

    Captain Comrade

    Martin is a college teacher. Students are not allowed to file for bankruptcy after graduation. Those student loans will follow them around. Those debts shall be paid. College teachers are smart.

  77. 77.

    Captain Comrade

    Men of the Trades earn six-figure incomes. It makes one consider the value of studying stupid things, like the Martin college experience. Work being equal to a Force times a Distance. No Bankruptcy for You! Pay your teachers!

    Or maybe one could line up a gig with Balloon-Juice.

  78. 78.

    fuckwit

    It rained Saturday, the official start of what you’d call fall or winter here.

    We have two seasons where I am: foggy and rainy. This is the start of the rainy season.

  79. 79.

    ? Martin

    Huzzah! California is further destroying the free market!

    Remember that dance-party photo you regretted posting online? How about the time you over-shared your feelings about your ex or made that comment about Barack Obama?

    All forever etched in the annals of the Internet.

    Well, maybe not – at least if you’re under 18.

    Legislation signed by Gov. Jerry Brown on Monday will require Web companies, starting in 2015, to remove online activity – whether it be scandalous or simply embarrassing – should a minor request it.

    I’m sure this will generate outrage from the panty sniffers. “How will my child ever learn to not sext if there’s no repercussion from online bullying leading to her suicide!” And the onerous burden on tech companies this will impose (95% of which are in California, but nevermind that).

  80. 80.

    MomSense

    I’m not ready for the cold weather yet. I feel like summer went by much too quickly this time.

    Oh and the rumors are flying about 1 of the AQ mall terrorists being from Maine. My boys and some of their friends have an informal soccer game/league with some Somali kids who live about half an hour away. They were competitors in cross country and became friends. Everyone is freaked out about the news. We are all hoping things don’t get ugly.

  81. 81.

    Tommy

    You know I just went to listen to some bagpipes ….

    My family came here from Scotland many years ago. We came here honestly cause we were done fighting. I got the letters written. Why do we have to fight? Why we came to America.

    I now see in my life almost the need to fight more then I want.

    Abortiion isn’t bad.

    The earth isn’t flat.

    Somebody that gets SNAP isn’t a freeloader …..

    I feel almost back in those days just without a sword in my hands …….

  82. 82.

    Suzanne

    It was below 100 degrees here today. I went outside between the hours of 10 am and 3 pm. That hasn’t happened on a while. I liked it.

  83. 83.

    4jkb4ia

    John, thank you for not yelling at me. I suppose I am so sporadic anywhere these days you have nothing to fear.
    The rest of this comment will be about Tunch, because I tried to express to Tbogg (VERY badly in terms of simple grammatical English) that if I didn’t say something about Tunch then I quit. He meant too much to this site for any commenter who remembers in real time when John was a Republican, however INO, to say nothing.
    I remember when Omnes Omnibus (?) said that although John Cole worship is absurd, Tunch worship seemed perfectly rational. Tunch worship (or love) helped to build this community. I also remembered after I heard about Tunch when the Balloon Juice lexicon was in process and some commenter suggested “Tunch–Thought to comprise half the mass of the universe….” and you said, “Hey, that was a cheap shot”. (That’s legit. I was in that thread at the time.) I half laughed and half cried. Tunch was as much a family member as any of your human ones, and he knew you before you were the ringleader of a dozen big shot media figures :) That was important. Tunch didn’t need to project anything onto you, for good or bad. It was more than OK to cry. I understood from the Tbogg comments that Tunch was run over by a car or something similar, but the actuality was even worse. If I had been on the scene I suspect that words would have utterly failed.

  84. 84.

    YellowJournalism

    So now I am rocking a bathrobe and slippers and a couple OF pets on my lap and all is good.

    How very Hef of you, except you surround yourself with a different kind of fur.

  86. 86.

    Citizen_X

    @hildebrand:

    Yep, Fall is in the air, it only hit 91 in the Valley today.

    Hey, it’s in the low 30s this week way up north in H-Town. CELSIUS, that is. Low 90s Fahrenheit.

    Hell, I was overjoyed that I could turn off the AC and open the windows last night. That’s “Fall” round here.

  87. 87.

    koalaholik

    @The Sailor: That was hilarious! I have added this site to my favorites. I just read her piece about Australia. This woman is insane – I love her. Thanks for sharing

  88. 88.

    handy

    The Buccos are in the playoffs

    The Pirates went the entirety of the Clinton and W administrations and a whole term and change into Obama’s since that last happened for them. Congrats.

    And this time you won’t have Barry Bonds dogging it out in left field not throwing out Sid Bream either. Double plus bonus!

  89. 89.

    Ash Can

    Yeah, it’s cooled off here in Chicago too, and it’s getting dark a lot earlier these days. The Cubs are marking time till they can all go home, the Bears are in full swing, the deciduous trees are all starting to look a little shopworn, and I guess it’s time to break out the saddest happy jazz song ever written.

  92. 92.

    Tommy

    @The Sailor:

    LOL.

    I’d made a fantastic buy, but when I searched “Big Bear Head” it gave me a San Diego craigslist ad entitled “Big Bear needs some quick head now” and then I just decided to never go on the internet again.

    I went to LSU where to this day we keep a live tiger, LSU Tigers, on campus. I could maybe make a fortune selling tiger heads :).

  93. 93.

    Keith P

    OH MY GOD IT’S BATHROBE AND PAJAMA BOTTOMS AND SLIPPERS AND MULLED CIDER AND CROCK POT WEATHER! PLUS WARM SCHWEDDY BALLS.”

    Fixed.

  96. 96.

    max

    @Cacti: The Pirates have fans?

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the Somali Pirates have a Facebook page. Or a LinkedIn page.

    max
    [‘Will Say ARR! For Food.’]

  97. 97.

    TheOtherWA

    And John, I’m with you on fall. Wear comfy clothes, cook a lot and hang out with friends. Nothing wrong with that.

  98. 98.

    Tommy

    Wow. From links on this page I came back to only the second movie I’ve ever seen with my father. The first was ET. I took him to see The Last of the Mohicans when I was like a Senior in college.

    I thought he would be interested, he wasn’t. Still to this last day I think this last scene is one of the best in a movie.

    BTW: Nothing ever makes my dad happy. I could have taken him to see Citizen Cane and he would have bitched about something. Why he is my dad ….. I often do the same!

  100. 100.

    piratedan

    since the new Fall Season is upon us…. it must be time for me to post an old favorite:

    5 Coolest TV show theme songs (imho, naturally, your mileage may vary)

    5) Peter Gunn – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oysMt8iL9UE
    4) FLCL – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj_3SF7jLSU
    3) Route 66 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffeF7kkjXIM
    2) The Man From U.N.C.L.E. – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQA-9LIS1es
    1) The Avengers – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPSWrGJjur8

    Honorable mention:

    Cowboy BeBop, High Chaparral, Paladin, BECK, Mission Impossible and Get Smart

  102. 102.

    karen

    @danielx:

    You’re so lucky to get implants. I have 4 teeth in my mouth because the others were removed because they were rotted from a condition I have (Sjogren’s Syndrome) which attacks the gland that creates saliva and tears. I wanted the snap on smile for my lower denture but in the DC area, it runs about $2,700 per implant and with no job, I don’t have that kind of money. I’m happy that you can have implants because it’ll make life better for you and I know that there’s a 6 month period where your jaw has to heal and I hope it heals well.

  103. 103.

    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)

    @dmsilev:

    my mom and I will go through at least a pound of butter and god knows how many eggs

    Lots of nutrition in those ingredients.

  104. 104.

    bemused

    @Botsplainer:

    Gorgeous pup. Our sweetie is 6 months old this week and about the same size. She is a cuddly dog who will jump into my husband’s lap while he is reading the morning paper and stay sprawled there contentedly.

  105. 105.

    PaulW

    @Keith P:

    I take it you haven’t read the GQ profile of him, then. He had a reputation in college as being “creepy”, in part due to him cruising (HA!) the women’s dorm hall in a paisley bathrobe.

    …
    you’re sh-tting me.
    how the f-ck did he get into the women’s hall in the first place? wouldn’t they have called campus sercurity on his pervy ass?
    f-cking entitled Ivy Leaguer bullsh-t artists, every one of them should be arrested for douchebaggery… we need more University of Florida alums in government dammit! All these Harvard/Yale bastards are ruining everything…!

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