Pavlovian (Open Thread)

bacon_lady - Copy

This is a gross story, but since this blog recently covered canine anal gland expression, what the hell: Every weekday morning when I’m making breakfast and packing lunches for the outside-the-home worker and student, my boxers station themselves nearby and wait for me to throw them a piece of salami, a scrap of cheese or — the most prized treat of all — a slice of bacon.

It doesn’t always work out for them. Some days, breakfast is cereal and lunch is PB&J and fruit, soup and salad, etc. But they get treats often enough that they’ve learned to sit in this one special place and drool the entire time I’m doing my morning kitchen prep work.

This means that after I’ve shooed them away (with or without a payout), I have to clean up two puddles of drool. Every. Fucking. Weekday. I wipe up the drool, then spray 409 where the drool was and wipe that up.

Post cleanup, and aside from the 20 minutes or so between when the entire floor is mopped and it starts to get nasty again, the Drool Zone is the cleanest spot in the entire house.

Please feel free to discuss whatever.






110 replies
  1. 1

    REPOST: Fantasy Football. Who is interested? I want to run a BJ league again. The past few years have been a blast. I’m sure there are others who want to play or run a league. I created a page on my website to aggregate all the BJ-themed leagues. Not much time left, so join or create a league today! http://www.avianwaves.com/BJFL.aspx

    Usually they fill up fast, so don’t be shy about commishing. It’s an easy job.

    If a FPer could bump, I’d sincerely appreciate it. Otherwise I’ll just hit some open threads over the next few days.

  2. 2
    Adolphus says:

    Bacon Lady would be the best super hero ever.

  3. 3
    piratedan says:

    the one word that the dogs have learned to respond to in our household above all others is….. “oops”, that means something hit the floor in the kitchen and it’s a first come first serve kinda basis….it could be anything from broccoli to milk to a scrap of meat, but the scramble of nails on flooring always happens as a mad dash upon the tile and laminate takes place.

  4. 4
    Bunter says:

    Ah, yes, the drool. I have a bloodhound. Everything in my apartment has drool on it. He sits in front of me and drips drool while I’m eating or preparing food. And then shakes his head and it gets all over the walls, ceiling, electronics, etc. Amazing how like SuperGlue it is.

  5. 5
    Glidwrith says:

    I will take drool over six inch strings of booger snot hanging from my kitteh’s nose – which she then would either lick up, inhale or fling onto the walls and furniture.

  6. 6
    gbear says:

    The only thing I have to add to this is waking up in the morning to having my cat walking up from the foot of the bed on my legs and chest and right up to my face, giving me a nice ‘good morning’ look and then letting loose with a nice wet sneeze.

  7. 7
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Bunter: Bloodhounds are drool machines, alright. My aunt had one. Jeebus, that dog could have irrigated acres of crops. My two boxers aren’t terrible droolers as far as drool-prone breeds go; it’s usually just when they’re anticipating food. We had a male boxer who was much worse about it (though his good qualities canceled out that inconvenience!).

  8. 8
    Mary G says:

    Higgs Boson’s Mate is making me bacon for breakfast right now!

  9. 9
    lurker dean says:

    @Mary G: lol, thanks for the update :o)

  10. 10
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Mary G: Mmmmmmm! Bacon!

  11. 11
    beth says:

    Drool on my wooden floors – the bane of my existence. What I’ve always wondered is why dogs in dog shows, who are rewarded with treats, aren’t just drooling messes out in the arena? Can you train a dog not to drool or do they do something terrible to them like removing their drool glands?

  12. 12
    Svensker says:

    There’s gotta be a commercial use for “The Drool Zone”.

  13. 13
    Patricia Kayden says:

    Betty, those are two beautiful Boxers. Yesterday my Boxer mix dropped a dead squirrel at my feet in the family room. I almost died. He looked sad that I was screaming at him to pick it up. I guess he thought he was bringing me a gift and would be rewarded. Sigh.

  14. 14
    muddy says:

    I have a similar drool station. I put a mat there. There’s no way my floor would get mopped every day.

    Also we have a command of Don’t Beg, and then the dogs are not allowed to drill their pathos-filled eyes into me. So they avert their heads, or sometimes comically just the eyes. Still drooling onto the mat.

  15. 15
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    My cats have begun to come into the bedroom and terrorize me in the morning because they need their “fix”. I used to give them a little milk in the morning but one morning I was low on milk for my tea and opened a can of evaporated milk for them instead. OMFSM! Kitty crack if ever there is such a thing. Now they come creeping into the bedroom at 6am sharp like a bunch of strung out heroin addicts and follow me into the kitchen screeching at the top of their lungs until the can is opened and they get their drugs. I am doomed.

  16. 16
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Patricia Kayden: OMG! I’d freak.

    Our late, lamented boxer (predecessor to the current two) once made a similar present of a “dead” possum, which he dropped on the porch in front of us. It looked very convincingly dead too — its tongue was hanging out of its gruesome, stiff sneer, head twisted at an odd angle, etc.. But as I sat there catatonic with horror and my husband went to fetch a plastic bag to dispose of the body, followed by the dog, the little fecker jumped up and ran off!

  17. 17
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Patricia Kayden:
    It’s a dog thing too? Bianca, my cat, once brought me a dead squirrel. I praised her for a clever girl, but didn’t actually eat it, and of course I got rid of it when she wasn’t looking.

  18. 18
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    @Bunter:

    Cueball’s drool was legendary, he managed to get it all over everything, and it always amazed me how high he managed to launch it, I have cathedral ceilings and when we redecorated last year we were finding it thirty feet up the walls.

  19. 19
    Yatsuno says:

    @Betty Cracker: BAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sometimes you’d never know I was a practicing Jew. Went to Germany while I was still being a good boy. That was an adventure. Germans lurve them pigs something fierce. Turkish kebab stands were my saviour. Didn’t do falafel right though.

  20. 20
    Long Tooth says:

    Haven’t you ever heard of Doggy Drool (TM) cups? They attach easily, and prevent spillage for most breeds. They’re made in China, and have been sold in California for years.

  21. 21
    LarryB says:

    Betty – My late border collie Poochini wasn’t nearly as polite as your boxers. He would literally wedge himself between my legs and the counter any time I was cooking so as to ensure he’d catch any morsel that happened to drop. Oh, yeah, and the foot-long drool ropes were cool, too.

  22. 22
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Yatsuno: I’ll eat any pig in sight, but I still almost starved in Germany. I can’t stand pickled stuff, and damn near everything was pickled! I asked for a salad and it was served with ketchup! I survived mostly on schnitzel. Oh, and I kept accidentally ordering “dick” in my coffee instead of milk, apparently. I wondered why they kept snickering.

  23. 23
    zombie rotten mcdonald says:

    Life with Dogs. We all recognize that.

  24. 24
    zombie rotten mcdonald says:

    @muddy:
    Also we have a command of Don’t Beg, and then the dogs are not allowed to drill their pathos-filled eyes into me. So they avert their heads, or sometimes comically just the eyes. Still drooling onto the mat.

    I laugh so hard at that. Lucy the Orange has learned that if I am laughing at her, she’s SOL and she does the Peanuts head-down dejected scuffle-walk away.

  25. 25
    bemused says:

    It’s bad enough cleaning up dog drool when you see them doing it. Trying to wipe dry dog drool off the wood floors is no picnic. That stuff is like super glue.

  26. 26
    jeffreyw says:

    @Betty Cracker: They were snickering because that is how they stirred it.

  27. 27

    @Amir Khalid:

    I praised her for a clever girl

    She was; squirrels are hard to catch. At least the ones I’ve seen are. They’re much better climbers than cats are and rarely stray far enough from a tree for a cat to get a good chance to catch one. I’ve been told they’re more careless when they’re trying to stash something, but my cat growing up caught birds, mice, and even a rabbit, but never once a squirrel despite a lot of trying.

  28. 28
    kdaug says:

    My dog snores. Loud. Like, right now.

  29. 29
    ET says:

    But. But. Look at the hopeful doggy faces. So cute.

  30. 30
    cleek says:

    one of our cats goes absolutely insane over pork rinds (the other at doesn’t even like them a little).

  31. 31

    ugh back to work and the internets after a staycation. I want to go back to not paying attention.

    Bacon related: I only cook bacon in an oven. No more splattering and I get better results. The trick is not to preheat. Put the bacon on a cookie sheet and into a cold oven. Put the temp at 400 and set a timer for about 15 to 16 minutes. Time is highly variable, but make sure you’re watching closely at the end. Bonus: save the bacon grease liquid gold.

  32. 32

    @ranchandsyrup:

    You can minimize splattering when cooking bacon on the stove by using a bacon weight. It also helps to get nice flat bacon, which I generally prefer to the curly stuff. Also, too, dry cured bacon tends to splatter less because there isn’t as much water to cook off.

  33. 33
    TG Chicago says:

    Using 409 to clean drool off a floor seems excessive. From a germ perspective, I think you’d be better off using the 409 to clean wherever their dirty feet had been rather than worry about their relatively clean drool.

  34. 34
    muddy says:

    @zombie rotten mcdonald: It’s the same as when you shame a dog, and they do all they can not to look at it. All sideways bug eyed. I caaan’t seee eeet…

    Then there is The Snuff of Disgust, when requests and preferences are not being met. They “humph” just like we do, only through the nose.

  35. 35
    Yatsuno says:

    @ranchandsyrup: I have attempted this. Numerous times. I never get the same results as I get from frying. But I also like my bacon practically black.

    @Betty Cracker: Bread and döner kebabs. That was my salvation in Deutschland. That and very gracious hosts who respected my food requests. We even went shopping and made them fried chicken with gravy and mashed potatoes, which they enjoyed.

  36. 36
    shelly says:

    For two days in a row I had a BLT for lunch. Today, not. And my dog was not pleased.

  37. 37
    EthylEster says:

    I don’t think any self-respecting cat ever drools.
    AND I think most/all cats are self-respecting.
    These are two reasons I like cats.

  38. 38
    muddy says:

    @ranchandsyrup: I second this. In fact I will often put a tray of bacon on the lower rack when I am cooking something else, so as not to waste propane.

    ETA: also it comes out flat

  39. 39
    StringOnAStick says:

    @ranchandsyrup: I bake my bacon on an ovenproof wire rack positioned over a cookie sheet. If it’s sliced on the thin side, I use 325 degrees, thicker at 350. It takes longer but I no longer have to worry about over doing it and it getting too crispy. Since it is a messy cleanup, I usually bake up 2 packages worth and save a lot in the refrig or freezer. Eaten warm or cold, bacon surely hits the spot.

  40. 40

    You heathens that cook bacon in an oven disgust me. The whole point of cooking it in a skillet is to additionally provide the perfect cooking environment for eggs, sandwiches, hell – pretty much anything. There should be a UN convention that forces you to turn over your bacon to those of us who know how to prepare it properly.

  41. 41
    raven says:

    No drool here but the Bohdi sheds like mad and Lil Bit snores and scratches like mad!

  42. 42
    max says:

    Pardon me, Betty, while I roll my fucking eyes:

    Former National Security Agency contractor Edward Snowden gained access to some of the secret agency documents he leaked to the media earlier this year by borrowing the identities of top NSA officials, NBC News reported Thursday.

    Dude has root! (And toor!) OMG! It’s like they hired him to be a sysadmin!

    An anonymous intelligence official told NBC News that the NSA’s forensic investigation has already identified multiple instances where Snowden accessed some documents on the NSA’s intranet, NSAnet, by borrowing other employees’ user profiles.

    Why has this anonymous intelligence official not been thrown in the clink for 30 months yet?

    Snowden, as a system administrator, had the ability to create and modify user profiles on NSAnet in addition to accessing the intranet using those profiles, according to intelligence officials. He accessed the most sensitive documents by borrowing the user profiles of employees with higher level security clearances than his own “top secret” clearance.

    Well, normally one would say it was because he was in charge of the machine that goes ‘BOING!’ but this being the NSA obviously it was because he borrowed the fucking Wand of Awesome User Impersonation that he go from some dude in a cloak at Hogwarts. Probably that dude was an Elven/Dwarf halfling Communist or something Unamerican like that. Because Putin!!1! I’ll even bet that Snowden had the Talisman of Other Peoples’ Lunch Acquisition & Consumption, too!

    “Every day, they are learning how brilliant [Snowden] was,” a former U.S. official with knowledge of the case told NBC News. “This is why you don’t hire brilliant people for jobs like this. You hire smart people. Brilliant people get you in trouble.”

    Yeah, what you should do is do it the Bush way: when you are butthurt by terrorists and want to pwn all the comms in the US, what you should do is hire a bunch of old white guys who were Physical Education majors. That way, the worst thing they’ll ever do while slorping all your data is play dodgeball in the server room.

    max
    [‘Yeah, that’s the ticket. What could go wrong?’]

    p.s. If you ever wondered why they couldn’t manage to nab bin Laden back in the day, or how they could fuck up that whole Iraq invasion deal, or … too many fuck ups to list here… wonder no more.

  43. 43

    @👾 Martin:

    The whole point of cooking it in a skillet is to additionally provide the perfect cooking environment for eggs, sandwiches, hell – pretty much anything.

    This. Cooking bacon is the perfect way to warm and grease a skillet before cooking pancakes. You never have to worry about the first pancake being a mess because the skillet wasn’t hot enough to cook it properly.

    Also, too, I think the illustration for this post should be submitted to I Has A Hotdog. It looks like a front page picture for sure.

  44. 44
    ruemara says:

    Forget bacon. I’m nearly out of coffee. 1/3 of a tin. And nearly out of creamer. And SF pumpkin pie syrup. And nearly out of bacon. How the heck am I supposed to survive on that?

    My cats, thank FSM, do not understand what humans eat. No treats but bit of wet food and on holidays, I used to give my old kitteh a bit of fresh turkey or chicken or trout and shrimp. The new guys look at me like I put rubberballs and screws in their plates. Then they lick it a bit, push it around and knock it on the floor. Takkun does like a bit of yog or butter on his nose. Otherwise, the world of hoomun food is a mystery.

  45. 45

    @Roger Moore: makes sense about the dry cured. Will look into it thx.

    @Yatsuno: Getting super crispy is difficult because the oven is up to full temp at the end and things are cooking quickly.

  46. 46
    scav says:

    I was until now entirely unaware of what a potentially dangerous flashpoint bacon truly was. Yes, there was the odd pork-grease on bullet revolt, but now cooking techniques are pulling out UN resolutions. And we have yet to delve into the no doubt treacherous issue of streaky / side v. back types.

  47. 47
    Betty Cracker says:

    @👾 Martin: One of my grandmothers keeps an old coffee can next to the stove as a bacon grease reservoir (not a bit of a fire hazard!). Until I was 30 or so, I didn’t realize vegetables could be non-bacon-flavored. Miraculously, the old lady has the cholesterol count of a 22-year-old marathoner. Good genes. I haz them.

  48. 48

    @ruemara:

    My cats, thank FSM, do not understand what humans eat

    My cat is the worst of both worlds. He can smell meat and comes over to ask for some, but then rarely wants to eat any when I offer it to him. He will sometimes eat white meat but basically ignores red meat. The only human food he’ll eat consistently is canned tuna. That, and when I use coconut oil as a skin lotion, he likes to lick the remaining oil off my fingers.

  49. 49
    Yatsuno says:

    @max:

    If you ever wondered why they couldn’t manage to nab bin Laden back in the day

    Oh I have no doubts that they COULD…hell Dubya had him in his sights at Tora Bora. Bin Laden was much more useful to the Bushies alive than dead, so they let him scurry away. Much much easier to keep your contractor buddies fed with a live boogeyman than a dead one.

    @ranchandsyrup: Yeah, I hate limp bacon. Might as well give it to me raw if it’s limp.

  50. 50

    @Betty Cracker:

    I didn’t realize vegetables could be non-bacon-flavored

    What matters is that vegetables should not be non-bacon-flavored. Nor should donuts or orange juice or, hell, condoms and radial tires for that matter.

  51. 51
    Amir Khalid says:

    @👾 Martin:
    If I ever came over to your place, I fear I might burst into flames.

  52. 52
    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism says:

    @👾 Martin:

    What matters is that vegetables should not be non-bacon-flavored.

    Heresy! Corn and green beans, especially, benefit greatly from a little bacon grease flavoring.

  53. 53
    different-church-lady says:

    Please feel free to discuss whatever.

    And after that what is there left to discuss, really?

  54. 54
    muddy says:

    @👾 Martin: I turned down maple bacon cheesecake some months ago. It seemed like too much. But I have been obsessed with it ever since, how could I have chosen so stupidly!

  55. 55
    scav says:

    @👾 Martin: If it’s a consenting relationship between all parties (bacon, vegetable and consuming hominid) I don’t see it as anything we need involve ourself in. I’ve been in a memorable goose-fat/spring-peas/me three-way without lasting harm and the UN observer horses were in no way startled.

  56. 56
    Mnemosyne says:

    Ahh, kitty drool. My late kitty Natasha liked to lay on my chest to be petted and would drool with happiness. Trouble was, when she felt the drool creeping down her chin, she would shake her head and splatter you in the face. Bleagh.

  57. 57
  58. 58
    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader says:

    This means that after I’ve shooed them away (with or without a payout), I have to clean up two puddles of drool. Every. Fucking. Weekday. I wipe up the drool, then spray 409 where the drool was and wipe that up.

    Sounds like they may be Obots.

  59. 59
    Mnemosyne says:

    @max:

    Well, obviously if a rulebreaking employee was able to log in as other users to access information he wasn’t supposed to have, we need to close down the entire NSA system. You know, the same way we closed down our entire healthcare system after some employees at UCLA Medical Center violated HIPAA by accessing patient medical records they didn’t have authorization to look at.

  60. 60
    raven says:

    @different-church-lady: Oh shit, don;t say that. Somewhere someone is composing at 10,000 page post with multiple links and orders TO GO READ THIS AND THEN KILL YOUSELF!

  61. 61
  62. 62
    Betty Cracker says:

    @muddy: How could you indeed! Now I have to try it too, if I ever get the opportunity.

    @jeffreyw: Are you a professional photographer for Gourmet, Bon Appetit, National Geographic and Cat Fancy or something? Your photos are just beautiful. So jelly.

  63. 63
    Belafon says:

    @Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism: You missed the double negative.

  64. 64
    beer time somewhere says:

    Over 80 people sickened by maple, bacon jam on a Cronut Burger at Cdn. Nat. Ex in Toronto
    National Post link

  65. 65
  66. 66
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader: Or dude-bros? Except they’re girls.

  67. 67
    Loviatar says:

    Ta-Nehisi Coates:

    On the Death of Dreams

    Indeed, if we are — as the president asks us to be — honest with ourselves, we will see that we have elected a president who claims to oppose racial profiling one minute, and then flirts with inaugurating the country’s greatest racial profiler the next. If we are honest with ourselves we will see that we have a president who can condemn the riots as “self-defeating,” but can’t see his way clear to enforce the fair housing law that came out of them. If we are honest with ourselves we will see a president who believes in particular black morality, but eschews particular black policy.

    It is heartbreaking to see this. But it is also clarifying.

  68. 68
    Fred says:

    Our girls love them some “stray” corn flakes in the mornin’. They ain’t pickey. Lilly an’ Amber will eat most any tidbits with equal zeal. I saw Lilly spit out an olive I gave her (after rolling it around on her tounge for a minute) but she has of late even aquired a taste for those, in a pinch. Just drop a few flakes by accident in front of them and they will think it is steak.

  69. 69
    beer time somewhere says:

    @ranchandsyrup: I was kinda hoping Ford was one the people sickened. That junk food is right up his alley.

  70. 70
    Jane2 says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: You never know what is going to be kitty crack until it’s too late….and they’re relentless about it!

  71. 71
    Fred says:

    @Fred: p.s. Thems some cute doggies!

  72. 72
    JoyceH says:

    My precious beautiful dainty little princess puppy came in last night carrying something in her mouth that turned out to be an enormous flying insect, still alive. She would chew on it a bit, then toss it in the air and bat it with her paws. Maybe I should have taken it away from her, but I fled to the opposite end of the house. “Do whatever you want – destroy the living room, I don’t care!” I think she finally ate it because no evidence remains.

    On the upside, I think she seriously impressed the cats.

  73. 73
    Ash Can says:

    @jeffreyw: Ooooooh.

  74. 74

    @beer time somewhere: If it was a weed day, yes. If it was a crack day, not so much.

  75. 75
    jeffreyw says:

    @Betty Cracker: Thanks, Betty! Just an old retired fart.

  76. 76
    scav says:

    @Ash Can: Yep. Now Officially Hungry and I’m in a post-Thai curry stupor.

  77. 77
    zombie rotten mcdonald says:

    @Yatsuno:
    Much much easier to keep your contractor buddies fed with a live boogeyman than a dead one.

    Ahem. Sez YOU.

  78. 78
    Larime the Gimp says:

    Hey! An update on the laptop for my wife:

    We hit the goal within 12 hours! I’d like to say a HUGE thank you to all who supported it – whether with donations or good wishes, I know lots of people are as broke as we are. I’ll be getting her the new unit soon, and really appreciate the kindness.

    Someone asked about my comic. It’s called A VOICE IN THE DARK, and it comes out in November. It’s currently available for pre-order in the September issue of Previews.

    Thanks again!

  79. 79
    eemom says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    What IS a dude-bro?

    I made the mistake of asking my son (14), and got a mega eye roll, “Those are two different words,” and “STOP talking to other old people on Facebook” for my trouble.

  80. 80
    raven says:

    @Loviatar: Well there it is, not as long as I had hoped but “stuff up the cracks, turn on the gas, I’m gonna take my life… Cuz it’s all over”!

  81. 81
    raven says:

    @Larime the Gimp: Glad to help.

  82. 82
    Betty Cracker says:

    @eemom: Fuckifino. In the context I’ve seen it used here, I think it’s a catch-all meaning white, libertarian males in tight jeans with precious facial hair who are overly critical of the president and indifferent to the effects of racism or something? It may be Balloon Juice-specific or some hairball coughed up by old people on Facebook as your son suggests.

    @Larime the Gimp: Excellent news.

  83. 83
  84. 84

    @Betty Cracker: Urban dictionary def: http://www.urbandictionary.com.....rm=dudebro

    Repurposed here and in other political discussions to mean privileged (race/sex).

  85. 85
    raven says:

    @Betty Cracker: Urban dictionary:

    A man, typically in his twenties, who tries to act as extreme (or XTREME as he would say) as possible but doesn’t realize he is a total douche. Usually found drinking energy drinks or alcohol and listening to shitty tough-guy bands like Disturbed, Slipknot, Nickelback, Creed or any Metallica made after 1990. Often times, to up the ante on their XTREME factor, they will act like they are MMA fighters and wear Tapout brand clothing. Really, they are just total losers.

  86. 86
    opiejeanne says:

    @raven: Oh. Those guys.

    I was off a bit in my imagined definition. I missed the tough-guy, bad metal-listening, TapOut-wearing part.

  87. 87
    Bunter says:

    @beth: Drool rags in the show ring, apply copiously to flews and when necessary throw yourself over the dog to avoid spit on the judge. They sometimes get annoyed. The Hound is a retired show dog so I have some small experience with this.

  88. 88
    eemom says:

    @ranchandsyrup:
    @raven:

    If I mention Urban Dictionary, I’m past eyeroll and into a full fledged “omg Mom get a LIFE” lecture from both kids.

    Appreciate the company, though. : )

  89. 89

    @eemom: I’ll tie two extra onions on my belt for you and raven.

  90. 90
    Carrie says:

    @eemom:
    It means brothers that are good friends or friends that are as tight as brothers….
    i hear this all the time from my boys.
    an other saying they use which i love is “longtime borrow”. That means borrowing something from a dudebro which you have no intention of returning…
    then i have to step in.

  91. 91
    opiejeanne says:

    @ranchandsyrup: What is with the onions tied to the belt? Are we in Wales?

  92. 92

    @opiejeanne: It’s a Simpsons reference. Grandpa Simpson, specifically, talking about how they used to do it in the old days. Poor video quality: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRUj8dma0oo

  93. 93
    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism says:

    @Belafon: Why, so I did. I plead a combination of outrage at what I thought I saw and being too harried to read carefully. Fucking printers.

  94. 94
    opiejeanne says:

    @ranchandsyrup: There is an old British movie with (I would swear it’s these guys but can’t find any evidence of it) Alec Guinness and a very young Sean Connery, and when Alec leaves his home in Wales his mother makes him promise to wear a leek… I think in his belt. Maybe it was a necklace of leeks.

  95. 95

    @opiejeanne: I’d bet that the Simpsons writers took it from there. LOL necklace of leeks. So sandy.

  96. 96
    opiejeanne says:

    @ranchandsyrup: I think I located the movie, A Run For Your Money, but Sean Connery isn’t credited. I probably remembered him from some other old movie. I remember him wearing high-water pants with white socks in an early movie.

  97. 97
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @raven: Freaky!

  98. 98
    TerryC says:

    @StringOnAStick: I get my bacon, pre-cooked, in the Whole Paycheck breakfast buffet for about $8/lb. What I call “big hotel” quality bacon, already (just) cooked, for less than a pound of quality uncooked bacon.

  99. 99

    @opiejeanne: cool! Thx for the detective work. Will check it out.

  100. 100
    Carrie says:

    I guess this is a dead thread now but i’m just gonna bitch anyway cause, well…i feel like bitching and i don’t care if i’m talking to myself.
    i got the worst haircut in the world today……..i have curly hair and i’ve decided to get it cut shortish…not short but shortish….i brought a picture and everything, and now i have a poodle haircut.
    Imagine a mullet on a goddamn poodle. Now imagine that poodle really angry and upset.
    That’s me right now, short hair on the top and wavey waterpark slide in back.

  101. 101
    scuffletuffle says:

    How do your mopped floors stay clean for 20 minutes? My cats are tracking mud in as I mop…

  102. 102
    Randy P says:

    No longer have a dog, but for my last dog, a beloved black-and-chocolate lab, the Drool Station was my knee. She would rest her head there while I ate dinner and look hopeful.

    I’m pretty good at ignoring those big pleading eyes when I want to, especially since I really don’t think it’s a good idea to feed dogs at the table.

    But it’s pretty hard to ignore a soggy knee.

    (She shared my snacks everywhere else in the house, so perhaps my pretense to be self-disciplined is a little thin)

  103. 103
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Carrie:

    Imagine a mullet on a goddamn poodle. Now imagine that poodle really angry and upset.

    LMAO! Sorry, but that was funny. However, I feel your pain, Carrie. Right now, I have really long hair — long enough to be hot and inconvenient (gets caught in the power windows, etc.), but I’ve refused to get a haircut for like, three years now — perhaps even four? — because the last one was so horrible.

    I had a simple, shoulder-length bob, and I went in for a TRIM right before a big family occasion, and then next thing I knew, the lady was shaving my goddamned neck! Imagine an Afghan hound with flowing locks, and then imagine it shaved, spiky and very bitter. That was me.

  104. 104
    Carrie says:

    @Betty Cracker:
    I know , right? that’s why i got mine cut, we have a family reunion this weekend, the first annual (family name) Xmas in Sept. Extravaganza! and since it’s gonna be held at my cottage i’m gonna be a host!……….
    looking like a goddamn poodle.
    My anger has turned to sadness.

  105. 105
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Carrie: Ugh, I was in the exact same boat: Big Mother’s Day shindig at my house. Honest to god, if it had been at someone else’s house, I would have stayed home — it was that awful. But at least you’ll get all the fucking comments in one unbearable torrent rather than seeing people individually for weeks and weeks and hearing their astonishment. My sympathies.

  106. 106
    Carrie says:

    @Betty Cracker:
    Lol, exactly. That’s what i keep telling myself…once they’re all gone, i’ll smoke a big cracker and
    laugh…or cry, whatever.

  107. 107
    Hayduke says:

    @Betty Cracker: Years ago I watched my Australian Shepherd violently shaking a possum he had caught. He dropped it, tongue hanging out of its mouth, eyes open, it sure looked dead. A few minutes later it was scampering off.

    The worst surprise one cold winter day is when one of our boxers brought in a ‘poopsicle’ from the backyard, chewing on it like like a rawhide. It took me a few minutes to figure out what the heck it was.

  108. 108
    ruviana says:

    @👾 Martin: Bacon flavored chocolate yesterday on one of the cooking shows I watched.

  109. 109
    EthylEster says:

    @ruemara: My gilbert doesn’t even sniff. I don’t understand.

  110. 110
    opiejeanne says:

    @Carrie: I was in college, ca 1975, 25 years old and a music major with a concert coming up. Went into a salon and told them a pageboy because my hair was past my shoulders and I thought I would look better. They left one inch all over my head. I was humiliated and didn’t know how to pitch a fit yet. I paid them (young and stupid and easily cowed).ni did ask them afterwards if they actually knew what a pageboy looked like and there was a huddled conference between these two barbers ( they had decided there was more money calling themselves a salon, and my previous guy was a barber so I expected good things) and they decided the cutter had thought I meant a “Roman boy”. Anyway, my hair had a natural wave that annoyed the shit out of me and this made me look like i had horns.
    My friends said it was cute but they were being nice. My husband knew it was awful.

Comments are closed.