This is really sad:
Art Donovan played pro football for 12 years. The rest of his life, he spent telling everyone about it.
Donovan, 89, who died Sunday of a respiratory ailment at Stella Maris Hospice, played and talked a great game. He was a Hall of Fame defensive tackle for the Baltimore Colts and an engaging raconteur at banquets and on TV talk shows. His cherublike face, adenoidal voice and side-splitting tales of yore captivated generations of viewers who never saw Donovan collar a quarterback or take down a runner.
“Artie made a career out of telling people everything that he’d done right — and wrong — in football,” said Ordell Braase, his teammate on the field and in the broadcast studio. “The diversity of his appeal was amazing. Everyone wanted to hug ‘Fatso,’ from young girls to little old ladies.”
Donovan died just before 8 p.m., surrounded by 15 to 20 family members, said his daughter, Kelly Donovan-Mazzulli.
“My mom [Dorothy] was with dad to his last breath, as she was determined to be,” she said.
Ten times, Donovan appeared on “Late Night with David Letterman,” where he spun yarns about his youth in the Bronx, his hitch in the Marines during World War II and his experiences during the sanguinary years of the National Football League, when the game was played by “oversized coal miners and West Texas psychopaths.”
Often, his stories were laced with self-deprecating humor and some choice four-letter words. Like beer, Spam and junk food.
I know I have mentioned how my mom grew up a couple blocks from Memorial Stadium, and was a die-hard Colts fan. Daddy (what she still calls my grandfather, George), used to have a radio on top of the tv in case the tv went out, and back then, more often than not, it would. Mom and Daddy met the Colts at the train station when they returned from the Greatest Game in ’58, and when we were kids, we listened to that game on vinyl a number of times. She still winces when she hears the word Mayflower. So now you know where I got the sports bug- it wasn’t from the gardening/cooking/wallpapering/landscape sire (and don’t get me wrong, thank FSM for those inherited traits- except the wallpapering. Do people even use wallpaper anymore outside the White House?).
Back to Artie- some of my favorite memories of him were from his local Baltimore show called Donovan, Braase, and friends. Mom’s childhood best friend still lived in Baltimore, and would send VHS tapes with a whole seasons worth of the show, and Seth, mom, and I would sit down and binge on them, watching multiple episodes in a sitting. Artie Donovan was seriously one of the funniest and best story tellers I’ve ever listened to, and you just knew he was exactly the same on tv as he was while he sat on the corner bar stool drinking beer and eating crabcakes and living, as always, large.
JD_Rhoades
His memoir Fatso: Football When Men Were Really Men is one of the funniest sports memoirs I’ve ever read. RIP big man.
Billy Dilly
That guy was funny, I could spend hours listening to this guy, I loved the story when he played for the ill fated Dallas Texans before they became the Colts and some of the stories and adventures. RIP Big Guy!
Yatsuno
Woof. Sleep well Dawg.
Jay
I only knew the name, but from this post alone, I must tell you: Biden HAS to eulogize this guy. Get him on AF 2, NOW!
“Artie Donovan was seriously one of the funniest and best story tellers I’ve ever listened to, and you just knew he was exactly the same on tv as he was while he sat on the corner bar stool drinking beer and eating crabcakes and living, as always, large.”
NotMax
Never heard of him, but 89 is a more than respectable run, in yards or in years.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
89 years old, his wife at his side, surrounded by family after a career doing what he loved, playing football and talking about it? There are worse ways to go. You could make a joke about the only thing missing was the bullet fired by a jealous husband, but I don’t think Dorothy would like it.
I saw him on Letterman, read his book and loved seeing him on TV. He was great and as you say, it’s hard to imagine he wasn’t exactly what he seemed. I hope there is a heaven or summer fields for him– in my case they would be woods in a brisk autumn, or a nice bar with Art Donovan, Peter Ustinov, Richard Harris, Peter O’Toole and Amy Sedaris (just thinking of Letterman’s best raconteur-guests).
Redshirt
How is this sad, unless all death is sad? And maybe it is, but it’s also the natural progression of life, and it sounds like he lived a great one – a reason to rejoice!
TriassicSands
Some deaths are tragic, some merely sad, but Donovan’s sounds like about all one could hope for. He had a successful life, lived to be 89, and died surrounded by people who cared about him. We should all be so fortunate. RIP
Honus
Johnny U by Tom Callahan is a really good book about the Colts of that era. Lots about Artie, Gino Machetti, and the best story I’ve ever read about Big Daddy Lipscomb.
Redshirt
Serious question: Why do old people grow bigger ears? And what’s with all the hair?
HL Guy
Artie was hilarious. I used to love his frequent TV appearances on Baltimore TV when I lived there in the ’90s. He made me feel good about being a fattened up ex-footballer (though I wasn’t a pro, much less a hall-of-anythinger), with a few stories left to tell.
To paraphrase the most memorable (and maybe most apt) thing I ever heard him say, on the Tonight Show, I believe:
*I’m not worried about dying, if the doctor tells me I’m on the way out, just put me under a big shady tree with all the salami and bologna I can eat and a keg of beer and I’ll just eat my way out of here.*
Hope you’re getting your salami and bologna, have a cold one for the rest of us ‘Fatsos’ Artie- RIP
FlipYrWhig
One of the all time great talk show guests.
Ruckus
@Redshirt:
All the hair?
Just a hint. As you get older you get to suffer from simple things like gravity. You don’t get up as fast, you fall down easier and your hair falls from your head to places you never grew it before. Ears, being on the sides and in the way catch a lot of that. And on the plus side, with the close vision being less, harder to see and shave than an old rough face.
Ruckus
@Redshirt:
Forgot(another old timer trait) the part about ears getting bigger. They aren’t bigger the head and especially the hair get smaller.
In Artie’s(and mine!) case the ears were always big and sticking out more than average. But I’ll bet no one ever called him Dumbo.
Jamie
While we are being maudlin, I just want to commemorate Cris Gutierrez, one of the fiestiest, kindest, most alive people I have ever met. She died today. The world, San Francisco, and my life are the poorer for it.
It is traditional to say rest in peace here, but if I believed in heaven, I would imagine her giving St. Peter hell for being such a dick.
janeform
I used to live a couple of blocks from Memorial Stadium, but the Colts had left by then. The Orioles still played there, though, and it was fun to listen to the crowd from afar. JC, what block did your mom grow up on?
Mary G
O/T: I sent Higgs Boson’s Mate an email earlier and it turned out that he was only a couple of area codes away, so I went and scooped him up and he is staying in my spare bedroom. He insists I say that I saved his life.
Redshirt
@Mary G: Nice work. It’s inspiring. Thank you for your effort.
Angela
@Redshirt: Wow Mary. Good on you. I missed the comment of what’s going on with HIggs Boson’s Mate and I am inspired by your response.
cindy
oh, artie… we’ll miss ya, hon
Steeplejack
@Mary G:
Awesome! Good on you. Keep us updated.
@Angela:
It started here.
Jane2
@Mary G: Thanks, Mary, for doing this.
opie_jeanne
@Mary G: Oh! Bless your sweet heart! I am so relieved that I’m crying now.
Tell him we love him; I love him. He’s one of my favorite posters, right up there with Amir and Martin and Southern Beale and Yatsuno. I missed him when he didn’t post for a while.
He probably has no idea who I am because I don’t post all that often and it’s usually late at night for the East Coast crowd because I live over on the left side of the map.
Mike E
@Mary G: S/he who saves a life, saves an entire world.
Yatsuno
@Mary G: You are amazing and wonderful and beautiful. :)
Karen in GA
@Mary G: That is great news. And I insist you say you’re a wonderful person.
I’m so glad Dennis accepted your help.
Angela
@Steeplejack: thanks for the start link. Even more moving.
mclaren
More evidence that America needs to ban all sports.
Stiv
Longtime lurker,
Just had to say thank you Mary G.
And to bosuns mate, I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
Peace.
fuckwit
@Mary G: Thank you for doing that.
chopper
@Mary G:
Yer a mench, Mary. Good save.
dexwood
@Mary G:
Very cool.
@Honus:
As a kid growing up in Baltimore, I met all of those guys through my father. As for Mr. Donovan, his kids transferred into the Catholic school I attended. When he found out we had no sports equipment of any kind he did something about it. One morning while we were at recess, he showed up in a Caddy with a trunk full of sporting goods of all kinds.
Heirn
@Mary G: Long time lurker here, but I have always enjoyed Higgs Boson’s Mate’s posts. So happy to hear that someone was able to give the man a hand, and that he was willing to accept some help from someone. One day at a time is the way that a lot of us get through this crazy world.
Suzanne
@Mary G: You’re a mensch. Thanks for being a nice person.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
Well, we ain’t gonna see another one like him again. The mold was broken. So long, Fatso, and thanks for the memories!
MoeLarryAndJesus
RIP. Another fat guy, George “Boomer” Scott, died quite recently and without much fanfare, but he was one of my favorites as a kid. A huge first baseman with a big laugh and implausible grace at first base (8 or 9 Gold Gloves with the big mitt he called Black Beauty) and gone too damn soon.
RIP to all of our childhood heroes.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
@Mary G:
That is great. Thank you.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@Mary G: Thank you. Please tell him I wish him well. His nym has made me chuckle whenever I read it, and those chuckles were rare and welcomed during some rather dark times.
sharl
@Mary G: You are very awesome; thanks for doing that.
I’ve been reading HBM for awhile, with much appreciation. I hope he chooses to stick around for awhile longer.
Yatsuno
@Stiv:
Thanks to MaryG, he will have a tomorrow. That’s huge.
blahblah
I’ll never forget where I was when I read that football great Artie Donovan was gruesomely torn apart by a pit bull.
Angela
And hey HBM I’m so glad you are safe.
lurker dean
i always chuckled at higgs’ nym. i hope for better times for him, and major respect for mary g for helping.
Keith G
Random events have coincided to make this a very special evening, but nothing could make me happier than to read about the effort of MaryG and her help with HBM.
I have really valued HBM’s comments, and selfishly, I want to keep on reading them as time permits,
Suzanne
Dennis, I didn’t see what you had written until just a few moments ago, but I am thrilled to know that you have a safe place. I will speak your name to the heavens tonight, but in triumph, not mourning. You’re in my heart, and thanks for reaffirming my faith in this community tonight. Peace and happiness to you.
JGabriel
@Mary G:
Thank you. I like Higgs and enjoy his posts and I’m extremely relieved to hear he’s in the company of a friend and fellow Juicer.
You’re a good person (which, now that I think of it, I guess you probably already know).
P.S. Dennis, I’m glad you decided to stick around.
Scamp Dog
@Mary G: Thank you! Like many others, I enjoy the nym, and want to keep reading his comments.
Scamp Dog
@Scamp Dog: Oh, and thanks to all of the commenters whose expressions of hope and support played a part in this!
seaboogie
@Redshirt: Yeah, 89 and a life fully lived is probably how most of us would want to do it. A friend of mine died today, after falling off a roof a couple of days ago. Young daughter of 14, and his wife is a good friend too. They were moving back to the US from Costa Rica next month. A former sea captain, John was one of the most competent individuals that I have ever met, and funny as hell. This one was too short. For Artie, it sounds just about right.
John was a true progressive too. I used to work for him and Marianne in their asian import home furnishings business. Sometimes people would ask if we were “dog-friendly” and if they could bring their dogs in (on any given day we usually had 2 or 3 dogs on staff). John’s response was that “we even let Republicans in here”. Gonna miss him a bunch.
ruemara
@Mary G: aw man, such huge blessings on you and he both. Thank you, thank you so much.
Ruckus
@Mary G:
That is very, very nice.
Please tell him that we want him around.
dance around in your bones
Wow, BJ rescues people, too!
Mary G, good on you…..and best of wishes and stupid hope to Dennis. Long may he run.
piratedan
@ MaryG… wow, u teh awesome!
@ Higgs/Dennis … ty for taking the rope, we’ll even help you pull yourself in. This place, believe it or not is quite similar to your everyday dysfunctional online family. We may not agree on everything (understatement du juor) but there are many folks here whose opinion I respect and enjoy their time and insight. You are one of those people too. Please stay, we’re a selfish bunch of bastards, what can I say?
Ruckus
@Mary G:
I believe that Dennis was asking for help by posting earlier. It is still amazing that someone was able to take such a big step to help him. I wouldn’t normally say this but I’ll bet at least this once I can get away with it. We all wish him well and a long life. It still gets me that even though we rarely if ever see each other we can still have a connection through this blog. I used to be and in some ways still am a very private person. I don’t think I have ever had this type of a relation with anyone I’ve worked with and only a very, very few friends, some of who have passed away. Dennis is one of those people. His voice is needed and very much appreciated.
Thank You.
Anne Laurie
@Mary G: Thank you, Mary G, for going the extra mile.
Thank you, HBM, for accepting the offer of help!
Jamie
The good ones do not get attention.
seaboogie
@Mary G: This blog simply defies description. I turned a pet rescue customer on to it today, but in the end I gave her a recap on Tunch, and said “just check it out for a few days, and read the commentary – this is one blog where you definitely want to do that, and you will know if these are your peeps or not”. Amazing community that you have created here, John Cole. For a curmudgeon, you do good work. Forgot to warn her about eemom though. Mea culpa.
Amir Khalid
@Mary G:
Bless you for saving Higgs Boson’s Mate. Remind hm we all hope to seeing him back here commenting.
Betty Cracker
@Mary G: You’re a good person. Please convey our best wishes to HBM.
WereBear
@Mary G: Thanks so much for letting us know!
Blessings on you both.
sherparick
@Mary G: Thank you for your kindness and compassion.
Thanks John for letting us know about Artie Donovan. My Dad and Uncle, both fervent Baltimoreans all their lives, loved the original Colts, and particularly loved Artie Donovan and loved repeating the stories he told. My sympathy to his family.
AdamK
Cole, the next time somebody wonders if you’re gay, just say something like,”Do people even use wallpaper anymore?” Straight people may not have the time and skills (what with all the kids underfoot, the breeding and whatnot) but sheesh.
IowaOldLady
@Mary G: Bless you, Mary. And bless HBM.
debbie
@Mary G:
Wow, the highs and lows this blog has gone through over the past couple of days. It’s wonderful to read of your kind of “scooping up.”
Back to Donovan, I remember watching Alex Karras on Johnny Carson. He sounds like the same kind of guy: lots of stories to tell with a very dry kind of humor. I especially remember his recounting of the first time he saw Ypremian (?) kick a field goal soccer-style from something like 60 yards away. He and his teammates were laughing, sure the ball would fall far short of the goalpost. He had Carson in stitches.
JD_Rhoades
@Mary G:
Excellent. Thank you for letting us know.
Ben Cisco
Missed the info about HBM. Thanks to Mary G for reaching out, and good thoughts to ya HBM.
Donovan was a hoot – loved those Miller Lite ads he did.
Elizabelle
@Mary G:
You did good, Mary G. Great to hear. Best to Dennis HBM.
NickT
@Mary G:
Honors to your House, lady. You’ve accumulated so much good karma that you can probably retire and live off the interest.
Mate, I am really glad you had the courage to stay in this world. Whenever you wish to return, you will be hugely welcomed.
Josie
@Mary G: This is good news. Thanks for acting and for letting us know. Please tell HBM how much the community values him. You are both very special people.
mellowjohn
@debbie: iirc, it was tom dempsey kicking. karras said something like, “i lined up wa-a-a-y outside so i could get a good look.”
the best thing about donovan and karras (and bob euker, too) is that then could tell the funniest damn stories w/o cracking a smile.
John Dugan
As a result of this thread I’ve just ordered Callahan’s Johnny U… making me sentimental about my old man’s great clutch moment, at a Toys R’ Us in 1970. I am, of course, the only person in the world who commemorates it. We’d stood in line for about 40 minutes to have the long–forgotten book signed, and we were third in line, when his handler announced, “I’m sorry, folks, but Johnny’s got somewhere to go.” My dad – 6’2” and rangy, reached around the other two people, grabbed the top book off the pile, and in one motion, deftly flicking to the blank first page, swooped the book around and said ”Hey, Johnny, one more?” And Unitas, who was actually a step past us, turned and signed it. Thing is, Unitas was huge for my dad, and here it was, the one moment when he actually interacted with the man himself, and he just pulled off – my imperfect dad – the slickest last minute TD pass this 10 year old boy had ever seen
FridayNext
I have to add one small quasi-dissent to the Artie Donovan love-fest. I grew up in Baltimore and loved the Colts in the late 60’s and 70’s. I idolized all those old names and loved seeing Donovan on television and listen to him on the radio. Even though I was college aged, I cried when the Colts left town. It was devastating. Later in the 80’s, fresh out of college I got a low level job with a business that Donovan owned or part owned, I forget the details. As charming as he was on TV and radio, or even books, I never read Fatso, he was a raging asshole in person. He treated staff every bit as poorly as McDonald’s, Wal-Mart, or Amazon is regularly as vilified in these parts for doing. He would think nothing of walking into a busy deli during lunch rush, calling an order taker names (sometimes racist names, though never as I recall the “n” word. Calling grown black men “boy” was popular) and demanding being waited on though there were dozens of people ahead of him. Sexual harassment of female employees was a given including inappropriate touching in front of customers and staff. As good as he might have been on the field, he was that bad or worse in person.
My point is, this person everyone loves, this awe-shucks, charming blue collar persona was, at best, just one side of this man. At worst it was a character he consciously brought out to make money and win love from anonymous Colts fans and keep himself invited back to Letterman.
I apologize for speaking ill of the recently departed, but I just couldn’t take it any longer. There needed to be SOME push back. And though my opinion is largely drowned out by the waves of love from people who never actually met him, I felt it needed to be a part of the discussion, albeit a small part.
gogol's wife
@Mary G:
Thank you so much! I’ve been so upset about this.
handsmile
@Mary G:
[Away for an offline weekend, and only this morning am I learning about what transpired here over the past few days. Head still spinning over HBM’s crisis last night and the compassionate response of this community.]
What an extraordinary act of kindness! Truly and utterly magnificent! You bring hope to many by what you did.
Please pass on my own greetings and hopeful wishes to HBM, as I’m among the chorus here who looks forward to reading soon again his wry commentary.
Mark Reed
Artie you were the best! Rest in peace colts man…
lojasmo
@Mary G:
That is fucking stellar! Thank you SO much.
Comrade Mary
OMG. I’ve been away for a bit, but OMG.
Thank you mary, and HBM (Dennis?)< I hope you find the time and space to re-connect.
It's the smallest things that matter sometimes: I have two tenuously connected friends, and I found out what seems to be a minor thing about one that will help the other, and one of these friends has something to help me. Connections connections connections — they're vital. We all have something to share, and DAMN it feels good when you can lean on and be leaned on.