This probably bugs me a lot more than it should, but here’s how the Times reported the Weiner scandal online:
Buzzfeed, which did no original reporting, gets a link, but not the Dirty, which originally reported the story. That’s because the majestic Times cannot lower itself to create a hyperlink to a site that peddles that kind of filth. I wonder if the editors had to wear gloves when editing that paragraph to shield their delicate hands from the loathsome task. They were so scarred by the very thought of sending dick shots to an attractive younger woman that they wasted no time in creating this preachy editorial, which makes it sound like Weiner’s amateur hour, boring and completely non-penetrative sexting was some kind of deep breach of the public trust.
The point of journalism is to inform the reader. Laugh at the Daily News all you want, but after I read their story, which looks like it was edited by a carnival barker snorting Adderall, I at least know what Weiner did, in detail. This infographic is juvenile, funny and informative. If the Times’ editors would just remove the giant stick from their collective ass, maybe they could have a little fun with this story, as the News editors clearly did. Weiner is an idiot but he didn’t do anything illegal, his wife has forgiven him, and the question we ought to be asking is if he’s capable of being a working mayor or whether he’ll just be a show pony the way he was in the House.
Villago Delenda Est
The “majestic Times” gave us the abortions of journamalism Whitewater, the Wen Ho Lee case, and cheerleading of the deserting coward illegal war of aggression in Iraq.
Not to mention MOU, Ross Cardinal Douchehat, and David fucking Brooks.
“All The News That Fits.”
aimai
I think the Times editorial is more like what happens when your grandparents are visiting and know that you are up to no good and they shout “Knock it off” because its common gossip, at that point, and you (and they) all know what you are supposed to be stopping doing.
In other words the Times probably feels like its such common knowledge, and so gross, that the issue isn’t what happened, its that the grown ups need to shut this shit down.
I’m not excusing them. I’m just saying that in this instance its more like “if you have to read this shit, go elsewhere, we are just dealing with the fallout.”
maximiliano furtive, formerly known as dr. bloor
Dental dams stretched across the keyboards.
BTW, we can all play!
Jell-OH Schott
And Cokie Roberts was on my tee vee this morning telling me how icky this all is. My God, these geezers have no clue.
Betty Cracker
Question for those who think this is no big deal: Do you really think it’s okay for a dude to send unsolicited pictures of his dong to women who have not indicated an interest in receiving such a photo and with whom he hasn’t engaged in a flirtatious relationship? That’s what I can’t get past.
I personally find the seemingly compulsive sexting creepy and sleazy for a married man, but that’s his wife’s problem, not mine. But at least one woman says Wiener sent dick pix to her out of the blue and that she was appalled and surprised by it, that it was non-consensual. Yes, it’s only a picture, but that crosses a line. Do you disbelieve this woman, or do you really think that’s okay?
mistermix
@Betty Cracker: I think that’s wrong, if it was intentional. I thought the context of that one was “oops, I meant to send this to one of the half-dozen other women I was sexting with”. If you look at Weiner’s history, he seems more perv (consensual sexter) than creep (sender of unsolicited pix).
AdamK
“If the Times’ editors would just remove the giant stick from their collective asses…” Pluralizing “ass” ruins the joke. One giant stick goes up one collective ass. That’s why it’s “collective.”
Villago Delenda Est
BTW, do follow the Daily News link. Sure, it’s the Daily News, but at least it’s informative. The broomstick up the ass crowd at the Times can’t bear to give you information on what this jackass did. Weiner has demonstrated, conclusively, that he’s unfit for public office, because he can’t stop himself from doing this online. He learned nothing from the entire “dick pic” scandal that drove him from the House of Representatives…well, more accurately, Nancy Smash brought the gavel down on him for his mendacity.
Now apparently he thinks if he doesn’t deny this activity, he’s OK to be a candidate for mayor, and his wife supports him! The stupid, it’s military grade, and it BURNS!
Patricia Kayden
Off topic, but something much cuter from BuzzFeed:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/summeranne/dog-finds-a-tiny-kitten-risks-everything-to-save-her
aimai
@mistermix: Whats the evidence that it was always consensual? The woman who complained originally–and got hung out to dry–was not consensual. Also there’s a reason they call it “creep” which is that someone like that usually starts out testing the boundaries by sending innoccuous but slightly over the line stuff (jokes, innuendo, etc..) and works his way up to the dirty pictures or the outright requests. You might find yourself accepting a joking relationship with someone like Weiner and then getting the pictures without having given him any kind of (in your eyes) permission.
mistermix
@AdamK: You’re right, fixed. I trying to write something about how the Sulzbergers implanted that stick when the editor was promoted, but that got too complicated.
Paul in KY
@Villago Delenda Est: ‘All the News that Fits Our Agenda’ would be truthier.
aimai
@Jell-OH Schott: It is icky, even a blind cokie roberts can find a dead squirrel by the smell.
Given the Bob Filner situation on the West Coast I would be very cautious about declaring someone’s private sex life off limits when its at least five degrees off from private and seems to demand publicity and engagement with (in this case women) who are near strangers. The best that you can say for Weiner is that he harrasses at a distance and spends more time than you’d want anyone working for you to spend trying to think up new ways to use his dick. At the very least he needs more time than he apparently has to spend time with his own penis making him not a good candidate for any kind of difficult or labor intensive job (aside from public masturbation).
As to whether that pathetic woman has “forgiven him” well? Who cares? The people he’s betraying aren’t in his own family, necessarily, but all the people who he may end up sexting and his constituents who have a right to a scandal free representative.
Paul in KY
@AdamK: I think the problem there was he used ‘editors’ in the sentence. That makes it plural (IMO).
Baud
I don’t care about consensual sexual behavior, but politicians that lack self-control worry me.
SFAW
No, the question is: after getting caught with his pants down – both figuratively and literally – and humiliating his wife by virtue of his inability to behave like something other than a pre-adolescent horndog (who also places burning bags of dogshit on neighbors’ front porches), and he CONTINUED to do the same shit over and over – do New Yorkers REALLY want to have Doug Feith’s replacement as their Mayor?
If he had any class or smarts, he’d either commit seppuku, or move to McMurdo Station for about ten years. Fucking idiot.
ETA: And I used to like the guy, before he got a severe case of the stupids.
SFAW
@aimai:
Awesome.
mistermix
@aimai:
She’s pathetic because she chose to work on her relationship and keep her family together? Really?
aimai
@mistermix:
Yes, I think she’s pathetic. Once, sure. Twice, sure. But she’s married to a run away train, a guy who cares more about remaining in the public eye and being a politician than he can manage. If I were married to a surgeon with a major addiction I’d forgive him all he wants but I wouldn’t stand by and “yes, dear” him while he fought to stay in the operating room.
SFAW
@mistermix:
Don’t want to speak for aimai, but: no, it’s because he humiliated her once, did his very public mea culpa, then kept doing it again and again. Someone who allows herself to be repeatedly humiliated by the person who allegedly loves her above all, has issues of her own. Even if there were kids involved (i.e. theirs), her lack of self-respect is breathtaking. Unless she grooves on being humiliated, she should have filed about a year ago.
aimai
Let me also say that I’m married. Everyone has to “work on their marriage” and the heart hath its reasons whereof reason knows not of. If they were in an open marriage and this was all consensual I’d think nothing of it. But its pretty obvious that this was not in their original marriage model. As far as I can see she’s the one doing all the accomodating and he is merely forcing her to bear the fallout. ” Not love, quoth she, but vanity, sets love a task like that.”
Maus
I’m fine with that. TheDirty is a shitrag and the sooner it goes under (yeah, right) the better.
Scott S.
I agree that he’s not fit for public office. A big chunk of the job description for a politician should be “Is able to not humiliate himself and others, and thus distract from doing the people’s business.” It’s the same reason that John Edwards was justifiably hounded from public life, and why Gingrich, Vitter, and Sanford should have been hounded from public life. Texting peenpix to anyone, consensually or nonconsensually, is stupid because they get exposed (heh) all the damn time.
Is the NYT run by a bunch of bluenose prudes? Well, of course. Should Weiner quit politics and move to the forest and never touch a cell phone with camera and texting functions again? Well, of course.
Violet
@Betty Cracker: I don’t know the story well enough. If it he sent it to the wrong woman, so it was accidental, then it’s less of an issue than if he’s randomly sending out unsolicited dick pictures.
Maus
@SFAW: Victim blaming is just AWESOME. People with kids try harder to fix something that’s often unfixable. Doomed to fail? Perhaps. But “pathetic”, ungh. Way classy.
MomSense
@Betty Cracker:
Their marriage is their business and that is a separate matter. I do find it disgusting that he was sending unsolicited dick pix.
oldster
I am pretty surprised at the people who minimize what Weiner has done. I think it is deeply creepy, predatory, behavior, beyond untrustworthy and into crazy territory. His inability to stop himself is also evidence of severe derangement. This isn’t just self-destructive behavior; he is also taking down his wife’s career, and the stability of his child’s upbringing.
This has all gone beyond a minor indiscretion. This guy is sick.
Rosalita
Show Pony or Show Horse… sorry can’t resist a dick joke
Gin & Tonic
@Violet: I’m a straight guy and don’t know enough women well enough to ask them this question to their face, but is getting a low-res photo of a guy’s dick, whether solicited or not, really all that arousing, or even interesting?
aimai
@Maus: Well, is she a victim? In what sense? Do you know this expression “Once or twice you are a victim, after that you are a volunteer.” She’s not a “victim”–unless his actions hurt her. If she’s a victim because his actions hurt her she’s got a remedy and its a perfectly respectable one: she can divorce or separate. If she doesn’t want to divorce or separate then how is she a victim? She’s just a person in a less than perfect marriage who doesn’t like her alternatives. No biggie.
I guess what (some of us) are reacting against is the notion that because she ostensibly and publicly “Forgives him” that its not business of the public and we are not entitled to have an opinion. Fuck that. He is demanding to be made not just a public person but given the public trust in an important job. He’s proven over and over again that he doesn’t have the ability to “delay gratification” by five seconds. He’s like some kind of polymorphously perverse toddler. That and public service are a bad mix. He and his wife seem to think that he’s entitled to keep begging for public votes while showing that he can’t even manage to keep his word to his wife in a private matter. That’s dispositive, to me. Regardless of her motivations in giving him public absolution.
aimai
@Gin & Tonic: Hell, even seeing them in person isn’t necessarily arousing.
Citizen_X
That’s replacing All the news that fits on the Times byline, right?
Skerry
@Gin & Tonic: no
schrodinger's cat
@Gin & Tonic: No, not at all and what aimai said.
Linda Featheringill
@Gin & Tonic:
No.
SatanicPanic
@Gin & Tonic: I don’t know either, but I have to assume the supply of dick pix senders is greater than the demand. Which says something about a dude who is sending them out thinking his are going to be something special.
schrodinger's cat
Is Jon Stewart back? His skewering of Weiner the last time around was epic.
Violet
So all this happened after he supposedly underwent treatment? I think Huma should demand a refund from the treatment facility.
@aimai: Those of us not in the marriage can’t really know what goes on inside it. Maybe they have some kind of open marriage agreement but they don’t want to let that little tidbit become public. I agree with you that she seems to be doing all the accommodating, but we can’t know that for absolute certain.
I certainly wouldn’t want to be in a marriage like that, but I guess she has to make her own decisions.
Mary Jane Leach
What everyone is missing, is that he had this press conference on National Hot Dog Day!
SFAW
@Maus:
Please spare me the bullshit outrage.
It wasn’t her fault when he did it the first time. It wasn’t her fault when he did it the second and third and Nth times. But at some point, she can either say “Yeah, this being publicly humiliated – repeatedly – by my ‘loving’ husband is the best thing since sex was invented,” or she can say “Enough is enough!”
If she were some low-skill, dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks trophy wife, who would be unable to survive without “her Hunk O’ Man” deigning to pay her expenses, I could cut her a little more slack. But she’s reasonably accomplished in her own right, and has (I assume) enough friends (e.g. Clintons) that she could get a decent job via her connections.
But you’d rather pull the “blaming the vic” bullshit, than risk saying that MAYBE staying with that Serial Humiliator shows a disturbing lack of self-respect. Got it.
At what point does Charlie Brown stop being a victim, and start becoming complicit in Lucy’s humiliation of him?
ETA: Just to be clear: the “trophy wife” comment was supposed to be about a wife’s (perceived) inability to be able to survive on her own.
Violet
@Gin & Tonic: No not at all. An HD photo wouldn’t be either. I guess in the context of sexting back and forth with someone, it might add something exciting to it, I don’t know. I’d think you’d have to know the person you were sexting with fairly well to know if it would turn them on.
Apparently women aren’t as turned on by images as by words. That’s why a lot of p0rn for women is in romance novels, not videos.
cmorenc
@Villago Delenda Est:
The true motto of the NYT is “All the News that Gives You Fits in Print”
piratedan
imho it calls into question his judgement, namely if this gentleman cannot determine which members of the fairer sex aren’t interested in seeing his “Peter Parker”, then what other travesties await? Not condoning him being a horndog but if you’re gonna play, you best damn well know who you can play with….and so far, Weiner really seems to be attracted to women who don’t share the same sense of attraction, much less discretion for his adolescent dick displays.
Lolis
@oldster:
I’m with you on this. His inability to stop shows he has a big problem.
Gin & Tonic
@SFAW: I dunno, maybe she’s done the calculations and has worked out that her probabilty of getting to some higher goal is greater by his side than swimming on her own. She seems smart, and she’s friends with smart-seeming people, so maybe she’s taken the game-theoretic analysis and said to herself “he’s a real asshole, but I’ll tolerate it so I can get to what I really want.” What that is, I don’t know.
mistermix
@aimai: There’s a child involved, too. Does that count? I just can’t see her as a victim, but rather someone who’s choosing to stay with the guy for a number of reasons, one of which could be shared ambition.
BTW, I don’t really want to be in the position of being Weiner’s defender, because he is, as I said in the post, an idiot and a show pony. But New York City tends to have asshole mayors, and as far as we know (and man, do we know, read some of the stories) he wasn’t doing any of the things that really embroil a politician (harrassing staffers, hiring prostitutes, etc.) The unsolicited dick pic that kicked this whole thing off was a covered bulge, btw, just to keep some perspective, and the bulk of his history shows mutually consensual perving.
another Mildred
Actually, Anthony Weiner’s behavior pattern (infraction, cover up, apology, wash rinse, repeat) is typical of serial cheaters and adulterers–whether physical affairs, emotional affairs, or both. As the (former) partner of someone who engaged in on-line sleaze, searching for partners while ostensibly committed to a parter is a personal betrayal of the most painful magnitude unimaginable. Someone who is capable of lying in this way–to his wife, and probably to himself, is not someone I would trust in public office (despite my general cynicism about trust and public office.)
The point is, this behavior is not poke, poke, giggle, giggle funny. It’s utterly devastating to learn that the person you’ve trusted most has betrayed your intimate loyalty. And it really is all about narcissism and character. It’s a really bad sign, and to minimize it by saying, “well his wife has forgiven him” really clouds the complexity of it, and does a disservice to voters (and to betrayed partners).
Paul in KY
@schrodinger’s cat: Let’s let the new guy have his shot. Every TV comedy show host has to pass the ‘Anthony Weiner just made another Boner’ hurdle (a right of passage in that job) & Mr. Oliver now will have his shot (I’m sure he’s probably already had been working on material. He knew it would be coming sooner or later).
quannlace
The only good thing about the Weiner story is that it took some attention away from all the incessant Royal Baby blather.
Belafon
He didn’t do anything illegal, but this is something that can, and should, be used in your judgement of him as a potential mayor. It really does seem to point to a lack of self control.
Gin & Tonic
@Violet: Thanks for confirming my suspicions. My not-very-wide-ranging experiences with human female sexual response led me to think that this behavior was dumb and probably counter-productive, but I don’t know what the kids are up to these days. Seems to me that his sexual maturity is about that of a 12-year-old.
MomSense
@oldster:
Yeah I’m with you on this. I think it is creepy and predatory but then I didn’t think the Clinton Lewinsky thing was about a blow job so I’m in the minority. In that case as well it was about workplace behavior with a powerful (the most powerful person in the country!) engaged in predatory behavior with a subordinate.
SFAW
@Gin & Tonic:
Certainly open for debate. But I would think at some point those (hypothetical) calculations will fail, because any number of persons will ask why she allows herself to be serially humiliated.
I don’t mind leaders/politicians/whatever having some humility, but allowing yourself to be a doormat goes a little beyond that.
@mistermix:
Some. But certainly not as much as it did 40 or 50 years ago, when most moms were still stay-at-home-but-not-by-choice.
Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.)
@Betty Cracker:
I’m a guy, and this is just creepy and weird to me, too. I can understand the guys, like Clinton, who can’t keep their dicks in their pants. And, as long as whoever they’re fooling with consents, I really don’t seem why I should care much. But this kind if thing, to me at least, belies some kind of other problem here. I don’t know what it is, but it seems like there’s something wrong with him psychologically. I know I wouldn’t want him representing me.
Villago Delenda Est
@quannlace:
It was the lead story on the CBS evening news last night.
Didn’t we fight a fucking revolution over two centuries ago to move beyond this shit?
rb
I think it’s a little strange to judge either the recipients of his egregious texts or his wife for how they deal with his selfish behavior.
That some of his texting partners were (hopefully) consensual from the get-go does not excuse his blatant stupidity and what sure as heck looks to me like harassing behavior with at least some of them. In a similar vein, that his wife has made the calculated decision that she’d rather stay married might be ‘pathetic’ if she was doing so out of deference to the Village/NYC distaste for divorce. That she’s doing it despite Cokie’s handwringing (along with her, from all appearances, not doing what she’s doing under duress) signals that she makes her own decisions, which reads as strength to me.
This is a lot like Bill Clinton or Gary Hart or, especially egregiously, John Edwards. It’s not for me to judge what they do and don’t do in the private space, and even less is it for me to pronounce on the appropriateness of their partners’ response. They are human and the range of normal, non-pathetic human behavior is vast.
What IS utterly reprehensible is, firstly, the abuse of power this behavior (and not their partners’) represents – to whatever degree that is applicable – and, secondly but also importantly, the lack of good judgement they (not their partners) show in endangering the causes with which they are associated.
“Inappropriate” conduct among consenting adults: totally cool, not my business. Abuse of others: extremely uncool, very much my business. Screwing things up for the team: less of an issue, but still considerably uncool, still something that ticks me off.
PurpleGirl
How do you send a text to someone by mistake, i.e., is it like misdialing a phone number?
(I have a very simple cell phone which I hardly ever use.)
I’d already decided not to vote for Weiner because of his reputation as a grandstander who really didn’t do much when in Congress. That he has demons of some sort which he has not learned to control does bother me. (I like what Aimai and Scott S wrote above.)
What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?
I have a hard time seeing how NYC, one of the greatest cities in the world, is going to settle for Mayor Wienerpic. If it had been a one-time incident and he’d gotten it under control, maybe. The fact that he can’t get it under control would be a real problem for me if I were a NYC voter. I mean, I really don’t want to see my Mayor’s junk on the internet on a regular basis.
Jell-OH Schott
@aimai: I am wondering, do you think Hillary Clinton is pathetic?
Kay (not the front-pager)
I am sooo bored of both Anthony Wiener and the royal baby.
Patrick
Is there really any difference between the Dirty and the coverage that the NYT provided in the run up to the Iraq war?
Villago Delenda Est
@MomSense:
The problem with the Clinton analogy is that by all accounts it was consensual. Monica was perfectly fine with the affair. The problem was, the Big Dog ultimately treated her as a fling, and she didn’t like that much. Duh, Monica. The guy is first, a politician, and second, a politician, and third, a politician. He’s not going to dump his wife for you, no matter how zaftig you are.
Weiner, on the other hand, sent his dick pixs to women who were not expecting them. They were non-consenting.
Now, it seems that SOMEONE in these two cases learned a valuable lesson. That person was NOT Anthony Weiner. The first lesson, one that perhaps millions have failed to grok, is that one does NOT send photos of intimate body parts over the ‘tubes unless one wants to drive hit counts through the roof at places like The Dirty, Gawker, TMZ, or other sites that exist to get high hit counts with naughty celebrity photos and gossip.
Once you put a photo on the tubes, it’s best to assume that your 80 year old surfing grandmother will eventually see the photo, and there WILL be consequences.
SFAW
@PurpleGirl:
Well, normally I’d say it might have been a butt-call, but, given the circumstances, that might be looking at it from the wrong angle/side.
ruemara
@Betty Cracker: This is also my feelings about Wiener. There was no mistake, he just sent it. That was the prior scandal not this new non-scandal. All this scandal tells me about Anthony is that he’s lacking in any self-control and judgement. Why would I want that in the Mayor’s seat?
rb
@What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?: I have a hard time seeing how NYC, one of the greatest cities in the world, is going to settle for Mayor Wienerpic.
Eh, Giuliani / Bernie Kerik say otherwise. If a Brooklyn version of Chris Christie suddenly materialized, I’d agree with you, but with the existing field I’d say Wiener’s still the favorite. Being a brash, inconsiderate asshole who ‘knows/takes what he wants’ is by no means a complete negative with respect to electoral prospects in the city.
Belafon
@PurpleGirl: If you don’t have the numbers saved on your phone, like, if you are trying not to have anyone else find out, then yes, it’s exactly like misdialing a phone number.
Chyron HR
@ruemara:
Tradition?
@Kay (not the front-pager):
Woah, woah, I don’t care if he has a nickname for it, but I don’t want to hear about it.
aimai
@Gin & Tonic: Sure, why not? But that doesn’t mean that she gets some kind of compassion/martyr points in which her “absolution” stands in for ours. To me this is absolutely the opposite of the issue that arose between the Clinton’s marriage and the public trust even though, superficially, the situations seem the same.
The right wing went apeshit that Hillary Clinton didn’t dump Bill because they acted like Bill was in a marriage with the public and she needed to vindicate the public’s right to monogamy with their husband in chief. I respected her very much for, basically, keeping her private life private and allowing him to get on with the job of presidenting without having to fight a two front war.
Here the situation is different. Weiner’s wife is willingly throwing herself in front of the cameras in order to convince us that he’s a good person despite his serial unfaithfulness and his apparent inability to focus on his job or his marriage to the exclusion of his sexual needs. She is asking us to recommit to a relationship with him as representative because, she’s saying, “if I will why shouldn’t you?” Well, the answer lies in the question–she’s willing to accept his word for his actions but other people aren’t. Its not wrong, its not an invasion of their privacy. She’s demanding (and mistermix too in a way) that we join in their little folie a famille. We have a choice. A voter’s choice. A viewer’s choice to a public scandal that he, himsef, made public.
waratah
@mistermix: I had to wait until this morning to have some one link to a story with the details of the Daily News, thank you very much.
I love your commonsense view in this story and bringing it down to reality if that makes sense.
the Conster
I kinda think the die was cast for his compulsion when he was born with the name Weiner.
aimai
@Jell-OH Schott:
I’m reading up so I didn’t see you asked me the question directly. No, I thought Hillary Clinton was a mature woman in a mature relationship who choose to privilige politics and the good of the country above any desire for a personal vendetta over monogamy. I think Huma Abedin is putting her husband’s desire for continued power and publicity above any needs the country or the party could have, and over her own child’s need for privacy. She is either doing that because she thinks that he’s the only man in the world for her or because she imagines that his career is vital to the good of the world which, patently, its not. To me thats the definition of pathetic. Weiner isn’t the president. He is not surrounded by right wing hounds baying for his death over a consensual sexual relationship. There is no reason for him to keep standing for office except pure selfishness and an illusion of importance. I absolutely think she should have kicked him to the curb the first time, or at the very least told him that the public trust is not a toy that he gets to play with because he can’t be satisfied with anything less.
I don’t get why people are so fixated on making sure that little Anthony Weiner gets to stand for office uncriticized. Is the public trust such a small thing that just because a guy’s ego is so huge he thinks he deserves power we all have to agree and we all have to facilitate it?
ChrisNYC
I’m enjoying the collective freak out by men on this. Joe Scar was practically teary eyed this morning talking about how awesome it was that Huma was “defiant” and “standing by her man.” Ooh when men were men and women were adjuncts.
MomSense
@Villago Delenda Est:
With Clinton it was in the workplace with a power and age dynamic at play. Given Lewinsky’s experience in high school with a teacher who apparently had serial affairs with students, I’m not so sure that it was as consensual as portrayed. I still think the power difference had a lot to do with that mess.
Violet
@ruemara:
I’ve seen this sort of comment multiple times in this thread and others. I have an actual question. Does his lack of self-control and judgement with regard to sexting and contacting women online mean he’s lacking self-control and judgement in all areas of his life? Is it possible that he lacks control in this area but has pretty good judgement and self-control in areas that would actually affect his constituents? Is that sort of thing possible?
rb
@Villago Delenda Est: The problem with the Clinton analogy is that by all accounts it was consensual. Monica was perfectly fine with the affair.
I’m with you to a point. IMO It’s possible for the younger and less experienced party to be 100% consenting and eyes-open, and for the relationship to still represent a problematic failure of judgment on the part of the more experienced party. In the Clinton case the massive power and age imbalance made it so. Not the greatest crime in the history of the world, but not nothing, either.
maximiliano furtive, formerly known as dr. bloor
@Violet:
Entirely possible, probably not unusual. The question for voters is, knowing that he’s completely lacking in judgment and self-control in that area, how willing are you to bet that it’s the only area affected?
The Tim Channel
Weiner quotes “scripture” in his defense: “He who is without a big boner, let him cast the first stone.” Big Book of Bubba, Neuteronomy 11:1
rb
@aimai: She is asking us to recommit to a relationship with him as representative because, she’s saying, “if I will why shouldn’t you?”
That is a harsh accusation. Not trying to say it’s reasonable or unreasonable. If you see it this way I can see why you’d be repulsed.
I don’t get why people are so fixated on making sure that little Anthony Weiner gets to stand for office uncriticized. Is the public trust such a small thing that just because a guy’s ego is so huge he thinks he deserves power we all have to agree and we all have to facilitate it?
Obviously not. But that’s a separate issue from the way one characterizes his wife.
Violet
@aimai:
That does not seem to be happening. He’s being criticized all over the place.
rb
@Violet: Is it possible that he lacks control in this area but has pretty good judgement and self-control in areas that would actually affect his constituents?
Yes. It’s reasonable to wonder, however, if it is probable or likely, especially as this is the second time around.
Also, sad to say, I think it’s reasonable for a voter to consider whether they want to spend the entire Mayoral term worrying or hearing about Weiner’s wang. I get that the (consensual) sex aspect isn’t anybody’s business, but it’s not like you can just opt out of hearing about it, unfortunately.
Riley's Enabler
Unsolicited dick pics: UGH. No. The rate of this was somewhat surprising when online in various forums and my nym gave me away as female. Even more surprising was the “hurt” when the sender/s was/were told in firm terms that it was unwelcome and also laughable. THEY WERE OFFENDED THAT I WAS OFFENDED.
Eeeeesh. I don’t have to vote for Weiner, but if I did I think his lack of self-control and narcissistic tendencies (wanna see my photos, little girl? Of course you do!) would sway me to the “NO” column.
Thoughtcrime
Disrespectful, disloyal, dishonest, creepy, narcissistic, and lacking in self-control and judgement.
Weiner’s the complete package!
ruemara
@Chyron HR: Hardly. As a native New Yorker, we’ve managed to have some actual people with savvy more often than not. Weiner needs to stand down until he gets his head on straight.
The Tim Channel
@rb: If you’re gonna include a list of creepy political sexual miscreants would it be too much to ask for you to toss in an Appalachia Trail reference or Newt Gingrich remark somewhere? Enjoy.
Elizabelle
@aimai:
Aimai beat me to it. The Bob Filner ongoing disaster in San Diego is instructive.
As much as the Weiner – Abedins want to act like this is a private “mistake”, what about NYC taxpayers if Weiner cannot get his compulsions under control, and the city gets sued for harassment down the road?
That’s not an unlikely scenario.
(PS: haven’t had a chance to read the thread; just searched for “Filner”.)
kerFuFFler
The fact that he was presenting himself in interviews as a new person, no longer indulging in sexting, a year after his resignation when in fact he WAS still pulling this shit makes him unfit for office. I don’t want anyone who is so selfish that they would expose their wife to ridicule yet again by running for office when he KNEW that fresh allegations of this sort would surface.
That and he is stupid…..
SFAW
@Thoughtcrime:
One less tool and he’d be a five-tool player.
(There’s probably a “Moneyball(s)” joke to be made, but I can’t think of it, yet.)
Yatsuno
I think there’s a subtlety being missed here. Huma is a Muslim, and while Islam does allow divorce, it is not encouraged. She may be standing by him because in her faith it is the right thing to do. The rest is overanalysis.
muddy
http://jezebel.com/lena-dunham-drops-the-hammer-on-weinergate-886992494
The 2nd and 3rd tweets in the article are very much on point.
I think the same notion applies to Clinton/Lewinsky. Although consensual, not exactly mutual.
Epicurus
To quote the Bard: “If she and I are happy, what’s it to you?” ‘Nuff said. The NYT Editorial Board is taking lessons from the WSJ; I choose to ignore their moralizing, and live my life. Has no one seen that this little item was probably planted by a Quinn supporter? Please…let’s move on, shall we?
aimai
@Yatsuno: Yeah, no. Islam includes divorce and divorce isn’t even necessarily discouraged. Keeping an islamic home and being treated well by your spouse can also figure into whether the home is sufficiently islamic/muslim. And sure, she may have her reasons (millions of them) but, again, we are all responding merely to the observation that because she “Forgives” him the voters should ignore his behavior.
MomSense
@muddy:
I agree with Lena!
muddy
@MomSense: Now that it’s too late to edit, I think the 4th one is the biggie.
Fred Fnord
@aimai: Well, I’m sure glad we have you around to act as Arbiter of the Public Morals. It leaves people like me free not to give a shit about this, content in the knowledge that there is at least one person out there who will happily pass judgement on women for their personal relationship decisions for them.
Besides the Republicans, I mean.
Fred Fnord
@aimai: Well, I’m sure glad we have you around to act as Arbiter of the Public Morals. It leaves people like me free not to give a damn about this, content in the knowledge that there is at least one person out there who will happily pass judgement on women for their personal relationship decisions.
Besides the Republicans, I mean.
aimai
@Gin & Tonic: Well, its not about pleasing the other person at all. Its obviously his own private sexuality that is at issue, for him, and he’s just using the phone and the imagined other person for sexual gratification. Its just a long distance form of masturbation.
patrick II
@Betty Cracker:
I am with you on this. Most consensual sex is ok and should be private, but Weiner seems to have a compulsion to do something he already knows has harmed his career and family and offended others, perhaps criminally, but yet felt compelled do it again. That is irrational, self-destructive behavior, and I would not vote for this guy.
aimai
@Fred Fnord: Are you imagining that you are not passing judgement because you choose to support (or imagine you are supporting) a perfect stranger’s publicity stunt? We are both busybodies, of course. I have one standard for “appeals to my emotions that I will accept from upper class, wealthy, women with power and status interests to protect” and you have another. No need to get all huffy about it.
gravie
Having had a family member who “stood by her man” through a whole lot worse than Weiner’s immature, self-destructive and narcissistic antics — and for a much longer time — I’ve witnessed the fact that these dynamics are incredibly complicated. Personally, I’d be inclined to give him the Jenny Sanford treatment, and Huma Abedin may eventually do that. I have no idea about her motives for staying with him and absorbing this kind of humiliation over and over but to me, this isn’t really about her. I just think he’s addicted to both politics and sex. And a flaming ass.
MomSense
@muddy:
Exactly!
Jennifer
Eh. Haven’t really read the whole thread. I agree that no one should send unsolicited dick pix to anyone else, but I guess I didn’t recall anyone claiming he did from the original scandal – just women stepping forward to verify that they too had been involved in “sexting” with him.
But even IRT unsolicited dick pix, unless you’re a tender young virgin, the harm is limited to offense of your sensibilities. Once upon a time when I was a lithe young thing, some guy crept down the alley and was watching me sun myself – while stroking it. I pretended not to see him, went in the house, and called the cops. He of course had finished long before they arrived, and calling them got me nothing more than a suggestion that perhaps I shouldn’t sun myself in my own fucking back yard. So when aforementioned perv showed up again a couple of weeks later, I again pretended not to see him while walking into the garage, grabbing a garden rake, then running full-tilt towards him with it raised while yelling. Never have figured out how he got his pants up quick enough to run away before I removed his junk with the rake, but it was effective because he never showed up again. It was his physical proximity that was alarming – the sad display of what passed for his manhood could only be classed as pathetic. Which is how I would look at a dick pic, unsolicited or not (and when has one ever been solicited by a female? My guess would be never.) Gross, lacking in all manners, creepy? Perhaps – but not criminal. It’s up to the politician to avoid easily avoidable errors in order to not turn off the people he needs to vote for him. Clearly Wiener has created problems for himself in this regard with his past, and perhaps continuing, actions. Beyond that, I don’t really give a shit as to how his wife handles it or anything else.
I’m pretty sure most elected officials, like every other male in the US over the age of 18, have looked at internet porn while rubbing one out. Phone sex, sexting, etc would all seem to be fairly harmless as long as all parties involved are above the age of consent. Would be nice if we could get to a point where these types of things elicited yawns instead of media feeding frenzies, and simply let the public decide whether they have an issue with it or not in the voting booth.
LanceThruster
This guy seems to know what’s important.
Ted & Hellen
@Jennifer:
My god, that’s reasonable.
David Koch
What I find interesting is how the blogosphere deserted him when he returned.
They absolutely adored him and didn’t want him to resign even after he had lied to them. They actually cried when he stepped down.
So then he returned, but to empty blog support.
That’s the dynamic I think should be looked at.