Just put Boss down for the night, and by that I mean I gave him a treat and then shut the door so he can not get out and do the unpleasant thing Tom’s do, but before I sat and pet him and was sitting cross-legged on the floor holding him while he kneaded my belly. Let me tell you, being kneaded by a polydactyl is like being felt up by a drunk Wolverine. Not that I would know, but I have a vivid imagination.
At any rate, I looked down at Boss going to town on my big gut, and I broke out into laughter because this is all I could think of:
That’s Koko and one of her kittens– I think it may be All Ball, who was killed by a car and Koko was depressed for a long time. I remember watching a documentary where Koko signed sad and frown for weeks when All Ball was killed.
The story of Koko is one of my favorite things in the world, btw, although I am jealous because I think she has nicer hands.
Aren’t you happy you don’t have the stuff that runs through my head to deal with all day? You wonder how I hurt myself mopping. It’s because Allah knows what is rattling through my over-sized noggin’ at any point in the day.
Comrade Mary
‘Night, John-Boy. ‘Night, Boss.
I’m glad you two found each other.
Poopyman
We didn’t name our Maine Coon Spike for nuthin’ ya know.
PsiFighter37
I’m so draaaaaaaaaank
PF37 +6
Redshirt
Koko is such a sweetheart. She painted too! I wonder if we raised all gorillas in human settings, would they all be people?
Redshirt
@PsiFighter37: You should change your name to PsiFighter+17
Tithonia
John Cole you are a good man.
Rich C.
Jesus, Cole, you gave me such an emotional roller coaster ride, I delurked.
[added the comma lest anyone think I was calling Cole, Jesus.]
Corner Stone
Speaking of absent friends:
The Drone That Killed My Grandson
“The missile killed him, his teenage cousin and at least five other civilians on Oct. 14, 2011, while the boys were eating dinner at an open-air restaurant in southern Yemen.”
If we have any shred of humanity here, or decency at all, this should pain us as much as losing one of our own loved ones.
Violet
How are the girls doing with Boss in the house? And can we have a picture of the girls? Miss seeing them.
Emerald
Koko is one of my favorite people, especially because of her love of cats. I remember All Ball very well. I’m pretty sure I cried over that too.
And, how are the girls doing? They surely know about their new, um, brother. And surely Boss knows they’re there too. Can’t wait to see how the formal introductions go!
And thanks for helping little Snowbell. Of course I should have known you would. Keep us posted on her!
Redshirt
@Corner Stone: LOL! Your compassion is an inspiration to us all. :)
Cassidy
@Corner Stone: Considering your rampant bigotry and misogyny, I think you’re the wrong person to be preaching to anyone. It’s kind of sad how you lash out when you’re drinking and sink down to Sandusky & Ramirez’s tactic of just flinging shit until someone pays attention to you. God you’re pathetic. Won’t be me, though. I’m going to bed and you should go sleep it off.
Redshirt
I also assume Cole’s hands are similar to Koko’s.
Punchy
If you hands are oversized, and now we learn your head is oversized….well…how do you not have a happy girlfriend?
chopper
@Cassidy:
manic depression is a frustrating mess.
Corner Stone
@Cassidy: Man. I think this speaks a little more to your altered state of mind than it does mine.
Take a few aspirin and chug some water before you crash on the couch.
Corner Stone
@chopper: I agree. I hope Cassidy will one day get the help he desperately needs for his PTSD. Before he hurts someone in real civilian life.
Corner Stone
@Redshirt: What is in there that is to be laughed about?
Cassidy
@chopper: It is, but I think he’s just a bitter drunk. He needs attention. I’ve got no sympathy. If he needs attention that bad he should watch some porn and them sleep it off.
marindenver
I have a shelter cat who is also part Maine Coon. She has the biggest paws I have ever seen on a cat. The sad result is that they make her very clumsy when she jumps up to the window sill, table, etc. Also kind of funny. (Whenever she crashes she looks around with an “I meant that, you know” look.) She is also extremely affectionate. But not overly bright. I think you have found a great cat in Boss and I very much look forward to seeing pics of him and reading the stories.
Marion
Just Some Fuckhead
You get like this every year after hockey ends and before football starts.
chopper
@Corner Stone:
swing, and a miss.
Corner Stone
@Cassidy: I’m not even sure what Sandusky & Ramirez tactic even means? Is that some kind of latter day Starsky & Hutch reference?
WTF are you even babbling about? Projection, much?
JCT
Boss is probably trying to make sense of this. First dumped and somehow ends up in kitty heaven after all.
Corner Stone
@chopper: No, you’re right. He’ll probably never get the help he needs. I just hope he doesn’t hurt anyone else.
Comrade Dread
Meh, I’ve got my own stuff to deal with. Feeling weird about my hands isn’t it, but thanks to my fundamentalist Baptist education, every time I start to feel genuinely happy, I start to obsess that s*** is going to go seriously wrong because I don’t deserve happiness.
Also, I’m pretty sure that every time I go camping, I’m going to get mauled by a bear.
And though I’m not yet 40, I have a fear of early random death leaving my wife a widow and my kids orphans.
And don’t even talk to me about the random fears involving raising kids and worrying that I’m going to screw them up or make a mistake and end up having them die on me. Or seemingly random diseases taking them.
And no matter how many bonuses and good reviews I get at work, I worry constantly about being fired and ending up homeless and penniless.
And I shouldn’t leave out the fear in the back of my mind (also due to Baptist education) that I’m probably going to burn in hell for all eternity for being a liberal heretic.
So no, mate. I’m not unhappy that I don’t have your obsessions, because I’m too busy talking to my therapist about my own. :)
marindenver
Wow, I haven’t commented here in a while. Didn’t realize a harmless little thread like this could get filled up with moronic trolls in such a short time. Over, like, nuthin, that I can see that John sed. Can’t you guys hang out at TBogg’s where he’s at least openly trolling you? Or maybe just need BETTER TROLLZ!!
Redshirt
@Corner Stone: Your transparency, of course. :)
Corner Stone
@Redshirt: :-O
chopper
@Corner Stone:
jesus, I’m going to have to draw you a diagram, aren’t I.
Corner Stone
@chopper: No, unfortunately every day the news carries the tale of sad endings for stories like Cassidy’s. Self-loathing, unfathomable disappointment in their lot in life and ultimately, violent endings. Sadly, it’s not a very revealing or new story when dealing with these types.
Narcissus
the level of bitch in this thread is just insane
chopper
@Corner Stone:
you sound like the fat friendless 8th grader vainly pretending that everyone is really making fun of the kid sitting next to him.
Corner Stone
@chopper: Wow. This didn’t tell us very much about you.
red dog
@Poopyman: We also had a Maine Coon we called Spike that came from the pound. We had open space behind us and assume he tried to outrun a coyote once to often. He was totally reckless and unafraid and allowed us to be his people.
chopper
@Corner Stone:
well yes, i admit I used to make fun of chubby friendless nerds when I was in junior high.
NotMax
Jeez Louise, this thread needs a musical accopaniment.
Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that’s all there is, my friends
Then let’s keep dancing
Let’s break out the booze
And have
A ball
If that’s all
There
Is
Classic Peggy Lee and an equally poignant (if a bit more chanteuse-y) Bette Midler cover.
YellowJournalism
Before he sacrificed his child’s happiness for a WalMart gig, I would have seen no problem there…
Oh, you meant the claws.
handy
@chopper:
Do you still beat up old ladies, too?
karen marie
As the slave to a super-polydactyl, I recommend a pair of nail clippers used once a month. Our Gracie’s nails on her front feet point in odd directions and are more curved than those of non-polydactyls. She catches on things a lot less when I keep them clipped. I just do the front feet regularly, the back feet maybe twice a year if they start looking longish. I have a pair similar to this that have worked quite well for us.
jnfr
Your Boss doesn’t have quite as big a ruff around his neck as our Jamey did, but he has the same tuffs of fur between his digits. Our Jamey wasn’t polydactyl, either.
But we lost him last July a year ago, and I have to tell you that I was a hot mess all this week between the Tunch tragedy and the Trayvon decision and it just felt like the world was going to hell.
I’m slowly coming back to kindness and sanity though. Sleeping mostly through the night, and the upset dreams are fading. May you sleep well too, John and all.
Jay
Dear Jeebus. Didn’t Koko accidentally kill one of the kittens?
chopper
@handy:
why, you need a favor?
PsiFighter37
@Redshirt: I don’t think I’ve ever made it to that level. Certainly not planning on trying to.
Also, too, is there a good reason why certain people don’t get banned? I feel like there are a select few commentating (I’m sure you jolly few know exactly who the fuck you are) who prefer to shit in everyone’s cereal bowl instead of being contributory members towards the general blog community.
I guess maybe that’s more a tribute to John’s patience than mine. But it’s still unfathomable, given there are repeated asshole offenders who have no shame in being assholes and douchebags.
nineone
I blame Obama. Ha!
max
@Emerald: And thanks for helping little Snowbell. Of course I should have known you would. Keep us posted on her!
Wait? Huh? What did I miss?
max
[‘Confused.’]
NotMax
@max
Everyone chipped in; we bought Detroit and are renaming it Coletopia.
Yatsuno
@NotMax: To be fair, it was on sale.
handy
@NotMax:
“I’ve run this shitty blog for 12 years, and all I got was Detroit.”
Dead Ernest
@PsiFighter37:
Actually, I’ve come to like him quite a bit.
Oh, unless you meant the other one.
Ruckus
@PsiFighter37:
It would be one thing if they just had no shame. It’s quite another that they work so damn hard to be successful in their effort to be douchebags.
Yatsuno
@Ruckus: Durf has no shame. But he also thinks he’s smarter than everyone else on the blog. That and living in the US eight years means he knows more about US politics than those of us that already live here.
Emerald
@max: Last night I asked about Snowbell. John responded that he was going to see if he could get a lady he knows to take her–he’d pay the shelter fee and her vet bills. The lady already has three cats, so we’ll see what happens.
If that doesn’t work, I’m hoping MARC will rescue her.
Suzanne
I need some cat advice from the commentariat. Since getting over drinking paint, my Zellie has been almost pathologically annoying. She’s lonely, so I try to pet her, but she climbs on us all the time with sharp claws out, and she does the love bites constantly. Damn cat climbs on my head, FFS. How to make her less neurotic?
gelfling545
@Suzanne: It will take time. She’s trying to assure herself that you won’t take her to the BIG BAD VET anymore. My cats have either stopped interacting with me entirely for days or been incredibly clingy for days after a vet trip for more that the annual shots. No middle ground.
Ivan Ivanovich Renko
@Redshirt: They and our furry kids ARE people. They’re just not “human.”
InternetDragons
@Suzanne –
You might want to check into Feliway products (they don’t work for every cat, but when they do work, they seem to work well) or Rescue Remedy to help take the edge off all that anxious behavior.
There are also cat treats that are specifically made to be soothing, but I have not tried these on my guys. I forget the name, but you can google them or find them on amazon.com pretty easily.
Mnemosyne
@Suzanne:
Feliway helped with our cats. I also had an herbal version at one point (smelled kind of like cinnamon) that was specifically for anxiety and helped a lot when we had two full-grown cats and two kittens crammed into our small apartment.
Other than that, I would just say to get back to your normal routine as much as possible and let that help soothe her. Cats love their routines and rituals.
Cris (without an H)
@Jay: I think you’re remembering a Steinbeck story.
schrodinger's cat
Koko and her bebbeh kitteh, so sweet!
T. Scheisskopf
I love this saga. Better’n TV. Much better and far more intelligent to boot.
I, myself, had his life literally saved by a vosMaeri Eclectus female named BooBoo. Dragged me out of Major Clinical Depression by my heels.
Pets can do that. They have magic.
The Other Chuck
@Jay:
Not that I know of. I think it was some other famous primate, a chimpanzee raised by a bunch of researchers, but the name completely escapes me. I always had mixed feelings about Koko: while she certainly gave many people a new and better perspective on humanity and our relatives, it’s also clear her trainer was anything but a scientist, and in fact was manipulative, publicity-seeking, and anything but objective. It’s obvious to us now that gorillas and chimps are able to learn sign language, but the depth and complexity of Koko’s purported vocabulary was clearly a product of Penny Patterson’s very prodigious imagination at best and rank dishonesty at worst.