Late Night Open Thread

I was so done crying until my best friend Walt called from an island in South Carolina, and I just broke down again. How does one person produce this much snot? I went through a whole god damned roll of paper towels already. Thank FSM for the girls, who know something is very, very wrong, and Rosie, the JRT empath, has not left me alone all night, FSM bless her:


Lily is just too damned stupid to notice, not to mention she loves me at an 11 every day on a scale of one to ten, but Rosie knows something ain’t right. I guess there was a reason I found her beside the road and she jumped into the car.

I already miss him so much.

Fare thee well, my only true one. I love you more than words can tell. I will roll, roll, roll. I can’t believe you are gone and I let you down like this. Rest in peace, my fat little buddy.

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141 replies
  1. 1
    YellowJournalism says:

    Just checking on ya. Good to know Rosie is on the case.

  2. 2
    Larime the Gimp says:

    You didn’t let him down, John. That way lies nothing good.

  3. 3
    BubbaDave says:

    What Larime said. He’s dead, and it’s heartbreaking, and it is not your fault. Full stop.

  4. 4
    Suzanne says:

    It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault.

  5. 5
    Weasel says:

    In no way did you let him down. Stop that! Please think of all the ways he brought you, and all of us, up. Thank you for sharing your special love of Tunch with the world. He will never be forgotten.

  6. 6
    sparky says:

    What would you do, Johnny-boy?

    Your friends will be there standing for you. Standing behind you; standing with you. Straight ahead, brother.

  7. 7
    JustSomeChick says:

    Agree with all. Totally NOT your fault. Sounds like you did everything you could to prevent anything like this from happening.

  8. 8
    Royston Vasey says:

    Very touching, John
    Tear in my eye.

    Your pain is felt around the world thanks to your wonderful blog.
    And all your readers are sympathetic to it all.

    Hope you can get some sleep.

    RV in NZ

  9. 9
    Laertes says:

    You gave him a good life and a lot of love. Don’t beat yourself up about the ending. You did damn good by your friend, and he was as lucky to have you as you were to have him. He’d tell you so if he could.

  10. 10
    JustSomeChick says:

    My heart is just breaking for you, but look at the love in that picture! And to think you considered re-homing Rosie once upon a time. Looks like she trained you just in time to avoid that mistake. Dog fur is an excellent snot/tears absorbent. Lot of folks don’t know that, but it’s true.

  11. 11
    CaseyL says:

    Post all you can, grieve as much as you need. Even though none of us are there with you physically, we’re all with you in heart and spirit.

    The Seattle BJ Meet-up drank many toasts to Tunch tonight, and to General Stuck. We mourn with you.

    Love you, John. Take care.

  12. 12
    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn says:

    John, I can’t begin to say I feel your loss the way you do, but knowing that fuzzy, fat bastard isn’t around to lord his Infinite Feline Superiority over you has cast a pall on my night in a very visceral way. Mrs. Pantload was also shocked and saddened to hear the news, but she is of the stoic Nordic tradition — hence, me and my Irish let-it-all-out ways have had her asking me all night if I’m OK.

    Bless Rosie & Lily 20 different ways from Sunday. They are a testament to your love and devotion, just as was — and ever shall be — Tunch. Nature happens, and nature has teeth and fangs and there’s fuck all we can do about that.

    Be kind to yourself, accept R & L’s love as genuinely earned, and don’t ever feel the need to apologize for posting about Tunch or about your pain over his loss.

    And for FSM’s sake, if you don’t have a box of Kleenex in the house, blow your nose in toilet paper, not paper towel. I was using the paper towel for my sniffles earlier this evening, and that shit will skin your nose if you use it enough.

  13. 13
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    Pull your head out John, you didn’t let Tunch down because you had no idea that this would happen this way. Don’t beat yourself up over this, bad things lie that way. Remember the good times, you have plenty to remember.

    You’re a good man John, and Tunch was a damned good cat. Remember that.

  14. 14
    Anne Laurie says:

    Consider this possibility: Somewhere, the Fat White Bastid is watching your snot-filled wretchedness, and the choral misery of all us pixel-village strangers, and saying to himself —

    It’s no less than I deserve!

  15. 15
  16. 16
    moderateindy says:

    Cole from another song:
    With the passage of time comes the fading of pain
    But the true nature of loss still remains
    Well that loss starts to gnaw when I look up and see
    An empty space in my life where you oughta be.

    And from the Dead tune just prior to BP…………If I knew the way I would take you home..
    But nobody knows the way back home after these things, because “that home” no longer exists. So continue crying, and remember something can only hurt this bad, because of the joy it produced on the other end. If only words could help, They can’t; but having your dogs around truly does help, so I suppose if there is any solace that can be had it will be with them.

  17. 17
    amk says:

    That fat cat had his best years with you, Cole. He will always remember that.

  18. 18
    Mnemosyne (iPad Mini) says:

    Don’t be surprised if Rosie and Lily mourn Tunch a little, too. It almost broke our hearts the night Natasha died and Boris started searching for her all over the apartment.

    They won’t understand that he’s dead, but they’ll know he’s not in the house, and they will be sad about it.

  19. 19
  20. 20
    JustSomeChick says:

    @Sarah, Proud and Tall: I can totally see that. I expect he is finds the rending of garments on display utterly banal and sniffs “And . . . That’s all you’ve got?”

  21. 21
    Brian says:

    I’m so sorry, John. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.

  22. 22
    Mike E says:

    They know. A few years ago, my daughter had all 4 of her impacted wisdom teeth jackhammered out at the same time, and when we brought her home she just collapsed into bed. She was a mess. 10 minutes later, I walked in to check on her and all the animals were laying in bed with her. The beagle, who enjoys running the color point cat into the doorjamb every chance she can; dumbass aforementioned cat who thinks he’s a dog, I don’t know, maybe he enjoys getting hammered like this; and, the original pet, a Maine coon mix who hated the dog and other cat with the heat of 1,000 suns. There they all were, in bed with my hurtin’ little girl, sitting vigil like they understood that she needed their help to feel better, and all the territory shit just didn’t matter to them. Makes me tear up just thinking about it.

    They are such a pain in the ass sometimes, but they have the capacity to surprise you in so many ways.

  23. 23
    Alexandra says:

    Baking hot Sunday morning in London, so I’m a little late to this tremendously sad news that’s happened overnight, John. I’m terribly sorry.


  24. 24
    sparky says:

    Whoa, fuck-nuts, I just saw this

    “and I let you down like this”

    and this can’t stand. Shit happens and there is no one to blame. Fuck you, Cole, you were a warrior once and saw shit the rest of us can never imagine. Shit goes bad, and no one can control the outcome, not even god or FSM.

    You had Tunch’s back forever, but forever is actually a fleeting moment in time. Fat boy holds no grudges; fat boy knew the game. Hell, you made him into such a celebrity that even I got teary-eyed reading about the fucker today.

    The only thing you’re responsible for is giving the fucker a good home and loving him til death did you part, and you carried your part of the bargain from beginning to end.

    The Tunch is dead. Long live the Tunch.

  25. 25
    fourlegsgood says:

    I just heard about Tunch – I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Poor little sweetie. I’ll say to you what my vet said to me when I lost Lion Kitty Maxx – you are a special pet parent, mourn him and never forget him, but please do open your heart and home to another kitty.

    I hope that Tunch will come to see you from the afterlife, and I know he knows he was loved. RIP Tunch, Maxx is coming to take you on the comet.

  26. 26
    bago says:


  27. 27
    fourlegsgood says:

    Also, do NOT blow your nose on paper towels you goof ball. No tissue? toilet paper.

  28. 28
    Lurker says:


    You did not let Tunch down. What happened was a horrible accident. You gave Tunch a loving home and he loved you in return.

    I cried when I saw that Tunch had passed away. He was a big part of the BJ community.

    Grieve all you need. I know what it’s like to lose a beloved pet. It hurts like hell.

  29. 29
    Low Country Boil says:

    John, I’m a longtime lurker. I just read about your terrible loss, and I’m absolutely heartbroken for you. Tunch was a fine beast, and you gave him a great home and generous love that any cat would be lucky to have. In no way did you let Tunch down, and don’t let yourself think that you did. Thanks to you, he had a great life.

  30. 30
    Gemina13 says:

    John, you didn’t let Tunch down. You were there for him each moment of every day. What happened wasn’t your fault, or anyone’s – it was a fucking awful mess, and that’s all there is to it.

    Tunch loved you – loves you still, and I believe it with my whole heart. I don’t know what happens when we die; I don’t believe any of us, animals or humans, sit on fluffy clouds or burn in lakes of fire. But if consciousness can live on after we die, I firmly believe a part of Tunch will be with you until your end.

    And some day you are going to see a kitten or cat that meets your eyes and climbs into your heart at the same time. You’ll know when it happens, and it will be the right time to happen.

    Much love to you, and many tears for you and Tunch.

  31. 31
    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn says:

    @Mnemosyne (iPad Mini): “They won’t understand that he’s dead, but they’ll know he’s not in the house, and they will be sad about it.”

    My late little girl, Lucretia, came to me by way of a friend who’d housed her and a litter brother of hers. My friend told me of how the brother, still quite young, suddenly took ill and passed — and of how, after they buried Lucretia’s brother in the back yard, Lucretia would go to that spot and just be there.

    They know, even if it takes time to sink in. They can’t vocalize it or blog about it, but they know.

  32. 32
    Emerald says:

    Ah, sweet Rosie. Yes, animals do know. I never cried too often, but the few times I did, my original cat Winston would immediately climb onto my lap and rub and purr. Yet he wasn’t much of a lap cat.

    He understood that I was hurting, and he tried to help.

    The animals know. Rosie absolutely is comforting you.

    And of course you didn’t let Tunch down! You tried to protect him! But that’s a normal reaction to something like this. We feel guilty because we fantasize that there was something we might have done to stop it. You are not to blame. At all.

  33. 33
    Villago Delenda Est says:


    My thought exactly. Paper towels are frankly too coarse for the human nose and rest of the face. Heck, I wouldn’t dream of using anything but tissue on a cat or dog’s face…assuming they let me in the first place.

  34. 34
    Debbie(aussie) says:

    Bear hugs John from this stranger down under who feels your pain and so wants to help, [[[[{{{{Debs}}}}]]]]

  35. 35
    SG says:

    John, you didn’t let him down. You gave him a full, happy life filled with love, tuna, head and back rubs and security. Sometimes bad shit happens, even when we try so hard to make sure it doesn’t happen to the ones we love. Tunch had 12 years of love and pampering. That’s a great thing. I think Rosie knows her human is a good guy who’s there for her and Lily, and she’s there for you. Tunch is hovering and watching, I’m sure.

  36. 36
    kurt w says:

    john – you were the best pet owner a cat could ask for. when it comes to quality, tunch lived a life worth that of multiple cats. you were lucky to have each other for over a decade. i hope you find peace. i can’t believe how much grief and loss i feel myself about it. i loved that fatty and i hadn’t even met him. life is hard.

  37. 37
    opie_jeanne says:

    John, be kind to yourself and don’t accept blame for this thing that was not your fault, not in any way your fault.

    And now I’m crying again.

    Take the time you need for grieving because it will help, even though it makes you wretched now.

  38. 38
    The Sailor says:

    Animals do know. They get it. And they are comforting you while you are comforting them.

  39. 39
    The Tim Channel says:

    Sorry to hear of your loss. Our beloved Lizzy dog is approaching twenty. Still extremely agile and active but the congestive heart failure is impossible to ignore. I just hope Lizzy outlives my wife (who is on palliative cancer care). If Lizzy goes first it’ll be tough on both of us for sure but I think it might push my wife over the edge.

  40. 40
    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn says:

    @The Tim Channel: Blessings to you and your beloved spouse and family member. May Love be your anchor in the storm as the wind in your sails.

  41. 41
    Evelyn says:

    I miss my Gobert so much, and tonight just brought it all home again. I’ve been crying off and on all night, and had to cancel my plans and stay home. I’m so sorry, John, so sorry. Bless sweet sweet Rosie. You are a great man, and Tunch was lucky to have so much love and affection. I’m going to try to make you something this week, and hope it makes you feel better.

  42. 42
    Marsala says:

    I’m finally delurking to say that I’m so sorry about Tunch. I cried my eyes out when my first cat, Maggie, passed away. Tunch was truly beloved by this community, and I know that you gave him the very best life.

  43. 43
    eemom says:

    fer fuxsake, do I have to cry AGAIN?

    You did NOT let him down…..and something that scared the crap out of me, was the sick hostility towards the dog on some of the earlier threads. Animals are animals. They can be beloved pets, but they are still animals.

    Nobody did ANYTHING wrong — it was a tragic accident. Horrible, and painful as shit to deal with…..but blame is not an issue. No blame.

  44. 44
    The Tim Channel says:

    My wife’s terminal cancer has me thinking about all kinds of weird crap. I probably shouldn’t be thinking about such stuff given my wife’s delicate condition these days, but she’s certainly not averse to such thoughts as she is already busy trying to “pretty me” up so I can find a good “next” wife (she assumes I’ll remarry five minutes after her funeral).

    In reality, I find myself wondering what kind of dog I will get when mine are gone more than what kind of woman I want to spend my golden years with. I figure I got maybe one more good dog lifetime left in me, making the choice of my next dog the last. Like you, I’ve always taken in whatever stray seemed to be most receptive to me when replacing a loved lost pet. I’m not breed specific as I’ve owned great dogs of many different varieties. I probably shouldn’t even be thinking about such minutia under the circumstances. At the end of the day it’s been my experience that finding a good cat is dam near as impossible as finding a bad dog.


  45. 45
    Death Panel Truck says:

    I am truly sorry for your loss, John. Twenty-two years ago I lost a gray tabby named Tommy to an auto vs. cat. It hurt for a long time. Tommy was a great cat. Take solace in the fact that Tunch loved you. You know he did.

  46. 46
    The Tim Channel says:

    @opie_jeanne: Is this “my” opie_jeanne? Enjoy.

  47. 47
    Stephen says:

    Dammit mate, sorry. It’s winter over in this part of the world, so my boys won’t come out from under the doona til the heat’s on. They been getting a lot of extra scritches and pats today. Got them via a local animal rescue association when they were kittens, as their mother was hit by a golf cart. So sorry. I came to this blog via Firedoglake, back when the bomb-throwers of the left comment was made, and kept reading. Left FD alone, apart from TBogg. Comfort and consolation to you.

  48. 48
    SixStringFanatic says:

    I almost never comment but I’m so addicted to this blog that I check it several times a day, even at work. I got this unfathomably horrible news about an hour or so into my 10 hour work day but I held it together because there’s no way I could explain this to the folks I work with. Finally got home, petted my two fuzzy boys and then lost it. I bawled my fucking eyes out and I’m a 45 year old man, for chrissakes, and I’ll never even meet you. You’re a good soul with great big goddamn heart, sir.
    Let me add my voice to the NOT YOUR FAULT chorus because it sure as hell isn’t. Peace to you, brother. So, so very sorry for your loss.

  49. 49
    becca says:

    My heart just broke. Tunch is gone.

    Words fail, but tears do not. Sending some serious love from Memphis…

  50. 50
    Comrade Nimrod Humperdink says:

    Unreal. I just logged on and saw what happened today. John I’m sorry for your loss. My wife and I have two cats that are the closest thing we have to children (some issues in that respect), and to lose your best buddy in the world, in the way that it happened, that’s just awful, and as others have noted, nothing good can come from blaming yourself for it. We all loved that cat and saw how much you loved him. He was your biggest draw for a reason. You take care of yourself and your girls. I’m going to go give my wife a hug. You have a whole community of people here for you man.

  51. 51
    Mary G says:

    @The Tim Channel: You are going through a lot; hang in there.

    JC, let me add my voice to the chorus of “not your fault,” and also, too, toilet paper, not paper towels.

  52. 52
    billgerat says:

    Presently I have 3 dogs and 2 cats, and one of the cats, Cinder, is somewhat like Tunch was. He snuggles up with me all the time, and when I go to sleep at night, he sits by my head with his face in mine, and when I open my eyes when I feel his whiskers, he licks me with his sandpaper tongue – quite unsettling! When he was a small kitten, I thought I burned him to death behind my gas stove, and that’s how he got his name. I’m really a dog person, but that cat is something special, so I can empathize with you losing Tunch.

    Through the years I’ve had other dogs and cats, and they are all buried underneath The Tree (a 50′ + pine tree in my back yard). Claire, an American Eskimo who was the sweetest and smartest dog I ever had, is buried there too; her grave is the only one which has a cross marking the spot. She’s been gone 6 years now, and I still miss the hell out of her. My other pets when they pass shall join her and the others. When I die, I want my ashes spread among them, so I can be with them again for eternity. While were here on this earth, we love those who love us, whether person or beast, and continue to love them after they are gone, and love those too that come after them. Know that you gave Tunch all the love that you had, and know that you’re still giving that love to the two dogs that remain with you. When the time is right, go to your local shelter and find another kitten that you can give that love to also. You will never find another cat to replace Tunch, but certainly you can find another cat that deserves that same love in its own special way. Each animal may be different, but the love you give it is always the same – your love.

    Hang in there, and keep the memories close to your heart.

  53. 53
    Ruckus says:

    @The Tim Channel:
    I don’t think we control these kinds of thoughts any more than John can the ones thinking he is responsible.
    Your wife doesn’t want you to be alone. Now that is selflessness, to worry about how you’ll do. A very admirable quality that.

  54. 54
    MikeInSewickley says:

    I knew the girls would come to your aid. They know things aren’t right and you need them.

    As we’ve been saying, it was “not your fault” which may eventually help you cope with the loss. But no one expects you to get over this quickly. Tunch – we miss you already and we’ll remember you…

  55. 55
    Lurker says:

    Darn! I’m crying again. I have a Tunch mug at home (the one that says “The revolution will be supervised”) and I just looked at his lovely face.

    I never met the little rascal and I’ll probably never meet you, John, but rest assured that all your fans are grieving Tunch and sharing your pain.

    Don’t apologize for your sorrow. You just lost a much loved and much loving friend. Take your time to grieve. May Tunch rest in peace and may you find peace.

  56. 56
    greenergood says:

    When I lost my beloved 18-yr-old late-nite contact-calling (howling) furball, I was astonished at how upset I was. I’d never been owned by a cat before, and the gap he’d left with his passing was so deep. I’m glad your girls are there to help you, and though it’s no consolation right now, just remember, Tunchie along with my former furry overlord and lots of others, are purring on the FSM’s voluminous lap, having gained access to tuna 24/7.

  57. 57
    donnah says:

    After I read the terrible news, I posted over at TBoggs place. He has basset hounds, and when Satchmo died unexpectedly, we bloggers felt his pain of loss, too.

    John, you know by this outpouring of love and support that so many of us care about you and the people and pets in your life. Take comfort and solace in that. Don’t blame yourself for anything because blame doesn’t serve any purpose.

    It’s kind of strange that we bloggers connect at the intense level that we do, but it’s a pretty great thing. We share both the good and the bad.

    Hang in there. Everything will be raw for a while. But we’re all here for you.


  58. 58
    WereBear says:

    The loss is all the greater for having happened suddenly, in such a shocking way, but of course you did not let him down, or cause it, and you would have moved heaven and earth to prevent it.

    He was a great cat. A great soul.

    You have my greatest sympathy.

  59. 59
    jenn says:

    Glad to hear Rosie’s taking care of you! But please please PLEASE don’t be blaming yourself for this. Its awful and it sucks and it’s NOT your fault.

  60. 60
    lawguy says:

    You have my deepest sympathies. I have lost a pet in very similar circumstances and know how terrible the hurt can can be.

  61. 61
    jenn says:

    @The Tim Channel: Best wishes to you and your wife, and Lizzy too!

  62. 62
    gelfling545 says:

    When I last lost a loved companion my vet comforted me by saying that animals do not know how long life should be, only if that life is good or not.

    If there can be comfort for you remember that, for Tunch, every day his life was good and it was because of you. You never, ever let him down. You were lucky to have each other and I hope time will make the memory a joy. Thank you for letting us share in the time you had together.

  63. 63
    cmm says:

    John, I saw the terrible news on the first Tunch thread but didn’t get to leave a comment there as I was on my way to work. Yesterday was a truly shitty day: I went to a funeral for a fellow officer who died way too young and suddenly (but not in the line of duty, but still heartbreaking), then the Zimmerman verdict, then your terrible news. I feel like I have been crying for 24 hours straight.

    You said in another thread that you thanked us for trying to cheer you up. Silly man. We know that that is an impossible thing. All we can do is let you know that we know that you are hurting, and that through you we got to love your big fat imperious kitty so much that random strangers all over the internet are crying with you. What a good job you did of sharing him with us, and getting his Tunch-ness across to us all so that we too are keenly feeling his loss, though at the same time appreciating that none of us can touch what you are going through. All we can do is offer virtual shoulders to cry on and hope it helps a little.

    And yes, hug your pups and cry on them (I too am amazed at how many tears dog fur can absorb) and please don’t beat yourself up. You took over-the-top excellent care of that spoiled cat for many years, and you yourself said how you would hunt him down when he would get out. I think he had a good long life, and certainly longer than it would have been if only Tunch had been watching out for Tunch.

    I wish I could give you a hug in person but we have to settle for words in this medium.

  64. 64
    Alex S. says:

    I still remember the last time I saw my parents’ dog, the dog of my childhood. I had come to visit them and when I was about to leave I knew that this was the last time I’d see her alive. She was old and very tired and even though I knew that it was the last time I didn’t “really” say goodbye, if you know what I mean. I just stroked her and left the usual way thinking that she will die soon on the way back home. I still regret sometimes that I didn’t do more, but in the end, you can’t change it. It’s the way things are. If there is one reason evolution, or God, or whatever has provided us with a mind, it’s to understand that it does not matter to think about what might have been, but that’s it about what we did. You love and loved your pets all the time they’ve been with you. And isn’t that what counts? And out of all the possible times and places, isn’t it a miracle that you and Tunch found each other? Count the blessings and keep them in a special place in your heart.

  65. 65
    Violet says:

    This is not your fault. Now Rosie comforting you–that is your fault. You did a great thing in saving her and she.knows how lucky she is. So was Tunch and he knew it.

  66. 66
    Vec says:

    Damn you for the GD! I hate this, I’m crying now, over Trayvon, over Tunch, over how I know you feel, cause I felt that way two years ago when my 13 year old cat, Althea had a heart attack and died alone, while I was away.

    Ultimitely, I couldnt stand being alone without the fear of falling over something under my feet. I adopted two cats, Fluffhead and Sunflower (to keep up tradition.) I know you already know this, but you will feel better and you will laugh at your memories of him. You might even adopt another cat. It’ll be okay.

  67. 67
    Lurker says:

    When I lost my beloved Gatsby, I cried my heart out for months. I could not accept that my beautiful, sweet, lovely, cat, was gone for good. Then time did its work and the sense of loss and emptiness disappeared. Six years later, I remember him vividly with all my love. Specifically, I laugh at the little game we played every morning. He was always lying in a corner of the couch and I was always checking my laptop right in front of him. He would push down the screen with his paw, and I would lift it up again, on and on again, all the while I was laughing my head off at his cuteness.

    To say that time is a great healer is a cliche, but, like all cliches, it has a grain of truth.

    You are having a raw time of it now, John, and probably will have for quite some time. At some point, however, you will only remember all the joy and love you had when living with your lovely companion.

    I have been posting too many times on this thread, I guess. But my heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing your funny stories about Tunch’s antics and his many pictures for all these years. We all loved Tunch and we love you.

  68. 68
    Skepticat says:

    You must have done something right to have so many people sitting here with tears running down their faces over a cat they never touched but who touched them. How lucky you were to have had him, and how lucky he was to have had you.

  69. 69
    TaMara (BHF) says:

    You may not be able to absorb it all in the moment, John Cole, but what an amazing amount of love is flowing to you from this crazy community of cyber souls.

    Thinking about it, we’re kind of like Rosie. We jumped in your car when you stopped, we’re unruly and hard to tame, but in the end, when you need us, we’re here for you.

  70. 70
    debbie says:

    What a sad and horrible, horrible thing to have happened. For the several years I’ve been reading this blog, there hasn’t been a single Tunch story that didn’t crack me up. Tunch was a very special cat. What a loss.

  71. 71
    Gloryb says:

    @Sarah, Proud and Tall: Laughing and crying at the same time.

  72. 72
    Elie says:

    John – Sending you a big good morning HUG. Only good memories — only love. No blame, guilt — not right —

  73. 73
    Culture of Truth says:

    I just found out and I’m very upset. Dammit.

  74. 74
    Elie says:

    @TaMara (BHF):

    great observation and comment, TaMara …

  75. 75
    the lost puppy says:

    I haven’t been to this blog in a very long time but for some reason I looked for a song my mother used to sing to me when I was a little girl, had not heard it for years, and I began sobbing uncontrollably and then I came to this blog and read the news about Tunch and I can’t believe it.

    He was part of this blog, part of our lives. I am so very, very sorry, John. I used to hang around here enough to say I loved that cat. There are no words. I continue to sob. What a Sunday morning.

  76. 76
    Lurker says:


    I first thought I was too weird when I started to bawl my eyes out at the news of Tunch’s passing. Evidently, I am not alone. John’s love for Tunch made us, total strangers, love the sweet cat. And we all are grieving both for Tunch and for John’s pain.

  77. 77
    RoonieRoo says:

    I just got on BJ this morning and found out what happened. I am absolutely devastated for you and Tunch. I don’t even know what to say. Grumpy and I send you our love. I wish so much I could do something to help with this grief.

  78. 78
    Joy says:

    Occasional commenter, long-time lurker, and of course, animal lover. Aren’t we all on this blog? I am so sad about Tunch. He was quite the fellow and over the years entertained all of us with his antics. It’s so hard to not feel responsible for a pet’s death, no matter the circumstance, but you gave him a wonderful home, two great sisters, and all the love he could possibly absorb. My thoughts are with you and your girls. RIP Tunch. Take care John.

  79. 79
    gogol's wife says:


    I agree totally with this. With all the cats I’ve lost, I blame myself, always for some different thing I could have done that might have staved off death, so I completely understand John’s feelings. But he gave Tunch a life of paradise. That’s all anyone can do, and much more than most people bother to do.

    I have been so sad all night.

  80. 80
    Fergus Wooster says:

    Speechless. I read this late last night and couldn’t summon adequate words.

    This morning, no different.

    I’m so sorry, John.

  81. 81
    gogol's wife says:

    Oh God, I just saw the picture of the dent in the sofa. Those are the things that get you right in the gut. Cry as much as you want. It’s the only thing that helps.

  82. 82
    Mary in Ohio says:

    Its no good to blame yourself. You don’t seem to blame your sister, and it was her dog, or your brother who brought said dog to your house. Shit happens. Mourn for your beautiful baby but please don’t think this is your fault.

  83. 83
    gogol's wife says:

    @TaMara (BHF):

    So perfect. You are right on the mark.

    My husband writes me a poem every night for me to find in the morning. He says that this morning’s poem is about Tunch. I haven’t read it yet, I’m not sure I can handle it.

  84. 84
    Cermet says:

    So sorry for the terrible loss and the manner on how it occurred (I lost a dog in a similar manner.) I have been very ill the last few days and this is the first I’ve read about the terrible loss. They were twelve great years and you still have the dogs and your other family (many of us no longer have one or the other.) Best wishes.

  85. 85
    Damned at Random says:

    So very sorry about Tunch. He should have shed on your couch for many more years. When you love deeply, you mourn deeply and Tunch was fortunate to have been so well loved for so long.

  86. 86
    the lost puppy says:

    Also, for all the hilarious jokes about his girth, he was such a beautiful cat.

  87. 87
    Wil says:

    Goddamn that sucks. Been reading this blog/site for seven years now, give or take, and part of what brought me here was that cat. Some animals really have an outsized personality, and Tunch was one of those, with that regal bearing that some cats have, but not very many.

  88. 88
    efroh says:

    For everyone telling JC that he shouldn’t feel guilty, take it from someone who’s also lost a companion animal in sudden and violent circumstances, it doesn’t help. What JC is feeling is completely normal and people should just let him work through it. It’s a good thing that people are reaffirming that he’s not guilty (which is, of course, true), but telling him that he shouldn’t feel that way isn’t helpful.

  89. 89
    Lynn Sutherland says:

    My computer was down last night and I came to your site this morning (always my first stop) to the sad and terrible news of Tunch’s death. I am 70 years old and have been through many animal deaths–it gets harder and harder with each one–harder for me than human deaths. You always blame yourself, even if they die of old age. Look at the life you gave Tunch–filled with animals, people, good food (lots of it) forays and adventures in the back yard and so very much love. Maybe if you had confined him to the house, not let him be around other animals, maybe, maybe–but then his wonderful life wouldn’t have been the same and he wouldn’t have been the happy, ornery, irascible cat that he was.
    There really is no consolation for your loss–the pain takes such a long time to ease. But Tunch had such a wonderful life and you gave it to him. I am so very sorry for your loss and your pain–it is such a hard time and honestly, it will not be over soon. I am sending all supportive and loving thoughts to you and Lily and Rosie.

  90. 90
    fraught says:

    So, so sorry, John. This just makes me feel so bad.

  91. 91

    John, Tunch was loved and happy. If only we all could be “let down” like that.

    If Rosie and Lily could talk, they’d go on and on about how good you are to your pets. Trust them.

  92. 92
    JCT says:

    Accidents by nature bring out the “would have, could have” – in the end it just adds to the pain. You’ve given all of your pets (not to mention all of the thousands that you have helped through fund-raising) amazing , happy lives. Tunch didn’t have a bad day with you. So brutal to lose a pal this way, hang in

  93. 93
    Carol M says:

    John, I am so, so sorry. The trauma you’ve experienced is unimaginable and that, along with the grief, must be overwhelming. I hope the wonderful commenters and friends on this blog provide some comfort, there are so many terrific people here. Please listen to them before you blame yourself; you have provided such a wonderful, loving home for Tunch and Rosie and Lily, you are the best father any animal could ask for.

    I’ve been a long-time reader but I de-lurked for the first time this past January when we put our cat of 19 years down. It felt a little better to share what I was feeling with this community of animal lovers. Even now my husband and I miss her so much but it got a little easier as time passed. I hope you can recover as well.

  94. 94
    Chickamin Slam says:

    @efroh: Yes but we like John Cole and his pets … we want him to feel better. We liked seeing the photos he posted of Tunch.

    The old “Buck up buttercup … go out there on a spending spree” may sound like a nice bit of advice too but pets have this way of working themselves into your life. My mother thought she’d see her cat in the shadows lurking like they’ve been known to do for awhile after passing.

    It’s not like “I crashed my Geo Metro into a tree …” or “I did not win that contest” and I can just buy another … car … ticket.

    For now we grieve for Tunch … another time the joy of a cat that waltzes into Cole’s life maybe in the next month … and the tears for Tunch will be replaced by the antics of a new, younger cat with something to prove … and an owner who smiles at them …

  95. 95
    anon paranoid says:

    My deepest condolences on the passing of your beloved Tunch. My you find solace in your grief and strength from your family and friends.

  96. 96
    JCT says:

    Accidents by nature bring out the “would have, could have” – in the end it just adds to the pain. Tunch didn’t have a bad day with you. So brutal to lose a pal this way, hang in there, John – love your girls.

    You’ve given all of your pets (not to mention all of the thousands that you have helped through fund-raising) amazing , happy lives. And many of us have adopted pets because of this blog. I had finally decided not to get any animals while living alone and several folks here talked me into it finally. Two more cats who had languished at a rescue place for 6 months got to come home with me. There are tons of stories like that and while your pain is raw, there still a lot of good around and Tunch the beast played a role.

  97. 97
    Barbara says:

    @Laertes: Yes, to this 100 times. That you are beating yourself up so hard is just another testament that Tunch could not have had a better life. And your little canine buddies — I still remember a long ago day sitting in my bed weeping over my worthless BF when my puppy began crying and licking my face. Our animal friends make life so much better, how difficult and shocking this must be, I am so truly sorry for you.

  98. 98
    Tokyo ex-pat says:

    I am so sorry. I saw the news and was stunned. I read through I don’t know how many comments before my iPad cut out because it couldn’t load them all. I couldn’t leave a comment then, but I will now. This place is such a community and I am awed by the good will and sympathy pouring towards you. You’ve done something special here and Tunch and the girls were a part of it. As Tamara said above, you made a home for us here in cyberspace. We all feel the loss of a family member and like Rosie we feel your pain.

    My aunt often said if she died she wanted to come back as a dog or cat in my mom’s house where she’d be treated like royalty. I think many of us here would say the same thing about being a pet in your home because it’s clear you don’t spare the love or the comfort for your furry friends.

    Thank you and Tunch for touching my life even as far as a continent and an ocean away.

  99. 99
    JustPeachyAndYou says:

    John, my deepest sympathies on your loss. Like so many, I came for the politics but stayed for the cat (and dogs, and pet blegs, and community, and…). It totally, truly sucks to lose a beloved cat. We’re a multi-cat household, and death is inevitable but never expected, never right, and it never, ever, ever gets any easier. I’ve never met you or Tunch in meat space, but your generosity and love for your fat, sassy Tunch always shone through, even in mid-grumble. I donated to MARC in memory of Tunch, and I’d hug you if I could, but words will have to suffice. Grieve as much as you need to.

  100. 100
    Moe Gamble says:

    I’m going to miss Tunch. I’m sad, and so sorry for you.

  101. 101
    Barbara says:

    @The Tim Channel: Oh my. Sending all of you best wishes for comfort and peace in what must be an incredibly difficult time in your journey through life.

  102. 102
    cleek says:

    OMG JC, that’s terrible news. so sorry to hear it.

  103. 103
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    I just posted in one thread, and wanted to post in another. I am so sorry for you, John. Stuff sucks, but you made sure Tunch’s life really didn’t suck. It’s going to take time for that to feel right — it’s a year since we lost a cat and it’s only now that I can focus on the time before he got sick — but it will happen, and we’ll be there to help you.

  104. 104
    Kristine says:

    King always knew when something was wrong. He would sit next to me, all still and quiet instead of jumpy and “let’s wrestle.” Every so often, he would touch his nose to my cheek.

    I can’t add anything useful to what so many others have said.

    It wasn’t your fault. You gave him a great life.

    So, so sorry.

  105. 105
    Angela says:

    @TaMara (BHF): This even those of us who mainly lurk are so grateful to have jumped into BJ.

    Not your fault John. Your tears though and your honesty and your open love of your animals is what opens that door for all of us.

    You are a good egg and tissue or toilet paper man.

  106. 106
    lonesomerobot says:

    Just woke up to the multiple bits of horrible news. My heartfelt condolences to you, John. I’ve been reading your site for almost ten years now, and Tunch was like a family friend. He was a great guy, and it’s always too soon to lose a beloved companion. So sorry for your loss.

  107. 107
    knittingbull says:

    Devoted reader, rescue mom and I have never commented.
    The love John has for his furry kids is a joy to be a part of, and rest assured it’s no one’s fault. My Westie London loved to sleep under the overhang of the coffee table next to the wall (like a little box for him). After he passed way too soon at fourteen I saw the large spot his fur left on the wall. I couldn’t bear to paint over it for over a year. The dent in Tunch’s couch brought that all back. Weep, remember, and hug your children. We have all been enslaved to His Tunchness. We’re here for you, Rosie and even Lily.

  108. 108
    Patrick says:

    I’m so sorry John.

    I have been a big fan of Tunch from the beginning…especially after my two cats passed a few years ago.
    I will miss him greatly.


  109. 109
    Lotti says:

    John, we always feel like we let the ones that we love most down, but Tunch would be the first to assure you it was not the case.

    Let the love of your two sweet girl dogs remind you that you are a good papa to your family and may you find comfort in time.

    I was awake most of the night thinking about you and the world’s best cat and all the best cats I have known in a long life. There are so many holes in my heart, it probably looks like a Swiss cheese but somehow it keeps beating and I am somehow richer for all that I have loved and lost

    Tunch was truly one of a kind and there will never be another like him – but keep in mind that a lot of what our pets become is directly related to the love and attention that we have invested in them. You helped to make him the mighty cat that he was and he made you a better, more open person in the process. You were both blessed.

  110. 110
    sherparick says:

    Oh, what a hole in the heart you have. All we have is words, mere words, which are never a enough. All things must past. It is because of love you feel such pain, but the love still remains and prevaiils. You will always love Tunch and Tunch will always love you.

    “…If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

    4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears…”

  111. 111
    caune says:

    Tunch brought us all so much joy and that was because you shared him with us John. You did not let him down, you are not at fault.

    I hope you find some peace in the coming days and weeks and you can remember all the good you did for Tunch, and for all of us.

  112. 112
    tesslibrarian says:

    It’s not your fault. That can be a difficult idea to grasp right now, and maybe even later, but it’s true: it’s not your fault.

    When my Gilda died in 2009, I had no idea I could feel so much pain. It was as if every cell in my body was slowly changing shape. I missed about a week of work, and when I returned, I couldn’t talk about it at all. Then things somewhat evened out, but I hit a point, about six weeks later, where I entirely fell apart again because I couldn’t believe that I could exist having gone so long without touching her. I just didn’t understand how I could survive it.

    That will pass. It’s so hard, and it’s slow, but the waves of grief and sorrow start to space themselves out. You will never not miss Tunch. But it gets easier to live with after awhile, and when you think or talk of him, it will be what made you laugh or smile. And your heart will feel warm with love rather than ache with his absence. (As Biden said.)

    When I eventually brought home our wee beasties from the humane society, it had been two years. I worried I’d never love them as much, but I do, just in a different way.

    And when Duncan, the smaller sleek one, tries some of the crazy things Gilda would try, I always tell him not to listen to Ghost Kitty–she has a history of bad ideas. And rather than painful, it’s nice to think of her giving him crazy climbing plans, that even gone, I am still trying to convince a cat that the picture molding isn’t a place they can reach.

    But work through the grief now. Take Rosie’s comfort, appreciate Lily’s oblivious, constant joy in you. It will never be “okay,” but it will get better. Just take the time to let it happen.

  113. 113
    gogol's wife says:

    C. S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain (New York: Macmillan, 1945), Chapter 9: “Now it will be seen that, in so far as the tame animal has a real self or personality, it owes this almost entirely to its master. If a good sheepdog seems ‘almost human’ that is because a good shepherd has made it so . . . And in this way it seems to me possible that certain animals may have an immortality, not in themselves, but in the immortality of their masters” (pp. 127-28).

  114. 114
    Jane2 says:

    Late to the Late Night Thread, but echo the sentiments of 1) not your fault…bad things sometimes just happen; and 2) TP not paper towels. I hope you and the girls are getting some rest.

  115. 115
    gnomedad says:


    It’s a good thing that people are reaffirming that he’s not guilty (which is, of course, true), but telling him that he shouldn’t feel that way isn’t helpful.

    Good point. But I do believe your brain hears what your mouth says or your fingers type. “I can’t help feeling like I let you down” is OK, but please don’t say or type “I let you down.”

  116. 116
    Haroldo says:

    Mr. Cole –

    It’s not your fault. A month ago we lost a long standing member of the family, Moon Pie the Kitty. He disappeared during a thunderstorm – we were gone and weren’t at home to let him in. Did he freak out and run off into the swamp? Did a fisher cat or coyote get him? Dunno. Both grief and guilt followed. The grief still exists. Thanks heavens the guilt is gone (mostly).

    Thank you.

  117. 117
    Robert Watkins says:

    i sit here trying to type through the tears. the first time i came here there was a tunch post and that brought me back time and again. your love of your furry family is what makes you human (and i mean that in a good way). ya’ll put our rex on the cover of the last calendar and every time i pick him up and give him some scratch, i’ll think of you and tunch and your complete love for him and shed a tear or two. be at peace and know all of us hurt with you and will miss the fat bastard too.

  118. 118
    Jennifer says:

    Like the others have said, don’t blame yourself. I’ve lived through the deaths of numerous pets, and in most of the cases I’ve managed to find some guilt. If I had come home a day earlier, Ella wouldn’t have gotten lonely enough to cross the street looking for company. If I had been paying closer attention, I would have noticed Roscoe was off his feed. And so on and so forth.

    But here’s the thing: Ella loved being an inside/outside kitty and I wouldn’t have taken that away from her; I had to trust her to some degree to be careful when she was outside. Noticing Roscoe being off his feed a few days earlier (which didn’t happen because my dad had just undergone surgery for a brain tumor, for chrissakes) wouldn’t have cured his cancer. It’s a natural reaction, to some degree, to blame oneself – much easier than facing up to the fact that in most cases, we will outlive our beloved furry family members. When it’s all said and done, the important thing is not how they passed – because they all will, along with all of us – but that we were able to give them good lives. And if any cat was ever given a good life, it was your sweet fatboy. Most cats don’t even live to be 12 years old – that’s well into senior territory for them. But your Tunch not only had 12 years, they were 12 HAPPY years in a home where he was loved, pampered, and allowed to assume his rightful place. Right now you may not think that was enough, but seriously, dude, what more could you have done? We should all be so lucky to have someone love and care for us the way you did for Tunch. And don’t think he didn’t know it.

  119. 119
    Giovanna says:

    John –

    I know the sorrow that goes with the death of a companion fur-ball. I share your tears. You and Tunch had a good life together. I’m sorry for the shocking and unexpected way that it happened. And I’m glad that the rest of the furry ones are there to comfort you.

  120. 120
    InternetDragons says:

    When I woke up this morning one of my first thoughts was that I wish a lot of yesterday just hadn’t been real.

    It made me remember that after a sudden and unexpected loss like this, the real pain hits in subsequent days after the initial shock has worn off.

    So John, I hope you keep writing here when you need to, or stepping away from the blog when you need to. Either way, we’re here for you.

    For anyone who’s gotten the news about Tunch recently, please remember to donate to MARC (if you are able) as per John’s request:

    You can note that the donation is in Tunch’s name in the ‘special instructions’ portion.

  121. 121
    dp says:

    Wow, just found out. Having been through almost the exact thing (except it was my own dog, who had lived in the house with the cat for seven years), I am so sorry for your loss.

  122. 122
    pch1351 says:

    John I feel your pain and grief. This morning I had to put to sleep my beloved 18 year old Calico, Cybill. Her kidneys were failing and her quality of life had become very unpleasant. Losing a member of the family is always hard, but just like Tunch she had a good life for most of her years. Peace be with you.

  123. 123
    Gex says:

    YOU DID NOT LET HIM DOWN. I will not allow you to blame yourself. I will not. On the scale of kitty lives his was right up there with the best kitty lives lived. He was happy. And that awesome attitude of his only comes out when a person has raised a cat right and that cat is allowed to be who they are meant to be.

    Goddamn it. I’m crying again. Love to John and Tunch. And Balloon-Juice.

  124. 124
    Gex says:

    Also, I second the toilet paper recommendations. You and your damn cat had me crying so much yesterday I ran out of tissue. And, being quite practiced at running out of tissue this year, I can say unequivocally, use TP not paper towels.

  125. 125
    Gex says:

    @gnomedad: More importantly, telling him he didn’t let Tunch down isn’t the same as saying he shouldn’t be having those feelings. The guilt phase is part of grieving. It happens whether guilt is deserved or not. Those feelings come and go and need to be acknowledged and dealt with. But it doesn’t change the fact that he most definitely did not let Tunch down. And it is important to keep that in mind when your grief is in the guilt phase.

  126. 126
    Left Coast Tom says:

    John, I’m very sorry for your loss.

  127. 127
    Quinerly says:

    Long time lover of this blog and its little community. I have never posted until now and this is my third post on Tunch. My heart breaks for you, John Cole.

  128. 128
    phoebes-in-santa fe says:

    Cole, last night you showed the small grave you dug for Tunch. I’d advise you take the dogs outside to see it. They’ll know – particularly Rosie the JRT – that Tunch is in there and that he’s not coming out.

    As the others have said, over and over, you gave Tunch the best life for a cat. You gave him love and food, and most of all, your attention both verbally and physically. You also gave him a bit of immortality, in your writing about him for this blog. Tunch is a little bit of all of us, thanks to your writing.

  129. 129
    daryljfontaine says:

    They’re furry little empaths, dogs and cats alike.

    I woke up this morning after a day away from the Internet to a shitshow of terrible news. Goddammit, John, I’m sorry that part of that was about Tunch. I’ve called my kids (two frustrating, wonderful felines) over to me for extra pettings and cuddles today, in honor of the Turkish Minivan.

    Requiescat in pace, Tunch, you magnificent beast.


  130. 130
    Zifnab says:

    In sorry to hear the terrible news. Take care, John.

  131. 131
    Zifnab25 says:

    In sorry to hear the terrible news. Take care, John.

  132. 132
    Splitting Image says:

    Looks like I picked a good day to stay off the internet yesterday. Bad news all around.

    My condolences about Tunch, John. I wasn’t sure quite how long you’d had him, but I was expecting to hear about old age problems creeping up on him at some point. Having it end the way it did was sad and shocking.

  133. 133
    LanceThruster says:

    One of the harder parts of going through a loss like this are those waking moments when you think things are still the same, and then gradually remember that there is a new reality for you to face. It makes the pain fresh and recurring.

    I hope it helps John some to know others have tread this ground before…but it is a lonely road nonetheless.

  134. 134
    notorious JRT says:

    @TaMara (BHF):
    I love this analogy and think it is true.

    John, you brought Tunch to life for those of us who loved him without ever meeting him beyond all the virtual introductions. None of us has the power to extend a pet’s life once its time has come. If we could, no loved pet would ever die. This tragedy was an accident – a sad, horrible accident. I hope you can set down the guilt that is entwining itself in your great and understandable grief. Your capacity for kindness and love was known to Tunch; he was the first and best known exemplar of it for this reader. His safety and contentment was your priority. Feel the grief that comes with the loss of a loved one, but I beg you to jettison the guilt. Remember the way you enabled Tunchie to live, not the way fate snatched him from that life.

  135. 135
    CynDee says:

    Dear John,

    We are grieving for Tunch and you. In our sadness we are also celebrating the remarkable life of Tunch. We will always remember your superb kitty; there is no one like him, and certainly none more handsome, and never will be. Thank you for showing us how he lived his life. We have had hours and hours of joy and pleasure and inspiration because of who Tunch is, and because you shared him with us. He was a winner, a lovely creature to be cherished for his endless Catness.

    You are an especially fine human being because you have given your body and soul and resources to give your four-legged family wonderful lives.

    We have to believe that everybody will be with their beloved animals again, forever. We refuse to consider any other future.

    Take care of yourself. I guess you don’t need me to tell you that you had BETTER, because probably Tunch is watching and will hold you to account.

  136. 136
    muddy says:

    I completely understand your feelings of responsibility, John. I wish people would not tell you to feel that way. It’s a perfectly valid feeling. My Fionn, cat of my heart, drank anti-freeze in the street. Of course I felt that it was my fault, I was the one to allow him outdoors. I am in charge here, he did not slip out by accident.

    He was always outdoors at the old house, and was a remarkable hunter. We moved to another house which is very close to the street. I decided cats should stay in for safety. He hated it. The amount of property damage was ridiculous. He’d fling himself at the screens as hard as he could. He tried to tunnel his way to freedom through the wall. I could go on and on. He also considered himself one of the dogs, and they were all going out, it was just insupportable to him. He was miserable.

    I wished I could explain to a cat about the dangers, and why he should stay indoors. But after imagining this conversation I realized that even if he could understand he would still choose to go outdoors.

    It was my responsibility to keep him in for safety, but it was also my responsibility as a parent/friend to let him live his life in happiness, even if that wasn’t what I would choose for him. I loved him and respected him enough to accept his “lifestyle choice”. I was so worried about the street, the anti-freeze never occurred to me.

    Had I kept him in, his life would have been longer, but also unhappier. Although I still feel responsibility for my own actions, it has helped me to accept the consequences that came from his freedom. I truly feel in my heart that he would choose his freedom over longevity. As would many of us.

  137. 137
    Bex says:

    Millie the 14 year old red tabby has gotten extra pets and (way too many) extra treats today. Can’t see to type right now, so just please accept my sympathy.

  138. 138
    Mrs. Polly says:

    There is something in us that always, always, points the accusing finger in our own direction; perhaps it’s that we need to feel we have the sort of control over life that in actuality, we just don’t have.

    You aren’t clairvoyant. That split-second that you didn’t foresee is not your fault. If you’re going over and over it, yell “stop” at yourself. Put on some really loud rock, and push up the base till it rattles your ribcage, if it won’t upset the doggies.

    You were lucky to have each other. He lived a fabulous life with you. All cats should be so fortunate.

  139. 139
    WaterGIrl says:

    John, I was inconsolable when I lost my kitty soulmate, Quiver. On that day, in the most unlikely of places, I found something to console me. I turned on the TV to distract myself from my grief, and received a huge gift from the universe.

    Criminal Minds was on, and if you are familiar with the show you will know that as the show starts and ends, we hear the voice of a cast member reciting a quote. On this day, of all days, this was the quote, recited in the kindest, most caring voice imaginable:

    “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief, and of unspeakable love.”

    – Washington Irving

    Having my grief affirmed, and my love for quiver affirmed, was very powerful. I share this here in the hopes that it might provide you even one moment of comfort in this terrible time.

  140. 140
    Ted & Hellen says:

    Oh good god, Cole, I am so sorry about Tunch. Just found out and just absorbing.

    Let yourself grieve and cry…snot is good at times like this.


  141. 141
    Bonnie says:

    My sister lost a beloved dog recently; and, she was inconsolable, too. After much thinking and looking around for something to do for her, I gave her the doggy equivalent of this:

    Maybe something like this would help, maybe not. Again, I am so, so sorry for your loss.

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