Let’s Start a Pool

So the jury has been selected in the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin murder case, and there is simply no doubt in my mind that Zimmerman will be acquitted. Sorry, but I just do not see Zimmerman getting convicted for killing a black dude in Florida.

At any rate, we all know how this will play out. He’ll get acquitted, there will be civil unrest, the usual suspects will show up and there will be marches and counter-marches, and then, of course, because he is black and supposed to heal several centuries of racial wounds, our failed media experiment will demand that Obama make peace for America and “seriously” address racial issues.

Side note- Because I want to save you all some time, I will seriously address racial issues in America right now. There are a lot of racist motherfuckers who think there is no problem killing a black kid with an ice tea and skittles because he was walking while black in a gated community. There. That’s the fucking truth, and sadly, it ends there.

Here’s the pool. Who will be the media assholes demanding Obama get involved in this (because, you know, he is black). Or who will say his was a failed Presidency because there are still racist peckerneck douchebags still running around half the country? Maureen Dowd? The Politico? Tapper? Harwood? Cilizza? Noonan? Fournier? Red State? National Review?

Put your guesses in the comments and I will make a list so we can start an office pool. I have intentionally left John Derbyshire and Michelle Malkin off this list because I want it to be competitive.






217 replies
  1. 1
    amk says:

    My bet is on some firebagger.

  2. 2
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    John, RedState is a gathering place for racist peckerneck douchebags. The only thing they’ll have to say will be various iterations of ‘kid had it coming.’ For the specific type of concern trolling you describe, I’ll say Joe Scarborough.

  3. 3
    Aji says:

    Can I just go for accuracy instead of points and say all of the above?

    BTW, the all-women jury thing? If by chance he does get convicted, it will take all of 30 seconds for him to shriek “ineffective assistance of counsel” and retain a new lawyer, who will, in another 30 seconds, file for an appeal on grounds that he was not tried by a jury of his peers. It’s already writ not only large, but in flashing neon lights.

    Oh, and happy early birthday, Cole.

  4. 4
    Hal says:

    I’ve been dreading this trial for months now, and I’m pretty much sure Zimmerman will be acquitted followed by the excuses. Well, we really don’t know what Trayvon was up to in the end, and gee, if only he hadn’t acted like a thug. Oh, and he smoked pot and was suspended from school once, so there.

    Remember kids, if a grown ass man with a loaded gun ever approaches you, he’s just your friendly neighborhood self appointed watchman, their to protect and serve. Do what he says and be respectful, and you’ll be fine.

  5. 5
    elmo says:

    It’s been five years, and I still occasionally come up short and then get a huge kick out of the simple fact: the President of the United States is a black man.

    I live in the future, to be sure.

  6. 6
    Capri says:

    My bet is that he’ll be convicted of something – some type of lesser charge like involuntary manslaughter or reckless something or other. It won’t be a clear win for either side, and nobody will be happy.

  7. 7
    Yatsuno says:

    Chucky Todd. One cookie.

  8. 8
    phantomist says:

    Are you kidding, this is easy.

    Chris Matthews.

  9. 9
    Narcissus says:

    I’m gonna say Drudge. Low hanging fruit and all.

  10. 10
  11. 11
    Cacti says:

    Hung jury or outright acquittal.

    Chris Hayes or Rachel Maddow

    On edit, Ralph Nader might surface from the sewer for this one also.

  12. 12
    Deborah Newell Tornello says:

    You know it will be Scarborough saying those things. All those things. Joe Scarborough will be saying them sooner, louder, prouder.

  13. 13
    MoeLarryAndJesus says:

    This decade is shaping up as the final decade of significant political power for the most disgusting group in American history – Angry White Guys.

    They’re not going down without a lot of noise and grief, but they are going down. Let’s send them out with an endless torrent of mockery and contempt, okay?

  14. 14
    JWL says:

    The cops are on tape telling Z to cool his jets. An unarmed kid visiting his father was shot and killed.

    40, 50, 60 years ago, sure, a slam dunk acquittal.

    Nor do I trust, hope, or predict a just verdict will necessarily be reached by the jury.

    But, yeah, I tend to think that trigger happy dimwit will be found guilty, and as charged. Times have changed a bit during my lifetime.

  15. 15
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    Also, you forgot to mention the prize for winning the pool. Keeping with Balloon Juice tradition, I suggest one (1) bag of salted dicks.

  16. 16
    srv says:

    Noonan will pen an opus about how the outrage over the acquital represents Obama’s failure in leadership. Rather than bring us together, he could not stop himself from taking sides and now we are more divided because of it.

  17. 17
    Litbrit says:

    You know it will be Joe Scar saying those things. All those things. He will be saying them sooner, louder, prouder.

  18. 18
    rea says:

    I expect that he will be convicted. His defense team does not impress me, and the prosecution team seems quite competent. I don’t see how he gets very far with a self-defense claim without testifying, and I’m skeptical that he’d make a good witness (it was also a major mistake to get caught lying to the judge in connection with bail–that ouht to be admissible if he testifies). And, frankly, it’s very rare for the defense to win a criminal trial.

  19. 19
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    there is simply no doubt in my mind that Zimmerman will be acquitted

    One of the jurors referred to the protests about Zimmerman being allowed to walk as “the riots”; another wondered why Trayvon was out “so late”. He was shot at 7:!5

    I think it will be a chorus of the Very Serious calling for Obama to do… something, and to do it yesterday! Joe Klein, who famously wet himself over Do The Right Thing leading to race riots, will be one of the leading voices.

  20. 20
    Suffern ACE says:

    Hmm. I’m going to go counter intuitive and say Cornell West.

  21. 21
    kindness says:

    They’ll convict Treyvon for assaulting Zimmerman’s bullet.

  22. 22
    karen says:

    Sully.

  23. 23
    lol chikinburd says:

    @MoeLarryAndJesus: It’ll only be the last such decade if America remains meaningfully democratic afterward.

    Angry White Guys will have all kinds of other options. And all the power with which to pursue them.

  24. 24
    Ted & Hellen says:

    Cole, until reading this post I was unaware that you were present at the time and location of the Martin-Zimmerman altercation.

    Will you be testifying?

  25. 25
    BarbCat says:

    @srv: Beat me to it. Exactly. But please call her “Dame Noonan”.

  26. 26
    Cassidy says:

    Dark horse: Kevin Williamson from National Review

  27. 27
    Cacti says:

    @Ted & Hellen:

    What took you so long to get here?

    Your night to light the cross?

  28. 28
    Redshirt says:

    @Ted & Hellen: So contrary! You are a true hero, T&H.

  29. 29
    Linnaeus says:

    I’m not a lawyer, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I think there’s a decent chance that he will be convicted. An acquittal is possible, but it’s not as sure-fire as it would have been 50+ years ago.

  30. 30
    srv says:

    20000 more border patrol, one every thousand feet.

    http://www.reuters.com/article.....4520130621

    Cornyn and Coburn are mad about it.

  31. 31
    Hal says:

    Don’t take the bait folks.

  32. 32
    Aji says:

    @lol chikinburd: [Pounces] why have you not been at the GOS in, well, like, forever? Yes, I do notice these things . . . .

  33. 33
    amk says:

    ‘grats cole. Your trollbait still works.

  34. 34
    Wayne t says:

    I thought acquittal was all but a guarantee until I heard the entire jury is composed of women.

    So I’ll go out on the limb and bet on the chicks.

  35. 35
    BGinCHI says:

    Michelle Obama divorces him and has a lesbian affair with Bill Ayers.

    /prefer direct deposit

  36. 36
    The prophet Nostradumbass says:

    Boring one-note troll is boring.

  37. 37
    Lurking Canadian says:

    @JWL: All it takes is one jackass who buys the “Trayvon was MMA slamming his head repeatedly into the concrete” bullshit, and he walks.

    There are more than one such citizen regularly posting at Balloon-Juice. I will be somewhat astonished if there is not one such on the jury.

  38. 38
    amk says:

    @BGinCHI: lulz. I get the divorce part but why ayers?

  39. 39
    srv says:

    @BarbCat: Only Peggy can empathize with those female jurors and the fear of living in a city filled with black men walking.

  40. 40
    MoZeu says:

    @Aji: You’re kidding, right?

  41. 41
    chopper says:

    bobo will blame it on a lack of hayekian modesty.

  42. 42
    Ted & Hellen says:

    @Lurking Canadian:

    How do you know it was “bullshit?” You were there also?

    You will be testifying also then? Excellent! I had not seen your name in the related news articles…

  43. 43
    Suffern ACE says:

    @srv: well honestly it is kind of silly. Especially if hiring all of those agents is what is going to trigger the path to citizenship clock. All congress would need to do is cut some. For that matter, are there 20,000 people who want to stand in Arizona?

  44. 44
    gbear says:

    Jim Hoft, but nobody will care.

  45. 45
    Aji says:

    @MoZeu: Kidding about what?

  46. 46
    Ted & Hellen says:

    Boring I wasn’t there but I know all the facts and am qualified to pronounce a verdict before hearing the evidence trolls are boring.

  47. 47
    BGinCHI says:

    @amk: If I was the Governor of Maine I’d describe it as “he’s been crying like a bitch lately.”

    Or it could be the grown man with two earrings who isn’t a pirate thing.

    Could also be Chicago style thuggery. I’ve been known to do that.

  48. 48
    David in NY says:

    @Aji: You don’t know much about ineffective assistance of counsel law. And if the defense wasn’t objecting that the prosecution intentionally threw all men or all blacks off the jury (and AFAIK they didn’t), you can forget about jury of their peers argument as well.

  49. 49
    Cassidy says:

    @Suffern ACE: Hell, I turned down the Border Patrol because we didn’t want to live in Texas or Arizona.

  50. 50
    BGinCHI says:

    @gbear: Hoft can’t read so he’ll have to wait for the audio version and that could set him back time-wise.

  51. 51
    Reasonable 4ce says:

    I have faith in MoDo. She never disappoints!

  52. 52
    gbear says:

    @Hal:

    Do what he says and be respectful, and you’ll be fine.

    And then dead.

  53. 53
    amk says:

    @BGinCHI:

    Chicago style thuggery.

    Yes, I wouldn’t put anything past that woman.

  54. 54
    Aji says:

    @David in NY: Actually, since I’m a lawyer, I do. I also know about sundown towns, and the rules that differ for Black victims, etc. And I notice you didn’t actually read my comment, since you’re clearly assuming things I didn’t say, but whatever.

  55. 55
    Stella says:

    Of course you know by now that just as Roe V. Wade gave the anti-choice fuckbags something to focus on and caused all the anti-abortion terrorism, Preisdent Obamas election riled up all the racist fuckbags and is the ultimate cause of Trayvon being murdered. I am betting someone pointing that out and of course that will make the president responsible for any aftermath of the aquittal as well. He should have been more racially transcendent and resigned the moment he was elected. Just sayin’. Also too, that makes this and all the coming troubles the fault of all us liberals that voted for him because we are clearly the bloodthirsty troublemakers trying to destroy our country here.

  56. 56
    gbear says:

    @BGinCHI: Yeah. I realized after I posted it. He’s so slow that he’ll really be a long shot to win, but he may just do a pre-emptive call. He’s gone ahead without the facts before. Do I get double winner points if he’s first but he gets it wrong?

  57. 57
    Ultraviolet Thunder says:

    @Cassidy:

    “Hell, I turned down the Border Patrol because we didn’t want to live in Texas or Arizona.”

    I’m in Houston at the moment. Looks like they control immigration from the south by creating poor restaurant copies of Mexican cuisine to drive them back home in disgust.

    The lack of zoning laws is really obvious. I visited a factory that was smack up against a gorgeous Buddhist temple.

    And the lack of workplace safety is also really obvious but I can’t talk about that.

  58. 58
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Ted & Hellen: And you were in the locker room with Sandusky?

  59. 59
    Cassidy says:

    @Ultraviolet Thunder: I was stationed in San Antonio for two years. Lovely city. Way too many damn white people in giant SUVs.

  60. 60
    RepubAnon says:

    I can’t believe I’m the first one to play the Thomas Friedman card. He’ll note that a cab driver told him that Obama’s presidency is over – and then give the President 6 months to turn the hearts and minds of Republicans around by visiting South Dakota.

  61. 61
    Gopher2b says:

    No violent civil unrest. Bet my buttons on it.

  62. 62
    Upper West says:

    Gotta go with Dowd:

    “Barry was supposed to be different, but even if you repudiate Reverend Wright, you can’t get Reverend Wright out of you. Obambi needs to be more like Sidney Poitier in “The Defiant Ones,” or rather like Sidney Poitier in “To Sir with Love,” or rather like Richard Pryor in “Stir Crazy”. Pryor got along with that white guy, Gene Wilder. But no, Mr. aAoof, fancy pants condescended to those endearing macho rednecks and it’s no wonder that one of them killed a guy who looked like Barry.”

  63. 63
    mclaren says:

    Zimmerman will be convicted on all counts. Hear it now, believe it when it happens.

  64. 64
    NotMax says:

    No one suggested Al Sharpton yet?

  65. 65
    BGinCHI says:

    Maybe Rick “The Felon” Scott will pre-commute his sentence. Or even pre-pardon.

    Then again Zimmerman could end up as Governor at this rate.

  66. 66
    BGinCHI says:

    @mclaren: You have the Contrarian Emmy all sewed up.

  67. 67

    He’s going to jail. The dude is a Latino, after all. But if he’s acquitted and there are riots, Geraldo Rivera is the obvious guy to blame Obama.

  68. 68
    ruemara says:

    I think it might be more complicated than just an acquittal. I would almost welcome a complete miscarriage of justice. I fear it will be a conviction, but on whatever lesser charges Zimmerman is up on. If he is found guilty on anything major, the sentence will be laughable, particularly if it is compared with others who have been convicted on the same charges. It will injustice cloaked with the thinnest veneer of justice.

    First tool to demand Obama heal the nation? Joke Line, possibly Kurtz, or Nooners.

  69. 69
    Ultraviolet Thunder says:

    @Cassidy:

    I’m in Texas for the week, so my opinion is worthless I know.
    People here complain about the traffic. I’m surprised because drivers are actually very sane and reasonable compared to most big cities. Dallas to Houston yesterday was a stressless breeze.
    I’m actually enjoying everything here except the heat and humidity. It’s a mellower vibe than most urban areas.
    I have a friend in San Antonio who says it’s the perfect Texas city.

  70. 70
    Killjoy says:

    Hannity.

  71. 71
    Jay says:

    I feel like Howard Kurtz belongs somewhere in here, especially given that he just signed with Fox.

  72. 72
    amk says:

    @Upper West: You win. Mail me your bank a/c info.

  73. 73

    @BGinCHI: Damn, I was sure he would be convicted, but since I’m agreeing with mclaren now I’m not so sure.

  74. 74
    Ultraviolet Thunder says:

    Regarding Zimmerman, God only knows how this will turn out and She ain’t hinting.
    I’m pre-hating the revived media circus around the trial. It will be teeth-gritting agony.

  75. 75
    MikeJ says:

    The regulatory board overseeing marijuana legalization in Washington State is leaning toward allowing licensed growers to raise the drug outdoors, citing the much higher carbon footprint of indoor and greenhouse cultivation, board members said.

  76. 76
    Redshirt says:

    @Upper West: That’s some good work right there.

    Sorry, Hamsher & Norquist

  77. 77
    Chris says:

    Who will be the media assholes demanding Obama get involved in this

    “All of them!”

  78. 78
    burnspbesq says:

    I’m going to really enjoy throwing this mess in your face when Zimmerman is convicted. You’re not only completely pig-fuck ignorant about law, you’re bound and determined to stay that way.

  79. 79
    phantomist says:

    MSNBC commentator Chris Matthews, while assessing the State of the Union address, said Obama was a “post-racial” figure whose presence was no longer a surprise or novelty. “I forgot he was black tonight,” he said.

  80. 80
    Hungry Joe says:

    Douhat.

    Hung jury. (I haven’t a clue, actually, and can’t even pretend to know any more about it than some guy off the street. But it was wide open: No one has said “Hung jury” yet. I had to pounce. And now it’s mine.)

  81. 81
    Cacti says:

    @burnspbesq:

    You’re not only completely pig-fuck ignorant about law, you’re bound and determined to stay that way

    How many criminal trials for you burnsie?

  82. 82
    trollhattan says:

    @Ted & Hellen:

    We know fer sure the sidewalk was mean to somebody’s haid.

  83. 83
    Sawgrass Stan says:

    I’m a native Floridian (wanna make something of it???) so I don’t have too many illusions about how this thing will play out. Big question, though: why was the first charge murder 2 instead of manslaughter 1? I’d be satisfied with whatever murder charge would stick, considering what we know of the established facts– Z-man with a gun, pursuing Trayvon against police directives, including stalking and confrontation. Sounds like murder, all right(and I think it is), but the actionable stuff, the stuff the jury has to convict on, may not pass the “beyond a reasonable doubt” threshold in murder 2. Manslaughter 1 seems more realistic, as in “more likely to secure a conviction,” and the prosecutor may have been trying to get Zimmy to plead down to this with the murder charge. Right now, I’m with John– Zimmerman walks. Murder 1 might have gotten the family at least a shred of justice. The real debate is now whether it’s due to collusion, or just simple– sorry, -MASSIVE incompetence by the “People” of Florida.
    Sorry ’bout the long comment, but this is fuckin’ sad for all of us.

  84. 84
    Ted & Hellen says:

    @Ultraviolet Thunder:

    I’m pre-hating the revived media circus around the trial. It will be teeth-gritting agony

    Please.

    You’ll love every second of it. And you’re praying for an acquittal so you can feel victimized.

  85. 85
    Quaker in a Basement says:

    I don’t know who will be first to call on Obama to make America’s peace over the outcome of the trial. But whoever it is will also be the first to declare that Obama did it wrong and is dividing America.

  86. 86
    amk says:

    @burnspbesq: Is that a curse or a threat?

  87. 87
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    @burnspbesq:

    McLaren and Burnsy, united at last!

    I don’t know how the case will turn out (I’m hoping for a conviction), but I agree with the sentiment that “He’s black and it’s the South” isn’t as airtight as it was in 1958. That part of Florida has so many Northern migrants anyway. Not that that’s a guarantee of them not being racist, but this isn’t rural 50’s Alabama with Bull Connor-types overseeing everything.

  88. 88
    gbear says:

    @ruemara:

    If he is found guilty on anything major, the sentence will be laughable,

    I hope it’s laughable in that they give Zimmie a packet of slittles, a bottle of tea and give him a destination to reach on foot that’s 2 milles on the other side of a housing project.

  89. 89
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    @Hungry Joe:

    Well, it can’t be a hung jury. It’s all women.

  90. 90
    Cacti says:

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    Well, it can’t be a hung jury. It’s all women.

    Hi yo!

  91. 91
    BGinCHI says:

    @burnspbesq: Best Nathan R. Jessup impression ever.

  92. 92
    magurakurin says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    are there 20,000 people who want to stand in Arizona?

    especially the parts of Arizona where the border is. think:hot…really, really, really fucking hot.

    I used to live in Bisbee, Arizona. I just saw a picture of the border in Naco. Wow, it has really changed. When I lived there the border road was a dirt cow path and the fence was your garden variety, barbed wire cattle fence. In Naco itself there was a big gap where people just went back and forth since families lived on both sides. We used to go down there to buy cheap groceries and that awesome queso fresco that they make in Mexico.

    Also, too, funny how they have 30 billion for a ridiculous idea to stand people to be guardmen in one of the hottest, most inhospitable places on Earth, but they need to cut nearly 30 billion from an already paltry and underfunded food stamps program. Dicks.

  93. 93
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    I don’t know how this turns out, but I have a pretty good idea. But I do know this: Trayvon’s still dead, and nothing that gets done to Zimmerman is going to change that.

    Keeping that in mind, the verdict almost doesn’t really matter, now does it?

  94. 94
    amk says:

    @BGinCHI: I could actually see burnsie’s veins throbbing. Scaryshit.

  95. 95
    Hungry Joe says:

    @Spaghetti Lee: Okay, I laughed. But say you’re sorry anyway.

  96. 96
    BGinCHI says:

    @amk: I suspect he’s always been a Chelsea supporter.

  97. 97
    catpal says:

    either way Zimmerman will not get what he deserves – life in prison with no parole.

    I have read that if he is acquitted – that USDOJ could go for a hate crime conviction — it worked in PA to convict a few acquitted racist assholes – including local police.

    if the DOJ went after Zimmerman, then I bet the TP racists would be attempting to burn down the white house for real.

  98. 98
    PIGL says:

    @Spaghetti Lee: what kind of salt, exactly? I needz to no befoar I places my bet.

  99. 99
    Sawgrass Stan says:

    @Sawgrass Stan: damn– I meant, ” manslaughter 1″, not “murder 1”. And , yeah, I know Man 1 is getting off easy. It’s just that “aquited of murder, double jeopardy applies” is WAY less easy for Trayvon’s family to deal with.

  100. 100
    Cacti says:

    Heat win 95-88

    phooey!

  101. 101
    David Koch says:

    This is Obama’s fault!

  102. 102
    Groucho48 says:

    I like that there aren’t any white guys on the jury. I took it for granted there wouldn’t be more than one, at the most, black guy.

    I don’t know anything about the specific jurors except a few snippets from various articles, but, I’m cautiously optimistic that, if the prosecution presents a good case, the jury will convict. The big question for me is how good a job the police did on forensics. If they were as sloppy as I’m afraid they were, there might be enough reasonable doubt about what happened that Zimmerman gets acquitted.

  103. 103
    different-church-lady says:

    OK, with Cole’s prediction I feel a lot better about Zimmerman being convicted.

  104. 104
    The prophet Nostradumbass says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if this ends up going the same way as the trial of the guy who killed Oscar Grant here in the Bay Area.

  105. 105
    The Dangerman says:

    Put me down for the Daily Double…

    …Zimmerman gets convicted because the stupid fuck testifies in his own defense and says something fucking stupid.

  106. 106
    DH says:

    Since I did this last year, it seems appropriate this year:

    HEAT WIN HEAT WIN HEAT WIN!!!!

    And since I live in S Fla, which will probably be under water in a few years, I will take this one :)

  107. 107
    Narcissus says:

    OT: How do I get rid of frogs? Don’t want to hurt them, just want them to stop showing up in my basement. I’ve had to remove a couple from my unfinished basement and put them outside. I want to nip this in the bud before they come upstairs. For all I know it might be the same frog.

    I don’t want to hurt the frog but his continued presence isn’t playing well with my OCD.

  108. 108
    different-church-lady says:

    @Cacti: I just looked up “Manu” in the dictionary. Turns out it’s Spanish for “meltdown”.

  109. 109
    BGinCHI says:

    @Narcissus: I’d say motel room and maybe some Chinese food but DO NOT kiss.

  110. 110
    amk says:

    @Narcissus: pet snakes ? twofer.

  111. 111
    Cacti says:

    @different-church-lady:

    I just looked up “Manu” in the dictionary. Turns out it’s Spanish for “meltdown”.

    They had their chances, Tuesday and this evening. Difference was LeBron. He refused to let Miami lose Game 6 or 7.

  112. 112
    The Dangerman says:

    @different-church-lady:

    I just looked up “Manu” in the dictionary. Turns out it’s Spanish for “meltdown”.

    Biggest possessions with a few seconds left, two consecutive games, and one of the Top 2 point guards in the world is sitting on the bench to let Manu run the One. Pops is a fine coach, but he’s been reading his press clippings, because that’s 3 Sciavo’s on Brain Dead meter.

  113. 113

    Had an epiphany at the barber today. It’s an old school barber shop – pretty much the only one in the area. I go there because it’s cheap and they do a good job, but every visit contains an affirmation that middle aged white males are the most discriminated class of person ever to live on earth. I used to wonder why the constant stream of whiny bullshit didn’t impact their business, but today sitting there with a 50-something guy on one side trying to convince me that the minorities were taking all of the jobs from whites, and the 50-something guy on the other side trying to convince me that the minorities are moochers and don’t pay any taxes (I did actually pause the conversation to ask “But if this guy is saying they’re taking all the jobs from whites, then doesn’t that mean they’re paying more taxes than we are?” I was then dutily informed that everyone who wears Ray-Bans hates America because Bill Clinton wore them on tee-vee. I never did figure that out.

    Anyway, the epiphany came when I realized that neither of the 50-something guys had any hair. The barber shop wasn’t in the business of cutting hair, they were in the business of reaffirming how horrible life is for middle-aged white men in the 6th richest city in the country. The haircut was just an excuse to pay $12 for their 2 minutes of hate.

  114. 114
    amk says:

    @BGinCHI: Frog joke

    A lonely frog, desparate for some form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

    The frog is thrilled and says, “This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?”

    “No” says the psychic, “in her Biology class.”

  115. 115

    @Narcissus: French exchange student.

  116. 116
    Shortstop says:

    Some pitch-perfect predictions of media moaning here, especially from srv and Stella, but I actually think Zimmerman might be convicted. Not because I have any illusions about the general fairness of the judicial process in these situations, and not because I know any more or less about criminal law than Burns does, which is fuck-all. And again, unlike Burnsie, I don’t have a laughably long history of making wrong predictions about court cases while being too dumb to be embarrassed about that very public history, and I can cheerfully admit it later when I am wrong. So let’s see how this goes — whatever way it turns out, Burns will be a laughingstock once again for his inability to have normal conversations with…well, anyone, so there’s always that little treat on the horizon.

  117. 117
    Cacti says:

    @The Dangerman:

    Biggest possessions with a few seconds left, two consecutive games, and one of the Top 2 point guards in the world is sitting on the bench to let Manu run the One. Pops is a fine coach, but he’s been reading his press clippings, because that’s 3 Sciavo’s on Brain Dead meter.

    Win or lose, tonight was pretty much the end of the road for the Duncan/Parker/Manu era. It’s been a great 10 years.

    I wonder what the future holds for SA.

  118. 118
    MikeJ says:

    @Narcissus:

    How do I get rid of frogs?

    Let my people go.

    We still have gnats, pestilence, boils, hail, locust to try before we get to the whole blood over the doorway thing.

  119. 119
    BGinCHI says:

    @amk: No way a frog who can use a phone becomes a science experiment.

    You don’t know anything about the law!

    /burns

  120. 120
    Suffern ACE says:

    @amk: Yeah. I was going to suggest releasing 1/2 dozen garter snakes. We could build an eco system. A marten to catch the snakes, an owl to catch the marten.

  121. 121

    @amk: haha! That’s a good/terrible joke.

  122. 122
    BGinCHI says:

    @Shortstop: I’d agree if weren’t FL folks trying to convict him. Given the number of black dudes FL has put on death row and then released, I’m guessing the U of FL law school is in the back of a Pizza Hut.

  123. 123
    Shortstop says:

    @Shortstop: also too, it will be Obama’s fault that Zimmerman was “lynched” by the jury. This never would have happened on a white president’s watch, but Obama simply cannot stop stoking the fires of racial resentment.

  124. 124
    kc says:

    You wanna get really depressed, go read the comments on TalkLeft. Merritt deletes anything faintly critical of Zimmerman (and bitches at anyone who says anything negative about Z) but permits her commenters to trash the hell out of Martin.

  125. 125
    amk says:

    @Suffern ACE: And then a republican to claim them all as dependents and pay zero taxes.

  126. 126
    Cacti says:

    After the acquittal, what’s the over/under on minutes until Zimmerman’s first Fox News interview?

  127. 127
    bk says:

    Q. If Ted and Helen and burnspbesq both jumped off a ten-story building at the same time, who would hit the ground first!

    A. Who cars?

  128. 128
    taylormattd says:

    I hope nobody has this yet, but my money is on Donna Brazille

  129. 129
    Petorado says:

    I’m hoping to god you’re wrong Cole, because I’m believing that when money is involved, a conservatives right to be a complete fking dick trumps my right to be alive .. and that’s not the country I want to live in.

  130. 130
    BGinCHI says:

    @Cacti: There is no under.

  131. 131
    BGinCHI says:

    @bk: Burns has a car service, so I assume he gets in and slams the door in the siamese twins’ face.

  132. 132
    Shortstop says:

    @Cacti: and his horrible, horrible family. Ugh. Ugh.

  133. 133
    amk says:

    @The prophet Nostradumbass: My life depends on it. If I don’t tell one a day, I die. Honest.

  134. 134
    Cacti says:

    George Zimmerman to give keynote address at 2014 NRA convention following his acquittal.

  135. 135
    amk says:

    @bk: The double dick will simply float away since it’s full of hot air.

  136. 136
    ChristianPinko says:

    Who will be the media assholes demanding Obama get involved in this (because, you know, he is black). Or who will say his was a failed Presidency because there are still racist peckerneck douchebags still running around half the country?

    I’d put my money on David Brooks.

  137. 137
    Shortstop says:

    @amk: is that how those little pills work? So they’re just trying to distract us with the two bathtubs thing?

  138. 138
    Shortstop says:

    What is the venue? I’ve been distracted with other things, like trying fruitlessly to pawn off all my household stuff on BG and everyone else in Chicago so I don’t have to move it next month.

  139. 139
    Redshirt says:

    Hamsher, Norquist, and Paul.

  140. 140
    Cacti says:

    Juror B76 is described as a middle aged white female, who when she heard about it on the news, she wondered why Trayvon Martin was “out so late at night” (time of death approximately 7:16 p.m.).

    Yeah, I’ve got a really good feeling about the outcome.

  141. 141
    trollhattan says:

    @Cacti:

    “Zimmerman-JoeDaPlumber ’16. Either way,you’re hosed.”

  142. 142

    It’s a little late for me. All the good horses have been picked, but really, does it matter? Don’t they send out a mimeo with approved talking points to everyone in the club?

  143. 143

    @Cacti: Sundown towns, not just in the past.

  144. 144
    Punchy says:

    @kc: Is Armando still running the place?

    My money is on Fred Phelps.

  145. 145
    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again) says:

    @Narcissus:

    Build a tower in the back yard. Imprison a princess within. The frogs will go there.

  146. 146
    Cacti says:

    On the other hand, if the jurors shock me and return a guilty verdict, the fact that they’re white as the snows of Everest will rob the librul media of the chance to blame it on stupid blah people who reflexively voted guilty due to their skin color.

  147. 147
    Gex says:

    I miss this place.

  148. 148
    Kay says:

    @Cacti:

    I’m hoping they’ll be swayed by the fact that Martin was running away. Whatever happened after that, Martin was running not because he did anything wrong, but because he was running FROM Zimmerman. They can’t avoid that. It isn’t disputed and it’s on tape.

  149. 149
    amk says:

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): It might work.

    Once upon a time, a beautiful princess happened upon a frog in a pond.

    The frog said to the princess, “I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel lucky for doing so.”

    That night the princess had frog legs for dinner.

    ///

    Ok, ok, I am truly done here. Stick a fork in me.

  150. 150
    Yatsuno says:

    @Cacti: I can tell you one truth: regardless of the verdict, it will be Obummer’s fault.

  151. 151
    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again) says:

    @amk:

    Princess in tower, no frog.

  152. 152
    Suffern ACE says:

    Whatever the outcome, we can be sure that the media will realize that this is a case that will require very good reporting on the trial. We should know everything about what evidence was brought into the case. What has been excluded and why, so we will have an accurate picture of what the jury is hearing by the time they reach their decision. Oh, who am I kidding? We’ll get 30 seconds on some bombshell revelaton of the day followed by 5 minutes of four to six “legal analysts” who will shout at each other.

  153. 153
  154. 154
    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again) says:

    @Narcissus:

    Well, the frogs seem to think there’s one in your basement, so maybe you should dig around there for a while. Otherwise,,,I dunno…Craigslist?

  155. 155
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Narcissus: I hear they attend balls and competitions to determine the fairest in the land. Also, 40 mattresses and one pea will help you test to see if you have a real one.

  156. 156
    Scott Alloway says:

    @Wayne t: Yup. Especially if they’re moms. Don’t kill a kid and expect a mother to buy your story.

  157. 157
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @kc:

    Jeralyn was a hard core PUMA, which explains everything about her Zimmerman support.

  158. 158
    b-psycho says:

    Ross Douthat. That’s my vote.

  159. 159
    amk says:

    @Narcissus: Easier to find some neighborhood kids who will kill them for free for ya take them home as pets (and then kill them).

  160. 160
    ellie says:

    @Cacti: Hahahahaha!

  161. 161
    michelle says:

    Rick Moran.

    Bank on it.

  162. 162
    Feebog says:

    Can’t believe I’m agreeing with Burns and McLaren, but I think there will be a conviction, most likely manslaughter 1. Based this on the fact that this is an all female jury, and that Marcia Clark is not on the prosecution team.

  163. 163
    kc says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    She’s a criminal defense attorney, so I completely understand her pro-defense bias. But for her to declare Zimmerman off limits in comments, while allowing commenters to wantonly smear Martin – that just makes me kind of ill.

  164. 164
    piratedan says:

    I’ll say it will be Andrew Sullivan, with an OpEd piece, and false equivalency

  165. 165
    cokane says:

    hard to believe they get him for murder, the facts don’t really hold up for that. Since he didn’t confront Martin with the intent to kill him. He obviously deserves something serious, and manslaughter sounds right, though I am no lawyer.

    His aggressive actions directly led to Martin’s death. Seems manslaughtery.

  166. 166
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @burnspbesq:

    You’re not only completely pig-fuck ignorant about law, you’re bound and determined to stay that way.

    Like the law has anything at all to do with the politics, the racial politics, of this case. You’re putting this in the hands of a bunch of non-lawyers to decide. The law? What law?

    Cole’s apprehension is perfectly reasonable. I’d like to believe that the law would be followed, but I don’t think the law will be the most crucial factor in the jury’s decision on this.

  167. 167
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @kc:

    Being a defense attorney is no excuse for the way she allows Martin to be slammed while deleting everything that she doesn’t like that is said about Zimmerman. Being a PUMA isn’t an excuse either but it’s a hell of a good one in explaining her particular ‘bent’ in this case.

  168. 168
    Steve in Sacto says:

    Seriously, it took 136 responses to get the only David Brooks guess? Y’all fail.

  169. 169
    Another Halocene Human says:

    At any rate, we all know how this will play out. He’ll get acquitted, there will be civil unrest, the usual suspects will show up and there will be marches and counter-marches,

    Seriously? The fuck Cole? Everything you just said here is a massive insult to Black Floridians.

    As if.

    As if Florida college students needed “northern agitators” to organize their own marches.

    As if “unrest” weren’t a code word for cops beating peaceful (but angry) protestors.

    As if Trayvon’s family, who have lead resistance against an unjust law and stacked legal system haven’t already prepared for all possible outcomes.

    Go fuck yourself, Cole.

  170. 170
    Another Halocene Human says:

    @Cassidy: US fucking military families. Apparently driving a Humvee is addictive. Either that or the spouse has to signal to everyone on base how important their officer is with a big car.

  171. 171
    Another Halocene Human says:

    @ruemara: I fear it will be a conviction, but on whatever lesser charges Zimmerman is up on. If he is found guilty on anything major, the sentence will be laughable, particularly if it is compared with others who have been convicted on the same charges. It will injustice cloaked with the thinnest veneer of justice.

    You got it. *steeples fingers* I see you’ve been Black before today.

  172. 172
    Another Halocene Human says:

    @Sawgrass Stan: You know why, Stan. There was a case in Gainesville a few years ago, couple of guys got in an argument after a football game and one pulled a gun. The gun went off, the shooter swore it was accidental. Unlike Zimmerman he wasn’t buds with the cops and hid for a few hours before turning himself in. Shooter was Black, victim, who died, was white. He was convicted of murder 1 and got life in prison. I believe SYG was law but he didn’t attempt an SYG defense.

    Shooter also wasn’t a big fat smarmy liar. Aside from the racial aspects, our legal system seems to favor those who lie and stonewall and deny and punish those who come clean.

  173. 173
    Another Halocene Human says:

    @gbear: If you would have said trailer park, I might have laughed. Housing projects are barred to former felons and drug users (although the majority are privatized and some of the owners ignore stuff and collect the checks, if you know what I mean).

    I know a lot of dumb threats have been made to Zimmerman’s life, but there’s a couple of shitty assumptions wrapped in there–like the notion that housing projects don’t have plenty of white residents (some of whom are just as racist as, well, anyone else), or that people in housing projects are violent (more likely to be victims, imo).

  174. 174
    c u n d gulag says:

    My bets, are Bobo and Douthat.

    After all, they’re “serious” Conservatives…

  175. 175
    lou says:

    Remember, conservative bloggers were actually sympathetic toward Trayvon at first. And then Obama made a comment, and then the floodgates of hysteria opened over Trayvon’s “thuggish” nature. It’s as if Obama made it okay to be racist.
    But Dowd. And Zimmerman won’t be convicted. It is northern Florida. In Florida, the farther north you go, the more redneck it becomes.

  176. 176
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @SatanicPanic: Yeah, kind of a problem, isn’t it? I will not be remotely surprised if Zimmerman is convicted of murder. I will be very surprised if he is completely acquitted.

  177. 177
    sherparick says:

    One of the biggest being Roger Ailes and his whole Fox news crew. It is certainly their primary target audience.

  178. 178
    Mardam says:

    All of them, Katie.

  179. 179
    mick mcDick says:

    piers morgan for sure. he is a giant dick and i want to punch him in the face on general principals.

  180. 180
    Marc says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    Old fashioned racism can explain a lot of things, unfortunately. And this fits, shall we say, a pattern in how she has treated Obama.

  181. 181
    Jethro Troll says:

    And this fits, shall we say, a pattern in how she has treated Obama.
    You mean, like GG?

  182. 182
    Cassidy says:

    @Another Halocene Human: That’s not what I was referring to. Most of the problem is hill country people. I would guess that most military familes drive minivans, at least in my experience, anyway.

  183. 183
    ET says:

    What is interesting is that I get the impression that law enforcement and the general public (not Republicans, racists, and closeted racists – not always the same thing though sometimes) are more inclined to believe Zimmerman is guilty.

    As to your question I am leaning toward Dowd. Mostly cause sometime she likes to play the “contrarian” but still fit on the left side of the political aisle.

  184. 184
    TS says:

    The white side of the equation in Florida is saying the President should NEVER EVER have discussed the situation – and meeting the parents of the drug addicted black kid who was shot because he was violent towards the guy who was just looking after his community – well it’s the President’s fault that this even got to a trial.

    I vote for Chuck Todd

  185. 185
    EconWatcher says:

    I was a criminal defense lawyer earlier in my career. My two cents? If Zimmerman had top-notch defense counsel, he’d probably get off. He doesn”t, so he won’t.

  186. 186
    flukebucket says:

    My guess is that the chances of a conviction for anything are about the same as a conviction for any law enforcement officer that kicks in the door of the wrong house and shoots someone’s grandmother because they assume she may have a couple of ounces of pot and a few sandwich bags. In other words slim to none.

    In fact what Zimmerman did is probably legal in Florida as long as the dead guy is black.

    I was going to go with Derbyshire but since that is not an option I will go with Scarborough. Anytime I as much as hear his voice I feel like I need to take a shower.

  187. 187
    YellowJournalism says:

    Trump on Twitter. Danny Zuker will then slay his ass in another Twitter war.

  188. 188
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Put me down as someone who can’t possibly see a scenario in which Obama is indicted in any way. But then, remember I don’t sit around imagining all the terrible things that can happen to the most incredible President in the history of mankind. You people that do – something is wrong with you.

  189. 189
    Tone in DC says:

    @Cacti:

    That is not comforting.

    I have read that if he is acquitted – that USDOJ could go for a hate crime conviction — it worked in PA to convict a few acquitted racist assholes – including local police.

    I think DoJ has to step in if Florida acquits this trigger happy refugee from a “Die Hard” cattle call. I do not care if Trayvon was suspended/expelled, don’t care that he used to toke, don’t care that he was wearing a hoodie, Walking home (whether at 7:15 or midnight) can’t get anyone killed

  190. 190
    sherparick says:

    A lot of blog love for you today John. Both Brad DeLong (your comment on two Lannister tools who run Tiger Beat on the Potomac) and No More Mister Nice Blog, who says ditto on your Zimmerman trial comment above.

    Juries can surprise, but the NRA/ALEC’s “Stand Your Ground Law” was basically designed to give white folks a “Free, Get Out of Jail Card” for shooting Blacks, Hispanics (or people they thought were Black and/or Hispanic), or the person messing with your wife/girlfriend. http://rt.com/usa/stand-your-g.....lover-097/

  191. 191
    Jay in Oregon says:

    @The Dangerman:
    So, the Hans Reiser option then?

  192. 192
    Ryan says:

    Anyone who says that the impasse in Washington is because Obama is not bring the Big Leadership! will also argue for your position. This means Sunday morning, Chris Matthews, MoJo, and of course, that homeland for the Serious, the WaPo editorial board.

  193. 193

    @c u n d gulag:

    c u n d gulag says:
    June 21, 2013 at 6:18 am

    My bets, are Bobo and Douthat.

    I read this as “My BATS are….”

    And I said, yes, yes, that is hard to argue with.

  194. 194
    Ramalama says:

    I expect I will or won’t be surprised at the outcome. But Florida really is something, isn’t it? I was in the Netherlands in the late 1980s and everyone there was talking about a string of shootings in Florida at tourists. Hard to tell if things are worse? Same as it ever was?

  195. 195
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Wait, what?

  196. 196
    DaddyJ says:

    What I don’t get about the Stand Your Ground law in regards to the Martin case is this: assuming Zimmerman’s claim of Martin rounding on him and knocking him down is factual, wasn’t Martin the one who was “standing his ground” more than Zimmerman? After all, Martin was the one being pursued by a man with a gun.

    Or do you have to have a gun to “stand your ground?” Fists don’t count?

    I think this is the central problem with basing a law on pulp-fiction metaphors.

  197. 197
    Tone in DC says:

    @DaddyJ:

    Putting the locale aside for a moment, I remember Professor Gates’ incident from a few years ago.

    The cops showed up at his house after Gates “broke into” his own place in Cambridge MA, and arrested him for the crime of Talking Back. Amazing what happens sometimes.

  198. 198
    Jebediah says:

    @Narcissus:

    Fill basement with water. Start heating the water. Per Fallows, frog will leave before your basement boils.

  199. 199
    Upper West says:

    @amk: Thanks! The account no. is BAIN-3597X.

  200. 200
    Jebediah says:

    @Narcissus:

    Ok where do I get a princess

    Right here.

  201. 201
    Upper West says:

    @Redshirt: Thanks! (It was inspired by Barry Friedman’s epic Nooners stuff over at Pierce.)

  202. 202
    shortstop says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: There is a significant qualitative difference between issues like, say, droning or NSA spying and the case of a young man getting murdered by someone who thought young black guys = dangerous thugs who have it coming. If you don’t think the president gets directly blamed in the press and among gatherings of ignorant white people for the poor state of race relations, you’ve been asleep since the 2008 campaign. It is way, way, way relevant.

  203. 203
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @shortstop:

    There is a significant qualitative difference between issues like, say, droning or NSA spying and the case of a young man getting murdered by someone who thought young black guys = dangerous thugs who have it coming. If you don’t think the president gets directly blamed in the press and among gatherings of ignorant white people for the poor state of race relations, you’ve been asleep since the 2008 campaign. It is way, way, way relevant.

    We can’t spend our time worrying about the nonsense that ignorant people are going to make up. Rather, this post is mostly the standard Balloon Juice OMGZOBAMASOUNFAIR boilerplate. The only surprise is Zandar isn’t the author of this piece.

  204. 204

    … because there are still racist peckerneck douchebags still running around half the country?

    Absolutely wrong. The entire country still has them running around. Period. Ever driven through the back roads of northern New England?

    FWIW my money is on John Dickerson of CBS.

  205. 205
    Mnemosyne says:

    @DaddyJ:

    What I don’t get about the Stand Your Ground law in regards to the Martin case is this: assuming Zimmerman’s claim of Martin rounding on him and knocking him down is factual, wasn’t Martin the one who was “standing his ground” more than Zimmerman? After all, Martin was the one being pursued by a man with a gun.

    As far as I can tell, Florida’s Stand Your Ground law says that either person in a confrontation can kill the other one and get off scott-free as long as they claim they were in fear for their life at any point. It’s led to some really horrifying decisions, like the guy who brought a gun to his ex-wife’s house, killed her new boyfriend, and then claimed that he was the one who felt threatened. And a judge set him free because he claimed immunity under SYG.

  206. 206

    Or who will say his was a failed Presidency because there are still racist peckerneck douchebags still running around half the country? Maureen Dowd? The Politico? Tapper? Harwood? Cilizza? Noonan? Fournier? Red State? National Review?

    All of them.

    This has been yet another addition of “simple answers to simple questions.”

  207. 207
    shortstop says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: What crap. You get pissed at people for reflexively defending him and you’re currently being knee-jerk in not making distinctions between what people are criticizing him for. No, this ain’t a “both sides do it” comment. I’m saying straight up that Obama is in a no-win situation when race becomes the central point of the discussion, and Rev. Wright, Henry Louis Gates, Eric Holder, Shirley Sherrod and about 50 other examples back that up. That’s what’s being talked about in this particular thread. Your own insistence on lumping it in with other discussions is not actually evidence of anybody else’s frailties of judgment and critical analysis.

  208. 208
    DaddyJ says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    Florida’s Stand Your Ground law says that either person in a confrontation can kill the other one and get off scott-free as long as they claim they were in fear for their life at any point.

    So, again assuming Zimmerman’s version, if Martin had succesfully bashed Zimmerman’s brains out on the sidewalk, Martin could argue acquittal under Stand Your Ground?

    What a fabulous law! Just get in a fight with somebody and you can kill them.

  209. 209
    Cassidy says:

    @DaddyJ: No, because Martin is black. Google “Marissa Alexander”.

  210. 210
    jcm says:

    First “media asshole”: Nancy Grace. She’ll be in the jury room no doubt.

  211. 211
    TenguPhule says:

    Zimmerman commits suicide during the trial, stabs himself in the back several times in his cell.

    Put me down for a five point spread.

  212. 212
    liberal says:

    @DaddyJ:

    What a fabulous law! Just get in a fight with somebody and you can kill them.

    Yes, many of us have been making this point for awhile now: FL has essentially legalized murder.

    What a God-forsaken shithole.

  213. 213
    liberal says:

    @jcm:
    IIRC when the Zimmerman/Martin thing hit bigtime, she wasn’t that sympathetic to Zimmerman, but I might have that wrong.

  214. 214
    liberal says:

    @Tone in DC:
    It clearly can in FL, where they’ve legalized homocide in an effort to increase revenues to the weapons manufacturers.

  215. 215
    karen says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    So because you hate that Obama is still alive or was even born, every black person is guilty until shot dead by a white guy?

  216. 216

    […] wish I were more optimistic than John Cole about the likeliest outcome of George Zimmerman’s trial, but I’m […]

  217. 217
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Shortstop, you pig ignorant slut, I don’t get mad at people reflexively defending Obama. I get sick of the idiots on this site constantly emoting how unfair it all is for the most powerful man on the planet. We can’t have a grown up conversation about him or this administration because his most rabid supporters feel he is a child without motive or agency, pure of heart, unfairly bullied by all the other children. He is a political actor. Full stop.

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