Fetal Fapping Isn’t a Thing That Happens

20130618-062917.jpgJust in case you weren’t aware that reproductive rights and bodily autonomy for women hinges on a male and what he does or doesn’t do with his penis, here’s Texas Republican Congressman Michael Burgess — a former OB/GYN, no less — citing masturbating fetuses as a reason to outlaw virtually all abortions after 20 weeks.

Via Addie Stan at RH Reality Check:

As the House of Representatives gears up for Tuesday’s debate on HR 1797, a bill that would outlaw virtually all abortions 20 weeks post fertilization, Rep. Michael Burgess (R-TX) argued in favor of banning abortions even earlier in pregnancy because, he said, male fetuses that age were already, shall we say, spanking the monkey.

“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” said Burgess, a former OB/GYN. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they could feel pain?”

Just when you thought you’ve heard it all, some dude bro starts talking about male fetuses jerking off, and then your brain starts to cry.

Setting aside that fetuses don’t wank (and that major medical bodies in the U.S. and U.K. have refuted the claim that fetuses feel pain before the third trimester), I find it very interesting that the concern is only for male fetus pleasure. Because women are just brood mares who can’t feel pleasure. Where’s the love for female fetuses? Damn.

Have fun with this one, Juicers.

[via RH Reality Check]






150 replies
  1. 1
    Betty Cracker says:

    “I fap, therefore I am”? Sounds like a plausible slogan for today’s GOP wankers. Jesus God. Where is that meteor already?

  2. 2
    Emma says:

    I read that last night, went into “what the… even…” mode, shut down the laptop and went to read an actual book with actual information in it. I needed a non-damaging form of brain bleach.

  3. 3
    Just One More Canuck says:

    What

    The

    Fuck?

  4. 4
    Aji says:

    @Betty Cracker: Well, duh. For today’s GOP wankers, it’s pure existentialism.

    You can draw a direct line from fapping in utero to “every sperm is sacred,” doncha know.

  5. 5
    Amir Khalid says:

    I don’t remember whether I did, or did not, masturbate while in my mother’s womb. But I think not. Had I known about choking the chicken as early as that, I wouldn’t have waited as (relatively) long* as I did to start doing it out of the womb.

    *How long did I wait? Nunya bidness.

  6. 6
    Joey Maloney says:

    “I fap, therefore I am”?

    If there was internet in the womb, I could believe this.

  7. 7
    shortstop says:

    Speechless. Unusually.

  8. 8
    Todd says:

    Doesn’t matter. Obama is history’s greatest monster for betraying progressives, an democrats his willing accomplices in that betrayal, so they must be electorally punished to reach them a lesson. President in Waiting Saint Doctor Jill Kucinich Stein is ready to answer the call!

  9. 9
    nemesis says:

    Next up for the gop: ovulating women who fail to become impregnated will be jailed. Its what jeebus would want.

  10. 10
    jon says:

    Republican men: still unable to acknowledge, or even locate, the clitoris.

  11. 11
    jon says:

    @nemesis: Jail isn’t the correct term for the… facility they have in mind. And only the white women will attend. For the Homeland!

  12. 12
    maya says:

    If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs.

    If only they could get a hold of a tiny AR-15…. Hey!.I smell a lucrative Texas kickstarter.

  13. 13
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    The “clitoris” is a mysterious organ; unmentioned by the only source of human knowledge, the Holy Bible, it is widely believed by reputable Biblical scholars not to exist. Biblical scientists are of the opinion that the mythical “clitoris” is nothing more that an invention of the liberal media, made up in order to draw women and weak-willed men into the Satanic embrace of women’s rights and communism.

  14. 14
    jon says:

    @nemesis: The Homeland! (Warning: link to something many fans of the first one insist DOES NOT EXIST.)

  15. 15
    Gin & Tonic says:

    Well, obviously the male fetuses get *more* pleasure because they are still uncircumcised.

    /ducks and runs

  16. 16
    Tonybrown74 says:

    Oh, gawd!

    I’ve not had any coffee yet this morning. I am not ready for this shit …

  17. 17
    MomSense says:

    Another day another Republican WTF.

  18. 18
    Suzanne says:

    Is this not the creepiest thing EVAR?

    Like, YUCK.

  19. 19
    balconesfault says:

    How is it that so many doctors seem to be absolute idiots on points of science?

  20. 20
    scav says:

    So moving one’s hand near the crotch area is a clear sign of the attainment of maximal masculion functioning.

  21. 21
    Scott S. says:

    The freak is my Congressman. And he always seemed fairly sensible before, at least as far as Republicans went. Must’ve overdosed on the tea-flavored LSD.

    Do girl fetuses masturbate? Do we need to get them itty-bitty fetus vibrators? Or does that just prove they’re abortable fetus sluts?

    If they’re masturbating inside the womb, doesn’t this make them motherfuckers?

  22. 22
    bill d says:

    There must be a way we can tell the fetuses in the womb how wrong this is. Can we rig the ultrasound wands to deliver teensy eensy bibles as a distraction for them?

  23. 23
    raven says:

    @Tonybrown74: I’m on the prep for a certain “procedure” and it’s coffee and “Popsicle’s Icicles” for me all day!

  24. 24
    bill d says:

    @Scott S.:

    The guy replaced Dick Armey, that will go a long way in making you look non-crazy.

  25. 25
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    Well, obviously the male fetuses get *more* pleasure because they are still uncircumcised.

    @Gin & Tonic: (applause)

    The atom bomb of Internet trolling only fifteen posts in. On topic, even. You are a god among men.

  26. 26
    Aji says:

    @bill d: No, see, you’re missing the point. This will be used as justification for why God actually intended males to masturbate in 3 . . . 2 . . . .

    Only males, of course. ‘Cause, y’know, Eve, that whore, is the one who brought sex and sin upon humanity, and so female masturbation, like all forms of female pleasure and sexual activity, is to be prevented at all costs (except when for the explicit purposes of the male), and failing that, punished severely.

  27. 27
    Punchy says:

    What happens if there’s fraternal twins in the womb and the boy and girl….uh….touch….each other? Can they be arrested for sexual battery upon birth? Can a OB/GYN slap cuffs on them while still in utero?

  28. 28
    cvstoner says:

    Again, Texas. Not a surprise.

  29. 29
    Alex S. says:

    OMG! What if the fetus faps and sperm comes out and what if there are twin babies and one is a girl and the sperm makes it pregnant and there is a baby in the baby???

  30. 30
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    Boys fapping off inside of their mom signaling “I’M ALIVE!”? Yup, sounds exactly like some kind of gooper fantasy.

  31. 31
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    @balconesfault: Because a physician is not necessarily a Doctor.

  32. 32
    Rosalita says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    “I fap, therefore I am”? Sounds like a plausible slogan for today’s GOP wankers. Jesus God. Where is that meteor already?

    you win the thread. lol!!

  33. 33
    gene108 says:

    If fetuses masturbate, why then does masturbation stop when the baby is born?

    New born babies don’t have the coordination to masturbate, let alone remove their own diaper to get at their private bits.

    What horrible trauma has the mother’s vagina caused the fetus to lose so much fine motor coordination, as the fetus passes out of the birth canal?

    How can we improve on the vagina, so the next generation of humans will come into this world with the enough coordination to masturbate at birth?

    Why aren’t scientists working on this vexing problem?

    I’m sure liberals would love a world awash in masturbating infants, who will make themselves infertile before puberty and effectively end the human race faster than gay marriage.

  34. 34
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    @gene108: You (the royal MALE you) are not infected with Original Sin (R) until you leave the womb. Original Sin renders you unable to holy masturbate until you can learn some approximation of it as a teen. The whole reason Eve gave Adam the apple was because he was sitting around all day holy masturbating. She needed some too.

  35. 35
    magurakurin says:

    @jon:

    Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious… service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

  36. 36
  37. 37
    Shakezula says:

    What sort of sick society do we live in where a man can announce he believes fetuses are sexually active and that man is not promptly beaten to death by enraged parents?

  38. 38
    artem1s says:

    @gene108:

    If fetuses masturbate, why then does masturbation stop when the baby is born?

    because of a lack of Vi@gr@, duh! 3, 2, 1…GOPer sponsored bill to provide free boner pills and guns to all male newborns. No Foodstamps, education, or healthcare though because Freedum!

  39. 39
    Todd says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Well, obviously the male fetuses get *more* pleasure because they are still uncircumcised.

    Quite possibly the finest comment on the internet today. Nonetheless, remember that thou art mortal.

  40. 40
    dmsilev says:

    I was unaware that (male) babies were typically born blind and with hairy palms.

  41. 41
    dmsilev says:

    @Alex S.:

    OMG! What if the fetus faps and sperm comes out and what if there are twin babies and one is a girl and the sperm makes it pregnant and there is a baby in the baby???

    It’s babies all the way down.

    ( from this)

  42. 42
    Mike in NC says:

    Please, GOP, do make preventing fetuses from pleasuring themselves the centerpiece of your 2014 platform.

    What else have you got?

  43. 43
    Jerzy Russian says:

    Can’t we ban stupid already? If not an outright ban, then at least make stupid socially unacceptable.

  44. 44

    Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby…. a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs…they feel pleasure

    Doesn’t this qualify this congressman as a pedophile? One must speculate. It would be irresponsible not to….

  45. 45
    Shortstop says:

    I bet we wouldn’t have to look too hard to find examples of this same person criticizing teenage masturbation as immoral and anti-Jesus.

  46. 46
    dmsilev says:

    @Mike in NC:

    Please, GOP, do make preventing fetuses from pleasuring themselves the centerpiece of your 2014 platform.

    Forced implantation of fetal chastity belts! What could possibly go wrong?

  47. 47
    Librarian says:

    They’re just upset that fetuses are naked and not wearing tiny three-piece suits.

  48. 48
    scav says:

    The little spycams installed to surveil any miscarriages by the naughty naughtly slut incubators can be made two-way and provide pay-for-view porn for the xy-occupants. A proof that business-government cooperation can drive down crime and costs at the same time!

  49. 49

    @Punchy:

    What happens if there’s fraternal twins in the womb and the boy and girl….uh….touch….each other?

    That’s going to be hard, what with the placenta in the way and all. Or am I being too literal and factual here.

  50. 50
    Soonergrunt says:

    Wow.

  51. 51
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    @Roger Moore: You’re just forgetting to take into account the awesome power of God.

  52. 52
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Roger Moore: ” Or am I being too literal and factual here.”
    For THIS discussion?

  53. 53
    StringOnAStick says:

    This is just clever base-pandering by this Texas moran. He knows most of the people who voted for him spend all night fapping to skinemax, internet freebies, etc (suitable females being unavailable of course, and too damned scary anyway). Making fetus ‘Merikans into fellow fapping aficionados puts them all in the same tribe, ergo more members of the Dittohood who must be defended at all costs. Freedum!

  54. 54
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    Those masturbating feti are going to grow fetal hair all over their fetal palms. And go fetally blind.

  55. 55
    Vanya says:

    I am confused. In the GOP mind wouldn’t a masturbating fetus be something you actually want to abort? Among the hard right Christians I used to know a fetus that was seen touching its privates could have only been the Anti-Christ, because the idea of one of God’s innocent lambs doing something so unclean would have been simply inconceivable. The GOP is getting soft.

  56. 56
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Now I want to form a band called “The Masturbating Feti.”

  57. 57
    mellowjohn says:

    is that an in utero picture of Jaime and Cersie Lannister you’ve got up there?

  58. 58

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    I still prefer Feedlot Bears.

  59. 59
    currants says:

    @nemesis: Margaret Atwood knew this.

  60. 60
    The Dangerman says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    Boys fapping off inside of their mom signaling “I’M ALIVE!”?

    9 months to get out, the rest of your life trying to get back in.

  61. 61

    How embarassing for the fetus. Not even out of the womb and dad’s making jokes about your ‘batin habits.

  62. 62
    Denali says:

    See, this is why we need the NSA, so we will have proof!

  63. 63
    ThresherK says:

    There’s a line to be drawn from the idea of fapping fetuses to an infant sexualizing breastfeeding.

    I’m taking bets on which Republican draws that line in public first.

  64. 64
    Califlander says:

    @Vanya: The GOP is getting soft.

    I see what you did there.

  65. 65
    Tone in DC says:

    @Tonybrown74:

    I actually have had my caffeine, and I SURE AS SHIT didn’t need to read what this g00per said.

  66. 66
    Narcissus says:

    I wonder what it is like to BE one of these people. I mean we know how weird it looks from the outside. But what are the thought processes like of someone who has not one iota of self awareness.

  67. 67
    Tonybrown74 says:

    There is some serious Oedipal issues with this one.

  68. 68
    amk says:

    @Denali: You brung a new definition of fetal monitor.

  69. 69
    Seanly says:

    My level of hatred for Republican politicians knows no bounds. I keep thinking I will hit Peak Hatred and yet they continue to garner more & more.

  70. 70
    Davis X. Machina says:

    oops

  71. 71
    D58826 says:

    OK, lets try this one on for size. The forced birth crowd wants to have a fetus declared a person from the moment of conception with all the legal rights, and presumably responsibilities, of a born person. Now this wanking male fetus is sharing space with his fetus twin sister, so if he forces himself on her is that fetal rape? Will he be charged with a crime and sent to infant prison once he is born? The number of new crimes is breathtaking. Of course the private prison industry will be more than happy to meet the demand for these new kiddie jails. (sigh)

  72. 72
    Pablo says:

    I was listening to my wife’s belly today (we’re expecting a girl) and I heard a loud buzzing sound….hmmm

  73. 73
    D58826 says:

    @Narcissus: are you talking about the fetus or the GOOPer congress critter?

  74. 74
    Quaker in a Basement says:

    Well there’s your proof. Some folks are just natural born jerkoffs.

  75. 75
    kindness says:

    If a baby Faps in the womb, how do they clean up after themselves?

  76. 76
    Short Bus Bully says:

    This thread is full of BJ WIN, which in some small way helps make up for the supertanker of FAIL unloaded by the Gooper congresscritter from Texas.

    It’s a challenge to start the day this way, but y’all are doing your best to ease the pain.

    Plus there’s nothing that these legislative Chuck Norris’ despise more than mockery.

  77. 77
    Ash Can says:

    I’m old enough to remember a time in this nation when people such as Michael Burgess were ignored, laughed at, ostracized, marginalized, shamed, and quite often shut away and/or medicated — not quoted in the press and sure as hell not elected to fucking Congress. What the fucking hell is the matter with this nation that people like this are put in positions of power, and, once there, not hounded back into obscurity when they behave like this?

  78. 78
    Narcissus says:

    @D58826: Well the GOPer of course. It would be unfair to ask such from a fetus.

  79. 79

    […] Moderate Voice, Althouse, AMERICAblog, Balloon Juice,ECHIDNE OF THE SNAKES, Shakesville, Pharyngula, Little Green Footballs, The Dish and The Raw […]

  80. 80
    Yatsuno says:

    I just…

    Nah. I’m done. One meteor, extra dense please.

  81. 81
    wvng says:

    @Short Bus Bully: Possibly the most BJ WIN evah!

  82. 82
    Crop Dusted says:

    Ann Althouse reads the BJ comment thread. Quotes Betty Cracker #1 in full :)

    http://althouse.blogspot.com/2.....tuses.html

  83. 83
    gene108 says:

    @D58826:

    Now this wanking male fetus is sharing space with his fetus twin sister, so if he forces himself on her is that fetal rape? Will he be charged with a crime and sent to infant prison once he is born? The number of new crimes is breathtaking.

    One of the things implicit in fetal masturbation is the underlying assumption that fetuses and thus infants have some sort of cognition about their actions, which sort of goes in the face of what we’ve come to understand about infants based on the whole of human history.

  84. 84
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @D58826:

    Well, at least the slut in the womb has those natural defenses to prevent the baby in a baby thing, dontcha know.

  85. 85
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @gene108:

    which sort of goes in the face of what we’ve come to understand about infants based on the whole of human history.

    “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”

    “Germans?”

    “Forget it, he’s on a roll…”

  86. 86
    scav says:

    @Yatsuno: Michael Burgess’ head has the basic shape and density down — plus the essential spaceyness (with luck the heading for a fall-iness too, were it not for the TX part). Not enough tonnage, alas!

  87. 87
    Yatsuno says:

    @scav: A black hole from the Large Hadrion Collider would also be acceptable here.

  88. 88
    Wilson Heath says:

    @Vanya:
    Yep. I was pretty sure that it was in Leviticus or some such that the Jebus demands we kill the ‘batin’ fetus. And then we celebrate our holy act with shrimp cocktails and bacon cheeseburgers.

  89. 89
    jayjaybear says:

    @Punchy: Even worse, what if they’re IDENTICAL twins and both boys and they start getting busy in there together?! GAY fetal incest!

  90. 90
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Crop Dusted: Althouse, desperately trying to kill two birds with one stone, and a) remain relevant, and b) turn this fail into something remotely embarrassing for us.

    Two fails for the price of one, that.

  91. 91
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Wilson Heath:

    While wearing poly-cotton blends?

  92. 92
    eric says:

    keep laughing libs…but now i think it is clear where the ghey comes from! little boys too busy touching themselves in the womb to understand just how close they are to the vagina. If only they had functional nervous systems at this point in time to feel pleasure and to make decisions about what to do in the “waiting room” for birth. I am assuming fox news is not on in the uterus

  93. 93
    Yatsuno says:

    @Crop Dusted: I read the comments. Wow. Most of those people couldn’t produce a coherent argument if you gave them a top debate team and a stack of thesaurii.

  94. 94

    […] fetus is capable of masturbation at that point? Yeah…hand me my Amazon gear and put up walls. I despair, I tell you, I despair. (Tho’ the hilarious snarky comments at that post almost make me dare […]

  95. 95
  96. 96
    shortstop says:

    @Soonergrunt: Right! It’s so sex-negative of us normally pan-horny libs to laugh our asses off at a medical doctor who seriously argues that fetuses whack off in utero.

  97. 97
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Crop Dusted:

    The comments on her post are a monument to the intellectual bankruptcy of the forced birthers as they project like the octoplex down at the mall over Memorial Day weekend.

  98. 98
    nastybrutishntall says:

    Should we stone the self-abusing fetus in utero, or abort it first and then stone it to death? The Bible makes me so confused. Help me, Republican Jesus!

  99. 99
    shortstop says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Do any of her students ever comment on her posts? Or are all her commenters still single, middle-aged, white, male wingers who rarely leave the house? I mean, since you’re already looking anyway…

  100. 100
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    Would not the pictures of fetal ‘batin that the good Congressman is referring to be, according to the letter of the law, child porn?

  101. 101
    Yatsuno says:

    The real sad part of all this is he’ll get re-elected handily. Because Jeebus and teh bebehs.

  102. 102
    shortstop says:

    @nastybrutishntall: You, sir or ma’am, have clearly never cracked the Bible. There will be no stoning of fetuses. God will smite the offending creature, at which point its vessel will miscarry. The correct course of action, now being discussed in the more ambitious winger circles, is for her state to require that all miscarriages be reported so these women can be investigated for possible abortion activities.

  103. 103
    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN) says:

    @eric: So, should we call the the money shot?

  104. 104
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Yatsuno:

    What I want to know is where the hell are all these FEMA re-education camps I keep hearing about, and why isn’t every last person who voted for this assclown in one?

    Obama is failing us, again!

  105. 105
    quannlace says:

    Maybe this is all part of the GOP’s previously stated aim to make abortion funny.

  106. 106
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Crop Dusted: Oh dear god. And I would be up to my eyeballs in work today, damn it.

  107. 107
    Yatsuno says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: WORSE THAN BUSH! SOLD US OUT! ELECT NADER/STEIN BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!!!

  108. 108
    Avocat says:

    Great comments, but I guess no one really wants to address the issue the guy raises: whether a fetus at some point in gestation feels pleasure or pain. If a fetus could feel pain at some point, would that be relevant at all to the abortion debate?

  109. 109
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Avocat: Other than addressing that “concern” in the third paragraph of the actual posting?

    Setting aside that fetuses don’t wank (and that major medical bodies in the U.S. and U.K. have refuted the claim that fetuses feel pain before the third trimester), I find it very interesting that the concern is only for male fetus pleasure. Because women are just brood mares who can’t feel pleasure. Where’s the love for female fetuses? Damn.

  110. 110
    Denali says:

    @Quannlace,

    You an on to something there!

  111. 111

    I dunno. Might be counterproductive for the Republicans. Wouldn’t your sensitive type mother-to-be tend be more inclined to terminate a pregnancy if she knew the little dickens was waxing the dolphin in there already…

  112. 112
    Tonybrown74 says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    When one is given so much material …

    Bust out the sewing machines! I sense a fall fashion line coming!

  113. 113
    Avocat says:

    @Soonergrunt: Well I’m all for major medical bodies and the authority they represent–who wants to question that?–but maybe a fetus can feel pain later in gestation. Would that concern anyone?

  114. 114
    Catsy says:

    @Avocat:

    I guess no one really wants to address the issue the guy raises

    BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT. Try again.

  115. 115
    Yatsuno says:

    @Avocat:

    maybe a fetus can feel pain later in gestation. Would that concern anyone?

    No.

  116. 116
    AHH onna Droid says:

    @dmsilev: Dog babies! Ermagerd!

  117. 117
    shortstop says:

    @Avocat: Why do you refuse to talk about fetuses shivering their timbers? What are you trying to hide from?

  118. 118
    Catsy says:

    @Avocat:

    maybe a fetus can feel pain later in gestation. Would that concern anyone?

    Nope, because it’s a complete red herring when it comes to the issue of abortion rights–about 1% of all abortions are performed after that point.

    Your concern is noted, however, and filed in the appropriate drawer.

  119. 119
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Avocat:

    OK, so it’s established foeti don’t feel pain, but you want us to imagine they do.

    You are a prime candidate for retroactive abortion.

  120. 120
    amk says:

    @Avocat: Why can’t we all be civilized and address some whacko nutjob’s spurious claims reasonably, amirite ?

  121. 121
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Avocat:

    If a fetus could feel pain at some point, would that be relevant at all to the abortion debate?

    It could be, but not necessarily in the way you think. If it turned out that fetuses with anencephaly or neural tube defects were in enormous pain because their defect meant that their nerve endings were constantly exposed, would you support aborting those pregnancies rather than forcing those fetuses to be in pain for the full nine months of gestation?

  122. 122
    scav says:

    @amk: With the caveat that “address” mean “agree with” in their GudSpelingBuk. It’s right before the “bipartisan” definition of “see address”.

  123. 123
    Avocat says:

    @Mnemosyne: Seems to me that if a fetus feels pain, we should consider that. Surely a fetus does feel pain at some point in gestation.

  124. 124
    Avocat says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Ha ha, retroactive abortion, that’s good! However it seems logical that a fetus feels pain at some point in gestation, even if late in the term.

  125. 125
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Avocat:

    Just curious, but are you an advocate (no pun intended) of “enhanced interrogation techniques”?

  126. 126
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Avocat:

    Seems to me that if a fetus feels pain, we should consider that. Surely a fetus does feel pain at some point in gestation.

    So you agree that if a fetus with no chance of surviving outside of the womb is also show to be in pain while still in the womb, it’s more humane to abort that fetus than force the pregnancy to continue to term?

  127. 127
    scav says:

    Clearly, if a fetus or human should ever feel pain at any point in its theoretical existence, the self-evident pleasure of two cells rubbing together during gestation is clear evidence of personhood that trumps all consideration of the mere slut incubators interests and rights.

  128. 128
    Avocat says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Just kind of thinking out loud, I would not want anyone to feel pain unless absolutely necessary, but what do I know? Maybe a fetus does not feel anything at any stage of gestation.

  129. 129
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    That’s different, you putz! It’s Jeebus’ will!

  130. 130
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @scav:

    trumps all consideration of the mere slut incubators interests and rights.

    Absolutely. Fuck the slut incubator!

    (do you see what I did there?)

  131. 131
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Avocat:

    The forced birth crowd seems to lose all interest in this new life once it leaves the womb. To the point of defunding Planned Parenthood’s efforts at prenatal care for expectant mothers who have no interest in ending their pregnancy except by giving birth to a healthy child.

  132. 132
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    If a fetus could feel pain at some point, would that be relevant at all to the abortion debate?

    @Avocat: No.

  133. 133

    @Avocat:

    However it seems logical that a fetus feels pain at some point in gestation, even if late in the term.

    Why is that logical? One of the last things to fully develop is the central nervous system. Breathing response is fully suppressed until birth (at any gestational age). And preemies don’t appear to feel pain until about 35 weeks. My daughter was born at 32 weeks and didn’t respond at all to IVs and the like when she was in the NICU. The nurses explained to us that it was normal for preemies that early.

  134. 134
    Avocat says:

    @Forum Transmitted Disease: Well I would think that even those who favor the death penalty would not want the prisoner to feel pain.

  135. 135
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Avocat:

    You would be wrong.

  136. 136
    shortstop says:

    This troll is enjoying a really large lunch.

  137. 137
    greenergood says:

    ‘GAY fetal incest’! Punk band name extraordinaire! And since when are Repugs interested in ‘pleasure’? (Except in the privacy of their dens, downloading the Prorn). Funny how Utah so closely resembles Pakistan: http://www.news.com.au/technol.....5891491204

  138. 138
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    @Avocat: Shove the little blob of shit in a sausage grinder for all I care. In case you haven’t noticed, there’s too many goddamn people on this planet and we’re out of room.

  139. 139
    White Trash Liberal says:

    -incoming sonogram-

    GO AWAY! ‘BATIN!

  140. 140
    scav says:

    @White Trash Liberal: Get those early-term sonograms vibratin’ and the fetalbater will really get human!

  141. 141
    riptyde says:

    The Old Testament says masturbation is a sin punishable by death, so doesn’t this mean we SHOULD abort the fetus if it’s masturbating.

  142. 142
    Yatsuno says:

    @shortstop: Feed the trolls, tuppence a bag…

  143. 143
  144. 144

    via Myrtle C. on my Facebook wall:

    “Boy fetii should not wank in utero. They could get their mothers pregnant and be twins with their own babies.

    *bet nobody thought about that*”

  145. 145
    El Cid says:

    @👽 Martin: Also a big part of science is about learning the difference between what seems logical and what actually appears to be the case.

  146. 146
    Vanya says:

    @riptyde: I’ve always wondered how Christians reconcile the idea of miscarriages with the idea that God wants all feti born. This clears it up – a miscarriage must be God striking down the masturbators in utero.

  147. 147

    Well, sperm wiggle their tails. That’s got to suggest consciousness of thought.

  148. 148
    Tone in DC says:

    @Imani Gandy (ABL):

    OH NOES!!!

  149. 149
    Not a Republican! says:

    Be sure that I am asking the next doctor I go to if they are a Republican!

  150. 150

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. […] fetus is capable of masturbation at that point? Yeah…hand me my Amazon gear and put up walls. I despair, I tell you, I despair. (Tho’ the hilarious snarky comments at that post almost make me dare […]

  2. […] Moderate Voice, Althouse, AMERICAblog, Balloon Juice,ECHIDNE OF THE SNAKES, Shakesville, Pharyngula, Little Green Footballs, The Dish and The Raw […]

Comments are closed.