In the five years of Chuck, this stands out as one of my favorite episodes, when Chuck and Morgan catch Casey eavesdropping on all their conversations:
Morgan: So what’d (Sarah) say?
Chuck: She said… if she were stranded on an island, she would definitely take roast beef!
Morgan: No way!
Chuck: It’s true man! (Shows Casey listening, who rolls his eyes)
That’s when they catch him spying on them:
Chuck: Do you have any idea how violated I feel right now!?!
Casey: You feel violated?!? No, no, no. My ears feel violated, ‘cuz they have to listen to you and that moron Morgan yammering on for four hours about what sandwich you’re gonna take if you’re stranded on a desert island!
Chuck: What are you, nuts? Nobody was talking about sandwiches for four hours, come on!
(Casey hits the play button on his console)
Chuck: (On tape) Think about it: this is a desert island, Morgan. Mayonnaise simply doesn’t fare well in the tropics.
Morgan: Yeah, but define sandwich, ‘cuz technically you could put anything between two slices of bread. For instance, could I bring a Jessica Alba sandwich to said desert island?
Chuck: Well, I suppose-
(Casey stops the recording)
Chuck: Well, I’ll have, you know, I stand by my mayonnaise theory.
Since leakers are apparently worse than Osama/Saddam/Cthulhu combined, I fully expect the Obama admin to not look forward like they did with Mr. Yoo and Mr. Addington and real criminals and instead use every bit of government power to bring Snowden and Greenwald to “justice.” As such, I imagine the emails I’ve been trading with Greenwald the last decade to be fodder for some poor bastard at the NSA or CIA or who knows where. I really hope our deep thoughts on Glenn Close in Damages or our dog rescues stories or my relentless mocking of a certain person’s twitter feed provides them some meaningful info.
? Martin
I wonder if the NSA knows where the mustard went?
Violet
Did you talk about naked mopping?
John Cole
@? Martin: I still have never found that mustard. My working theory is it fell out of the bag on the way to the car or it was in another bag I left at the grocery.
Corner Stone
Cole, I expect you to keep your promise and go to jail before you give me up!
Violet
@John Cole: Tunch knows where it is. Or Rosie. Check with them.
Corner Stone
@? Martin:
Hell yeah. The agents surveilling Cole needed it for their pastrami sammich that day.
Isn’t it obvious? Obama likes fancy mustard!
? Martin
@John Cole: I bet Obama’s FEMA thugs broke in and stole it for use in the death camps.
Corner Stone
And…uh,…where would one please buy a Jessica Albacore sandwich, please?
Violet
I loved that exchange in “Chuck” too, John. I miss that show. Loved it.
different-church-lady
Ah yes.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
@? Martin: That mustard has been duly interrogated.
Trollhattan
Maybe I’ll join Netflix and see this Chuck sometime.
O/T Despite all the chatter about him, I’d never seen or heard Alex Jones before this clip from a Sunday BBC chat show. Am not surprised he’s just a somewhat less decrepit Limbaugh. With that out of the way, here’s a BBC person telling viewers “We have an idiot on the program.” after much yelling by Mr. Jones. Classic.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22832994
Jeremy
If you really believe that the Obama administration going after former Bush people would have produced success, all you have to do is look at the Supreme Court decision which affirmed a lower court ruling that ended a lawsuit against Donald Rumsfeld.
Also a lot of the work by the NSA prevented terrorist plots, but I bet you if some cmassive terrorist attack were to happen then Obama would get torn apart and blamed for not “keeping America safe”. I also think it’s hypocritical that those that cry about “Civil liberties” have nothing to say about police brutality, stop and frisk, and other actions that have gone on in this country for decades
? Martin
Wisdom from my mom:
What do you all think? Did I wait too long to put her in a home?
Suffern ACE
Well at least they’ll have all the metadata of everyone who has ever emailed you asking you to banhammer or demanding embedded comment threads and polls.
the Conster
@? Martin:
That makes as much sense as anything else I can think of, because he’s never gonna be a quarterback.
4tehlulz
@? Martin:
Yeah, definitely.
Spaghetti Lee
@Jeremy:
John’s written about police brutality before, as have other posters.
Trollhattan
@? Martin:
They’re not gonna take her now, trust me on this.
Have already begun heaping shite on my N.E. bro, and it’s just the beginning. (Note to self: check TBogg hourly.)
different-church-lady
@? Martin: Mom is punking you. You should be proud.
Omnes Omnibus
@? Martin: Does your mom hate the Patriots? If so, look at her remark through that filter and it is pretty sharp.
JWL
“I fully expect the Obama admin to not look forward like they did with Mr. Yoo and Mr. Addington and real criminals and instead use every bit of government power to bring Snowden and Greenwald to “justice.”
Correct me if I’m wrong.
But doesn’t that observation make you just another nit-picking Obama disparager, ignorant of the political realities the POTUS faces in dealing with an intractable GOP?
I-know-you-know-what-I-mean by that, because you’ve so often parroted that particular refrain.
pokeyblow
Obama can’t look backward. Because of Max Baucus. That’s what I’ve learned here.
So, I guess all those dead Iraqis can suck on it.
ruemara
Yeah, bring back Chuck. Rest of FP maketh no senseth.
Violet
Apparently the NJ GOP is going full teabagger with their candidate for Senate.
Omnes Omnibus
@ruemara: A Jessica Alba sandwich makes a lot of sense.
different-church-lady
@Omnes Omnibus: At this point I’m thinking maybe Belichick hates the Patriots.
Then again, maybe he’s just looking for his next challenge: “Hmmm… first Moss, then Ochocinco… how can I take this to the next level?”
Corner Stone
@Jeremy:
Arguably, we’ve had two instances of this kind of horribleness imposed on us by a foreign power in the last, oh 100 years or so. Pearl Harbor and 9/11.
Other incidents were not cool but I don’t think I missed a foreign power attacking the US here in some number of decades.
My point being, if I lived my life wondering when we’d all be incinerated then there’s not much point to anything else.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I think I finally get the whole “Cole is just trolling his own blog” thing.
Maybe Tebow is gonna be the Team Chaplain. ETA Also Too: Which Bronco it was who came up with the idea to give him a monk’s tonsure is the greatest hero in the NFL.
nellcote
Funny how Greenwald’s the only one in the kerfuffle that’s actually been caught wiretapping.
Suffern ACE
@the Conster: frankly, I can’t stand the jets. I hope bellicheck (sp) puts him in and Tebow lights their sorry ass excuse for a team up for 29 fourth quarter points.
cat48
Obama won’t touch Glenn, but Snowden’s got real problems if Eli Lake’s article is correct. The CIA has Internal Police & they’ve been after him since he suddenly disappeared in May. He has to be debriefed, etc., b/c he belongs to a real special club. No way that Obama will not prosecute him b/c they’re really in an uproar at the CIA since he exposed the Foreign Program, Prism, per Eli Lake Sounds like it might even be worse than not trying Bush/Cheney as far as Blowback goes. heh.
John O
@? Martin:
That’s a better insight than saying he’s going to be a decent QB, so I’d say leave mom alone for now.
Spaghetti Lee
@? Martin:
HE JUST KNOWS HOW TO WIN
Actually, I’ve never seen anything from Tebow to suggest he’s not a decent guy, it’s the media coverage around him that drives everyone nuts.
ruemara
@Omnes Omnibus: No. I’d like a decent conversation and a partner who eats.
Omnes Omnibus
@ruemara: Okay, sure, an Eva Green sandwich makes more sense.
Odie Hugh Manatee
I would make sure you have clean underwear on for when the Underwear Inspectors come a’visitin’. ;)
John O
Hey, John, as a prominent voice in the blogging community, you’ve been not just monitored, but actually READ every day. It’s too late for you.
We’ll be behind you every step of the way.
the Conster
@efgoldman:
Jumping the shark comes to mind. Kraft is a Jew in New England so it isn’t one of those appease the bible thumping ticket buyers things. Maybe they brought him in to genuflect to the trophies.
joes527
@Jeremy:
That’s true. Going after the little fish will be so much more successful than going after the war criminals would have been.
Dude. I’ll bet you that if the sun rises tomorrow, Obama is going to get shit from some direction over it. There is no policy that will keep the crazies from attacking Obama, so using “Obama would catch hell unless…” as a justification of something is just stupid.
ruemara
@Omnes Omnibus: For you. Just stay away from my Elijah Woods Salad Sammie.
Commenting at Balloon Juice Since 1937
Its been good knowing you.
Roy G.
Also, too, anybody buying fancy mustard should know by now that they have willfully given away their Fourth Amendment rights – for a (tasty) ham sandwich.
Yatsuno
@? Martin: She’s wrong. Think Gronk.
JPL
Shows that I still miss.. Chuck and Friday Night Lights
I’ll weigh in on the Patriots ..wtf, wtf, wtf, wtf, wtf, wtf… really….
Ben Roethlisberger must be laughing his ass off.. .
Omnes Omnibus
@ruemara: Not a problem. Not a problem at all.
Omnes Omnibus
@Roy G.: He never found the mustard. I suppose there is a metaphor in that.
pokeyblow
@joes527: Don’t you know?
If Obama hadn’t given Bush and Cheney get-out-of-jail-free cards, republicans in congress wouldn’t cooperate with him.
burnspbesq
If Greenwald didn’t cover his tracks, and left himself open to a charge of conspiracy or aiding and abetting violations of 18 U.S.C. 641 or 793, then he should go to jail for stupidity. And there’s no First Amendment privilege that allows anyone to be stupid.
Mark B
@Trollhattan: I once met Alex Jones in person. I have a feeling that it’s all an act. How else could a not very bright person become a marketable media commodity. I remember when he was developing his schtick on Cable Access. It’s pretty much the same now as then but he”s a little louder and a lot more unhinged.
Corner Stone
@Roy G.:
But there was a long line at checkout behind me and I didn’t have time to read the entire EULA!
Oh God, what have I done!?
Corner Stone
@pokeyblow:
Not only that, but if he had even hinted he may try to look backward the Republicans would have gone full tilt out of their way to stymie every thing Obama wanted!
It’s true! They would have completely shut the shit down!
burnspbesq
@Violet:
Assuming he gets the nomination, which isn’t as sure a thing as most pundits think, Booker will eat this guy for breakfast and come back for a second order of hash browns.
Corner Stone
@Omnes Omnibus: Sir, I applaud you once more.
Thlayli
*a phone rings in West Virginia*
“Mr. Cole, this is the NSA. The boys in the office are wondering: what do you feed that thing???“
pokeyblow
@Corner Stone: Yeah. Thank goodness Obama had the emotional maturity to resist his innermost desire to do the right thing about war crimes and instead leave them unpunished… nay, rewarded.
Because now we’re benefiting from a congress willing to reward Obama for his outreach.
He is really an amazing negotiator.
Mnemosyne
@Spaghetti Lee:
If you’re defining “decent” as “sheltered Christianist who’s never actually had to deal with reality,” I guess you could stretch the term to cover Tebow. He doesn’t seem to be actively malevolent, except for that “pro-life” commercial he did with his mom.
Davis X. Machina
The Kraft-Belichick-era Pats have always loved themselves a ‘character-issues’ project. Sometimes it’s come up trumps (Randy Moss), sometimes not (Chad Ochocinco), sometimes the jury’s still out (Aqib Talib).
And Tebow has character issues — he needs some, fast. It’s a shame Gronk is in drydock after surgery. He could give the boy some mentoring, say, in Vegas.
Heliopause
Oh fuck, now you’re sending him coded messages. What’s next, eye blinks on your YouTube videos?
Omnes Omnibus
@Corner Stone: That sandwich is mine. Stop eyeing it.
Corner Stone
@Davis X. Machina:
Personally I’m waiting for Tebow to pull the “shoving Brady down the stairs” move the understudy in the movie Showgirls did.
Cacti
@burnspbesq:
Maybe he wants to make himself a martyr.
Other than that, as a member of the bar, surely he must know that his lawyer status would make any federal prosecutor apt to throw the fucking book at him.
Corner Stone
@Omnes Omnibus: Nope.
gogol's wife
@Spaghetti Lee:
50-some posts in a row over the course of days?
Omnes Omnibus
@gogol’s wife: Not all of the posts are Cole’s.
Davis X. Machina
@Cacti: My theory is this is the inevitable result of too many viewings of And Justice for All.
burnspbesq
TBogg wins the Internets for today. From his post on this topic:
Maude
@burnspbesq:
Frank Pallone is running for the US Senate.
MikeJ
Enjoy your prison shower.
Omnes Omnibus
@burnspbesq: You bastard. I recently ate.
lamh35
This story made me smile.
I remember watching About A Boy round the time it came out. In fact, I think I have it on DVD. The before and after pic is both cute and sad, man Hugh Grant has gotten old…lol
Hugh Grant and Nicholas Hoult have impromptu ‘About a Boy’ Reunion
Maude
@Cacti:
He is not in the US. His license has prolly expired. It was NY.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@John O:
With knives. ;p
Omnes Omnibus
@Maude: No reason he couldn’t keep it up to date.
Yatsuno
@Davis X. Machina: Not to make a scene here, but Gronk did offer to take Tebow’s virginity. This might just give that a chance to occur. No I’m not jellin’ why do you ask?
hoppipolla
TBogg is up with his Tebow post.
/cue stampede/
Baud
@gogol’s wife:
Senate passed farm bill today.
Obama is no longer pursuing restrictions on morning after pill.
Feel free to discuss.
Violet
@lamh35: Wait, is the bottom photo the current photo? I think they both look amazingly young. Nicholas Hoult looks like a kid. Love that movie. Perfect role for Hugh Grant.
Cassidy
Tebow’s gonna get that ring and I’m gonna laugh and laugh and laugh.
MomSense
@efgoldman:
I was in a restaurant with my Mom when I saw it go across the screen. I thought I was hallucinating. When I told my Mom she dropped the Fbomb–and that is highly unusual.
burnspbesq
@Maude:
Which is exactly why I said “if” Booker gets the nomination.
MomSense
@lamh35:
I love that movie!
the Conster
@Violet:
No, Nicholas Hoult is all grown up, and when I saw him in A Single Man it was hard to place him. He is the ugly duckling that turned into a swan.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@burnspbesq:
If GG started working with Snowden before he started working for BAH I would think that ol’ Glenn would be in a shitload of trouble if this was planned in advance.
Snowden would just be in deeper shit.
jshooper
Cole has been trading emails with his Man Crush Greenwald for almost a decade?
I’m sure that doesn’t influence your opinion of him or his “work”.
(eyeroll)
I guess next Cole will name drop that he’s been skype chatting with Alex Jones on the weekends.
Suffern ACE
@the Conster: Yep. one of the most beautiful men in the world he is now. So pretty that they had Beast behave rather stupidly during the last X-Men just so that they had an excuse to keep him out of the blue furry makeup as long as possible.
spacewalrus
@cat48: Interesting that they’re treating it as a defection, but you can’t really be surprised given where he chose to run off to.
trollhattan
@Mnemosyne:
Well, WTF with the Philippines circumcision vacation? Dude has more than a few screws loose, and I for one will be happy to join lipreaders the globe over watching Bill
chew outcoach Big Timmeh on the sidelines.YellowJournalism
I miss Chuck. It was like date night for me and Hubby.
guachi
Ironically, I work at the NSA and during lunch i read BJ. So, yeah, NSA is spying on you.
MomSense
@the Conster:
Holy tamales but he is a stunner.
MomSense
@guachi:
Did you see this one?
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dwarf_fortress.png
Yatsuno
@MomSense: I almost thought that picture was a painting. What amazing eyes.
Also I might just be sensitive to this but <a href="http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/story/_/id/9361732/blake-griffin-too-nice-chauncey-billups-los-angeles-clippers"this article seems a bit wink wink nudge nudge to me.
Mnemosyne
@cat48:
Yeah, it’s the whole “running off to China” thing that was raising red flags to me. If he was afraid of being sent to Gitmo, he could have gone to France or New Zealand where they might have been willing to fight extradition on his behalf to prevent that. But running straight to China?
Yatsuno
@Yatsuno: Okay I fucked that up. FYWP.
Ryan C
@Jeremy: point me to any of these legendary hypocrites you just made up. Literally anyone I know who cares about this stuff (even the glibetarians) also cares about stop and frisk, 3 strikes, border searches, war on drugs, and militarization of the police.
Argue against a real person. You don’t get to invent your opponent and then get hysterical about their hypocrisy.
Baud
@Ryan C:
First day on the Internet, eh? Welcome, and enjoy our prodigious offering of cat photos.
Redshirt
The Dark Lord Belichick’s greatest project: Corrupting the football Chosen One.
MWAHAHA.
Also, trick plays.
Davis X. Machina
@Baud:
Seen Tunch? “It’s our offering of prodigious cat photos.”
Baud
@Davis X. Machina:
Yeah, Tunch alone probably takes up a server or two at NSA HQ.
PsiFighter37
Chuck was awesome. That said, the last 2 seasons were very inconsistent, not just on a quality basis but also on a “does this storyline even make sense in the context of the previous plots?” point of view.
Don’t get me wrong – it was great to see Chuck and Sarah make it through to married life. What sucked was the ending (in particular) but also the fact that it lost a lot of the funniness from the first couple seasons. Just like Alias (another spy show, coincidence?), the first 2 seasons were incredibly good…and then a big twist / reset for the 3rd season screwed things up a bit.
Oh, wait. Were you making a serious point here instead of just yammering on about a TV show?
PF37 +3
Bruce S
Any ongoing government program that necessitates the “clearance” of over a half million private contractors isn’t “top secret.” The notion of “secrecy” at that level of disclosure is idiotic. The government had damned well better get used to the same thing the rest of us who aren’t naive already knew – there are no secrets when it comes to Big Data networks.
Baud
@Bruce S:
Did you get that from Rachel just now? I don’t think that’s right. Just because you have a Secret or Top Secret clearance doesn’t mean you have access to every secret or top secret piece of information anywhere in the government. Happy to be corrected, but I think she was confusing the two.
Bruce S
@burnspbesq:
That’s just wrong. Should come with instructions on how you get the thought out of your head.
Yatsuno
@PsiFighter37: Mon Dieu. I actually think you might be able to outdrink me. DO YOU REALISE WHAT KIND OF AN OMISSION THAT IS???
Cacti
@Maude:
Law licenses don’t really expire. He may be on inactive status.
Bruce S
@Baud:
I know they don’t have access to every “top secret” – but if in fact this particular program necessitates a half-million private contractors to be cleared for the “top secrets” involved in just this program, the notion of “secrecy” is totally idiotic. First of all, anything a half-million people know about in detail isn’t “secret.” Second, even if some bureaucatically mind-bent genius imagines that a half-million people working on something is “secret”, unless it’s something no one could possibly care about or consider controversial, how the fuck long is this alleged “secret” not going to get it’s “deep cover” blown completely and intentionally? I’m worried that the NSA, et. al. are just fucking stupid if they are actually invested in the notion that “nobody knows.” Also I believe it’s likely that opportunities for government contracts are driving strategies for these programs, which is also worrisome. Look at the background of this kid, for starters. If he’s cleared for “top secret” it confirms my notion that this whole frame of reference is a joke.
Also, I thought this entire thing had been disclosed years ago. I thought I already knew about it? There was major discussion regarding bringing it under FISA oversight, as lame as we also already knew that was because of extensive disclosures. Also, if I hadn’t already read about this in the papers over the years, I would assume the CIA or NSA or some acronym yet to be disclosed was doing it. You’d have to be an idiot not to believe that. Certainly, you’d have to be an idiot if you were involved in clandestine terrorist activities.
PsiFighter37
@Yatsuno: When you spell realize with an ‘s’, you don’t deserve to be taken seriously!
Bruce S
If the authorities want to keep shit like this secret, the whole operation has to be handed over to a couple of guys sworn to kill each other if there’s disclosure, working with an army of robot AI overlords. Now that’s a program that actually has a chance of staying “secret” – at least until the movie script I’m working on gets produced.
Yatsuno
@PsiFighter37: Congratualtions. You just single-handedly irritated our entire Commonwealth blogging contingent. Expect an invading army from Nova Scotia any second.
Bruce S
@Baud:
I think you’re right – the half million private contractors is an aggregate number. My guess is, however, that any program of this scale would necessitate thousands, if not tens of thousands, of technicians and analysts. (Also, at least some people working for the internet companies involved would have to know.) Hard to imagine how it could be effective without a massive number of people looking at results of data sorts in some detail to make decisions about what to track further. I just don’t think you can run large scale operations over years and assume they are secret in any meaningful sense. Also, this particular program had been discussed to death – only issue I was aware of was the authority of FISA courts, which everyone also knows are rubber stamps. Despite the confusion about numbers, the whole thing is still ridiculous from the secrecy standpoint IMHO.
Burnspbesq
@Bruce S:
I’m just the messenger. I’m sure if you ask nicely, the NSA will give you TBogg’s mailing address so you can send him a token of your gratitude.
Burnspbesq
@Yatsuno:
Led by General Samkitten, I assume.
? Martin
@Omnes Omnibus: She’s a HUGE Patriots fan, thus my concern.
MomSense
@Yatsuno:
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge alright. Are they talking about basketball or something else?