We are all Megan McArdle now

An actual Google Voice transcript of a voicemail I received:

Hello, this is the General Electric Library Service. I have a delivery of the gastritis for error 2. Street and Rochester, New York scheduled for delivery on Monday between 9 and one of the driver will call about a half an hour before there. 5.

43 replies
  1. 1
    dexwood. says:

    Not me. speak for yourself…
    Just kidding. Damn. Need to run.

  2. 2
    ruemara says:

    No, not me. Never.

  3. 3
    Mnemosyne says:

    So the driver is coming to give you gastritis, or a driver with gastritis is coming to deliver something else?

  4. 4
    PsiFighter37 says:

    Clearly all the NSA hacking is screwing up the way phone calls are getting directed.


  5. 5
    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q) says:

    I will never be that tall. And please, I beseech the universe, never that clueless.

  6. 6
    NickT says:

    Could “Megan McArdle” have been DougJ’s masterpiece of trollery? Is this the master’s indirect confession?

  7. 7
    Maude says:

    AND this PROVES it.

  8. 8
    Yatsuno says:

    What the hell are you insane people doing?

  9. 9
    Scotius says:

    Like Megan McArdle would ever be that clear and easy to understand.

  10. 10
    Cheap Jim says:

    No, voice recognition will improve. McArdle is trapped in the form of whatever she is now.

  11. 11
    NickT says:

    Speaking of an attempted gastritis delivery:


    Shannon Richardson, a Texas-based actress who has had small parts in movies and television shows including “The Walking Dead” and “The Vampire Diaries,” was charged Friday for allegedly mailing a threatening letter to President Barack Obama. She was not charged in connection with the ricin found on the Obama letter or the two other ricin-tainted letters she allegedly mailed to New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Mark Glaze, the director of Bloomberg’s Mayors Against Illegal Guns group.

    It’s quite a story.

    According to the affidavit, further analysis of the computers in the Richardsons’ home revealed online orders for castor beans and other materials used to make ricin. Spiropoulos said analysts also found files titled “Obama.docx” and “muslimbastard.docx” were saved onto a storage device from the “pink Dell laptop that both Shannon and Nathaniel Richardson acknowledge belongs to and is used exclusively by Shannon Richardson.” Investigators also allegedly determined attempts were made to print those files on the day the ricin-laced letters were postmarked and that Nathaniel Richardson was at work during this time. Spiropoulos said those two documents and another one, which was entitled “guns.docx” were later found on the SD card that was in the box with the castor beans and syringes.

    It all goes to show, you just can’t trust people with pink Dell laptops.

  12. 12

    Especially for you. Stupid pop culture comparisons. A tortured comparison of Rajat Gupta and Rajrathnam to the characters in Great Gatsby.
    Warning: Huffpost Link

  13. 13
    PsiFighter37 says:


    PF37 +4 and does not like the taste of NOTHINGBURGERS unless they are slathered with BBQ sauce

  14. 14
    BGinCHI says:

    Do you all think if Mark Zuckerberg was hanged in public this info sharing by corporations would stop?

    I mean, worth a try right?

  15. 15
    NickT says:


    Our Nothingburgers are made from prime cuts of Ted and Hellen with a little ground pokeyblow for extra flavor. Customers who are habitual users of logic and evidence may experience a severe allergic reaction to the food and should not partake.

  16. 16
    BGinCHI says:

    @NickT: You’re gonna need a bigger bun.

  17. 17
    NickT says:


    But it’s just a little pair of weiners….

  18. 18
    Suffern ACE says:

    GE gastritis is overpriced and way to complicated to have much utility beyond taking up space.

  19. 19
    fuckwit says:

    “Gastritis broke my calculator” needs to be a tag, and too bad if Cole doesn’t like it.

    I love what Google voice does to my VM’s. It makes otherwise mundane messages into hilarous spews of surreall dada-ist randomness.

    I’ve saved a bunch of them intending to put them up on a website somewhere.

  20. 20
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    Error 2 isn’t here, man.

  21. 21
    Baud says:

    I hope you bought the extended warranty.

  22. 22
    Scotius says:

    Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

  23. 23
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @BGinCHI: Throw in the Parker dude and it might work.

    ETA: Not parkour, ’cause that’s cool.

  24. 24
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    My Google Voice transcribed messages are hilarious. Especially those from my wife who has a slight accent. I read them to our guests: the kid, her bf and one of our friends, before Thanksgiving dinner. A find time had by all(even the wife thought it funny).

  25. 25
    gbear says:

    Oh oh.

    Did DougJ or John see that Little Green Footballs has a post comparing Glenn Greenwald to Glenn Beck?? I think we need a post about this on BJ! Toot Sweet!

  26. 26

    @gbear: I predict more than 500 comments on such a post when it appears.

  27. 27
    gbear says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: 400 of which will be from 5 people.

  28. 28
    Cacti says:


    Did DougJ or John see that Little Green Footballs has a post comparing Glenn Greenwald to Glenn Beck?? I think we need a post about this on BJ! Toot Sweet!

    In honor of yesterday’s Huffpo photo, I give you…

    Glenn Beckwald

  29. 29
    Baud says:


    And now that will haunt my dreams…

    Thanks, Cacti.

  30. 30
    gbear says:

    LOL. Gawd, that’s ugly.

  31. 31
    Redshirt says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: Only if Sully is also somehow involved.

  32. 32
    TooManyJens says:

    @NickT: It’s the “muslimbastard.docx” that makes it art.

  33. 33
    Suffern ACE says:

    @gbear: not really the same. GB is generalized crazy. GG is specific. GG is more like Peter Schiff on fiat currency collapse or Benjamin Netanyahu on the need to bomb Iran before it is too late.

  34. 34

    @TooManyJens: He is on some new “reform conservatism” schtick. His blog has become quite unreadable, off late.

  35. 35
    gbear says:


    those two documents and another one, which was entitled “guns.docx” were later found on the SD card that was in the box with the castor beans and syringes.

    Terrorism:Ur doing it wrong. Someday her boyfriend is going to look back on this and laugh. Maybe he already is…

  36. 36
    NickT says:


    He’s currently her husband, although I wouldn’t put too, too much cash on their marriage lasting very much longer.

  37. 37
    Yatsuno says:

    @gbear: Special Timmeh would be fapping all night.

  38. 38
    scav says:

    All the best pink Himalayan Salt is stored in suspicious tupperware.

  39. 39
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Yatsuno: Ew.

  40. 40
    Citizen_X says:

    Well, in the words of another robot, “That’ll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!”

  41. 41
    greylocks says:

    They don’t call it “wreck a nice speech” for nothing.

  42. 42
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:


    GG is seeing black helicopters with huge wireless antennas that are shaped like vacuum cleaner nozzles that are sucking up privacy and dumping it all into a huge black bag full o’stuff. I’m not buying the Powerpoint as something that is legit and others are beginning to question its authenticity. GG can’t back off of this because it would make him look like a fool, so it’s full throttle for him.

    OK, it would make him look like a bigger fool.

  43. 43
    joes527 says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA: You read your wife’s messages to her boyfriend?

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