Stories like this are sure to put a dent in Obama’s approval rating:
While our consulate in Benghazi was attacked during the night of September 11 of last year, our fearless leader was allegedly hiding away somewhere getting “high as a kite” on cocaine. This is the speculation of Kevin DuJan, a self-described “gay conservative political analyst” writing for a publication called HillBuzz. DuJan states that his claim, which he appears to make based on knowledge and experience of drug addicts, explains the president being missing for most of the evening during the attack on Benghazi.
Keep fucking that chicken, wingtards.
pat
I think I commented in a previous thread that this sounds suspiciously like something from The Onion.
But I bet it ends up in many a right-wing email chain.
Gin & Tonic
@pat: Or from the Toronto Globe and Mail.
Comrade Jake
It’ll be on Drudge before sunrise.
JPL
Doug only posted this to step on the John’s post.
Mr. Longform
As an expert on the way people act when they are out of my presence for most of an evening, I think he was also probably snorting that coke off of the naked breasts of a pregnant nun, probably.
Citizen_X
I’ll bet.
SenyorDave
If Obama was doing coke during Benghazi, what was Bush doing on 9/11?
ArchPundit
No, that’s pure Hillbuzz. Crazy right wing conspiracies from people who think Barack Obama is gay because, well he kisses like Rock Hudson or something.
It’s hard to believe there are still Deadenders for Hillary.
Sly
Oh, Kevin DuJan and HillBuzz. That takes me back. Say what you will about the 2008 Democratic Primaries, but it certainly served to separate the wheat from the chaff.
I bet the coke snorting happened during a three-way with Larry Sinclair and Reggie Love, and afterwards they watched the Whitey Tape while Bill Ayers was ghostwriting Obama’s Presidential memoirs and Jeremiah Wright was simultaneously selling a white girl into sex slavery and pissing on an American flag.
Yatsuno
Psst, DuJan, yer infringing on Larry Sinclair’s copyright here dude. Yer gonna get a cease and desist letter any day now.
Violet
In my experience anyone who calls themselves a gay conservative has to be jacked up on something. No sober person would.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
We need to spread this around to as many conservative sites as possible – let’s get them screaming about “Cocaine-Gate” and looking like bigger dicks than normal.
Their argument will basically be “It’s believable because everyone knows, you know, THOSE people are always addicts”.
Joseph Nobles
Who do you think was holding the camera that recorded Rob Ford smoking crack? Obama.
ArchPundit
@Yatsuno:
Check out the When Barry Met Larry poster on his site.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
@SenyorDave:
If Obama was doing coke during Benghazi, what was Bush doing on 9/11?
Dick Chaney, with the Constitution used as a strap-on.
Hey, in my experience as a political slash junkie, it’s LIKELY to be true…
jrg
Good lord. How do you spoof that?
ChrisNYC
This Obama and coke thing is so great for its cluelessness. I still remember, summer of 08, interview with the Obama family at a fair in Iowa (?). Sasha said, “Everyone loves ice cream! … ‘cept Daiddy.” Then Obama was on the spot — NOT normal, not liking ICE CREAM, outed by adorable daughter. He offered up, so pitifully, “I’m not a big desserts guy. I do like sweet potato pie. And pumpkin pie.” The man likes the vegetable-based pies (sweet, I know, but still, that’s as far as he can go). He’s like Mr. Abstemious.
Roxy
@Phoenician in a time of Romans:
Ewwwwwwww now I understand the need for brain bleach.
Irish Steel
It’s no Fucksaw but pretty good tag there, DougMJ.
Yatsuno
@ArchPundit: Uhh…I wanna holdonto my dinner thankyewverymuch.
jon
I like that much of his theory in founded on the fact that Las Vegas doesn’t have many unseemly outlets for straight men to engage in sexual liaisons that don’t involve other men.
My theory that says I will know the winning lottery numbers for next Saturday’s Powerball hinges on the fact that Nashville lacks any country music venues.
Expert analysis there, bro.
burnspbesq
I realize the President is a public figure for libel law purposes, but that doesn’t mean all bets are off. A public figure can still recover if he/she can show that the defendant acted with reckless disregard for the truth.
Obama should hire private counsel and fuck this guy’s shit up good and proper.
Anya
My definition of publication must be a bit rusty.
Yatsuno
@burnspbesq: Ohhh that will set the wingnuts off to no end! FIRST AMENDMENT! CHICAGO POLITICS! WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(And the Secret Service never sees their families again from the 24/7 threat investigations.)
Southern Beale
Y’know, funny you should mention this. I was just on iTunes looking for an audiobook (I like to listen to audiobooks when I’m doing housework and at the gym). And I saw there was already a book out called “Benghazi: The Definitive Report.” Supposedly written by “a team of Special Operations warriors.” SOFREP is also listed as the publisher. I’ve never heard of SOFREP but they look like your typical wingnut propaganda outfit.
Anyway, there’s a sea of wingnuttia out there in the publishing world providing an endless deluge of right wing propaganda. I know, there’s a whole infrastructure in place, financed by GOP sugar daddies and fleecing the rubes. It’s a big cash cow. But we on the left don’t seem to have anything like it. Not sure we want to, either. Just saying.
Higgs Boson's Mate
You’d have to pretty high yourself to accuse a man as thoroughly watched as Obama of getting coked to the gills. You would have to be OD’d on stupid pills to think that anyone not a lunatic would believe you.
Lyrebird
I’m pretty out of the loop on Northern Virginia politics, but I’ll still hazard a guess that the more they flog the Bengh.-gate stuff, the more they’ll push away conservative voters who work for State or in Langley, plus family members of same… People who know that sometimes memos get changed and that sometimes intelligence doesn’t get announced in a press conference, bc other people who aren’t dead yet would like to stay that way…
dance around in your bones
Jeezus, how fucking high do you have to be to come up with a theory like this? It’s like those coke-heads who call the cops on themselves because they see people in the bushes.
Pathetic.
Comrade Jake
@burnspbesq: hey, nice work calling the Duke LAX game the other night. Was dicey for awhile there though!
Mnemosyne
@jon:
To be fair, that’s probably what all of the “straight” married guys who picked him up for a quickie rendezvous in Vegas told him.
I mean, Jaysus, I’m a repressed married woman and even I have heard of the freakin’ Spearmint Rhino.
Petorado
I’m betting that Kevin DuJan is actually Andrew Sullivan’s alter ago trolling the web. What other gay conservative analyst would pay hommage to Doug J by using the nome de plume DuJan?
Alison
I’m trying to decide if it’s better or worse to think the President is a coke-head than to think he’s just an idiot, like that earlier piece.
Also these people need hobbies. Can we send them some sudoku books or something?
Southern Beale
@pat:
Yup, like this one about an Oklahoma teacher who was supposedly fired for praying during the tornado. It first appeared in the Palookaville Post, a parody site. Figures some palookas didn’t get the joke.
Omnes Omnibus
@Mnemosyne:
I have to confess that I had not.
ETA: I haven’t been to Vegas since I was 4 in 1969.
Buffalo Rude
Isn’t the author of that made-for-The-Onion article the “Unskewed Polls” guy?
Buffalo Rude
Isn’t the author of that made-for-The-Onion article the “Unskewed Polls” guy?
Gex
@Alison: Yes. Let’s send them a one by one square and see if they can get the number one in it so that it adds to one in every direction. They’ll be stumped.
Comrade Jake
@Omnes Omnibus: the only reason I’d heard of it is because somebody in my fantasy football league decided to name their team The Spearmint Rhinos.
Southern Beale
@Buffalo Rude:
I thought that was Dean Chambers.
Omnes Omnibus
@Comrade Jake: Well, it is always good to learn something new every day.
jon
@Mnemosyne: I can’t deny the many undertones of “If it happens in Vegas, it stays in Vegas”, but even with an increased likelihood of… experimentation, there are still enough options in Vegas for a straight guy to get very very outside the box without having to involve other men. Maybe he was just gambling? Addictive personality and all….
El Tiburon
It would be wrong not to speculate that Obama was snorting the yayo.
Bill “I did not have sex with that woman” Clinton and Anthony “that ain’t my ” Weiner also too denied their transgressions.
Of course you Obamabots wouldn’t believe Barry “where the white women” Obambi was snorting the White Princess if he was cutting lines using your babysitter’s credit card on your toddlers Lego table while your frustrated wives were giving him a reach around.
Good day sirs. I said good day.
The Dangerman
He couldn’t have been doing cocaine; it’s against Sharia law.
Suffern ACE is a Basset Hound
The president couldn’t be found because he was setting up the new printer he bought Malia and Sasha the previous Christmas and didn’t want anyone to know he couldn’t get it to work. I am only able to theorize this based on my experience with new devices that I have purchased after the sales clerk assured me that all I needed to do was turn it on and it would be good to go.
Omnes Omnibus
@El Tiburon: I am not sure you used “reach around” properly.
Mnemosyne
@Omnes Omnibus:
Trust me, you can’t walk 10 feet on a sidewalk in Vegas without someone handing you a card for a strip club or “escort” service that has a picture of at least one topless woman on it. Someone I know was getting ready to punch one of the guys out because the shill kept handing the cards to little kids.
magurakurin
@El Tiburon:
wow. I suppose some will take this as snark, but anyone who knows your history will just say…wow.
NickT
My unfortunately extensive knowledge of Kevin DuJan began when I encountered him while executing a search warrant on a supposedly exclusive Toronto brothel owned by Robert Ford. Mr DuJan was in a naked condition, snorting large amounts of a white powder from between the naked buttocks of a Mr Jerome Corsi……
Ripley
“Also these people need hobbies. Can we send them some sudoku books or something?”
How about a seppuku book instead? A how-to manual, preferably.
Omnes Omnibus
@Mnemosyne: Oh, I believe you. Despite that, Vegas still holds little appeal for me.
magurakurin
@Omnes Omnibus:
so my wife is fucking Obama in the ass with a strap-on and jacking him off while doing it?
wow. Come on, come on down Sweet Virginia….
NickT
@Ripley:
“Self-castration for the modest Burkean exceptionalist”.
belieber
Speaking of scraping the bottom of the barrel…Doug of the BJ Dougs continues his quest for the holy shiny object grail.
Why not just start reacting to neonazi websites if you are that desperate for content.
Omnes Omnibus
@magurakurin:
Don’t ruin that song for me.
magurakurin
@Omnes Omnibus:
I know you got it in ya….
Suffern ACE is a Basset Hound
I know she’s not running yet, but perhaps someone should tell the folks over at hillbuzz that if she does run, it would probably be best for them to fling poo at candidates who might run against her. I mean its like having a web site devoted to Romney dirt or Gary Hart gossip.
NickT
@magurakurin:
You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar…
Keith
@ArchPundit: Ever notice that whenever right-wingers like this write an article, they absolutely must qualify entities some pejorative at nearly every mention. Take, for example, this guy’s mentioned of “media”. There’s a single instance where it’s just “media”. Then there’s about 10 mentions of “the agenda-driven media” and another of “the corrupt media”. It reminds me of high school-level writing where the author has to pad every noun with an adjective because he thinks it makes it sound more advanced since he thinks he’s an adult now. Then he hits college, and the prof starts marking up his paper for going too heavy on the adjectives without making any actual point.
j
@Sly: WOW!
Speaking of Hillbuzz; I was a lurker for about a year until I had a “run in” with this creature named “Connie”.
I couldn’t believe she was spamming this site with her ALL CAPS!!!!!!! AND EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!! posts here too.
She was on the DNC site, Crooks & Liars, and a bunch of others, spreading her Larry Sinclair and “Obama’s kill list” tripe.
I wonder what ever happened to her?
She used to “warn” everybody that if Obama got elected she would have her friends “do another Jasper” and some other things.
She was just your basic racist Texas racist piece of shit.
She wanted to deal with me personally through emails (she asked a mutual party to send me her email address) but I don’t deal with assholes, so I never replied to her “offer”.
What a racist bitch she was, and I can’t believe she worked in a hospital.
Does anybody else remember her?
magurakurin
@NickT:
cops and cars and topless bars…never seen a woman so alone..
NickT
@magurakurin:
Mr. Mojo Risin’, Mr. Mojo Risin’
Got to keep on risin’
eric
You libs will defend your Barry to the death. Yet we all know he has had a habit since his days in Indonesia where drugs are the way of life. It makes you wonder where all the men are in Barry’s life….gone from drugs no doubt.
Kay
@Suffern ACE is a Basset Hound:
They can’t do that, can they? Can they switch gears if Hillary runs?
I just think at some point they went too far to come back. I guess they could pull down 7 years of crazy and just start fresh, but can that happen overnight?
They may have to gradually transition.
eric
@j: i think what happened to her speaks to the truth she spoke to o-power.
magurakurin
@NickT:
music is your only friend
MaryRC
Dujan is a disgusting little toad who’s been kicking this horse to death for years. He’s a liar who lost most of his readership a couple of years ago when they discovered that the “friends” of Dujan’s for whom they’d dropped donations into PayPal to attend a teabagger rally existed only in Dujan’s imagination. It’s hard to tell if he’s actually as stupid as he seems or if he is just lowering himself to the level of his remaining followers, but his meltdown on election night has become a classic. Reliving-election-night-through-the-eyes-of-a-wingnut
magurakurin
@eric:
fuck. Poe’s Law is just kicking my ass this AM
Kay
@MaryRC:
It really is wonderful. I wish I had read it as it occurred.
eric
@magurakurin: I think I am going to start posting as The Poe-man.
max
DuJan
Shorter HillBuzz: Drag queen says Obama must have been jacked up on coke during BENGHAZI! because that’s totally what drag queens do during embassy attacks.
max
[‘And then they sing several rousing rounds of ‘It’s Raining Jihadis!”]
j
@burnspbesq: And Reggie Love, for his skin.
magurakurin
@eric:
hahaha nice one
damn, I need a life…anyone have one for sale? Maybe McLaren will sell me hers, never a dull moment there…
Bruce S
Please don’t post or link to this shit – this is nothing but click bait:
Wiki – “(Examiner.com writers) are paid based on a black box system, which quantifies page views and other metrics, or the “Gawker-model” made famous by the blog Gawker.com. During 2009, many of the writers were receiving one penny per page view… Examiner.com now bases compensation on variables such as subscriptions, page view traffic and session length.”
ChrisNYC
I went to Hillbuzz to see if they’re still for Hill. Unclear, on account of each post being soooo long. The theme of each is “today in history.” ?? Oprah features prominently in the mind over there (because black and uppity?). And Rock Hudson. ? One paragraph that flashed by starts, “The studio system in Hollywood…” Hahahaha.
Anyway, confirmed that Larry Johnson now hates Hillary. Because Benghazi.
magurakurin
@ChrisNYC:
pretty sure I don’t want to buy your life…but you’re a stronger man than me, I’ll freely admit that.
ChrisNYC
@magurakurin: Last time I went it was when something happened and Palin wasn’t running. So weird. They thought it was some kind of super secret double cross — like she was expertly playing all her imagined cowering enemies and then would get in on November 1 and landslide. Just completely nuts. I like the really crazy internet sometimes. Diverse country we live in.
MikeJ
@j:
I like the work Jasper Johns, but I’m guessing this isn’t that.
Punchy
Blackhawks fo the win, yo! Suck.On.That, Detroit.
magurakurin
@ChrisNYC:
you are also more tactful than me. That is some supper nutty stuff though, I sort of see the appeal of checking it out. It must come with a deep sense of awe and wonderment that tempers the sheer disgust.
SatanicPanic
Hey if Rob Ford can get away with it
Redshirt
Party unity, my ass. Pass the fucking coke!
Emma
@Phoenician in a time of Romans: Did I bloody need that visual?
eemom
@j:
Still posts here under the name Corner Stone.
lojasmo
@eric: lol at hiltards
BillySunday
Well, I guess I wasn’t the only one packing my beak the night Benghazi went down.
Roxy
I couldn’t resist:
If you wanna hang out you’ve got to take her out, cocaine
If you wanna get down, down on the ground, cocaine
She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie, cocaine
If you got bad news, you wanna kick them blues, cocaine
When your day is done and you wanna run, cocaine
She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie, cocaine
If your thing is gone and you wanna ride on, cocaine
Don’t forget this fact, you can’t get it back, cocaine
She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie, cocaine
She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie, cocaine
lojasmo
@eemom: @hilltard:
LOL. Explains errrything.
Moran.
burnspbesq
@Comrade Jake:
Yes, it was. I was in a pretty foul mood at 0-5. But Syracuse has been bad on faceoffs all year, and once Brendan Fowler got in a groove, we were able to (as ESPN color man Quint Kessenich likes to say) “buy one, get one free.” Senior leadership is a great thing to have in college sports, and Jake Tripucka, Dave Lawson, Josh Offit, and Billy Conners really got it done.
Roger Moore
@magurakurin:
How much would she have to pay you to take it off her hands?
YellowJournalism
@magurakurin:
For that one, you’ll need to check the “Strange Oddities” section of the BJ Gift Shop.
MaryRC
@Kay: I don’t know which part I like best: the image of the dead souls, saints and angels coming down to earth to vote for Romney (wait, dead people voting? Wouldn’t that be voter fraud?) or the exhortations to “Cleveland, city of light, city of magic”.
Death Panel Truck
@Roxy: You can catch on fire, be just like Richard Pryor, cocaine.
Tone In DC
I t takes some serious debilitation to make Drudge look good. Dujan somehow accomplishes this.
Tonybrown74
@El Tiburon:
You are the same individual who actually contrasted President Obama to to President Bartlett.
I don’t have the fancy letters after my name to even begin to diagnose the special kind of pathology you have to be suffering with to make that comparison.
Who here is even taking anything you say seriously?
Catsy
@El Tiburon:
Of course not. Any Lego enthusiast knows that Lego tables are covered with a grid of “studs”–the little 5mm diameter raised bumps that allow one Lego part to connect to another. Only an idiot would think you could cut lines of coke on a surface like that.
SFAW
@Southern Beale:
Yes. That’s who/what “wrote” the examiner “article.”. He/it was approvingly quoting DuJan’s magnum opus.
.
.
What was good fun was “Dean the Dream” calling ANYONE else “low information,” in his whiny response(s) to commenters.
And I second Ripley’s seppuku recommendation. (Beat me to it, you SOB.)
SFAW
@Catsy:
Hey! No need to talk about Chambers’s “shortcomings” here. But my condolences that you actually know about his manly “package.”
SFAW
@ChrisNYC:
Gonna be tough for him to pitch a Hillary “Whitey Tape,” however.
Tonal (visible) Crow
You know who else fucked chickens so much that “Chickenscrewer” was one of his nicknames?
SFAW
@Tonal (visible) Crow:
Trick question!
They all did! (All wingtards, that is.)
Phoenician in a time of Romans
@Southern Beale:
Anyway, there’s a sea of wingnuttia out there in the publishing world providing an endless deluge of right wing propaganda. I know, there’s a whole infrastructure in place, financed by GOP sugar daddies and fleecing the rubes. It’s a big cash cow. But we on the left don’t seem to have anything like it. Not sure we want to, either. Just saying.
That’s because the facts tend to support the left. In the absence of facts, you have to spew enough propaganda to wrap your ‘base’ in a comforting cocoon of warm bullshit.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
@Emma:
@Phoenician in a time of Romans: Did I bloody need that visual?
Need, no – but you’re not going to forget it either.
I’m like the “It’s a Small World After All” of visuals, baby.