One Of Us

Or, well, me:

Love it. I seriously thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for saving that sweet woman and her child.

Why does Wolf Blitzer have a job again?






155 replies
  1. 1
    catclub says:

    Go Spurs, Go!

  2. 2
    dewzke says:

    Thanks for posting this. This tool pissed me off today so many times.

  3. 3
    SatanicPanic says:

    What Jim Hoft is to the Internet, Wolf Blitzer is to cable TV.

  4. 4
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    Don’t know if it’s been mentioned yet, the Moore tornado has been upgraded to EF5.

  5. 5
    beltane says:

    Atheism aside, I really find all the prayer talk regarding natural disasters to be highly distasteful. Is God supposed to be like a corrupt politician who only acts if the lobbyist meets his asking price. Is it really moral to take the position that “God spared me because I prayed hard and I’m special unlike that child across the street who wasn’t as special as me”. Not all religious people feel this way, but it is the type of piety that is most visible these days.

  6. 6

    @SatanicPanic: truer words have never been posted as a comment. I’m stealing that.

  7. 7
    👽 Martin says:

    And the jihad against religion by the godless continues unabated…

  8. 8
    Ash Can says:

    LOL!

  9. 9
    Yatsuno says:

    @beltane: There are some who constantly believe that Invisible Sky Daddy must always be pleased, and to displease Him is to invite disaster and misfortune upon their lives. But what displeases Him changes so constantly that they really have no idea what to do, so they cling to their pastors and their Bibles and hope it all works out. Allah forbid they try to think for themselves.

  10. 10
    Gopher2b says:

    Ha!! Thank you lord for killing me with the F5 tornado you sent directly at my $!%#& house. Jackass.

  11. 11
    Poopyman says:

    Smart kid, trying to keep the microphone away from Leslie.

  12. 12
    👽 Martin says:

    She, like many teachers at Oklahoma City’s Briarwood, helped keep students safe when a tornado tore through Monday, killing at least 24 people in the area, but incredibly, given the state of the building, everyone at Briarwood survived.
    Their actions no doubt saved lives.
    Many have called the teachers — at least one of whom literally shielded children with her body — heroes.
    But Glasgow said: “It’s just our job.”

    Can we cut her pay now? Need an offset for the funds to rebuild that school.

  13. 13
    dewzke says:

    Unimportant but why have why comments disappeared from previous threads?

  14. 14
    The Dangerman says:

    The woman handled the comment quite well; “people can or people can’t”, it’s all good, and that’s the way it should be.

  15. 15
    Poopyman says:

    @Yatsuno: Why are these supposed Christians so fixated on the Old Testament? It’s like they never heard of the New Covenant.

    And yeah, I’m an Atheist as well.

  16. 16
    👽 Martin says:

    @dewzke: God needed those electrons elsewhere.

  17. 17
    Yatsuno says:

    @Poopyman: I’m actually a theist, I just have enough security in my own faith that I can see the absurdities that atheists see in it. I don’t attempt to rationalise it nor do I expect you to follow in my footsteps.

    As to your other part, at least they’re reading the exciting stuff about wars and kids gored by bears on Invisible Sky Daddy’s command. They just choose to ignore the red letters because sounds too much like pinko hippie Communist talk. Plus their preacher never brings it up.

  18. 18
    Irish Steel says:

    Excellent tag, John.

  19. 19
    dewzke says:

    Fuck Wolf Blitzer.

  20. 20
    👽 Martin says:

    @dewzke: Yeah, no. Not gonna do that. Besides, it would gross Cole out.

  21. 21
    El Cruzado says:

    @beltane: Not to mention “thanks for destroying my house and my neighbors for no apparent reason but barely sparing my life. Motherfucker.”

  22. 22
    kdaug says:

    And lo, in the “devoutly christian” state of Oklahoma, there yet resides non-believers.

    Do fucking tell. And spared, at that.

    Did I tell you about the PhD(!) from Glasgow I toted around Austin after Cole left who was amazed we weren’t all fat and wearing cowboy hats?

  23. 23
    JCT says:

    @👽 Martin: I’ll bet she’s in a UNION. Burn her.

  24. 24
    NotMax says:

    CNN has gone directly, without passing Go, from tornado reporting to pornado reporting.

    Awaiting FOX trying to somehow tie Michael Moore into the town of Moore.

  25. 25
    Kristin says:

    That just made my day. I love that lady.

  26. 26
    kc says:

    You must be thanking the Lord. Right? I mean you ARE thanking the Lord, aren’t you? DO you thank the Lord?

  27. 27
    dantoujours says:

    Well this wishy-washy practising Episcopalian says good for her. She handled his stupidity with grace and dignity.

  28. 28
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    So, either:
    1. God sent the tornado which killed a bunch of people and allowed an atheist to live.
    2. God did not send the tornado but made sure to notify the atheist to do the right thing.

    And if either of these is true, then you Christians really have no clue what your God wants.

  29. 29
    NotMax says:

    @kdaug

    Did I tell you about the PhD(!) from Glasgow I toted around Austin after Cole left who was amazed we weren’t all fat and wearing cowboy hats?

    Suggested response: “We are, but today’s our day off.”

  30. 30
    Redshirt says:

    Because the truth is there are thousands of Gods, and they are all petty, and so there are disasters and wars and even miracles – it’s all just Gods competing with each other.

  31. 31
    SatanicPanic says:

    @ranchandsyrup: Steal away! OT, but our CD is done, it’s up on my blog.

  32. 32
    dewzke says:

    @👽 Martin: Martin, this ‘wolf’ is pathetic…you know what I mean. You should have seen him asking for a group hug earlier…not just odd but pandering.

  33. 33
    Roger Moore says:

    Somebody needs to tell Wolf that it’s OK for the people he interviews to praise God for surviving, but it’s really obnoxious for him to bully them into doing it. Maybe they’re atheists like this woman, or maybe they just don’t want to claim God saved them for fear it will make it sound like He killed those elementary school kids. Just let the interviewee tell their story.

  34. 34
    beltane says:

    @Yatsuno: It’s the smugness and egotism that offends me, the need to portray these random, horrific events as being part of a plan that is just and good. It has always been the case that bad things happen to good people while good things happen to bad people, and that those who were doomed prayed just as much or as little as those who were spared. When I hear people talk about the effectiveness of their particular prayers I just want to point out their hubris.

  35. 35
    Kristin says:

    Of course, I just saw one of the teachers from Plaza Towers Elementary say, “I did something that I probably wasn’t supposed to do. I prayed out loud.”

    Cue the wingnut whingers.

  36. 36
    Redshirt says:

    Everyone knows Jesus only cares about American sporting events, and who’s scoring/not scoring.

  37. 37
    kdaug says:

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):

    And if either of these is true, then you Christians really have no clue what your God wants.

    Just waiting for Pat Robertson to tell us who’s to blame.

  38. 38
    Punchy says:

    “Fucksaw”? Fo riz? Translate please

  39. 39
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @kdaug: For Pat, it’s the gays, it’s always the gays.

  40. 40
    Yatsuno says:

    @beltane: A lot of religious folk would be better off if they just realised we really don’t have the first fucking clue what God wants. So maybe instead we should just live a good life and take care of one another. You know, like every holy book actually says to do.

    @Redshirt: Oklahoma was punished for insufficient Tebowing. And stealing the Sonics. At least I think that’s what you’re saying.

  41. 41
    Narcissus says:

    Wolf Blitzer is an undercover alien agent who can’t seem to get “human” right.

    In any other environment his creepy weirdness and lack of humanity would be discovered by the populace and he’d be sent packing back to Fribbulus Xax.

    In the Village Media world he fits right in.

  42. 42
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @kdaug: The queers. It’s always the same.

  43. 43

    @SatanicPanic: awesome and congrats! Will check it out.

  44. 44
    TCG says:

    I will wait for Pat Robertson to explain why God allowed this non-believing heathen to live when so many good Christians died. Why I’ll bet he even let someone who has Teh Dreaded Gay live as well.

  45. 45
    👽 Martin says:

    @kdaug: Well, it’s obvious that God is punishing Oklahoma for becoming far too tolerant of gays. For all we know that lesbian epidemic in the school bathrooms is still growing out of control.

  46. 46
    mai naem says:

    I find this clip freaking hilarious. Wolf trying to recover. Hee hee.

    @👽 Martin: Well, she did it because she wasn’t a union teacher. It would have against the rules for a unionized teacher to do that. Heard that on Mornin’ Ho today.

    Also too, I hope the parents in that Plaza school sue the sheet out of the school system for not having adequate shelters if that’s what it ends up being. That is freaking bullshit. You send you kid to a school in a tornado prone area, you have a right to expect there to be adequate shelter.

  47. 47
    Yatsuno says:

    @Gin & Tonic: He actually spoke. It was insuficient prayer. I saw a link for it (Imani found it) but can’t link to it at work. I’ll dig it up when I get home.

  48. 48
    👽 Martin says:

    @Narcissus:

    Wolf Blitzer is an undercover alien agent who can’t seem to get “human” right.

    Same planet as Mitt Romney or different one?

  49. 49
    Fluke bucket says:

    Wonderful tag

  50. 50
    jshooper says:

    I can’t get over the irony of them standing in front of a gigantic pile of rubble from a destroyed town and then having a discussion of whether “the lord” saved them from death.

    I don’t understand the mentality of Christians who believe the lord saves them from horrible situations. Does the lord not care about the people who died in the disaster?

    Do these people just create this bullshit to make themselves feel special?

    It’s so obviously devoid of logic that it seems deranged.

    Also why the hell is Wolf Blitzer bringing up religion at all in his reporting / interview. If he was talking to a brown person with uncertain ethnic origins would he have posed this question? It seems like he just felt safe with a white woman from rural Oklahoma.I’m so glad he was made to look like a fool.

  51. 51
    kdaug says:

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    For Pat, it’s the gays, it’s always the gays.

    Well, cool, then. Westboro can show up and hold a “God Hates Kids N’ Fags / Donation Drive” combo tomorrow.

    Two birds, and all that.

  52. 52
    Cacti says:

    Surely this lady must be grateful that a capricious deity arbitrarily spared her life while he was snuffing out so many others.

  53. 53
    👽 Martin says:

    @mai naem:

    Well, she did it because she wasn’t a union teacher. It would have against the rules for a unionized teacher to do that. Heard that on Mornin’ Ho today.

    Like the unionized teachers in Newtown, I suppose.

  54. 54
    Redshirt says:

    @👽 Martin: He’s got it wrong. Romney’s from Planet Xenon; Wolf Blitzer is in fact an android controlled by a cadre of Corporate elite. All major news figures these days are androids – or didn’t you know?

  55. 55
    Roger Moore says:

    @Yatsuno:

    A lot of religious folk would be better off if they just realised we really don’t have the first fucking clue what God wants.

    We actually have a pretty good idea; God spends a lot of time commanding people to do or not do things. A lot of what he tells people to do is to help the poor and downtrodden, and a lot of what he tells them not to do is act like jerks. Somehow, the command to help widows and orphans has been turned into a belief that we need to gut Social Security and SNAP, and the command not to abuse strangers within your gates means we need to throw the damn illegal immigrants out. And, in case you hadn’t heard, the reason for the red text in the New Testament is to show those parts are optional.

    ETA: All assuming, of course, that you believe in God and that the Bible is His Word.

  56. 56
    Betty Cracker says:

    I can’t see the video (stoopit Kindle Fie-wah!), but regarding the rampant god-bothering that accompanies these tragedies: I also used to read it as an incredibly arrogant assertion of one’s own unique special snowflake status, but now I’m more inclined to think it’s just frightened people groping for answers in the face of some seriously scary, random shit. Probably most of them haven’t really thought through the implications and don’t mean it the way it sounds.

  57. 57
    El Tiburon says:

    What a fucking douche. God we suck so bad. Poor woman is prolly on malkins hit list now.

    Keep Rush and can this asswipe

  58. 58
    cbear says:

    Wolf is a shining example of how ugly it can get when stupid meets vapid.
    It ain’t no way to go through life, son.

  59. 59
    👽 Martin says:

    @Redshirt: Well, so much for the first law.

  60. 60
    hilts says:

    John,

    This is a good clip, but I think Wolf has done worse in the past –

    On CNN last night, Wolf Blitzer was beside himself with rage over the fact that the U.S. Government had failed to keep all these things secret from him…Then — like the Good Journalist he is — Blitzer demanded assurances that the Government has taken the necessary steps to prevent him, the media generally and the citizenry from finding out any more secrets…

    h/t http://www.salon.com/2010/11/30/wikileaks_10

  61. 61
    Punchy says:

    Also, need to undystand how they had 51 “confirmed” deaths, then 91 “confirmed”, now only 20-something.

    The word “confirmed”…what the fucking hell does it mean?

  62. 62
    Comrade Jake says:

    I’m not normally one to complain here, but there are some real issues with the mobile version of this site. I just loaded this post on my iPad, and couldn’t see the comments. Only Cole’s post was showing. Comments showed up briefly, then disappeared.

    I will be happy to donate money to fix this if it helps. Just tell me who to send the check to and for how much.

  63. 63
    👽 Martin says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    I’m more inclined to think it’s just frightened people groping for answers in the face of some seriously scary, random shit.

    It is. Individually we’re all pretty insignificant life forms in the grand scheme. That’s not easy to face day-in and day-out. Even us atheists remind our kids every day how much we love them and how important they are.

  64. 64
    NickT says:

    Wolf Blitzer has a job because we had to do something with the mentally ill creatures that Reagan dumped on the street.

  65. 65
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    @mai naem: Define adequate shelter for something that doesn’t occur that often (even for Moore), and when it does, is unpredictable in its scale? How much do you think people are going to pay for the underground shelters that would be required to handle an F5? Do yo also think the families in Newtown should sue for inadequate security?

    I live in Texas and have three kids in school. I would not expect the schools to be prepared for an F5.

  66. 66
    Poopyman says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    … now I’m more inclined to think it’s just frightened people groping for answers in the face of some seriously scary, random shit.

    And thus did proto-humans invent religion.

  67. 67
    SatanicPanic says:

    @cbear: He really is a perfect mix of I don’t know anything and I don’t want to know anything. Of course any discussion of Wolf Blitzer is incomplete without his Celebrity Jeopardy appearance.

  68. 68

    @Betty Cracker: I think it’s a little from column A, a little from column B. Completely agree that they can’t fathom that people could take things “the wrong way”.

  69. 69
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    @El Tiburon: First, Malkin will have to find the countertops. “Miss, what are you doing climbing around the debris in a cheerleading outfit?”

  70. 70
    Comrade Jake says:

    Oh and fuck Blitzer.

  71. 71
    Keith says:

    CNN did something similar yesterday morning. They were doing one of their “we cover every minutiae of an event until it’s a distant memory, then we run specials on it” bits when they were interviewing storm chasers. At one point, they said, “Let’s go to part of your video here” and cut to the chasers saying something like “Pray to God we’re safe”, at which point the hosts began to interview the storm chasers about prayer. I had to turn it off at that point. I’m not atheist, but CNN + proselytizing is a bridge too far.

  72. 72
    beltane says:

    @Betty Cracker: I don’t know. The few evangelicals I’m friends with on FB are in the habit of issuing demands that everyone “send prayers” whenever their kids have a T-ball game or their toilet overflowed or whatever. Prayers are apparently like “stuff” and God likes stuff and will take care of those who give him enough of it. This way of thinking seems to be prevalent only with a certain guilt-free subset of Christians, but it does appear to be central to their way of understanding how the universe works.

  73. 73
    The Fat Kate Middleton says:

    @mai naem:
    First … you’re right. Second … taught for 25 years in a Tornado Alley state. The last thing they think of is a storm shelter/basement/whatever, ’cause every time a vote comes up to build or add on, all anyone’s concerned about is cost – how low can you go. Plus, the only thing you’re allowed to spend real money on is anything related to sports and fitness. Safety? Pffft. Science labs? Well … maybe, cuz we live in a city whose big biz is technology. But anything else? This is the Midwest, Jake.

  74. 74
    👽 Martin says:

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent): I gotta agree with him on this one. F5 aside, Oklahoma gets a fuckload of tornadoes. An F2 or F3 hitting a school is no more acceptable of a situation.

    All public buildings should have a shelter. They really aren’t expensive to build. Fuck, we put bomb shelters in a ton of public spaces in the 50s. And they would help residents that couldn’t afford to build shelters of their own.

    Nearly 100 men, women and children crowded shoulder-to-shoulder into a six-year-old, above-ground, concrete-reinforced safe room adjacent to the Tushka pre-school. A block away, about 100 other residents, their kids and their dogs in tow, rushed into the 90-year-old, below-ground, public shelter – 45-feet long and shaped like a tube, with dirt floors and steel doors at either end.

    Across town, two elderly sisters, caught inside their home, died in the storm’s fury but each and every person who sought refuge in the two public shelters walked out alive that night.

    Oklahoma has been doing this. But if we needed shovel-ready projects to get employment going, look no further than this. I’m pretty sure CA would put their support behind doing this in OK, TX and other tornado-prone areas.

  75. 75
    👽 Martin says:

    @beltane: God is totally a hoarder.

  76. 76
    Narcissus says:

    One of the great parts of the tornado coverage so far was the stylish hip-hugging jeans Mika wore while touring the ruins this morning. It really defined her posterior, which I appreciate.

  77. 77
    beltane says:

    @Keith: My husband once won some Super Bowl tickets in a raffle. The reporter from the local news channel worked very hard to make him admit to some element of divine intervention but he wouldn’t bite. At least in paganism minor matters like football get their own minor gods while matters of real importance have more important gods.

  78. 78
    BGinCHI says:

    About Wolf Blitzer I will just quote Goodnight Moon:

    Goodnight nobody. Goodnight mush.

  79. 79
    👽 Martin says:

    @beltane: If I could be a god, I’d be the god of not letting the bread get moldy before grocery shopping day. NFL god might seem more popular, but quietly a lot more people would appreciate me.

  80. 80
    Redshirt says:

    Wolf Blitzer don’t even believe in The Lord anyways – freaking liberal CNN. Always with the lies.

  81. 81
    NickT says:

    @beltane:

    I’ve heard that way of thinking described as “penny in the slot prayer”.

  82. 82
    The Fat Kate Middleton says:

    @BGinCHI: Sweet. Your baby’s old enough to enjoy this now?

  83. 83
    The Fat Kate Middleton says:

    @👽 Martin: Goddess speaking here – put the bread in the refrigerator. No mold. Guaranteed.

  84. 84
    👽 Martin says:

    @The Fat Kate Middleton: We keep ours in the freezer, actually (acts like a little ice pack for my workday sandwich). But a lot of people leave their out and small sadnesses regularly ensue.

    I wouldn’t mind being the god of latex painting. A lot of people need divine help there. I think I could help.

  85. 85
    cbear says:

    @SatanicPanic: That clip is hilarious:
    “Well, Wolf, even though you’re so fucking stupid that you now owe Celebrity Jeopardy $4650—-we’re still going to let you play the Final Round.”

    “Thanks Alec, I’ll take Dumb Fucks for a $Million.”

  86. 86
    Felonius Monk says:

    Wolf Blitzer is a compelling reason for keeping abortion legal. The birth of lizards of his ilk should not be permitted.

  87. 87
    Redshirt says:

    Seriously, that Jeopardy performance should have been the end of his career. How can you come across that dumb and be taken seriously as a “respected journalist”?

    Oh yeah, right. American media.

  88. 88
    Scamp Dog says:

    @The Fat Kate Middleton: Goodnight Moon is just appalling. Most people give their kids a goodnight kiss; to give your child a goodnight moon is really messed up.

  89. 89
    dewzke says:

    @SatanicPanic:

    Awesomely hilarious!

  90. 90
    trollhattan says:

    @beltane:
    I have noticed every, and I mean every public and NGO official interviewed since yesterday to the question of “What do you need?” begin their answer with “First, your prayers.” I guess it’s a Bible Belt thing, but sheesh, can you at least make it a coda to the actual list?

  91. 91
    SatanicPanic says:

    @cbear: At that point Alex Trebek was pretty much the kindergarten teaching giving him gold star on his macaroni collage. “Great effort Wolf!”

  92. 92
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Headline of the day from LA Times:

    Big rig carrying fruit crashes on 210 Freeway, creates jam

    http://www.latimes.com/local/l.....2136.story

  93. 93
    dewzke says:

    @SatanicPanic:

    Trebek was smiling a bit.

  94. 94
    Betty Cracker says:

    @The Fat Kate Middleton: No mold, true, but it gets kind of dried out in the fridge, and one is forced to eat sandwiches on chilled bread (or toast). I’d rather leave it in the breadbox and trust the God of Not Letting Bread Get Moody to sort it out.

  95. 95
    👽 Martin says:

    @Mornington Crescent: Not an accident, I assure you. Headline writers don’t have much room for creativity – they take it when they can get it.

  96. 96
    trollhattan says:

    @El Tiburon:

    Sadly for Malkin, the lady’s countertops are somewhere in north Texas.

  97. 97
    trollhattan says:

    @El Tiburon:

    Sadly for Malkin, the lady’s countertops are somewhere in north Texas.

  98. 98
    Roger Moore says:

    @The Fat Kate Middleton:

    Goddess speaking here – put the bread in the refrigerator.

    No, no, no. Putting bread in the refrigerator makes it go stale faster. If you can’t eat it all before it goes moldy stored at room temperature, you’re much better keeping most of it in the freezer, where it won’t go stale. Or, I suppose, you could start using all those recipes designed to use up stale bread, like French toast, bread pudding, and gazpacho. Maybe keeping it in the fridge isn’t such a terrible idea after all…

  99. 99
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    It’s hard to believe that in a nation of 319 million people CNN can’t find anyone who could do a better job than Wolf Blitzer.

  100. 100
    SatanicPanic says:

    @dewzke: It might have just been the editing but every no sounds a little more like a sigh.

  101. 101
    👽 Martin says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    It’s hard to believe that in a nation of 319 million people CNN can’t find anyone who could do a better job than Wolf Blitzer.

    You know, statements like that make it harder to be an atheist.

  102. 102
    Roger Moore says:

    @Mornington Crescent:

    Big rig carrying fruit crashes on 210 Freeway, creates jam

    Funny headline, not so funny situation. It tied up lanes in both directions for most of the day, which created massive backups. I was lucky enough to see about it on the news before leaving for work, so I was able to avoid it, but it was really nasty for the people who didn’t, or who couldn’t avoid it.

  103. 103
    dewzke says:

    I just watched that Jeopardy clip for the third time…too awesome!

  104. 104
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    wasn;t Blitzer supposed to retire a few years ago? John King was supposed to take his place?

  105. 105
    Forked Tongue says:

    If it had been me, I wouldn’t have said “I don’t blame anybody for thankin’ the Lord.” I would have said “Actually, Wolf, I have no idea why anybody would cling to that ridiculous superstition, especially in light of an incident like this which pretty clearly demonstrates that there isn’t a Lord out there who gives a damn about saving one person here and abandoning another person there.” Still, props to the lady for not completely knuckling under to Wolf’s insipid Godbothering, and the world could use a lot more like her.

  106. 106
    The Fat Kate Middleton says:

    @Scamp Dog: @Roger Moore: I’d put it in the freezer, but ours is just too small … and we usually eat bread int he form of toast, so …

  107. 107
    Roger Moore says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    I’d rather leave it in the breadbox and trust the God of Not Letting Bread Get Moody to sort it out.

    You’ve heard the saying that God helps those who help themselves? Well, the God of Not Letting Bread Get Moldy helps those who bake their own bread, and especially loves those who bake sourdough.

  108. 108
    Mornington Crescent says:

    @👽 Martin:

    I can definitely see that.

    I don’t think that A-Rod goes deep, Wang hurt was an accident. Nor was Colon absorbs another pounding

  109. 109
    Roger Moore says:

    @👽 Martin:

    Not an accident, I assure you.

    Are you saying there was a conspiracy to crash the truck?

  110. 110
  111. 111
  112. 112
    The Fat Kate Middleton says:

    @Scamp Dog: Sorry you ended up in the bread comments. I have no idea how that happened. Anyway … I’m sorry you feel that way about ‘Goodnight Moon’. Maybe it’s snark on your part … but as long as my grandbabies love it, so do I.

  113. 113
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Yatsuno:

    You know, like every holy book actually says to do.

    I don’t think there’s anything remotely resembling that sentiment in Atlas Shrugged.

  114. 114
    Punchy says:

    So the Grizz go 15-2 down the stretch to force ovey, then shit the bed completely in OT? Whats the point of takin it to ovey if bedshitting is on the agenda?

  115. 115
    The Fat Kate Middleton says:

    Re the whole atheist thing – my last year of teaching (’09), I was letting my students know what atheism and agnosticism were. One little girl was horrified: If we were atheists, why wouldn’t we just go out and kill anyone we wanted to? She was VERY upset about this. She waited on me in the pharmacy last week, and I reminded her of this. She laughed, and said, “I’m an atheist now, and I don’t remember that at all. Can’t believe I ever thought that.”

  116. 116
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Redshirt:

    All major news figures these days are androids – or didn’t you know?

    Norman, coordinate.

  117. 117
    SatanicPanic says:

    @dewzke: Cheech is pretty smart, I remember watching him win celebrity jeopardy back in the day

  118. 118
    Joseph Nobles says:

    I love it. “Actually I’m an atheist. Ha ha ha! Missed me!”

  119. 119
    ronin122 says:

    So glad that atheists and theists can come together and tell Wolf Blitzer to go fuck himself. I think it needs to be done more often–not so much an interfaith thing or whatever so much as Wolf deserves to be fired for being a moronic prick. Or so I’d like to think. Unfortunately, I think a guy like him is perfect for what’s become of CNN. Which is why I’d rather watch Faux “News”, at least with that I can laugh at Bill O’ and understand what the wingnut talking points of the day are, more informative than whatever CNN covers.

  120. 120
    BGinCHI says:

    @The Fat Kate Middleton: Oh yeah. Often.

  121. 121
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @ronin122:

    You have to remember that Wolf is the cretin who insisted on arguing with his own on-air experts about the possibility of the “balloon boy” being inside the balloon.

    “Wolf, it’s not a matter of if he can fit inside it, it’s a simple question of weight ratios.”

  122. 122
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    @ronin122:

    So glad that atheists and theists can come together and tell Wolf Blitzer to go fuck himself.

    Don’t leave us Buddhists out.

    From the Emerald Sutra:

    “Tathagata! World Honored One! How wonderful it is that by Thy mercy we are protected and Instructed! Lord, when men and women announce that they desire to follow the Bodhisattva Path and ask us how they should proceed, what should we tell them?”

    “Good Subhuti,” answered the Buddha, “tell them that Wolf Blitzer should fuck himself…”

  123. 123
    The Golux says:

    @Mornington Crescent: The Hartford Courant had a good one a couple of years ago, when the Yankee relievers wasted Bartolo’s good start: “Sweet Colon, Smelly Bullpen”.

  124. 124
    Origuy says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    “Good Subhuti,” answered the Buddha, “tell them that Wolf Blitzer should fuck himself…”

    If the Buddha actually said that, I would shave my head and put on a saffron robe.

  125. 125
    Gavin Kith says:

    @SatanicPanic: Blitzer was so bad on Celebrity Jeopardy, I thought he would get fired from CNN just on general principle.

  126. 126
    The prophet Nostradumbass says:

    @👽 Martin: Romney is from Kolob; Blitzer, being a giant blancmange, is from the planet Skyron, in the galaxy of Andromeda.

  127. 127
    Mnemosyne says:

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    But can Blitzer win Wimbledon?

  128. 128
    Steve Crickmore says:

    Why single out Blitzer? Every modern President that I recall, ends every address, with the refrain. ‘And God bless America’. When did that start? The answer: 40 years ago, with Richard Nixon.

  129. 129
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Steve Crickmore:

    Every modern President that I recall, ends every address, with the refrain. ‘And God bless America’

    Obama added something very subtle to that tradition — he says, “God bless the United States of America.”

    Still a theistic statement, but I find it interesting that he adds “United States” where other presidents did not.

  130. 130
    fuckwit says:

    @Steve Crickmore: And the fucking saluting, started with Reagan.

  131. 131
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    Our single daughter is approached by guys who like to tell her that they are Christians and ask her religion. She tells them that she’s a Pastafarian and that is usually where it ends. One guy asked her what Pastafarianism is and she started going in to great detail about it. She said it didn’t last long and pretty quickly he said that he had to go. She said the looks he gave her were absolutely something to remember.

    She would like to say that she’s a member of Landover Baptist Church but she doesn’t want anyone to mistake her for a real Christian.

  132. 132

    @Mnemosyne: No, Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Brainsample would eat him.

  133. 133
    Seanly says:

    I know the look that lady was giving – the “I don’t really want to say this, but this creep is going overboard & I need to cut him off at the knees” look.

  134. 134
    cckids says:

    @Kristin:

    “I did something that I probably wasn’t supposed to do. I prayed out loud.”

    Yes, this is all over my family’s book of face. It makes me so tired. Just . . .tired. Such a symptom of the anger, misplaced defensiveness & willful ignorance that has been so fostered & advanced since Faux News went on the air.

  135. 135
    DPS says:

    Well, if being confronted with a massive tornado and Wolf Blitzer over the space of 48 hours doesn’t cause you to doubt the existence of a benevolent, omnipotent creator, what will?

  136. 136
    Fort Geek says:

    @Punchy: Changing talking points! Tornaghaziiiii!!

    From what I’ve heard, it was a matter of several people doing counts and no one accounting for duplicates at first.

  137. 137
    kd bart says:

    “Why does Wolf Blitzer have a job?”

    Because he has photos of Ted Turner fucking sheep on his Montana ranch that is why.

  138. 138
    Baud says:

    That was hilarious.

    Do you thank God? Well DO YOU? ANSWER ME!

  139. 139

    @beltane: And thus it is revealed, Her Lord Susscrofa is eternally displeased with the Cleveland Browns, visiting them with an endless fate of poor management, mediocre defense and a shitty offense. Gaia chuckles at the antics of her offspring, and waters the living world with the tears of Cleveland fans that fall as rivers upon the ground.

    @kd bart: Gee, thanks for that imagery so early in the morn. Sets the bar for employment kind of low, though.

  140. 140
    Lurking Canadian says:

    @Roger Moore: A few years ago, the Conservapedia guy announced that he was working on the Conservabible. Seems all the stuff about loving one’s neighbor, caring for the downtrodden and so on are corruptions of the true text, added by socialist translators. I never heard if he got finished. It’d be fun to read whatever was left.

  141. 141
    evodevo says:

    @beltane: YES. My son turned evangelical in his teens, and his in-laws and wife are born-agains. The in-laws’ entire facebook pages are taken up with this kind of stuff. Over and over and over. They get ecstatic when they find a parking place near the front door of WallyMart, praise Jeezus. That kind of self-absorption is alien to me.

  142. 142
    nwithers says:

    @DPS:

    Bravo! you nearly made me spit soup all over my monitor.

  143. 143
    Tone In DC says:

    @BruceFromOhio:

    And thus it is revealed, Her Lord Susscrofa is eternally displeased with the Cleveland Browns, visiting them with an endless fate of poor management, mediocre defense and a shitty offense. Gaia chuckles at the antics of her offspring, and waters the living world with the tears of Cleveland fans that fall as rivers upon the ground.

    Substitute Redskins for Browns and you’ve got Rex Grossman and friends from 2007-2011.

  144. 144
    NickT says:

    @evodevo:

    I think Juvenal said it best:

    “Just the sort of rare mind a god would want to talk to at midnight.”

  145. 145
    Kip the Wonder Rat says:

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent): A relatively simple answer to this is found in asking: What type of shelters do the schools have in affluent districts?

    I don’t know for certain, but yesterday I read on the intertoobes that this answer is: Much stronger.

  146. 146
    batgirl says:

    Very late on this thread so no one may see this, but did anyone catch the special they did on NBC last night? Briefly turned it on expecting something else and saw Brian Williams and someone else babblering on about how of course these real American working-class people will be just fine cause they are Real Americans TM. Then they started on about faith-based responses and how no one expects the government to respond quickly and so on. Just had to turn that shit off.

  147. 147
    Kip the Wonder Rat says:

    @Roger Moore: Sticky situation, huh.

  148. 148
    wuzzat says:

    @Punchy: What we have here is a failure to communicate.

    Or, at least, a failure to communicate effectively. The same report of twenty-something confirmed deaths was delivered by multiple sources. And the media heard “the hospital reports 24 dead”, “the PD reports 24 dead,” “the FD reports 24 dead” and “the emergency management office reports 24 dead” and got 96 dead.

    Turns out, Becky didn’t actually sleep with the whole football team this is the reason why companies/gov’t agencies/etc. usually designate a single person or official to talk to the press.

  149. 149

    Even setting aside the religious aspect of this clip, Blitzer is doing one of my major pet peeves in television interviewing: feeding the money quote. “You must thank the Lord. You gotta thank the Lord, right?” It’s as if the interviewer thinks they’re not getting anything good, and have to steer the conversation back on script. But there’s not a script, guys. Let the person you’re interviewing be themselves — that’s why you’re interviewing them.

  150. 150
    Matt McIrvin says:

    Death tolls in large disasters almost always mount quickly over the first couple of days, then drop as pessimistic estimates are replaced by actual counts, unaccounted-for people turn up and duplicate reports get sorted out.

    We saw that with the September 11th attacks: 2,996 people were killed immediately, a few by delayed effects later on, but the initial death tolls were closer to 5,000 (I remember seeing some wild estimates in the tens of thousands on the day itself, but those disappeared quickly).

  151. 151
    Matt McIrvin says:

    …A similar effect occurs with body counts in wars and atrocities, as Matt White’s old page on the 20th century world wars points out:

    Generally speaking, I’ve seen more numbers shrink than grow under critical scrutiny. The tally for the Spanish Civil War began at a million and dropped to less than half that once someone looked into it. The Persian Gulf War gets less and less bloody with each new study. The riots over India’s partition took a million lives in the earliest reports, but now are considered to have cost about a quarter of that. This is not to say that some death tolls haven’t stood their ground — the Holocaust killed just about as many Jews today as it did in the Nuremberg indictment. Also, there have been plenty of counts that have gone up — Stalin’s body count is higher today than it was when he was alive — but here again, the counts have been going down from the peak estimates of the Cold War Era.

    I hate to sound callous, but humans are tougher to kill than they get credit for.[…]

    This is not to minimize the death and suffering that happens in these events, but to point out that a dropping death toll is not a sign that something unusual happened.

  152. 152
    McJulie says:

    I love this clip so much. The woman seems so sweet, the baby is so cute, Wolf Blitzer is so obnoxious and gets pwned so thoroughly.

    I was raised evangelical, and I remember vividly the way they’re always praying over weird little things, blessing AV equipment before sermons and random stuff like that — their God is a fussy little micro-manager, and doesn’t hold up very well under scrutiny. But it seems to me — from my adult, laid-back deist perspective — that what they are is really anxious that there’s nobody there at all, so they’re always telling themselves that this thing or that thing is “proof” of God’s active presence.

    Evangelicals are perpetually overcompensating, possibly because the religious culture demands a level of emotional certainty that most humans just aren’t wired to possess.

  153. 153
    Thymezone says:

    Why does Wolf Blitzer have a job? Because he isn’t clever enough to run a blog.

  154. 154
    Saint Jackanapes says:

    When I watched that idiot Wolf (and known coward – watch his video during the gulf wars while he pisses his pants and cries) once again I saw why his father grossly misnamed him. He pestered this survivor to admit that she thanks the “LORD” for her survival – did h bother beforehand to ask if she was Christian, Hindu, Muslim? No – a typical Christian snob he just assumed and he wanted her to thank HIS “lord” thing for her survival – and to say so on worldwide TV. Wolf Blitzer should be put out to pasture – he’s nothing but a weak talking head who has said repeatedly that he’ll never report on site again. He’s tired of peeing his pants on air.

  155. 155
    marvin roberts says:

    If this woman were in a muslim country, she would be in jail and facing the death penalty now.

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