I Can’t Be a Pedophile, I’m a Racist.

61-year-old Humble Preparatory Academy first grade teacher, Ester Irene Stokes is using a very disturbing defense after being accused of fondling a seven-year-old student, she claims she couldn’t possibly have touched the child because the alleged victim is black and she is a racist.

What kind of human being, much less a person employed to shape the minds of young kids, decides “well, this is a great idea for getting out of this sex offender thing, I’ll just say I’m a racist. Score!”. – Better A Racist Than A Pedophile Be, Apparently from Angry Black Lady Chronicals on TWIB

So, its not that you wouldn’t molest a kid , you just won’t molest a black one?  This is a whole new flavor of terrible.

On today’s #TWiBRadio, we talk about the food pyramid of crime suspects, poison in the mail makes a comeback, and fat shaming Kim Kardashian.

Subscribe on iTunes | Subscribe On Stitcher | Direct Download | RSS

And this morning on #amTWiB no shock here, bipartisan investigation concludes the Bush administration did use torture, the cupcake market crumbled, and science proves just how gross beer pong really is.

Subscribe on iTunes | Subscribe On Stitcher |  Direct Download | RSS

Share On Facebook
Share On Twitter
Share On Google Plus
Share On Pinterest
Share On Reddit






28 replies
  1. 1
    YellowJournalism says:

    “Your iPod is missing? I can’t be the thief! I only terrorize old people.”

  2. 2
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    People have used the “I am appalling person but not a criminal” defense for years.

  3. 3
    MikeJ says:

    You don’t go to prison for being an asshole.

  4. 4
    Jerzy Russian says:

    OK, that is really fucked up. Please pardon me while I go sniff some glue, which seems to be less harmful to the brain than reading the latest news.

  5. 5
    YellowJournalism says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Seems to work for Rush.

  6. 6
    efgoldman says:

    “I couldn’t have been the drunk driver in that hit and run. I don’t even have a license!”

  7. 7
    Soonergrunt says:

    Ahh, yes. The “I’m a bastard, but I’m not THE bastard you’re looking for” defense.

    ETA–tornado just hit Lawton, OK. My Niece is homeless, but OK.

  8. 8
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @YellowJournalism: William Smith, the Kennedy cousin, used a version of it in his rape trial. A big part of his defense was that what had happened was consensual, but afterwards he forgot her name and she got pissed off.

  9. 9
    efgoldman says:

    @Soonergrunt:

    tornado just hit Lawton, OK. My Niece is homeless, but OK.

    Damn! But that’s the important thing (that she’s safe.)
    You know, all the holy rollers and gawd botherers in those crimson states (like yours), don’t at least some of them think FSM must be sending a message with all the destructive weather?

  10. 10
    the Conster says:

    I couldn’t be a rapist, I hate women!

  11. 11
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Soonergrunt: Glad your niece is okay, but I would be lying if I said that there weren’t times when I wanted something horrible to happen to Lawton.

  12. 12
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Roger that. Supposedly the tornado went right up Sill Blvd through the middle of the city and hit at least part of the main cantonment on Fort Sill.

  13. 13
    lojasmo says:

    Waiting for the arbiter of all things molestation and rape Douche & Bag to show up here so we can all know how to feel.

  14. 14
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Soonergrunt: Strip clubs okay?

  15. 15
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Some probably got hit, but they’ll recover quicker than other businesses, I’m sure. It’s not like you need a big infrastructure to run that business, after all.

  16. 16
    MikeJ says:

    @Soonergrunt: The electronic gear can get pricey (lights, pa, etc) and liquor stocks are pretty vulnerable.

  17. 17
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Soonergrunt: True. I am just trying to remember what else is in Lawton. I stepped on some cactus thing at Sill that put a spike through the steel shank in my jungle boot. I can’t stand that place. I don’t wish harm on the residents – living there is punishment enough.

  18. 18
    Yutsano says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Oh shit. I’ll have to check in with a friend who was just transferred there. Hope he’s okay, he’s got four little ones to look after.

  19. 19
    Soonergrunt says:

    @MikeJ: Two guys with flashlights, a boom-box, a couple of bottles of watered-down booze and you’re there.

    @Omnes Omnibus: I’ve been to worse places, but I did have the worst case of the screaming cheetah shits of my life at Sill. That place bites.

  20. 20
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Yutsano: hope they’re OK.

  21. 21
    Yutsano says:

    @Soonergrunt: It’ll have to wait until I get home to check for sure, but hopefully he already tried to e-mail me. I’ll keep y’all updated if I hear any word.

    PS: Glad your niece emerged unscathed.

  22. 22
    Soonergrunt says:

    @Yutsano: She’s tougher than she thinks she is. She’ll be OK. She’s staying with a girlfriend tonight. I’m sure your buddy is fine. Reports I’m seeing say that it didn’t do a large amount of damage.

  23. 23
    Steeplejack says:

    @Soonergrunt:

    A big superstructure helps, though.

  24. 24
    Roger Moore says:

    @Steeplejack:

    A big superstructure helps, though.

    To be an employee, yes. To be an owner, not so much.

  25. 25
    Persia says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Jesus, I had purged that bullshit from my brain.

    I agree, TWIB crew: I too feel kind of sorry for Kim Kardashian. It’s an odd feeling.

  26. 26
    👽 Martin says:

    61-year-old Humble Preparatory Academy first grade teacher, Ester Irene Stokes is using a very disturbing defense after being accused of fondling a seven-year-old student, she claims she couldn’t possibly have touched the child because the alleged victim is black and she is a racist.

    “Strom Thurmond”

    The prosecution rests.

  27. 27
    RepubAnon says:

    @👽 Martin: Darn, you beat me to the “Strom Thurmond fathered a child with a black woman, and he was a racist…” card.

    One could also mention all those white slaveholders that fathered black children… I guess they weren’t racist, either.

  28. 28
    mclaren says:

    It’s…it’s…there are no words.

    “I can’t be a rapist, I’m a serial killer!”

    “I can’t have murdered all those people at My Lai, I’m a torturer!”

    “I can’t have stolen the 2000 presidential election, I’m a bribe-taking grifter!”

    The mind boggles…

Comments are closed.