Late Night Open Thread: A Snivel of Breitbrats

Speaking of NSFWCorp, Mark Ames & Max Blumenthal use their expansive pixel allotment to gleefully catalog the weird specimens currently representing the House of Breitbart:

Breitbart, the adoptive son of a wealthy West Los Angeles restauranteur, used his privilege to immiserate the most marginalized, impoverished, widely demonized groups of Americans. He was a faithful errand boy for rich, Scrooge McDuck tycoons like Peter Thiel, Foster Friess, and the Koch Brothers, wielding smear journalism against anyone or any interest that threatened their power — usually African-Americans or groups like ACORN, serving impoverished, neglected inner city communities.

There was nothing innovative or new about Breitbart’s smear operation. Indeed, he walked a trail blazed by the now-forgotten snitches and smear artists of the McCarthy era – quasi-eccentric figures like Matt Cvetic and Henry Matusow. Cvetic drank himself to death a few years after McCarthy’s fall; while Matusow recanted, was jailed for perjury, and spent the last decades of his life begging for money and working as a clown for children’s parties. Breitbart, for his part, collapsed on a sidewalk outside his home in Brentwood at the tender age of 43…

What Breitbart really left behind is not so much a media business as an asylum for fringe-right degenerates, a motley collection of depraved losers, beer hall rage-a-holics and downright freaks offering themselves up as mercenaries for the rich and powerful, taking dirty jobs no one with a shred of self-respect would consider. As hired-assassins who couldn’t hit the side of a barn if their lives depended on it, the unlikely heirs Breitbart once hired as sycophantic underlings come off as a comedy troupe of slapstick fascists — and it would be funny, if not for the powerful corporate forces sponsoring their attempts at sectarian smears and top-down class warfare….

With Loesch out of the picture, the “face of Breitbart.com” title has mostly gone to the same two clowns — Joel Pollak and Ben Shapiro — who botched the Obama student video on the Sean Hannity Show, and started Breitbart down the long slide into the fringe-right margins.

And that is just how Pollak and his little sidekick Shapiro, a pair of ambitious celebrity-seekers, like it. Pollak and Shapiro both harbor deluded fantasies of becoming the telegenic faces and voices of the conservative movement. The only thing holding them back: their faces and voices…

“Sneak” seems to be the consensus word for “a group of weasels”, but the flat noun doesn’t really capture the naked incompetence and adolescent pissiness of the Breitbrat collective. “Snivel” isn’t perfect, either. Anybody got a better suggestion?






87 replies
  1. 1
    Dead Ernest says:

    A “squat”?

  2. 2
    Sloegin says:

    If sticking with ‘S’ words, ‘smarm’ might do in a pinch.

  3. 3
    NotMax says:

    Living history.

    …”I just wanted to say what happened there,” she says. “That Hitler was a really repugnant man. And a pig.”

    So sayeth the 95-year-old, and last, of Hitler’s food tasters, a woman who also survived – and surmounted – brutalities which can scarce be imagined.

  4. 4
    NotMax says:

    There already exists a collective noun for a “group of weasels” – colony.

    So rather than reinvent the wheel (and sow possible confusion) better to come up with a term other than weasels.

  5. 5
    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again) says:

    I’d go with conspiracy, or one of its synonyms such as cabal or plot.

  6. 6
    Mandalay says:

    Breitbart, the adoptive son of a wealthy West Los Angeles restauranteur

    The authors don’t even know what “adoptive” means, and you have to subscribe to read the article?

    Breitbart would be proud of a scam like that.

  7. 7
    Yutsano says:

    @NotMax: I still love that a group of crows is a murder. Poor corvids.

  8. 8
    NotMax says:

    Ah, now I grok what you may be after.

    A scourge of Breitbarts.

  9. 9
    Redshift says:

    A fart of breitbartlettes? It conveys that the group is both insubstantial and noxious, especially if it’s deliberate.

  10. 10
    Redshift says:

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): But that seems to suggest some level of competence.

  11. 11
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    ‘Snivel’ and ‘Smarm’ are mighty fine choices. I humbly submit ‘a whopper of breitbrats.’

  12. 12
    cbear says:

    A scrote of Breitbarts?

  13. 13
    dance around in your bones says:

    I’d go with a foul of Breitbarts.

  14. 14
  15. 15
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Yutsano:

    I still love that a group of crows is a murder. Poor corvids.

    It always amused me that it’s a murder of crows, but an unkindness of ravens. Apparently ravens are big & scary enough that nobody wants to insult them too blatantly!

  16. 16
    NotMax says:

    One more.

    Elbridge Gerry’s name became the lower-case gerrymander. Taking a cue from that, perhaps use the name of a vile (and reviled) propagandist.

    A goebbelsclan of Breitbartistas.

    Or, a goebbelswamp of Breitbartistas.

  17. 17
    kuvasz says:

    “A twerp [is] a guy who put a set of false teeth up his rear end and bit the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. A snarf is someone who sniffs girls’ bicycle seats.”
    Kurt Vonnegut

    Both terms apply to those carbuncles of humanity.

  18. 18
    joel hanes says:

    A viciousness of weasels

    A smear of Breitbrats

  19. 19
    max says:

    Anybody got a better suggestion?

    Using Breitbart’s name is unfair to someone who deserves to be forgotten. Further, they aren’t weasels – they are *also* weasels.

    I suggest an ineptitude of scumsuckers.

    max
    [‘And a shitstorm of bottomfeeders.’]

  20. 20
    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again) says:

    @Redshift:

    Ya think? Because it seems to me that most proven conspirators or plotters were incompetent enough to be found out. It’s really only the theorized, unproven conspirators who are competent.

  21. 21
    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again) says:

    @Redshift:

    Please pardon the political incorrectness, but: A pétard of retards.

  22. 22
    Tbone says:

    A douchebag of Breitbarts. It works on multiple levels.

  23. 23
    amk says:

    A brood of not-so-bright barts ?

    Glad the kenyan muslin usurper sent a stealth heart-attack drone to kill that mofo.

  24. 24
    Booda says:

    A slither of breitbrats. It conjures up that involuntary shudder of horror you experience when encountering snakes, worms, scorpions, and entitled douchebags

  25. 25
    YellowJournalism says:

    Slime. That says it all.

  26. 26
    joel hanes says:

    A fabrication of breitbrats.

    A resentment of breitbrats.

    A deceit of breitbrats.

    A fraud of breitbrats.

    A mendacity of breitbrats.

    A prevarication of breitbrats.

    A pustule of breitbrats.

  27. 27
    Pseudonym says:

    A shitstain of Brietbrats?

  28. 28
    Batocchio says:

    A confederacy of Breitbarts?

  29. 29
    Phoenician in a time of Romans says:

    The Breitbart Collective is a cocktrip of weasels.

  30. 30
    fuckwit says:

    AHA! I finally figured out what is the Rethug strategy to try to win the Latino vote for a generation:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MundoFox

    It’s once again… Rupert Murdoch at work. And here it is!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noticias_MundoFox

    Will it work? I dunno, FAUX succeeded hugely in brainwashing white folks.

    Notice the date this network launched. Just before the election…. too late to influence it, but Murdoch is playing a long game.

    Yes, I am already seeing this new network on display, on TV’s in taquerias around the area. And that worries me.

  31. 31
    Evolving Deep Southerner says:

    A fester of breitbrats?

  32. 32
  33. 33
    NotMax says:

    @ fuckwit

    And the cherry-picking and slant on individual stories purposefully rewoven from the same ones as aired on non-Spanish FOX.

  34. 34
    ponce says:

    A shart of Breitbarts.

  35. 35
    joel hanes says:

    A calumny of breitbrats

  36. 36
    rda909 says:

    Mark Ames can go fuck himself with Breitfart’s decomposing dick. That ass fooled me pre-Obama. Used read him a lot, until the most liberal President in our lifetimes, Barack Obama, began making more progressive change than any President perhaps ever, and with the most obstructionist Congress ever (basic fact), and this Ames idiot has devoted his life since to diminishing support for America’s Most Liberal President and Democrats in general. Case in point #734:
    http://exiledonline.com/ames-w.....to-notice/

    Extremely disappointed to see another person I have greatly admired in the past, Max Blumenthal, working with this racist clown Ames. White (Privilege) Power!

    We’re teetering on the brink of a complete take-over of our Democratic Republic by Billionaire Facists, and these stupid white-privileged fucks fall right into the “divide and conquer” trap over and over, by attacking the man who is single-handidly standing in their way and getting RE-ELECTED, rather than focusing on the the true evil – republicans and their enablers in the mainstream media. What a bunch of privileged tools…

  37. 37
    Joey Maloney says:

    A pustule of breitbrats.

  38. 38
    Zsa Zsa says:

    a cancer of Breitbarts

  39. 39
    Sgaile-beairt says:

    ‘ratfuckers’ is traditional….

  40. 40
    Schlemizel says:

    so many good choices – I picked my top 5 from those listed above (in order of appearance:
    A fart of Breitbarts
    A taint of Breitbarts
    A smear of Breitbrats
    A pustule of Breitbrats
    a cancer of Breitbarts

    and my own idea, which is weak but is an old family favorite:
    A quisling of Dimbarts

  41. 41
    SFAW says:

    A screech of Breitbrats?

    On the other hand, we might be approaching this from the wrong direction – perhaps it should be “a breitbart of X,” where “X” is a set of universally-hated (well, by rational/non-right-wing persons) objects.

    Such as:

    A breitbart of rapists (“legitimate” or otherwise)
    A breitbart of festering gobs sores
    A breitbart of Fox pundits
    A breitbart of snot-encrusted, syphilitic child molesters
    A breitbart of fracking-polluted aquifers
    A breitbart of Breitbrats

    usw.

  42. 42
    The Golux says:

    An excrescence of Breitbrats.

  43. 43
    JGabriel says:

    Anne Laurie @ Top:

    “Sneak” seems to be the consensus word for “a group of weasels”, but the flat noun doesn’t really capture the naked incompetence and adolescent pissiness of the Breitbrat collective. … Anybody got a better suggestion?

    Shits?

  44. 44
    Just One More Canuck says:

    An asshole of Breitbarts

  45. 45
    NorthLeft12 says:

    I thought of coterie of Breitbarts just because it sounds French and Un-American, but it really does not do this group justice.

    How about an asylum of Breitbarts?

    Or a feeble of Breitbarts.

    A botch of Breitbarts? Sort of a play on batch.

  46. 46
    Mathguy says:

    @Just One More Canuck:

    Spot on. Anything associated with defecation is the way to go. I also liked a fart of breibarts someone posted earlier.

  47. 47
    Wally Ballou says:

    A santorum of Breitbarts?

  48. 48
    The Golux says:

    A pantload of Breitbrats.

  49. 49
    Wally Ballou says:

    @rda909: Ames is also a misogynistic creep, among other things.

  50. 50
    DanF says:

    A craven of Brietbarts.

    But I also like Batoccico’s “A confederacy of Brietbarts.”

  51. 51
    eldorado says:

    Breitbart, for his part, collapsed on a sidewalk outside his home in Brentwood at the tender age of 43

    this is the best part of the post

  52. 52

    @Mandalay:

    Breitbart, the adoptive son of a wealthy West Los Angeles restauranteur

    “The authors don’t even know what ‘adoptive’ means…”

    The asshole authors printed “adoptive” to explain what damaged him in the first place. The authors are likely clueless about how many people in this world were adopted, but to them adoption is still this exotic thing that must be permanently damaging and result in dicks like Breitbart.

  53. 53
    zoot says:

    cretins
    goons
    dolts
    flotsam
    subhumanoid scum
    human waste or wasteage
    degenerates

  54. 54
    Citizen_X says:

    I’ll go with “a bag of salted dicks.”

  55. 55
    imonlylurking says:

    How about a cringe? A cringe of Breitbrats. (He is still dead, right?)

  56. 56
    Cheap Jim says:

    @Mandalay: Nor do they know enough to leave the n out of restaurateur.

  57. 57
    gelfling545 says:

    @Yutsano: My favorite is “a congress of baboons”.

  58. 58

    @Mathguy:

    Anything associated with defecation is the way to go

    Why not go strait for “A defecation of Breitbrats” then?

  59. 59
    Sanjuro says:

    A dastard of Breitbarts works for me but I like craven as well

  60. 60
    Friend of Hermes says:

    A snot-rag of Breitbarts?

  61. 61
    SFAW says:

    @imonlylurking:

    (He is still dead, right?)

    Yes, praise Jeebus and FSM.

  62. 62
    Evolving Deep Southerner says:

    @Roger Moore: Perfect. The winner.

  63. 63

    Alec Baldwin referred to Breitbart as “A Festering Boil on the Anus of Public Discourse”.

    So methinks maybe…”Known as furuncle, boils are round tender bumps filled with pus.
    If a group of boils occur in the same areas, these are then referred to as carbuncles.”

  64. 64
    Legalize says:

    A slither of Brietbats.

    A chode of Brietbats.

    A scat of Breitbarts.

    A coronary of Brietbarts.

    A coke of Breitbarts.

  65. 65
    kerFuFFler says:

    @The Golux: So many excellent choices….and then I read yours!
    A pantload of Breitbats, so perfect for the way they are always trying to get the ignorant rabble to shit themselves over one stupid thing or another.

  66. 66
    Pluky says:

    a wank of Brietbarts

  67. 67
    gocart mozart says:

    To stick with a Tea-Bag theme, how about:
    A Scrotum of Breitbarts?
    A Scrotum of teabaggers, etc

  68. 68
    LittlePig says:

    A speedbump of Breitbarts.

  69. 69
    Felinious Wench says:

    @Roger Moore: Defecation of Breitbarts is my vote. We can riff on that in many a future thread.

  70. 70
    Jebediah says:

    @Phoenician in a time of Romans:
    I like “cocktrip” – it is so descriptive of so many of their evil escapades.
    If we want to avoid memorializing the rotting bastard by using his name, and also want to avoid insulting actual weasels, maybe a shitsack of cocktrips? If the second s in “shitsack” is pronounced as a z, maybe the word morphs a little into a different, unique word that refers only to the breitbrats, leaving “shitsack” still available to refer to other, more generic assbumps.

  71. 71
    Wugmump says:

    A “peristalsis” or a “retch” of Brietbarts are the accepted groupings in some circles.

  72. 72
    Wugmump says:

    A conspiracy of Brietbarts?

  73. 73
    Wugmump says:

    @NotMax: Outstanding!

  74. 74
    Ed Drone says:

    A colostomy of Breitbrats?

    That encompasses nastiness as well as illness, both of which are indicative of the species. If there was a way to include the idea of the cancer on America they really are, I’d include it, too.

    Ed

  75. 75
    joel hanes says:

    A malignancy of breitbrats.

  76. 76
    Epicurus says:

    A turd pile. Or a cow pie, if you’re feeling kind.

  77. 77
    grumpy realist says:

    A schmiel of breitbrats.

  78. 78
    OmerosPeanut says:

    You know who else raged in beer halls?

  79. 79
    tones says:

    I don’t see that anyone has offered up this one :
    A “Blather” of Breit brats

  80. 80
    Patricia Kayden says:

    “The only thing holding them back: their faces and voices…”

    Dang, that’s mean.

    True, but so mean.

    What words capture the essence of the Breitbart collective? Deranged liars sounds pretty good to me. They’re fully deranged and all they do is lie. Just like other Rightwing media types.

  81. 81
    owlbear1 says:

    The Shit-Stain Twins.

  82. 82
    SparkleFarkle says:

    A turd of breitbarts

  83. 83
    LT says:

    A murder of Bretibarts?

    Oh wait – I got the question wrong…

    How about a faece of Breitbarts?

    A plop?

  84. 84
    LT says:

    Are you trying to sell us a subscription, Anne Laurie?

  85. 85
    Mickabroad says:

    @Sgaile-beairt: with a great deal of respect, I always took a ratfuck as referring to a group of college republicans. I think the correct term is a ‘trust fund of Breitbrats’. I’ll check the OED…

  86. 86
    LanceThruster says:

    A festering of Breitbarts.

  87. 87
    LanceThruster says:

    @LanceThruster:

    Like a hemorrhoid.

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