I have no idea what Mistermix is talking about– I have nothing but respect for each and everyone of you and recognize you for the unique souls that you are, each one of you an individual snowflake sparkling in the December morning sun. You are the green shoots pushing through tough March dirt who need to be nurtured and adored. I’m not so sure why Mistermix hates you all so much, but all I have to say is I love you.
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schrodinger's cat
Does this mean that the mustard has been found? Or did you raid Tunch’s catnip?
Villago Delenda Est
Oh, so now we know who the good cop is.
Amir Khalid
We wuv you too.
Just Some Fuckhead
Mistermix does seem to have some social interaction issues. Truthfully, I thought it was me but now I see it’s bigger than that. All we can do is love him as hard as we can and thereby show him how to love. It’s the only thing that works.
SatanicPanic
Nice tag there
Cassidy
One day, we’re gonna get a post with a pic of a Real Doll and we’re all gonna think, at least it isn’t someone else’s skin.
scav
I’m whimpering in fear over here, personally.
srv
@Just Some Fuckhead: Maybe if John gave him some more resposibility, like Blog Ombudsman?
askew
Cole seems too happy. Is it possible to get high from mustard?
OT – That was some speech Obama just gave in Israel. I don’t think it will make a damn bit of difference since no one in that region seems committed to giving anything up for peace. The Israeli/Arab media seems impressed with it and the US media is blaming Obama because there is no peace yet. So, doesn’t look like much has changed.
Violet
Everyone email Cole and tell him how much you love him!
Nicole
Why don’t you ever respond to my emails? I mean, I’m not gong to be ignored.
Comrade Mary
@Cassidy: WIN. Squick, but WIN.
LanceThruster
Get a room!
xD
srv
@Nicole: He only replies to T&H
c u n d gulag
Hmm…
I detect just a hint of insincerity.
dmsilev
Isn’t it too early in the day for heavy drinking?
muddy
@Just Some Fuckhead: This works well on interfering cats. If they pester me I pick them up and Love Them, and Squeeze Them and Kiss Them RIght On Their Little Kitty Lips! While saying the previous in a saccharine tone, it never fails.
I think that’s what John is trying to do here.
maya
Don’t tease me, bro.
ricky
Is this post supposed to be the equivalent of the State Of the Union pandering after the chief of staff called us retards and the press secretary called us pros?
BGinCHI
I don’t even love myself that much.
@maya: FTW.
Just Some Fuckhead
@srv: No, I think less responsibility would be more appropriate here. Maybe John could bring a new blogger onboard to take over some of Mistermix’s duties, perhaps another black urban professional that could speak to the hearts and minds of a blog audience that is largely elderly white shut-ins with four or more animals living vicariously through a a near-recluse hillbilly in West Virginia.
TaMara (BHF)
And with that my day is made. A little sarcasm, a little humor a little seltzer down your pants…
YellowJournalism
I think I just peed my pants in fear.
Punchy
John, a little early to polish off a fifth of gin, eh?
Soonergrunt
Who are you, and what have you done with John Cole?
gogol's wife
I was definitely confused because I thought that post was by DougJ (the long, long nym mixed me up), and it seemed SO uncharacteristic. Then I realized it was mistermix and I calmed down.
gbear
@Just Some Fuckhead:
That pretty much nails it except for noting that we’re all reading and commenting while we’re at work.
Zandar
Man, you higher than shit.
Highway Rob
Clearly either a rainbow-shitting unicorn or a cadre of fluffy bunnies invaded Cole’s house and held him at gunpoint to make him write this post.
(This little movie ends with Tunch as Bruce-Willis-in-Die-Hard violently rescuing our favorite misanthropic bloghost.)
BGinCHI
@gbear: Some day it will be revealed that all the FPers and all the commenters are incarcerated.
WereBear
I do that too. It’s a great technique I call The Hug Monster.
ET
Were you drunk or just up too late?
ranchandsyrup
John is Dr. Frankenstein. This blog is his hated creation.
burnspbesq
@dmsilev:
Cole has the magical ability to instantly teleport to any time zone in which it isn’t too early in the day.
Redshirt
I just puked up a rainbow.
Comrade Mary
@WereBear: That is so sweet and obviously so effective.
Reminds me of this, too.
cckids
@muddy:
Ha! My kids do this to our cats when they are trying to read/game/homework. They call it the “Too Much Love” technique.
Eric NNY
I wish you all would stop stepping on my comments.
Forum Transmitted Disease
You’ve found a way to kill people through a computer screen, haven’t you, Cole?
Omnes Omnibus
Tussin?
pk
Are you ill? Did you fall on your head or something?
Trollhattan
@dmsilev:
It’s always happy hour, somewhere.
I’m going with mustard coma.
Trollhattan
@Forum Transmitted Disease:
Wasn’t there a Star Trek episode with that? Has anybody seen bad Spock recently?
RP
I’m sick of myself when I look at you
something is beautiful and true
Michael G
I fear some sort of mustard and gin cocktail was involved.
Trollhattan
Speaking of cats and dogs sleeping together,
http://www.politico.com/blogs/media/2013/03/oreilly-slams-bachmann-for-trivial-criticisms-of-president-159895.html
Yeah, I know, Politico, and anyway, it allows O’Reilly to claim for the next…ever that why yes, he DOES call out Republicans, so there!
ranchandsyrup
@RP: Sweet Sweet reference
max
@Highway Rob: Clearly either a rainbow-shitting unicorn or a cadre of fluffy bunnies invaded Cole’s house and held him at gunpoint to make him write this post.
That was almost exactly what I thought of when I read the post – except it made me think of flying unicorns (a pegasus with a spike) with fart-assisted takeoff.
PBTHHHH SPUTTTT PBTHHHH … ZOOM! Taste the rainbow!
Which makes me think that could be Cole’s coat of arms: a flying, farting unicorn carrying pants & mustard.
max
[‘To the rescue!’]
Yutsano
@Omnes Omnibus: JC has indeed found the grape drank.
Barry
“I’m not so sure why Mistermix hates you all so much, but all I have to say is I love you.”
Everybody run, before John sobers up!
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
@BGinCHI:
And that they are all the same person.
Omnes Omnibus
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: I thought everyone knew that we are all DougJ.
@Yutsano: Or shitloads of X.
Roger Moore
All y’all need to read the damn tag, #notintendedtobeafactualstatement. Come on, folks, Cole is trolling you, making it obvious, and you’re still falling for it.
Omnes Omnibus
@Roger Moore:
Or playing along. Jesus, lighten up.
Trollhattan
@Roger Moore:
Who are we, as his minions, not to play along? It’s like his fuzzy crapcam photos–he’s a nerd and bloody well knows how to take a crisp, well-exposed photo. He doesn’t post any because it always stirs an angry mob.
Just how he likes us. Now, please excuse me while I go chant ten “Hail Tunches.”
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
@Omnes Omnibus: I am Doug Galt.
JustRuss
Thanks Cole. Now make the site faster and better, but for god’s sake, don’t change anything.
greennotGreen
And you, John, are the organic fertilizer that enables us to flourish here.
schrodinger's cat
@Trollhattan: anom!
Jay in Oregon
I’m treating this as an open thread.
The Senate passed a GOP-sponsored amendment barring the National Science Foundation from funding political science study of democracy and public policy.
http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/senate-delivers-a-devastating-blow-to-the-integrity-of-the-scientific-process-at-the-national-science-foundation-199221111.html
NonyNony
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:
I have long maintained that 100% of the FP posters and roughly 75% of the commentariat here are actually DougJ performing his most elaborate troll ever.
Trollhattan
@schrodinger’s cat:
IC what you did dere (took a second, several actually). :-)
comrade scott's agenda of rage
Alien pod people have taken over Cole. Somebody please go to WV and kill him.
For the sake of humanity and all that. ;)
Pococurante
@greennotGreen: You win the internet for today.
Please remember to place it back, gently, tomorrow.
JCJ
@greennotGreen:
Nicely done!
Maude
When’s the group hug?
I don’t wan to miss out.
karen
OT but it seems that some people in WV don’t agree with John Cole’s sentiment.
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/03/21/west-virginia-papers-anti-lgbt-column-wants-death-for-nggers-spics-kikes-and-wops/
dance around in your bones
You’re so vain
You prolly think this post is about y’all
Ash Can
Fuck you too.
ruemara
@WereBear: This does not work on my Takkun and WTF John, that’s some high grade hillbilly heroin you’re smoking. Or is it the ecstasy that does the loving feelings?
elftx
He likes us. He really likes us. o wait