My Boogie Shoes

So, this happened.

86 replies
  1. 1
    Alison says:

    “Republican sense of humor” has replaced “jumbo shrimp” as go-to example of an oxymoron.

  2. 2
    gordon schumway says:

    Meh, I prefer Alan Simpson as a dancer.

  3. 3
    c u n d gulag says:

    Jayzoos H. Keerist, making like he’s a “Whirling Dervish” while giving a sermon!

    If there’s one person who has proven themselves to have absolutely NO athletic prowess, or ability to dance, it’s MM.

    Stick to sneering, spitting, drooling, barking, howling, screaming, shrieking, rending of your hair and garments, and sending out your flying monkey’s, MM.

    No wonder Conservatives hate people with talent!

  4. 4
    c u n d gulag says:

    @Alison:
    Jumping the jumper jumping the shark, comes to mind!

  5. 5
    Amir Khalid says:

    Oh thank you. Now I have a KC & The Sunshine Band earworm.

  6. 6
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    The fail is fractal.

  7. 7

    Hard to judge who would win a dance contest between MM and David Gregory.

  8. 8
    dance around in your bones says:

    Wow, that’s so lame it’s hardly worth commenting on.

    Not that I could avoid it.

  9. 9
    DanF says:

    Um. Wow. Thanks Cole … I think.

  10. 10
    JenJen says:

    I’ve been tweeting about this for days. I miss the spazzy jumps of The Cheerleader Video, but this is a good runner-up and the facial expressions are just as excruciating!

    Oh, Malkin. Please just stop.

  11. 11
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    I don’t want to judge until I see her perform naked.

  12. 12
    Robert says:

    This just happened? It sure did. Suddenly the not really the Harlem Shake videos seem fine by comparison.

  13. 13
    scav says:

    Speaking of shoe news, the pope’s gunna hang up his red ones, but keep the white robes. Also insisted on maintaining the “Pope” instead of “Bishop of Rome” side to his Emeritis title. Suiting up for his Benedict the Theoretically Friendly Ghost of the Vatican role?

    Mr Pod is in a snit, won’t let me link. Guard as usual for detail, plus snappy photo of red slippers

  14. 14
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @c u n d gulag: Nice image.

  15. 15
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @scav: So instead of the AntiPope, he’ll be the GrannyPope.

  16. 16
    nemesis says:

    I hear MM looks exactly like pron star Dana Vespoli. Thats what Im hearing from the kids down in the mix out on the streets and shit.

  17. 17
    scav says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: He’s German, could we go for Opa Popa?

  18. 18
    thalarctos says:

    @The Ancient Randonneur: The only clear result is that all the rest of us would lose.

  19. 19
    Poopyman says:

    If it keeps her from ogling my countertops, I’m all for it.

    … As long as I don’t have to see it myself, and I’m not clickin’ that link.

  20. 20
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @scav: How about the Wholly Mother instead of the Holy Father?

  21. 21
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @nemesis: Is she famous for rage-gasms as well?

  22. 22
    Ash says:

    After many a viewing, dies the “got a thing about Asian girls” boner…

    Oh my god… Tbogg’s right! Damn you, Michelle Malkin!!!!!

  23. 23
    Poopyman says:

    @scav: I heard they’re retiring red shoes altogether, and the next pope is going to have plain brown ones. Perhaps a pair of sensible shoes, like flats. Maybe pumps if the occasion is right.

  24. 24
    red dog says:

    Gangnam style parody or just the second bad Asian dance craze?

  25. 25
    Just One More Canuck says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Someone here suggested “Dowager Pope”

  26. 26
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Poopyman: Maybe some Louboutin heels with their red soles?

  27. 27
    celticdragonchick says:

    What the fuck is the “flying Menendez” thing about…and how far do you have to go into wingnut land to find out what the joke even is???

  28. 28
    cckids says:

    Jesus. That an employed adult would not only think that up but actually film it & post it, thinking it is humorous or witty in some way is a pointer to what is wrong with today’s conservatives. They live in their own little reality.

    I just finished “Guests of the Ayatollah” by Mark Bowden, and I was struck by the resemblance in attitude of the student hostage takers to so many on the right wing today. “We are right because our God tells us so. Your “facts” are irrelevant to us. WE ARE RIGHT”. Scary.

  29. 29
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Poopyman:

    Maybe they’ll get a Franciscan and he’ll wear sandals? That’s kinda their thing.

  30. 30
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @celticdragonchick:

    For most people, Malkin’s comedy goes over like a granite countertop.

  31. 31
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @celticdragonchick: Sen. Menendez (D-NJ) ended up reimbursing his campaign for some private flights or something like that.

  32. 32

    @Poopyman: How about platform pumps that look like hooves? More appropriate don’t you think?

  33. 33
    Svensker says:

    @celticdragonchick:

    Sen. Menendez (D-NJ, also divorced) is accused/suspected of flying off to the Caribbean for some prostitutin’ sexy time. Also, too, there may have been some shaky money behind the payment for the fights.

    This is supposed to be a huge scandal. From the party that brought you David Vitter.

  34. 34
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: Too much Lady Gaga, not enough Dorothy. You have to know your target demographic group.

  35. 35
    p.a. says:

    But how does it play in Branson?

  36. 36
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    She “dances” like someone with severe arthritis.

  37. 37
    kc says:

    I’m not watching that goddamned video. So maybe someone will kindly tell me why she’s wearing that wig?

  38. 38
    kc says:

    Also, too, I want to know why Malkin, who is a total ass-clown IN ADDITION to being a professional hater, gets weekly column space in my motherfucking newspaper.

    Shit, why not just syndicate a weekly Ted Nugent column?

    God DAMN, I’m in a bad mood.

  39. 39
    Cassidy says:

    I’m not watching that goddamned video. So maybe someone will kindly tell me why she’s wearing that wig?

    Ahhhh…the unfortunate beginning to a regretful weekend.

  40. 40
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @kc: It is supposed to be a parody of this. The wig is her interpretation of FLOTUS hair I guess.

  41. 41
    Trollhattan says:

    Unclever people who believe themselves clever take insufferability to new and dizzying heights.

    The good news–thousands of idiotswingers will laud her for “Really sticking it to the Liebruls this time” and we can expect more.

    May I take your order?
    Yes, I’d like one comet, please.
    And how would you like your comet, sir?
    Hard and inside, thanks, right about equator level.
    We’ll get right on that, sir.

  42. 42
    👽 Martin says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Unfortunately, anyone under the age of 50 cannot help but be pleased and amused that we have a first lady willing to go on TV and dance and be funny and act like a normal person and embarrass her kids.

    Parodying that in a divisive way is a monument to failure.

  43. 43
    kc says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Ahh. Thanks.

    Good Christ, I can’t believe this woman gets any airtime or column space.

    I think I’ll go look up that Malkin/Bat Boy pic to cheer myself up . . .

  44. 44
    Petorado says:

    Oh, bless her silly little heart for trying to stay relevant in some way –any way — to political pop culture.

    … So back to obscurity you go now you clever little minx.

  45. 45
    Citizen_X says:

    @red dog:

    the second bad Asian dance craze?

    No matter how sick you may be of Gangnum Style, Psy is a thousand times better at dancing than Malkin.

    So’s Michelle O.

  46. 46
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @👽 Martin:

    Parodying that in a divisive way is a monument to failure.

    Dude, it was Malkin. Everything she does is a monument to failure.

  47. 47
    ksmiami says:

    yeah – I want to join THAT group… /facepalm. Gee I wonder why The Republitards have a youth problem???

  48. 48
    Roger Moore says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    I don’t want to judge until I see her perform naked.

    After which you’ll want to gouge your eyes out. No thank you, sir.

  49. 49
    Trollhattan says:

    @kc:

    Sheit’s in your paper? Yikes.

    Ours (McClatchy) for unknowable reasons gives us daily heapings of WaPo’s “finest” by which I mean Will, Ruben, Krauthammer and Parker. Somebody has yet to ‘splain to me why I pay for this, especially since I don’t have a parrot.

  50. 50

    @Omnes Omnibus: Malkin cannot dance, she has two left feet while FLOTUS is a graceful dancer. The joke is on Malkin, she comes of as an idiot.

  51. 51
    Cassidy says:

    @Roger Moore: Eh, a few shots of whiskey and keep the camera below the neck. It’ll do the job.

    I know, I know, incredibly sexist…sometimes you can’t help it.

  52. 52
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: She is one of the objectively attractive women out there whose personality completely wipes out any physical appeal they might have had. I can be really shallow in this regard, but there are limits.

  53. 53
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @schrodinger’s cat: Fallon’s drag version of suburban mom dances better than Malkin.

  54. 54
    chopper says:

    well, i can’t unsee that.

  55. 55
    ricky says:

    OK, watched it all. I admit it. The dude at the Oscars with the booby song wasn’t that bad after all. And the “c” word would surely apply here, since she is a grown up, but for the fact that she is a person “de color” from a nation we stole from somebody.

  56. 56
    Linda Featheringill says:

    I had never seen Ms. Malkin. Don’t think I’ve ever seen a grown woman who is that asexual. Hmmm.

  57. 57
    ricky says:

    @Linda Featheringill: You need to catch her cross eyed without the shades, hissing out dialogue in one of the roles FOX casts her in when they make “talkies.”

  58. 58

    @Omnes Omnibus: She is always snarling, that is what makes her unattractive, but since I am not a man, I don’t really know whether men would find that off-putting.

  59. 59
    Ash Can says:

    @👽 Martin:

    anyone under the age of 50 cannot help but be pleased and amused that we have a first lady willing to go on TV and dance and be funny and act like a normal person and embarrass her kids.

    Michelle O’s gestures in the “Where Is Your Father? Get Him Over Here NOW” part of that skit were so hilariously genuine that I was able to TOTALLY see the “oh shit” looks on the faces of Barack and the girls. :D

    As for Malkin, well, I just feel sad for her.

  60. 60
    Trollhattan says:

    @Linda Featheringill:

    Speaking as a guy person, for me there are very roughly two kinds of skinny–this Malkin androgynous kind and the Olivia Wilde kind. I’m quite enthusiastic about the second and I guess I’d need to be a cardinal or something to appreciate the first.

    Even if I weren’t aware of the stalking, sneering, snarling side of Malkin she’d do nothing for my pulse rate, regardless. Lasted about fifteen seconds into the vid. There’s no “there” there.

  61. 61
    PurpleGirl says:

    @👽 Martin: Hey, wait a minute… I’m 60 and I’m very happy to have a FLOTUS like Michelle O. She’s one well put together lady. She’s seems relaxed in her role and able and happy to do all kinds of stuff. I love her.

  62. 62
    Console says:

    Say what you will, that beat goes harder than a motherfucker

  63. 63
    Central Planning says:

    So, is there a list of the things she’s supposed to be mocking? I don’t get the golf thing, and I don’t know why she thinks a Prius can run out of battery.

  64. 64
  65. 65
    jibeaux says:

    @Ash: “Many a viewing”? Your own damn fault.

  66. 66
    ruemara says:

    @kc: Michelle Obama bangs for extra hatin’.

  67. 67
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Central Planning: The rethuglicals think that President Obama spends too much time playing golf. They forget all the time G.W. Bush spent on the links and on vacation.

  68. 68
    shortstop says:

    @PurpleGirl: Canna prove it, but I suspect what they really think is that Obama plays too much golf for being a black man.

  69. 69
    Paul in KY says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Looks better, too.

  70. 70
    Michele C says:

    You know, when you all post links to stuff like this, I wonder why I read Balloon Juice all the time.

    That weird face she makes for “the finger of blame” is terrifying.

    I agree with @chopper, I can’t unsee that.

  71. 71
    Felonius Monk says:

    Please, Cole. I’m not here for pornography.

  72. 72
    PurpleGirl says:

    @shortstop: Yeah, that could be true too.

  73. 73
    shortstop says:

    @PurpleGirl: The third baseman just now: “Yeah, what they’re thinkin’ is that he should be doing a little more caddyin’ and a little less golfin’.”

  74. 74
    danielx says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    I don’t want to judge until I see her perform naked.

    Following which you won’t be able to type because you’ll have plunged knitting needles into your eyes.

    So don’t.

  75. 75
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: My dick is pretty good at putting those kinds of concerns to the side.

  76. 76
    Citizen Alan says:

    I like to think I was as offended as anyone else here by the Onion joke about Quvenzhané Wallis. But honestly? I don’t think I could be in the same room with Michelle Malkin for more than twenty seconds without screaming the C-word at her at the top of my lungs. Ditto Ann Coulter, Jennifer Rubin, Sarah Palin, Virginia Foxx, and Marsha Blackburn, to name but a few. Just the sound of their voices or even a glimpse of their faces, and I get this burning itch at the back of my throat and a nervous twitch in my right eye as the vilest word I know struggles to escape.

  77. 77
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Citizen Alan: Why go for a sexist term when nice gender neutral expressions like “fucking asshole” exist?

  78. 78
    Funkula says:

    She reminds me of the yellow suit guy in Gangnam style (which, until I looked it up just now, I always thought was a woman in drag). But with way worse moves.

  79. 79
    AnotherBruce says:

    I haven’t watched Seinfeld for awhile, but I guess Elaine’s dancing needed to be updated. Not.

  80. 80
    Gravenstone says:

    Damn you people are slipping here. MM can’t dance.

  81. 81
    Gravenstone says:

    @nemesis:

    I hear MM looks exactly like pron star Dana Vespoli. Thats what Im hearing from the kids down in the mix out on the streets and shit.

    What did Miss Vespoli ever do to you to earn such a heinous comparison?

  82. 82
    SmallAxe says:

    Definitely could use more cowbell

  83. 83
    Citizen Alan says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Why go for a sexist term when nice gender neutral expressions like “fucking asshole” exist?

    I didn’t say I was proud of it. When one is consumed by burning righteous fury, one doesn’t stop to consider the broader sociological implications of one’s insults. You just fling them and then feel guilty later. Also, it’s kind of hard for me to feel guilty about thinking that word about some Republican women given the existence of Citizens United Not Timid.

    Also, also: Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always felt that “asshole” implied masculine. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman referred to as an asshole.

  84. 84
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Citizen Alan:

    I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman referred to as an asshole.

    It’s been done. Trust me.

  85. 85
    The Sailor says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    The fail is fractal.

    You’re confusing fractal with chaotic.

  86. 86
    Cain says:

    green balloons! Green balloons!

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