Open Thread

I know you don’t care, but I almost just died. Ok, maybe not. But I felt like it. I had the hiccups for 45 minutes and was very seriously close to ending it all, but I chugged a bunch of warm club soda, let out a solid belch, and seem to be ok. Big middle finger to the moron who thought sugar under my tongue while bending over would solve the hiccups.

What have you all heard of the movie the Impossible? I think dad and I are going to go break the hearts of the poor Asian ladies and go for manicures with our mangled ass calloused feet, then hit lunch, and then to the movies.






160 replies
  1. 1
    The Dangerman says:

    …I chugged a bunch of warm club soda, let out a solid belch…

    This is why videocameras were invented.

  2. 2
    Svensker says:

    As a frequent hiccuper I’ve found the only thing that really works for me (unless drinking a whole buncha liquid all at once does the trick) is lying down and meditating my way to a calm diaphragm. Reeelaaaaax the diaphragm. Reeelllaaaaxxxxxx. Callmmmmmmmmm the muscle. Caaaaallllmmmmm.

    Has the side benefit of making me feel all refreshed and rested.

  3. 3
    Ted & Hellen says:

    After the Tsunami hits, the movie is fairly dull and predictable. But special effects are great.

  4. 4
    Violet says:

    My fourth grade teacher took any kid who was hiccuping down to the water fountain, told them to drink while she held the kid’s ears closed. Seemed to work every time. Don’t know if drinking while hunching over (because of the water fountain) is essential. Maybe just drinking out of a glass would work. Not sure how one would do it on their own–maybe use a straw? It has worked for me every time I’m used it, though.

  5. 5
    Ted & Hellen says:

    Hiccups: Big-ass heaping serving spoon full of dry white sugar, swallowed as dry as possible, almost always works for me.

    But I hardly ever get hiccups since I, you know, stopped drinking like a fish.

  6. 6
    Jade Jordan says:

    Father Son Mani Pedi’s – so not OK for WV Hillbillies. Please consider a day of toothless 4 wheeling.

  7. 7
    Violet says:

    I think dad and I are going to go break the hearts of the poor Asian ladies and go for manicures with our mangled ass calloused feet,

    Tip them well.

  8. 8
    danah gaz says:

    “and go for manicures with our mangled ass calloused feet”

    That’s a pedicure, sweetheart.

    A manicure involves your fingers.

  9. 9
    Tokyokie says:

    The Impossible has a Spanish director, a Spanish scenarist, a largely Spanish crew and the studio stuff was shot in Spain (although the special effects were done in München) and tells the true story of a Spanish family. So why did they feel the necessity of hiring native English-speakers to play the leads? Did the Spanish producers think audiences wouldn’t have had sympathy for the family’s plight had Mom and Dad been played by Javier Bardem and Penélope Cruz?

  10. 10
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    It’s prolly a little late for lunch.

  11. 11
    Bruuuuce says:

    From several years ago, the best hiccup cure I’ve ever found was posted by Diane Duane in a comment at Making Light:

    Hiccups are the result of a blood serum electrolyte balance. The causes are various: talking too much while eating (my favorite), eating or drinking too fast, etc etc, whatever. Different causes tend to induce different kinds of imbalance. The imbalances are these:

    (a) Respiratory acidosis — too much CO2 in the blood.

    (b) Respiratory alkalosis — too little CO2 in the blood.

    It turns out that the smartest and fastest way to derail the hiccups themselves is to quickly *increase* the imbalance significantly…

    (Part 1:) Juli got this one right. Take a large spoonful of sugar, dry, in the mouth, and let it dissolve…
    If this doesn’t work, the hiccuper has a worse case of acidosis than mere sugar can deal with. So we take the intervention up a notch.

    (Part 2:) Take one small spoonful of salt (the equivalent of a cooking teaspoon is plenty). Again, hold in the mouth and let it dissolve. It’s gross, but in the next 20% of hiccupers, the hiccups will stop. Bang, right away.

    If neither of these steps work, then your hiccuper is not in acidosis, but in alkalosis. So you switch tactics.

    (Part 3:) Give the hiccuper a lemon slice and tell them to chew on it. Their hiccups will then vanish.

    So far, I’ve only had to go to salt once, and it is not pleasant. But it worked.

  12. 12
    lectric lady says:

    Three generations of my family have always had success with the vinegar solution. Swallow, all at once, 1 T of cider vinegar. Works for us every time.

  13. 13
    JPL says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: It’s West Virginia and they have a different time zone.

  14. 14
    lojasmo says:

    Never going to even rent that movie. Yuck.

    As noted above, pedicures are for feet.

    I love a mani/pedi though.

    hiccoughs….usually I just will them away. I have had about two sets in twenty five years that have lasted more than a minute.

  15. 15
    JPL says:

    @Bruuuuce: The first step always worked for me.

  16. 16
    rdale says:

    Easy way to get rid of hiccups: make yourself breathe really hard, by running up flights of stairs, doing some kind of aerobic exercise that makes you breathe hard. It’s a spasm in your diaphragm, right? So you make the diaphragm work hard and they go away. Works every time.

  17. 17
    Ted & Hellen says:

    @Tokyokie:

    The producers are obviously Nazi-level racists. What other reason could there be?

  18. 18
    Ben Franklin says:

    Jesus H….hiccoughs.

  19. 19
    desertflower says:

    I have the perfect no fail solution for hiccups…do you want to know what it is for future reference, or did you secretly LIKE that warm club soda? :) Ah. The thought makes me want to heave!

  20. 20
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Tokyokie:

    It usually has to do with who says “Hollywood” to global audiences. I realize it sounds weird to say that an Australian actress and a Scottish actor are “Hollywood,” but it’s true.

    Plus Cruz and Bardem had a baby in 2011, so the timing for them to go to Thailand for several months probably would have been very bad.

    ETA: And when I say that they needed stars that said “Hollywood” to a global audience, I mean that would have been a requirement to get the financing to make the film.

  21. 21
    TaMara (BHF) says:

    I think dad and I are going to go break the hearts of the poor Asian ladies and go for manicures with our mangled ass calloused feet, then hit lunch, and then to the movies.

    Date night in WV.

    BTW, if you can press in on your diaphragm, it might take doing it in several spots on the diaphragm, you can usually get the spasm to stop.

  22. 22
    zzcool says:

    Generally, hiccups are caused by a diaphragm in spasm.

    As Svensker said earlier, deep breathing is very useful as you are consciously regulating the activation of the diaphragm. You may hiccup once or twice but as long as you take a deep breathe in and then hold it for as long as comfortable and then breathe out in a slow, controlled manner. Rinse and repeat as required.

    When people suggest drinking liquids etc. they are basically making you do the same thing except if you hiccup you’re more likely to choke.

  23. 23
    General Stuck says:

    Big middle finger to the moron who thought sugar under my tongue while bending over would solve the hiccups.

    No shit. Everybody knows you cure hiccups by drinking lizard piss while standing on your head from the roof ledge of a 13 story building. It has to be 13 story, though catpiss will work, also too.

  24. 24
    raven says:

    The Spirit Award are on in an hour on IFC.

  25. 25
    Redshirt says:

    Hold your breath and count to a thousand. Solves most health issues, I’ve found.

  26. 26
    JPL says:

    I happened to be reading the Washington Post online when their reporter was describing what was happening during the tsunami. The description was enough for me and will leave a lasting impression. I doubt I will see the movie.

  27. 27
    Jennifer says:

    Sugar under the tongue while bending over? Posh and balderdash.

    The cure is to bend at the waist and get a mouthful of water and swallow, while still being bent over. This means you’re drinking from the “wrong” side of the glass. Or you could use a straw, or a bottle. Whichever way, you’re in a posture that’s compressing the diaphragm and the action of swallowing forces it to work while it’s being compressed, which somehow short-circuits the hiccups and ends them.

    I wouldn’t recommend doing it in public or in front of strangers, but it absolutely does work.

  28. 28
    Bettencourt says:

    @Tokyokie:

    Probably because Bardem and Cruz are virtually the only Spanish actors who are also stars in other countries, and if you didn’t get them then you’d have to go with comparative unknowns for an (for Spain) expensive production.

    I love the film and have seen it three times, though nothing in it is quite as strong as the extraordinary tsunami scene. (supposedly the real woman Naomi Watts plays was very involved with the film — she even receives the story credit — and recommended Watts to play her).

  29. 29
    General Stuck says:

    I honestly didn’t think the manufactured crisis over Benghazi could be topped for mind numbing dumbfuckery, but alas I was wrong.

    Congrats to the “sequester clusterfuck”. It is all hands on dick, with every lame meme one could imagine being spun. Republicans, democrats, austifarians, it doesn’t matter. Every body is one on making it a puzzle for the ages, with world ending predictions, to , it don’t mean nothin’.

    Musical chairs for dunces.

  30. 30
    Little Boots says:

    for what it’s worth, i do care about you, and I’m glad you are okay.

    dick.

  31. 31
    Capt'n Kurt says:

    @Bruuuuce: I originally wanted to add a comment to say that the sugar cure has worked for me as well, though I have never heard that CO2 theory. I had learned that the grittiness of the sugar stimulated the vagus nerve, which disrupted the whole hiccupping process somehow. I dunno, I am not your, or any, doctor.

    So sugar or salt would be equally effective, I think (hell, so would sand as far as I know), but since sugar is way more palatable, you should just try a second spoonful of that instead of switching to salt. How either would affect CO2 levels is beyond me.

    But enough of that! While I was looking up hiccup/sugar/vagus nerve stuff, I found this. Charles Osborne has (almost) continuous hiccups, every ten seconds, for 68 years.

    I said almost continuously, because his hiccups stopped one time in 1948, but Stephen McDaniel punched him in the gut 2 hours later, restarting the hiccups.

    The Wikipedia article doesn’t explain who gut-puncher extraordinaire Stephan McDaniel is, but I believe we can assume he is an asshole.

    PS. Looks like the details on Osborne’s hiccup rate is all over the place. While Wikipedia says once every 10 seconds, or 6 times a minute, this page lists it at originally 40 times a minute, then slowing to 20 times a minute. Whatever. It’s still a heck of a lot of hiccups.

  32. 32
    Rosie Outlook says:

    My son hiccuped through the last half of my pregnancy. Second-hand hiccups must be life’s weirdest sensation, or at least in the top 5.

  33. 33
    gogol's wife says:

    @Ted & Hellen:

    The sugar works.

    So does holding your breath while drinking nine swallows of water. Don’t ask me why it’s nine. It’s something I heard in an old movie about 50 years ago (I wish I knew what movie that was), and it never fails.

  34. 34
    Little Boots says:

    you got a lot of issue, john.

    it’s okay, but what the hell is that about?

  35. 35
    Punchy says:

    Do me a fave and tip the living shit out of yer pedo-filers. When yer feet suck (like mine do), they deserve the 50% tip to scrape the flotsam and jetsam off your dogs….

  36. 36
    Little Boots says:

    I got issues, too.

    and where the hell is omnes?

  37. 37
    debbie says:

    Not something you want to try in public, but tilt your head back, open your mouth wide, and breathe deeply for about 30 seconds.

  38. 38

    There’s a Somerset Maugham story, “P&O”, about a man who dies from hiccups after weeks of agony.

  39. 39
    TooManyJens says:

    @gogol’s wife: I was just going to suggest drinking while holding one’s breath. Works for me every single time, but I don’t have to have nine swallows. One or two will do, and holding my breath as long as I can.

  40. 40
    VFX Lurker says:

    The Impossible won a Visual Effects Society award for Best Supporting Visual Effects.

    Speaking of which, a few hundred VFX artists plan to protest the Oscars tomorrow. Something about VFX films making lots of $$$ while the cash-strapped VFX shops burn and their artists starve.

    I plan to join the protest tomorrow. Should be fun!

  41. 41
    eemom says:

    I know you don’t care

    oh fer fuxsake, stop showing off. You know you could put up a post about farting in the wrong direction and 8 thousand people would show up with diagnostics, home remedies, paypal accounts and pledges of eternal love in the first five minutes.

  42. 42
    Little Boots says:

    I still think omnes should show.

  43. 43
    Donut says:

    Hiccups are caused by a spasm of your diaphragm.

    The only thing that makes them “go away” is you calming down enough to breathe normally. Your muscles need to relax, in other words.

    That’s it.

    Anyone telling you otherwise is full of shit.

  44. 44
    General Stuck says:

    At an annual Washington, D.C. meeting of the National Governors Association, Hawaii Gov. Neil Abercrombie (D) warned that if sequestration goes into effect as it’s set to next week, Pearl Harbor would be less secure.

    See what I mean. With the sequester, we are all Gilligan’s Island. Subject to invasion from Mars.

  45. 45
    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason says:

    @Ted & Hellen: The dry sugar didn’t work for me with a nasty case one drunken night. The bartender said, “Nah, try this instead.” It worked great. I was so drunk I didn’t remember what it was and still don’t. But rest assured, there’s a perfect hiccup cure out there somewhere.

  46. 46
    cckids says:

    @Rosie Outlook:

    My son hiccuped through the last half of my pregnancy. Second-hand hiccups must be life’s weirdest sensation, or at least in the top 5.

    Oh yeah. Both of my younger 2 were like this. It is a very strange feeling.

    And on the subject of the movie, I was very moved by it, though it was hard to watch some of the tsunami scenes. It may be a bit schmaltzy, but it works. I recommend it.

  47. 47
    Redshirt says:

    Can we just give this thread over to Little Boots and Taco sucking up to John?

    LB: Hold me John. John? John?! Can you hear me?
    Taco: Fuck you bot!

  48. 48
    Donut says:

    @debbie:

    That is decent advice, though I think you can get the same results if you just breathe in deep through the nose and exhale from your mouth.

    Again, your diaphragm needs to relax and stop spasming, which means stay calm and try to breathe as normally as possible. The more tense you get, the more your diaphragm will spasm.

    Doing stuff like drinking water or holding your breath is really an attempt to regulate your diaphragm. Your better off just focusing on taking deep, regular breaths and not freaking yourself out.

  49. 49
    JoyfulA says:

    When I was very little, the news on the radio every day for a while was that the pope had hiccups, the pope still had hiccups, the pop might die because he still had hiccups. Anybody know how that turned out?

    Then again, the story could have been a plot line on Our Gal Sunday, or Helen Trent, or some other of my mother’s soap operas.

  50. 50
    Little Boots says:

    goober

  51. 51
    gman says:

    Foolproof cure for hiccups: Drink very small amounts of water, one sip at a time, continuously. Don’t pause to breathe, don’t think about breathing, just keep sipping. For whatever reason, while you’re doing this you can’t really hiccup, & eventually the reflex is calmed. Much easier & more reliable than the sugar or salt methods.

  52. 52
    AHH onna Droid says:

    What is up with LePage cutting Medicaid in Maine. Only story I found was behind boston.com paywall.

  53. 53
    22over7 says:

    No, everyone ELSE is full of shit.

    I’ve endured hiccups at least twice a week for as long as I can remember, and water, drunk slowly, is the only cure. Sometimes it takes two glasses.

    Actually, different remedies work for different people. But this works for me. Geez I hate hiccups.

    Enjoy the pedicure, and enjoy the time with your dad.

  54. 54
    Patricia Kayden says:

    John Cole needs to write a book — a comedy book because all I could do was laugh when reading this post. Sorry. I know that hiccups for 45 minutes has got to be painful, but that 1st paragraph is hilarious. Especially the rage against the sugar under the tongue suggestion. Glad you’re better now.

    Enjoy your pedicure.

  55. 55
    Redshirt says:

    @AHH onna Droid: What are your specific questions? In general, he’s a dipshit Tea Bagger and follows the Tea Bagger line. That should explain it.

  56. 56
    Donut says:

    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hiccups/DS00975

    Please people, enough with the superstitious stuff:

  57. 57
  58. 58
    Mike in NC says:

    Wife has an extremely bizarre ritual for hiccups that involves placing a knife, handle down, in a glass of water, and then drinking it. I seldom have a problem like that, but breathing into a paper bag worked fine.

  59. 59
    Redshirt says:

    @Mike in NC: Does the knife go in her mouth when she drinks? Or off to the side?

  60. 60
    👽 Martin says:

    I can just concentrate and make them end. A bad run of the hiccups is two. I haven’t seen a third hiccup since I was a kid.

    Discipline, people.

  61. 61
    cmorenc says:

    Which is more annoying to you when you’re experiencing it: a case of frequent hiccups you cannot get rid of, or a case of frequent farts you cannot get rid of (especially if you’re caught out in a public place when it gets going).

  62. 62
    efgoldman says:

    @AHH onna Droid:

    What is up with LePage cutting Medicaid in Maine. Only story I found was behind boston.com paywall.

    Pure TeaHadi spite. Here’s a little bit of it – too “balanced” for my taste. In the glory days, the Globe would have ripped him a new one.

    By the end of the year, more than 44,000 Mainers — seniors, the disabled, parents, and childless adults — will be dropped from the government-subsidized health insurance program. They represent roughly 13 percent of the state’s Medicaid population, and include the very group that national health reform sought to insure through the Medicaid expansion the Supreme Court has deemed optional.
    LePage, meanwhile, seems an unlikely politician to wield such power. The oldest son of 18 children, he ran away from home at age 11, lived on the streets of this once-thriving mill town, and eventually was elected as a Tea Party-backed candidate in 2010.
    Now the paths of Bourgoin and LePage have crossed because the governor is among more than a dozen Republicans rejecting billions of federal dollars in Obamacare funding for Medicaid expansion. LePage is even going further, cutting benefits available before national health reform passed.
    The move would make Maine — one of 26 states to sue the Obama administration over the landmark health care law — the only state in New England to turn down federal money to expand Medicaid. By opting out, LePage is leaving more than $3 billion in federal funding on the table over a decade, money that could have gone toward insuring tens of thousands more of the state’s poorest adults.
    It is a decision born in the divisive presidential campaign and last year’s Supreme Court case, and fueled by political philosophy, a counter-intuitive maneuver that flies in the face of the more familiar pattern — politicians jockeying

    BTw, boston.com itself is not paywalled, but the Globe is. Some stories appear in full on boston.com, most do not.

  63. 63
    efgoldman says:

    @Mike in NC:

    …that involves placing a knife, handle down, in a glass of water, and then drinking it.

    Did she used to work in the circus?

  64. 64
    Tokyokie says:

    @Ted & Hellen: Well that’s just unfair. They’re Spanish after all, so they’d be Fascists.

  65. 65
    Mike in NC says:

    @Redshirt: Off to the side. But why???

  66. 66
    Kayla Rudbek says:

    Good thing about going to an sf convention: seeing & hearing Peter Davison live. Quite impressive. Bad thing about this convention: right-wing nut job and SF author Tom Kratmann was there as well. I’ve been around a fair amount of right-wing nut jobs in my day (and am a blood relative of at least one) but three minutes of listening to Kratmann talk and I have never heard anybody more poisonously angry in my entire life.

  67. 67
    Some Guy says:

    Cole, sure fire hiccup cure should you ever have this again: a generous spoonful of peanut butter. Do not doubt it, doubt not scoff. ALWAYS works. And its tasty. Fuck every other method ever conceived. All lies and bullshit that work by random chance. Peanut butter.

  68. 68
    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN) says:

    Gophers finish the regular season undefeated, the first NCAA women’s hockey team to ever do so. Now we just need seven straight playoff wins. The only down note was that Sam Downey reinjured her knee in warmups and I’d guess she’s done. As the founder and sole member of the Sam Downey Fan Club, this makes me sad.

  69. 69
    LongHairedWeirdo says:

    @Ted & Hellen: That (a dry-swallowed spoon of sugar) is what typically works for me.

    A deep breath held until I’m ready to pound on the floor and kick and scream can also help, but it does tend to have one side effect: I usually get one last hiccup just as I breathe out and try to suck in more air. (I suppose it’s a good test for ESP – if a person can’t hear you thinking “FUCK ME!!” or the equivalent at that moment, they’re not able to read minds, period.)

    Another thing that sometimes works on difficult cases is getting the person to try to hiccup. Not to *fake* a hiccup, anyone can do that, but to specifically to to make a hiccup happen. I suppose the idea is you start engaging the parts of the body that are doing that, and that helps you regain control, even though you can’t do it consciously.

  70. 70
    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN) says:

    Oh, and Minnetonka wins their third consecutive state title 3-1 over Hill-Murray. This despite playing 2 1/2 games of hockey against Lakeville North last night.

  71. 71
    Steeplejack says:

    Watching the first episode of Zero Hour off the DVR. Not off to a promising start. Memo to Anthony Edwards: turtle chin and stubbly neckbeard are not a good combination for a leading man.

  72. 72
    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN) says:

    One of my cats gets the hiccups sometimes when he starts purring really hard. Given that he is the most purr prone cat I’ve ever had, this is a fairly common occurrence.

  73. 73
    efgoldman says:

    @Redshirt:

    …he’s a dipshit Tea Bagger and follows the Tea Bagger line.

    You are gonna’ dump him next election, right? RIGHT!??

  74. 74
    cinesimon says:

    The Impossible, if it’s the Tsunami movie you mean, is really, terrible. Cliched, forced emotions, predictable.
    The documentaries via PBS and BBC were much more worthwhile, and far more emotionally wrenching.
    Just a badly stylized cut and paste of various real experiences, that were actually chronicled in the documentaries.

  75. 75
    muddy says:

    @Donut: @👽 Martin: So right. My doctor told me that the signals from both sides of your spine out to your diaphragm get just a millisecond out of step with each other. Breathing slowly and in a really controlled way, concentrating on your diaphragm will fix it.

    The reason people have all these little tricks that they swear by is that while concentrating on the trick they get the benefit of the concentration without realizing it. It’s got the magical part in it to distract you from the fact that it’s all in your mind.

  76. 76
    rda909 says:

    “I almost just died…I had the hiccups.” – Definition of Drama Queen.

  77. 77
    rda909 says:

    “I almost just died…I had the hiccups.” – Definition of Drama Queen.

  78. 78
    muddy says:

    I’ve just remembered that when my son was little I’d ask him if he wanted me to scare the hiccups out of him. He’d say no, and then I’d scare him anyway. Nice mom. Still, it cured his hiccups.

  79. 79
    dance around in your bones says:

    I always had good luck with just holding my breath until the hiccups went away.

    That said, I had a friend who was hospitalized with constant hiccups for about 4-5 days. That shit can kill you man, unless you stop them. I think they had to put him in a kind of come or something to stop them.

    John, weird shit happens to you.

  80. 80
    JoyceH says:

    The hiccup cure that has worked for me every time I’ve tried it since I heard of it several years ago was to inhale, then hold your breath for a count of 15 or 20. Then inhale, but DON’T exhale, and hold for another count.

  81. 81
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    Eat one hard boiled egg, one-half avocado, and six sticks of black liquorice, then fart into a paper or plastic bag and inhale the contents. It won’t cure your hiccups, but it will take your mind off of them.

  82. 82
    Gus says:

    Slice of lemon with bitters. Worked for me every time but one.

  83. 83
    Citizen_X says:

    Pah. You people. The only cure for hiccups is tax cuts.

  84. 84
    Schlemizel says:

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):

    Switched between the Gopher men & that game. I was stunned to see Mtka had that much left after playing till after 1AM this morning. I always enjoy seeing the private schools lose so I was glad I missed the small school game this afternoon,

    The Gopher Women finished the season undefeated, 34-0-0. Thats never been done before. It was an ugly game, the Huskeys took 9 penalties including 1 major (should have had another for contact to the head but the refs called it a minor) – I don’t think I have seen two games in 15 years where both teams combined for 9 penalties!

  85. 85
    MikeJ says:

    A girlfriend of mine had the absolute best possible hiccup cure based on the theory of getting you to not think about it. It never, ever, ever failed. If you had an orally talented girl around the house already you probably wouldn’t be posting to a blog telling us about your hiccups.

  86. 86
    Miki says:

    Pope Pius XII had a case of terminal hiccups, or so they say. The 2nd-ex (R.I.P.) was terrified of them, thanks to his Italian Mama telling him a story about it …. Fourteen years later and I still miss that man ( the 2nd-ex, not the Pope).

  87. 87
    Schlemizel says:

    I am not complaining – only noting – WP is up to its old tricks again.

  88. 88
    jibeaux says:

    John, I’m sure you didn’t almost die, but I bet it was comparable to what Iranian protesters went through in the Arab Spring.

  89. 89
    dance around in your bones says:

    @dance around in your bones:

    Of course I meant coma, but who knows? Maybe a good come would work.

    ETA: And of course, MikeJ got there before me.

  90. 90
    Schlemizel says:

    @dance around in your bones:

    Always cured whatever was bothering me

  91. 91
    Msskwesq says:

    @eemom: you are so right! LOL!

  92. 92
    Redshirt says:

    @efgoldman: @71

    I sure hope so. I’ll do my part. But the 3rd party Independent guy, Eliot Cutler, is talking big about running again. And the Dems can’t NOT run someone, right? And so whammo – we’re setting up the same 3 way dynamic that got Paul 38% Lepage the Governorship. Mind you Cutler got 36% of the vote in 2010, and he’s a liberal Independent. The Dems got 19% and then some other Independent dude got 5%. Total crazy show, as Maine is a 60% Liberal state, and I urge you all to consider this example whenever thinking about 3 way (or more) elections. Heaven help us if 27% is enough to win an election.

  93. 93
    PurpleGirl says:

    @dance around in your bones: I was watching one of those true ER stories shows and one case was a woman with hiccups for several days. Intense constant hiccups. The doctors and nurses tried several things, her boyfriend was freaking out that the medical people didn’t know what to do, the woman just laid there hiccupping. I forget how they finally got them to stop.

  94. 94
    dance around in your bones says:

    @Schlemizel:

    Indeed. After a good come, all’s right with the world.

  95. 95
    Denali says:

    Just finally saw Life of Pi this afternoon. It was amazing! Forget the tsunami movie.

  96. 96
    Schlemizel says:

    @dance around in your bones:

    Well, to be completely honest, I don’t think the sheep always agrees but I do.

  97. 97
    dance around in your bones says:

    @PurpleGirl:

    Yes, this really did happen to a friend of mine. I think they induced a sort of coma to get his diaphragm to relax. It was serious shit. He almost died, so I think John saying he almost died isn’t quite in the Drama King Zone.

    Except for him it only lasted 45 minutes.

    Ok, Drama King.

  98. 98
    dance around in your bones says:

    @Schlemizel:

    Aw, you’re just pushing them through the fence, right?

  99. 99
    Jay C says:

    45 minutes of hiccuping must have been a serious PITA, but at least you seem to have stopped them with no damage. I used to think they were just a semi-comic annoyance, too: until an evening 15 years ago when 2+ hours of hiccups (with “fixes” not helping) led wife & friends to take me the local ER: where the staff were also mildly amused: til my last hiccup hurled about a half-pint of blood onto the ER floor. They stopped chuckling after that. (Prescription NSAIDs had eaten away my stomach lining: I quickly called the Dr., whose sage advice was “stop taking them!” Thanks, Doc….)

    Most of the time it’s just annoying: if they go on for any length of time (like over an hour) think seriously about going for help.

  100. 100
    hilzoy says:

    Tell me about it.

    I am allergic to only two (2) things on earth, both utterly obscure medications, both of which I took and then quickly stopped taking when I was 13-14. One made me hiccup for FOUR DAYS. The really horrible part was the FOUR NIGHTS in which, since I was hiccuping, I could not sleep.

    I had never thought that hiccups could possibly make a person so miserable.

  101. 101
    Schlemizel says:

    @dance around in your bones:

    Can’t help it, its the Scot in me. Kilts are good because sheep are scared by the sound of a zipper

  102. 102
    Redshirt says:

    I remember reading in the Guinness World Record book about some poor soul who was hiccuping for 45 years or something. Can you imagine? I suppose he’s gotten used to it, to some degree. But {HICK} still.

  103. 103
    SatanicPanic says:

    @jibeaux: As bad or worse than being waterboarded?

  104. 104
    Suffern ACE says:

    Pickle juice with sugar for the hiccups.

    Went to see “No, the Movie”. I thought it was better than Amour, which will probably win best foreign language film tomorrow. Although I’ve not seen the others.

  105. 105
    dance around in your bones says:

    @Schlemizel:

    Oh yes, I could see how a kilt could be pretty handy :)

    Never scare a sheep with a zipper.

  106. 106
    some guy says:

    Our friends in jihad are kicking ass.

    ” “Yesterday US officials blocked a Russian-sponsored resolution at the United Nations Security Council condemning Thursday’s multiple terror bombings in the Syrian capital, Damascus. The death toll of the bombings, which came amid the ongoing US-led proxy war to oust Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, rose to 83 yesterday, with over 200 wounded. Some 22 people died in three car bombings in northern Damascus. The main car bomb in central Damascus near the ruling Baath Party headquarters and a school killed 63, including many children.””

    funny, neither the Times nor WaPo took much notice of this recent terror campaign our allies.

  107. 107
    Joseph Nobles says:

    Hiccup remedies. Umm, try tying a bandana on your head, stripping down to everything but underwear, and then running out in the road, spinning around three times, while saying, “I’m a little teapot.” Yeah, that’s the ticket.

    Pics or it didn’t work.

    If that doesn’t work, I’ve heard about another one that involves a stalk of celery and some WD-40. But that’s only for extreme cases. Again, pics or you might as well not even try.

    (On the serious side, I’ve always stopped whatever I was doing on the very first hiccup and just did slow, deep breaths. Most times I won’t even get a second one. It’s not as effective if you let it get established, I’ve found. The very first one – stop, breath, and then roll.)

  108. 108
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    My hiccup ‘cure’:

    – Pour large glass of milk.
    – Take a deep breath.
    – Tighten chest muscles.
    – Slowly drink as much as the milk as you can (through clenched teeth is about the right speed) until you consume the glass of milk or need to breathe.
    – Slowly exhale and then follow with a slow, deep breath.
    – Lustily burp once and then wait until you know the hiccups are gone before belching again.

    Works every time for me. Another one I use in a pinch is to take a deep breath, tighten the chest muscles, suppress hiccups and belch in between the urges. Repeat until hiccups are gone.

    That takes a bit more work but works well enough when no milk is available. Water doesn’t seem to work as well as milk does.

  109. 109
    efgoldman says:

    @Joseph Nobles:

    Hiccup remedies. Umm, try tying a bandana on your head, stripping down to everything but underwear, and then running out in the road, spinning around three times, while saying, “I’m a little teapot.” Yeah, that’s the ticket.

    This one really works. I’ve used it several times.

  110. 110
    jamick6000 says:

    Ezra Klein is John Galt

  111. 111
    Redshirt says:

    In the Age of Aquarius, under the Moon of Diana, gather three young herbs of fresh dispensation and shred them over an altar of DVD cases chanting “Star Wars Original Blue Ray”, while sniffing a stiff Zinfandel.

  112. 112
    JoyfulA says:

    @Miki: That’s about the right timing. Pope Pius seems to have had several cases of long-lasting hiccoughs in the last decade of his life, according to Wikipedia, and it was probably the one in 1953 that I heard about on the radio so dramatically. Supposedly, he considered resigning because of his health during that time.

  113. 113
    Maude says:

    As a kid I knew hiccups could be dangerous. Nor good for babies either.
    The sugar always worked for me.
    45 minutes is a long time to have them. They get stronger.
    I am going to buy and keep a small bottle of club soda for just in case.

  114. 114
    Michael says:

    I thought this was pretty funny

    The Fountainhead in 5 Seconds

  115. 115
    Elizabelle says:

    @Denali:

    Planning to see Life of Pi tomorrow. 3D version’s the only one still around in DC area.

    Glad to hear you liked it.

  116. 116
    TheOtherWA says:

    Got my first pedicure recently. Loved it. They had massaging chairs so while my feet and lower legs were being pampered my back was getting treated too. Yes, I tipped well.

    I also saw Life of Pi today. It was wonderful! I’m not really a fan of 3d but this one deserved to be seen that way.

  117. 117
    Ash Can says:

    I’m too tipsy and way fucking too impatient to read this entire thread, but this is the surefire cure for hiccups that I’ve discovered, and this may have been posted here already: Take a big mouthful of water (or any favorite beverage), then bend forward so that your head is lower than your chest (hold onto something stable if necessary). Take small swallows to swallow all the liquid in your mouth — 6 or so small, even swallows. Then stand up straight, and give a big ol’ smile, because your hiccups are GONE-ASS GONE.

  118. 118
    Ruckus says:

    @dance around in your bones:
    First time I can recall that two people have won the internets with snappy repartee.

  119. 119
    dance around in your bones says:

    @Ruckus: I am honored, sir, honored, I say!

  120. 120
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    @Michael:
    And they kept all of the good parts!

  121. 121
    👽 Martin says:

    I would like to point out that every one of the so-called remedies above (various drinking exercises, etc.) involve concentrating and regulating your breathing.

    Have y’all ever considered just concentrating and regulating your breathing and skipping the water and all of the other hoojoo?

  122. 122
    Medrawt says:

    My family remedy – taught to my grandpa by an NYC bartender when he was in grad school – is quite similar to #4, but doesn’t involve bending. I suspect John, like the men in my family, has big enough hands to do it solo: pour a full glass of water, grab it between the fingertips of both hands, stop your ears with your thumbs, slowly drink the glass without pause, breathe calmly, don’t speak for a few seconds, then you’re fine.

    Obviously all of it is balderdash, for reasons already explained, but it’s effective balderdash, and it makes you look ridiculous in the process, so I stick with what works for me.

    When I was a boy my mother taught me I could stop an oncoming sneeze by pinching my little finger between thumb and ring finger. I have NO idea why it works, and presume it’s psychosomatic, but it’s never failed. (Maybe it really is purely about directing concentration elsewhere?)

  123. 123
    srv says:

    Not to be morbid or not because I don’t love John, but I think this community should consider taking out a life insurance policy on John.

    Not for the children, but for the animals.

    Those wanting to profit could set up a side pool on the method of death.

  124. 124
    Michael says:

    My never-failed remedy for hiccups is to take a long, slow, deep deep breath, and then hold it for 5-10 seconds, then exhale very slowly, then repeat. Usually by the 3rd or 4th time, the hiccups are gone. Always by the 5th.

  125. 125
    dance around in your bones says:

    @Medrawt:

    When I was a boy my mother taught me I could stop an oncoming sneeze by pinching my little finger between thumb and ring finger. I have NO idea why it works, and presume it’s psychosomatic, but it’s never failed. (Maybe it really is purely about directing concentration elsewhere?)

    Pinching the web between your thumb and first finger will stop a headache/hangover in its tracks, too. The hard part is in keeping the pinching up. I used to think about applying a clothespin to the area but was usually too hungover to actually do it.

    I don’t drink so much anymore, so haven’t had the necessity to apply that pressure so much. But – it really works! I have no idea why.

  126. 126
    JGabriel says:

    John Cole @ Top:

    Big middle finger to the moron who thought sugar under my tongue while bending over would solve the hiccups.

    Thumbs up to whoever convinced Cole to stick suger under his tongue and bend over. I’m busting a gut laughing at the visual.

  127. 127
    Yutsano says:

    @Michael: I got lost in the comments. There was a Randroid insisting all regulation is ebil and corporations would go under if they sold contaminated food, but don’t you dare sue them, cause that’s bad. I feel icky now.

  128. 128
    JGabriel says:

    John Cole @ Top:

    I think dad and I are going to go break the hearts of the poor Asian ladies and go for manicures …

    {JGabriel tilts head to right.}
    {Tilts head to left.}
    {Scratches head.}
    {Rests chin in palm.}
    {Decides he really doesn’t want to know any more than that, not to inquire further, and that it’s probably just best not to comment at all.}

    .

  129. 129
    Jewish Steel says:

    Quick! Name 10 flowers!

    The hiccup cure that works once or twice.

  130. 130
    joel hanes says:

    @Citizen_X:
    The only cure for hiccups is tax cuts.

    A contender on style points alone. The California judge is giving it a 9.5

  131. 131
    cckids says:

    @SatanicPanic:

    As bad or worse than being waterboarded?

    Waterboarding would probably stop the hiccups, tho.

  132. 132
    BillinGlendaleCA says:

    @Yutsano: Don’t read the comments on Young Ezra’s post on the sequester over on Wonkblog. That gave me an urge to start drinking again.

    ETA: I didn’t start drinking again.

  133. 133
    Amir Khalid says:

    What bugs me about The Impossible (I admit I haven’t seen it) is that it’s about a disaster that takes place in Asia and kills hundreds of thousands of Asians, including thousands in Thailand where the film is set. Yet whom the film chooses to focus on are white people from Europe.

  134. 134
    TS says:

    @Maude:

    As a kid I knew hiccups could be dangerous. Nor good for babies either.

    My babe had hiccups a lot for her first few months – every babe professional told me it was common and nothing to worry about at all.

  135. 135
    Suzanne says:

    Hiccups are, for me, brought on by only one thing: drinking Sprite (or 7up or Sierra Mist). And only when it’s fizzy and cold. If it’s warm, and/or flat, I’m okay. The hiccups last a least 45 minutes and are so strong that each one ends with a frog-like belch, and I feel exhausted afterward. No remedy makes them go away sooner.

  136. 136
    sb says:

    @Amir Khalid: I haven’t seen it, either, but the story of how a family of five survived while so many died fits the title. Additionally, I haven’t heard that the film was racially insensitive, FWIW.

    Not sure if I’ll see it.

  137. 137
    Redshirt says:

    Under the Moon of Diana, gather 3 Keys of Mt. Dew Extreme, and give your interview at basecamp: Psyched to be here. A real achievement. Humble but proud.

  138. 138
    Yutsano says:

    @Redshirt: Whatever you are on, u share naow plz. Kthxbai!

  139. 139
    Alison says:

    There is a show on Animal Planet called Too Cute! (with the exclamation point in the guide) and I’ve now watched almost two hours of it and it’s been just watching kittens in various households playing around. Playing with toys, climbing cat condos, one of them was trying to eat an iguana’s tail. (The iguana was another pet in the house that was apparently allowed to just chillax wherever and it was surprisingly nonchalant about the cat.) It’s like the Internet but on my TV. And it is, in fact, cute as a MFer.

    SATURDAY NIGHT, WHAT.

  140. 140
    Amir Khalid says:

    @sb:
    I’m not suggesting that the telling of the story was in any way racially insensitive. I’d be surprised if it were. But to choose a story about white people, set where it was, seems to me to place their experience of it before that of others’.

  141. 141
    SatanicPanic says:

    Saturday night, saturday night

  142. 142
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Rosie Outlook:

    My son hiccuped through the last half of my pregnancy.

    The old wives’ tale, when I was growing up, was that a hiccuping fetus would grow up to be a problem drinker.

    Of course, in a working-class Irish-American neighborhood, the odds were pretty much in favor.

  143. 143
  144. 144
    Redshirt says:

    @Yutsano: Ground up T&H w/ LB, apparently. Yay, me!

  145. 145
    Patrician says:

    Re hiccups?- if you are not alone put your arms out to your sides level with you shoulders and have someone feed you a glass of water. I was tahught shis by a Spanish lady and it works everytime.

  146. 146
    terben says:

    I know of three effective cures for hiccups. One of which I can vouch for.

    1. Digital rectal massage. (see )
    2. Orgasm.
    3. Apply pressure to the earlobe with the thumb and forefinger.
    Obviously some cures are more pleasant than others.

  147. 147
    HeartlandLiberal says:

    You do not put the sugar under your tongue, for Pete’s sake. You put a teaspoonful of sugar in your mouth, and try to swallow it as rapidly as you can, BEFORE

  148. 148
    HeartlandLiberal says:

    You do not put the sugar under your tongue, for Pete’s sake. You put a teaspoonful of sugar in your mouth, and try to swallow it as rapidly as you can, BEFORE it dissolves. It is the granularity of the sugar against the esophagus as you swallow that breaks the cycle of hiccups.

    I am dead serious about this. I have done this for decades, and it has never failed. And every friend I have told, after laughing at me first, thanked me after trying this and doing it right.

  149. 149
    Miki says:

    @JoyfulA: That’s probably the one the ex heard/was told about. He would have been 6 or 7 at the time and pretty impressionable. Poor kid …. I met him in his mid-30s and he was still terrified of them.

  150. 150
    Nicole says:

    I hated The Impossible. I actually found myself screaming, “You are a terrible father!” at Ewan McGregor’s character. And I am the sort to suffer bad movies in silence.

  151. 151
    Redshirt says:

    Seriously though, for any kind of ankle/knee sprain, balance on the afflicted leg. That’s it – balance. Stand on your left/right foot. This will over time not only cure you, but prevent future injuries.

  152. 152
    John says:

    @Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason: It was probably bitters on a piece of lime.

  153. 153
    Jennifer says:

    @Suzanne: I know how to cure your hiccups.

    Stop drinking cold Sprite, Sierra Mist, or 7Up.

  154. 154
    01jack says:

    Regarding all claims of hiccup cures: see confirmation bias.

  155. 155
    Ted & Hellen says:

    @Amir Khalid:

    Yet whom the film chooses to focus on are white people from Europe.

    This again.

    Surely you already know that the author of the book on which the film is based, the mother in the film, is a “white” person from Europe. Her family, her husband, and her children, are “white” people from Europe.

    Racist.

  156. 156
    HeartlandLiberal says:

    @01jack: How about science instead?

    A good cure also depends on the person you ask. Almost all cures are based on one of two principles. One type works its magic by overwhelming the vagus nerve with another sensation. The vagus nerve is a cranial nerve that innervates the stomach and conveys sensory information about the body’s organs to the brain. When distracted by overwhelming information of another sort, it basically tells the brain that something more important has come up and the hiccuping should probably be stopped (vagus nerve stimulation is also used to control seizures in epileptics and treat drug-resistant cases of clinical depression). The other method for curing hiccups is to interfere with breathing, increasing the amount of carbon dioxide in the blood, and causing the body to focus on getting rid of the of the CO2 and not making hiccups.

    Swallowing a spoonful of sugar is probably the most commonly prescribed hiccup cure and falls in the first category. A teaspoon of sugar is usually enough to stimulate the vagus nerve and make the body forget all about the hiccups. Even ardent supporters of the sugar cure disagree if the sugar should be taken dry or washed down with water, though.

    http://mentalfloss.com/article.....-cure-them

  157. 157
    Elizabeth says:

    I care.

    Also, the ONLY thing that works is to stretch your diaphragm, as THAT is where the spasm is. Bending backwards, if you can manage it, is the key. I lie on my back on the bed, then scootch myself over the edge, ending with my hands on the floor, and my back in an arc, stretching out my belly. I realize this maneuver isn’t for everyone, but something similar that gets the job done works.

    I scoff at drinks of all kinds. Stretches. That’s the ticket.

  158. 158
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    We need to use the tax code to deal with hack writing like this. Put out an oped this stupid, you instantly are billed for 150% of your yearly income for the year in which said hack writing was published.

    Goes up another 25% for each additional instance.

    Deficit problem solved very quickly.

  159. 159
    I_D_Inuse says:

    Will you PLEASE get over the fortysomethingoranothermyanimalsruleswhine? Age is suppose to be graceful after you learn to walk and quit believing snot on your upper lip is normal. At 2.5 years you should have figured out what Kleenex were for and whines,fat cats, adorable dictator dogs and one fluffy ruffle Supreme Ruler Lolcat does not take away your second amendment rights!! Way to go Cole.. the domestic overlords RULE!! Wayne Lapierre is winning. Cripes I will be eating cat food from now to coffin thanks to you—Simpson-Bowles Cole. Get those wingnut critters in a redistricted liberal frame of mind. Send them to TBogg’s Basset’s Intervention Liberal Therapy Sunshine On The Beach Rehabilitation Center. You will feel better I promise.

  160. 160
    moderateindy says:

    45 minutes…………sissy. After major spine surgery last summer I had some complications, one needed a tube to be stuffed up my nose then down my throat into my stomach. When it was removed a couple days later I began hiccuping, which lasted for 11 days. Miserable doesn’t even begin to describe it. Tried every home remedy anyone thought of, to no avail. The doctors said that the only thing that works is , I believe, Thorazine, which they wouldn’t give me because of the possible serious side effects. The worst part was lack of sleep. About two hours a day in 10-15 minute increments before the damned things woke me. The one thing that would slow them down a bit was Norco…Vicodin with acetaminophen. Eventually they went away, although after the first time they ceased they returned about an hour later, but then went away for good after about another half hour. Talk about your mood swings from complete elation when they first subsided to total desperation when they returned, back to total relief when they went away again a little later.
    Hiccups- enough to make a grown man cry……literally

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