Greetings from a Crazy Cat Lady

Here is a new pic of Ariel, who will be down here from Connecticut on Wednesday or Thursday. It’s harder to take pictures of her than Tunch, because she actually moves, so this is a little blurry:


I cleaned the spare bedroom, vacuumed the whole place, changed the sheets, and put the gate up, trying to get rid of the smell of Tunch so she will have her safe zone. I’m really kind of excited.

I’m also a touch worried that I really am slipping into hoarder status. What can I say, I love my animals. I took a nap today at around three after the Pens beat the Sabres, and climbing into bed, I had to lift the comforter for Lily and Rosie to get in, and as I was passing out, Tunch came for a visit. When I woke up an hour later, I heard Tunch purring next to me, Lily was snoring in my ear and drooling on my shoulder, and Rosie was nestled up next to my thigh. How does it get any better than that?

Why, by adding a cat to purr in my other ear. WINNING!

I’m not sure I like the name Ariel or Oreo (her name is Oreo, but my mom calls her Ariel because Oreo is not elegant enough- and for my mom, a dog person, to fall for a cat, you know she is a keeper.).

So, Balloon Juice readers, what does she look like to you? A Sascha, maybe?

205 replies
  1. 1
    YellowJournalism says:

    Great work on the safe zone. There are so many people I’ve known that brought a new pet in the home by tossing them in cold turkey and ended up getting rid o the new addition because they couldn’t fit in. Sad.

    I think some of us are as excited for this as you are! New kitteh pics!!!

  2. 2
    JKormac says:

    “Tunch Lunch”?

  3. 3
    the Conster says:

    People say crazy cat lady like it’s a bad thing.

  4. 4
    La Caterina (Mrs. Johannes) says:

    So, Mrs. Cole is bringing her to you? Drat, I thought you’d be driving through the NYC Metro area to pick up Ariel and we’d have a chance to kidnap you for a Juicer meet-up.

    2 cats and 2 dogs. Cole, you’re just getting started. Let me hook you up with some nice shelters for a few ferals in the back yard.

  5. 5
    Raenelle says:

    She looks like a Buffy to me.

  6. 6
    gogol's wife says:

    She’s beautiful! I have a cat named Sasha, it’s a great name, but I’ve kind of imprinted on her being Ariel.

  7. 7
    Felinious Wench says:

    Pandora. She’s got panda coloring and I have complete faith in her ability to unleash mayhem.

  8. 8
    gbear says:

    Then there are some of us who spent a full month introducing the cats to each other and still couldn’t get them to tolerate each other.

    I think John is being far to optimistic about how this is going to work out. I don’t think a gate will be enough. You’re going to want a closed door between the cats for a week or so. You might wind up with no one on the bed with you for a while because of the stress of another cat in the house. Be ready.

  9. 9
    Redshift says:

    At two cats and two dogs, I don’t think you’re seriously at risk for cat lady/hoarder status. I think you could safely go to one additional cat, even. More than five animals with one person, then I might start to worry.

    That reminds me of a story my mom told me about meeting the crazy cat lady in her neighborhood (the neighborhood where I grew up.) She had noticed the house and quite a few cats around, but one day finally had some reason to knock on her door (I don’t remember what it was.) She went in and chatted with her for a while, and there were cats everywhere, at least twenty, maybe more. But the place was immaculate, and there was no smell whatsoever. It was pretty amazing. To this day, she has no idea whether she had hired help, or just did nothing but vacuum and dust and empty litter boxes, or what.

  10. 10
    The Fat Kate Middleton says:

    I’m excited for you, John. Fuzzy as that photo is, I’ve already fallen in love with her. She’s a beauty. So wish I could have kittehs in the house again – but daughter-in-law’s allergies make it impossible. (Other DIL, however, has five cats, so I guess that kind of makes up for it.) Oh .. a name… um … I really like Ariel.

  11. 11
    raven says:


  12. 12
    La Caterina (Mrs. Johannes) says:

    She looks like a Natasha to me, you can call her Sascha for short, like the younger of the first daughters.

  13. 13
    Baud says:

    Based on that photo, I would call her Storm.

  14. 14
    gbear says:

    @La Caterina (Mrs. Johannes): My sister had a Natasha who looked like that cat. She now has eight cats in a very small house (but with a huge lot).

  15. 15
    22over7 says:

    Wait a while until you name her. She may have personality traits about which you don’t know. My tortie was so skinny and pathetic when I got her, I named her Molly. After she fattened up and flashed her saucy self all over my house, I renamed her Mugsy. It fits her better.

    But listen to gbear above. It might be a piece of cake, it might be something else. Watch the litter box like a hawk.

  16. 16
    The Dangerman says:

    How does it get any better than that?


    Also, I’m partial to Dangercat.

  17. 17
    Stephen1947 says:

    Back when I lived with a multiple-pet family, whenever we got a new cat we would rub its odor onto the others, and vice versa, with our hands so that they would not smell “other” to each other. It usually took several days for encounters without lots of cat racket to become regular.

  18. 18
    donnah says:

    She is beautiful. You should call her Fiona, like the lovely character in Burn Notice.

  19. 19
    raven says:

    We were at a yard sale with Raven and a sweet lil old lady asked what his name was. I said, “well, his name is Raven, we call him Boo Boo but he’ll answer to Stinky”. She said “My vet said if a pet has more than one name it is truly loved”! Don’t overthink it, name the damn cat and see what happens.

  20. 20
    Garbo says:

    I agree with the suggestion to wait to let her name reveal itself to you. Ariel will do in the interim.

    Surrounding yourself with furry sources of love and companionship? What could be wrong with MORE? Can’t wait for further reports.

  21. 21
    eemom says:

    I’m also a touch worried that I really am slipping into hoarder status.

    Cole, if you really think that with 4 animals you know nothing about real hoarding. That is some seriously horrible shit, and nothing to joke about.

  22. 22
    raven says:

    @donnah: And Shameless.

  23. 23
    TidyCat says:

    i would totally name her “Shirokuro” which sounds way cooler than it is – it’s “black & white” in Japanese (^o^)/

  24. 24
    Alison says:

    IMO you’re not a hoarder if you take care of the animals and keep the house clean and such. It’s not the number of pets, it’s the disregard for hygiene and health and such that says “hoarder”.

    Sasha is a cute name, and I am fond of my own kitty’s name Zoe :)

  25. 25
    James K. Polk, Esq. says:

    She looks like an Abigail to me.

  26. 26
    cmorenc says:

    @John Cole:

    When I woke up an hour later, I heard Tunch purring next to me, Lily was snoring in my ear and drooling on my shoulder, and Rosie was nestled up next to my thigh. How does it get any better than that?

    How does it get any better than that? It does if there’s also a snuggly woman of the human kind next to you in the bed as you wake up. Doesn’t have to be the kind of woman with the kind of could-be-a-Victoria’s-Secret model looks, so long as she’s whatever kind of woman is attractive, interesting, fun, and companionable to you.

  27. 27
    pepper says:

    i think you should name her Socks

  28. 28
    Roger Moore says:

    @Felinious Wench:


    She’d better have a non-shared litter box then; you don’t want Tunch getting into Pandora’s box.

  29. 29
    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker says:

    We’re up to 3 dogs and 4 cats, unless my wife has snuck in any other animals without my noticing. I guess I should’ve considered myself warned when I married someone whose lifelong nickname is Packrat.

    Don’t worry, the new arrival will have you trained in no time.

  30. 30
    Luci says:

    I think she looks like a “yours” and you are right… it does not get much better than being covered with animals all over your bed. I speak from experience. ;) I just integrated a new one, and there has been fighting and running and this and that, but slowly… slowly… we are managing and things are settling into a new normal. All will likely be well. You are a good man for doing this. :)

  31. 31
    SectionH says:

    She’s beautiful.

    Two dogs and two cats is not remotely hoarder numbers in my book, although I admit I got a bit nervous

    Ariel seems like an ok name, and so does Sascha. All of our cats have had “official” names, given when they were adopted, and then over time most of them got the names we usually called them as their personalities were revealed.

    Congratulations to you and her.

  32. 32
    22over7 says:

    Re: hoarding. I have two cats inside and six ferals in the yard. I would have had a lot more, but I spent two years trapping, neutering, and releasing.

    I didn’t want to be the crazy cat lady. Damn chow costs enough as it is.

  33. 33
    cat person says:

    I also came to say natasha but 12 beat me to it.

  34. 34
    Alison says:

    @cmorenc: God, why do people insist on doing this on every post where John talks about how his pets make him happy.

  35. 35
    Roger Moore says:

    her name is Oreo, but my mom calls her Ariel because Oreo is not elegant enough- and for my mom, a dog person, to fall for a cat, you know she is a keeper

    Also, too, Oreo is a bad name because it’s an ethnic slur. Besides, who wants a fuzzy oreo?

  36. 36
    Anne Laurie says:

    I’d say calling her Sasha would set off a wave of Beyonce jokes, but you don’t hang with people who are aware of all pop-culture traditions, right?

    Just be sure you keep an eye on Rosie, okay? And not just with the New Girl — worrying that she’s about to be “replaced” (again) may agitate Rosie into attacking Tunch and/or Lily, just because they’re within reach.

    I most sincerely hope I’m wrong about this, but like I said: Our ‘most recent’ alpha-bitch rescue got so strung up about the kitten we brought home that she was threatening us, as well as the other dogs, and Gloria’s not a JRT. You’ve said Rosie tends to be a bit needy at the best of times, so it’s up to the House Human to make sure she’s not left to do something you’re all gonna regret.

    (Note: Gloria & Piper-cat are just fine now, she’s the dog he plays with most, it just took a few weeks of intense supervision to reassure Gloria that the new guy wouldn’t be taking “her” food, toys, or attention-from-the-humans.)

  37. 37
    TBogg says:

    The Palin’s have used up all the good names…..

  38. 38
    mai naem says:

    Well, I think you need to wait and see what her personality is like but I like Chessie, Minx, Penelope, Chloe, Calliope, Hermione, Gelsey, Tess/a, Phaedra and Jazz/Jasmine. Ariel’s pretty too.

  39. 39
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Alison: So you are saying Cole’s question was rhetorical?

  40. 40
    Nicole says:


  41. 41
    the Conster says:

    You’re also going to have to build one of these now. You’ve gone beyond where we’re going to get you a woman.

  42. 42
    Violet says:

    Nobody’s said a black and white cat should be called Barack? Slow group tonight.

  43. 43
    Alison says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: A CRAZY IDEA, I KNOW. But yeah.

  44. 44
    Alison says:

    @Violet: Haha, I thought about it but Barack just sounds like more of a dog name to me.

    ETA: That sounds bad when I read it. I just mean that were someone to use the name for a pet, it would fit dogs better than cats.

  45. 45
    the Conster says:

    @the Conster:

    ETA: Or a man.

  46. 46
    PurpleGirl says:

    The Peekskill animals menagerie (at its height) was 1 Dobermann Pinscher, 3 (then 4, and 3 again) retired racing greyhounds, a cat, 2 parrots, 3 ferrets, and an ever-changing number of gerbils.

    The house in Peekskill was 9 rooms with a fenced-in backyard. We cleaned all the cages once or twice a week, depending on how they looked. (That’s how we kept them from smelling.) For the ferrets we used cedar chips as their bedding and it got changed every other day.

    As to your new cat: she’s stunning. I’d call her Maxie.

    Have you ever thought of being a foster dad for kittens/cats?

  47. 47
    sacrablue says:

    She looks like an Abigail (Abby) or a Priscilla to me.

  48. 48
    bnut says:

    Dr. Fluffy Von Pouncington

  49. 49
    pika says:

    You are nowhere near hoarder status. The Balloon-Juice calendar reveals my 2-dog, 2-cat household. She’s an elegant cat, so I suggest Eleganza, Ganzy for short.

  50. 50
    Maude says:

    Looks like Tam to me.

  51. 51
    Roger Moore says:

    Nothing to see here; I got the joke wrong.

  52. 52
    Rosie Outlook says:

    If I ever got a black and white cat (or dog) I would name it Piano. I like Shirokuro too although by the time you yelled,”Shirokuro, get off the table!” she probably already would have.

    Or you could really get polysyllabic with “Shirokuro Neko.”

  53. 53
    khead says:

    Congrats and good luck.

    No name suggestions…

  54. 54
    quannlace says:

    Hmm. Chocolate and cream mixed together?


  55. 55
    Bill Arnold says:

    my mom calls her Ariel because Oreo is not elegant enough

    I guess “Orca” is out then. If you’ve ever seen a video of a killer whale playing with a baby seal, you’d think it appropriate for a cat. Panda is another common name. But neither seems appropriate for a long haired female tux cat.
    Pandora might work (Felinious Wench #7).

  56. 56
    Citizen_X says:

    I think Oreo is fine name for her.

  57. 57
    wormtown says:

    Good for you – but, I think Tunch deserves a lot of credit for putting up with all this change

  58. 58
    YellowJournalism says:

    Go patriotic and name her Liberty. Libby for short.

  59. 59
    Walker says:

    Didn’t Tunch used to have a friend? I vaguely remember some posts about some cat named Stewart in the early years of the blog.

  60. 60
    Mark S. says:

    Ross Douthat really knows a lot about, well, nothing:

    Perhaps not coincidentally, the mid-2000s were the last time the Catholic vision of the good society — more egalitarian than American conservatism and more moralistic than American liberalism — enjoyed real influence in U.S. politics. At the time of John Paul’s death, the Republican Party’s agenda was still stamped by George W. Bush’s “compassionate conservatism,” which offered a right-of-center approach to Catholic ideas about social justice.

    John Paul II died in 2005; Bush and his buddies hadn’t uttered the phrase “compassionate conservatism” in over 4 years.

    Steve M does a great job dealing with all the other bullshit in the article.

  61. 61
    Jack Curtin says:

    LOVE the name Oreo. Had a cat of that name who once stalked Richard Nixon’s grandchild while secret agents stood by with hands on their pistols (true story). She also hated dogs and one day attacked a seeing eye dog in the bookstore I owned at the time (another true story and what somebody who needed a seeing eye dog was doing in a bookstore is yet another). When some grumpy old grandpop complained that she had scratched one of his grandkids who ran up to pet her and the local police made me lock her in the cellar for ten days, customers and employees organized a “Free Oreo” campaign, complete with a large display of a Kliban cat (anybody remember those?) in handcuffs in the front window. I do not make this stuff up. Keep the name.

  62. 62
    YellowJournalism says:

    @Citizen_X: This is especially true since her companion is double stuffed.

  63. 63
    Poopyman says:

    Sorry I’m so late to the party, but with two cats & two dogs you’re far from hoarder status. And yes, a cat purring in each ear is truly winning.

    Downside is there’s less room the bed for the fat man, and cats always stretch out crossways. Dunno why, but it’s a fact. Look it up on the internet if you don’t believe me.

    PS – Ariel is the spittin’ image of the real Poopyman. For good or ill, B&W cats always have strong personalities. Dunno how it’s going to turn out, Cole, but it’ll be a hell of a ride.

  64. 64
    22over7 says:

    You could always pay homage to the great JRRT. Your dogs are named Lilly and Rose, so name her another flower name. But nothing too common. Elanor.

  65. 65
    Maude says:

    One thing I;d get for her (Tam) is Petro Malt. It prevents fur balls. She’ll need it. Just follow the directions. I had a half Persian and it worked like a charm.
    Ask her her name when she gets home.
    What a lovely sweety.

  66. 66
    Lol says:


  67. 67
    Baud says:

    If you’re a geeky Trekkie type, you could name the cat Ariannus.

  68. 68
    SIA says:

    Felonious Wench had it right, but leave it as PANDA!

  69. 69
    MikeJ says:

    Penelope was the black & white cat who was the object of Pepe le Pew’s affection.

  70. 70
    Eljai says:

    How about Bandit? She looks like she’s wearing a mask and she stole your heart already.

  71. 71
    quannlace says:

    And going along with the black and white food analogy, consider one of the Drakes Cakes”
    Ring Ding
    Funny Bones

  72. 72
    JPL says:

    If I had a daughter Abigail and Annie were at the top of my list but as far as animal names, I’m not sure. Tunch would like Nona which is a shortened version of no name because that would indicate she would be leaving soon. Peace might be nice but that would be wishful thinking. I think that if I were you, I’d call her Mop. Just cuz!

  73. 73
    Maude says:

    That’s also a good name.

  74. 74
    Anne Laurie says:


    It’s not the number of pets, it’s the disregard for hygiene and health and such that says “hoarder”.

    To be serious, it’s the brain glitch where the hoarder stops differentiating between “number of pets I can actually keep clean & healthy” and “number of pets I am convinced can’t be cared for if I’m not doing it”. Most hoarders are aware that they’ve got too many dependents, they just think that any animal they give up is going to be worse off. Tragically, they’re not always wrong — one problem for rescuers working with hoarders is that they can’t honestly guarantee that every desperately sick, emaciated, psychotic-from-being-confined animal in this week’s horrorshow will survive & recover enough to go to the Good Home.

    Best current guess/theory is that animal hoarding is a form of OCD, and people who’ve been busted for hoarding frequently go on to do so again (moving to another district or state if necessary to feed their ‘addiction’).

    As with the old joke about being an alcoholic, I think it’s safe to say that as long as Cole or the rest of us can worry that we might be crossing the line from avocation to public nuisance, we’re good.

  75. 75
    Karen in GA (who really needs a better name) says:


    The Palin’s have used up all the good names…

    Oh, I think Meghan Cox Gurdon might beg to differ. What about Crinoline-Jean? Formica Sue? Guernica?

    (Yeah, long-time reader here. I keep meaning to get out more, but then I think, fuck it.)

  76. 76
    Poopyman says:

    Enough, people. She already has a name. Now it’s Cole’s job to find out what it is.

  77. 77
    Anne Laurie says:


    Funny Bones

    IIRC, those were peanut-butter-stuffed, so it’d be a better name for a tortie cat?

  78. 78
    Maude says:

    I know what it is. I get stuck this. Grew up with a black and white a year older that me. Wow, he was a strong cat.

  79. 79
    quannlace says:

    How about Bandit?


  80. 80
    Maude says:

    I get stuck on this.

  81. 81
    RobertDSC-iMac G5 says:

    I would keep Ariel.

  82. 82
    debit says:


  83. 83
    Francis says:

    Given her elegance: Coco (as in Chanel).

  84. 84
    Citizen_X says:

    I think you should honor superpatriot American hero Ted Nugent and name her CAT SCRATCH FEVER!

    And with that, here’s some Wally Pleasant with “The Day Ted Nugent Killed All the Animals.”

  85. 85
    Violet says:

    Can anyone tell me if the site looks/works different with the rebuild? I have done Ctrl-F5 and also Shift-reload. Nothing looks different and I still have to enter my info for every new page the first time. Site still looks the same for me.

  86. 86
    Comrade Mary says:

    Neko (Japanese for cat). Minouche (Québec French for girl-kitteh).

  87. 87
    JPL says:

    @Violet: The site looks the same but I no longer have to enter my name and email on Chrome.. wahoo..

  88. 88
    Poopyman says:

    @Citizen_X: I know a guy who once named his two cats Toxo and Plasmosis. Really.

    I don’t think he was much of a cat person.

  89. 89
    Baud says:


    Rebuild hasn’t happened yet.

  90. 90
    amk says:

    @JKormac: Or tunch is lunch.

  91. 91
    Violet says:

    @Baud: Oh, I thought it had happened. Well no wonder it doesn’t look any different.

  92. 92
    Linda Featheringill says:

    The kitty in question has a name and she knows it. Ask her. And wait for the answer. It may take a few days for the answer to come through, but it’s worth it.

    And congratulations on your lovely decision.

  93. 93
    wasabi gasp says:

    Corner Stone

  94. 94
    dan says:

    Got a name for the cat. Benghazi. BENGHAZI!!!

  95. 95
    mainmati says:

    @Felinious Wench: I completely agree with you. Great punning name. And Pandora’s box. I vote 10X for that name.

  96. 96
    RepubAnon says:

    If you name her Natasha, as one reader suggested – you’ll need to get another cat to be named Boris Badanoff.

    “Boris, dahling, you have fiendish plan?”

    “Natasha! When do I NOT have fiendish plan?”

    All you need then are some dogs to name “Rocky” and “Bullwinkle”.

  97. 97
    Carrie says:

    and it’s a great name for calling her to you,

  98. 98
    kc says:

    Excellent! She’s a beauty.

  99. 99
    JPL says:

    In honor of Downton maybe Mrs. Hughes or Sybil.. If you choose Sybil it would have to be Sybil III..

  100. 100
    Steeplejack says:


    The site rebuild has not happened yet. The problems are just FYWP.

  101. 101
    MikeJ says:

    Oh goody. Richard Mourdock would-be senator from Indiana and rape enthusiast says he may run again because, “I’m going to find a way to have my voice heard.”

    Thank god. I was afraid they might start running sane people.

  102. 102
    mainmati says:

    @RepubAnon: and Natasha Nogoodnik. Rocky and Bullwinkle – greatest cartoon series ever

  103. 103
    JCJ says:

    Hopefully your new cat will be a pucks fan like you..

  104. 104
    auntie beak says:

    that photo is just a lovely image. so abstract, and it just says “cat!” wish i were a painter.

  105. 105
    raven says:

    @mainmati: The metal munching moonmice of Frostbite Falls!

  106. 106
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    Mindy McCready shot herself, pity she didn’t have a gun she would have been able to protect herself. Oh wait…

  107. 107
    schrodinger's cat says:

    Cleocatra, Cleo for short.

  108. 108
    Corner Stone says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Um, wow.

  109. 109
    catclub says:

    @Alison: We have a Zoe.
    She is not a tame tabby. Rules the roost.

  110. 110
    TaMara (BHF) says:

    I like Buffy.

    I trust in your ability to bring harmony to the blended family. You managed to get Rosie to behave when it seemed for a while she was a lost cause.

    I do suggest two litter boxes, though, it avoids power-plays an inappropriate peeing.

  111. 111
    Funkula says:

    I once had a tuxedo cat named Napoleon, so I will suggest Josephine.

  112. 112
    Roger Moore says:

    @Comrade Mary:

    Neko (Japanese for cat).

    Or you could use Niko (⼆⼦, two child), which sounds almost like Neko and is an appropriate name for a second cat.

  113. 113
    raven says:

    Go Illini!

  114. 114
    JoyceH says:

    John, you know what you need?

    You need a catio.

  115. 115
    Roger Moore says:


    “I’m going to find a way to have my voice heard.”

    Sounds more like he’s spent too much time listening to his own voice, or maybe the voices in his head.

  116. 116
    Roger Moore says:

    @TaMara (BHF):

    I do suggest two litter boxes, though, it avoids power-plays an inappropriate peeing.

    I’ve heard the recommended number is one more than the number of cats in the household. That’s what Cat Fancy is always saying, at least.

  117. 117
    Mary from Ohio says:

    Thank you for the most awesome Wally Pleasant link. My favorite Wally Pleasant song is the cat came back, and I remember watching Wally perform it on the University of Toledo campus a long time ago. You put a smile on my face!

    As for cat names you must stick with flowers so I vote Dahlia, Jacinta or Zahara.

  118. 118
    Alison says:

    @Roger Moore: Yup, I have just the one cat but two boxes. They did that at the shelter to make cleaning them easier on staff, and they suggested I do the same if I had the space, since she was used to it. The amusing thing is that she pretty much always separates her business between them. It’s sort of cute :)

  119. 119
    Alison says:

    @Mary from Ohio: Ooh, or maybe Poppy or Zinnia :)

  120. 120
  121. 121
    Suzanne says:

    My cats have always sort of named themselves, though they tend to name themselves after people real or imagined. I’ve had Nico, P.J. (short for Polly Jean), Clarice, Scout (yes, Jean Louise is her full name), and Zelda. I have a feeling that Minerva, Lisbeth, or Ripley will come find me soon.

  122. 122
    Ash Can says:

    What a pretty kitty! No name suggestions; you should give her whatever name you think she should have.

  123. 123
    Yutsano says:


    Suzanne is right, she’ll name herself in due time.

  124. 124
    danielx says:

    Ariel, mos def. On the other hand I was over at my sis-in-law’s earlier and the three resident cats are named Bagheera, Kiara and Hobbs…how did Hobbs creep in there?

  125. 125
    danielx says:


    Oh goody. Richard Mourdock would-be senator from Indiana and rape enthusiast says he may run again because, “I’m going to find a way to have my voice heard.”

    Heh. Well, Richard, you had your chance to have your voice heard. Your fellow Hoosiers decided they preferred that you sit down and shut the fuck up, so why don’t you get with the program?

  126. 126
    Suzanne says:

    @Yutsano: I have a fake name, which I will share only because it may be perfect for the little miss: Desdemona, Desi for short. (In my case, I also have a fake last name, career, hometown, and phone number.)

  127. 127
    Heliopause says:

    You’re getting her fixed, right? Give her/it a gender neutral name.

  128. 128
    imonlylurking says:


  129. 129
    hamletta says:

    Scrolled past everybody:

    Whatever name you give her will be good.

    My Sophia just perked her ears up at the singing of her name; but she’s pissed.

    She had her name when I got her, but she’s my Boo-Boo-Kitty, my Sweet Girl, my Oh What the Fuck Have You Done?

  130. 130
    amk says:

    dood, your photographic skill does really suck. Stop blaming the kitteh.

  131. 131
    Anne Laurie says:

    @amk: Cole didn’t take this shot. You’re insulting his mom, and she reads this blog, dude.

  132. 132
    amk says:

    @Anne Laurie: Sorry, cole’s mom. Habit of seeing cole’s bad photos all the time.

  133. 133
    mai naem says:

    I think you should just call her BJ in honor of your blog and when she’s grown up she can decide what the BJ stands for.

  134. 134
    Ben W says:

    Good for you, John. I hope everything works out. Our tuxedo is named Zoot, like the suit: it works for us.

  135. 135
    Suffern ACE says:

    Maybeline. That cat is using some serious mascara.

  136. 136
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Suffern ACE: In that case, how about Pris?

  137. 137
    Patricia Kayden says:

    Would love a photo of Tunch and Oreo aka Ariel together. Those are beautiful cats.

    I love animals too but have to control myself from ending up on Animal Planet’s pet hoarder show.

  138. 138
    gelfling545 says:

    @Carrie: One of my cats (my favorite, actually) who never got a “real” name due to some gender confusion when he was brought home was Minou for all his 17 years.

    Now my current cat named Mewtant (due to his prodigious polydactyly) ended up as Minou due to my granddaughter’s inability at about age 2 to pronounce Mewtant accurately. It’s a grand, immortal name.

  139. 139
    PurpleGirl says:

    Cole, now you MUST set up a kitteh cam. The new kitteh will love the cat tower and we want to see her climbing it!

  140. 140
    Alison says:

    @PurpleGirl: Oh man. A pet cam in Cole’s house while he’s gone. I would watch the hell out of that.

  141. 141
    Yutsano says:

    @Alison: This may interfere with Tunch’s plans for world domination. I don’t see the hairless ape getting away with this for very long.

  142. 142
    farmette says:

    She looks so sweet. Maybe call her Sugar.

  143. 143
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @Heliopause: Perhaps the would-be gender neutral pronoun “Zie.”

  144. 144
    Alison says:

    @Yutsano: I wouldn’t be surprised if he figured out a way to block the camera. Like, he’ll order Lily to sit in front of it or something.

  145. 145
    MikeJ says:


    She looks so sweet. Maybe call her Sugar.

    Which made my deranged brain that always skips three steps ahead think he should name her Rockpile.

  146. 146
    sfinny says:

    There was an adoption drive in my village this weekend with dogs, cats and bunnies. Seriously cute puppies were paraded on the sidewalk. I didn’t go inside to tempt myself with a new kitty because it just isn’t an option now. But it was hard to walk on by.

  147. 147
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @Bill Arnold: girl in a tux screams “Patti Smith” to me.

  148. 148
    clayton says:

    corner stone

    that’s what you should name her

    just as a reminder of when he blew up the blog

  149. 149
    Eric U. says:

    going to be much happier with BJ now that I have the pie filter installed.

  150. 150
    PIGL says:

    @Suzanne: Good morning, Juliette.

  151. 151
    Shortstop says:

    That cat is 100% an Evelyn or a Vivian. And she’s lovely.

  152. 152
  153. 153
    NCSteve says:

    @TaMara (BHF): Not Buffy, Cordelia. Cordie, anyway.

  154. 154
    YellowJournalism says:

    @Alison: So that when North American productivity rates go down, they’ll know to blame the Cole Kitty Cam.

  155. 155
    josefina says:

    AMBER. Her name is AMBER. Look at her eyes!

  156. 156
    NotMax says:

    So, Balloon Juice readers, what does she look like to you?


    Or Wanda.

  157. 157
  158. 158
    Yutsano says:

    @NotMax: Hepsibah. If we’re going for obscure Biblical names. Then she can be Hep Cat.

  159. 159
    GregB says:

    Miss Halperin.

  160. 160
    Jewish Steel says:

    So, Balloon Juice readers, what does she look like to you?


    -The basenjis.

  161. 161
    jayjaybear says:

    She’s wearing a tuxedo, so she’s obviously a Marlene.

  162. 162
    Debbie(aussie) says:

    She is so pretty. So many lovely names mentioned above. I would go with the suggestion of waiting to see if she ‘has’ name of her own.
    My cat ( was my daughters) is named Fry, after the futurama dude. But I like to think of him more as Stephen Fry, or Emperor Fry-Ling ( he is a very large grey & white).

  163. 163
    NotMax says:


    Dunno about anything biblical.

    Cat kind of reminded me of the silent film vamp Theda Bara, whose birth name was Theodosia Goodman. (pic #1pic #2)

  164. 164
  165. 165
    A Humble Lurker says:

    For some reason the name ‘Morgana’ occurs to me.

    But there’s also Yin Yang. Or Tux, since she’s a tuxedo. Pearl because they can be black or white. Limo for the same reason. Checkers, or Chess or Chessie.

    Pets don’t care so I’m of the firm belief that your weird name ideas should be used for them.

  166. 166
    amk says:

    tunch & punch

  167. 167
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Yutsano: Well, then he can call her Abishag, for Tunch:

    ABISHAG (I Kings 1:3, 15; 2:17, 21, 22), a maid from the town of Shunem, obtained to minister to King David in his old age. A search was made for a woman who was beautiful. Abishag was brought to David to be his nurse and concubine. In his feebleness she gave to him of her warm vitality….

  168. 168
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    She looks like a “Furball”. :)


    Why CS? Why not get it over with and just name her “Dumb Fuck”.

    Same difference.

  169. 169
    Yutsano says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    Abishag was brought to David to be his nurse and concubine. In his feebleness she gave to him of her warm vitality….


  170. 170
    Mike E says:



    Tolkien, nice one.

  171. 171
    Mike E says:

    @22over7: Elanor.
    Tolkien, nice one.

    ETA reamed by Justice Bork’s gavel, once moar. Again.

  172. 172
  173. 173
    eemom says:

    Well, now that Cole has all these groovy names he’s gonna have to get more kitties so maybe the hoarder thing ain’t so crazy after all.

  174. 174


    ‘Cause it rhymes with Tunch.

  175. 175
    Kris Collins says:

    She looks like a beautiful sweet kitteh, but I don’t know if any of the suggested names fit. I’m a firm believer in the “get to know your pet first” school of naming animals, so wait at least until you meet her. And BTW, you are not even close to a
    hoarder, you love and take care of all your critters. (Although I’m sure my husband, upon whom my daughter and I have inflicted four cats, three Betta fish, a tortoise, and hundreds of backyard birds, would disagree.)

  176. 176
    Shortstop says:

    @clayton: I had never seen that thread or known about that incident. Now I have, and also this.


  177. 177
    Kris Collins says:

    Sorry for the double post,it’s this damn Android phone.

  178. 178
    Mnemosyne says:


    There’s a reason CS has been in my pie filter for 2+ years. Just not worth the trouble.

  179. 179

    Go with the Steelers theme: Swann.

  180. 180
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    Good news! The drunken asshole who used a racial epithet (at least twice) and slapped that little kid in the face on the plane is now unemployed.

    I’m sure he will blame the blahs for his misfortune.

  181. 181
    JoyfulA says:

    @Joseph Nobles: Swann’s a Republican; he ran for governor of Pennsylvania.

  182. 182
    Platonicspoof says:

    So, Balloon Juice readers, what does she look like to you?

    Tunch, The Devourer of Worlds, will immediately peg her as the new ‘Nermal’,
    so I won’t pretend it matters that she looks like
    ‘The World’s Cutest Kitten’ to me.

    /Really hoping for good chemistry in your critterdom, John.

  183. 183
    WereBear says:

    To me, she looks like the frontwoman for a funky Celtic band. Let the names flow from there: we have an Olwyn.


  184. 184
    Bobby Thomson says:

    Sasha is a boy’s name. The Mouse has made Ariel a redhead’s name.

    Elizabeth? Aretha? Amanda? Heather? Mia? Sinead?

  185. 185
    maurinsky says:


    We got our second kitten when our first cat was 2, and we had a safe zone and did a slow introduction, and they’ve hated each other right from the start. It’s gotten better, it used to be that they couldn’t be in the same room together, but now they can generally do that without fighting. Of course, the older one is now 14 and has dementia, so this might be one of those cases where he’s forgotten that he hates her.

  186. 186
    Bobby Thomson says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: That sucks.

  187. 187
    Drunken hausfrau says:


  188. 188
    Digital Amish says:

    We got a rescue tuxedo about a year ago. We named her “the cat” because, really, what’s the point?

  189. 189
    Paul in KY says:

    @Redshift: Amazing story. 20 cats & no smell, etc.

  190. 190
    Paul in KY says:

    @Alison: I was going to mention that, but you already did.

    cmorenc is sort of a ‘Debby Downer’ with his continual noting of that.

  191. 191
    Just One More Canuck says:

    @Shortstop: Evelyn is my daughter’s name (8 year old). And yes, she’s as lovely as her name

  192. 192
    Montarvillois says:

    Looks like a Mindy to me.

  193. 193
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @clayton: Wow. That was long before I discovered this fine blog. I guess “Corner Stone” and “Ted and Helen” are trolls everyone should just ignore. I recall a few other trolls who used to be here before the last election — always laughably predicting that Romneybot 2.0 would win in a landslide and insinuating that President Obama was going to be swiftboated.

  194. 194
    shortstop says:

    @Mnemosyne: I had a link to this appalling trainwreck of a thread, but you know, WP, mobile version, fuck you, etc.

  195. 195
    JustRuss says:

    We had a slightly less floofy tux cat named Tasha. As she’s no longer with us, feel free to go with that if Sascha doesn’t work out.

    I’m sure Tunch was greatly amused by the “actually moves” crack. Watch your back, Cole.

  196. 196
    JP7505A says:

    HE WHO MUST BE OBEYED will have his revenge, remember a dish best served cold!

  197. 197
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @shortstop: I re-read it. What a fiasco. Then, fittingly, in writing a post about it, I used a banned poster’s name, and WordPress ate the post.

  198. 198
    shortstop says:

    @FlipYrWhig: I did notice in reading it that you were less tolerant of CS’s “performance art” than you were this weekend. ;)

  199. 199
    ZombieReagan says:

    looks like a “bingo” to me.

    all pet names should be 2 syllables and androgynous, in my made up book about all things.

  200. 200
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @shortstop: True. Maybe the persona started to make more sense to me over time.

  201. 201
    ZombieReagan says:

    or if you want to stay with the Steeler theme…Rooney.

  202. 202
    Halcyan says:

    I like Tasha over Sascha. For Natasha, which is pretty exotic. Remember Rocky and Bullwinkle?

  203. 203
    shortstop says:

    @ZombieReagan: I am intrigued by your book idea and would like to subscribe.

  204. 204
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @ZombieReagan: That’s a really good one.

  205. 205
    TidyCat says:

    @Rosie Outlook: when you need to yell, just “Shiro” would work ;-)

Comments are closed.