Obama’s ‘Preschool for All’ Plan is a Handout to Lazy Toddlers

child-toddler-money-little-boyPresident Obama has proposed preschool for all, because a baby mind is a terrible thing to waste. A couple of Fox News assclowns (Which ones? Does it matter?) believe that preschool access is a government handout and yet another gift, like the gifts to women and minorities who only voted for Obama because he promised them a bunch of free shit — phones, contraception, food stamps and the like.

And of course, President Obama only supports pre-school for all so that he can breed a bunch of l’il Obamabots who will support him in 15 years, which might make sense in a world where President Obama can run for president again in 2036, but which is — spoiler alert! — not the world we live in:

On Friday, Fox Business host Stuart Varney and Fox News host Steve Doocy attacked preschool access as a government handout intended to extend “literally, the nanny state.” Varney echoed an argument used by former presidential candidate Mitt Romney that Obama won the election by giving “gifts” to women and minorities. Even though Obama cannot run for office a third time, the host warned the president is using preschool to entice a whole new generation of toddlers to support him when they’re eligible in 15 years.

Here’s the ludicrous money quote:

VARNEY: Look what the president is doing here, it’s a repeat performance of his campaign, which is you raise taxes on the rich and you offer all kinds of free stuff to people who will vote for you in the future. Free preschool education for 4-year-olds, it’s free, here it is. Hand out the goodies.

It’s a wonder these people can remember to breathe in and out every day.

Kerrrrist.

[via Think Progress]

[cross-posted at ABLC]

Share On Facebook
Share On Twitter
Share On Google Plus
Share On Pinterest
Share On Reddit

54 replies
  1. 1
    Foregone Conclusion says:

    Because the introduction of Head Start in the 1960s marked the beginning of a long victory for left wing politics, no? I mean, we all remember when those kids grew up and voted in droves for President Mondale.

  2. 2
    dmsilev says:

    No no no no. Obama isn’t creating an army of brainwashed children to sweep him into power in 2036. He’s creating an army of brainwashed children for the use of Malia or Sasha once they have completed their training and are ready.

    I demand a correction!

  3. 3
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Awesome, now the O-man done got his black cooties all over early learning programs. Right on the heels of ruining decent Republican Chuck Hagel.

  4. 4
    Scott S. says:

    I continue to be amazed that Obama doesn’t just go on TV and tell people to never, ever, ever drink bleach, set themselves on fire, or swan-dive into woodchippers.

  5. 5
    BGinCHI says:

    These men are Nihilists, Donny.

  6. 6
  7. 7
    NonyNony says:

    @Scott S.:

    I continue to be amazed that Obama doesn’t just go on TV and tell people to never, ever, ever drink bleach, set themselves on fire, or swan-dive into woodchippers.

    Honestly this just shows how much self-control the man has. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from doing it were I in his position. And then I’d have to deal with the press feeding frenzy when some group of Tea Partiers drank a bunch of bleach because I said not to.

  8. 8
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    Stuart Varney makes me ashamed to be British. What a wanker.

  9. 9

    I still don’t know what the fuck these assholes are going on about all the time abouot free telephones. Does anybody know what the hell this is all about? It seems like I’ve heard about this stuff off and on for six months.

  10. 10
    Scott S. says:

    @NonyNony: If they ever pick me to do a Google+ Hangout with Obama, I intend to ask him if it’s okay for people to swallow hand grenades.

  11. 11
    ...now I try to be amused says:

    @Scott S.:
    Ha! I can picture the mom-speak of the future: “If President Obama told you not to jump off a cliff, would you do it?”

  12. 12
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.):

    There was a program set up during the Bush years natch that gave poor people access to cell phones. (That is what that universal connectivity charge is on all phone bills). The wingnuts, as is their wont, let the fact that Bush set it up go down the memory hole and dubbed them “Obama phones”.

  13. 13
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    Not really all that O/T: never thought I’d say this, but I miss David Brooks. Mona Charen on NPR affected me the way Politico affects Charlie Pierce: makes me want to guzzle antifreeze. What an unmitigated hack.

  14. 14
    Melissa M says:

    Toddlers should be expected to pay for their own preschool, dammit! That’s how my kids had it, and that’s how others should have it. Well, truth be told, I paid for their preschool, but I’m keeping an itemized tally and am garnishing their allowance and any wages earned from odd jobs for neighbors, baby sitting, as well as Christmas and birthday gifts. I’m not a total heartless o-bot, though. I did drive them to the polls so they could do their duty and vote for Obama.

  15. 15
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.):

    For a couple of decades, there have been government programs that help low-income people get telephones installed in their homes so they will have one in an emergency. Now that landlines are on their way out, the program is transitioning to helping low-income people get prepaid cell phones for the same purpose.

    As per usual with conservatives, continuing an ongoing program but updating it for the 21st century is SOCIALIZM!!

  16. 16
    Ash Can says:

    The talking heads on Fox have to be anti-education. If kids grow up educated, Fox can kiss its future ratings goodbye.

  17. 17
    Phylllis says:

    It’s a wonder these people can remember to breathe in and out every day.

    As a former co-worker used to say, ‘There are many folk around here who are fortunate breathing is a reflex.’

  18. 18
    Patricia Kayden says:

    Is there anything that President Obama proposes that is not a handout to lazy people in the minds of Faux Noise intellectuals?

    And do none of them know that President Obama cannot run again or am I missing something?

  19. 19
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    @Ash Can: The Republicans in my great state of Texas have proposed eliminating critical thinking education from public schools. So, yes, the party is anti-education.

  20. 20
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    @Scott S.:

    If they ever pick me to do a Google+ Hangout with Obama, I intend to ask him if it’s okay for people to swallow hand grenades.

    Real Americans call this Eating an Obama Pineapple. It has to be forced down one’s throat, it goes without saying.

  21. 21

    @Mnemosyne:
    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    That’s it? That’s what they’re going on about? These people are beyond sad.

  22. 22
    Baud says:

    @Patricia Kayden:

    And do none of them know that President Obama cannot run again or am I missing something?

    When Obama doesn’t run in 2016, Fox News will have a week-long special on how “We Forced Him Out!”

  23. 23
    dr. luba says:

    Oooops! Got sent to moderation for some reason. As for the telephones, those came about as a result of policies from the Reagan administration.

  24. 24
    dr. luba says:

    Also, too. Meteor didn’t work. Will need an asteroid for this level of stupid.

  25. 25
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    @Baud:

    Fox News will have a week-long special on how “We Forced Him Out!”

    Which will run 4 months after the Republicans spend half of their air time during the Republican National Convention talking about how evil and partisan and the leftmostest of all the Lefties the Democratic Nominee is, compared with that nice moderate President Obama who they always got along with so well and were able to forge so many bipartisan compromises with, and that voters had better vote GOP in the 2016 election if they want to protect Obamacare.

  26. 26
    Karen in GA says:

    @Baud: Well, yeah, by beating back the imaginary librul plot to repeal the 22nd amendment and make Obummer Eternal King and Blackity-Black Overlord Blackblackblack.

    (For some reason, the baby in the picture reminds me of a more intelligent-looking Rand Paul.)

  27. 27
    Bulworth says:

    So gratifying to hear, over the course of these past four years, what the GOPTeabag party is against. Taxes. Food Stamps. Healthcare for others. The minimum wage. People voting. These people are truly despicable.

  28. 28
    IowaOldLady says:

    You can’t make this stuff up. It’s a wonder The Onion stays in business.

  29. 29
    halteclere says:

    Fuck Fox. But then I’m not saying anything new to anyone around here.

    I am very fortunate that my wife and I can afford to send our two kids to good daycare where the teachers interact with them and challenge them all day. We are always told how smart they both are, which my wife and I heavily attribute to their preschool education.

  30. 30
    Karen in GA says:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ:

    voters had better vote GOP in the 2016 election if they want to protect the gubmint to keep its hands off Obamacare.

    FTFY.

  31. 31
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    @halteclere:

    Good genes too!

  32. 32
    Baud says:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ:

    In about a decade, it will be known as Heritage Foundation-care.

    (Because, yes, they hate Romney that much.)

  33. 33
    LAC says:

    How does Steve Doucherag breathe properly with his head so far up his ass?

  34. 34
    jl says:

    I gritted my teeth and watched the clip. After getting the tooth splinters out of my mouth, it occurred to me that these Fox people are slipping. The quality of their work is way down.

    First, they went right to targeting the kids? What? Even most of their elderly demo is going to have a soft spot for little kids. Why not go after all the loose wimmins who are spitting out these babies like wads of chewing gum (a luxury that they buy all the time with their generous Obama Dollars), and how it will help them?

    That is a lapse of Inttro Propaganda 101 right there.

    Then they say the program will cost $10K to $11K per kid. But the estimates are see are more like $4K to $5K. So they only multiplied the cost by two or two and a half? Why not a factor of five or ten?

    The Fox News people used to have some pride in workmanlike propaganda. But no more. This decline in our national work ethic is a greater threat to our civilization than… than a meteor strike, probably. Or even liberalism. IMHO.

  35. 35
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @LAC: the sad part is that someone pays him six figures to act like an idiot while good talented people all over the world make a pittance.

  36. 36

    If only those slutty poor ladies would ABORT their babies, then they wouldn’t need free handouts like “preschool.”

    Also, back in the kitchen, bitches, where you belong! And get a husband!

    /sarcasm

  37. 37
    Quaker in a Basement says:

    What do you mean he won’t be able to run in 2036? Haven’t you heard? He’s going to declare himself Shaka Zulu Ebony President for Life! Um…sometime. Soon!

  38. 38
    gocart mozart says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S. (Mumphrey, et al.):

    In the 90′s, the federal government set up the Lifeline phone service program via a mandate by the FCC. This program, funded by Universal Service Fund fees on telephone bills, provides qualified consumers with discounted (often free) monthly telephone service. It began as just a landline program and a few years ago made it’s debut with cell phones. It’s been commonly called the “Obama phone” but that’s an urban legend as free cell phones were added under the Bush Administration.

    http://www.freegovernmentcellphones.net/

  39. 39
    General Stuck says:

    Marx always said, you get the rug rats when they are young, and you have a commie for life.

  40. 40
    Fred says:

    You just watch. After B. Hussein Obama siezes all the guns from the freedom lovers then he’ll apoint himself dictator for life so then he’ll need all those moocher votes ’cause…uh…well…um…ahh… he’ll just need ’em, that’s all.

  41. 41
    Yutsano says:

    @Southern Beale: YEAH DAMMIT!

    Wait, what?

  42. 42
    Gravenstone says:

    @Scott S.: Only if you pull the pin first.

  43. 43
    different-church-lady says:

    Damn that Obama for wanting all babies to be smart, instead of just rich babies.

  44. 44
    Tonybrown74 says:

    @Foregone Conclusion:

    Well, you forget that the President was born in 1963 (ish).

    Cunning bastard planned this all in the womb!

  45. 45
    gbear says:

    I hate to say this, but that baby looks like Rand Paul.

  46. 46
    brantl says:

    Let’s tell the stupid peckerwoods that the Heritage Foundation’s saying breathing is optional, and see how many of the assholes keel over.

  47. 47
    brantl says:

    @gbear: Everybaby looks a lot like Rand Paul, until they are far enough along to lose that “I just saw that for the first time!” look, say 1-2&1/2 months.

  48. 48
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Stuart Varney makes me ashamed to be British. What a wanker.

    Reg is in a great tradition of arseholes who self-transplant to more fertile climes.

    On the broader topic: it’s a good test of wingnut idiocy if they wouldn’t be whining about something if it already existed in the USA. Would they want rid of universal pre-school if it already existed?

    …actually, given that a bunch of them are opposed to public education (and every social institution since the 1850s) perhaps they would.

  49. 49
    Helen Bedd says:

    Every time I hear the name Stuart Varney I think of Jim Varney aka Ernest P. Worrell…

  50. 50
    catbutler says:

    Parents shouldn’t give their children food, it just creates dependency.

  51. 51
    catbutler says:

    Parents shouldn’t give their children food, it just creates dependency.

  52. 52
    AA+ Bonds says:

    @Patricia Kayden:

    And do none of them know that President Obama cannot run again or am I missing something?

    You are missing the mentality that allows a great many of them to be convinced that Obama will somehow change the Constitution and run for a third term. The non-right-wing press is just now catching up to how a lot of right-wingers don’t use Google because they’ve been told it’s a Democratic spy machine; I was informed of this “fact” by a friend’s dad months ago, who also told me that Obama, as a Communist, will never leave office except by threat of force.

  53. 53
    Ruckus says:

    @LAC:
    Really it is so far up his ass that he’s fooled you. It’s mobius intestine. If one sticks one’s head far enough up one’s ass, visually it sits upon the neck. However all the shit just keeps flowing around inside and comes out the only logical place, what looks like the mouth, which in reality is the outlet of the large intestine. In other words he really is an asshole.

  54. 54
    Tokyokie says:

    @LAC: Because he finds the view invigorating and the bouquet to be that of lavender and rose petals.

Comments are closed.