Daylight Comes, Our Heaven Turned to Hell

I realize that female anatomy is usually an area of low understanding for the average male, especially the right-wing male, but goddam:

Swanson: I’m beginning to get some evidence from certain doctors and certain scientists that have done research on women’s wombs after they’ve gone through the surgery, and they’ve compared the wombs of women who were on the birth control pill to those who were not on the birth control pill. And they have found that with women who are on the birth control pill, there are these little tiny fetuses, these little babies, that are embedded into the womb. They’re just like dead babies. They’re on the inside of the womb. And these wombs of women who have been on the birth control pill effectively have become graveyards for lots and lots of little babies.

That’s Kevin Swanson, a radio host whose co-host Dave Buehner holds the Burkean traditionalist view that feminists are “family-destroying whores”.

I wonder how Kevin dreamed up this theory. Did he misread the Wikipedia entry for fibroids? Did he feel something rattling around during his last (probably furtive and certainly brief) attempt at coitus? Of the universe of lies that one could tell about birth control, how does someone come up with a lie that fucking strange?

(via Dan Savage)






158 replies
  1. 1
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    The stupid. IT BURNS!

  2. 2
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    I bet he asked a Doctor of Theology from Liberty University. They would know all about those women parts through prayer.

    There’s a car that drives around my town with a “My child goes to Liberty University” decal. I keep wanting to find out the kids name so that I can avoid that person in the future.

  3. 3
    Hunter Gathers says:

    Of the universe of lies that one could tell about birth control, how does someone come up with a lie that fucking strange

    Sounds like Mr. Swanson is gearing up for a GOP Senate Primary run. Either that, or he’s just another panty sniffing asshole who’s angry that all those whores on birth control aren’t choosing to fornicate with the likes of Kevin Swanson.

  4. 4
    Keith G says:

    Sorry, but that is just the tip of the ice berg of crazy from this preacher/radio host.

  5. 5
    Robin G. says:

    Words fail.

  6. 6
    stinger says:

    I shudder to think of the mis- and non-information being provided to xian home-schooled kids on the topic of sex ed.

  7. 7
    Phoebe Jean says:

    I know I’ve got tons of gubmint-funded dead babies all up in my womb.

  8. 8
    geg6 says:

    Holy fuck, that is some industrial grade stoopid right there.

    Did he feel something rattling around during his last (probably furtive and certainly brief) attempt at coitus?

    Do we have any evidence that that he is even that familiar with anything resembling the female genitalia? I’m doubting it very much.

  9. 9
    Face says:

    OT, but add this to the list of shootings. At least 3 pushing up daisies in Utah.

    If guns are outlawed, only Mormons will have guns apparently.

  10. 10
    Poopyman says:

    This sounds like one of those “theories” that six year olds tell each other.

  11. 11

    @stinger: Well, I wasn’t home schooled, but I recall from my Baptist education that it was mostly medical slides of the reproductive systems, their component parts, the mechanics involved (stick Tab A into Slot B), and then a healthy dose of ‘never have sex unless you’re ready to have a baby.’

    Of course, by then, all of us boys had found our dad’s Playboy stash and were making crude jokes to each other outside of the teachers’ earshot.

  12. 12
    MikeJ says:

    @Phoebe Jean:

    I know I’ve got tons of gubmint-funded dead babies all up in my womb.

    I hope they all get Obamaphones.

  13. 13
    jl says:

    I’ve read stuff typed by commenters on blogs who claimed that they were doctors, and they said that reactionary white male brains not only look like scrambled eggs, but structurally, they are like scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs! Just mixed up blobs of confused protein.

    Think about that. How awful. These guys’ bad thinking have turned their brains into stinky rotting scrambled eggs inside their heads! Yucky.

  14. 14
    WereBear says:

    When you don’t have a sensible reason for thinking the way you do, that vacuum in the brain compels insensibility.

  15. 15
    MikeJ says:

    @Face:

    At least 3 pushing up daisies in Utah.

    They’re not dead, they just have lousy jobs.

  16. 16
    Bill Murray says:

    @geg6: He knows it’s all bacon and playdoh down there

  17. 17
    jibeaux says:

    I once was told and believed that Ozzy Osbourne had impregnated a cat. Of course, I was five at the time. I did not believe the part where he then supposedly killed the cat, because half-cat half-Ozzy babies would be AWESOME and clearly he was just hiding them in the attic.
    This is probably Kevin Swanson’s next breaking scientific story.

  18. 18
    stinger says:

    @Comrade Dread: Actually, that sounds quite a bit like my own public school experience, a thousand years ago.

  19. 19
    stinger says:

    @jl: Well, that does explain A LOT. I’m sure glad to know this. Praise the Intertoobs!

  20. 20
    catclub says:

    Daylight comes, and I Definitely wanna go home.

  21. 21
    Xecky Gilchrist says:

    Isn’t this the homunculus theory that had currency about the time the last papal resignation happened?

  22. 22
    evinfuilt says:

    @jl:

    How dare you insult eggs in such a way, chicken eggs (if fertilized) at least had a chance at intelligence, that poor radio host never had such an opportunity.

  23. 23
    WereBear says:

    @Xecky Gilchrist: I guess they really ARE pre-Reformation folks.

  24. 24
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    @Comrade Dread: My public school version of sex ed included your stuff plus a film showing women giving natural birth. Scared the girls more than any discussion of STDs.

  25. 25
    Narcissus says:

    I thought homunculus was like a little man in your skull pulling levers and throwing switches and shit

  26. 26

    This story was on the web last week. What’s really weird is if you read the whole conversation he has because he’s just … errrgh, trying so hard so very very hard to not look like a fucking loon. He goes on with this, “well, we’re checking on this, this is preliminary information, but we have no reason to think it’s not true and it really could be true but we’re checking and we’ll let you know …”

    Since the entire internet erupted into great heaving guffaws after this came out I’m pretty sure he has since found out that, y’know, it wasn’t true. Sigh.

    This is really part of a general issue I have with people trying to sell us shit — products, politices, laws, you names it — when they have no fucking clue what they’re talking about. Yes, we’re selling the idea that birth control causes tiny little abortions! But it doesn’t!

    Today I have a post up about Big Food selling the “harried mom demographic” a really ridiculous product that makes no sense, and I have to think some corporate MBA dude thought it up, some guy who never fucking has to cook dinner because if he did he’d understand why this product is ridiculous.

    And I’m pretty sure it’s a he because the company executives are all men.

  27. 27
    Violet says:

    I’m beginning to get some evidence from certain doctors and certain scientists that have done research on men’s brains after they’ve gone through the surgery and they’ve compared the brains of white, evangelical Christian men those who were not evangelical Christian and white. And they have found with white evangelical Christian men their brains are filled with tiny little pen1ses. They’re just embedded in there. They’re just like dead boy pen1ses. They’re on the inside of the brain. And these brains of white men who have are evangelical Christians have effectively become graveyards for boy pen1ses.

  28. 28
    Tonybrown74 says:

    [BLINK] [BLINK]

    HUH??

  29. 29
    Tonal Crow says:

    Of the universe of lies that one could tell about birth control, how does someone come up with a lie that fucking strange?

    Easy. A Republican thinks of the most repulsive thing he thinks he can gain political mileage from, then attributes it to his enemies. SATSQ.

  30. 30
    quannlace says:

    Sweet Jesus, how twisted are these people? And of course, note the usual use of the weasely word ‘certain’ doctors, scientists.

  31. 31
    BGinCHI says:

    Apparently he also thinks that when you get a “boner” one of your bones enters your penis and makes it hard.

    Where does this guy live cuz I want to mock him in person?

  32. 32
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    Bit by bit, the crushing burden of reality is driving the wingers further and further into their own alternative universe. I pray that between the FSM and quantum mechanics we’ll soon hear a clap of thunder as the air rushes into the spaces once occupied by wingnuts.

  33. 33
    TenguPhule says:

    Did he feel something rattling around during his last (probably furtive and certainly brief) attempt at coitus?

    Dude, if he’s banging them in the womb then he’s doing it so wrong that its not even funny.

  34. 34
    SatanicPanic says:

    I had a girlfriend on the pill and eventually the dead babies piled up so much that…

    actually, nevermind, I just had breakfast

  35. 35
    Tonal Crow says:

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    I pray that between the FSM and quantum mechanics we’ll soon hear a clap of thunder as the air rushes into the spaces once occupied by wingnuts.

    Instant Singularity’s gonna get you….

  36. 36
    scav says:

    @Face: Is it now SOP to put schools in lockdown any time there’s an expression of second amendment freeedomooom nearby? Puts snow days into perspective — but if they have to make them up later, goodby summer vacation.

  37. 37
    jeffreyw says:

    He was no doubt browsing the Letters of the Royal Society, as is his wont.

    But many of our imaginations and investigations of nature are futile, especially when we see little living animals and see their legs and must judge the same to be ten thousand times thinner than a hair of my beard, and when I see animals living that are more than a hundred times smaller and am unable to observe any legs at all, I still conclude from their structure and the movements of their bodies that they do have legs… and therefore legs in proportion to their bodies, just as is the case with the larger animals upon which I can see legs… Taking this number to be about a hundred times smaller, we therefore find a million legs, all these together being as thick as a hair from my beard, and these legs, besides having the instruments for movement, must be provided with vessels to carry food. — Antonie van Leeuwenhoek 1685

  38. 38

    My mom went to a Catholic high school back in the 1940s. A Jesuit priest taught their “health” class. She said they learned that condom manufacturers put a pin-prick in one out of every 10 condoms at the factory. Seriously.

    This sorta reminds me of that story.

    I asked her, “but did you ask him why a condom manufacturer would do that? It doesn’t seem like it would be good for business to have your product fail regularly.” She said no one thought of that.

    Sigh.

  39. 39
    GregB says:

    Besides making me throw-up in my mouth, good God, no wonder these people go through life terrified.

    That sounds like something out of a Heironymous Bosch painting.

    The sooner this anti-science lunatics get driven back to the margins of society the better.

  40. 40
    blueneck says:

    Keep fucking that chicken!

  41. 41
    catclub says:

    @jeffreyw: “must be provided with vessels to carry food.”

    A million Little tiny beer steins!

    …oh, blood vessels. Nevermind.

  42. 42
    AliceBlue says:

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent):
    We had a natural birth film in my “Preparation for Marriage” class (this was 1971). Afterwards all the guys were pale and looked like they were going to puke; the girls were all “man, why didn’t she just ask for some drugs?”

  43. 43
    jl says:

    @jeffreyw: Well, those Dutch dudes who invented the microscope hundreds of years ago put their splooge under the lens. Did you know there are little people inside the sperms? That’s right, that’s just what they saw. They wrote it down and everything.

    It all fits. Science!

  44. 44
    MattW says:

    So a tiny version of the Source Wall from DC Comics?

  45. 45
    Pathman says:

    Um, no. I look at hysterectomies for a living. Just, no.

  46. 46
    GregB says:

    Also too, can the liberal left come up with a similar talking point used by the right wing when they talk about guns:

    “If you don’t know the difference between a gun clip and a gun magazine you have no right to talk about guns.”

    This should be applied to gay people, global warming and women’s vaginas.

    “If you can’t tell the difference between a womb and a Tales from the Crypt plot line, you have no right discussing reproductive rights.”

  47. 47
    Tonal Crow says:

    @Pathman:

    Um, no. I look at hysterectomies for a living. Just, no.

    You’re part of the lib’ral conspiracy keeping THE FACTS from AMERICA!!!!! Haven’t you ever heard of WOMBGATE!?!?! and falsyfying data!!!!!! Sperm is not a pollutant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    /typical wingnut

  48. 48
    Hypatia's Momma says:

    @Southern Beale:
    I simply must name my next rock band “The Heaving Guffaws”.

  49. 49
    Betsy says:

    Waht the fvck? OK, the next thing I want to know is — WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?

    After Todd Akin blurted about rape and pregnancy, his “theory” it turned out to have come from some old old source that used to be considered “medical wisdom,” rooted in Herodotus or perhaps Hippocrates, and currently repeated by “modern” conservadolts and there was more than one example.

    Someone on here found the source and explained how it is still current thinking among conservadolts and home-skoolers

    Anyone got the skinny on this one?

    What medieval “philosopher” first promulgated this “dead homunculus in the womb” notion?

    Or is it from a misogynist ancient Greek wiseacre?

    Or some Arab physician of the year 900 whose “wisdom” was translated into Norman French after the crusades?

  50. 50

    @Xecky Gilchrist: No, I believe that homonculous dates all the way back to Aristotle. If so, good grief, they’re not wanting to take us back to the 1950’s but before Jesus (about 300 BC). Why do the agree with those women hating, homosexual loving ancient Greeks? More importantly, why do they hate Jesus?

  51. 51
    hoodie says:

    They can’t be dead babies, because Norforms could’t cover that smell. Must be in sort of suspended undead zombie state, awaiting harvest.

  52. 52

    I just guessing here, but it sounds like he heard a lecture on the process of ova production – all the eggs already existing, attachment to the uteral wall and sloughing – and he knew so little biology that he grabbed a few words and thought he understood. After all, he knows contraception is evil, so something like this is expected.

  53. 53
    Mudge says:

    One of these guys…from Wikipedia.

    [Phil] Gingrey is one of three OB/GYNs in the current House, the other two being fellow Republicans Michael Burgess of Texas and Phil Roe of Tennessee.[

    Or maybe Tom Coburn from Oklahoma, also an OB/GYN.

    My money is on Gingrey.

  54. 54
    scav says:

    Or some Arab physician of the year 900 whose “wisdom” was translated into Norman French after the crusades?

    A muslim via surrender monkey belief now accepted as latest greatest saving ‘merca talking point?! contented sigh. . .

  55. 55
    Gus says:

    I wonder how Kevin dreamed up this theory

    From the oft cited expert that Charles Pierce often cites, Otto Yerass.

  56. 56
    Grincheuse says:

    I listened to right wing radio for a couple of minutes the other day. A young man called the male host and asked his opinion about fighting abortion rights. His “conservative” friends felt that abortion needed to be ended at the federal level and his “libertarian” friends felt it should be fought at the state level. Do libertarians actually oppose abortion? I was surprised by that since I share religious views — although no other views — with Ayn Rand, myself.

  57. 57
    TooManyJens says:

    What’s weird about this (well, besides the obvious) is that the usual line from the anti-Pill faction is that it prevents implantation. So this guy, who clearly just feels icky about birth control and is casting about for reasons why, can’t even get that right. The evidence for prevention of implantation isn’t that good either, btw, but at least it’s based on something resembling science.

    It’s a sign of how far we’ve sunk that I’m just grateful this didn’t come from an elected official.

  58. 58

    @Grincheuse:
    There is a very large overlap between self-declared libertarians and conservative Christians, yes. Ron Paul, for example. It is the clearest demonstration that they say ‘property rights’ but they MEAN ‘I Got Mine, Fuck You’.

    EDIT – And I cannot sufficiently stress how much by ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’ they mean ‘stop preventing me from oppressing other people.’

  59. 59
    jrg says:

    Holy shit… I’m just a simple caveman. Your modern medicine confuses and frightens me.

  60. 60
    Tonybrown74 says:

    Vulva: the Gateway to the Dead Baby Cemetery.

    Is it me? Or do you get the feeling that these people are not only ignorant about women’s bodies, but are fearful?

  61. 61

    the only good swanson is Ron Swanson.

  62. 62
    TooManyJens says:

    @Tonybrown74: Completely fucking terrified. Which is what so much of right-wing ideology is based on, of course.

  63. 63
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Xecky Gilchrist:

    It wouldn’t be the first time that weirdly ancient theories have popped back into the wingnut consciousness. I think another one I saw was the notion that sperm hangs around in the womb for years after you have sex, so if you have premarital sex and then later get married, you could have the baby of the guy you had sex with five years ago instead of your husband’s! Da-da-daaaaaaah!

  64. 64
    Joel says:

    That’s it, canceling my subscription to Nature. At least presuming Swanson has a newsletter or journal that I can subscribe to.

  65. 65
  66. 66
    smith says:

    Keep the “outreach” efforts going GOP.

    Just goes to show that most talk-show hosts are nothing more than dog turds with legs.

  67. 67
    RedKitten says:

    Jeebus…I was on the pill for 18 years before having kids. I’m surprised there was actually any room for the fetus in there, what with all the dead whore-pill babies.

  68. 68
    scav says:

    forgive me. off at NYT, taking detour into article about MO couple accused of chaining the husband’s teenage son to a steel pole in the basement. “Court documents say the boy’s weight had dropped from 130 pounds to 103 pounds. The couple says the boy is bipolar.”

    forgive for for the snortgiggle, it was possibly loud enough to break through the digital walls.

  69. 69
    kc says:

    Oh my God! They’re not wombs, they’re TOMBS! I’m full of dead babies! Agggghhhhh!

  70. 70
    kc says:

    Oh my God! They’re not wombs, they’re TOMBS! I’m full of dead babies! Agggghhhhh!

  71. 71
    kc says:

    Seriously, tens of thousands of wingnuts will hear this and BELIEVE it and teach it to their children.

  72. 72
    kc says:

    @TooManyJens:

    It’s a sign of how far we’ve sunk that I’m just grateful this didn’t come from an elected official.

    Let’s commence the countdown to the first repetition of this horsheshit from an elected official.

    We can have pool on what state the official will represent – dibs on Oklahoma.

  73. 73

    @Betsy: We should all follow the wisdom of Ron Swanson’s pyramid of greatness. http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes......greatness/

  74. 74
    Paul in KY says:

    @jibeaux: I bet Ozzy would get a kick out of that story. Would like to hear him comment on it.

  75. 75
    Tonal Crow says:

    @kc: Yeah. Inhofe or bust!

  76. 76
    Tonybrown74 says:

    @TooManyJens:

    Now that my initial, “whatthefuck?” shock has warn off, I can’t help but see a sad humor in this. They’re like little 8 year old boys daring each other to go into the scary abandoned house or, coincidentally enough, graveyard.

    “I dare you to go in there!”

    “Nah uh! I’m not going in there! You go in!”

    “What are you? Chicken?”

    “I’m not chicken! You’re chicken!”

    How do these people even have sex?

  77. 77
    GregB says:

    The calls are coming from inside your womb!

    Yeeeaaaaaaarrrgghhh!!!!!

  78. 78
    ricky says:

    All those years I laid with head on Mommy’s tummy as she read to me. Now I realize those rumbles I heard were not, as she claimed, Mexican food, but the tiny screams of dead brothers and sisters I will forever never know.

  79. 79
    Paul in KY says:

    You know, if you put your ear down there beside one of these liberal wimmens hoohaw, you can hear the little fetuseses crying out.

  80. 80
    Paul in KY says:

    @Hypatia’s Momma: How about: Fetus Graveyard?

    Be good for a speed metal band or horror rock (think GWAR).

  81. 81
    Tonal Crow says:

    @Paul in KY:

    You know, if you put your ear down there beside one of these liberal wimmens hoohaw, you can hear the little fetuseses crying out.

    How long before some mass shooter trots this out as an excuse? And the NRA heh-indeeds the idea that contraception causes mass shootings?

  82. 82
    Gex says:

    @Grincheuse: If you take libertarians at their word, it makes sense that this would confuse you. But real world study of the North American Libertarian finds that they nearly universally vote Republican no matter what, calling into question whether the North American Libertarian is actually its own species.

  83. 83
    jibeaux says:

    @TooManyJens: Exactly. I thought it actually was designed to do that as a secondary line of defense (make any eggs that did get released and fertilized less likely to attach). In this guy’s world, they’re attaching, resisting any bodily attempts to slough them off monthly, but not growing because they’re…remaining in suspended animation? Dying?

  84. 84
    MattF says:

    Just bear in mind that this is the best wingnut argument against contraception. “It’s really just a kind of abortion.” You have been warned.

    ETA: Note that ‘Every sperm is sacred’ has apparently been abandoned.

  85. 85
    scav says:

    wait wait, can we get them to believe that all those little embedded babies are, of course by now, very very very hungry and thus prone to viciously eat any and all fresh new meat that appears in their general vicinity?

  86. 86
    Tonal Crow says:

    @Gex:

    @Grincheuse: If you take libertarians at their word, it makes sense that this would confuse you. But real world study of the North American Libertarian finds that they nearly universally vote Republican no matter what, calling into question whether the North American Libertarian is actually its own species.

    I’ve often heard libertarians described as “Republicans who like to smoke pot”. I would amend that slightly by adding “, but want to send you to prison for doing the same”.

  87. 87
    jibeaux says:

    @Paul in KY: He’s probably heard it, and weirder too.

  88. 88
    chopper says:

    my reaction to this story can be wholesale represented by the rage comic image of jackie chan.

  89. 89
    Paul in KY says:

    @kc: That is the response they are looking for.

  90. 90
    Paul in KY says:

    @kc: I have Mississippi!

  91. 91
    Paul in KY says:

    @Tonal Crow: Unfortunately wouldn’t surprise me. That is also probably a reason for them to try such crazy lies out.

  92. 92
    ricky says:

    How many of them dead womb babies were the result of natural defenses women folk have against real rape?

  93. 93
    TooManyJens says:

    @Tonybrown74:

    How do these people even have sex?

    My guess would be: very, very badly.

  94. 94
    Paul in KY says:

    @scav: Good idea. Although I think alot of them are looking for another entry point & another sex.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Only their hypocrisy.

  95. 95
    liberal says:

    Wait until these stupid sick f***ing perverts hear about germ cell tumors…

  96. 96
    Paul in KY says:

    @jibeaux: You know it. He has weirder stories that are actually true!

  97. 97
    The Moar You Know says:

    I can’t shake the feeling that Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner have rather large closets.

  98. 98
    liberal says:

    @jibeaux:
    Yeah, though now there’s all this ethics brewing about putting human genes in animals, or making human/animal chimera, IIRC.

  99. 99
    cckids says:

    @stinger:

    I shudder to think of the mis- and non-information being provided to xian home-schooled kids on the topic of sex ed.

    Why bother? I’m sure it consists of one word: “DON’T”

  100. 100
    jl says:

    And if you pick your nose, your nostrils will grow together into one big gaping hole and people will laugh at you. Did you know that?

    Step on a crack, you’ll break your mother’s back.

    You can tell a witch by tying her up and throwing her in a pool of water. If she floats long enough to avoid drowning, she’s guilty.

    So much knowledge comes from good old fashioned Real Science, and it’s a tragedy that liberals have hi jacked it with ideological junk.

    She’s a witch!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fr8DIg3oHFI

  101. 101
    dmbeaster says:

    Just another wingnut extending the demonization of abortion to birth-control.

  102. 102
    AliceBlue says:

    @kc:
    I’m gonna go with Tennessee.

  103. 103
    cckids says:

    @AliceBlue: My very Catholic high school showed a similar film, with the same results. Funnily, our teacher was approximately 8 1/2 months pregnant at the time; for the rest of the classes until the baby was born, the guys all watched her as though aliens would erupt soon or something. She found it hysterical.

  104. 104
    Redshirt says:

    Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!

  105. 105
    sb says:

    The late chess champion Bobby Fischer, who was crazier than a shithouse rat, once said this:

    I’m very concerned because I think the Jews want to drive the elephants to extinction because the trunk of an elephant reminds them of an uncircumcised penis. I’m absolutely serious about that… Jews are sick, they’re mental cases.

    Before today, I honestly thought I’d never read or hear something so goddamn nutty. But then along came Kevin Swanson…

  106. 106
    Paul in KY says:

    @jl: Of course, if she drowns the good old fashioned way, then we know the dead woman wasn’t a witch. There’s a certain logic to that…

  107. 107
    Tonybrown74 says:

    This country has a bizarre cluelessness WRT sexuality (and especially female sexuality).

    I was talking to a female coworker about our Holiday party back in December. She had asked me if was bringing a date, and I mentioned I was bringing a friend, Ruth.

    Another coworker (male, obviously) overheard this, and, because I am quite openly gay, was immediately confused. He asked if “Ruth” was a woman.

    I said yes.

    He then asked WHY would I bring a woman. I replied what does the gender of my date matter, since it’s just a party.

    It took a moment for me to realize where he was coming from, and then I became annoyed enough to say, “just because I’m gay doesn’t mean that I’m afraid of vagina.”

    I probably shouldn’t have said that to him.

  108. 108
    geg6 says:

    @kc:
    @Paul in KY:

    You’re both losers. I’m taking South Cackalacky. In my experience, that’s the ground zero of the crazy.

    @Paul in KY:

    You know, if you put your ear down there beside one of these liberal wimmens hoohaw, you can hear the little fetuseses crying out.

    I fully expect to hear this on FOX and Friends tomorrow morning.

  109. 109
    greenergood says:

    @Tonybrown74: That’s what beer and bourbon are for.

  110. 110
    LanceThruster says:

    Oh, to be infested with baby babies (internally even, doncha know?)!

  111. 111
    MikeJ says:

    Celtic – Juventus about to start. Where’s the footy thread?

  112. 112
    Higgs Boson's Mate says:

    @MikeJ:

    Celtic – Juventus about to start. Where’s the footy thread?

    On some Brit sports blog?

  113. 113
    jeffreyw says:

    fywp FYWP FYWP

  114. 114
    Omens Omnibus says:

    Argh!

  115. 115
    Paul in KY says:

    @geg6: If Meygyn (or whatever her name is) uses it, I’m going to do a Kaepernick!

  116. 116
    scav says:

    @Tonybrown74: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that all paired-relationships between a male and female are sexual in nature. There are no other possible bonds between the entities.

    There really is a deeper problem behind their cluelessness, and they both exhibit it..

  117. 117
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    Hey, I found a picture of Kevin Swanson.

  118. 118
    Anoniminous says:

    Laughing so hard I’ve got tears running and damn near peeing in my pants.

    lordy, lordy. The things those stupid morons come out with.

  119. 119
    mdblanche says:

    @Tonybrown74: They close their eyes and think of England the guy they’d rather be doing it with.

    @Redshirt: I never did trust that Mrs. Krabappel. She was much too blase when showing the children Fuzzy Bunny’s Guide to You Know What.

  120. 120
    MikeJ says:

    Celtic 0 – 1 Juventus

  121. 121
    nemesis says:

    At times, when my erect peenie bumps into some of those lingering dead vajayjay babies, my peenie says, like, “Woah!That aint cool”, and then tends toward flaccidity. Ive contended all along that such a reaction wasnt my fault, ya know with flouride in the drinking water and stuff…

  122. 122
    Redshirt says:

    @mdblanche: Why do you say that? It was a perfectly cromulent sex ed video.

  123. 123
    Suzanne says:

    I will never understand the level of immaturity that leads to this thinking. This is even more childish than thinking that girls have cooties. How can you be that grossed out and clueless about women’s bodies, especially when you purport to want to touch them?!?! I mean, how could you possibly have a normal, healthy sexual relationship with that kind of attitude?

    Oh. Yeah. Right. I forgot.

  124. 124
    schrodinger's cat says:

    @Suzanne: They fear women, and they hate what they don’t understand.

  125. 125
    JPL says:

    OT..The Hagel committee vote is being streamed on CSPAN. Members can each speak 8 minutes and then the vote will occur.

  126. 126
    Mnemosyne says:

    @JPL:

    So, really, the only way his nomination can fail is if Senate Democrats vote against him.

    Yeah, I’m not feeling much better about that.

  127. 127
    JPL says:

    @Mnemosyne: McCain is up and surge worked and Benghazi..

  128. 128
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @Suzanne: no, you don’t get it. This is where cooties come from, like, scientifically. Like how The Force is a product of midichlorians.

  129. 129
    Mike Lamb says:

    So if I know my biology…the womb is Hades, the viable eggs are Eurydice, the sperm is Orpheus, and there is a tiny raftsman that transports the sperm across the River Styx in order to rescue the live baby?

  130. 130
    Cheryl from Maryland says:

    This thread is full of win.

  131. 131
    Ruckus says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Thank You.
    I needed a good laugh.
    However I don’t see how he is smart enough to have put that up in the first place.

  132. 132
    Tonybrown74 says:

    Now the immaturity in me comes out.

    Imagine comedy gold with a prostitue, a repressed pastor, and a ventriloquist hiding in the closet (or under the bed).

  133. 133
    David in NY says:

    Waht the fvck? OK, the next thing I want to know is — WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?

    Me too. One reason I like this blog is that enough of the denizens dip their toes into the crazy that one of them can usually “explain” or at least give some insight into the origin of this nonsense. But so far, nada.

  134. 134

    Maybe Swanson confused Richard Brautigan’s poem “The Pill Versus the Springhill Mine Disaster” with a science text?

    When you take your pill
    it’s like a mine disaster.
    I think of all the people
    lost inside of you.

  135. 135
    Michele C says:

    @Ruckus: Someone smarter put it there for him. Maybe his mommy is smart? (I know, genetically it’s unlikely, but I had to guess something.)

    I know you all are funny, but this revolted and scared me even with all the humor in this thread. {{SHIVER}}

  136. 136
    Ruckus says:

    @Tonybrown74:
    Sounds like the perfect response.

    How did he react?

  137. 137
    David in NY says:

    @TooManyJens:

    the usual line from the anti-Pill faction is that it prevents implantation

    Ah, I see it. Sometimes it obviously doesn’t prevent it — it just makes that fertilized egg implant too deep. Why not, after all? Little babies implanted everywhere.

  138. 138
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @Mike Lamb: Oh, totally. That’s why it’s called the nether world.

  139. 139
    David in NY says:

    @low-tech cyclist: I remember that poem from when it came out. What was with Brautigan anyway?

  140. 140
    Ruckus says:

    @Michele C:
    I was thinking that any one smarter than him would not want to have anything to do with him. Mom making him move out of state, or doing so herself, that kind of thing.

    ETA, I think we have to laugh, the only other reasonable response would be to run screaming onto the freeway.

  141. 141
    Tonybrown74 says:

    @Ruckus:

    A bit miffed, and then he said, “I know that.”

    And then I asked, “then what’s your confusion, then?”

    Silence.

    My female coworker rolled her eyes at that point.

  142. 142
    Ruckus says:

    @Tonybrown74:
    So it was the proper response.
    Are people just afraid of the unknown? That would explain this idiot. Of course in the case of having sex I’m not sure any actual facts or true info is necessary. Nature pretty much tells us where the parts go so it really is a social issue, getting two or more individuals to agree on the time, place and possible degree of difficulty.

  143. 143
    El Cid says:

    The major opposition conservative (and just recently ruling) party doesn’t know where babies come from.

  144. 144
    Paul in KY says:

    @Mike Lamb: You’d get an A in a Liberty University Biology class (Theology class too).

    Actually, it might be the same class…

  145. 145
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:LOL. Eating a late lunch… good thing I was between bites of food and couldn’t choke.

  146. 146
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Mike Lamb: Not sure about knowing your biology but you know Greek mythology pretty well.

  147. 147
    Betsy says:

    @kc: dibs on Alabam’

  148. 148
    NR says:

    This sounds like someone the Democrats desperately need to compromise with. After all, compromise and bipartisanship are the solutions to everything!

  149. 149
    Citizen_X says:

    I think Swanson’s head must be full of tiny dead rational thoughts. Just a graveyard of rational thought in there.

  150. 150
    General Stuck says:

    This sounds like someone the Democrats desperately need to compromise with. After all, compromise and bipartisanship are the solutions to everything!

    In space, no one can hear you fap.

  151. 151
  152. 152
    Redshirt says:

    @David in NY: The 60’s. And Drugs. And more drugs. And probably a psychosis or two.

  153. 153
    Nicole says:

    Late to the party but A) this is crazy and B) excellent title. One of my very favorite RO songs.

  154. 154
    Julie Anne says:

    I’ve been on Swanson’s tail on my blog because I used to be in this environment and know the damage it can do to people. I’ve been tweeting him almost daily, in addition to his friend, RC Sproul Jr. both of whom are promoting a movie called Birth Control: How Did we Get Here? These men have an agenda and don’t care if their information is made up or not.

    If you look on my blog, I mention his follow-up response which is essentially a non-response. He does not cite any sources. Additionally, I have been commenting on his Facebook page. Sometimes my comments have “mysteriously” disappeared. However, when I commented that I would be taking a screen shot and posting on my blog, my comments were “unhidden”. Go figure.

    By the way, he has taken down the original radio broadcast, but he hasn’t admitted that he was wrong or provided sources.

  155. 155
    danielx says:

    @Hunter Gathers:

    Or it could be that he’s one of those (very few!) who choose to save themselves for the holy bonds of matrimony, a la The Virgin Ben.

    As to the question of….

    Of the universe of lies that one could tell about birth control, how does someone come up with a lie that fucking strange?

    Simple enough, as Bill Maher once said to Ann Coulter:

    “You just make shit up.”

    And the wingnuts eat that shit up with a spoon.

  156. 156
    Tbone says:

    Wait …..so that’s not how it works? So confused ….

  157. 157
    g says:

    Sick motherfucker.

  158. 158
    LanceThruster says:

    @nemesis: Something is clearly sapping your Purity Of Essence.

Comments are closed.