I pay extra for supposedly a better Internet connection from the execrable bastards at Time Warner, may they all rot in hell after enduring years of pustulous boils, sulphuous, uncontrollable flatulence, and impotence brought on by an infestation of testicular guinea worms. This morning, their expensive service was crawling along like a mid-nineties dialup connection, so I began an odyssey that took me to BestBuy to get a new modem, and had me on the phone with 5 different tech support agents. It wasn’t until an hour (literally) into the last tech support call with an extremely pleasant and knowledgeable young woman that she was informed by one of her co-workers that “oh, yeah, we have an outage in that area”.
Like most of the US, there is no “market” for Internet providers for home service in my fair city. You can buy DSL, which is too fucking slow, wireless or satellite, which is relatively slow and has a tiny bandwidth cap, or you can take your hat in hand and get it filled with whatever scheiss is on offer from the cable TV operator, in this case Time Warner. Time Warner is actually not quite as bad as Comcast, since they don’t cap bandwidth, and they’re better than some smaller operators, since they will actually sell you service based on a technology invented in the last decade (DOCSIS-3). Of course, they charge way too much for it, but the only way those monopolistic fucks will lower their prices is if Google brings fiber to your town.
So after this outage is over (seems to be, since I can log here), I’ll be plugging in my old modem, having it re-provisioned (which, unless I talk to the same intelligent woman I spoke with earlier, will take 2-3 tries) and returning the new modem to Best Buy. Then I will be having a couple of stiff fucking drinks because we are all doomed by a system that celebrates oligopolies as markets.