Open Thread: Posturing for His Fellow Primates


(via Paul Constant at the Stranger)
Yes, Rand Paul is a whiny little turd, he’s blatantly setting up for his presidential run in 2016, and he’s been informed by smarter people that if Hillary runs in 2016 he’ll get as much attention from the media as the evening’s “confused old person/drunk puts car thru storefront window” teaser. And his fellow jerkwads Republican interrogators are no better.

But what really struck me, watching these dipsticks in action, is that they’re not paying as much attention to Madame Clinton — or even to the cameras — as they are to their fellow Republicans.

For my sins in some previous life, I grew up with a brother eighteen months younger than I, and another one fourteen months younger than him. And today’s Earnest Ben-Ghazi Inquisition strongly recalled memories of those brothers and their idiot friends, any time between the ages of approximately eight and thirteen, boldly announcing to each other that they were proud, manly individuals who would have no truck with guuurls and their girl-cooties. The intensity & fervour of these proclamations, IIRC, peaked around the seventh grade, as the more physically mature members of the tribe… well, they no longer hung around trying to pester their friends’ older sister, so I assume they must’ve found something else to do with their time. (Which, in those pre-internet days, involved shoplifting copies of Playboy from the corner cigar store, or sneaking the deck of ‘special postcards’ in the back of their dad’s closet.)

I don’t think today’s Congressional fustercluck was intended to “get” (annoy) Hillary Clinton as much as it was intended for the committee members to shore up their own wounded Republican vanities. And I can only hope that while the little boys were flexing their pale pipestem neointerventionist biceps for each other, the more mature Repubs were quietly sneaking peaks at Nate Silver and other reality-porn pushers…

Apart from the Capital Hill circus clowns, what’s on the agenda for the evening?

57 replies
  1. 1
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    I love how DougJ just pulled his post that was big-footing on this one. Seriously, you folks need to refresh the front page before hitting “publish” haha.

    And go Hillary!

  2. 2
    NotMax says:

    Doug’s post truly went Galt.


  3. 3
    NotMax says:

    Yes, Rand Paul is a whiny little turd, he’s blatantly setting up for his presidential run in 2016

    On the AquaBuddha ticket?

    Rand Paul ineluctably proves that the road apple doesn’t fall far from the tree horse’s ass.

  4. 4
    Raven says:

    Punk is all I can come up with.

  5. 5
    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist says:

    Charlie Pierce thinks paul should run for president on his own time. That pretty much sums up my own feelings about him.

    Grampy McCain also got into the act because when did he ever pass up the opportunity to preen.

  6. 6
    quannlace says:

    Rand Paul for 2016. He’s ‘Santorum-Lite!’

    Seriously, what can this guy offer in his bid for the Presidency, but a record of obstruction.

    I think he looks more iike a Hobbit than a troll. But one of the tiresome Sackville-Baggins’.

  7. 7
    NotMax says:


    Paul does not strike me at all as someone with the slightest interest in governance. Rather, what he’s interested in and craves is power.

    Punk, indeed.

  8. 8
    Chris says:

    I don’t think today’s Congressional fustercluck was intended to “get” (annoy) Hillary Clinton as much as it was intended for the committee members to shore up their own wounded Republican vanities.

    Yes, I think that’s right. Empty bluster is what they live for.

    Apart from the Capital Hill circus clowns, what’s on the agenda for the evening?

    Asking two questions for the Balloon Juice crowd, since it’s an open thread;

    1) Any idea why, whenever I post from my mobile, it tells me “your comment failed to appear,” but in fact the comment does appear as soon as I refresh? It doesn’t really matter, since it’s not interfering with my posting abilities, but I’m just curious.

    2) Any idea why – on my laptop this time – whenever I look in the top corner under “recent posts” (no matter what the page is) it lists every post except the very most recent one? Is it supposed to be doing that, or is it just my computer? Again, it doesn’t really matter. I’m just curious.

  9. 9
    Robin G. says:

    May the good lord save this country from the ids of politicians.

    I’m spending this evening mainlining Korean soap operas. My husband has been out of town for a week so I’m going through all the shows he doesn’t like.

  10. 10
    RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist says:


    Paul does not strike me at all as someone with the slightest interest in governance

    He’s made it clear that reducing government is his goal, and if elected that will be his full-time job. Actual governing, whatever’s left of it, will be someone else’s wheelhouse.

  11. 11
    gelfling545 says:

    @quannlace: That’s the question isn’t it. He thought a lot of things that seemed great to him but other people thought were nuts & he said a few snarky things about various Democrats. Not exactly a record of achievement to run on – even Romney had more than this to offer and look how well that turned out.

    His father should have named him from that other book beloved of adolescent nerds. Frodo Paul seems about right.

  12. 12
    GregB says:

    Rand Paul, another legacy hack shitheel grifter.

    I hope he enjoys being king of the world while standing athwart a pile of tea-bags because he’s going to end up like Pat Buchanan before his career ends.

    A sputtering, vile, racist stooge with a constituency that can fit into an SUV.

  13. 13
    El Cid says:

    ‘Grrrrrr! I show you all I am strong! I not fear this witch woman! You not primary me, you not see how I show big strong muscle to the demon lady who kills own tribe?’

  14. 14
    shortstop says:

    @RossInDetroit, Rational Subjectivist: Yes, and it’s even worse: he sees himself as some sort of quasi- objectivist messiah. He’s from the family that’s going to bring Rand to the savages, teaching us all why our belief in clean drinking water and non-segregated restaurants is idiotic and backward.

  15. 15
    shortstop says:

    @shortstop: no edit function. That was supposed to be “bring AYN Rand to the savages.”

  16. 16
    Baud says:

    Rand’s shtick will be to try to marry his dad’s liberal supporters with the traditional conservative base of the GOP.

  17. 17
    Dave N. says:

    The GOP is looking for ideas on how to improve. They helpfully provided an email address to send your suggestions.

  18. 18
    waratah says:

    Hillary looked like she was going to burst out laughing at one point
    with his childish rant.

  19. 19
    Ted & Hellen says:

    Dumb as a post, but I still think he’s hot.

    I’d fuck him while shoving that shoving that cute, dumb face into his embroidered GOP pillow and whipping his ass with his toupee.


  20. 20
    Hal says:

    Is Rand Paul all that popular? Outside of Teabaggers and those looking for him to carry on the legacy of his father, which by the way, you really have to appreciate the irony of a family of folks who hate big, evil Government making a life long career out of it.

    Oh, and the Repubs really do seem to only have barrel scrapings left for 2016. There’s always Chris Christie, but he might as well run as a Dem or Independent.

  21. 21
    Ted & Hellen says:


    Paul does not strike me at all as someone with the slightest interest in governance. Rather, what he’s interested in and craves is power.

    Come on…any politician craves power, especially one who makes it as far as Washington D.C.

  22. 22
    Trakker says:

    Having been forced to suffer through Nixon and Reagan and Shrub, in my lifetime, it’s only fair that the political gods would serve up RandPaul as the GOP candidate against Hillary. pleasePleasePLEASE let this happen.

  23. 23
    mir13 says:

    What’s amazing to me is how completely useless and utterly insignificant this freak is. The closest he’ll get to the Presidency is fantasizing about him while he’s in the wetsuit.

    But hey, go for it Ran-day. I’m actually looking forward to the Primary fight against Palin in ’16. Should get ugly.

  24. 24
    Emma says:

    Well, since this is an open thread…

    We had to put kitty to sleep this afternoon. His liver and his kidneys were failing, and he could barely breathe. It all happened in the space of three days. Before he had been listless, but he was able to eat a little and do his business. On the one hand, I’m going to miss his little face getting between me and the Kindle and peering into the screen. On the other hand, it was relatively painless and fast. Still… I’ll miss the demanding little monster.

  25. 25
    Peregrinus says:


    Oh, geez. I’m so sorry to hear this. Thoughts with you and yours.

  26. 26
    Julia Grey says:

    I’m spending this evening mainlining Korean soap operas.

    I just finished the one called “Faith.” It’s great. I got it off Hulu Plus.

    It’s set in the 1300s. Oy, the costumes. Gorgeous.

    Storyline is: heroic captain of king’s guard (very purdy!), desperate to help the queen who has just barely survived an assassination attempt, leaps through the “door to heaven” that periodically appears in a cleft in the mountains of Goreyo. He comes down in 21st century Gangnam and effectively kidnaps the first doctor he finds, a female cosmetic surgeon that he observes repairing much the same wound as the queen has.

    21st Century girl is NOT happy about being transported back to the 1300s, and a lot of her reaction is very funny. She also does. not. like. the person who kidnapped her, and even stabs him in the stomach while trying to get away. But of course the handsome heroic warrior is heroic, and she is lively, skilled and beautiful, so over the many weeks in which she becomes a pawn in a monarchical power struggle and discovers mysterious items that seem to come from her own self, but were handed down from an era 100 years BEFORE the time she is in now, she and her kidnapper are forced to spend much time together, so….

    Hey, shuddup. It’s a SOAP OPERA.

  27. 27
    jheartney says:

    I see little Rand as merely doing the traditional “son takes over from dad in the family business.” That the family business is losing presidential elections is a bit of an innovation, but you must admit that the money’s good, and since neither has the slightest chance of being elected, Rand should be able to keep at it for a good long stretch.

  28. 28
    Emma says:

    @Peregrinus: Thank you. In a way it’s ok. Kitty was 18 and getting very tired and the vet clinic where we took him were fantastic to him, so he basically just slipped away very fast. Not a terrible way to go.

  29. 29
    donnah says:

    I saw bits of those “lectures” that Rand Paul and McCain doled out, and they can both go fuck themselves. Hillary’s got more guts and integrity than both of them combined.

  30. 30
    jenn says:

    @Emma: Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. I’m glad it was painless. Best wishes.

  31. 31
    Julia Grey says:

    I’d fk him while…[redacted]


    That said, someone really should do something naughty to his toupée. Like “accidentally” catching the curls of it it on their jacket sleeve buttons and walking away quickly.

  32. 32
    Peregrinus says:


    I suppose not. My parents had a similar experience with our dog last March. He was fourteen, and like that, he essentially slipped away within twenty-four hours.

  33. 33
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Emma: I’ve said it before, but it’s such a shame we can’t be equally merciful with our human loved ones.

  34. 34

    Apart from the Capital Hill circus clowns, what’s on the agenda for the evening?

    Watching Rachel Maddow call the clown car replay-by-play at 9pm Eastern! So much failure concentrated in one place made quite the disturbance in the Force.

  35. 35
    JoyceH says:

    Y’know, pardon me if I get shallow here for a moment. But the fact is that Paul could be the smartest, wisest, kindest, boldest and most courageous man in politics today, and he still has absolutely ZERO chance of getting the nomination of any major party – because let’s face it, he’s got a dweeby little face and a dweeby little voice. The public will imagine looking at that and listening to that for four years, and answer, ‘Naaah.’

    Add in his crappy personality, personal beliefs and stupidity, and his chances fall into below zero territory.

  36. 36

    @jheartney: It worked for Lyndon LaRouche, by Gaia, and that gravy train ain’t gonna drive itself.

  37. 37
    Emma says:

    @Gin & Tonic: That’s what my father said to the vet: I wouldn’t want my family to keep me hooked up to machines and in pain.

  38. 38
    22over7 says:

    @Julia Grey:

    You really think it’s a toupee? That’s disappointing. I was just imagining him as Randpaul Sackville-Baggins, and he needs curly hair. Bald, he’d be terrifying.

    Emma, so sorry for your loss. I bought bright little picture frames and put pics of my long loved and lost guys in them. Now I hang them on my Christmas tree every year, and spend a little time with them that way.

  39. 39
    gelfling545 says:

    @El Cid: Or as my Dad used to say “Strong like bull; smart like chicken.”

  40. 40
    Emma says:

    @22over7: That’s a lovely idea!

    And this? I was just imagining him as Randpaul Sackville-Baggins, and he needs curly hair. There’s a chance approaching certainty that you’re going to owe me a new monitor.

  41. 41
    Peregrinus says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Me three. I imagine if I were actually in that position I might find it harder to let go, but intellectually, I would prefer to go on my own terms.

  42. 42
    mir13 says:

    @donnah: They looked awfully small in comparison to her. Her stature has grown immeasurably over the last six years. Her stint as Senator, the underrated grace she showed in defeat, the good judgement to take Obama’s offer, and the competence it took to do the job, all exceedingly impressive. Should she choose to run in ’16, that’s pretty impressive cred she’ll be flashing.

    Of course I’ll have to grade her down for the lack of reality shows, endorsements, and facebook wisdom.

  43. 43
    22over7 says:


    Thanks. And sorry about that. It’ll clean up, probably.

  44. 44
    Original Lee says:

    I am asking a huge favor of BJers. The We the People petition site has changed the rules for White House response to petitions. You now need 100,000 signatures for a response and 150 signatures for the petition to even show up on the site. A new petition started by a friend really needs signatures.

    The short version of the story behind the petition was printed in the Miami Herald today. Bottom line, CMS has told the state of Virginia not to respond to FOIA requests about hospital patient dumping (or other kinds of patient safety) complaints. We think it’s directly in response to the discovery that the Virginia investigators prepared two reports in the Van Putten case, one of which exonerated the hospital in time to get approval for a bond issue to expand the facility.

    I have been talking to the Van Putten family off and on for the last two years, and I strongly suspect that someone fairly high up at CMS has a big financial interest in hushing up patient abuse at this particular hospital.

    If there are legitimate reasons for CMS to classify a whole category of documents that used to be public, I would love to know them.

    Please go over and sign the petition!

  45. 45
    SW says:

    “I would have fired you”

    “With all due respect, and I mean that quite literally, it is impossible to fire someone who would never under any circumstances work for you”

  46. 46
    Closeted epistemic (formerly Lojasmo) says:

    Rand paul is a whiney little fuck who will play as well in the republican primary as his whiney little fuck of a father.

  47. 47
    Steeplejack says:


    1. The mobile thing is a “feature” of the FYWP mobile add-in, a relatively minor bug.

    2. The thing about the “recent posts” is pure John Cole bad design. At the time of the last site rebuild, when someone pointed out and/or complained that the most recent post is not on the list, Cole raged back to the effect that “Of course it’s not on the list, because you’re reading that post right now!” [neck punch]

    I don’t know how Cole reads the blog (some say the bigger question is if he reads the blog), but there is a lot of merit to the idea that it would be helpful to have the newest post displayed at the top of the list.

    For example, I typically open each post in a new tab, and if I refresh the tab I’m currently reading it would be nice to be alerted that a new post has appeared. Especially useful on the night shift, when you can miss a new post because you’re not expecting any.

    I don’t know why it would be such an outrage to have the latest post on the list. Even if people are reading the blog in a “stupid,” non-Cole fashion, what’s the big deal?

  48. 48
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    I don’t disagree, but I thought it was a little tacky for my sister-in-law to have the discussion while sitting at my dying father’s bedside.

    (No, seriously. She actually did.)


    I bought bright little picture frames and put pics of my long loved and lost guys in them. Now I hang them on my Christmas tree every year, and spend a little time with them that way.

    What a great idea! Now I just need to get our current crew to let us put up a Christmas tree without dedicating their every waking moment to trying to knock it over …

  49. 49
    Steeplejack says:


    So sorry for your loss.

  50. 50
    Closeted epistemic (formerly Lojasmo) says:

    @Ted & Hellen:

    So, you are a fantasy rapist.

    Surprises me not a bit.

  51. 51
    Robin G. says:

    @Julia Grey: *makes note* Thanks!

  52. 52
    jon says:

    Worst tragedy since 9/11?! How the fuck can this guy be even remotely serious? Four Americans dead in a terrorist attack is the worst tragedy since 9/11? How about one helicopter filled with Special Forces? How about the Afghans who were supposedly on our side but decided to shoot up our troops? How about countless mass shootings on US soil? How about even a bridge collapse in Minnesota that was far more predictable even though Republicans and plenty of Democrats would rather not try to figure out which bridges will collapse next? How about countless bombings in Iraq and in Afghanistan, as well as in Pakistan and elsewhere that were the direct result of terrorism?

    Even sticking to the attacks that only hit Americans, Benghazi barely makes the top ten worst foreign attacks on Americans since 9/11. It was only a big deal if we continue to make it so. Remember and honor the dead, but not for cheap political points. Rand Paul is a phony, a fraud, a charlatan. He’s a snake oil salesman in search of a timeshare salesman’s job, but unqualified for either because he doesn’t even admit that his greed involves actual currency of any value. He’s the child of a cultleader, but he doesn’t even have Franklin Graham’s character. He’s a sham, a lesser species in search of a slugsuit to wear over his cockroach self. Kentucky should be ashamed to have him, but they’re too busy drooling onto their bloated selves, proud of their Commonwealth’s grand traditions of alcohol, gambling on horses, and fighting to keep other, darker-hued men from ever daring to rise above the wallowing stupidity of the misguided proud Confederate-loving Southern whiteman.

  53. 53
    Rathskeller says:

    @jon: outstanding, thanks

  54. 54
    Triassic Sands says:

    It must be galling for a person of Clinton’s accomplishments to have to sit there and listen to a moronic little shit like Paul spew nonsense.

    If he runs in 2016, he’ll have the same kind of success that all the other Republican losers have — he’ll flame out in the primaries or, if he wins the nomination, he’ll run an embarrassing campaign and lose the general election.

  55. 55
    Mack says:

    Mika was kind enough to have little Rand’s back this morning. Jesus.

  56. 56
    LAC says:

    @Ted & Hellen: What a pretty picture that is…

  57. 57
    BOB says:

    From the second paragraph on, I really had no idea what this “writer” was trying to convey. There’s going to be alot of frothing in the years to come as Hilary gets criticized more and more. I doubt she can even win the Democratic primaries.

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