Just Great

The Ravens beat the Pats, which puts me at 0-8 for the playoffs. Not who I thought would win, but who I wanted to win, and I chose the loser in everyone. Two weeks hearing about the fucking Harbowl and the Ray Lewis swan song and comparisons to the Bus in Detroit. Just kill me now.

Now I have to root for the Ravens, which makes me sick to my stomach, because as much as I hate them, I can not allow the 9er’s to have the same number of SB rings as the Steelers.

Maybe this time after the Ray Ray posse kills someone at a Super Bowl party they will find the white suit.

183 replies
  1. 1
    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason says:

    John — You can always take the advice from a couple of threads back and root for the meteor.

  2. 2
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    I suppose rooting for a meteor strike is right out?

    ETA: and BSOSW beats me to the punchline.

  3. 3
    Raven says:

    It all sucks.

  4. 4
    Joel says:

    Why can’t you root for the Niners? Not that I’m going to root for anyone, but I don’t see why a Steelers fan would find it any easier to pull for the Ravens. That would be like me rooting for the Jets in the Superbowl.

    Ok, you can stop laughing now.

  5. 5
    RobertDSC-iMac G5 says:

    One of my people is a Niners fan. I’ll be happy for her if they win. Otherwise, I don’t give a fuck.

    /bitter Pats fan

  6. 6
    weaselone says:

    Got it. So bet on the 9ers.

  7. 7
    Corner Stone says:

    This SuperBowl makes me feel like Dallas is playing V Dallas.

  8. 8
    DennisC says:

    I have come to the conclusion that I can become a millionaire by simply going to Vegas and betting every penny I have on the team I don’t want to win. Can’t remember the last time the team I was rooting for won a playoff game.

  9. 9
    Persia says:

    Yeah, I like the Ravens well enough most of the time but I cannot stand the thought of them sucking Ray Lewis’ dick for the next two weeks. I’ll probably end up boycotting the game. Even Beyonce!

  10. 10
    Mark S. says:

    Oh, c’mon Cole. Ray’s murdering days are over after this Super Bowl. Let the guy go out with a bang.

    So you’re going for the Ravens, eh? Might have to put a couple grand on the Niners.

  11. 11
    Joel says:

    The good news is that the Lakers are still fucking awful, and that Dwight Howard is still full of shit. But I think I’m the only person here who cares about pro basketball, so alas.

  12. 12
    FlyingToaster says:

    I had just put WarriorGirl to bed and came in to check on HerrDoktor; he was laughing disgustedly at “look, it’s the 2 minute warning and the Pats are down by 15”.

    I had joked at 5 that I was going to cheer for the comet.

    The pats-decorated baked goods at Stop&Shop are going to be ‘way discounted tomorrow; I suspect me and the girl will go buy cupcakes first thang, heh.

    Disclaimer: live in suburban Boston. Still root for Kansas City teams. HerrDoktor still roots for his hometown Miami Dolphins and the Chicago Cubs. Fuck the Krafts for supporting Romney.

  13. 13
    Baud says:

    Just say no to the two-team system. Everyone knows there’s no real difference between the Niners and the Ravens. Root for a third-party team.

  14. 14
    Debbie(Aussie) says:

    I know the 49’ers are from San Francisco, what about the Ravens? Is. SB pro or college(pardon my ignorance).

  15. 15
    Obliterati says:

    Hey, remember that time Ray Lewis helped murder two people? Man, that was crazy, huh? What a great player.

  16. 16
    Mark S. says:

    Oh, and can someone tell me why the Harbaughs are suck dicks? I haven’t been following the NFL a lot the past couple years and I don’t know a hell of lot about them.

  17. 17
    Raven says:

    I’m going with tamales for the party. . .and maybe dazzle the fans with the big redfish filets. . .blackened!

  18. 18
    Baud says:


    Ravens are from Baltimore. SB is pro.

  19. 19
    The Dangerman says:

    In the Musial/Weaver thread last night, some sage person predicted:

    …we will have the Harbaugh Super Bowl in a couple weeks? The Niners should abuse the Falcons and the HSB looks like destiny.

    Of course, that same person thought the first game wouldn’t be close and the second one would be a nailbiter. Still, someone that sage (and, I hear, good looking and a helluva nice guy) has to be commended.

  20. 20
    S. Holland says:

    Go niners!!!

  21. 21
    Raven says:

    @Mark S.: Jim was a fucking Michigan QB. Nothing else needs to be said.

  22. 22
  23. 23
    Kadzimiel says:

    This would never have happened if Obama hadn’t murdered the public option and then hidden the white suit….

    I wonder when Belichick is going to trade Brady for picks. That day’s got to be getting closer.

  24. 24
    Debbie(Aussie) says:

    thanks :)

  25. 25
    Mr Stagger Lee says:

    @Joel: I usually wait until the playoffs until I get excited, going with the OKC Thunder to win it. I am more of a college b-ball guy myself. Looks like hockey fans are in a forgiving mood, if one believes the ratings and attendance.

  26. 26
    sb says:

    @Joel: I care and I’m a Laker fan.

    And yeah… we in some trouble, though Howard should not have been thrown out; refs blew it big time.

  27. 27
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @Kadzimiel: Obama is WORSE THAN BUSH! HE SOLD US OUT!

  28. 28
    Raven says:

    @Mr Stagger Lee: Me too except that my Illini were setting the world on fire, beat Butler, Gonzaga and Ohio State before heading down the shitter in the last three games.

  29. 29
    The Dangerman says:


    The good news is that the Lakers are still fucking awful, and that Dwight Howard is still full of shit.

    It’s Bizarro World for LA basketball; the Clippers are playing out of their minds while the Lakers may not make the playoffs. They should probably dump Howard for whatever they can get for him (since he will racing for a ticket out of town when the season is done).

    The Lakers have some idiots running the show now and, hell, I’m not sure who the GM is of the Clippers (and the owner is a well known dick); yet, the Clippers second 5 are better than many teams starters. It’s really rather, well, bizarro.

  30. 30
    Schlemizel says:

    so just so I can decide which team I hate the most who are the murderers and rapists on the 9’ers? Serial spouse abusers? Gotta be a few of them, it is a football team after all.

  31. 31
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    Looks like hockey fans are in a forgiving mood, if one believes the ratings and attendance.

    Don’t mistake hunger for forgiveness. Fuck Gory Buttman and the NHL owners. But a good game of pro hockey is still a sight to see.

  32. 32
    Kadzimiel says:


    Let’s be reasonable here. At least The Harbaughosity didn’t happen under The Decider.

    Clearly, God is displeased with his people. We need to find an escapegoat and fast!

  33. 33
    The Dangerman says:



    After the abuse I took last night and earlier today, I would argue “well entitled douche”. YMMV.

  34. 34
    sb says:

    @Mark S.: With Jim, that’s easy. Hell, Dan Patrick calls him a friend and says Jim’s an “ass”. He’s pissed off more than a few coaches after wins (see Pete Carroll and the guy who is coaching the Lions, forgot his name). “Ungracious” is a good adjective and that’s probably being too nice.

    As for John, I honestly don’t know.

  35. 35
    Raven says:

    @The Dangerman: You are right.

  36. 36
    Corner Stone says:


    I wonder when Belichick is going to trade Brady for picks. That day’s got to be getting closer.

    Wouldn’t that be fucking awesome? If he stockpiled a couple 3rd round this year and a couple 4th round picks next year to trade for Brady?
    I would laugh and laugh and laugh.

  37. 37
    Kadzimiel says:


    I have heard rumors that Mallett actually is pretty darn good and has a deep ball that is impressive. Either way, I don’t see Brady ever being elite again. His timing has gone and his judgment looks shakier than I have ever seen it.

  38. 38
    arguingwithsignposts says:


    With Jim

    As for Jim


  39. 39
    The prophet Nostradumbass says:

    @arguingwithsignposts: Jim Harbaugh, as opposed to John.

  40. 40
    catclub says:

    @Joel: Hey, I care about Tim Duncan and hence the Spurs. So plenty of Lakers hate.

  41. 41
    sb says:

    @arguingwithsignposts: Fixed but not before my face turned red.

    Thanks for that heads up.

  42. 42
    rikyrah says:

    Well, I hate the Patriots…so I’m happy.


  43. 43
    drew42 says:

    The entire NFL playoffs this year has been just miserable. I may not even watch the Superbowl for the first time ever.

    Luckily, there’s NCAA basketball — and Syracuse is looking pretty damn good right now.

  44. 44
    ulee says:

    The Ravens shall have Poe black armbands and will defeat the fortyniners. It is a sign of the apocalypse. The Raven sits at all our windowsills, as the fortyniners deny ther mortaliy.

  45. 45
    Baud says:


    I liked the original. It had a certain philosophical “What is the true nature of a man” thing going on.

  46. 46
    Corner Stone says:

    Joe Flacco outplayed Tom Schaub. Wow.

  47. 47
    eastriver says:

    Fuck the Steelers. With a piece of rusty steel.


  48. 48
    Persia says:

    @Kadzimiel: When he didn’t call time out just before the half, I knew the whole game was fucked.

    IMO, he’s never been quite as good since the injury way back when and his age’s showing at this point.

  49. 49
    Mr Stagger Lee says:

    @arguingwithsignposts: I agree watching Blackhawks against the almost gone Phoenix Coyotes. Rumor has that Seattle is eyeing them as well as eyeing the Sacromento Kings to move.

  50. 50
    Green Caboose says:

    Let me guess, John Cole is a Yankee fan. I don’t care who’s playing, if one of the is the NY Wankers I’m rooting for the other team.

    Frankly, I love that the Pats got beaten – their fans have become as bad as Bankees fans in recent years. SF winning? Didn’t really care either way – I was rooting for SF, but only because I figured Atlanta would lose to the Pats as badly as Houston did. Now, I’ll enjoy a Super Bowl between two excellent teams who I don’t have a rooting interest for or against.

  51. 51
    sb says:

    @catclub: As both Kobe and Duncan head to the end of their careers, however slowly (both playing very well right now), who would be on their “era” starting five? By era, I mean direct peer. You can’t put LeBron on their team–Kobe and Tim have six years on him. Common age players only.

    F-Kevin Garnett
    C-Shaquille O’Neal
    G-Iverson? Kidd? Others?

    Depending on that other guard position, you’ve got a helluva team there.

    60’s era team:


    I think the first team would match up.

  52. 52
    sb says:

    @Baud: I needed that laugh. I’ve been typo city all night tonight. And I love the sports threads, so, yeah.

  53. 53
    Violet says:

    John, with your track record, seems like you should be pulling for the 49ers. Then they’ll lose.

  54. 54
    mainmati says:

    As a former Pittsburgher who’s heart is always in Squirrel Hill and Oakland but who lives in the DC area now I actually are going to root for the 49ers mainly because Joe Montana was from my near hood (and Dan Marino and Marc Bolger actually went to my totally non-sports oriented high school).

  55. 55
    Corner Stone says:

    Fucking Bro Bowl. I’m going to be watching History and H2 Channels for the next few weeks.

  56. 56
    J. Michael Neal says:

    Gophers are 24-0. They tied the longest unbeaten streak in NCAA history. Amanda Kessel has 201 points 60% of the way through her junior season and 71 this year. Hopefully she’s okay, because she didn’t come out of the dressing room for the third period yesterday, though I’m pretty sure the ding came in the first so it was probably more precautionary; Sam Downey’s leg injury looked a lot more serious.

    And I’m crabby because I’m having trouble with Chapter 9.

  57. 57
    Kadzimiel says:


    I basically agree with you, although I would say that Brady will comfortably beat roughly 75% of all the NFL teams for the next two years. What I don’t see happening is the other 25% fearing him in the playoffs as they used to. I think Gronk might have made some difference, but Brady looked hurried and rattled for most of the second half, which leads me to think that this loss is more about Brady’s accelerating decline than anything else. I do wonder whether Belichick has run out of magic as well. I got the distinct impression that Harbaugh outcoached him after the half-time break.

  58. 58
    The Dangerman says:


    I think the first team would match up.

    In a 7 game series, it’s Team 60’s in 5 games.

  59. 59
    eric says:

    with all due respect, a fan of a team with Big Ben does nto get to talk smack about ray lewis.

  60. 60
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    the almost gone Phoenix Coyotes

    Good riddance. Whoever decided to put a hockey team in the fucking desert deserves a brain exam.

  61. 61
    Kadzimiel says:

    The most cheering thing to emerge from the evening is the vision of Dan Shaughnessy having to explain why he got things so badly wrong.

  62. 62
    Corner Stone says:

    The Assassin. He murdered this game.

  63. 63
    Mr Stagger Lee says:

    @Corner Stone: They almost got rid of the Pro Bowl because nobody was willing to actually play the game. I think they need to get rid of that travesty.

  64. 64
    max says:

    The Ravens beat the Pats, which puts me at 0-8 for the playoffs.

    I think I wound up 7-1. Not that I care all that much.

    Now I have to root for the Ravens, which makes me sick to my stomach, because as much as I hate them, I can not allow the 9er’s to have the same number of SB rings as the Steelers.

    I don’t get the Raven hatred. Baltimore is a generally inoffensive city (ever been to Indianapolis, the center of the Dead Tire State?). And I’m from Dallas, and I can totally understand why people hate Jerry Jones, but I can’t really figure the hate on the Ravens thing. Whatever, it’s a goddamn game.

    Two weeks hearing about the fucking Harbowl and the Ray Lewis swan song and comparisons to the Bus in Detroit.

    If it had been Atlanta and New England, it would have been the same kind of puke-inducing hagiographic crap. The time between the two Finals games and the Superbowl is an excellent moment to watch hockey. Because you can’t grab [insert announcer’s/sportswriter’s name here] tongue, yank it down and staple it to their chin so they’ll just shut the fuck up already. Really, one team is a good team because they staggered their way to the Superbowl, and the other team is pretty good too for same reasons, and any other details will be settled during the game, which will be won by one team or the other. There’s nothing intelligent you can add to that, which hasn’t stopped people who talk sports for one second, but should have.

    [‘There are many rewards to cultivating a zen lack of attention to certain subjects, like the thing with the fake meth priest who dances Gangham-style at Notre Dame or whatever that was about exactly.’]

  65. 65
    Mark S. says:


    Heh, I watched that first Raven Super Bowl, so I can get thru this one. Dear God I hated that Raven team, with horrible QB and horrible analyst Trent Dilfer. But I will skip all the pre-Super Bowl hoopla. The last thing I need is more Trent Dilfer in my life.

  66. 66
    Lancelot Link says:

    San Francisco vs the drunken poet team. I’m happy.

  67. 67
    Mark S. says:


    I’d take the team from the 60’s in a heartbeat.

    Now a team from the 80’s, with Bird, Magic, and Jordan, that would be pretty awesome.

  68. 68
    Corner Stone says:

    @efgoldman: I hate reality TV but somehow I really love Pawn Stars.
    It’s so great. Their “expert” says it’s worth $5000 and the schmoo says that’s what he wants. Rick says, “Ahh, no. Not gonna happen. I’m thinking $2500.”

  69. 69
    Comrade Luke says:

    Phil Mickelson might go Galt, everyone!

    Because he got his, yanno.

  70. 70
    Corner Stone says:

    @Mr Stagger Lee: I, uh, agree?

  71. 71
    Kadzimiel says:


    Whaddaya mean you don’t find the prospect of Katie Couric and Manti Te’o communing to be a deeply spiritual and philosophically rewarding prospect?! What are you, some sort of anti-American?!

  72. 72
    PsiFighter37 says:

    @Comrade Luke: Who cares. Fuck Phil, I’ve never understood why golf fans liked him so much. He seems like an asshole.

  73. 73
    Kadzimiel says:


    I would tell Darrell Issa that I suspected black lesbian Communists had infiltrated it.

    It’s always worked for me so far.

  74. 74
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    Couric: How many girlfriends have you had, Manatee?
    Te’o: All of them, Katie.

  75. 75
  76. 76
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @The Dangerman: This. Wilt would make Shaq cry. In the first 5 minutes.

  77. 77
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Corner Stone: seriously? Sunday on history is Ancient Nostradamus Code. Watch nature shows instead. They show sexual congress sometimes on Animal Planet and Nat Geo Wild.

  78. 78
    Cermet says:

    Cole, you need to root for SF! Keep your losing streak perfect. Was hoping for the Falcons so we could avoid the ‘brother bowl’ but Ryan croaks – big surprise. Flaco dosen’t croak, or at least a receiver, a rather big surprise.

    Also, the hate of the Ravens make sense – they tend to beat every other major team and ruin other peoples stupid belief that ‘their’ team is so tough (LOL.) People, these are rich to extremely wealthy players working for billionaires that demand we pay a ransom or they’ll steal away in the night (Baltimore learned the hard way but didn’t learn well enough.) Amazing, after poor Cleveland got suckered, the NFL was determined to give them another team; that never happened for Baltimore; they had to steal … and put down a near cool billion to make someone rich at taxpayers expense.

  79. 79
    Kadzimiel says:


    “Well, Katie, there were the known knowns, the unknown unknowns, the seen seens and the unseen unseens…”

  80. 80
    Jon says:

    Well, all of us Pelosi-lovin’ San Francisco libruls will be pulling for THE NINERS!

    Now go watch Sybil and Matthew die on Downton.

  81. 81
    Corner Stone says:

    @Suffern ACE: I like conspiracy/mystic shit. And sometimes I can get my son to sit with me and watch things Morgan Freeman is narrating.

  82. 82
    Captain C says:

    Quick Atlanta stat: their combined score in the first half of their two games was 44-14. In the second half, they got outscored by a combined 42-10. I’m now wondering if Mike Smith actively makes bad adjustments on purpose at halftime. I’ve never seen a playoff team wilt so badly so consistently from first half to second half.

  83. 83
    Captain C says:

    @sb: I’d go with Kidd (or Nash) for the 2nd guard spot; you need someone to distribute the ball to those four scorers.

  84. 84
    Robin G. says:

    @Jon: DUDE.

    Mods, delete the spoilers! Please!

  85. 85
    Mark S. says:

    @Comrade Luke:

    Oh Christ, if Phil Mickelson is hurting for money he’s either got a gambling addiction or a coke addiction. He’s made millions blowing it in major tournaments.

    And golf is about the only sport where you can make money as a senior.

  86. 86
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    My favorite part of the game is when Brady ran into the ref. He’s so used to the officials helping the Patriots, he just assumed he was blocking for him.

  87. 87
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    God, this is awful. I shall root for the meteor. At least Downton Abbey was good. I still think we will find out that Mr. Bates actually killed his wife.

  88. 88
    Kadzimiel says:

    @Robin G.:

    You mean you didn’t know about the unfortunate incident with Ray Lewis and the elephant gun?

  89. 89
    Robin G. says:

    @Kadzimiel: So THAT’S what happened to Mrs. Bates!

  90. 90
    Captain C says:

    @efgoldman: I’ve always been amazed that Phoenix got a pro hockey team before it got its baseball team. Said baseball team is also the only Phoenix team to ever win a championship.

  91. 91
    Cacti says:

    My anybody but Tom Brady Bowl wish came true. I’ve got nothing against either of the teams that made it.

    I cheer for former Miami Hurricanes, but each has them, and Gore has more Sundays left than Ray Lewis or Ed Reed.

    So, I guess I’m pulling for Baltimore.

    Also too, what a bitch move Brady to try and spike Reed on that slide.

  92. 92
    Captain C says:

    @Mr Stagger Lee: Maybe they could make it a 7-on-7 flag football game. No one ever seems to want to tackle or hit (which makes sense; why ruin your career for an exhibition game?).

  93. 93
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Jon: Every Sunday you feel it is necessary to do this. Is being an asshole natural for you or do you practice?

  94. 94
    Cacti says:

    Also, also too, might I just mention that Bellycheat and Tom Lady are ringless since Spygate.

  95. 95
    Kadzimiel says:

    @Robin G.:

    I always thought Master Bates was kind of a jerk-off.

  96. 96
    Corner Stone says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: I’m still trying to figure out wtf “downton” is as opposed to “downtown”.
    Needless to say, people who bitch about spoilers are bitches. Or is it bitchers?

  97. 97
    FridayNext says:


    Funny. I just popped over to see what’s the what over at the Boston Globe and the second headline was about Suggs dissing the Patriots with that same line. They lose in the championship, their coach acts like a spoiled little child, and THAT’s their second most important story from the game.

  98. 98
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Corner Stone: Downton is the costume drama. Downtown is is a Petula Clark song. Does this help? And FWIW, I wasn’t bitching; I was calling Jon an asshole.

  99. 99
    Ben W says:

    @sb: I’d maybe swap Nowitzki in for KG although they’re very close. For the other G you need a point, I’d go with Nash. I’d also pick the current team over the 60s, mostly because no one on that team could stop Shaquille in his prime.

  100. 100
    Donut says:

    @RobertDSC-iMac G5:

    Packers fan, here. Father-in-law and Brother-in-law are from NoCal, and stoked as hell to see their Niners in the big game. Happy for them, even though the Niners shamed the Packers. Anyway, I want to see the team that knocked my team out win. In some weird way, it makes me feel better to know the best team beat ’em.

  101. 101
    Captain C says:

    Another interesting random stat: This will be the 10th Super Bowl in which neither team has yet lost a Super Bowl, but the first (unless I miscounted) in which both teams have also won at least one SB previously.

  102. 102
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Donut: I go the other way. I want to see the Ravens win. They have never done harm to Green Bay. I was rooting for the Pats simply because they lost very nicely to Green Bay in SB XXXI. Fandom is weird.

  103. 103
    JMG says:

    Dear John: That was an awesome pissed off sports fan post. I salute you!!

  104. 104
    The Dangerman says:

    @Ben W:

    …mostly because no one on that team could stop Shaquille in his prime.

    I saw Wilt with the Lakers; he was the strongest player of his time (and it wasn’t close) and he was probably stronger than Shaq in his prime. Basically, Wilt was Shaq 1.0, a pure stud (and later went on to prove it if his claims were true). Shaq would try one of his bull moves and Wilt wouldn’t have budged.

  105. 105
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @The Dangerman: What about Bill Russell?

    ETA: and I see efgoldman got there right before I did.

  106. 106
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    Is anyone else watching the PBS Abolitionists series? I think it is quite good.

  107. 107
    Narcissus says:

    “This week on Downton Abbey, the Dowager Countess gets her video-nasty on at the new pornographic-nickelodeon “for philanthropy”. Kramer discovers flagpole-sitting.”

  108. 108
    The Dangerman says:


    What about Bill Russell?

    Never saw him play, so hard to judge. As for his battles with Wilt, I think he got into Wilt’s head bigtime (and the Celtics were generally the better team). Wilt was the better athlete, Russell the smarter player; as for better basketball player overall, it’s Wilt, but it’s close.

    BTW, FWIW, the best basketball player I ever saw was Magic. Jordan was the better athlete, no doubt, but I’d take Magic in a heartbeat if I had to choose.

  109. 109
    catclub says:

    @efgoldman: I was just thinking about an intervening era, which could have Bird, Magic, Jordan,
    Kareem? and Pippen. (I don’t think Jordan was six years younger than Bird and Magic, but now that I start counting….and Kareem is a lot older than both Bird and Magic)

    I really know very little about these comparisons, so I won’t mind if you make fun of them.

    I was just surprised when those first four were not there.

  110. 110
    catclub says:

    @The Dangerman: “best basketball player I ever saw was Magic”

    I agree. I am far too young to know about that Oscar Robertson fellow,…but have heard things.

  111. 111
    JR says:

    Hey, whatever makes it more likely that Martin O’Malley will launch an exploratory committee.

  112. 112
    Lead pipe says:

    @Corner Stone: J
    I’m a lifelong Niner fan who is also not looking forward to the Harbaugh Bowl pre-game hoopla. Bad enough we’ve got two more weeks of the NFL glorifying an accomplice to murder. But the most insulting thing I’ve ever heard said about the Niners is:

    This SuperBowl makes me feel like Dallas is playing V Dallas

    How could you be so cruel?

  113. 113
    eemom says:

    Now I have to root for the Ravens, which makes me sick to my stomach, because as much as I hate them, I can not allow the 9er’s to have the same number of SB rings as the Steelers.

    Don’t take this the wrong way, but, imvho, there is something seriously wrong with you people.

  114. 114
    Cacti says:

    @Lead pipe:

    I’m a lifelong Niner fan who is also not looking forward to the Harbaugh Bowl pre-game hoopla. Bad enough we’ve got two more weeks of the NFL glorifying an accomplice to murder.

    So, how’s Crabtree’s sexual assault investigation going?

  115. 115
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @eemom: Don’t worry; they will still have fewer NFL championships than Green Bay.

    ETA: Perhaps that isn’t what you meant? One doesn’t know why.

  116. 116
    Ben W says:

    @The Dangerman: you make an interesting point: I’d assumed Russell would guard Shaq, and I don’t think he was strong enough to keep Shaq out of point blank range. I’ve seen a lot of Russell games and of course Shaq, but not enough Wilt. If Wilt really could stop Shaq on D, and have the strength to keep Shaq from pushing him far out of the paint, them I think those teams are really close.

  117. 117
    Lead pipe says:

    @Cacti: I think he’s talking to Rothliberg’s lawyer.

  118. 118
    Donut says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    That makes total sense to me, believe it or not.

    But I’m not gonna stop eatin’ urstas just cause you say oyster,

  119. 119
    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason says:


    Well, all of us Pelosi-lovin’ San Francisco libruls will be pulling for THE NINERS!

    Well, you’ve got a conflict, because Pelosi is a Baltimore girl. Born Nancy Patricia D’Alesandro, daughter of Tommy the Elder, Congressman and Mayor of Baltimore, brother of Tommy the Younger, also Mayor of Baltimore.

  120. 120
    Ben W says:

    @The Dangerman: I love Magic and the Showtime Lakers and would still pick Jordan. Luckily, since the exercise is to assemble a team from a given era, we can have both! For the 80s, those two plus Bird, Hakeem, and Barkley.

  121. 121
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Donut: GB needs to strengthen both its D and O lines and get a true running game. If Benson can do it, cool. If not, let’s get someone. Rodgers can’t take forever being hit like he has been. And Raji and Pickett need some help. Guys that big need to rest a bit; after them, GB’s D-line is average at best on a good day.

  122. 122
    👽 Martin says:

    @Comrade Luke:

    my tax rate’s 62, 63 percent.

    Yeah, that’s bullshit. But retirement is cool – plenty of other deserving guys out there to collect a $5 million paycheck for playing golf.

  123. 123
    Tom says:

    Harbowl — hasn’t New Orleans suffered enough ?

    (I admit I’m a Pats fan)

  124. 124
    salsify says:

    I am responding to Cole’s agony over the Raven’s win, I was hoping for a Pat’s win as well, as the dirty birds are a story line(Ray Lewis on camera) which is wearying. Pollard’s hit didn’t draw a penalty but that was nasty. Brady and company were hurt by injuries.

  125. 125
    different-church-lady says:

    I got paid to go to the AFC Championship game.

    Don’t hate.

  126. 126
    Omnes Omnibus says:


    Brady and company were hurt by injuries.

    Weak. Injuries happen to every team every year. They happened to Green Bay this year. They also happened to Green Bay the last time they won the Super Bowl. So they don’t work as an excuse.

  127. 127
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    Roll on the Puppy Bowl.

  128. 128
    Donut says:

    @Ben W:

    Ahhh, Hakeem, he who bested both Ewing and Shaq. He was as good/better than any center, ever, IMO. He was up against those guys, David Robinson; and a lot of other really talented big guys who couldn’t stop him. Hakeem was fukkin smooooth. When healthy he could put up 25+ or more a night.

  129. 129
    Captain C says:

    @👽 Martin: Even though I suck at it (I’m sure I could shoot a 68 at Augusta…in about 3 or 4 holes), I’d happily take 38% of $5 million to play golf for a year.

  130. 130
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    .@Comrade Luke: Perhaps Mickelson can get his accountant to deduct a million for every choke in the Ryder Cup.

  131. 131
    Jade Jordan says:


    You should really read the trial transcripts. Two thugs with outstanding drug dealer warrants from Ohio run to Atlanta. They see mink coat wearing drunk guys, hit one of them over the head with a champagne bottle cutting him to the scalp (yep, deadly force). The mink coat crew fight back and win.

    During the trial a member of the entourage named Carlos who was not charged was identified as the one with a knife that did the stabbing. Jurors find them not guilty.

    You are able to defend yourself. Criminal idiot Bill Campbell (jailbird ex Mayor) holds a press conference, says stupid stuff, without knowing what happened and the rest is history.

  132. 132
    Ben W says:

    @Donut: hell yeah. Sneaky best player of the 80s/90s: who won all the titles when MJ played baseball?

  133. 133
    Donut says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Rodgers practically willed the team to a substantial number of their wins this year, the defense was so pitiful. It’s not all players, IMO. I think the defensive coaching staff was stale and predictable, too. This year seems like such a waste, in a way. Rodgers had another amazing year, barely turned the ball over, totally dominant at times, but in the end this guy’s ability to close a game out was squandered, all because the D line sucked so bad.

  134. 134
    FridayNext says:

    @pseudonymous in nc:

    Puppy Bowl!!!

    I heard there will be hedgehog cheerleaders! Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  135. 135
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    Niners again, Cole. Suck on it.


  136. 136
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Donut: I am not sure I completely agree with you, but Caper did not make adjustments as quickly as one would like. I think personnel is a big factor; like I said above, I think the need to strengthen both lines. Still, it was a good season.

  137. 137
    Ben W says:

    @efgoldman: probably. My plan to stop Wilt would be: Shaq tries to push Wilt out of the paint; if and when Wilt gets by Shaq, rely on help from Duncan, the best interior defender since Russell. Also, let’s not sleep on Tim Duncan here, he was terrifying.

  138. 138
    Mnemosyne says:


    Since I fortuitously married a man with zero interest in football (or, really, any sports), the closest I get to the Big Game is the Puppy Bowl (with kitten halftime show!)

  139. 139
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    I wonder if Stabby Lewis will kill anyone on the field. Hope not.

    Best part of his Wiki profile is the last paragraph:

    Lewis is a Christian, and his commitment to his faith was featured in a Sports Illustrated cover story in 2006. He has six children by four women.

    That’s some kinda commitment to the Lawd right there, folks.

  140. 140
    Donut says:

    @Ben W:

    Exactly. All the hype went elsewhere and Hakeem stepped in and took over the league for two solid years. He was an all-around guy, too, could do a little of everything, and do all of it well. Not a lot of big giuys are as versatile.

  141. 141
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @Ben W: Quite possibly the most underappreciated winner of four championships there is, the Spurs.

  142. 142
    RobertDSC-iMac G5 says:

    I can live with that, but I’d prefer that the Ravens not win. The lady I know who’s a Niners fan has always been good to me. so if her team wins, I know she’ll be happy. And that’s fine by me.

    I have history with the Niners since Steve Young is my favorite all-time QB (ahead of my guy Brady), and I grew up during the Montana days.

    My boss is going to give me crap for the Pats losing, but he’s got room to talk. He’s a Cowboys fan, lol.

  143. 143
    FridayNext says:


    Pollard’s hit didn’t draw a penalty but that was


    Agreed it was nasty. At first I thought it was a mutual head butt, but watching the replay over and over, it looks like it was the running back who lowered his head into Pollard. Unless there is some presumption that hits like this is always the defenses fault, it was a good no call.

  144. 144
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @Donut: Hakeem also did it one year during Ramadan. Playing games while doing the sunrise to sunset fast – not an easy thing.

  145. 145
    Mnemosyne says:

    The Puppy Bowl is officially uncool — the New Yorker did a story about it.

  146. 146
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Mnemosyne: Oh fuck, that changes everything.

  147. 147
    Yutsano says:

    @Mnemosyne: I will, as always, be rooting for the Lab. Unless they have a Dobie puppeh this year.

  148. 148
    akaMom says:

    SF Giants/World Series
    Stanford/Rose Bowl
    SF ‘Niners/Super Bowl

    What’s not to like?

  149. 149
    handy says:

    Glad the Niners got in this year, but last year still feels like a kick to the gut.

  150. 150
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Yutsano: English Cocker Spaniels kick every other dog’s ass. Of course, I am sentimental and listening to Highway Patrolman by Springsteen, so my judgment might be compromised. Beau was the best dog ever.

  151. 151
    Ben W says:

    @arguingwithsignposts: it’s inexplicable: Duncan’s Spurs were so good, it seems like they should get more credit. I guess people bought the fundamentals = boring meme about Tim, but if you needed a 35/20 night from your star to win a playoff game, you had two choices in my lifetime: Shaq or Duncan.

  152. 152
    Alison says:

    @akaMom: California, represent :)

  153. 153
    handy says:

    @Ben W:

    If I needed a star to win a playoff game, I choose 90s era Michael Jordan. Every. Single. Time. And I’m saying this as a Laker fan who idolized Magic in my youth.

  154. 154


    SF Giants/World Series
    Stanford/Rose Bowl
    SF ‘Niners/Super Bowl

    What’s not to like?

    Other than that saying Giants instead of A’s, nothing :-)

  155. 155
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @handy: but you don’t need a star to win a playoff game, you need a team to win a series. Jordan wouldn’t have been Jordan without the rest of that team.

    ETA: when has a team with a single superstar (not a superstar and at least two stars) won the championship in recent years?

  156. 156
    tarylcabot says:

    Felt the same way John. Rooted for Houston because they had never been to the Super Bowl. Rooted (mildly) for the Falcons today because they had never won a Super Bowl. This will truly be a “hope they both lose” Super Bowl, though like you, i will mildly pull for the Ravens – in part to spoil the 49ers perfect record in the SB.

  157. 157
    Ben W says:

    @handy: agreed. In fact, earlier this thread I picked MJ over my love for Magic and Showtime.

  158. 158
    Amir Khalid says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    Have you seen the movie of the song, The Indian Runner? Interestingly, the writer and director was once engaged to Springsteen’s sister Pamela, an aspiring actress whom he met on the set of Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

  159. 159
    Suffern ACE says:

    @👽 Martin: one of his sponsors is a big 4 accounting firm. Perhaps he should do some tax planning.

  160. 160
    Radio One says:

    This year is pretty much the end of the road for Tom Brady and the Patriots. I don’t see them having a better year than this one anytime soon. I’ll root for the 49er’s in the Superbowl, because Bernard Pollard is still awful.

  161. 161
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Amir Khalid: No, I have not. The movie seems to be flush with good people. I will look for it.

  162. 162
    Librarian says:

    Actually, Jon, you don’t have to root for anybody. You can always, oh I don’t know, not watch the super bowl. Watch Downton Abbey instead.

  163. 163
    Amir Khalid says:

    A new work of music, composed by birds, has been premiered at an art gallery in Liverpool. It’s titled Bird Sheet Music. But that might not be the right spelling for the second word.

  164. 164
  165. 165
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    Any time I pick a team to win it’s almost a guarantee that they will end up losing, usually pretty badly. With that in mind and John not wanting the 49ers to win…

    I’m rooting for the Ravens. :p

  166. 166
    The Dangerman says:

    I get the Jordan love, but did he ever play the 5 when his Center went down? Oh, yeah, and that was in the Finals (clinching game if memory serves and, yes, I’m far too fucking lazy to look it up). A 6’9″ PG that could post up and won the MVP of the All-Star game … after he retired. MJ should thank Magic and Bird because, in the 70’s, the NBA was going into the toilet. Finals were on tape delay in that era until Magic came along.

    Jordan was the best 2 ever, but the most important player on the floor is the 1. Best ever? Magic.

  167. 167
    LurkyLoo2 says:

    Gold Diggers against the Angry Birds it’s going to be a great Super Bowl. Go NINERS!!!!

    I remember the first superbowl the 49ers won with the great catch from Montana to Clark. Woohoo

  168. 168
    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn says:

    And in other news, Studly Pantload (rumored to be an emotionally-unavailable unicorn) is still sore enough about the Broncos that he remains mad at football and doesn’t care who wins.

  169. 169
    FortyFuckingNiners says:

    John’s just pissed not only do the Niners have a chance of getting 6 rings, they’d also be undefeated doing so.

  170. 170
    FortyFuckingNiners says:


    I remember the first superbowl the 49ers won with the great catch from Montana to Clark. Woohoo

    That was actually the NFC Championship game against Dallas, but since that catch launched the Niner’s dynasty..it was just as good as winning the Superbowl. Superbowl XVI we won rather handily.

  171. 171
    Cassidy says:

    Maybe this time after the Ray Ray posse kills someone at a Super Bowl party they will find the white suit.

    Because we have standards dammit and only root for the super Bowl team that has a serial rapist as it’s quarterback.

    Did I get that right?

  172. 172
    Ron says:

    @Cassidy: “Serial Rapist”, eh? What the fuck is the color of the sky on your planet?

  173. 173
    Killjoy says:

    @sb: Pissing off Cheat Carroll is a plus, not a minus. Go Niners!

  174. 174
    Joy says:

    John – you and me both on the Harbowl and Lewis swan song. I can’t bear to watch it. They are the biggest whiners in football right now. I am rooting for the 9ers though. Baltimore and Ray Lewis have never been favorites of mine.

  175. 175
    befuggled says:

    @FortyFuckingNiners: Super Bowl XVI, the one after the Clark catch, was the game against the Bengals with the goal line stand that the 49ers won 26-21. You’re thinking of any of their non-Cincinnati Super Bowl wins.

    Not that anyone’s paying attention at this point.

  176. 176
    redshirt says:

    The Patriots were a different team before/after Talib went out. Wrote in notebook “Game over”.

    Trade Brady! He’s done! Blow it all up!

  177. 177
    Cassidy says:

    @Ron: You must be a Steelers fan as well.

  178. 178
    kindness says:

    Clearly John is going to go 0-9 in his picks because this year belongs to the 49ers.

  179. 179
    Gus says:

    It’s times like these when I’m glad I don’t give a shit about football.

  180. 180
    LurkyLoo2 says:


    Whoops, you are correct. Thank you :)

  181. 181
    different-church-lady says:


    Also, also too, might I just mention that Bellycheat and Tom Lady are ringless since Spygate.

    You might just mention that.

    One might also mention, however, that they have been to two Super Bowls since then, which is more than you can say about 30 other teams in the league, and they have been to three Conference championship games, which is also more than you can say about 30 other teams, and won two of those three, which is more than you can say about that 31st team.

    One also might mention that 27 other teams are ringless since spygate. Clearly the repercussions were deeper than anyone thought.

    One also might think that you were going for the easy taunt rather than some kind of insightful assessment of football talent.

  182. 182
    JWL says:

    “..I can not allow the 9er’s to have the same number of SB rings as the Steelers”.

    I understand, no hard feelings. It’s pretty much why David Tyree will always be an honored name in my house. As you well know, neither Terry Bradshaw or Joe Montana ever lost a Super Bowl.

  183. 183
    Kolohe says:

    I’d rather be a dude hanging out in a club with Ray Lewis in it than a woman hanging out in a club with Big Ben in it.

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