Oh, BTW

Everything I ever said about Lance Armstrong I would like to retract. I watched that interview last night, and the only thing I saw was a complete and total sociopath. Not one bit of remorse. I kept waiting for him to admit that he used to eat body parts with Jeffrey Dahmer. He said the words, but he just didn’t give a fuck. Now I know why the investigators never stopped when it came to him. He was infuriating and crazy.

In this uncertain world with everything changing so rapidly, it is refreshing that I can be counted on to be wrong about everything. Always.

BTW- the glasses in my hotel room are so small I am drinking vodka tonics out of the coffee pot. Indiana fucking blows.

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253 replies
  1. 1
    Roger Moore says:

    In this uncertain world with everything changing so rapidly, it is refreshing that I can be counted on to be wrong about everything. Always.

    Wrong again, Cole. You’re right that Lily is a good dog and Tunch isn’t as evil as everyone says he is. Also, too, I’m prepared to believe that Indiana fucking blows.

  2. 2
    Mike in NC says:

    Lance will ultimately end up as a GOP Congressman.

  3. 3
    Steeplejack (phone) says:

    You should have a red plastic cup in your “go bag.”

  4. 4
    johio says:

    Of course Indiana blows. It’s got Notre Dame in it.

  5. 5
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Roger Moore: I have had a good time in Indy once or twice.

  6. 6
    Roger Moore says:

    Also, too, don’t think you can get us with that fake paradox shit where you saying you’re always wrong is supposed to be confusing. We know that being wrong isn’t necessarily binary 100% right or 100% wrong, so you can be wrong about being wrong all the time by being right on rare occasions while still being mostly wrong.

  7. 7
    Cacti says:

    @johio:

    Of course Indiana blows. It’s got Notre Dame in it.

    And it kept Bobby Knight employed for 30 years.

  8. 8
    eemom says:

    I am drinking vodka tonics out of the coffee pot.

    This will end well.

    What you SHOULD have done, Cole, is posted this you-a culpa this morning. You know, while the blog was down and all of us were off having nervous breakdowns because you skipped town without paying the rent.

  9. 9
    Dr. Squid says:

    Drinking cocktails out of the coffee pot is so blindingly obvious, it’s genius. How did no one I know ever think about that?

  10. 10
    hitchhiker says:

    Hey, Lance. It’s not about the bike.

    It’s about the bullying. Fuck you.

  11. 11
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    BTW- the glasses in my hotel room are so small I am drinking vodka tonics out of the coffee pot. Indiana fucking blows.

    Why not just drink straight out of the bottle? Vestigial self-respect?

  12. 12
    Suffern ACE says:

    Yeah. You may have been wrong, but at least your imaginary girlfriend didn’t fake her death to escape from drug lords.

  13. 13
    Heliopause says:

    the only thing I saw was a complete and total sociopath…He said the words, but he just didn’t give a fuck.

    Your expectations are unreasonable, John. How do you think high achievers do things like this? Do you think anyone short of a self-absorbed asshole could possibly replicate his feat?

  14. 14
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    BTW- the glasses in my hotel room are so small I am drinking vodka tonics out of the coffee pot.

    Litlebritdiffrent was good enough to share thT with us earlier. Apparently you tweeted it. Don’t know if you also tweeted the part about Indiana blowing, but as a native of Illinois I can well believe it.

  15. 15
    eemom says:

    @Roger Moore:

    “Certainly not,” said the lamb. “In the first place, I cannot get into your pen, as I am not old enough to jump over the fence. In the second place, I am not interested in pigs. Pigs mean less than nothing to me.”

    “What do you mean, less than nothing?” replied Wilbur. “I don’t think there is any such thing as less than nothing? Nothing is absolutely the limit of nothingness. It’s the lowest you can go. It’s the end of the line. How can something be less than nothing? If there were something that was less than nothing, then nothing would not be nothing, it would be something – – even though it’s just a very little bit of something – – But if nothing is nothing, then nothing has nothing that is less than it is.”

  16. 16
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    Yeah. You may have been wrong, but at least your imaginary girlfriend didn’t fake her death to escape from drug lords.

    Yet.

  17. 17
    Anne Laurie says:

    Michiganders claim that Indiana exists solely to keep Detroit and Chicago from getting together and conquering Toronto. There’s also the label used by quite a few people native to Indiana: Upper Mississippi…

  18. 18
  19. 19
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: its hard to get the ice cubes in the bottle. And the lime slice.

  20. 20
    Roger Moore says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Why not just drink straight out of the bottle?

    Because the bottle contains straight liquor, and he wants a cocktail. It isn’t that hard, you know.

  21. 21
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Roger Moore:

    You just gave me a headache. I hope you’re happy.

  22. 22
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Roger Moore: Mouth mixing.

  23. 23
    xjmueller says:

    Hoosier daddy? Hoosier daddy?

    The taunt that drove Bobby Knight crazy at Northwestern.

  24. 24
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    Indiana is for people who think Ohio is too exciting.

  25. 25
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: a vodka tonic slam?

  26. 26
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @Suffern ACE: Bingo.

  27. 27
    dexwood says:

    Mike at 2 – that has the eerie quality of an accurate prediction.
    A friend, after watching the interview, called him the Ted Bundy of cycling. Made me laugh.

  28. 28
    ruemara says:

    @Mnemosyne: My boss of bosses loves that song. She likes to come in and sing it to me. In retaliation, I’ve been calling it, “Red Sippy Cup”.

  29. 29
    LTL-FTC says:

    it is refreshing that I can be counted on to be wrong about everything. Always.

    So in other words Indiana is great? :)

  30. 30
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    i totally called lance armstrong back when. no way it passed the smell test.

  31. 31
    amk says:

    Meet the next rethug prez candidate.

    Not you, cole, the coffee pot vodka drinker. Him

  32. 32
    General Stuck says:

    @Mike in NC:

    He may well do a jail term first. Uncle Sam ain’t happy at the Post Office for Lance’s expensive con.

  33. 33
    Roger Moore says:

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    You just gave me a headache. I hope you’re happy.

    It’s all Cole’s fault for the stuff about being always wrong. After all, if he’s always wrong, he must be wrong when he says he’s always wrong, so he must be right about something. That looks kind of like a paradox, but unlike the Epimenides Paradox (“This statement is a lie.”) you can rescue the situation by assuming that Cole is wrong about being always wrong because he’s right about something else, e.g. that Lily is a good doggie and Indiana blows.

  34. 34
    ulee says:

    Armstrong is insufferable. He comes across as someone who takes a dump in your kitchen and when confronted about it, finally admits it, but isn’t redfaced or embarrassed. He acknowledges his awful behavior but the shame just isn’t there. He loves himself. He is only admitting to it so we can get back to the business of loving him.

  35. 35
    Suffern ACE says:

    @Spaghetti Lee: yeah. But the times I’ve driven home to Wisconsin, I’ve always looked forward to Indiana. It isn’t as wide as Ohio. There is a lot to be said for its width.

  36. 36
    Ted & Hellen says:

    Yes. Lance Armstrong is a sociopath. Worst person in the world. In history, even.

    More newsworthy would be the total of bikers at his level who have NOT doped.

    I would so love it if by some awesome magic all the secrets of the posters and commenters on this blog would be revealed thru detailed links posted out of thin air. Oh how we would then see the warts and foibles and atrocities going on in our own lives, quivering in the dark JUST out of sight of our neighbors and the law.

    Never trust people who was self righteous over fallen celebrities. They’re distracting themselves from the bloody heads in their own basement refrigerators.

  37. 37
    kdaug says:

    the glasses in my hotel room are so small I am drinking vodka tonics out of the coffee pot.

    If the bathtub’s clean, see if you can get a straw.

  38. 38
    Ted & Hellen says:

    @ulee:

    Because most successful professional athletes are self effacing and not at all aggressive.

    Christ.

  39. 39
    Roger Moore says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Mouth mixing.

    Ugh. Reminds me of my young and foolish days when somebody convinced me to have a cement mixer (Irish cream and lime juice, mixed in the mouth). Not a pleasant experience, except for the attendant drunkenness.

  40. 40
    Svensker says:

    Got snowed in in Indianpolis once a long long time ago, before the days of plastic. Stuck in a dinky motel, the only thing in walking distance was a 7-11. Problem was, the only cash I had was a $100 bill and the d**khead behind the counter wouldn’t break it.

    I hated the motel, hated the clerk, hated the 7-11 and pretty much hated Indy.

  41. 41
    Cacti says:

    @Ted & Hellen:

    I would so love it if by some awesome magic all the secrets of the posters and commenters on this blog would be revealed thru detailed links posted out of thin air. Oh how we would then see the warts and foibles and atrocities going on in our own lives, quivering in the dark JUST out of sight of our neighbors and the law.

    There are plenty of cheats in the world.

    There’s a rather smaller number who try to relentlessly ruin anyone who spoke the truth about them.

  42. 42
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @kdaug:

    If the bathtub’s clean, see if you can get a straw.

    oh shit, now he’s gonna try to clean the bathtub.

    someone call the paramedics.

  43. 43
    Ted & Hellen says:

    @Heliopause:

    Your expectations are unreasonable, John. How do you think high achievers do things like this? Do you think anyone short of a self-absorbed asshole could possibly replicate his feat?

    Bingo.

    And he may be a very upstanding person in all other areas of his life.

    Competitors want to compete, and anything goes. This is news?

  44. 44
    Roger Moore says:

    @kdaug:

    If the bathtub’s clean, see if you can get a straw.

    A slightly less radical solution might involve the ice bucket.

  45. 45
    eemom says:

    If for no other reason, Indiana sucks because of that stupid word “hoosier.”

    I used to work with some people from Indiana. I HATE that stupid fucking word.

  46. 46
    Roger Moore says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    oh shit, now he’s gonna try to clean the bathtub.

    Do not provide that man with a mop.

  47. 47
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @eemom: but dean whatshisname did a great song about indiana.

  48. 48
    The Dangerman says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    someone call the paramedics

    Indiana has paramedics? For that matter, Indiana has phones?

  49. 49
    mellowjohn says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: no brown paper bag.

  50. 50
    SRW1 says:

    @hitchhiker:

    Hey, Lance. It’s not about the bike.

    It’s about the bullying. Fuck you.

    This. Armstrong had a lot of cheats among his contemporaries and I don’t see much of a reason to feel sympathy for any of them. What really grates, though, is Armstrong’s bullying. Takes a sociopath to do engage in what Armstrong did to Greg LeMond, Filippo Simeoni, and especially some of the ‘little people’ he had no compunction in trying to crush.

  51. 51
    Linnaeus says:

    I always had a good time at IU when I visited friends there.

  52. 52
    Dr. Squid says:

    @Heliopause:

    People are actually surprised he acted like Michael Jordan did to the rest of his world?

  53. 53
    eemom says:

    @Ted & Hellen:

    And he may be a very upstanding person in all other areas of his life.

    I don’t know why I try to reason with you when banging my head on the desk is so much simpler, but here goes again.

    A man who bullied, threatened and tried to destroy others to keep his own chickenshit ass from getting busted cannot also be a “very upstanding person in all other areas of his life.” It just doesn’t work that way.

  54. 54
    ulee says:

    @Ted & Hellen: Armstrong seems especially self-satisfied. To quote a Dylan line, “When he sees his reflection he’s fulfilled.”

  55. 55
    tystik says:

    I don’t know if this has been mentioned, what about Sheryl Crow?
    THAT would be the interview to get.
    And teh Google answers again.

  56. 56
    BGinCHI says:

    Insulting my home state will get you everywhere.

    Cole, please continue.

  57. 57
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    Indiana. It isn’t as wide as Ohio.

    Maybe the state can use that as its next promotional slogan. Back in the 1980s, they actually used “Wander Indiana” — you can imagine the jokes, and that was before “WTF Indiana” would’ve made sense to more than five percent of the population.

  58. 58
    Eric U. says:

    our troll actually is Lance Armstrong, whocoddanode? There is a video of Armstrong finishing a triathlon and totally ignoring his daughter who is trying to put a medal on him. Sociopath is probably too kind.

  59. 59
    dexwood says:

    @hitchhiker: @SRW1: Think of Watergate’s lesson. It’s about money and the cover up.

  60. 60
    Jason says:

    The problem is, in Cycling, everybody fucking does it. You have to do it to compete. Lance is being asked to be remorseful for something that everybody else is guilty of.

    And you’re surprised that’s he’s arrogant and a bit of an asshole? Most pro sports people are like that. Again, it’s the macho types that are driven to succeed.

  61. 61
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @tystik:

    I don’t know if this has been mentioned, what about Sheryl Crow?

    if you read the lyrics to ‘flesh and blood doping’, it looks like lance wrote it.

  62. 62
    Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin) says:

    Everything I ever said about Lance Armstrong I would like to retract

    I made my mind up when he dumped Cheryl Crow just after she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

    Sociopaths only commit to survival when it’s their balls infected with the plague.

  63. 63
    amk says:

    @kdaug: Why does he need a straw?

  64. 64
    Dr. Squid says:

    @eemom:

    Go to St. Louis, where “hoosier” is defined as someone who aspires to rise to the level of redneck. St. Louis is older than Indiana, so they’re amused when they hear their insult used that way.

  65. 65
    Cacti says:

    @Jason:

    The problem is, in Cycling, everybody fucking does it. You have to do it to compete. Lance is being asked to be remorseful for something that everybody else is guilty of.

    Actually, Lance is accused of forcing teammates on US Postal to get with the doping program or get fired.

  66. 66
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Roger Moore:

    You had me at “It’s all Cole’s fault.”

  67. 67
    E. says:

    Ted & Helen, you are making the same mistake Cole did when he voiced support for Armstrong. By that I mean you don’t know WTF you are talking about. Those of us who have followed Armstrong’s career and the scandal from its beginnings have mostly been awestruck by how vicious Armstrong has been, how ruthless he has been to his former teammates. I was just barely able to accept that there was a faint possibility the man was innocent all the way up to the point where I saw how he treated Tyler Hamilton. When I compared Hamilton’s confession — which was utterly devoid of guile — with Armstrong’s response, there was no longer a question that Armstrong was simply angry about the mounting “false” accusations. Armstrong is not your run-of-the mill cheater who tried to win bike races. The man is a contemptible solipsist, who does not apparently have a gracious or moral bone in his body. Hell of a bike racer, yes, but a total psychopath.

  68. 68
    Ted & Hellen says:

    @Jason:

    The problem is, in Cycling, everybody fucking does it. You have to do it to compete. Lance is being asked to be remorseful for something that everybody else is guilty of.
    And you’re surprised that’s he’s arrogant and a bit of an asshole? Most pro sports people are like that. Again, it’s the macho types that are driven to succeed.

    Hello.

  69. 69
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @amk: Snorkel.

  70. 70
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    oh shit, now he’s gonna try to clean the bathtub.

    Naked.

  71. 71
    Cacti says:

    @E.:

    Armstrong is not your run-of-the mill cheater who tried to win bike races. The man is a contemptible solipsist, who does not apparently have a gracious or moral bone in his body. Hell of a bike racer, yes, but a total psychopath.

    Unfortunately, few people will ever know that Greg LeMond was the greatest American cyclist of all time.

    He wasn’t enough of a self-aggrandizing arsehole.

  72. 72
    Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin) says:

    @E.:

    Hey, some our best athletes reach the pinnacle through competitive anger.

    It’s as it’s ever been…………

  73. 73
    scav says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    Indiana. It isn’t as wide as Ohio. There is a lot to be said for its width.

    After years of thinking there wasn’t an upside to Indiana, and it was there all the time.

  74. 74
    Tom M says:

    Those glasses are ( now ex-) governor size. All the Indiana hotels were required to have them.

  75. 75
    Calouste says:

    I’ll call it now: when the court cases start hitting the fan (like the one from the insurance company that had to pay out the $12 million in bonuses that Dopestrong got from his team for his last two Tour “victories”), we’ll find out that what Dopestrong has been doing for the last six months between stopping litigation and finally confessing, is that he has been hiding his assets so that there is hardly anything the courts can get from him. Then he’ll have himself declared bankrupt and after all the court cases are behind him, he’ll get the money back from the Virgin Islands or Abu Dhabi or wherever he parked it.

  76. 76
    Tom M says:

    Those glasses are ( now ex-) governor size. All the Indiana hotels were required to have them.

  77. 77
    Ted & Hellen says:

    Sheryl Crow = Eva Braun

    Discuss.

  78. 78
    amk says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: Heh, don’t give any ideas to cole, dood.

  79. 79
    General Stuck says:

    I joined this blog, probably out of acute mental illness at the time. And have stuck around in part, out of fascination, and the utility of having a weather vane on situations I am not at all certain about one way or another. With Mr. Cole that weather vane of twoof unfailingly leads me to correct conclusions for difficult questions. I’d be lost without it. Thank you sir.

  80. 80
    Edo says:

    Any word on Gex and Kate?

    Sorry for asking; I’m usually self-absorbed, and feeling this much sympathy for them has me really shaken up. I’m not sure if I should go back to church, or to 4chan.

  81. 81
    burnspbesq says:

    Sociopath? Nope.

    Armstrong is a professional who figured out what he needed to do in order to succeed in his chosen profession, and did it, without hesitation, self-doubt, or remorse.

    When everybody cheats, it’s a bit rich to reserve special opprobrium for the best cheater. The problem isn’t the players, it’s the game.

  82. 82
    Dr. Squid says:

    @Cacti:
    Many will tell you that Major Taylor was the greatest American cyclist ever. He did have the disadvantages of a) competing before there was a Tour de France, b) being a black man.

  83. 83
    Ted & Hellen says:

    @General Stuck:

    omg, Stuck. Stop taking yourself so seriously.

    You’re a gigantic, pontificating blowhard whose views are easily anticipated and entirely predictable.

    And you use lots and lots of words so I get that you’re very serious and deeply, profoundly in earnest. Like Andrew Sullivan, perhaps.

  84. 84
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @General Stuck:

    weather vane of twoof

    I want one of those.

  85. 85
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Ted & Hellen:

    GFY

  86. 86
    Keith G says:

    Soooo….Any alternative uses for 25 million yellow wrist bands?

  87. 87
    ulee says:

    @Ted & Hellen: “Have you no sense of decency,sir? At long last, have you no sense of decency?”

  88. 88
    Anne Laurie says:

    @burnspbesq:

    Sociopath? Nope.

    Armstrong is a professional who figured out what he needed to do in order to succeed in his chosen profession, and did it, without hesitation, self-doubt, or remorse.

    Hate to be the first to tell you this, Tax Lawyer Guy, but that’s pretty much the definition of sociopath you’re using.

  89. 89
    Lead pipe says:

    Thanks John,
    We just had to put our dog down. I was sitting here feeling shitty and your wit and humor made me forget for a few minutes. Thanks.

  90. 90
    Fester Addams says:

    I think I finally understand pro cycling. It’s a football match between teams of pharmacists where guys on bikes play the part of the ball.

  91. 91
    amk says:

    Didn’t maddow do a piece on trolls which bj’ers were extolling ? What happened guyz?

    And this troll isn’t even smart.

  92. 92

    @General Stuck: I simply cannot understand how the post office, which is in serious trouble financially, thought that it was a good idea to sponsor him to the tune of 30 fucking million dollars to compete in a race that no one gives a fucking shit about. What kind of fiscal irresponsibility is that?

  93. 93

    @Lead pipe: sorry for your loss Lead pipe.

  94. 94
    General Stuck says:

    LOL, this just struck me as par for the disconnect on Planet Wingnut.

  95. 95
    Laertes says:

    I spent fifteen years in Indiana, so I know whereof I speak when I say that it’s Satan’s armpit.

    If you grow up there, you don’t realize just how Indiana it is until you go someplace that isn’t Indiana. Then you’re like, “holy shit, I MUST TELL THE OTHERS.” And they won’t listen. Or they listen, but they cannot hear.

    And so they stay there, in Indiana, and make more little people that they raise in Indiana, and the cycle continues. It’s ciiiiiiiiiiiiiircle of fail.

  96. 96
    efgoldman says:

    I’m really hoping that the Armstrong story and the T’eo story collide and cancel each other out, and we don’t have to hear any more about them.

  97. 97
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    Dood, if you went out for vodka and tonic in the windswept heartland, odds are you passed a WalMart where a cheap glass tumbler was there to be purchased, along with snacks.

    Maybe you’ll get a replacement…

  98. 98

    @Lead pipe:

    I am so sorry to hear that. I hope that he lived a good life with you and that you cherish his memory.

  99. 99
    Ted & Hellen says:

    @amk:

    Maddow trolled her own audience with a piece on trolls.

    How awesome is that?

  100. 100
    Corner Stone says:

    @burnspbesq:

    When everybody cheats, it’s a bit rich to reserve special opprobrium for the best cheater.

    Says the professional tax lawyer for the rich.

  101. 101
    Kadzimiel says:

    I swear that if I hear Armstrong talk one more time about how he “understands” our desire to ask him about his sociopathic abuse and deception of the world, I will have to reconsider my view of Second Amendment remedies.

    And now we learn that being banned from elite sport is a “death penalty”. There are no limits to the man’s narcissism.

  102. 102
    Ramalama says:

    Armstrong is just further evidence of the collapse of journalism. Thus says this excellent writer:

    http://adrianmckinty.blogspot......alism.html

  103. 103
    Bobby Thomson says:

    At least he had the ball to finally come clean.

    h/t George Takei

  104. 104
    ulee says:

    @Lead pipe: Lead pipe. I’m so sorry you lost your dog. They are part of our families. I’ve had to do it. It is out of compassion that we do it. It’s because we love them so much.

  105. 105
    YellowJournalism says:

    @Cacti:

    Unfortunately, few people will ever know that Greg LeMond was the greatest American cyclist of all time.

    Yeah, and it’s too bad about that tiger attack during the Tour de Ferb.

  106. 106
    Corner Stone says:

    @Svensker:

    Problem was, the only cash I had was a $100 bill and the d**khead behind the counter wouldn’t break it.

    I hated the motel, hated the clerk, hated the 7-11 and pretty much hated Indy.

    Isn’t that kinda your fault for taking the $100 as payment in the first place?

  107. 107
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    And now for something completely different. Today would have been Danny Kaye’s 100th birthday. Listen to this and tell me if you’ve ever heard funnier scat.

  108. 108
    General Stuck says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    What kind of fiscal irresponsibility is that?

    Whatever the details of how this went down over the years, that fiscal irresponsibility, and huge infusion of PO cash, is probably the reason Armstrong was able to be so sophisticated to get away with it. A lot of people had to be involved, especially the logistics to dope during a race, not to mention intell on the testing regimes, and that is just the beginning. No one else had those kinds of resources to create such a long running lie, and get away with it.

  109. 109
    Corner Stone says:

    BTW, NatGeo is running an absolutely fucking brilliant piece on genetics and family/human history of migration and evolution.
    Just intoxicating. Like bathtub gin, one might say.

  110. 110
    efgoldman says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Says the professional tax lawyer for the rich.

    All these years, I thought that burnsie was a real lawyer.

  111. 111
    scav says:

    @efgoldman: random thought. 21st century gender-bending Shakespearean remake (3-D, of course, more if we can swing it.

    Rom’eo: Juliet! 0 Juliet! WTF rU Juliet?

  112. 112
    Kadzimiel says:

    @Bobby Thomson:

    And we do indeed know that when the interview is finally over Lancicles is going to take his ball and go home.

  113. 113
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Lead pipe:

    Oh, I am so sorry. That is tough. When you can please tell us about your dog — name, breed, age, good stories.

  114. 114
    Heliopause says:

    @Dr. Squid:

    The default position should be that all your sports “heroes” are assholes, I kind of don’t get how someone could reach middle age thinking otherwise.

  115. 115
    Corner Stone says:

    @Suffern ACE:

    There is a lot to be said for its width.

    This sounds really fucking dirty to me.

  116. 116
    Culture of Truth says:

    You are a funny man John Cole.

  117. 117
    Steeplejack says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    Yeah, couldn’t remember the exact phrase and was too lazy to Google it on my phone.

  118. 118
    Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin) says:

    @burnspbesq:

    I understand the dynamics of professional sports, and I agree, but only on that point.

  119. 119
    Kadzimiel says:

    @Heliopause:

    There are people who manage to believe that David Brooks is a public intellectual.

  120. 120
    Cacti says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    Hate to be the first to tell you this, Tax Lawyer Guy, but that’s pretty much the definition of sociopath you’re using.

    Burnsie’s a water-carrier for 1-percenter sociopaths.

    Small wonder he loves Lance Armstrong and vociferously defends the international sex-abuse organization otherwise known as the Roman Catholic Church.

  121. 121
    amk says:

    what’s the difference between cole and dopestrong ? cole’s mea culpa is genuine.

    That and drinking vodka from bathtub.

  122. 122
    Corner Stone says:

    Am I the only one who’s ever heard the stories about how Michael Jordan would break the will of people he played with? I mean, his teammates.
    People that compete at the highest of the highest levels just aren’t right in the head. IMO, by definition they can’t be. Even like Cal Ripken and his games played streak. What in his life was sacrificed for that record?

  123. 123

    I am drinking vodka tonics out of the coffee pot.

    I approve.

  124. 124
    Bobby Thomson says:

    @Mnemosyne: No, that’s what Lance uses while cycling.

    Don’t forget to tip your server.

  125. 125
    Cacti says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Am I the only one who’s ever heard the stories about how Michael Jordan would break the will of people he played with? I mean, his teammates

    Even that falls a bit short of threatening to run them out of Chicago for not taking PEDs.

  126. 126
    ulee says:

    Watch those vodka and tonics, Cole. Don’t get confused. Memorize the location of the ice machine. Do not enter the lobby if compelled by some ideal to confess something to the clerk. DO NOT try to enter a room that your key card just won’t seem to work on. DO NOT knock on a door and ask them if they miss their kitty cat. Keep it cool, be cool dude, be cool.

  127. 127
    Corner Stone says:

    Cole, didn’t you drive to Indiana? And you don’t have an emergency stash in your car?

  128. 128
    General Stuck says:

    @burnspbesq:

    When everybody cheats,

    Kinda doubt it. But suspect that is what Armstrong told himself late at night when the demons came out.

  129. 129
    WereBear says:

    Indiana fucking blows

    A-freaking-men.

    There’s a Thomas Wolfe novel in my last trip back to the Heartland.

  130. 130
    Corner Stone says:

    Indiana! Just fucking secede already you third rate hickville shithole!

  131. 131
    JWL says:

    Don’t be too hard on yourself about Armstrong, Cole. I stuck up for Barry Bonds even when my bullshit detector was ringing at 5 alarms.

  132. 132
    Corner Stone says:

    the glasses in my hotel room are so small I am drinking vodka tonics out of the coffee pot.

    Sounds like you need to call “the swinging gate”.

  133. 133
    A moocher says:

    @tystik: excuse me, but what about her?

  134. 134
    Corner Stone says:

    @Roger Moore: You keep going with this paradox bullshit and I’m going to need a ST:TNG time loop intervention.

  135. 135
    13th Generation says:

    In this uncertain world with everything changing so rapidly, it is refreshing that I can be counted on to be wrong about everything. Always.

    You mean like bringing the Angry Black Lady here?

  136. 136
    kdaug says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: Tell me that mops aren’t generally included in hotel rooms in Indiana.

    Please.

  137. 137
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    I simply cannot understand how the post office, which is in serious trouble financially, thought that it was a good idea to sponsor him to the tune of 30 fucking million dollars to compete in a race that no one gives a fucking shit about.

    Best I can understand it, doing so gave the Corner-Office Associates authorizing that thirty-mil the chance to rub elbows at cocktail parties with Very Significant Fellow MBAs. Sure, it screwed the people at the bottom of the post-office hierarchy — not to mention those of us buying stamps — but a dozen or two VSPs got signed photos & a real attention-getting line on their CVs, so… follow the cocktail weenies!

  138. 138
    Lojasmo says:

    Recently had a sleep study at the clinic and ended up drinking ale out of 2 ounce paper cups.

    Good times.

  139. 139
    Comrade Mary says:

    Shorter John Cole:

    This is just to say

    I now believe
    that EPO
    was in
    Lance Armstrong’s icebox

    Which
    he was probably
    saving
    for the next Tour

    Fuck him with a rusty pitchfork

  140. 140
    jharp says:

    I live in Indiana. And yes we have our shortcomings.

    And you should have seen the crazies at the Indianapolis Gun Show today. Was at the fairgrounds for other business and was astounded at the crowd.

    Nearly 1/2 mile line to get in. 3 to 4 abreast. Carrying a wide variety of carbines, AR 15’s, AK 47’s, police riot shotguns, etc etc etc.

    Yikes! Frightening.

  141. 141
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @kdaug:

    Tell me that mops aren’t generally included in hotel rooms in Indiana.
    Please.

    he will fashion a mop from coathangers, floor lamps and pillowcases just to get naked in front of emergency workers.

  142. 142
    ulee says:

    Breaking Away was a great movie. No doping. I’ll bet that kid could have beat Armstrong, clean.

  143. 143
    maye says:

    Mr. Cole, you just gave me a good chuckle.
    I’m an alcoholic, and I’ve never mixed a drink in a coffe pot.

  144. 144
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    fyi, i don’t condone rule-breaking but i don’t see a whole lot of difference between using performance enhancing drugs and, say, being put into a hundred thousand dollar tennis camp at an early age in anticipation of a hundred million dollar payoff at some point in the future.

    unfair advantages is unfair advantages.

  145. 145
    Raven says:

    Stupid boring ass sports with ridiculous fucking clothes. Never gave a shit, never will.

  146. 146
    Corner Stone says:

    @maye:

    I’m an alcoholic, and I’ve never mixed a drink in a coffe pot.

    May I suggest that you simply have never tried hard enough.
    No go forth and besmirch the good name of alcoholism no more.

  147. 147
    scav says:

    Oh yeah, the German priests are still traditionalists, small kids, presumably normal looking and no mention of rectories. German Priests Carried Out Sexual Abuse for Years
    Apparently expressing a closer relationship with Himmel is a lot more interesting in the original German. Served with a side of German Catholics getting their Irish up and withholding Medical Services to an ebil ebil daughter of Eve.

  148. 148
    cmorenc says:

    @Heliopause:

    How do you think high achievers do things like this? Do you think anyone short of a self-absorbed asshole could possibly replicate his feat?

    Most people who excel in high-intensity individual athletic sports are intensely self-absorbed as well as insanely competitive and driven, and that’s a combination of traits highly favorable to cultivating an intense asshole streak in their personality as well.

    Not all of them, however. Jack Nicklaus, in his prime, was as fiercely competitive in his drive for excellence as Tiger Woods or any athlete in any other sport ever was. Yet, I had the great fortune to accidentally stumble upon Nicklaus playing a casual private round of golf at Pinehurst #2 with the Chancellor and Dean of UNC and (I think) Vince Scully of CBS, with no one watching except their caddies, Jack’s son Jackie, and a half dozen casual spectators like myself who fortutously realized who was in the group and were, like me, following along and watching at a polite distance. No spectator ropes, no marshalls. What impressed me about Jack Nicklaus is that not only did he show no sign of irritation or resentment at our presence nor make any studied effort to pretend we didn’t exist, but he made a point every now and then of briefly engaging each of us with a friendly smile and eye contact, and made a few brief frindly quips directed personally at us, even though obviously most of his focus was on his group and game. This was in the fall of 1985 after the conclusion of the PGA tournament circuit, just a few months before he won his last major at the Masters in April 1986. For fourteen holes a gallery of no more than ten of us got to watch Nicklaus in a way few outsiders get to do before finally a hundred or so people came along to watch the group the last two holes. Nicklaus returned to Pinehurst a decade or so later when the US Senior Open was played there; the other big names would duck behind the marshalls to quickly exit the course, but Nicklaus gladly waded into the crowd of autograph seekers, and patiently signed hats and programs for at least forty people. I still have the autographed golf hat he signed that day. For all his greatness at his sport, what insiders say of him that he’s a true gentleman who’s retained his humility and humanity rings true, because I’ve witnessed up close twice how he deals with ordinary people.

    Now Tiger Woods, by contrast…ok, a bit unfair because I’ve never personally encountered him, all I know is what I’ve seen of him on TV and in print.

  149. 149
    Suffern ACE says:

    @ulee: yeah. But he lied to meet the girl. It’s common in sports. Or maybe its common in love.

  150. 150
    ulee says:

    @maye: maybe. No one knows what the future holds. Cole, right know, may be drinking vodka and tonic out of a coffee pot and declaring, ‘I do believe that’s a record.”

  151. 151
    WereBear says:

    @burnspbesq: Sociopath? Nope.
    Armstrong is a professional who figured out what he needed to do in order to succeed in his chosen profession, and did it, without hesitation, self-doubt, or remorse.

    As you describe it, the line between sociopath and careerist is pretty darn thin.

  152. 152
    JoyfulA says:

    @Anne Laurie: I was on a business trip to Indiana one time. It is really flat. I didn’t like Indianapolis; it didn’t seem to have a soul, didn’t seem to consist of anything in particular. I was mostly in Carmel, which I think is a northern suburb, though, so most of the city might be very nice.

    South Bend seemed like a nice town except for Notre Dame—too much green team decoration all over the place. Notre Dame itself looked like Villanova, only 4 x bigger. My traveling mate knew what I meant and agreed vigorously, leaving our local host confused.

    I did like Michigan City and Elkhart, solid and unpretentious. People made musical instruments and travel campers there.

    And then to Oshkosh!

  153. 153
    ulee says:

    @Suffern ACE: suffern. You’re right. He catfished the girl, but he didn’t dope.

  154. 154
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @ulee: “NO! I’m not glad to be alive. I’m glad I’m not dead! There’s a difference!”

  155. 155
    Ted & Hellen says:

    @WereBear:

    As you describe it, the line between sociopath and careerist is pretty darn thin.

    Bingo.

    Shades of gray, baby.

  156. 156
    marv says:

    Cole, my friend, once again you have nailed it. I have been to Indiana. But may I just also add that right next door is Illinois which produced Lincoln, and that his Second Inaugural is, to my way of thinking, America’s greatest speech, even more than Gettysburg, which I respect deeply. And o by the way, Obama’s Second Inaugural is coming up. I’m looking forward to it.

  157. 157
    Mr Stagger Lee says:

    @ulee: Sheryl Crow could’ve told you so.

  158. 158
    Ted & Hellen says:

    Wait a minute. Are we pretending that Cole has somehow gone down a scale?

    He went to Indiana from WEST VIRGINIA, people.

  159. 159
    Ted & Hellen says:

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    Sheryle Crow is worse than Eva Braun.

  160. 160
    ulee says:

    @Ted & Hellen: No one said that Armstrong is equivalent to Hitler. Just because people say they are disgusted and repelled by Armstrong doesn’t mean they are drawing a parallel. Either you are drawing a parallel and expanding on it, or you’re being irreverent, or you’re a jerk.

  161. 161
    Gravenstone says:

    @amk: He’s sort of the blog pet. Some people like to watch him go through his very limited bag of tricks. Of course, he’ll never earn that treat he tries so hard for.

  162. 162
    Carol M says:

    @Lead pipe:
    I wanted to de-lurk for once because we just put our cat down and I came to this site for the same reason I think you did, to be distracted and hopefully amused by a bunch of animal lovers. I hope over time the pain eases for you.

  163. 163
    eemom says:

    @Ted & Hellen:

    Look, WV at least has some historical claim to honor, in that it was formed in the first place because it wouldn’t go the way of the Virginia slaveowners.

    Never mind that the bugfuck stupid descendants of those people now fly Confederate flags.

  164. 164
    seaboogie says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: ted and hellen kind of reminds me of Otto in A Fish Called Wanda. Not sure if it is the armpit sniffing or yelling at the Brits for driving on the other side of the road…

  165. 165
    koalaholik says:

    @Roger Moore: That made my head hurt.

  166. 166
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @burnspbesq: After the Festina affair in 1998, Lance could have led an effort to clean up the sport. It was ripe for a high-profile move in that direction. He chose to throw in his lot with Ferrari.

    The truly sad thing is he was good enough, and driven enough, and had a strong enough team, that he maybe could have led the 1999 season without pharmaceutical help, and led the sport in the right direction. He chose not to do that, and thus we had the doping arms race that we had for the next 10 years.

  167. 167
    marv says:

    And may I add one last little note about Burns. I am older than him, but also went to Duke, and additionally took performance-enhancing drugs at a professional sports level (don’t get all excited, greenies really didn’t work), and what he wrote about athletes seems to me pretty much the plain and unvarnished truth.

  168. 168
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Cacti:

    Unfortunately, few people will ever know that Greg LeMond was the greatest American cyclist of all time.

    Sorry, but not even close. The greatest American cyclist of all time was Major Taylor. There is no second place.

  169. 169
    gris-grits says:

    Delurking after 10+ years of watching John’s transformation from W is the bestest president ever to Teri Schiavo to sex in the rectory and mixing drinks in the coffee pot to say, I love you, John. And most of you other people, too, although y’all scare the hell out of me.

  170. 170
    Origuy says:

    “Hoosier” comes from an old Cumberland, England dialect word meaning someone big and rough. A lot of people migrated from the Appalachians to Indiana and carried the Scot-Irish drived folkways. (Source: Albion’s Seed)

    Bloomington is nice, that’s where I grew up. There are parts of Indianapolis that are ok; Beech Grove on the northside isn’t bad. The outskirts, around 465, suck badly.

  171. 171
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @JoyfulA: woohoo! on to oshkosh!

  172. 172
    2liberal says:

    LINK

    Armstrong has a personal fortune of about $125 million. Why should he give a fuck? The doping created this fortune for him, but he won’t lose much of it when it was revealed he cheated.

  173. 173
    S. cerevisiae says:

    I haven’t done the coffee pot drink, I’m a beer guy so I have had a couple of adventures trying to open a microbrew in a motel room with no opener (now I keep an opener on the keyring).

  174. 174
  175. 175
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Laertes:

    My brother and sister-in-law have apparently developed a fantasy where my brother will retire early (he’s almost 50) and they will buy a little farm in Lafayette, Indiana.

    Have I mentioned that both of them have lived their entire adult lives in states without snow and have not experienced so much as one week of a Midwestern winter in at least 20 years? Yeah, that’s gonna end well.

  176. 176
    Gravenstone says:

    @13th Generation: Stalkers gotta stalk, eh bitch?

  177. 177
    mai naem says:

    The only thing I really knew about Armstrong till recently was that he treated Sheryl Crowe like shit and that he hung out with Dubya which for me pretty much made him a dickhead.I listened to a long interview on BBC with Tyler Hamilton. He made Armstrong look like a total a-hole.

  178. 178
    catclub says:

    @Gin & Tonic: The doping testing protocols specifically prohibited saving samples for later testing, when the testing technology might have caught up with doping technology. For this, I blame the sport and the WADA.
    Similarly for baseball’s testing protocols. Barry Bonds never failed any of those.

    Imagine if there was a promise of future testing of samples.
    Then instead of ‘the preponderance of evidence’ there would be unequivocal test results. For me, it is crazy.

  179. 179
    Maude says:

    @gris-grits:
    We scare ourselves. Comment for a time and you get used to it.

  180. 180
    dance around in your bones says:

    BTW-the glasses in my hotel room are so small I am drinking vodka tonics out of the coffee pot. Indiana fucking blows.

    Ok, this made me snort laughter out of my nasal passages. Cole, you kill me.

  181. 181
    YellowJournalism says:

    @S. cerevisiae: I had a friend in school who kept a box of cheap wine, the kind with the spout in it, next o her bed. Since we were all underage, we as her friends were impressed. Ingenious and classy at the same time! Miss that girl.

  182. 182
    Jhombi says:

    Hey John:
    For whatever small comfort it is, I just came across this quote a second before reading this post:

    “You’re going to change your mind a thousand times. That’s a good thing. Only imbeciles never change their minds.” ~ Anna Rascouët-Paz

    I’d only add “..Only imbeciles and sociopaths like Lance Armstrong“. Most insincere apology since Larry Craig.

    Yep, that’s about it.

  183. 183
    Lead pipe says:

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    Chester was a twelve year old Weimeraner. he was a wonderful, loving dog. I’d had five male weimeraners before him but Chester was unlike any of them. He had a unique personality that I wondered about until my daughter in law pointed out that he was gay. After her observation it made perfect sense. He will be sorely missed. Thanks for asking.

  184. 184
    Atlanta Redhead says:

    Lived in both Indiana and Ohio and Indiana is ten times better, although my Indiana experience was the “hilly” part around I.U.

    Speaking of my alma mater, if any of you get that way, there is a tiny little library in the center of campus that is called with rare and historic documents… and a large collection of occult books. I’ve flipped the psges of one of Shakespeare’s original folios, seen stacks of compositions by Francis Scott Key, peered at the scribbles in a Bear Bryant play book, and read the letyer George Washington wrote reluctantly accepting the presidency. (They have the original letter there for some reason.)

    I can’t defend the entire state, but I.U. is pretty great.

  185. 185
    dance around in your bones says:

    Ok, FYWP says I don’t have “permission” to edit my own comment….

    Basically, I care not a whit about Lance Armstrong and doping, etc, I always assumed they were ALL doing it. I think that’s a fair assumption.

  186. 186
    Atlanta Redhead says:

    Lived in both Indiana and Ohio and Indiana is ten times better, although my Indiana experience was the hilly part around I.U.

    Speaking of my alma mater, if any of you get that way, there is a tiny little library in the center of campus that is called with rare and historic documents… and a large collection of occult books. I’ve flipped the psges of one of Shakespeare’s original folios, seen stacks of compositions by Francis Scott Key, peered at the scribbles in a Bear Bryant play book, and read the letyer George Washington wrote reluctantly accepting the presidency. (They have the original letter there for some reason.)

    I can’t defend the entire state, but I.U. is pretty great.

  187. 187
    Citizen_X says:

    @burnspbesq:

    Armstrong is a professional who figured out what he needed to do in order to succeed in his chosen profession, and did it, without hesitation, self-doubt, or remorse.

    Oh, for fuck’s sake. So did Stalin.

  188. 188
    Atlanta Redhead says:

    Lived in both Indiana and Ohio and Indiana is ten times better, although my Indiana experience was the hilly part around I.U.

    Speaking of my alma mater, if any of you get that way, there is a tiny little library in the center of campus that is filled with rare and historic documents… and a large collection of occult books. I’ve flipped the pages of one of Shakespeare’s original folios, seen stacks of compositions by Francis Scott Key, peered at the scribbles in a Bear Bryant play book, and read the letter George Washington wrote reluctantly accepting the presidency. (They have the original letter there for some reason.)

    I can’t defend the entire state, but I.U. is pretty great.

  189. 189
    Corner Stone says:

    @Atlanta Redhead: Ok. We get it. Thanks.

  190. 190
    Corner Stone says:

    @13th Generation: Oh, come on. Every website eventually needs the services of a dedicated data entry clerk.

  191. 191
    Atlanta Redhead says:

    Omg. Kept getting errors. Now I know what you all mean when you say FYWP. Gawd my face is as red as my hair. Sorry!

  192. 192
    ulee says:

    @Atlanta Redhead: ..and then he put her on the railroad track….and then..a train started comin….

  193. 193
    Atlanta Redhead says:

    Where’s my coffee pot? [Hangs head in shame]

  194. 194
    Jebediah says:

    @Cacti:

    Unfortunately, few people will ever know that Greg LeMond was the greatest American cyclist of all time.

    I am perpetually bummed that we won’t know what he would have achieved had he not been shot. But he did do a funny appearance on Phineas and Ferb.

    ETA: And also if Hineault had not fucked with him the year that he had promised to support him in the Tour.

  195. 195
    COB says:

    Cause there’s a fatman, in the bathtub, with …. a straw?

  196. 196
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    I made my mind up when he dumped Cheryl Crow just after she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

    Sociopaths only commit to survival when it’s their balls infected with the plague.

    @Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin): Is that like when Sheryl Crow dumped Kevin Gilbert and the rest of the folks in her band who actually did the heavy lifting and wrote her breakthrough first album right before the Grammys, so she’d be the only one who got one?

    She was made for him. Two sociopaths whose blood runs at room temperature.

  197. 197
    Jebediah says:

    @Dr. Squid:
    I’d also call it a disadvantage having to literally run for his life after whupping a bunch of white guys.

  198. 198
    Steeplejack says:

    @Carol M:

    Sorry for your loss.

  199. 199
    ulee says:

    Sorry, Redhead, accidental triple posts are a drag. But how do we know you are really a redhead? Or that you are real or that you have “flipped” through one of Shakespeare’s original folios? This sounds suspect.

  200. 200
    Jebediah says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:
    No one gives a fucking shit about the Tour? That’s news to me.

  201. 201
    Roger Moore says:

    @catclub:
    I think there are some practical worries about the validity of tests on samples after prolonged storage. That’s an especially big worry for drugs like EPO, where you’re looking for a tiny difference between the natural and synthetic forms that might be altered by the storage conditions.

  202. 202
    Jebediah says:

    @General Stuck:
    A friend of mine was a domestic pro who finally got the chance to race in Europe. He came home after one season – which surprised the shit out of his parents, since being a Euro pro had been his dream. He told me he knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere unless he doped, and he didn’t want to do that. He has insisted ever since that everyone over there was doping. I’m gonna take his word for it, since he actually spent a year in the European peloton.

  203. 203
    Atlanta Redhead says:

    @ulee: The carpets match the drapes. The folios are at the Lily library in Bloomington. Back then, you gave your I.D. to the librarian and she placed the book on a cushion to protect its spine.

    More on the library here:

  204. 204
    Anne Laurie says:

    @jharp:

    And you should have seen the crazies at the Indianapolis Gun Show today. Was at the fairgrounds for other business and was astounded at the crowd.

    Nearly 1/2 mile line to get in. 3 to 4 abreast. Carrying a wide variety of carbines, AR 15′s, AK 47′s, police riot shotguns, etc etc etc.

    And to think people make fun of nerdcons. Okay, admittedly, the nerds’ lazer swords & photon blasters are… peacebonded.

  205. 205
    Atlanta Redhead says:

    Ok wouldn’t take my link. http://www.indiana.edu/~liblil.....tion.shtml

    Google shakespeare folio lily library.

  206. 206
    Corner Stone says:

    @Atlanta Redhead: Carpet is so retro.

  207. 207
    Jebediah says:

    @Lead pipe:
    It’s so so hard to say good bye. You have my fullest sympathy.

  208. 208
    Capri says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    The post office was trying to raise its profile Internationally, particularly in Europe, where the TDF is like a month-long Superbowl. Why they wanted to do this is not clear, but it was a valid marketing ploy.

  209. 209
    SFAW says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    The greatest American cyclist of all time was Major Taylor.

    True.

    But bringing him up is like mentioning Honus Wagner to someone who thinks Jose Reyes should already be in the MLB HoF.

  210. 210
    Amusing Alias says:

    Armstrong deserves everyone of his seven Tour de France wins. He was always competing on a level playing field. The officials, the fans, and especially the other competitors have known for a long time that he was using PEDs (various observations showed him and other top cyclist performing at super-human levels), but as long as all the riders were using PEDs, he did not have an unfair advantage.

    That said, Armstrong always has been an enormous asshole. Others whose offenses were as great or greater than his have gotten away unscathed. Bjarne Riis not only won the Tour de France while doping, but became a cycling team director and ran the doping programs for his teams for years. A couple of years ago he admitted all and promised not to do it again. All was forgiven.

    Armstrong offended too many people too publicly and often unnecessarily. He is deluding himself if he thinks his fame and athletic prowess forgives all.

    I’ve watched Tour for years, and I have to admit, I often rooted for Armstrong’s opponents. Not because I suspected Armstrong was doping, but because he was the biggest asshole in the peleton. He had the legs of champion, but the heart of a loser.

    One last observation: professional cycling is a dangerous sport. It’s a rare year that doesn’t see a cyclist die in competition or practice. Of the field that begins the Tour at the beginning of July, about 20% will end up in the hospital before the Tour ends three weeks later. Career ending injuries are common. Whatever else you say about Lance Armstrong, you can’t say he chose an easy way to do it.

  211. 211
    kindness says:

    Any Deadheads in the crowd? Furthur is doing a live broadcast from The Sweetwater (a little club that holds 300 people) in Mill Valley. They’re on set break now but it’s been sweet.

    Go to Furthur@the Sweetwater.

  212. 212
    catclub says:

    @Roger Moore: First of all, I would expect not much to happen while they are stored in liquid nitrogen.

    Second it sounds like a problem that could be dealt with after results are puzzling. Rather than pre-emptively giving up because it might happen.

    Third, it sounds like the least sensible reason for explicitly not even trying to save samples for later testing.

  213. 213
    ulee says:

    @Atlanta Redhead: Alright, your link is convincing, yet you claim you are a redhead. If you are a redhead, then you can persevere pain. Have you put your hand on a redhot stove and not winced? Can you prove your perseverence to pain? Scientific studies have shown that redheads are freaks of nature. Can you prove you are a freak of nature? Unless not, I find it hard to believe to have perused a Shakespeare folio.

  214. 214
    Cain says:

    WTF.. Indiana rocks.. well, Lafayette/West Lafayette rocks. They are an island of blue in the land of red. The kind of people who were born there is amazing. Check out:

  215. 215
    Atlanta Redhead says:

    @ulee: What is the matter with you?

  216. 216
    Capri says:

    @Mnemosyne: ooh, your brother will become my neighbor. It’s pretty country. It’s not the cold and snow so much as the wind. Winter can be a bitch. The autumns are great though,

  217. 217
    SFAW says:

    @Atlanta Redhead:
    Drunk/drugged out/asshole – pick one.

  218. 218
    Dexter's new approach says:

    I went to the Indy 500 a couple of times in my 20s. Eight drunk assholes in one hotel room was not as much fun as it sounds. Went to a bar there and the dumb fuckers had an air conditioner running on top of the bar to “cool” things down. The track is quite a sight in person, a Massive structure.

    FLying Burrito Burrito have a great song called “Indianapolis”.

  219. 219
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @SFAW: So I shouldn’t mention him?

    Most people have no idea how big cycle racing was at the turn of the 20th century. Since you mention Honus Wagner, his (and soon Ty Cobb’s) salary of $10,000/yr was considered sensational in 1908 or so. Major Taylor was earning $50,000/yr then. He may have been the most famous American athlete of that era, in any sport.

  220. 220

    It sucks to be stuck in Indianapolis.

    I’ll puke if that jukebox plays John Cougar one more time!

  221. 221
    Atlanta Redhead says:

    @SFAW: Thanks. All I was trying to say with my triple post was that there is a hidden treasure at I.U. that nerds like me think is pretty awesome and therefore Indiana is not a total waste.

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    Dexter's new approach says:

    Fuck, It’s the Bottle Rockets, not the Flying Burrito Brothers. @James E. Powell:

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    ulee says:

    @Atlanta Redhead: I’m just kidding around. I didn’t mean to upset or offend you.

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    SFAW says:

    @Gin & Tonic:

    So I shouldn’t mention him?

    No, I think it’s great that someone besides me knows who he was. (Yes, I’m sure there are plenty of you, etc. etc.) And he was a great, great cyclist.

    I just think mentioning him to this lot is similar to bringing up Garry Sobers (except for the Brits).

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    Felonius Monk says:

    @Cain: The kind of people who were born there is amazing

    As are those who went to school there, :)

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    SFAW says:

    @Atlanta Redhead:

    therefore Indiana is not a total waste.

    Well, you’re wrong about that part, but I got no quarrel with the rest of your comment.

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    ulee says:

    @Atlanta Redhead: I don’t think that Indiana is a total waste. I was just referring to a recent scientific report that redheads are genetically disposed to not feeling physical pain as opposed to the general population. No offense intended. Truly.

  228. 228
    Atlanta Redhead says:

    @ulee: I don’t know about the pain thing. I get migraines and have to suck it up a lot but can’t say if that’s any different from the non-redheaded population. I’d love to read that report. I always thought we were more sensitive. .. like if a drug has a really rare side effect, we’ll get it.

  229. 229
    Roger Moore says:

    @catclub:

    First of all, I would expect not much to happen while they are stored in liquid nitrogen.

    Except that freezing and thawing can denature proteins like EPO and cause them to behave differently in tests. This isn’t just a theoretical concern. The problem with drugs like EPO is that the difference between the natural and artificial form is tiny, basically a difference in the number of sugar molecules that are attached to the protein. There’s good reason to worry about some of the sugar molecules hydrolyzing off, which would make the natural form look like the artificial form.

    There’s also the question about how to go about doing the storage and testing. When do you do a new round of testing? Do you do it any time a new breakthrough test is developed or only when you have specific suspicion about an athlete having used a drug for which there’s now a test? How do you store the samples for later study, as a single large sample or as a set of aliquots? If you store a single large sample, you’re potentially subjecting it to repeated freeze/thaw cycles each time you retest, while storing as aliquots that are destroyed after thawing restricts the number of times you can retest.

    I don’t mean to suggest that banking samples for later testing is a bad idea. I just don’t think that it’s as easy as people make it sound. Before you try to convict people based on evidence from banked samples, you need to prove that your test works properly on banked samples, which isn’t a given. That means you need banked true positive samples to compare to, which may be difficult if you’re dealing with newly developed drugs that you didn’t even know about until recently.

    Shorter: analytical chemistry is damned hard, even when you aren’t dealing with people trying to fool your tests. There are no magic bullets.

  230. 230
    ulee says:

    @Atlanta Redhead: Atlanta. The study I read was that redheads are more able to sustain pain than the general population. I read a second study that confirmed that. I have no affirmations, just things I read in the newspapers. Sometimes pain is a subjective thing, whether it is emotional or phyisical. Perhaps this is a prejudice, like that the Irish drink more and can sustain more drink than the general population. I don’t know. It’s just a comment I made and was not intended to insult you in anyway.

  231. 231
    mouse tolliver says:

    @Forum Transmitted Disease: Wow. I started disliking Sheryl Crow for usurping k.d. lang on Tomorrow Never Dies, but this is really too much. Armstrong is still a jerk for dumping her after she got cancer. But now I’m glad she’s a has-been.

  232. 232
    Arclite says:

    @Dr. Squid:

    Drinking cocktails out of the coffee pot is so blindingly obvious, it’s genius. How did no one I know ever think about that?

    They weren’t desperate enough.

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    jp says:

    @Calouste: I would say that is a good call.

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    Another Halocene Human says:

    @Omnes Omnibus: The Indianapolis Museum of Art is a must-see.

    It’s free.

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    HeartlandLiberal says:

    @Atlanta Redhead: Thanks. Having lived in Bloomington for 28 years, and worked at IU for 25, I can only say that life in this part of Indiana is really good. A world class university, with people from cultures all over the world, nestled in rolling hill country of southwestern Indiana. An easy hours drive from an airport if you want to go see the rest of the world. But honestly, coming back home to Bloomington is often the best part of the trip.

    P.S. I assume I missed an earlier post, by why is Cole in Indiana? Where? If in Bloomington, I could arrange a tour for him.

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    Lojasmo says:

    @Ted & Hellen:

    The appologist for a child-rapist doesn’t have much credibility.

    Haven’t you received the memo?

  237. 237
    Lojasmo says:

    @burnspbesq:

    When everybody cheats, it’s a bit rich to reserve special opprobrium for the best cheater. The problem isn’t the players, it’s the game

    but everybody doesn’t cheat, asshole. armstrong went out of his way to destroy teammates who refused to go along.

  238. 238
    MosesZD says:

    @Heliopause:

    Funny thing is, I actually don’t care that he cheated. At that point it was clear most, if not all, the top riders were cheating.

    Look at the 2005 Tour de France Top-5. Four of them were dopers and couldn’t ride in the 2006 because they caught before the Tour de France.

    Landis, who’d finished 9th in the 200 5TdF, gets caught in 2006 after winning it…

    Wikipedia has a great article on doping in the Tour de France: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D....._de_France

    There are more dopers in the Top-10 than clean riders, by quite a large margin.

    So, yeah, Armstrong did what he did. Bonds did what he did. But in sports corrupted by doping, doping pretty much just makes you even with the rest of the cheats.

  239. 239
    MosesZD says:

    @Lojasmo:

    You know what, they were going after him, he the right to fight back. He didn’t do anything they didn’t do on or off the field. If anything, they were more than happy to throw him under the bus for plea bargains, fame and potential book deals.

  240. 240
    MosesZD says:

    @Lojasmo:

    You know what ASSHOLE, they were going after him, he the right to fight back. He didn’t do anything they didn’t do on or off the field. If anything, they were more than happy to throw him under the bus for plea bargains, fame and potential book deals.

  241. 241
    Chyron HR says:

    @MosesZD:

    Funny how a few months ago you guys were insisting that Armstrong was completely innocent. But suddenly it’s “everybody does it, leave Lance ALOOOOONE!”

  242. 242
    danielx says:

    Excellent question; what misfortune caused Cole to end up here? Especially since the temperature is going to fall through the basement floor tomorrow….

  243. 243
    cmm says:

    I wouldn’t make coffee with aa motel room coffeepot let alone drink from it. Heard too many stories from DEA guys. of improvised meth labs in hotel rooms. I imagine it is even more of a risk in Indiana.

  244. 244
    Cheryl from Maryland says:

    It’s too easy to say that everyone doped in cycling — Armstrong was part of a doping organization. How many of us with no training could insert an IV some where were the injection marks couldn’t be seen; draw blood, know how long to keep it fresh, transport it around, calculate drug dosages? This was a big operation with Armstrong as one of the ringleaders for his team.

    He bullied the team into using PEDs, deprived his teammates of better equipment to pay for the drugs, threw his team mates under the bus when they were either caught or confessed or just wanted to leave to move up on a cycling team, lied and trashed the characters of Ms. O’Reilly and the Andreus when they had evidence of his use of PEDs. He’s a sociopathic scum bag.

    And not only is cycling deeply hurt, there are serious issues with PED testing, and now those will not be addressed. The labs in Europe keep no records, have no quality control (apparently any one who wanted to could take the blood bags out of the freezer), no records of the freezer temperatures, no standards between labs (you could be guilty if one lab tested you and innocent at another), old and shitty equipment, bad protocol (Floyd Landis’ sample was run 25 times and the results “synthesized” ). I know the guys doped, but not always in the way the labs found them out.

    The innocent in cycling are now punished with the guilty. I loved watching Le Tour, but I can’t anymore.

  245. 245
    SFAW says:

    @Cheryl from Maryland:

    and trashed the characters of Ms. O’Reilly and the Andreus when they had evidence of his use of PEDs.

    Yesterday, I heard a BBC interview of a Brit sports writer (I don’t recall his name) who had been covering the whole Armstrong-doping thing for awhile. At some point, possibly early on, the writer’s 12-year-old son died as the result of a bike accident. Saint Lance apparently spent a bit of time telling people that the reason the writer was all over the Lance/doping thing was because it was “revenge” or some such for the loss of his son.

    Before I heard that interview, I was in the yeah-he-doped-but-so-did-most/all-of-them crowd. Call it semi-blissful (or semi-willful) ignorance on my part. After hearing that story … well, if Lance were to end up broke and in Debtor’s Prison, I wouldn’t be upset.

  246. 246
    jp7505a says:

    I guess I fall into the same category as many others – to compete at that level you had to dope. If he hadn’t he probvably wouldn’t have finished one Tour let alone win 7.

    On the other hand the rest of his behavor is what sets him apart. Given all the years of lies, would it be excessive cynical to wonder if the cancer story is true?

    I doubt that the apology tour is sincere; its just damage control so he can make money in other sporting events.

    With luck once the Oprah interviews are done he will slip into the same forgotten dust bin of history as hula hoops and pet rocks!!!

  247. 247
    Argon says:

    He’s the Mitt Romney of sports.

  248. 248
    Paul in KY says:

    @xjmueller: At UK, we just went with ‘Fuck You Bobby’.

    Direct & to the point.

  249. 249
    vheidi says:

    @SFAW: I heard that too- what a collosal dick Armstrong is.

  250. 250
    Ruckus says:

    @Keith G:
    I cut mine off and threw it away. Out with the trash.

    Having worked inside professional sports for some time I will have to say that not all athletes are assholes. Many, maybe even most, but not all, not by a long shot. Maybe it was the sport I worked in, that has a high level of danger, which kinda keeps assholelyness in check. Even the biggest asshole has a hard time keeping it together when watching someone die, doing the same thing they do every day.

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  252. 252
    West of the Rockies says:

    Lance said those words. He said and said and said them… He said them, but he lied them. Can’t remember now which children’s books those words (sort of) come from, but they struck me as appropriate here. Count me among those who thought Lance has been lying for years now. And yet I still know someone who thinks Lance did none of the the things he just admitted doing because he (Lance) wants to become a marathon runner and had to “confess” in order to be allowed to compete in events sanctioned by the Track and Field Federation (or some such agency). Of course, this guy also things that GWB was a great president.

  253. 253
    Bill Arnold says:

    @jharp:

    Nearly 1/2 mile line to get in. 3 to 4 abreast.

    Are there pictures or video of this available?

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