The Only Words I Know You’ll Understand

Michele Bachmann isn’t having a very good year. She hasn’t paid some of her Iowa staff, and they are pissed and talking to the media, accusing her of stealing a list of parents of homeschooled children. As DougJ noted the other day, they’re dishing dirt about Michele’s relationship with her debate coach and her separate bedrooms relationship with Marcus.

Now her former field director filed charges with the FEC, alleging that she paid campaign consultants with PAC money, and paid some of her Congressional staffers who were “volunteering” on her campaign. It’s not as interesting as the Marcus stuff, but goddam do I love finding pictures of this couple, so here you go.

76 replies
  1. 1
    Napoleon says:

    That would be awesome if she gets charged with a felony.

  2. 2
    Narcissus says:

    Man the look on that dudes face just screams “eww, girl-germs”.

  3. 3
    Ash Can says:

    Michele Bachmann doing creepy/shady/stupid shit? Stop the fucking presses.

  4. 4
    amk says:

    one grifter after another. gop is full of them.

  5. 5
    double nickel says:

    More than a few skeletons in their closets, I imagine.

  6. 6

    @double nickel:

    More skeletons in their closest than Jeffrey Dahmer…

  7. 7
    jayboat says:


    That would be awesome if she gets charged with a felony.

    We can dream.

    Popcorn futures thru the roof.

    eta: TPM says Franken ‘undecided’ on assault weapons legislation- wtf?

  8. 8
    JPL says:

    Give Michelle a break. Do you think she has time to pay the bills while protecting us from the fascist, socialist in office? Her procreation days are probably over and like a good evangelical, that’s the purpose of sex. Also, too she needs her beauty sleep.

  9. 9
    Cassidy says:

    @jayboat: Maybe he wants more.

  10. 10
    Yutsano says:

    Three words: Target. Rich. Environment.

  11. 11
    MomSense says:


    He represents Minnesota. They have lots of gun owners.

  12. 12
    MattF says:

    The voters in Bachmann’s district are getting what they voted for. I’m hoping that they continue to get it, but harder.

  13. 13
    Punchy says:

    Is she excessively short, or is he 6’10”? He’s a large man. I bet he tells other men this, too.

  14. 14
    debbie says:

    Do you think she has time to pay the bills while protecting us from the fascist, socialist in office?

    Having just listened to the Whole Foods CEO (Bill Mackie?) being interviewed on NPR and saying that Obamacare was both socialist and fascist, I think maybe Michelle maybe aspires to real elitism.

  15. 15
    Cluttered Mind says:

    @MomSense: Agreed. Franken can’t do the country any good if he’s voted out of office, and he has to take his constituency into account. I trust him to figure out the best way through this.

  16. 16
    Kropadope says:

    At least the skeletons in the closet have compancy…

  17. 17
    Wag says:

    @Cluttered Mind:

    Here’s Frankin’s work around on the gun issue. Gun owners in MN are primarially deer hunters. No one needs a 50 round clip to take out a deer from their deer stand in the woods.

    No one.

  18. 18
    Feudalism Now! says:

    Franken is saying he is undecided. He will get to pose many pro-gun user questions, but will ultimately vote for legislation for the greater good. Meanwhile, lots of op-eds will be written to convince Senator Franken to put the well regulated back into the 2nd amendment. Structure not stricture.

  19. 19
  20. 20
    Gex says:

    These two slep in different beds. The Minnesota Republicans lost the amendment and the legislature. Yet they are gearing up to fight marriage equality in Minnesota. How’s about people worry about their own relationships and not others’?

    They lost. Now they need to get the fuck out of the way. Not.In.The.Mood.

  21. 21
    Wag says:


    I think she’s around 5′ 1″

  22. 22
    Cassidy says:

    @Gex: How are you doing?

  23. 23
    mistermix says:

    @Punchy: He’s got big hands, too — “Big hands I know you’re the one”.

  24. 24
    Ash Can says:

    @Gex: We’re all rooting for you here, Gex.

  25. 25
    Zam says:

    On a Marcus related note my conservative Christian friend is crying about how persecuted Christians are because they aren’t allowed to be dicks bout the gays at work

  26. 26
    jibeaux says:

    I’m sorry, that man is simply not heterosexual.

  27. 27
    Or something like that.Suffern Ace says:

    @Zam: ooh. Has he reached into the victim hood fridge for a piece of “and those homos are always purposely insulting straight people” cheese?

  28. 28
    Yutsano says:


    NPR and saying that Obamacare was both socialist and fascist

    New Rule: if you cannot define those two terms, you cannot use them. And if you do use them, you have earned the privilege of being mocked mercilessly.

    @Gex: We could get you a little Marcus doll that you could beat the ever-living snot out of just for fun.

  29. 29
    piratedan says:

    Michelle is a prime example of one of those barroom questionnaires…. how desperate a dude do you have to be to wanna tap that crazy ass bitch. For some guys, there is no line that can’t be crossed.

  30. 30
    LAC says:

    I can smell the gay off of that picture.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that…. :)

  31. 31
    hells littlest angel says:

    @Punchy: He’s sitting on her lap.

  32. 32
    Gex says:

    Thanks for asking about us guys.

    She was extubated last night around 9 PM. Since then she’s been pretty stable. Given all she’s been through to this point, I think most of the medical staff thought she’d go fast. But her BP is still strong, her pulse ox is good, core temp is normalizing, and breathing seems smoother if not normal.

    There’s no recovery from this. As much as my emotional mind is wondering why we don’t reinstate the antibiotics, the truth is we wouldn’t want her to awake to deal with the pain and misery of her current situation, then have to deal with a liver cancer that has been raging untreated all this time.

    It’s like we’re a living example of public policy failures. Can’t get married. Can pull the tubes, but can’t assist either. We just have to keep using up medical resources in a hospital short on beds and nurses. And at some point the hospital and medical insurance wash their hands of you and you need to pay for hospice, which runs hundreds of dollars per day. How am I supposed to afford that? And I’m solidly middle class with no kids.

    It wasn’t hard to decide to extubate. It was hard to have to pick the time and say, “Do it now.” I wish that could have been the end instead of sitting here and watching her die over hours, maybe days.

    So right now, it’s pretty much the same on day 15 at the hospital.

  33. 33
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    More than a few skeletons in their closets, I imagine.

    @double nickel: Nah. I think his closet is very neat and organized. No skeletons.

    Just a fucking huge deadbolt on the door.

  34. 34
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Gex: Been in this position with a close uncle and with my mother over the last few years. It’s hard, and nothing anyone says or does will help, unfortunately. But what struck me through both of those processes is that I can be more merciful with my dog than with my mother. That’s just …. wrong.

  35. 35
    Gex says:

    @Gin & Tonic: the mother child relationship is so damn complicated.

  36. 36
    emma says:

    @Gex: I think I’m not being presumptuous when I say we’re all thinking of you. Please hang in there.

  37. 37
    Villago Delenda Est says:


    That’s the thing with these “conservative” “Christians”. Unless they can oppress others, they’re being oppressed. The old Massachusetts colony rules are applicable here. They fled “oppression” because they were not the ones inflicting it…they needed a new place to oppress others.

  38. 38
    piratedan says:

    @Gex: not all hospice organizations require payment, depending upon age (i.e. if you’re older and qualified for Medicare or Medicaid) many hospice services are covered under existing medical insurance policies or handled via the Feds if the recipient is already under either of the Medi twins (Care or Caid). Usually the hospital itself can help in this instance find a match for you.

  39. 39
    Cassidy says:

    @Gex: Hopefully I don’t sound cliche, but keep your head up. You did good things. Everyone should have someone with them at the end.

    ETA: Two things and hopefully not gruesome. Insurance will generally cover Hospice at 100% if you’re just “waiting”. It’s ghoulish, but cheaper than medical interventions. Secondly, if you have to do Hospice, ask about United Way funds. They have a fund set aside for people and not being married, only her income counts against her.

  40. 40
    Gex says:

    Wonder why the palliative care team said insurance doesn’t cover hospice? Maybe I misheard them.

  41. 41
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    Marcus looks ‘very happy’ in that picture. I mean, very happy.

    Michele just looks nuts as usual.

  42. 42
    Roger Moore says:


    That would be awesome if she gets charged with convicted of a felony.

    FTFY. As long as it’s just “charged with”, she’ll play martyr. I’d like to see her spend a nice long time in the slammer.

  43. 43
    Cassidy says:

    @Gex: My wife used to be the insurance coordinator for a hospice and home health care agency. She would call the insurance company and negotiate hospice care. From what she’s told me a lot of them do if it’s the end, for all intents and purposes, as in DNR, no medical interventions except pain managment, etc.

  44. 44
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:


    I know it sounds lame but stay strong and take care of yourself.

    Best wishes and good luck Gex.

  45. 45
    Roger Moore says:

    @double nickel:

    More than a few skeletons in their closets, I imagine.

    It’s not the skeletons that Marcus is afraid of people finding in his closet.

  46. 46
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:


    That’s what’s missing from the picture, Marcus eating a corn dog!

  47. 47
    Grumpy Code Monkey says:


    That would be awesome if she gets charged with a felony.

    And to me, this is far more interesting and consequential than anything about Marcus. This is where the discussion should be, not speculating about Marcus’ proclivities.

    Marcus isn’t the elected official; he’s not affecting anyone’s lives outside of his immediate circle; his sexual orientation is fucking irrelevant to anyone he isn’t actively fucking.

    I don’t even care if Michele was fucking her debate coach; I care if she was misappropriating funds, abusing the power of her office, you know, minor, inconsequential stuff.

  48. 48
    Gex says:

    @Grumpy Code Monkey: exgay therapy with government funding counts as “affecting other people”.

  49. 49
    MattF says:

    @Grumpy Code Monkey: But… Michelle was saving the country from… um… something. Something colored, I’m guessing.

  50. 50
    Grumpy Code Monkey says:

    @Gex: Then talk about that, not his sex life.

  51. 51
    Roger Moore says:

    I wish I could say something that would help.

  52. 52
  53. 53
    Mandalay says:

    @Grumpy Code Monkey:

    his sexual orientation is fucking irrelevant to anyone he isn’t actively fucking.

    Exactly. I posted the same thing in another thread the other day. A lot of posters on this board are not nearly as tolerant and progressive as they might like to think.

    And we have the “progressive” mistermix egging them on by posting drivel like this: “It’s not as interesting as the Marcus stuff, but goddam do I love finding pictures of this couple, so here you go.”

    Nobody knows a damn thing about the amount of love or sex in the Bachmann’s marriage, yet we get idiots here bragging that “I can smell the gay off of that picture”.

  54. 54
    Persia says:

    @Gex: This. Defrauding the government to provide exgay therapy is even worse (though it’s sub-basement level at this point).

    Take care, Gex.

  55. 55
    Roger Moore says:


    I’m not sure I agree. I think there’s a plausible reason to be especially upset about closeted gays who actively fight against equality. Assuming that Marcus really is in that category- and there’s no doubt about his fighting against equality- then he deserves special opprobrium.

  56. 56
    JCT says:

    @Gex: Hang in there Gex, I’ve been on both sides of this, as a physician and a daughter (and daughter-in-law). I agree with everyone re: negotiating hospice. Have you talked with a social worker at the hospital? They can be helpful and this is right in their wheelhouse.

    My father-in-law was mistakenly intubated despite a living will and we insisted that they extubate him – it took a day of arguing (with my own colleagues, no less). I was the one who sat with him afterwards to try to spare the rest of my husband’s family because I knew how difficult it would be. And it was – for 14 hours. In the end, you are carrying out her wishes and that is the greatest gift. Most people don’t get that, not even close.

    Make sure they keep her comfortable and take care of yourself. Sending strong thoughts.

  57. 57
    Mandalay says:

    @Roger Moore:

    Assuming that Marcus really is in that category

    But that is exactly the issue: do you, or anyone else here, know for a fact that he is gay, or do you just assume that because it conveniently fits with your other views?

    Posters shouldn’t (but do) assume that he is, and then pile on, and make comments like “I can smell the gay off of that picture”. There is so much to criticize about the Bachmanns without smearing the husband for the possibility that he might be gay based on his appearance.

    ETA By all means pile on for his behavior towards gays if he admits that he is gay, but not before.

  58. 58
    Mnemosyne says:


    I’m so sorry, Gex. We had to make a similar decision for my father a couple of weeks ago — he was not intubated, fortunately, but the doctor decided that the oxygen mask was just prolonging things and my mom had to approve switching him to just the oxygen in the nose, which was hard for her.

    I know you want to be there with her right at the end, but don’t be surprised or feel guilty if it doesn’t happen that way. My dad waited until my mom and I had left the hospital before he passed away, and I’ve heard so many stories from caregivers about how they took one lunch break or one nap and that was when the ill person died. I do think sometimes people choose to do it that way to spare their loved ones the pain of having to see the very end — I’m sure that was the case with my dad, who knew it would be too painful for my mom to have to watch him go, so he waited for her to leave to let himself go.

  59. 59
    Cassidy says:

    Concerns have been noted and will be brought up at the next quaterly purity meeting. Now, does anyone have the damn list for who’s supposed to bring snacks and juice?

  60. 60
    Todd Dugdale says:

    I think that it’s dawning on the MNGOP that Michele is a very expensive punchline. The MN 6th is an R+7 District, which means that a Republican should win by 14 points in a “normal” election cycle. Bachmann won by 1.2%, and that meagre victory required soaking up many millions that could have been better spent elsewhere.

    A reasonably sane Republican (I know) could hold the 6th for eternity with almost no money. In the end, the 6th is just *one* House seat out of hundreds. In the Big Picture, it’s meaningless.

    As a Minnesotan, I feel compelled to point out that Michele is not popular state-wide. Polling shows that she would lose badly to Franken in 2014. Bachmann was supposed to “blow the minds” of the “urban libs” with “the Truth”, but she has become a tired punchline to them instead. This means that her usefulness has come to an end, even for the MN wingnuts.

  61. 61
    thalarctos says:

    @Gex: I’m so sorry, Gex. I wish there were something I could say that would help.

  62. 62
    Woodrowfan says:

    I’m so sorry Gex…

  63. 63
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @Gex: I read this earlier and thought about the movie “Shadowlands” about C.S. Lewis’ romance. Regardless of what you think of his religion, there are some great quotes in there, among them this: “We can’t have the happiness of yesterday without the pain of today. That’s the deal.”

    Best wishes and peace to you.

  64. 64
    AxelFoley says:


    Michelle is a prime example of one of those barroom questionnaires…. how desperate a dude do you have to be to wanna tap that crazy ass bitch. For some guys, there is no line that can’t be crossed.

    The crazy makes the sex even better.

    That’s…the logic we use. ;)

  65. 65
    cokane says:

    thats pretty ridiculous news considering how much she raised in campaign money for her house race.

  66. 66
    Elie says:


    My Dad died as I was on my way back to the nursing home… I DID feel guilty but then realized that the family and I had been there for him through the last days, bearing witness to his journey out. It was an honor to be there with him, to spoon water to his lips and hold his hand, put lotion on his skin..He had end stage Parkinson and it took some doing to find a nursing home that would completely honor his wishes for no intervention besides spooning water or ice chips and whatever soft food could pass his lips without him choking. At the end, it was just being there with him, talking to him, remembering to him, playing music that he liked, letting him hear us cry..

    My Mom is 90+ and though hanging in there, will one day pass on. I never miss a day to tell her how much that I love her and to spend time remembering our lives together and talking about it now.

  67. 67
    johnny aquitard says:

    @Grumpy Code Monkey:

    he’s not affecting anyone’s lives outside of his immediate circle; his sexual orientation is fucking irrelevant to anyone he isn’t actively fucking.

    Marcus runs clinics that do ‘ex-gay therapy‘, where he promises ‘cures’ for homosexuality by praying away the gay. So yeah he does affect peoples’ lives, and in a very destructive and harmful way. Obviously his orientation is relevant.

    Edit: What gex said, only much earlier. Need to read all comments before responding…

  68. 68
    gogol's wife says:


    I’m so sorry to hear this. I think I missed part of the story. I’m sending you prayers and good wishes.

  69. 69
    johnny aquitard says:

    Gex, so sorry to hear what you and your girlfriend are going through.

  70. 70
    WaterGirl says:

    @Gex: So very sorry, Gex. Damn, life is not fair.

    I read your comment on the other thread about comics and tributes to Kate and how being around them is helping you. I hope you are able to have some of those people over to your house so you can share laughter and tears with other people who love Kate, in the house you shared with Kate, before you have to be there alone.

    Those shared memories will help sustain you when you need it most.

  71. 71
    Sad_Dem says:

    Marcus Bachmann : gaydar :: aircraft carrier : radar

  72. 72
    Gretchen says:

    She’d be pretty if it weren’t for the crazy-eyes.

  73. 73
    nemesis says:

    That gown makes her look chubby. Am I being catty?

  74. 74
    Edo says:

    @Gex: I have no words to offer, but all my sympathies.

  75. 75
    Gex says:

    @Grumpy Code Monkey: his sex life is relevant to his promotion of exgay therapy, don’t you think?

  76. 76
    tofubo says:

    wow, i have a beard also, too

    but itz cus i don’t shave

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