Friday Evening Open Thread: Another Modest Proposal

Reports Ray Richmond, at Deadline:

Chris Rock has famously riffed on gun control in his own stand-up comedy act, ranting that there should be no restriction on guns, but bullets ought to cost $5,000 apiece. “The gun lobby also says people need to be able to protect their property,” Rock said, “but every mass shooting is done by guys who live with their mother. So I believe you should need to have a mortgage to buy a gun. A mortgage is a real background check. Even if you go to jail for 30 years, you’ve still got to pay your fucking mortgage.”..

Of course, the skeptics will say that the process of obtaining a mortgage might drive more people into rage-induced shootouts, but then, after the inevitable closing-ceremony “surprise” where the bank somehow discovers one last essential several-thousand-dollar lien/license/fee without which the whole process must be called off, very few people will be able to afford the bullets.

Apart from “manhood cards”, what’s on the agenda for the start of the weekend?

77 replies
  1. 1
    Eric S says:

    I realize my one home purchase went spectacularly well but I was in and out of my closing in 40 minutes. No surprises. I give all the credit to my outstanding lawyer.

  2. 2
    Culture of Truth says:

    what’s on the agenda for the start of the weekend?

    Bobby Jindal wants to eliminate all state income taxes and business taxes and jack up the state’s sales tax. This will make Louisiana the paradise it was meant to be.

  3. 3
    Roger Moore says:

    A “manhood card” is not on my agenda for the weekend, or any other time, for that matter. I may go hiking this weekend, though.

  4. 4
    Roger Moore says:

    @Eric S:
    I think they’ve been trying to streamline the process, which makes it easier for everyone. My closing only took about an hour, and it would have gone faster if I hadn’t insisted on reading all the stuff they wanted me to sign. Thankfully, there were no last minute charges, either.

  5. 5
    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason says:

    At our first settlement I took a calculator that did compound interest and found a mistake in how the bank calculated our monthly payment. Idjits.

  6. 6
    cathyx says:

    Boy, evenings start early on Fridays.

  7. 7
    Violet says:

    Anyone know anything about this?

    Barack Obama may intervene directly on climate change by hosting a summit at the White House early in his second term, environmental groups say.

    They say the White House has given encouraging signals to a proposal for Obama to use the broad-based and bipartisan summit to launch a national climate action strategy.

    “What we talked about with the White House is using it as catalyst not just for the development of a national strategy but for mobilising people all over the country at every level,” said Bob Doppelt, executive director of the Resource Innovation Group, the Oregon-based thinktank that has been pushing for the high-level meeting. He said it would not be a one-off event.

    Wingnut heads would explode even more than they already are if he did this.

  8. 8
    Culture of Truth says:


    “there is no silver bullet” to stop gun violence

  9. 9
    Raging Bear says:

    @Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason: yep, same here. And they STILL had the nerve to be upset that I continued to read everything I signed and still continued to check their calculations, as if I had caught their ONE mistake and that there couldn’t possibly be another mistake.

    Which of course, there was.

  10. 10
  11. 11
    BGinCHI says:

    @Culture of Truth: It says “sportsman’s paradise” on the license plates.

    Now I expect it will be, since there won’t be any schools or public services to get in the way of all the sporting.

    The next license plates ought to say:

    Louisiana: It’s the 19th Century Here

  12. 12
    trollhattan says:


    First mention I’ve seen of it–hope it’s true although it would deprive Kitchen Device of a tacotalking point.

  13. 13
    smintheus says:

    We’re undergoing an absolutely insane refinancing of our (mostly paid off) mortgage. Been told lord knows how many times since November that we’ve “been approved” or “we’re all set” or “we just need you to fax us one final document” or “the underwriter gave the ok”. We’ve even had closing dates set up…only to be told that our agent hadn’t quite looked at all the paperwork. And we’re still waiting, no justifications for all the delays except “we messed up”. It’s starting to look like either the worst incompetence ever, or a giant fraud.

  14. 14

    I’ll be spending my evening sweeping up the contents of a box of pasta that *someone* (cough Flossie) found and spread across the entire living room and dining room floors and which I did not discover until I was leaving for work this morning. Le sigh.

  15. 15
    japa21 says:

    Nothing doing tonight. Tommorrow night taking the wife to see the Professional Bull Riders tournament in Chicago. Course this means having to DVR the Pakcers game and somehow or other avoid any news on it until I get home and can watch it to be disappointed.

  16. 16
    WereBear says:

    @BGinCHI: The next license plates ought to say:
    Louisiana: It’s the 19th Century Here

    Which is fine, except they don’t get to pick and choose. No more dental anesthesia or motorcars for the likes of you!

  17. 17
    Suffern ACE says:

    I’m heading to Philadelphia this weekend to go to the Mutter Museum and the Penn Museum before the Maya exhibit closes. I’ll apply for my manhood card when I get back.

  18. 18
    Roger Moore says:


    Now I expect it will be, since there won’t be any schools or public services to get in the way of all the sporting.

    There won’t be any law enforcement to prevent hunting the most dangerous game.

  19. 19
    22over7 says:

    Getting up in a few minutes to start the stock for homemade chicken soup tonight. A front’s rolling in (or so my sinuses tell me) and soup sounds good for a cold and windy night.

    Maybe a glass or two of wine as well.

  20. 20
    BGinCHI says:

    @japa21: Man, the shit that goes on around this city that I don’t know about….

  21. 21
    BGinCHI says:

    @WereBear: They won’t have money for roads or dental insurance anyway.

  22. 22
    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason says:

    @Certified Mutant Enemy: The opposite (called a Sinking Fund, maybe?), but it’s the same basic calculation. It’s the reason your principal is low and interest is high on the first payment, and the opposite on the last.

  23. 23
    Baud says:

    @Culture of Truth:

    Louisiana already has a sales tax of 4%. Not that low.

  24. 24
    Crashman says:

    Going to see Silver Linings Playbook tonight. Shopping for baby stuff tomorrow, finally taking down Christmas decorations, clearing some stuff out of th extra room. Hope there’s some time for football watching in there too.

  25. 25
    gbear says:

    I remember getting all the way through the signing of papers at my house closing and at the very last second it was discovered that the mortgage company didn’t have the form showing my proof of income. They were going to shut the whole thing down and make me reschedule (after having already made ALL of the moving arrangments).
    Something sounded familiar so I went digging through the papers I had brought with me.
    “Is this what you’re looking for?”
    “Why do you have that? You’re not supposed to have that. You’re not even supposed to have SEEN that.”
    “The secretary at work gave it to me so we could verify that everything was right…”
    They took my copy, pretended I didn’t supply it, and gave me the house keys within 15 minutes.
    Then I went to my new house and started chipping two months worth of ice off of the sidewalks so the movers didn’t kill themselves.

  26. 26
    gelfling545 says:

    Just got off the phone with the veterinary clinic where Snarla the wonder pug is hospitalized. I expected to be going in to sign for euthanasia today but instead there’s some now hope she may recover. They were pretty certain she had liver cancer but it turns out that the issue is with her gall bladder which has caused inflammation & the elevated liver readings. Poor old girl turned orange today! So after walking around all day sniffling into a tissue, we now have some hope of recovery if all goes well although she’ll be in the hospital at least through the weekend getting IV fluids & antibiotics. She’s 11 and I know we’ll part in the not too distant future but right now I’m really thrilled that she will likely be with me a while longer.

  27. 27
    Eric S says:

    @Roger Moore: Probably the biggest hold up at mine, and by far the funniest, was my lawyers insistence that I sign my full name: full first name, middle initial, full last name. You know, using cursive. I haven’t done anything other than initial, initial, last name squiggle in over a decade. I struggled mightily. Everyone got a good laugh.

  28. 28
    Ruckus says:

    I took the bite and now waiting for my new apple to arrive.

    With poetry like that I could write for a newspaper.

  29. 29
    handy says:


    Go Snarla! (from a fellow pug owner parent)

  30. 30
    BGinCHI says:

    @Baud: What??

    Ours is around 10!

  31. 31
    BGinCHI says:

    @Ruckus: They say it keeps the Doctor away but my wife is always home.

  32. 32
    Baud says:


    That’s just the state tax. Localities impose their own sales tax in Louisiana.

    Louisiana’s income tax is, I believe, one of the lowest in the nation.

  33. 33
    Raven says:

    @Roger Moore: We refi’d our rental in the fall and it took three months. We’re building an addition on our house and the process only took 5 weeks. Dunno why?

  34. 34
    WereBear says:

    @gelfling545: Happy about the good news!

  35. 35
    Eric S says:


    Man, the shit that goes on around this city that I don’t know about….

    I had the same thought. A little ways back a buddy called me and asked, “You like The Who?” Of course I do. “Pick me up in 1/2 hour,” he said.

    Still I’m lost but beginning to have suspicions. “Why?”

    “They’re playing at All-State Arena and I have box seats from work.”

    I totally didn’t have a clue. Great show.

  36. 36
    Culture of Truth says:

    @Baud: They’re looking at doubling it to 8%. Presumably rich people will drive out of state for big purchases.

    …and then report that on their annual state tax filing. LOL

  37. 37
    BGinCHI says:

    @Baud: Oh, right. Forgot about the layers.

    What are the consequences of states under-taxing in terms of the flow of federal dollars?

    Doesn’t what Jindal proposes mean the slack will have to be taken up by the Feds? Or does LA just sink lower in terms of all quality of life measurements?

  38. 38
    BGinCHI says:

    @Culture of Truth: Plus it’s regressive as hell.

  39. 39
    Baud says:

    @Culture of Truth:

    From February 2012:

    Louisiana’s sales taxes 3rd highest in nation

    Louisiana residents who get sticker shock when they look at the sales tax added to their purchases might have good reason, according to a report that ranks Louisiana’s sales taxes the third-highest in the nation. The study, published Tuesday by the Washington-based Tax Foundation, ranks states based on a combination of their statewide sales tax rate and their average local sales tax rates. The local rates are weighted by population, according to the study.

  40. 40
    BGinCHI says:

    @Eric S: I need to pay some fun people to kidnap me once a month or so.

  41. 41


    Plus it’s regressive as hell.

    To conservatives, that’s a feature, not a bug.

  42. 42
    Baud says:


    I don’t know if a state’s tax structure has any effect on the flow of federal dollars, but not my area of expertise.

  43. 43
    japa21 says:

    @BGinCHI: At the All State Arena. Spouse got 4 second row box seats from one of the doctors she works for. Started watching these guys a couple years ago. Gotta to be crazy to do what they do for a living.

  44. 44
    Jay C says:


    Glad I went back and re-read your post: I originally read it as “Snarla the wonder PIG” – good thing I didn’t make the comment I was thinking of…

    Hope Ms. Pug is OK!

  45. 45
    Mandalay says:

    I just wanted to give a plug to one of the best web sites I’ve ever seen: everydaysexism, where anyone can post an example of sexism that they observed or experienced.

    Some of the entries are really moving:

    My Dad jokes that the Indian version on ‘Gangnam Style’ is probably called ‘Gangbang Style’ after the recent Delhi rapes. Ashamed to be his daughter.

    Others are quite profound for me (as a male). They make me think “Wow….I’d never realized that, but it’s true…”:

    People assume all nurses are automatically female. If a nurse is a man we need to make him a “male nurse” instead.

    In school, us girls were taken off and told not to drink, go out alone at night, wear our hair in ponytails and that was it. Usual victim-blamy crap. The boys were never, AFAIK, taught about consent and not raping people.

    My horrible next door neighbour won’t clean her own drain “because it a mans job” so the whole place gets clogged up. There is nothing manly about dirt, it’s dirt. We refuse on principle to let my dad do it, so my mum does it.

    We are all so conditioned to think in certain ways (pink for girls, dirt for males, etc.) that we really need to have such silliness highlighted.

    How do we reduce sexism in society, by which I mean changing the minds as opposed to creating new laws? I think the first step is to make the case that it is pervasive, and this site is really great at doing that.

  46. 46
    Ruckus says:

    Sometimes you get what you pay for.

  47. 47
    Schlemizel says:

    I created the linked graph and comment in response to some gun nut friends on FB who have been frothing at the mouth for a couple of weeks now. I think it is a very good demonstration of how safety can be improved without taking away everyones guns

  48. 48
    Josie says:

    @gelfling545: I hope Snarla continues to improve. Pugs can be frustrating, but they really worm their way into your heart. I kept my grandpuppy, Emma the pug, for a year and miss her now that she has returned to her rightful owner.

  49. 49
    Brachiator says:

    Apart from “manhood cards”, what’s on the agenda for the start of the weekend?

    Gotta work Saturday. I have some mild delusion that I might try to see one of the Oscar nominated films on Sunday, but I might end up doing everything I can not to leave the house.

  50. 50
    MattR says:

    @Schlemizel: Love it. Assume I can send that link out to others.

  51. 51
    Mandalay says:

    The host of NBC’s “Meet the Press,” David Gregory, will not be arrested or charged with a crime for waiving what he claimed was a high-capacity ammunition gun clip on national television last month.

    D.C. attorney general Irvin B. Nathan announced his decision Friday afternoon by releasing a letter to an attorney for NBC. Nathan wrote that though the device Gregory held up “meets the definition” of the criminal statute, he wrote that prosecution “would not promote public safety in the District of Columbia nor serve the best interests of the people of the District to whom this office owes its trust.”

    This is a missed opportunity and a national tragedy. Surely putting Gregory away for life, and throwing away the key, would “serve the best interests of the people of the District”.

  52. 52
    gelfling545 says:

    @Josie: They really are not a dog for just anybody, are they, between being a shedding machine & totally stubborn resistance to training. Yet they are such faithful companions. You are never really alone when you have a pug in the house.

  53. 53
    Cassidy says:

    Being all open thready, talking about combat sports got me thinking about the female mma card I watched last weekend. It was exciting and fun and they’re fighting for acceptance in a sport we know could possibly cause long term injury. Also the first female UFC match will involve an openly gay fighter who’s also a huge underdog.

  54. 54
    kindness says:


  55. 55
    Short Bus Bully says:

    In case you haven’t seen it…



  56. 56

    Heading to Legoland with my daughter. That’s some man card right thurr.

  57. 57
    Arm The Homeless says:

    Well Yosemite Sam wannabe, James Yeager had his gun license revoked by TN today. I will drink to that on a hot Friday in Dixie.

  58. 58
    Arm The Homeless says:

    LOL, I I wasn’t fast enough for the short bus bully

  59. 59
    Petorado says:

    Brilliant tax scheme Gov. Jindal. It’s not like an uber-high sales tax will force residents to buy more stuff online (which is not yet subject to state sales tax) and thereby losing sales from instate business to out-of-state operations. Kill the state’s business base while also strangling government — what a nuts policy idea.

  60. 60
  61. 61
    Mnemosyne says:

    My mother-in-law arrives in 3 weeks, and we have not solved our pack rat tendencies.

    This weekend could get ugly.

  62. 62
    Roger Moore says:

    @Arm The Homeless:

    Yosemite Sam wannabe, James Yeager had his gun license man card revoked by TN today.

    Fixt for teh irony. This is the drawback of using a penile substitute; the government can emasculate you just like that.

  63. 63
    Arm The Homeless says:

    @Roger Moore: I sure hope any living entities are not in his house after the ‘shine bender this whisky tango will be on this weekend.

  64. 64
    Keith G says:

    I notice Kindle Fire HDs are are being sold at a store near me for $169.

    Can any Fire HD users tell me how they like that pad/reader?

  65. 65
    Arm The Homeless says:

    @Keith G: my so loves hers very much. It’s also pretty easy to root if you’re into that sort of thing.

  66. 66
    Gravenstone says:

    @Eric S:

    You know, using cursive.

    I learned cursive in third grade, and had abandoned it by sixth because I had an African pen pal who complained he couldn’t read my writing. After printing everything (including signature) for the next dozen years or so, my bank forced me “sign” something. Even though I’d had accounts with them since I was 8, they insisted. So I cranked out some scribble approximation of a signature that would embarrass an MD and called it a day. Been using the same scribble (approximately) since.

  67. 67
    Brachiator says:

    @Keith G:

    Can any Fire HD users tell me how they like that pad/reader?

    Got one as a gift. A little perverse, since I already have an iPad.

    Like it for Amazon services, ebooks, videos, music. The screen quality is very good. No problems at all with these features and the Wi Fi is usually solid. Here is compares well with the Nexus 7 and the iPad.

    It is a very “crippled,” or customized Android device. You cannot use the full range of Android apps with it.

    I haven’t had it very long, so I don’t know if some issues are specific to me or is a larger problem. At times, it shows as “My Kindle” instead of the specific identifier “Brachiator’s Kindle.” When this happens, it is slow to launch, the time is wrong, and I get a few other performance quirks.

    The podcast app Doggcatcher works well on a friend’s Nexus, but sometimes crashes and otherwise goofs up on the Kindle Fire.

    I was able to set up and use the Kindle version of Skype very easily. The Silk browser is pretty good, nothing fancy.

    Battery life is around 8 plus to nine hours, based on a combination of audio and video material. I don’t do games, so cannot comment on this area.

    By comparison, my first gen iPad operated flawlessly, and has not had anything like the little Kindle Fire quirks.

    I have Amazon Prime, so I use it for a lot of video and some music. Currently, I do not think you can get and play Amazon instant videos on the Nexus 7, which otherwise might be a stronger choice.

  68. 68
    Pococurante says:

    Every 57 minutes… an intoxicated driver kills another citizen.

    Redress! There is no alternative. Every car must be refitted with an Intoxication Detection device. All owners whose cars are not fitted with such a device should be listed on a public website detailing name, address, and make of car. After all, every owner when they registered their car they agreed to public awareness.

    The New York Times Ethicist tells us this is appropriate as cars, like guns, are optional and clearly cars, like guns, are simply a want not a need.

    Ezra Klein has been telling the world for years that individually-owned cars are killing our ecology, that we can all surrender our cars for mass transit or bicycles. There is no other choice we’re told, just like why major urban cities should shun tens to hundreds of stories. Look at Superstorm Sandy….

    Asa Hutchinson tells us that there is no middle ground decriminalizing drugs. A Libertarian must be all in and we all know what that means for our society. Car drivers, intoxicated on whatever, are killing people because intoxicated car driving must be as socially unacceptable as anyone owning a gun, who will sit in their living room watching TV, and wait for the home invaders who used a newspaper website to get a Google street view of their house.

    O wonder!
    How many goodly creatures are there here!
    How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,
    That has such people in’t.
    —William Shakespeare, The Tempest, Act V, Scene I, ll. 203–206

    Cole accused Bloomberg for Facism earlier. And he was right. But Facism is a common shield of the hard left, to explain why invasive regulation for things that don’t affect them immediately are so good for society.

    Little pocket andy sullivans….

  69. 69
    Mnemosyne says:


    I’m sure that made sense inside your head, but I gotta admit, I have no fucking idea what you’re trying to say.

  70. 70
    Riley's Enabler says:

    @Keith G:

    I love my Kindle Fire HD more than wine, and that’s saying a lot. It’s brilliant as a reader, and has the added benefit of streaming video (Netflix and Amazon) for the Sprog to enjoy.

    I love my Kindle. Dearly.

  71. 71
    Arm The Homeless says:

    @Mnemosyne: Man, I am glad I wasn’t the only one who was wondering

    I eagerly await the wailing from coastal GOP counties when the ocean reclaims their yards, and they have to go hat in hand to the feds for mitigation funds. The irony will be tempered by the reality that we will pay for it while they whine about terms.

  72. 72
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Raging Bear:

    Interesting. Van Halen’s infamous “remove all the brown M&Ms from the bowl of M&Ms” contract detail was in there to make sure that the venue read the entire contract…to include the elaborate instructions for the electric set up to assure the safety of the entire magilla. They put the M&Ms detail in there to have some assurance that the venue read the contract and was following it precisely.

  73. 73
    Anne Laurie says:


    My mother-in-law arrives in 3 weeks, and we have not solved our pack rat tendencies.

    Not a permanent solution, but if you can afford to rent a small storage unit on a month-to-month (or even week-to-week) lease, stuff “everything” in there to separate Packrat Panic from Visiting Inlaw Wars.

    The Spousal Unit and I are both ADD, he’s got organizational problems & I’m mildly OCD. Having all the “stuff” in a neutral territory, away from immediate visibility, helped to diffuse our separate anxieties enough that we didn’t fall back on whining about how the other party’s stuff was less valuable, more obtrusive, or generally a sign of weak moral character (not to mention a bad upbringing).

    Just having to box up the “stuff” and transport it is a first-level how-much-do-I-really-want-this form of de-escalation. And once you’ve got the space in your home to actually use, it’s a real incentive.

  74. 74
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    Unfortunately, my spousal unit has already forbidden that solution (though it may appear more attractive to him as we get closer to the date). He is rightly afraid that if I get a storage locker, it will end up on “Storage Wars” when I forget where it is and what’s in it.

    We’re going to try and come up with a plan of attack tonight and see how it goes. Fortunately, my MIL already lives with her hoarder sister and she likes me, so at least we won’t have that stress. It’s not like my OCD mother is coming to visit (she’s the one who won’t have wallpaper in her house because she can’t stop thinking about all of the dirt she just knows is accumulating behind it). It’s literally more a matter of needing to have enough places for people to sit down.

  75. 75
    Yutsano says:

    Working overtime tomorrow. Maybe. If it snows too bad it ain’t happening though.

  76. 76
    Groucho48 says:

    Dungeons and Dragons Online groupage with guildies during the day all week end. Should finish the final book of The Wheel of Time Series tonight. One of my regular wateringholes is throwing a birthday bash for one of their bartenders tomorrow evening. Sunday evening going to spoil the grandkids a bit.

    Typical week end.

  77. 77
    Schlemizel says:



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