First They Lose to Alabama, and Then They Get Booted Out of Court: Notre Dame Can’t Catch A Break

A federal judge booted Notre Dame’s lawsuit complaining about the birth control benefit out of court — on a technicality. Judge Robert Miller ruled that the lawsuit wasn’t ripe, and that the lawsuit might never be ripe. (In order for a lawsuit to proceed in court, it must be ripe — in other words, shit must be going down imminently. You can’t sue based on something that might happen.)

Judge Miller also ruled that Notre Dame doesn’t have standing to sue because the Obama Administration promised to revise the birth control deal in order to address the complaints of Notre Dame and others, and if the deal is revised, then whatever shit that eventually goes down won’t affect Notre Dame in the first place.

Click through to read the full post and to praise me for my restraint in not making an untoward Roll Tide, contraception, menstruation joke.

Get it? Roll Tide? Crimson Tide?

Is this thing on?

[read full post at ABLC]

27 replies
  1. 1
    Schlemizel says:

    Could be a great week with ND going 0 for 3.

    Pasta be praised!

  2. 2
    Bulworth says:

    Corporations, I mean private universities, have it so rough these days. Sigh.

  3. 3
    Schlemizel says:

    BTW – isn’t that an old sailors verse?
    Red tide at morning, sailor take warning
    Red tide at night, sailor in fright

  4. 4
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    This is good.

    Notre Dame obviously did not belong in that game last night.

    I still think Alabama and Oregon should have played, but the BCS is bullshit.

  5. 5

    That seems like a strange ruling. The govt promised to change, so the court can’t review existing regulations? I must be missing something…

  6. 6
    Yutsano says:


    (inb4 trollz)

  7. 7
    Zifnab25 says:

    I’m curious to know what the work-around is going to be for private self-insured groups. The back door of “regulate the insurers, not the employers” worked well enough initially. What tortured logic will we have to employ so that Notre Dame has to provide coverage without *technically* providing coverage? :-p

  8. 8
    J. Michael Neal says:

    @Schlemizel: Hopefully it’s a bad week for anyone with the initials UND .

    Chapter six is done. I think.

  9. 9
    Zifnab25 says:


    The govt promised to change, so the court can’t review existing regulations? I must be missing something…

    Notre Dame is currently exempt from the rule. They can’t sue over a rule they are exempt from. And they can’t sue over a rule they will perhaps suffer under in the future. They’ll have to wait for the rule to imminently affect them.

  10. 10
    J. Michael Neal says:

    @reflectionephemeral: The regulations Notre Dame was suing over never went into effect. As of right now, there is no official government policy and nothing that is stated as what is going to be government policy. They have nothing to sue about.

  11. 11
    The Dangerman says:

    A little (Deacon) Blue humor for the morning.


  12. 12
    Steeplejack says:


    Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.
    Red sky at morning, sailor take warning

  13. 13
    J. Michael Neal says:

    @Schlemizel: I see another player has left UNO for major juniors. I haven’t paid that much attention to the men’s game this year, but it seems like there have been a lot of those this year. Is something finally starting to breakdown in men’s college hockey.

    Of course, on the women’s side, I’ve heard rumors that the end of the lockout means that the Gophers could lose a couple of players to the NHL.

  14. 14
    Violet says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    the BCS is bullshit


  15. 15
    Yutsano says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I still think Alabama and Oregon should have played, but the BCS is bullshit.

    (to copy Violet)


  16. 16
    Carnacki says:

    “Is this thing on?”
    Answer here

  17. 17
    Soonergrunt says:

    @reflectionephemeral: Those regulations haven’t hurt ND in any way because they’ve never been effected (which is bullshit btw) therefore, ND has never been affected by them.
    There has been no harm, therefore there can be no foul. Since ND cannot show that they have been actually harmed, they have no legal cause to sue. They cannot sue under the grounds of what might happen in the future, because those potential losses might never occur.
    For example, I can’t sue you for damages because you might travel to Oklahoma City and throw a brick though the window of my house because it would be unfair to punish you for something that you haven’t done yet. After all, you might not travel to OKC and throw a brick through my window, and therefore I haven’t suffered any loss at your hands.

  18. 18

    As I noted in an earlier thread this morning Notre Dame has a rape cover up problem:

    As unbeaten Notre Dame prepares to play in tonight’s national championship game against Alabama, the sports media have chosen not to discuss the fact that this football team has two players on its roster suspected of sexual assault and rape; two players whose crimes have been ignored; two players whose accusers felt harassed and intimidated; two players whose presence on the field Monday night should be seen as a national disgrace.

    The main reason this is taking place is because their accusers are not pressing charges. One cannot, because she is dead. Nineteen-year-old Lizzy Seeberg, a student at neighboring St. Mary’s College, took her own life after her claims of being assaulted in a dorm room were met with threats and indifference. The other accuser, despite description of a brutal rape, won’t file charges—“absolutely 100%”—because of what Seeberg experienced.

  19. 19
    Soonergrunt says:

    @ABL, top: Crimson tide…thanks for reminding us of the joke that you didn’t actually use. We really dodged a bullet there.

  20. 20
    Tonal Crow says:

    People think that [read full post at].

  21. 21
    Matthew Reid Krell says:

    As an Alabama alumnus, I approve of any and all menstruation jokes involving the Crimson Tide.

  22. 22
    AmyFarr says:

    “In order for a lawsuit to proceed in court, it must be ripe — in other words, shit must be going down imminently.”

    Definitely going in my next ripeness/mootness brief. Love you!

  23. 23
    J R in WV says:

    “Is this thing on?

    I’m here all week!

    Try the veal!”

    I’ve always thought that “Red Tide” was an appropriate name for Alabama’s team. Ugly, smells bad, toxic.

  24. 24
    Schlemizel says:


    Not nearly as fun as my version!

    @J. Michael Neal:
    Funny but I would suspect UMD would be more of a threat to lose women to the NHL ;)

    I am hoping for the Gophers to once again humiliate the traitor twins and pad their SH goal totals

  25. 25

    Thanks, all, for setting me straight. The regulations *don’t* apply to ND. Rather a key distinction.

  26. 26
    Haydnseek says:

    ABL’s joke has a bit of history behind it. My uncle, a hard-core Alabama fan, was at the1947 Sugar Bowl game between Alabama and Texas. For years, he told the story about the Texas cheerleading squad and his favorite cheer: “Go Tex! Stop that Crimson Tide!” Texas accomplished this quite handily, beating Bama 27 to 7. Still love the cheer.

  27. 27

    @Soonergrunt: see what i did there? ha!

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