One for the alien archaeologists

I spend more time than I should wondering what future historians from some other civilization or species or planet will make of contemporary American society.

It’s hard to imagine this they’ll be impressed by this (via).

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82 replies
  1. 1
    Baud says:

    LOL. He led with Rush and Sean.

  2. 2
    Mike in NC says:

    So he’s worrying about what the scum of the earth think about this? Fuck him.

  3. 3
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Baud: Well, he oughta know who’s in charge of his own herd. I’m surprised he left off his hero, Hugh Hewitt– haven’t heard his name in a while, come to think of it. And please let “Santo” become a force in the post-Willard GOP.

  4. 4
    Comrade Jake says:

    I thought for sure Romney would be in the list.

  5. 5
    kc says:

    Hahaha! DougJ has a fake Halperin Twitter account! Nice work, Dougj. :)

  6. 6
    Maude says:

    Halperin has a failed novel.
    Gov. Christie is waiting to see of they pass the two part Sandy bill.

  7. 7
    Comrade Jake says:

    I’m sure Palin could offer deep insight on the fiscal cliff.

  8. 8
    PaulW says:

    It’s interesting to note that Halperin is worried about the opinions of people WHO ARE NOT ELECTED OFFICIALS AT THIS POINT IN TIME.

    Why should we be going by the opinions of people who for all intents are just a bunch of crazy people screaming on a street corner?

  9. 9
    Baud says:

    @PaulW:

    Christie’s elected, which is probably why he’s last on the list.

  10. 10
    cmorenc says:

    @Comrade Jake:

    I thought for sure Romney would be in the list.

    Romney’s already been rendered a non-person in the GOP, at least as a public person. His influence from now forward will be more indirect through his activities on the fundraising circuit on behalf of other GOP organizations and candidates.

  11. 11
    The Dangerman says:

    Rush, Sean, Gigot, Palin, Santo, Huckabee, Jeb, Christie

    Too busy getting high, too busy getting down low, too busy being utterly irrelevant, too busy field dressing a moose, who the fuck is that (Ron’s dead, right?), too busy playing bass, too busy trying to change his last name, too busy with a couple deep dish pizzas.

  12. 12
    RobertDSC-iMac G5 says:

    Heh. I used Willard’s name in a FB discussion with a buddy of mine. Dude’s sharp as a tack and a very close personal friend. But he’s gone full wingnut retard over the cliff. I mocked him by saying he’d be getting less in his paycheck due to the payroll tax cut expiring but that Willard would be able to keep his $100 million IRA without much trouble.

    Predictably, he got mad.

  13. 13
    RobertDSC-iMac G5 says:

    who the fuck is that (Ron’s dead, right?),

    He means Santorum.

  14. 14
    Maude says:

    @cmorenc:
    Christie did his job during Sandy. That’ll get him mentioned last, every time.

  15. 15
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @PaulW: @Baud: It is interesting that even Halperin doesn’t know what Jebbie and Christie think, the real candidates are afraid to poke their heads up.

    I guess the aides who tell Palin what to say are on vacation, and she’s caught up in an HGTV marathon. Or Cops.

  16. 16
    Comrade Jake says:

    @cmorenc: ’twas a joke.

  17. 17
    gogol's wife says:

    @RobertDSC-iMac G5:

    that is so funny. All I could think of was Ron Santo too, and I don’t even clearly remember who he was. He must have been a baseball player. I can hear the announcer saying his name on my mother’s transistor radio.

  18. 18
    Maude says:

    The HOuse is down to the Senate bill or nothing. The spending cut amendment bill is dead according to House GOP leaders.

  19. 19
    f space that says:

    @The Dangerman: Win !

  20. 20
    SenyorDave says:

    I assumed that Krauthammer would be making Grand Rounds at the hospital Hillary Clinton is at, since he obviously wants to be apprised of her condition. How else could the esteemed Dr. Krauthammer opine as to what medical condition Sec. Clinton is faking this week?

    I swear he is looking and acting more like Dr. Strangelove each day.

  21. 21
    Morzer says:

    If alien future archaeologists manage to take us seriously after they unearth the Ryan Plan and our media’s reaction to it, Halperin drunk-tweeting shouldn’t be a major cognitive problem for them.

  22. 22
    Mnemosyne says:

    I’m guessing that they’re all laying low on the orders of their corporate masters and will pop back up once the law is safely passed in the House.

  23. 23
    ploeg says:

    Will Rs put forth spending cuts?

    Huh. What part of “moochers, looters, and freeloaders” doesn’t Halperin understand? I fully expect the House to pass a budget resolution with no numbers in it whatsoever. Bring that puppy in under 16 pages, because bills with more pages than that are BAD.

  24. 24
    Culture of Truth says:

    Was that english?

  25. 25
    Brachiator says:

    Halperin was clearly ingesting too many drugs getting his New Year on.

    However, letting this thing drag over the holidays was bad for the blowhard wingnut pundits. Rush was on vacation, there was more holiday and sports programming, and in general people pay less attention to any of this stuff over the holidays. Not that their noise would have made much difference anyway.

    CNN says that the House will vote on the Senate compromise before 9 pm. Down to the freaking wire.

  26. 26
  27. 27
    Maude says:

    @SenyorDave:
    What kind of man says what he said about Clinton when she is very ill? This clot is serious and scary.

  28. 28
    Comrade Jake says:

    Time for a new post where we all bet on the number of votes this thing will get in the House.

  29. 29
    Bex says:

    Santo was too busy picking up his cilice from the dry cleaner.

  30. 30
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    It’s a good question. I’m hearing a lot of whining – A LOT – from Republicans of all stripes wanting spending cuts. Fine.

    Name them, GOP. Name what you are willing to cut.

    In order to have any significant effect on the Holy Deficit, you get three options:

    Medicare/Medicaid
    Defense
    Social Security

    Anything else that represents less than 1% of the budget (such as the ever-undefined “waste”) isn’t going to cut it. Neither will PBS. Or NASA. Or alternative energy programs.

    Republicans are going to have to pick one of the three to cut, and any one of those will be electoral suicide for them.

  31. 31
    Tom65 says:

    @Maude: The kind of man who wants to do as much damage as he can to the Clinton brand before ’16.

  32. 32
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Maude: to say nothing of the absurd notion that Hillary Clinton is afraid of John McCain and Lindsey Graham.

    If we ever figure out how many angels can indeed dance on the head of a pin, we’ll have to figure out who’s unchanged post-breakdown status in the Beltway is a bigger joke: McCain or Krauthammer.

  33. 33
    quannlace says:

    W/Krauthammer against, where are Rush, Sean, Gigot, Palin, Santo, Huckabee, Jeb, Christie

    As has been noted, that’s a remarkable list. Except for Christie, the lone elected official, the rest are just a bunch of media blow-hards. And we’re supposed to care about their serious, serious thoughts on this…..cuz….why?

  34. 34
    Brachiator says:

    @Comrade Jake:

    Time for a new post where we all bet on the number of votes this thing will get in the House.

    As long as it passes, I don’t much care. However, the number of Republican votes will be interesting. The super cynical view is that Republicans who lost in the November elections will be the only ones allowed to vote for the bill. Something more honestly bipartisan would be amazing.

  35. 35
    Cacti says:

    @Maude:

    Christie did his job during Sandy

    And that was enough to get the proprietor of this blog throwing his panties at Christie Kreme.

  36. 36
    Baud says:

    @Brachiator:

    They need more than that. Pelosi isn’t lining up that many Dem votes to make up the difference.

  37. 37
    lamh35 says:

    A Coup Before Our Eyes?
    by BooMan

    the House caucus met once at midday and then again just after 5pm… Apparently, it became clear that there was a division in the leadership team, with Boehner pointing out that the Senate bill passed with overwhelming Republican support and Paul Ryan saying that he opposed the bill. Eric Cantor went further, arguing “vociferously” against the bill, and then going on CNN after the meeting to drive home the point. Rep. Tim Huelskamp of Kansas, who was recently stripped of one of his committee assignments, said that conservatives were “heartened” to see Cantor take on the Speaker in front of the whole caucus.

    Yet, no one is really talking about today’s impasse as part of some kind of coup against Boehner…Losing the battle over Plan B was bad enough, but to have Cantor and Ryan openly defying him in today’s first caucus meeting has to be seen as a clear indication that his power is spent.

    Try to imagine, if you can, Steny Hoyer and Jim Clyburn pulling a similar kind of stunt on Nancy Pelosi. It’s impossible to imagine. That’s why I think we are quite possibly witnessing less of a freak-out over the terms of the deal than we are seeing a palace coup.
    It’s just hard to see how or why the GOP caucus would reelect Boehner as their Speaker if they so obviously do not trust him or want to follow his lead.

  38. 38
    Cacti says:

    So, when this bill passes the House, is Bohner finished as Speaker, or will Obama still have him around to beat like a mangy dog?

  39. 39
    normal liberal says:

    @SenyorDave:
    Future (and chronologically careless) generations will believe that Krauthammer was the inspiration for Dr. Strangelove. Someday there will be poli sci classes devoted to analyzing the damage engendered by the crazy that is Fox. Or so we can hope.

    I’m waiting for the rewrite of Brave New World in which references to Ford are swapped out for Murdoch.

  40. 40
    JPL says:

    @Comrade Jake: Redshirt earlier mentioned a voice up or down vote so that the repubs could claim they didn’t vote for it. That would be appropriate imo.

  41. 41

    If Hillary had been the nominee in 2008 she would have whooped McCain’s ass as badly as Obama did, McCain was a sorry ass nominee, really, I mean that is the best they could do? The Dems had two historic choices in 2008, the first African American POTUS or the first female POTUS, we chose the first AA POTUS.

  42. 42
    Brachiator says:

    @Baud:

    They need more than that. Pelosi isn’t lining up that many Dem votes to make up the difference.

    Damn. This is going to be fun.

    @Cacti:

    So, when this bill passes the House, is Bohner finished as Speaker, or will Obama still have him around to beat like a mangy dog?

    Either way will be a win for Obama. Would Cantor make a play to oust Boehner?

  43. 43
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    @lamh35:

    It’s just hard to see how or why the GOP caucus would reelect Boehner as their Speaker if they so obviously do not trust him or want to follow his lead.

    Au contraire: the teabagger caucus want the people with actual responsibility to be ones they can oppose. If Cantor took over the gavel, then he’d be in the same position as Boehner within months.

  44. 44
    efgoldman says:

    @Brachiator:

    The super cynical view is that Republicans who lost in the November elections will be the only ones allowed to vote for the bill.

    Are there enough of them? Maybe the “lost in November” group plus the retiring ones.

  45. 45

    @Cacti:

    Oh for fucks sake, if praising a governor for doing his fucking job during a crisis equates to “throwing his panties” at someone then we are doomed as a fucking nation. When my house was two feet under water during Hurricane Floyd I couldn’t give a shit who the fuck was in charge just so long as I could replace my AC unit in the middle of September when it was 100 degrees outside and mold was growing off my floor at the rate of 2 inches a day. Luckily for me it was President Clinton and FEMA was actually functional. Grow the fuck up.

  46. 46
    Raven says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: You swear pretty good for a Limey!

  47. 47
    Cacti says:

    @Brachiator:

    Either way will be a win for Obama. Would Cantor make a play to oust Boehner?

    A commenter on another site pointed out that if the votes were there to send back an amended bill, it would be on its way back, and that Cantor made his first power play and failed.

  48. 48
    Linda Featheringill says:

    @Brachiator: #42

    Would Cantor make a play to oust Boehner?

    Who knows? I can’t read him. Remind me to never play poker with him.

  49. 49
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Brachiator:

    Baud beat me to it, but in order to get to 218 with the current House, they would need to round up a minimum of 25 Republicans to vote with the Democrats (and that’s assuming that every single Democrat votes for it), but only 8 Republicans lost their seats in 2012.

    Knowing Nancy Pelosi, if it does come down to a recorded vote (rather than a voice vote with its plausible deniability), she’s going to require Boehner to deliver more votes than that before she releases her folks.

  50. 50
    redshirt says:

    Gosh! So waiting for Palin’s astute take on this. Let me try and guess:

    “Greta, this is another example of the arrogance and lack of freedom from which Obama leads the Democrats to spit in the eyes of the American people who are the reason we have a Constitution and the Founding Fathers blessed us with liberty to stop hustling power grabs like Obama and the Democrat Party….”

  51. 51
    redshirt says:

    @Mnemosyne: My “whip count” says there’s 40-50 Repubs who will vote yes.

    Unless Rush gets on the air ASAP.

  52. 52
    Cacti says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Oh for fucks sake, if praising a governor for doing his fucking job during a crisis equates to “throwing his panties” at someone then we are doomed as a fucking nation

    And if “praising a governor for doing his fucking job during a crisis” was the same thing as “ZOMG I saw Chris Christie on the Daily Show and every dem should be very afraid of this straight talking juggernaut”…

    You might have a point.

  53. 53
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Cacti:
    @Brachiator:

    I don’t think Cantor has the votes to do it, but I’d be curious to see if Ryan makes a run at it. That would be high comedy indeed.

  54. 54
    dmsilev says:

    @Brachiator:

    Would Cantor make a play to oust Boehner?

    Yond Cassius Cantor has a lean and hungry look.

    (you did say ‘a play’…)

  55. 55
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    Au contraire: the teabagger caucus want the people with actual responsibility to be ones they can oppose. If Cantor took over the gavel, then he’d be in the same position as Boehner within months.

    @pseudonymous in nc: Within days, not months. Cantor’s very popular but he’s also – and I mean these words literally – an idiot. As in “very, very stupid.” He’s not got what it takes to lead effectively at all, and it will be open season on the House leadership positions if Boehner’s ousted. FWIW I think Cantor’s well aware of this, and doesn’t want the current situation changed at all.

  56. 56
    efgoldman says:

    @pseudonymous in nc:

    If Cantor took over the gavel, then he’d be in the same position as Boehner within months.

    I think this is probably so. While Cantor sees himself as leader of the TeaHadis, the key part of that is “Leader.” That means an actual interest in governing (this is Orange Julius’ problem, too.) The caucus, meanwhile, more or less believe the same things, but they don’t understand the actual political process. They mostly came out of state legislatures where the entire state government was GOBP; compromise was not in their vocabulary. They just ran roughshod over any opposition, which is their preferred method of “governing.” (see: Michigan, town manager law.)
    DC doesn’t work like that.

  57. 57
    Mnemosyne says:

    @redshirt:

    Rush isn’t going to block it. The big money boys have spoken, and they want the Republicans to stop dicking around and pass this fucking thing already.

  58. 58
    Mike in NC says:

    @Raven: Hah. When we were deployed to the Persian Gulf in the mid-80’s the crew of a Royal Navy destroyer came out and mooned us on the 4th of July. Good times.

  59. 59
    scav says:

    @redshirt: bit too heavy on the comprehensible boilerplate. hit youself with a store bought moose a few times, crawl into a salad spinner until you can see the USSR from the set of dancing with the fifth graders, wrap yourself in a stars and bars polar bear pelt , wink while standing on expense account jimmy choos and don’t forget to mention the importance of live concealed carry.

  60. 60
    gbear says:

    I’ll bet that Michele Bachmann doesn’t vote or votes present.

  61. 61
    mk3872 says:

    Putting the mocking of Halperin aside for a moment …

    How silly is it that the GOP is now demanding budget cuts ???

    The deal that Obama was trying to get their House majority leader to agree to had SS growth cuts baked into it with chained CPI!!

    Instead, they are going to sign onto the same deal (tax increases) without the entitlement cuts?

    Good lord, what losers.

  62. 62
    Raven says:

    @Mike in NC: They get to drink onboard!

    well, until 1970 anyway

  63. 63
    BGinCHI says:

    Halperin needs a nickname.

    How about The Giant Asshole.

  64. 64
    Rosie Outlook says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: We probably are doomed as a fucking nation, but I still want to congratulate you on that fucking righteous rant.

  65. 65
    redshirt says:

    @scav: Thanks for the tips! Back to the meth pipe so I can perfect my Palin technique.

  66. 66
    Mike in NC says:

    @Raven: I went aboard British, Dutch, and Canadian ships in the 80’s and they all had beer vending machines, plus what was served in the wardroom for the officers.

  67. 67
    Gravenstone says:

    @Raven: Some of the most inventive invective I’ve ever been privileged to hear came from the lips of a Limey.

  68. 68
    Arundel says:

    Halperin is allegedly a journalist, right? (An utter hack full-of-shit one, but.)

    If he’s so interested why doesn’t he do some reporting, and maybe fucking call them and ask them? Or is that just something reporters in old 1940’s movies do? Not that I give a fvck about what those cretins think, but this is the state of our hack press these days. Actual reporting takes work, so much easier to Tweet an idle, stupid question. That flatters some of the worst, non-elected jerks in the world. Halperin is truly a hack’s hack, he is the worst.

  69. 69
    Jeff(the other one) says:

    @dmsilev: I think that was his play and it failed. If he had the votes to amend the Senate bill, that would be tantamount to killing it, and it would tell Boehner by extension that Cantor had the votes for Speaker.

  70. 70
    Gin & Tonic says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    we chose

    Your choice of pronoun here vs your other rant is instructive.

  71. 71
    Jeff(the other one) says:

    @Arundel: Halperin is perhaps the single most useless waste of space in Washington. There is nothing that he has gotten right over the past 8 years, and that would include his name.

  72. 72
    Brachiator says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    Knowing Nancy Pelosi, if it does come down to a recorded vote (rather than a voice vote with its plausible deniability), she’s going to require Boehner to deliver more votes than that before she releases her folks.

    Pelosi certainly knows how to count the votes before letting legislation be considered. The same cannot be said for Boehner.

    Looks like we are heading for a straight up or down vote, after some bloviating speeches are done, giving both Democrats and Republicans some cover.

  73. 73
    Mandalay says:

    @Arundel:

    If he’s so interested why doesn’t he do some reporting, and maybe fucking call them and ask them?

    Caller ID makes that approach futile for Halperin.

  74. 74
    Arundel says:

    @Jeff(the other one): He is truly awful.

    I just always remember the press conference that occured after Joe Biden said he supported marriage equality for gay people (but before the President said he agreed, the next day or so). Halperin was just so weirdly nasty to Jay Carney, there was practically spittle flying out his mouth, demanding to know whether Obama agreed. He had this angry look on his rat-face, and his tone was this 7th grade taunting : Is the President some sort of homo-lover or something? It was something, that made me go from just considering him a pathetic hack to activally disliking Halperin.

    Of course he has another Gossip Girl book in the works about the 2012 elections, called “Double Down”, which means absolutely nothing and it will be terrible. And he will be rewarded and HBO will do a movie and oh God the unfairness of this cruel world never stops…

    (Off-topic aside: Been watching HBO’s reruns of Veep with Julia Louis-Dreyfus, enjoying them immensely. Very funny, she’s a great comic actress, and the DC lunacy is so ripe for satire. )

  75. 75
    Mandalay says:

    @Jeff(the other one):

    Halperin is perhaps the single most useless waste of space in Washington.

    Though not as much of an outright asshole as Halperin, my vote goes to John King. His ability to spew four hundred words of drivel a minute and never ever say anything worthwhile, insightful, or even contentious, is incredible.

    In terms of being a useless waste of space he takes some beating.

  76. 76
    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.) says:

    @The Dangerman: I suspect that Santo refers to Santorum. I fondly remember Ron though, along with Ernie, Billy Williams, and Joe Pepitone. (Mom was from Chicago.)

    Rat… upon reading more comments, I see someone has already supplied an answer. Sorry for being repetitive!

  77. 77
    West of the Rockies (formerly Frank W.) says:

    @redshirt: Strong effort, redshirt! Ah, but what would Dennis Miller or Rush or Sean say in response? I’ll give a go with Miller: “Well, you’re right, babe, that Obama cat is flushing our hard-fought freedoms down the loo like he’s Charlie Sheen tossin’ finskies at a stripper!”

  78. 78
    Ruckus says:

    @Mandalay:
    Nice. Cold. But nice. And deserved.

  79. 79
  80. 80
    fourmorewars says:

    Um, you wanna know what future historians will say about us? I’m afraid all they’re gonna say about us is that we’re the blind, ham-handed fools/assholes who allowed a shitload of priceless Mesopotamian artifacts to be destroyed during a petulant, ultimately meaningless little military misadventure.

  81. 81
    rachel says:

    @dmsilev: The next bit of that quote goes, “He thinks too much.”

    Heh.

  82. 82
    El Cid says:

    @fourmorewars: We were just part of that beautiful historical process by which old cities are destroyed and buried by the new chaos, and eventually to be rediscovered. Why, think of how much work the archaeologists will have trying to reconstruct early 21st century Baghdad life via the tiny bits jumbled up between current ruins and ancient ruins!

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