Thursday Evening Open Thread: Willard Expects

Because there are some indulgences that can’t be resisted, I share. Mr. Charles P. Pierce indulges in a victory tap-dance on the corpse of the Romney family’s ambitions:

“He wanted to be president less than anyone I’ve met in my life. He had no desire… to run. If he could have found someone else to take his place… he would have been ecstatic to step aside…(Willard) is a very private person who loves his family deeply and wants to be with them. He loves his country, but he doesn’t love the attention.”

Now, ever since this quote hit the papers, young Tagg has been the subject of much mockery and ridicule, and suggestions that he join that nice Mr. Aesop in the Produce section, over by the grapes. It has been hinted that Tagg has the same largely accidental relationship with the truth that his father so vividly demonstrated over the five years in which he pursued the job he really didn’t want anyway. I choose to believe Tagg Romney entirely. Willard Romney didn’t want to be president. Willard Romney expected to be president, and that was his real undoing.

It has been years, probably, since Willard had to go to all the emotional fuss and bother of actually wanting something. If there was something that caught his eye — a slow-moving company’s fat pension fund, a nice house in La Jolla, the governor’s office in Massachusetts — there would be a deal to be struck and whatever it was that should be his would be his. This is not a man who tolerates disappointment well, not because he burns with ambition and avarice — although he profited for years from very effective simulacrums of ambition and avarice –but, rather, because he rarely has experienced disappointment in his life. He does not want. He expects….

Also to be savored, the japester who visited LGM’s comment section:

My friends, those of you who are parents can certainly appreciate the enthusiasm with which your children might rise to your defense and the defense of the vast monies and business contacts they stand to inherit. All five of our boys–Tagg, Nog, Zip, Korg, and Biff–are good boys, despite their near-pathological habit of lying to me at each and every turn. But I wanted to take this opportunity to speak to you all here, at my favorite blog of the 47% who are unstoppably bound to government largesse, and explain what Tagg meant…

Let me be clear: Tagg was speaking as to my desire to be elected President in this election only. In full candor, in 2008 I had absolutely determined that the Office of the Presidency was both the right height and the right magnitude in order to be filled by a person such as myself…

At any rate, my friends, when the Republican electorate saw fit to pass me over in favor of the older, but no whiter and substantially less wealthy, John McCain, I still maintained an enthusiasm for the possibility of running again four years later. Indeed, I began to hear from Corporation-Americans across this nation, speaking to me, and not in the usual “Please don’t dismember us and cut out our organs and sell the parts off to the highest bidder before dumping our shattered bodies into some overseas sex trade sewer!” way that I had become accustomed to hearing from them while I was at Bain. No, my friends, these corporations were large corporations, good corporations, and they were in pain. A…stain, if you will, had blotted the office of the Presidency, um, darkening it, as it were, and our country’s outlook seemed, uh, blacker by the…OK, they’re telling me I should just stop this here. I’m sure you get the idea….

64 replies
  1. 1
    David in NY says:

    I hadn’t read that LGM comment all the way to the end before — priceless.

  2. 2
    General Stuck says:

    Mitt Romney, photographed during a recent business trip

  3. 3
    MattF says:

    Pierce also writes about not-President Romney’s one unfailing ability– to make people dislike him. The Presidential campaign lasted long enough for people to get to know Mitt Romney– and that was quite enough.

  4. 4
    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn says:

    All five of our boys–Tagg, Nog, Zip, Korg, and Biff–are good boys, despite their near-pathological habit of lying to me at each and every turn.

    It was at this point my co-workers realized I was not presently actually working…

  5. 5
    burnspbesq says:

    R.I.P., Fontella Bass. For a month in 1965, she was bigger than the Beatles and the Stones combined.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJmz7UJK_CY

  6. 6
    Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin) says:

    Romney’s ambition was public service. He had no designs, other than sacrificing his own vital bodily fluids for the Body Politic, American Exceptionalism and the Angel Meroni (not necessarily in that order)

  7. 7
    The Dangerman says:

    He had no desire … to run.

    Actually, there may be a kernel of truth there; he didn’t want to run, he just wanted to be President.

  8. 8
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    His old man never wanted the job, but he deserved it

    This is a solvable problem.

    All we need is another country somewhere whose leadership Mitt does deserve. I’m thinking of something along the lines of a small autonomous anarcho-syndicalist commune located on the dark side of the Moon, where they have biweekly meetings to discuss whose turn it is next to stay up all night standing watch by the airlocks with a taser, a pair of handcuffs and a ball gag, just in case anybody wakes up in the middle of the night feeling like they can’t take it anymore and decides to let the communal supply of oxygen run free out into the lunar atmosphere.

    That’s about what Mitt deserves. Let him lead that.

  9. 9
    quannlace says:

    I’m always struck by the difference in just the voice between Romney of the 47% video and Romney in campaign mode. In the former, his voice is calm, business-like and totally natural. In the latter, no matter which ‘little people’ he’s trying to connect with, it’s always awkward, stilted and punctuated with phony chuckles. It was the ‘running’ for President that Romeny would have given anything to outsource.

  10. 10
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    OK, they’re telling me I should just stop this here. I’m sure you get the idea….

    I’m sure the sheriff is getting nearer…

  11. 11
    SteveinSC says:

    Fortunately not even the republicans wanted the transparent pendejo. Let the curse of Morning Meadows follow the son-of-a-bitch the rest of his life.

  12. 12
    cathyx says:

    God told Mitt to run. He wouldn’t have done if God didn’t want it. God just didn’t want him to win. Thank God.

  13. 13
    cathyx says:

    I’m glad that God isn’t on the list of words putting one in moderation.

  14. 14
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @SteveinSC:

    I think you mean Mountain Meadows.

  15. 15
    SteveinSC says:

    @Villago Delenda Est: Right sorry. OT I saw on Huffpo that the Indian girl, gang-raped, has committed suicide.

  16. 16
    PaulW says:

    Based on Tagg’s admission, and based on the outward evidence of Mitt Romney’s campaign, I really believe Mitt would have been a Passive-Negative type of President had he won. And in this day and age when an Active-Positive type is needed, that would have been disastrous.

  17. 17
    Elie says:

    Romney ran as a unicorn against the idea of Darwin — that another population could adapt more effectively to facts of existence — to scientific reality. YAY! He can’t make unicorns be our existence….he can only put on his long underwear, disparage women and “mud people” and go home to sulk.

    Footnote: It is so telling, that of all the national catastrophes and grief experienced in the last few weeks, no one in his family or his “group” has had the integrity and spiritual holism to even express any sorrow or regret. So very telling of who he REALLY is. May they all wear their long underwear into eternity — with the shit flaps over their faces.

  18. 18
    debbie says:

    @ SteveinSC:

    This morning they said they put her back on a respirator. She’s never seemed recovered enough to try suicide, but who knows. You can’t even believe the news anymore.

    As for Tagg, what pisses me off is that the lies are so stupid and obvious. Not even a block of wood would fall for them.

  19. 19
    RSA says:

    “He wanted to be president less than anyone I’ve met in my life. He had no desire…”

    My first thought on reading this a few days ago was, “Wow, Romney must be a real shit.” Imagine a position opening up at work, a promotion that you apply for even though you don’t want it. You don’t just go for the new position–you tell lies about other people in the running, you try to stir up bigotry about them, you puff up your past performance… What kind of person would do that for a job he didn’t really want?

  20. 20
    Bill T. says:

    It is not coincidental that the presidential candidate with ‘no desire to run’ was a member of the political party that has ‘no desire to govern.’

  21. 21
    Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin) says:

    Harbinger of our own fiscal troubles…?

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fin.....owing.html

  22. 22
    Elizabelle says:

    Charles Pierce has had some good columns this week.

    A Plague Upon One House

    About dysfunctional Boehner and Cantor-land

    What you see now in the House is a generation of elected officials raised in the fundamental absurdity of that kind of thinking, members of Congress who believe that the best way to keep faith with the people who elected them is to not do the job the people back home elected them to do. “That government is best which governs least,” is a bromide that these people have turned into an iron syllogism. If that government is best which governs least, then the best possible government is that which governs not at all …

    This isn’t checks and balances. This isn’t an exercise in protecting the rights of a legislative minority, which is supposed to be the point of checks and balances in the first place. This is enforced paralysis at the behest of a leaderless, rogue majority, and the financial powers behind it. It is a dangerous collision between an impotent leadership and fanatics who will not be led, by anyone, towards anything. Once you’ve convinced yourself that the worst thing you can do for your country is to do your job.

    Read more: A Plague Upon One House – Esquire http://www.esquire.com/blogs/p.....z2GIdOPoTD

  23. 23
    Fred says:

    @Debbie Tag is just a chip off the old block.
    “Tag”? Where do these people come up with these names?

  24. 24
    Shrillhouse says:

    Well, Mitt really dodged a bullet there. He had a one in two chance of getting elected president (ok, so Nate Silver might quibble with me about those odds). Thank goodness neither the country or Mitt Romney himself had to endure his presidency. Thank goodness ACORN and the New Black Panthers were able to steal the election again.

  25. 25
    shortstop says:

    The rest of us understand that you can’t always get what you want. It was Mitt and Ann’s first introduction to the concept.

  26. 26
    NotMax says:

    In TaggWorld, Caesar had no desire to cross the Rubicon, he had to be double dog dared to.

  27. 27
    Chris says:

    It has been years, probably, since Willard had to go to all the emotional fuss and bother of actually wanting something. If there was something that caught his eye — a slow-moving company’s fat pension fund, a nice house in La Jolla, the governor’s office in Massachusetts — there would be a deal to be struck and whatever it was that should be his would be his. This is not a man who tolerates disappointment well, not because he burns with ambition and avarice — although he profited for years from very effective simulacrums of ambition and avarice –but, rather, because he rarely has experienced disappointment in his life. He does not want. He expects….

    This about sums it up.

    Would that this sort of thinking were just Mitt Romney rather than a generalized 1%er problem.

  28. 28
    mdblanche says:

    @General Stuck: This makes me very angry. Very angry indeed.

  29. 29
    onlymike says:

    OT but I’ve posted already in what turned to be dead or dying threads: I’ve called the VA – I’m now awaiting a callback to give me my mental health options. So, while I feel better about having called, I have a kind of in-limbo feeling. But I feel better having called. There’s some sense of relief. As I explained in the two previous (likely unread) comments – I don’t understand the tension I was feeling about calling but I kept putting it off and putting it off and was still putting it off today – was going to call later in the day – and then I just did it. Almost as if it was on impulse – not something I had planned to do and postponed. Anyway, again, a sense of relief.

    Also, since I was late to the party on the thread about what we’d like to see covered: I’d like to see some discussion of the lawsuit Michael Mann filed against National Review. I’d especially like to hear from the legally knowledgeable and the scientifically knowledgeable on this. There’s a lot of very smart people here and this seems like it would be interesting. Anyone agree?

    Oh and Charles Pierce rocks!

  30. 30
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @SteveinSC:

    Ah Jeez. Ah shit. That’s incredibly sad.

  31. 31
    PeakVT says:

    @Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin): No. Go get yourself a clue, m’kay?

  32. 32
    Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin) says:

    @PeakVT:

    And a clue would include what?

  33. 33
    Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin) says:

    @Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin):

    You know, the reflexive thinkers would do well not to jump to conclusions; unless that is your raison d’etre...

  34. 34
    Redshift says:

    @onlymike: I know what you mean. I have that about way too many things — there’s something I should do, like making a phone call, and it’s not even terribly unpleasant, but I just have a really hard time making myself do it. (I know I’m in trouble if I find myself doing chores that I’ve been putting off to avoid making that call.) And when I finally do it, it feels a lot better, even if not much happens immediately.

    Our brains are designed to keep reminding us of things we haven’t done, and there’s no effective snooze button. Once you take something off that list, a bit of that weight is lifted.

  35. 35
    Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin) says:

    PeakVT is what, peak pique?

  36. 36
    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn says:

    @Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin): Actually, I work in the home-builder lending side of the banking world, have access to all sorts of trades, and I can tell you that things here in the States are looking good. 2012 was the strongest year in all-too-many, and 2013 is looking even better. Yes, there are still an above-average number (historically) of repos to slough off, but their effect on supply and pricing isn’t anywhere near what they were. Obviously, some parts of the country are faring better than others, but for the most part, we’re in an upswing. Hell, they’re even hiring in my department – that’s really big news (I’m in the PNW). Plus, the bank I work for is heavy into the mortgage origination market, and they are total bullish on that.

    (PeakVT: ???)

  37. 37
    Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin) says:

    @Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn:

    I assume you’re talking about new housing starts. How are durable goods doing?

    Existing home sales? My thinking is that the exacerbation is delayed in US markets, behind the European. But your input is encouraging.

  38. 38
    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn says:

    @Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin): Yes, I’m speaking strictly of the housing market. And new homes don’t get built if existing homes are being sold. Here in the PNW, many counties are seeing new-home supplies at about the 2.5- to 5-month range, which is considered quite healthy.

    Spain is in a WHOLE ‘nother ball of giant hurt that doesn’t really reflect what’s happening or is expected to happen here.

  39. 39
    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn says:

    [Bloody hell, why am I in moderation purgatory? Let me try this again]

    @Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin): Yes, I’m speaking strictly of the housing market. And new homes don’t get built if existing homes aren’t being sold. Here in the PNW, many counties are seeing new-home supplies at about the 2.5- to 5-month range, which is considered quite healthy.

    Spain is in a WHOLE ‘nother ball of giant hurt that doesn’t reflect what’s happening or is expected to happen here.

  40. 40
    Ruckus says:

    @onlymike:
    Good for you.
    You have taken the next step. When they call back, and they will, take the next one. You will feel better.

  41. 41
    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism says:

    @SteveinSC: Some of the reporters appear to be confused, but that’s a different girl. The victim whose assault triggered the protests is 23 and now in a Singapore hospital in ‘extremely critical’ condition. The girl who committed suicide was 17, and the police refused to open an inquiry.

  42. 42
    Linda Featheringill says:

    @onlymike: #29

    And when you get to talk to a real person at the VA, bring up your housing situation. The VA has heard it before and they won’t be shocked. They also have people who work on such difficulties and can help you look for solutions.

  43. 43
    dr. luba says:

    @debbie: Different gang rape girl. This one was trying to get the perps prosecuted, but local police would not file charges, urging her to come to a financial agreement with the rapists, or marry one of them. She chose oral pesticide instead.

    Rape is all too common in India, underreported, underprosecuted and underpenalized. The Delhi rape (that you were referring to) has caused protests and more open dialogue. We’ll see if anything comes of it.

  44. 44
    Gretchen says:

    @onlymike: I totally get that. Some friends were telling me I needed to call a family therapist to help us deal with our son. They gave me a name of someone who helped a friend and her family. I kept getting the number in my email, put off calling, and next time I looked I found I had “accidentally” deleted the woman’s name and number again. This happened 3 or 4 times, and I had to keep asking for it again, until I finally got up the courage to make the appointment and go. She turned out to be really warm and understanding. I hope you have the same experience now that you’ve found the courage to make the call. I think there’s an element of “if I call, I might be disappointed, while if I don’t call, I can keep thinking that help is only a phone call away as soon as I make the call”. I had high hopes, and didn’t want to be disappointed, so I kept putting it off so I could maintain my high hopes. But she turned out to be good, and I really, really hope it works the same for you. Keep us posted!

  45. 45
    MazeDancer says:

    @onlymike:

    Way to go! This is such good news you made the call!

    And like Linda Featheringill says, absolutely tell the VA your housing situation. They do have resources.

  46. 46
    Gretchen says:

    @dr. luba: That’s really shocking that the mindset still exists today that the only problem with rape is that it happened between unmarried people, so the solution is to get them to marry. I can’t even get my mind around that idea, that it would help things to marry someone who brutally violated you.

  47. 47
    Ohio Mom says:

    @onlymike: Hooray for you and thanks for letting us know you made the call. Here’s hoping it’s all downhill from here.

    Have to admit I’ve never heard of this Michael Mann/National Review kerfuffle. Guess it’s off to the google.

  48. 48
    Jebediah says:

    Just want to savor the serendipity – when I opened this thread there were 47 comments. The thread was just the right height.

    ETA: and now I have ruined the perfect 47-ness.

  49. 49
    WaterGirl says:

    @dr. luba:

    Different gang rape girl.

    Well, that’s a sad statement if I’ve ever seen one.

    Reminds me of what one of the baldwin brothers said, that you know your party is in trouble when someone asks if the rape guy won, and you have to ask which one.

    It’s also bad when there are so many mass-murderers with these automatic weapons that you start to confuse them.

    Some things have gone terribly wrong in our world.

  50. 50
    WaterGirl says:

    @onlymike: Calling is a really big deal. I hope you feel really good about that. It’s a big step forward. So happy for you that you did it.

  51. 51
    Jebediah says:

    @onlymike:
    Good for you for calling. It took me forever to take any steps to deal with depression, and I wish I had acted much, much sooner. But I remember how hard it was for me to take a first step, so congratulations on getting things rolling.

  52. 52
    Ohio Mom says:

    @onlymike: I’m not a scientist or an attorney, so I can’t speak to any details about this case* — Interesting that (based on my limited googling) it’s getting much more attention among conservatives than us — They can dish it out but they sure can’t take it. Whole thing was good for a chuckle. Hope Mann wins and the National Review goes broke fighting him.

    * For anyone new to this, The National Review pointed out that climate scientist Michael Mann (who shared the Nobel with Gore) hails from Penn State so Hah, hah, he’s just like Jerry Sandusky. Mann is now sueing for libel.

  53. 53
    opie_jeanne says:

    @Machine-Gun Preacher (formerly Ben Franklin): Studly Pantload is right

    Some areas in Europe built overbuilt the demand for new houses by so much that there are now two houses for every family. Spain could be one of them. The bankers did the same thing in Ireland and elsewhere that they did here because it was a boom and everyone was going to get rich or something. There was a book that everyone in Ireland was reading, we saw it everywhere we went, about what the banking industry had done to destroy the economy. This fall there was a somewhat similar book in Iceland about how Iceland dealt with their own bankers who had done the same thing there.

  54. 54
    onlymike says:

    @Ohio Mom: That was one of the things that frustrated me about it – I first read about it at TBogg’s and while it was high-quality snark (of course) when I googled to read more about it everything that comes up seems to be from the right wing blogs – generally stuff along the lines of “Ha, Mann took the bait!” I’d really like to see one of the Front Pagers take this on.

    BTW While the parsing of the word “fraudulent” was good I especially love that National Review has to point out to it’s readers that they actually are a for-profit organization they just never make a profit. The invisible hand of the free market strikes again!

  55. 55
    onlymike says:

    @Gretchen: That fear of dissapointment does have a lot to do with it. I know there’s no magic cure but I do believe I can be helped. As people have told me – small steps. If I think of everything I have to do to make my life liveable it seems insurmountable. But if I just focus on one thing at a time I should be able to do it. I don’t think I would take my own life but I had reached the point where I didn’t want to go on. Even though I’m still awaiting the call, the gentleman I spoke to was very helpful. As he pointed out there’s a difference between wanting to, as I put it “go to sleep and not wake up” and actually contemplating suicide. I already knew that but for some reason it felt good to hear someone else say that.

  56. 56
    onlymike says:

    And once again I want to thank everyone in the Balloon Juice community. It really does make a difference knowing that you’re pulling for me.

  57. 57
    General Stuck says:

    @mdblanche:

    Really? Why?

  58. 58
    Triassic Sands says:

    So, Romney didn’t want to be president.

    It’s truly amazing that someone who didn’t want the job would lie (as in prevaricate) more to get it than any presidential candidate in living memory.

    If he’d actually wanted the job, I wonder how many people he would have been willing to kill to get it? Ten million? Fifty?

    Maybe he would have used some restraint and limited himself to selling California, Oregon, Washington, New York, Massachusetts, and Hawaii to China.

    I’m beginning to think I’m going to have to die to escape hearing or seeing his name mentioned. Eventually, that may seem like a small price to pay…

    Gawd, I despise that POS.

  59. 59
    Rich (In Name Only) in Reno says:

    Mister Willard Expected (with apologies to Cole Porter)

    Mister Willard expected he’d be in the White House today, Madam.
    Mister Willard expected he’d be in the White House today.
    He was certain he’d be elected today,
    For a down payment on new carpets he’d paid,
    Madam.
    Mister Willard expected he’d be in the White House today

    When he was told that the scheme of Karl Rove had gone wrong.
    Madam.
    He tore up the acceptance speech he’d worked on so long.
    Then he stopped all the credit cards,
    And pulled the Romney/Ryan signs from his yard,
    Madam.
    Mister Willard expected he’d be in the White House today.

    Then he cried it was all colored people’s fault he’d failed,
    Madam,
    He replied they’d been bribed to vote so his foe prevailed.
    And because of that 47%,
    Down the rat hole went all the dough that he’d spent,
    Madam.
    Mister Willard expected he’d be in the White House today

    Yes, Mister Willard expected he’d be in the White House today.

  60. 60
    Trinity says:

    Charlie Pierce is an American Treasure.

  61. 61
    Town says:

    Mitt Romney’s whole campaign strategy was “I’m White, I’m a Real American, vote for me.” It didn’t work in 2008 (Palin) and it didn’t work in 2012. Go back to 1972 and try again.

  62. 62
    Tone in DC says:

    @mdblanche:

    LULz.

    No pity for RMoney, his clan or their affiliates. I am only slightly surprised that the M$M keeps putting microphones in front of these people.

  63. 63
    stinger says:

    @onlymike: Good for you! That first step is truly the hardest. Everything following will be a little easier, if only a little.

  64. 64
    stinger says:

    @onlymike: Yep, been there. And you’re right — try not to think about everything that needs to be done. Find one doable thing, and do it. Then take a deep breath, and a moment to feel good about yourself, and find another one doable thing.

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