The Holiday For the Rest Of Us

Happy Festivus, everyone:


I almost forgot, as gridiron realities and the Steelers sixteen weeks of sustained suck had me preoccupied.

108 replies
  1. 1
    Tom The First says:

    Boy, Seinfeld sure was funny.

  2. 2
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    Aw, poor Steelers fan.

    Nothing personal, John. But when I hear Steelers (or Giants or Patriots) fans moan about how bad their team is, I stop listening. You guys have had plenty of glory in recent years.

  3. 3
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    @Tom The First:

    Actually no it wasn’t, it was utterly juvenile. (Unless that was snark of course in which case I agree with you).

  4. 4
    redshirt says:

    Did Festivus yesterday with Wingnut Dad – who y’all might recall cancelled it after “That One” won. He rallied though, no doubt due to familial pressure. Everyone was supposed to come to my place, though, and I prepared for this. And then the day before I hear from my Sister that “oh yeah, we’re having it at her place”. Colonel Wingnut couldn’t even call me to tell me. The loser.

    I pinned him.

  5. 5
    redshirt says:

    FYI: NYC, weather wise, is like the deep South to me. Boston is South. Heck, Portland ME is the near South.

    Too far North – 3:55PM sunsets, 7:15 Sunrises.

    Bring on Krampus!

  6. 6
    pat says:

    This is creepy. I just spent the better part of the afternoon sending online donations to various humanitarian organizations, and now I’m seeing ads for exactly those orgs on this website. Oxfam, Doctors w/o Borders… Is this showing up for anyone else?

  7. 7
    Mr Stagger Lee says:


  8. 8
    gogol's wife says:

    I don’t like the new trolls. That’s my grievance.

  9. 9
    aangus says:



  10. 10
    JWL says:

    You’re spoiled, that’s all. If you want a bona fide example of “sustained suck by an NFL team”, look no further that the San Francisco 49ers in the first decade of the 21st century. Or [insert favorite loser]. The Steelers have been walking in tall cotton for so long that you began to take their bad ass teams for granted.

  11. 11
  12. 12
    Cacti says:


    look no further that the San Francisco 49ers in the first decade of the 21st century

    I’ll see your 49ers and raise you a Washington Redskins.

  13. 13
  14. 14
    redshirt says:

    @JWL: A 49’ers fan crying? C’mon! You should still be resting fine on laurels.

  15. 15
    pat says:

    OK, I guess it’s because I gave my email address and BJ has it too, but I still find it a bit creepy.

  16. 16
    Raven says:

    @Spaghetti Lee: Bear Down!

  17. 17
    Linda Featheringill says:


    Your Wingnut Dad:

    It’s interesting to watch a little over half of the country welcome Obama with open arms while the rest of the folks are struggling to forgive him for existing. It ain’t easy.

  18. 18
    Mr Stagger Lee says:

    @efgoldman: Hah, try the Cleveland Browns 2.0. May the FSM roast Art Modell the netherworld and Randy Lerner when he assumes room temperature.

  19. 19
  20. 20
    Violet says:

    That’s a pay phone in that photo. I feel old.

  21. 21
    Alison says:

    @pat: No, that’s how Google Ads work. You see ads often based on your web history, even if you just went to the site and left without entering any info. Not really spooky, just typical web tracking.

  22. 22
    Or something like that.Suffern Ace says:

    @efgoldman: Really? They made three Super Bowl appearances before then. If you want bad, I’d go with Cardinals, who are really like the Clippers of the NFL. They are only good long enough for the owners to get afraid of having to give a raise to a player.

  23. 23
    aangus says:

    Meet the New Trolls,
    They’re the same as the Old Trolls.

  24. 24
    gogol's wife says:


    I think it’s really spooky, but I guess it’s the price we pay.

  25. 25
    Alison says:

    @gogol’s wife: Eh, I know I’m an outlier on this among communities like ours, but it just really doesn’t bother me. Big deal, they know I went to and B&N. I just can’t really get that worried about it when I don’t see what harm it does. It’s not like they have access to your medical files or something…but I know for some folks it’s just the principle of privacy.

  26. 26
    Baud says:

    Via TPM

    Sen. Michael Crapo (R-ID) was arrested last night just after midnight in Alexandria, Virginia for driving under the influence. According to police statements to CBS news, Patch and WTOP, Crapo failed multiple field sobriety tests and was arrested without incident.

    Why wasn’t he home in Idaho?

  27. 27
    redshirt says:

    @Linda Featheringill: I mention my Father not simply because of his recent actions, but his recent conversion. He’s always been Conservative (in the “I ain’t paying any more taxes” variety. No guns or religion or social issues), but something happened over the past 4 years (though I suspect more like 2) where he’s gone Full Wingnut, casually dropping “Solyandra” and “Fast n’ Furious” into unrelated conversations.

    For example, he handled Obama’s 2008 election just fine. I even tried to get him to vote Obama, and he listened, but didn’t. 2012 and he’s a near-suicidal mess.

    It seems representative of an overall national trend. Otherwise sane Conservatives have turned crazy, and the Crazies have gotten even crazier. It’s disturbing on many levels.

  28. 28
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @Mr Stagger Lee: Cleveland always stinks. It’s astounding. It’s like my Philadelphia Phillies, who had like two good years between 1915 and 1977.

  29. 29
    Raven says:

    I’ll drop the baby off at school at nine,
    And bust the lights to get to work on time.
    Where I’ll be staring at the clock just waiting to knock off another day.
    When supper’s done we’ll watch some TV show,
    Of a bunch of folks who’ve never heard of Idaho,
    Where easy’s gettin’ harder every day.

    I had a garden but my flowers died.
    There ain’t much living here inside.
    Lately, I don’t know what I’m holding on to.
    Wished I could run away to Couer d’Alene,
    Take nothing with me, not even my name.
    Cause easy’s gettin’ harder every day.

  30. 30
    redshirt says:

    @Baud: LOL. “Crapo”. Sure!

  31. 31
    Hill Dweller says:

    Forgive me if this has been covered, but it looks like Sen. Crapo(Republican Mormon) decided to get behind the wheel after celebrating the holidays a bit too much. The police, who apparently were in the giving mood, charged him with DUI.

  32. 32
    Baud says:

    I can’t believe you people believe that there is an NFL team that historically has had more sustained suck than the Saints.

  33. 33
    amk says:

    @Baud: Chasing some tail ? DUI & adultery would be a feather in his mormon cap.

  34. 34
    redshirt says:

    @efgoldman: I still harbor a grudge against Pete Carroll for wasting the Patriots talent in the late 90’s. That team was poised to be a dynasty – with Drew Bledsoe! – and Carroll pissed it away.

  35. 35
    Raven says:

    @redshirt: My old man went south (so to speak) when Arizona was denied the Superbowl because they refused the King Holiday. He saw incredible injustice in it because other states had done so and not gotten sanctioned. He was always a right-winger but it turned him into an embarrassing racist. Really sucked.

  36. 36
  37. 37
    Corner Stone says:

    Vernon Davis just got lit the fuck up like Rockefeller Center at Christmas.

  38. 38
    redshirt says:

    @Corner Stone: “Jack’d Up”, you mean? You’re not supposed to cheer for that anymore – MEMO from the League.

  39. 39
    Hill Dweller says:

    @efgoldman: A lot of the Senate, including Sen. Reid, was in Hawaii today for Sen. Inouye’s funeral.

  40. 40
    Corner Stone says:

    @Baud: I never understand this. I’m 100% with Atrios on this. Having a driver, calling a towncar, getting a cab, it’s all worth whatever fee that costs that one freakin evening. Pay $200 to get a towncar to come get you. God forbid you hurt someone.

  41. 41
  42. 42
    Corner Stone says:

    Seattle trashing The Harbaughs. Fuck yeah!

  43. 43
    redshirt says:

    @Raven: I’ve lived in AZ, got friends in AZ right now and visited back in 2009. I love AZ on one level. On another, fuck AZ.

    Public Enemy – “By the Time I get to Arizona”
    I’m countin’ down to the day deservin’
    Fittin’ for a king
    I’m waitin’ for the time when I can
    Get to Arizona
    ‘Cause my money’s spent on
    The goddamn rent
    Neither party is mine not the
    Jackass or the elephant
    20.000 nig niggy nigas in the corner
    Of the cell block but they come
    From California
    Population none in the desert and sun
    Wit’ a gun cracker
    Runnin’ things under his thumb
    Starin’ hard at the postcards
    Isn’t it odd and unique?
    Seein’ people smile wild in the heat
    120 degree
    ‘Cause I wanna be free
    What’s a smilin’ fact
    When the whole state’s racist
    Why want a holiday F–k it ’cause I wanna
    So what if I celebrate it standin’ on a corner
    I ain’t drinkin’ no 40
    I B thinkin’ time wit’ a nine
    Until we get some land
    Call me the trigger man
    Looki lookin’ for the governor
    Huh he ain’t lovin’ ya
    But here to trouble ya
    He’s rubbin’ ya wrong
    Get the point come along

    An he can get to the joint
    I urinated on the state
    While I was kickin’ this song
    Yeah, he appear to be fair
    The cracker over there
    He try to keep it yesteryear
    The good ol’ days
    The same ol’ ways
    That kept us dyin’
    Yes, you me myself and I’ndeed
    What he need is a nosebleed
    Read between the lines
    Then you see the lie
    Politically planned
    But understand that’s all she wrote
    When we see the real side
    That hide behind the vote
    They can’t understand why he the man
    I’m singin’ ’bout a king
    They don’t like it
    When I decide to mike it
    Wait I’m waitin’ for the date
    For the man who demands respect
    ‘Cause he was great c’mon
    I’m on the one mission
    To get a politician
    To honor or he’s a gonner
    By the time I get to Arizona

    I got 25 days to do it
    If a wall in the sky
    Just watch me go thru it
    ‘Cause I gotta do what I gotta do
    PE number one
    Gets the job done
    When it’s done and over
    Was because I drove’er
    Thru all the static
    Not stick but automatic
    That’s the way it is
    He gotta get his
    Talin’ MLK
    Gonna find a way
    Make the state pay
    Lookin’ for the day
    Hard as it seems
    This ain’t no damn dream
    Gotta know what I mean
    It’s team against team
    Catch the light beam
    So I pray
    I pray everyday
    I do and praise jah the maker
    Lookin’ for culture
    I got but not here
    From jah maker
    Pushin’ and shakin’ the structure
    Bringin’ down the babylon
    Hearin’ the sucker
    That make it hard for the brown
    The hard Boulova
    I need now
    More than ever now
    Who’s sittin’ on my freedah’
    Opressor people beater
    Piece of the pick
    We picked a piece
    Of land that we deservin’ now
    Reparation a piece of the nation
    And damn he got the nerve
    Another niga they say and classify
    We want too much
    My peep plus the whole nine is mine
    Don’t think I even double dutch
    Here’s a brother my attitude hit ’em
    Hang ’em high
    Blowin’ up the 90s started tickin’ 86
    When the blind get a mind
    Better start and earn while we sing it
    There will be the day we know those down and who will go


  44. 44
    Corner Stone says:

    @redshirt: It looked like a legal hit, actually. But he got torched like his name was Crapo.

  45. 45
    Raven says:

    @redshirt: I got’s people in Tucson.

  46. 46
    aangus says:

    It would appear that the Intertubz don’t like me tonite!

  47. 47
    The Dangerman says:

    …sixteen weeks of sustained suck…

    Now, THAT’s a BJ post.

    Carrol’s enough of an asshole to try to put up a major asswhooping on SF (although, in the rain, he’d be smart to pull his starters to prevent injury).

  48. 48
    Comrade Jake says:

    The only person that can stop a bad drunk in a car is a good drunk in a car.

  49. 49
  50. 50
    Lojasmo says:


    Why wasn’t he home in Idaho?

    Better male hookers in VA, I’m told.

  51. 51
    redshirt says:

    @Raven: Me too. Love Tucson. Used to love going to Nogales, but no longer. Sad – we’ve lost cool, hip fun border Mexico. I went over like 10 times in the 90’s and always had a blast. Love the actual Mexicans! What’s going on down there now should be an outrage in America as well, but, oh yeah, not much. “Liberal Media”.

  52. 52
    redshirt says:

    @Corner Stone: “Jack’d Up!” was always legal hits. But celebrating even hard hits these days is frowned upon. Flag NFL is NIGH.

  53. 53
    A Ghost To Most says:

    All you not-buffalo bills fans have a lot to learn about suffering.

  54. 54
  55. 55
    Anya says:

    Is it bad to admit that I hate Christmas? I have hated it for years, with its consumerism and its false humanitarianism. This year the hubby and I decided to stay home and not give any gifts to each other or family, except the kids. Friday, I received a gigantic package from the
    grandparents, and I kinda feel bad for not visiting or giving them anything. My grandparents always said that the only gift they want is our visit, but I figured since I saw them two weeks ago, it won’t be so bad if I don’t visit on Christmas. Am I horrible for not going to Boston this year?

  56. 56
    Raven says:

    @redshirt: Ever go to Rocky Point? I went camping and fishing in Gyuamas in 72.

  57. 57
    Raven says:

    @Anya: No and yes.

  58. 58
    Maude says:

    No. You’re doing the right thing.

  59. 59
    Corner Stone says:


    Is it bad to admit that I hate Christmas? I have hated it for years

    Not if you’re a secret Kenyan Muslim Soci@li$t. Which we know you are.

  60. 60
    Mike in NC says:

    @Baud: I’ve never met anybody from Idaho who wasn’t a total crackpot scumbag.

  61. 61
  62. 62
    Corner Stone says:

    @Raven: I gots people South of Tucson. Top that gringo.

  63. 63
    Raven says:

    @Corner Stone: Sierra Vista?

  64. 64
    Corner Stone says:

    @The Dangerman:

    Carrol’s enough of an asshole to try to put up a major asswhooping on SF (although, in the rain, he’d be smart to pull his starters to prevent injury).

    I hope he gets the chance to rub The Harbaugh’s face right into it.

  65. 65
    Schlemizel says:

    All you whiners crying over your teams suckage should dry up.

    At one time the MN Vikings were perennial winners, Super Bowl contenders. The GM was one Jim Finks put those teams together and asked the owner to be allowed to buy 10% of the team for himself. The owner freaked & dumped him, hiring Mike Lynn, a guy who knew nothing about football.

    Mike Lynn made a deal that sent several defensive starters and draft picks to the Dallas Cowpies – who used that talent to win 2 super bowls while the vikings tanked.

    Finks went on to put together the Cubs team that made a run at the pennant and then the Saints team that was very successful and getting better before smoking killed Finks.

    Lynn made the deal for the new stadium that paid him a million dollars a year as long as the Vikings played there. And the team stunk. He also screwed the owner out of the team. There has followed a succession of morons who don’t know a first down from a down jacket trying to run the team. They once traded UP and picked a DL that was pegged to be a third round pick. They drafted an Ivy League QB that nobody thought would make it in the NFL and then stumbled along with him long after he showed conventional wisdom to be correct. They hired a coach who tried to run an Iron Man/USMC obstetrical course on the first day of practice that ended the career of their place kicker & injured several other players (Coach showed up in fatigues & a helmet for the event BTW). They babied two of the biggest assholes to ever play the game to the point it damaged the entire team who retaliated by not playing the NFC championship game. They finally got rid of the Moss only to stupidly trade to get him back & then find out he was still the useless asshole he had always been.

    And those are just some of the highlights of one of the worst run franchises in the league.

  66. 66
    Comrade Jake says:

    @Mike in NC: Really? I was just about to post the opposite. Everyone I’ve met from there is pretty nice.

  67. 67
    Ron says:

    A friend of mine on FB has a comment thread for “Airing of the Grievances”. It’s quite epic.

  68. 68
    Corner Stone says:

    @Raven: West of there, in Green Valley.

  69. 69
    redshirt says:

    @Raven: Nope. Ever been to Biosphere 2? It’s like an hour or so North of Tucson and is awesome – a glass enclosed world, with forests and oceans and deserts and rain forests – except not in the plural. It’s also got some of the most fascinating engineering ever – for example, huge artificial lungs which take on expanding air during the day and breath it back at night, all without external power. If you dig science, it’s totally worth the visit. The UofA runs it now and has an awesome campus on site as well – like out of old Star Trek.

  70. 70
    Raven says:

    @Corner Stone: Man, we went hiking in Texas Canyon and Cochise Stronghold. No wonder them fucking blue bellies couldn’t find him!

  71. 71
    Raven says:

    @redshirt: Negative.

  72. 72
    Corner Stone says:

    Go The Bandwagons!

  73. 73
    Anya says:

    @Raven: I feel like a heel, but really, why do people need to visit each other only on Christmas. I can visit them any other time.

    @Maude: Great minds and all that

    @Corner Stone: Shush. Don’t blow my cover, man.

  74. 74
    Rosie Outlook says:

    I am DONE! I do not have to enter a store until after The Holidays. And that’s good, because if I had had to listen to Brenda Lee yowl about rockin’ around that damn Christmas tree one more time, I would probably have run amok with a stake of holly.

    I despise The Holidays. I like Christmas, which is an important holy day on my religion, but The Holidays are nothing but an exercise in wretched excess and forced gaiety. I don’t understand why the feminist groups don’t come out against The Holidays, because the giant marketing machine we call a society puts tremendous pressure on already overworked women to conform to the marketed ideal of The Holidays. Most women hate The Holidays; I haven’t found a woman who likes The Holidays in at least ten years.

  75. 75
    kindness says:

    Niners are gettin spanked.

  76. 76
    Narcissus says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: How do you not like Seinfeld

  77. 77
    Corner Stone says:

    I love those Coach T commercials, and I don’t care who knows it.

  78. 78
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge says:

    You guys don’t know what suckitude is. The Seahawks may have won some game or other—somewhere, sometime—if so, it was never brought to my attention.Then suddenly, for no apparent reason, they were in Super Bowl Xtra-Large with the Green Bay Packers. They completely humiliated Green Bay in the first quarter, then laid down and let the Packers use them as throw rugs for the rest of the game. Now that’s some world-class suckage!

  79. 79
    The Sailor says:

    @Narcissus: “How do you not like Seinfeld?”

    A show about selfish people doing terrible things to each other and to others? What’s to like?

  80. 80
    Bill Murray says:

    @Anya: Here’s a sort of anti-Christmas Christmas song for ya — Florence Dore “Christmas”

  81. 81
    Spaghetti Lee says:


    Sorry, but no. So you haven’t won a Super Bowl. Lots of teams haven’t won a Super Bowl. The Vikings have made the playoffs 14 out of the last 25 years. The Bills, Lions, Browns, Jets, Cardinals, and I’m sure I’m missing a few would love a track record like that.

    I get the idea that it’s worse to root for a team that always breaks your heart over one that never comes close, but there’s something to be said for never getting close, trudging through season after season and knowing there’s nothing but 5-win seasons and failed draft picks in your future.

  82. 82
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    @The Sailor:

    Aren’t lots of comedies about terrible people doing terrible things to each other? It’s not like Groucho or the Stooges or any Mel Brooks characters were models of integrity.

  83. 83
    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason says:

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    May the FSM roast Art Modell

    Art Modell has to wait in line behind Robert Irsay, the bastard who started it all.

    ETA: And by all I mean NFL musical chairs.

  84. 84
    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason says:

    @Raven: Five of us tried to go to Guaymas in 1971. Mexican customs wouldn’t let us go south (visa? I can’t remember) with long hair. Two guys decided to go to a barber and headed onward. The rest of us hung out in Tucson and hit Nogales instead.

    Nixon. “Operation Intercept”. What a fuckin’ joke.

  85. 85
    Corner Stone says:

    The Bandwagons are dismantling The Harbaughs. And I love it.

  86. 86
    The Sailor says:

    @Spaghetti Lee: I guess it was that the Seinfeld characters were all unlikeable, to me. Not much a Stooges fan.

  87. 87
    Anya says:

    @Bill Murray: Nice voice. I like the song. Thanks for sharing.

  88. 88
    Corner Stone says:

    Why would Jack Reacher drive such a fine mofo car?

  89. 89
    mainmati says:

    @amk: What, he’s a Mormon? Reminds me of when I worked in Egypt and seeing the Saudi upper classes come off their flights into Cairo from Ryadh totally drunk (we’re talking about the males. of course) and spend their time in casinos.

  90. 90
    Anya says:

    @Mike in NC: Seriously, there are nice people and mean people everywhere, but the three people from Idaho I’ve met are really nice. The stereotypical salt of the earth, polite and generous.

  91. 91
    Corner Stone says:

    Burn bitchez! That’s right! Sherman just toasted The Harbaughs right the fuck out of this game!

  92. 92
    catclub says:

    @aangus: So close! Then they mis-spell a key word.

  93. 93
    catclub says:

    @Schlemizel: I want to know more about this: “USMC obstetrical course”

    Obstacle course sounds too easy. And I have heard it said that the uterus will humble any doctor.

  94. 94
    Corner Stone says:

    I hope so hard that lil bitch Harbaugh gets to sit the Championship game out due to his choice to sit Alex Smith.
    Harbaugh and Kappy can pass the medicinal bong back and forth while they watch the Superbowl.

  95. 95
    Suffern ACE says:

    Goodness. Seattle is now going to be favored to win the NFC.

  96. 96
    Corner Stone says:

    I hope they drop 60 on ’em. Fuck The Harbaughs.

  97. 97
    Felonius Monk says:

    I couldn’t go to Festivus because I couldn’t find my Manzier.

  98. 98
    Narcissus says:

    @Felonius Monk: I was wearing two, but I was just doing it to fool Lloyd Braun.

  99. 99
    Corner Stone says:

    @Narcissus: “Serenity now. Insanity later.”

  100. 100
    jurassicpork says:

    Sorry for the airing of grievances but… Please help a liberal blogger stave off eviction the week after Xmas.

    Next year, I’ll do the feats of Strength, I swear. I’ll even work out in 2013…

  101. 101
    Carolina Dave says:

    My family was spared the Airing of the Greviences this year. Or anything else because my wife said, “We are not f#$%ing celebrating Festivus this year or any other year.

    As to sucky NFL teams. I W

  102. 102
    Carolina Dave says:

    I will submit the Carolina Panthers. But of course the Jax Jags suck worse. So were #2 in sucky teams,

  103. 103
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Raven: Your unit’s holiday card? It’s interesting in how it mixes secular/military images (the badges) around the religious image in the center.

  104. 104
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: I rarely watched Seinfeld and didn’t find him particularly funny. So I’ve picked up Festivus from the general society.

  105. 105
    Maude says:

    Good morning. I’m up to take a med. I’ll go back to sleep later.
    Happy Christmas Eve.

  106. 106
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Maude: Happy Christmas Eve to you.

    I’ve been working through the night to finish a manuscript for my typing client. After I’ve met her to deliver the manuscript, I’ll come home and sleep. (My bad, I used the wrong set of files to make this round of changes to it so I had to redo part of it.)

  107. 107
    Maude says:

    I would hate typing someone’s manuscript. You are brave.
    I think manuscript files are confusing. It would be easy to get one or two mixed up.

  108. 108
    Schlemizel says:


    I can’t find a description of the events themselves but read this SI story from the time & tell me what you think.

    From the local paper:
    The Vietnam vet turned training camp into boot camp, Mankato serving as a poor man’s Parris Island. Veterans began to rebel on Day 1, when Steckel kicked things off with an Ironman competition – an extreme obstacle course that claimed victims with pulled hamstrings, acute exhaustion and vomitus projectilius.

    It went downhill from there.

    I’ll add the guy was also a sky pilot who forced his religious beliefs into every event/discussion/occasion.

Comments are closed.