An Incomplete Library of the Hometown Pets

Lots of bitching, pissing, and moaning about the lack of pet pictures, so I walked around the house and took some candids of most of the animals. I’m not going to even bother trying to photgraph my brother’s cats Speak and Whisper, who are here on vacation and crashing in the basement. I just know they are alive because there is shit in the litter box, their food and water bowls go down, and I don’t smell rotting flesh. They are that sketchy.



Next, the lovely and always perfect angel, Lily, who may, IMHO, be the greatest animal who has ever lived and who is the only thing in this world that reminds me I am capable of unconditional love:


I wake up every morning with that dog snoring into my armpit, and should I outlive her, I may just lose my will to live.

Up next, my brother’s dog Ellie, who has been here for a week and will remain for several more while my whole family is on vacation. For those of you wondering why I am not on vacation with them, I will only answer that I would rather shower in prison than share a beach house with my family and 10 dogs. I much prefer my current situation, which is me and my animals and a couple of my families pets here. Regardless, here is the Ellie, who, with one ear up and one ear down, always dials the cute up to eleven:


And finally, the bitch. Rosie refused to come when I called because she knew I wanted something- in this case, a picture. So, because she is a fucking Jack Russell Terrorist, she refused to respond to “Who wants a treat,” “Who wants to go for a walk,” or “Who wants to go out.” She knew the human was up to some shit, and said, in her own special way- “FUCK OFF.” So, having never had a love/hate relationship quite like this, I got on my stomache and snapped this picture of her being a bitch underneath my bed:


I swear to FSM, I will outwit this god damned JRT before one of us dies. Most of our conversations end with me saying “I wish I had left you on the side of the road.” Then, when I am not paying attention, she ends up on my lap and I pet her for an hour while watching the Steelers or something else engrossing before recognizing which dog I am giving the love.

Jack Russell Terriers are smarter than you. Recognizing that is the first step towards dealing with the situation.

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63 replies
  1. 1
    Mnemosyne says:

    Charlotte and Annie are playing hide-and-seek, and I think Annie is winning, because Charlotte is walking around and trilling, trying to figure out where Annie is.

    As we always say, Annie is very good at the game of How Not To Be Seen.

  2. 2

    Now that we have proof of life you can make your demands.

  3. 3
    sfinny says:

    Thanks for the pet pics. Your underbed photo of rosie is especially amazing in that it is amazingly clean. I have to suck up dust bunnies regularly. When I move the bed it is a nightmare. Do you vacuum under the bed more than weekly?

  4. 4
    JenJen says:

    Jack Russell Terrorist, LOL

  5. 5
    RobertDSC-PowerMac 466 says:

    Whatever happened to the old futon Tunch used to relax on?

    Thanks for the pet pix. All are adorable, especially the Jack Russell Terrorist.

  6. 6
    ant says:

    I have a question for cat people.

    We have a male cat that we got from the pound as a kitten 9 years ago. He is really sweet, and very much loved and spoiled to death.

    Here is a video

    Anyways, we wish to get another kitten, but are worried that our cat will not like it very much.

    He HATES other cats, and he rules the house. He gets pissy when there is a dog in the house. Even when the dog is really nice to him.

    You think he would ever forgive us for bringing him a friend?
    Could it be done?

  7. 7
    The Dangerman says:

    I hope Tunch knows that foot is actually his own; it looks like he’s pondering whether or not to try and eat it.

  8. 8
  9. 9
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    Cute pics.

    OT, but someone on the Atlantic Wire has picked the 50 Worst Columns of 2012. You may recognize most of the names, as we’ve bitched about them on BJ all year.

    Apologies if this has been posted in another thread.

  10. 10
    darkmatter says:


  11. 11
    Steeplejack says:


    No rollover text, if that’s of interest. (Usually you have some.) And it’s not just here; it’s site-wide over the last few days.

    Nice pics.

  12. 12
    Yutsano says:

    Proper authorities alerted. Should be showing up any moment now.

  13. 13
    Steeplejack says:


    Check with WereBear. And look at her site. Lots of good information there.

  14. 14
    clayton says:

    @ant: Dude, maybe if you talked to him, you 2 could figure it out with a new guy.

  15. 15
    Steeplejack says:

    Off to bed. I’m driving to Philadelphia tomorrow. Lunch at Nick’s in South Philly! Cheesesteak, mmm.

    Winter solstice at 6:12 a.m. EST for anyone interested. In case you want to set an alarm and hug a Druid or whatever.

  16. 16
    Mnemosyne says:


    If he really hates other cats, you may be SOL. Some cats are happier by themselves. But I agree that Werebear’s site should be consulted for this knotty problem.

  17. 17
    trollhattan says:

    @The Dangerman:
    Besides, who needs legs when you can just roll?

    Quite the menagerie, Cole. Love that you (probably) have extra basement delinquent cats, just because.

  18. 18
    trollhattan says:

    Bring it–am so ready for days to get longer. This sunset at 4:45 bullshit is for the birds, who probably don’t much like it either.

  19. 19
    Yutsano says:

    @Steeplejack: My bestest Druid ran off to Australia. After she ran off to Atlanta. At least in Oz it’s not about chasing a guy.

  20. 20
    trollhattan says:

    Also, also, too, northern California had a Mayan warmup last spring.

    A meteorite that exploded over El Dorado County last spring was one of the fastest, rarest meteorites to hit earth.

    That’s according to a 70-member international scientific team, which includes nine researchers from the University of California, Davis.

    The meteorite, that fell April 22, was the rarest type known to hit earth – a carbonaceous chrondite, composed of cosmic dust and materials that helped form the planets, according to a University of California, Davis press release.

    The meteorite, according to scientists, formed about 4.5 billion years ago. It broke off its parent body, perhaps an asteroid of a Jupiter-family comet, about 50,000 years ago.

  21. 21
    Yutsano says:

    Someone alert teh TBogg…

    (Warning: Ariana’s vanity site link.)

  22. 22
    ruemara says:

    I’m fascinated by your relationship with Rosie. It’s very 50 Shades of Grey. My cats are staring at me. Everyone has said I don’t look so good, I’m wondering if I look so bad even the cats are disturbed. The new prescriptions make me as miserable as when I went to the hospital. Medicine Roulette is the game of the night.

  23. 23
    Anne Laurie says:


    You think he would ever forgive us for bringing him a friend?
    Could it be done?

    Get a little bitty girl kitten. If the shelter insists (some won’t let you adopt a singleton under six months of age), get two little girl kittens. Unless your Spoilt Only has serious cat-psychological problems, young kittens are immune from attack and female cats (even spayed females) get a lot more latitude from males. Introduce the newcomers gradually — Werebear’s Way of Cats blog will have advice — and make sure the King of the House has a place he can get away from the little nuisance when he needs to.

    Nothing is 100% guaranteed in this vale of tears, but given the right partner & enough patience, a new kitten (or two) will perk up your middle-age guy & give him a new interest. Many years ago, a dear friend’s shorterm roommate brought a kitten into a home that had long been the exclusive domain of DF’s grouchy old hassock cat Shadow. Shadow staged entire Italian operas of outrage & vengeance-vowing for the multi-week period that he was forced, cruelly forced to share his kingdom with the vile little interloper. When the roommate & kitten went elsewhere, DF assumed things would return to baseline… but Shadow promptly went into a decline, refusing to eat (this is a cat who made Tunch look svelte), prowling the apartment mewling pathetically. DF eventually went & adopted another kitten — who, of course, Shadow greeted as an interloper. He never did ‘bond’ with the new girl, but stomping around muttering about kids these days & defending his prerogatives perked him up nicely.

  24. 24
    mandarama says:

    I’m glad to see the pet pics. Rosie is laughing her ass off to herself because she made Cole sprawl out on the floor to photograph her. (A priceless scenario to imagine.)

    Basically, I don’t have any Christmas spirit this year. I was overworked this semester; I yelled at my kids, fussed at my husband, and even told my beloved golden to leave me alone in sharp tones. I’ve been hard to live with. And once I finished work and handed it in, the CT news hit–I feel the horror, but I know it is wrong of me to turn it into my personal grief. It’s not about me. And yet I feel this weird kind of survivor’s guilt where I feel bad for watching my children be happy about the holiday.

    I think it’s the aftermath that’s really getting me, though. The idiot-ass pundits, fucking McArdle and Allen especially, being ghoulish and self-righteous. The wingnut brigade I went to high school with way down south in Dixie, splitting their time between sanctimoniously reminding us that God isn’t in schools and posting pictures of the Bushmasters their husbands went right out and bought this weekend “before Obama has his way.” They’re even reposting that crazy blogger screed that claimed the Administration had all those children killed so Obama could get some UN treaty black helicopters wearing tinfoil hats or something. They put stuff like “So SCARY” in the comments, but what they mean is “So awesome, b/c we can finally blame that black guy for killing kids!”

    These are people whose grandparents shared the community with my grandparents, people I knew all my life. And they are crazy and mean.

    So, pets. I’ve concluded that human beings are taking up the oxygen and resources that rightfully should belong to golden retrievers, who are clearly advanced beings of love and understanding.

  25. 25
    Debbie(Aussie) says:

    Beautiful aminals! Rosie is so like my Patch. He may not be for this world much longer. Boy will I miss him, 15 years is long relationship.

  26. 26
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    So, anyone ascended to a higher spiritual realm yet? I’m hoping to fit it in maybe 2-3 PM tomorrow.

  27. 27
  28. 28
    YellowJournalism says:

    Were there more family members’ pets staying with you, or did Tunch absorb them and their powers of cuteness, Highlander-style? I just want to snuggle my face in his fur the way I used to do with my own fat cat long ago. How I miss that bitchy white medicine ball of a cat!

  29. 29
    ruemara says:

    humph. I’m in moderation. someone save me.

  30. 30
    Yutsano says:

    @YellowJournalism: Tunch is not fat! He’s floofy!

  31. 31

    All Hail Tunch, the Turkish VanSemi.

  32. 32
    mai naem says:

    We tried introducing a cat to our late not so great cat. Did not go well. We had gotten her from a rescue group where we were allowed to return her if things weren’t working which is what we ended up having to do. Our cat didn’t like other animals period.

  33. 33
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    Hey, wait a damn minute-where are the mouseover captions?!

  34. 34
    Redshift says:

    We used to have a Jack Russell living next door to us, who would keep finding new ways to get under the fence into our yard. If we went out, he would bark at us furiously for invading “his” territory, before giving up and going back.

    On one such occasion, his person said mournfully, “You want a dog? They’re supposed to be trainable, but not by me…”

  35. 35
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    It looks like Tunch is deciding whether or not he wants to make the effort to stand up…

    to kill you for taking the pic of him sprawled on his ass. ;)

  36. 36
    Applejinx says:

    Re: Lily…
    You better outlive her, Cole.
    You be the strong one, and you take care of yourself.
    Because- from all we know, Lily having to go on without you is unthinkable. So it’s on you, buddy. Now let’s not talk about it again for years and years and years…

  37. 37
    amk says:

    You’re a lousy photographer.

  38. 38
  39. 39
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Redshift: The adorable little Jack Russell on the tv show Frasier apparently misled quite a few idiots into thinking JRTs were good apartment dogs. Which appalled the dog’s professional handler, who kept trying to explain to media outlets that he’d rescued the animal after it had lost its second (at least) home for being ‘untrainable’. Twelve-hour workdays were no problem, as long as the hotdog bits kept coming — but failing to stay quietly in a suburban backyard almost got the poor animal condemned to death, for coming up with its own entertainment options…

  40. 40
    asiangrrlMN says:


    That is all. Oh, the dogs are cute, too. Also. Thanks, Cole. I needed that.

    So many cute animals on this thread. It makes my heart smile.

    @Applejinx: This teared me up (in a good way).

    @Yutsano: Hey, hon! Thanks for letting me know!

  41. 41
    Culture of Truth says:

    Are you sure Tunch didn’t eat Speak and Whisper?

  42. 42
    danielx says:


    Looking particularly, um, fluffy in that pic.

    Total cat panic this morning – it was 55 degrees here at 2 pm yesterday, so this morning Zoey thought it would be a good idea to sneak outside…

    Only to find that there was three inches of snow, it was 25 degrees and with a forty mph wind blowing. Have seldom seen a cat moving with such frantic haste…

  43. 43
    bemused says:

    “And finally, the bitch”. I love how Rosie turned her head away for the pic. I can’t stop laughing.

  44. 44
    Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony says:

    TUNCH! Yay!

  45. 45
    different-church-lady says:

    Until I see today’s newspaper in each of those photos I’m going to stick with my suspicion you’ve cooked and eaten the lot of them.

  46. 46
    Svensker says:

    Shmoo! As has already been noted.

    And doggies are sweet. Well, most doggies. The remaining ones are very funny.

  47. 47
    Capri says:

    @ant: It will take you cat three weeks to get over it, but after that he should accept if not like the newcomer.

    My cats (together 6 years) treat each other like strangers who share the same train to work and see each other most mornings.

    I’ve heard that if you re-arrange the furniture, the original cat be disoriented enough to think it’s in a brand new territory and not mind the new addition. That sounds a little fishy – but could be worth a try.

  48. 48
    Rosalita says:

    Fuck yeah you’ve been stingy on the pets. A little bit of warm and fuzzy is really needed right now. Best part of my day is getting in bed to read and Tess curls up next to me and starts her marathon bath.

  49. 49
    AnnaN says:

    It is an unfortunate fact of life: that which is fluffy and cuddly and touch our hearts is bound to pass before us.

    John, you can’t give up when Lily is gone. There will always be another rescue, another friendship which turns to love. It will be different but it will still be love.

  50. 50
    WereBear says:

    Next, the lovely and always perfect angel, Lily, who may, IMHO, be the greatest animal who has ever lived and who is the only thing in this world that reminds me I am capable of unconditional love:

    I remember the story of how Lilly reached out psychically and made sure you took her home. Love is the most powerful force in the Universe!

    Speaking of which, enjoy Sir Tristan (remember him as a tiny lad?) modeling his Santa Hat.

  51. 51
    WereBear says:

    @ant: Yes! But it is a process that must be handled with some care. Remember, in this case, it IS all in the attitude.

    Try out some new cats, safely, with my Tissue Technique.

    Here is my 4 Step introduction program.

    How lively is your present cat? This is more pertinent than how old they are. In many cases, the senior cat is too senior to really enjoy a kitten’s level of play. In that case, get TWO kittens; they will play with each other, and the senior cat loves to feel superior to such idiotic beanheads.

    Remember: the solution to your cat problem is, (very often) more cats!

  52. 52
    Freemark says:

    @different-church-lady: I think it is more likely that they would cook and eat JC. They would be set for the winter.

  53. 53
    cmorenc says:

    My 11yo Italian Greyhound is in one of her favorite habitats at the moment: curled up on a pillow on a couch, covered by a light blanket, snoozing. I cannot lay down on that couch myself for a nap without her coming along within five minutes from wherever she was and wanting to curl up in my prone lap and be petted, and then have a light blanket laid over the both of us. Twice a day, she does “ask” to be taken out for a walk around the neighborhood, as opposed to merely needing to be let out in the fenced back yard to pee. And once or twice a day, she’ll bring one of ther cloth toys and growl gently with it in her teeth, a sign she wants me to play tug-of-war with her. So she’s not entirely a snoozehound. At nighttime, when she’s in our bed under thick covers with my wife and I’m still up at the other end of the house, no matter how quietly I try to lay out a cheese-crackers-and milk snack for myself, she hears or smells it from all the way in the bedroom, underneath the covers at the other end of the house and within a minute or two is in the kitchen with me, pleading for a couple of cheese slivers to be tossed her way.

    Yes, she leads a dog’s life, but what a plush life that is.

  54. 54
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    I will outwit this god damned JRT before one of us dies.

    No, you won’t. A smart dog knows people better than us people do.

  55. 55
    ant says:

    thank you all for the suggestions….

    I will read over the links provided.

  56. 56
    Violet says:

    Yay! Pet pics! I love all your pets. Ellie’s ear gets me every time. So adorable. Good luck with Rosie. She’s definitely got you trained. Look at you there on your stomach, getting down to her level. And she knows how to get pet when she wants.

  57. 57
    ThresherK says:

    Hey, anyone know how to get rid of “green eye” in a pet photo? That “red eye reduction” thing in common apps doesn’t work.

  58. 58
    Rosie Outlook says:

    Is Tunch still on his diet? He looks awfully…voluptuous.

  59. 59
    Quaker in a Basement says:

    Most of our conversations end with me saying “I wish I had left you on the side of the road.” Then, when I am not paying attention, she ends up on my lap and I pet her for an hour

    You’re a good man, Cole.

  60. 60

    Ellie looks exactly like my first dog, Daisy. She was an outside dog (my mother had no idea how to treat cats and dogs and I shudder to think of those poor pets we had as children). Never fixed, Daisy escaped the backyard and was hit by a truck. I would love to snuggle up with Ellie and spoil her rotten.

    As always, John, love the pet pics.

  61. 61
    Ken J. says:

    Thank you for the photos of Tunch and the doggies.

    Our cat Gwen, very food-motivated, has blown up to a smaller-scale version of Tunch. And our most recent rescue Zoobie is undernourished reportedly due to overactive thyroid, so figuring out how to get Zoobie to eat more while Gwen eats less is a problem.

    On the positive side, Gwen is now 3/4 of the way to being a lap cat, and she sleeps on the laundry hamper next to the bed, and that’s a huge improvement over two years ago when she insisted on being left alone.

    Tristan, the brilliant people-focused Siamese, just keeps on keeping on. Ack, he’s 12 years old, he was our Y2K cat.

  62. 62
    Wolfdaughter says:

    I recently adopted a cat, a longhaired orange tabby. I call him Marmalade. He was terrified for the first couple of weeks living with me, but once he figured out that I wasn’t going to hurt him, he started letting me pet him and now he’s the most loving little beastie.

    He likes to get up on the bed with me and cuddle. He presses his little face up against mine and purrs and purrs.

    He apparently has drawn a connection between my hands and his front paws. He licks my hand and then wants me to rub it against his cheek, just as if he’d licked his own paw. He also chases imaginary prey.

    He’s my little love.

  63. 63
    tBoy says:

    I miss Daxy, our JRT. He was hell on wheels. The people in the after-hours ER knew him by name. Daxy used to piss in our Dalmatian/Great Dane’s food bowl while the big dog was eating.

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