Open Thread

Walrus executes a rare double-facepalm:

walrus double facepalm

I know exactly how he feels. Please discuss whatever.

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93 replies
  1. 1
    Cassidy says:

    DROOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEZZZZ! OBAMA SOLD US OUT! GIVE ME SOMEONE WHO LEADS! I CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO VOTE, JUST COMPLAIN ON BLOGS!

    I also only seem to have a problem with the black guy.

    /tedbeatshelen

    Figured I’d just get it out of the way so we can have a pleasant day.

  2. 2
    JPL says:

    Maddow blog had this gem.. link
    My sons’s six pound dog visits and I won’t allow her to play outside by herself. Between the hawks and herons, she wouldn’t stand a chance. The other neighborhood I lived in had Great horned owls and those suckers would take Miss Moxie. She’s only 17 pounds.

  3. 3
    Mark S. says:

    I haven’t been paying much attention to politics lately. Is Boehner in any trouble as regards to the Speakership? He’s been adopting a much more moderate tone lately, one that can’t sit too well with the teabaggers in the House.

  4. 4
    Hawes says:

    What sort of person reads Megan McArdle columns to a helpless animal and think they can make it better with a KipperCake?

    Where is Sarah McLaughlin when you need her?

  5. 5
    4tehlulz says:

    ConcealedCarry Magazine ad on the front page.

    Someone’s ad targeting needs some help.

  6. 6
    Betty Cracker says:

    @JPL: Jesus!

  7. 7
    JPL says:

    @4tehlulz: I want to know when I’m shopping with someone who is packing heat. Those laws infringe my right to shop in gun free zones. They remove my choice. If someone wants to carry, fine. Then show me.
    In the wild, wild west, they weren’t cowards who had to hide their guns. They were real men.
    Also, too why can’t I bring a gun into Congress, if those guys think concealed weapons are the way to go.

    I’m getting ads cuz I went online this weekend to research internet sales..

  8. 8
    dmsilev says:

    We will all be relieved to learn that Megan McArdle *never* intended for kindergarteners to banzai-charge gunmen:

    I completely agree that small children rushing a shooter would be a terrible idea. I can see how taken out of context, if you maybe hadn’t read the whole article, “young people” could be read to refer to the Newtown school children. But I was talking about teenagers, not first graders.

    See? Teenagers. They’re obviously much more suited for reenacting Verdun. Silly liberals.

  9. 9
    JPL says:

    @Betty Cracker: Maybe the NRA will announce that more children are injured by eagles, then guns.

  10. 10
    Rational Subjectivist says:

    @4tehlulz:

    Someone’s ad targeting needs some help.

    Enjoy it while you can. Ad targeting is in its infancy. Once they work it out, and they will because it’s where all the money is, you’ll feel like you’re being followed everywhere by spies.

  11. 11
    bemused says:

    @JPL:

    That is one of the reasons our current kitties are indoor only. Our previous cats who did go outdoors lived 15, 16 and 19 years but no more going out for present or future kitties. We have a lot more predator birds around in recent years, bald eagles and owls.

  12. 12
    dmsilev says:

    @JPL: Ban assault eagles now! And certainly no civilian ownership of rocs.

  13. 13
    DecidedFenceSitter says:

    @4tehlulz: Heh mine is Free to play MMOs at the moment. Probably because they have enough information to go based off my search records versus the topics of conversation.

  14. 14
    R-Jud says:

    @JPL: If eagles are outlawed, only outlaws will have eagles.

  15. 15
    bemused says:

    @dmsilev:

    That woman is an idiot.

  16. 16
    Cassidy says:

    @dmsilev: FSM, if there was ever a case for abandoning children to be eaten by wolves, she is it.

  17. 17
    Betty Cracker says:

    @dmsilev: As the mom of a teenager, I’d like to offer McArgleBargle a hearty “fuck you!” God, what a clueless ninny.

    @JPL: Isn’t their “child-friendly” mascot called Eddie the Eagle? Awkward.

  18. 18
    anibundel says:

    I thought the walrus was crying.

  19. 19
    cmorenc says:

    Megan McArdle /a> now explains:

    I completely agree that small children rushing a shooter would be a terrible idea. I can see how taken out of context, if you maybe hadn’t read the whole article, “young people” could be read to refer to the Newtown school children. But I was talking about teenagers, not first graders.

    Ohhh, why didn’t you say so in the first place Megan! We’re all so much more behind the idea of 15-year olds rushing someone spraying down everyone in a room with a clip of sub-automatic gunfire than getting 5-year olds to do it.

  20. 20
    JPL says:

    @dmsilev: Isn’t there an appropriate adage here .. like stop digging .. or stfu.

  21. 21
    Cassidy says:

    @JPL: If we were lucky, she’d dig her way into oncoming traffic.

  22. 22
    Patricia Kayden says:

    @anibundel: Tears of joy in anticipation of all that fish?

  23. 23
    schrodinger's cat says:

    @anibundel: He is, he wants his bucket back.

  24. 24
    anibundel says:

    @Patricia Kayden: That the man remembered his birthday?

    or perhaps he found out the walrus was Paul, and that made him so sad, even fishcake couldn’t solve it.

  25. 25
    Sargeant Pepper's Spray says:

    David Lynch remakes Gallipoli staring a cast of 7 year old tots and Mel Gibson as a mad Turk with a screen play by McMegan. Brilliant!!!

  26. 26
    peach flavored shampoo says:

    Obama Time Person of the Year

    Cue the wailing, Time boycotting, and endless “librul meedya” screeds.

  27. 27
    The Red Pen says:

    This image should accompany all articles about gun-luvin’ wingnuts: (SFW)
    http://sparkiearbuckle.sayanyt.....15;375.jpg

  28. 28
    Mark S. says:

    I almost admire the way McMegan always doubles down when she’s shown to be a complete fucking idiot. Well, maybe admiration isn’t the correct word.

  29. 29
    anibundel says:

    @peach flavored shampoo: In a related development, most people surprised to learn TIME is still in print.

  30. 30

    Since this is an open thread, I was thinking about these drug ads you see on television, the ones that are two minutes long and they take one minute and fifty seconds of those two minutes to tell you how the drug can maim or kill you. It seems like that might make people less likely to buy the drug. But then, you know what they say, ask your doctor if Sexxōpril™ is right for you!

    [Scene of a man and a woman frolicking on a beach]

    Off screen announcer: You love her. But if you’re a man over the age of 7, there are days when you just can’t get it up. This is a serious medical condition called erectile dysfunction that can obliterate your manhood and make you feel like a loser.

    But Sexxōpril™ can help! In clinical trials, Sexxōpril™ helped alleviate the symptoms–and shame–of erectile dysfunction, also known as impotence. One capsule a day may be all you need to be a Real Man again.

    [Cut to doctor-looking man wearing a lab coat and sitting in an office]

    Doctor-looking dude: Sexxōpril™ is not for everyone. Sexxōpril™ has been found to cause serious side effects in rare cases. Side effects include, but are not limited to, chronic nausea; acute nausea; migraines; strokes; heart attacks; loss of teeth, hair or toenails; hives; skin rashes; halitosis; memory loss; delusions of persecution; loss of fine motor control; testicular bloating; insomnia; swelling of the face, neck, lips, tongue, eyes, legs, hands, feet, knees, spleen and rectum; arterial gas embolism; weight gain; weight loss; anal dilation; anal leakage; loss of bladder control; gingivitis; siezures; appendicitis; constipation; genital warts; tenderness of the scrotum; suicidal thoughts; homicidal thoughts; slurred or incoherent speech; increased flatulence; disturbing dreams; loss of hearing or eyesight; olfactory hallucinations; leprosy; canniballistic tendencies; obsessive-compulsive tendencies; loss of bone mass; loss of muscle mass; dementia; jaundice; enlargement of the breasts; uncontrollable fits of sneezing; difficulty breathing, swallowing or turning the head; bloody diarrhœa; and muscle tremors. 87% of patients taking Sexxōpril™ suffered one or more side effects. On average, patients suffered no more than 11 side effects at any one time. 4% of these side effects were mild and temporary. 13% of these side effects were mild but permanent. 17% of these side effects were severe but temporary.

    Tell your doctor about any medications you take, your diet and daily hygiene habits, your favorite color and your medical history. Do not drink alcohol while taking Sexxōpril™. Do not smoke while taking Sexxōpril™. Do not sleep more that nine hours or less than eight and a half hours a day while taking Sexxōpril™. Do not drive or operate machinery while taking Sexxōpril™. Do not take Sexxōpril™ if your favorite color is green, blue or purple. Do not have sexual relations more than once every three weeks while taking Sexxōpril™. Do not masturbate while taking Sexxōpril™. Walking more than 20 feet at a time while taking Sexxōpril™ has been found to cause spontaneous ejaculations in some patients. If you have an erection lasting longer than 15 minutes while taking Sexxōpril™, seek medical attention immediately, as this can lead to irreversible penile decomposition.

    Women should not handle Sexxōpril™. Women who are pregnant, may become pregnant, have ever been pregnant, have ever thought about becoming pregnant, or have ever known someone who has ever been pregnant should not handle, look at, read about, hear about or think about Sexxōpril™. If a woman is present at a conversation and someone mentions Sexxōpril™, she should leave and seek medical help immediately. In clinical studies, some women who came within 17,000 yards of an exposed capsule of Sexxōpril™ suffered necrosis of the buttocks.

    [Cut back to beach; laughter and grunting coming from behind sand dune]

    Off-screen announcer again: Erectile dysfunction no longer has to come between you and that Special Someone. Talk to you doctor and ask if Sexxōpril™ is right for you today!
    .

  31. 31
    Elizabelle says:

    @JPL:

    Wicked about the golden eagle.

    Your link had this link: David Brooks is teaching a Yale class this Spring on “Humility.”

  32. 32
    Amir Khalid says:

    @dmsilev:
    The paragraph in question:

    My guess is that we’re going to get a law anyway, and my hope is that it will consist of small measures that might have some tiny actual effect, like restrictions on magazine capacity. I’d also like us to encourage people to gang rush shooters, rather than following their instincts to hide; if we drilled it into young people that the correct thing to do is for everyone to instantly run at the guy with the gun, these sorts of mass shootings would be less deadly, because even a guy with a very powerful weapon can be brought down by 8-12 unarmed bodies piling on him at once. Would it work? Would people do it? I have no idea; all I can say is that both these things would be more effective than banning rifles with pistol grips.

    I just don’t see this kind of scenario playing out the way McArdle imagines, even with a roomful of able-bodied grownups. Whoever was leading the charge would be looking at almost-certain death, unless they could disarm the shooter quickly enough. I can’t imagine law-enforcement agencies recommending this tactic.

  33. 33
    Elizabelle says:

    @peach flavored shampoo:

    Great choice on Obama, and that is one of the ugliest magazine covers I have ever seen.

  34. 34
    jayjaybear says:

    @Elizabelle: Excuse me…I seem to be dying of an irony overdose. Please get help…

  35. 35

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.:

    That was extremely entertaining and sadly true. I remember years ago there was a medication introduced for toe nail fungus (must have been a huge problem obviously) and the damn side effects made me think that most people would rather put up with ugly toe nails than put up with all of the side effects.

  36. 36
    Betty Cracker says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.: LMAO! I think my favorite is the ad for the boner pill that can induce puberty in toddlers and cause women to suddenly sprout beards.

  37. 37
    JPL says:

    @Elizabelle: hahahahaha

  38. 38
    dmsilev says:

    @Betty Cracker: The really scary thing is that she spent another couple thousand words trying to defend herself from the mockery coming in from all sides. She has no concept of “when in a hole, stop digging”.

  39. 39

    @peach flavored shampoo:

    You know who else was person of the year?

  40. 40
    R-Jud says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.:

    In clinical studies, some women who came within 17,000 yards of an exposed capsule of Sexxōpril™ suffered necrosis of the buttocks.

    Hee. Ads for pharma drugs seem completely absurd when you’ve been living outside the U.S. for a while.

  41. 41
    JPL says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.: Didn’t congress mandate coverage of those types of pills cuz men just gotta be men.

  42. 42
    Punchy says:

    @JPL: That video is just……AWESOME. Helps that the kid is OK.

  43. 43
    quannlace says:

    The headline in my morning newspaper, “NRA vows to stop senseless gun violence.”

    I guess they’ll still keep all the ‘sensible’ ones. like after you find out your girlfriend’s cheated on you or someone’s taken your parking space.

  44. 44

    @Elizabelle:

    When it comes to humility, I’m the greatest.
    — Bullwinkle Moose

  45. 45
    Schlemizel says:

    @dmsilev:

    Well, she herself is a hole (of the rectal variety) so she probably can’t recognize the difference.

    I commented that she really needs to get some of her friends together and demonstrate how well this would work

  46. 46
    TooManyJens says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.: I am in awe of your ability to get a 650-word fake boner pill ad through the spam filter. The rest of us can’t even talk about sockalism. Kudos!

  47. 47
    Viva BrisVegas says:

    @peach flavored shampoo:

    Cue the wailing

    You know who else was named Time Man of the Year?

    Yes, you guessed it, Hitler George W Bush.

    (And every other President since FDR).

  48. 48
    arguingwithsignposts says:

    @Elizabelle:

    David Brooks is teaching a Yale class this Spring on “Humility.”

    Such Hayekian modesty.

  49. 49
    MattF says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.: Olfactory hallucinations? Guess I won’t take it.

  50. 50
    Citizen_X says:

    @dmsilev:
    @Schlemizel:
    McArdle: “Hm. Is this my ass? Or a hole in the ground? I can’t tell. Oh well, keep digging!”

  51. 51
    MikeJ says:

    @Elizabelle:

    David Brooks is teaching a Yale class this Spring on “Humility.”

    He has a lot to be humble about.

  52. 52
    Elizabelle says:

    @Betty Cracker:

    I always LOVE hearing that ad about Low T.

    All that virility, and now you’ve got a wife with acne and a beard, and a young kid who’s the science exhibit in his 2nd grade class.

    Better living through chemistry!

  53. 53
    quannlace says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.:

    My favorite are the drugs supposed to treat depression, and one of their side effects are ‘suicidal thoughts.”

  54. 54
    chopper says:

    @dmsilev:

    yeah, grade school kids bum-rushing a shooter, that’s insane. why would anyone think mcmegan would be stupid enough to suggest that? now, junior-high school kids, that’s a different story. thirteen year olds are especially good at stopping mass murderers with their bare hands.

  55. 55
    Citizen_X says:

    Doesn’t that walrus appreciate the presentation? Or is that embarrassingly cliche for walrus restaurants?

  56. 56
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Rational Subjectivist: Flash blocker and Ad blocker… they work wonders.

  57. 57
    Rosalita says:

    Looks to me like he’s covering his eyes that he has to share his space with stupid humans. I feel like doing the same thing right now.

  58. 58
    RSA says:

    @Schlemizel:

    I commented that she really needs to get some of her friends together and demonstrate how well this would work

    I commented on an earlier thread that she should work out how to explain to “young people” that when they rush an armed killer, some of them are likely to be killed. It’s telling that she’s still advocating this strategy for people who are by all evidence not very good at making life-and-death decisions on their own.

  59. 59
    PurpleGirl says:

    @Cassidy: She should take a long walk off a short pier. (Maybe with lead or cement shoes.)

  60. 60
    chopper says:

    @quannlace:

    i love when they broadly note ‘certain sexual side effects’. wow, way specific there. what are they? super-boners? scrotum turns to peanut brittle?

  61. 61
    The Red Pen says:

    @Rational Subjectivist:

    Ad targeting is in its infancy. Once they work it out, and they will because it’s where all the money is, you’ll feel like you’re being followed everywhere by spies.

    What amuses me are the “targeted” ads for things I just bought. I just booked a room at the W on Lakeshore in Chicago. Guess — guess! — what is being pushed in every banner ad I see today?

    I mean, besides one simple secret to fight belly fat.

  62. 62
    Steeplejack says:

    @TooManyJens:

    Socialism A-OK now.

  63. 63
    The Red Pen says:

    Oh. Robert Bork died.

  64. 64

    The first thing I thought when I saw the picture was, “Louie Goehmert should wear that crown of fish when he’s speaking in the House.”

  65. 65
    Elizabelle says:

    I couldn’t find it, but does anyone else remember a little video clip of Nancy Reagan getting slapped by a walrus or sea lion? Might have been before she was First Lady; she was touring some marine park with some guy and was posed near an animal.

    And then …

    Can anyone find it?

  66. 66
    Citizen_X says:

    Now we can ask the gun nuts: why have guns when, as a noted conservative commentator points out, we have advanced gang-rush-the-shooter technology?

  67. 67
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.:

    Doctor-looking dude: Sexxōpril™ is not for everyone. Sexxōpril™ has been found to cause serious side effects in rare cases. Side effects include, but are not limited to, chronic nausea; acute nausea; migraines; strokes; heart attacks; loss of teeth, hair or toenails; hives; skin rashes; halitosis; memory loss; delusions of persecution; loss of fine motor control; testicular bloating; insomnia; swelling of the face, neck, lips, tongue, eyes, legs, hands, feet, knees, spleen and rectum; arterial gas embolism; weight gain; weight loss; anal dilation; anal leakage; loss of bladder control; gingivitis; siezures; appendicitis; constipation; genital warts; tenderness of the scrotum; suicidal thoughts; homicidal thoughts; slurred or incoherent speech; increased flatulence; disturbing dreams; loss of hearing or eyesight; olfactory hallucinations; leprosy; canniballistic tendencies; obsessive-compulsive tendencies; loss of bone mass; loss of muscle mass; dementia; jaundice; enlargement of the breasts; uncontrollable fits of sneezing; difficulty breathing, swallowing or turning the head; bloody diarrhœa; and muscle tremors.

    I want to know who would want to have sex with someone having the above side effects.

    Oh, right… conservative women.

  68. 68
    Poopyman says:

    @The Red Pen: Ah well, I guess that lowers the chance that President Romney will re-nominate him to the SC.

  69. 69
    Ivan Ivanovich Renko says:

    There’s a supposed “pain” pill that has “suicidal thoughts” as a potential side-effect.

    Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

  70. 70

    @The Red Pen:

    Does it make me a bad person that I really don’t give a shit?

  71. 71

    I’ll also add that the evening after I posted my fake ad on my Facebook page, my wife and I saw an ad for some kind of testosterone-boosting shit that guys can rub onto their armpits. Made me sad that even my over-the-top parody couldn’t keep up with the real thing…

  72. 72
  73. 73
    Paul in KY says:

    Received my Pets of BJ calendar. Worth every penny.

  74. 74
    Elizabelle says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.:

    If I saw some guy applying that, I’d tell him “That better be Speed Stick or you can’t touch me for three weeks.”

  75. 75
    Punchy says:

    The Borkster just borked.

    Edit: Dammit, scooped by the food-pic guy

  76. 76
    Paul in KY says:

    @The Red Pen: Good :-)

  77. 77
    jeffreyw says:

    @Punchy: Actually, I got that from my Svedish Terrier, he says that all the time when he is excited.

  78. 78
    Mino says:

    @Elizabelle: At first glance, I thought his topic was to be Humanity. Har, har, har.

  79. 79
    Suffern ACE says:

    @The Red Pen: Finally.

  80. 80
    Ash Can says:

    @Cassidy: I’d be happy if she just dug her way out of a job and into obscurity.

  81. 81
    Dr. Squid says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.:

    This is not a complete parody. The last side effect isn’t dry mouth, which immediately follows heart attacks, strokes, and testicular bloating.

    Dry mouth is a side effect for Sexxōpril™. Truuuust me.

  82. 82
    J R in WV says:

    @MattF:

    Smells like Teen Spirit!

  83. 83
  84. 84
    Brachiator says:

    Django Unchained and Les Miserables are set to open on December 25. Samuel L Jackson and Anne Hathaway in a funny Sad Off on the two movies.

    Because nothing says “Merry Xmas” like movies about slaves and whores.

  85. 85
    Cacti says:

    Robert Bork is dead.

    Good riddance to another Nixon stooge.

  86. 86
    Brachiator says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.:

    Since this is an open thread, I was thinking about these drug ads you see on television, the ones that are two minutes long and they take one minute and fifty seconds of those two minutes to tell you how the drug can maim or kill you. It seems like that might make people less likely to buy the drug.

    All drugs have side effects. Best case scenario is that they are mild, rare, or only affect a subset of people taking the drug.

    But what these ads do, along with typical human stupidity, is push some people to “natural” remedies, homeopathic bullshit,”alternative” medicine and the fantasy that there is some magical substance out there that will be super efficacious and yet also totally benign.

    This has also provided a permanent income stream for ultra-fraudmeisters like Kevin Trudeau.

  87. 87
    Julie says:

    @JPL: So if you google “Montreal eagle video” you will see this CBC story: “Baby-snatching eagle video called fake after going viral”.

  88. 88
  89. 89
    Comrade Mary says:

    Sorry, guys. I shall speak firmly to mes cousins.

    Centre NAD Reassures Montrealers: No Danger of Being Snatched by a Royal Eagle.

    The “Golden Eagle Snatches Kid” video, uploaded to YouTube on the evening of December 18, was made by Normand Archambault, Loïc Mireault and Félix Marquis-Poulin, students at Centre NAD, in the production simulation workshop class of the Bachelors degree in 3D Animation and Digital Design.

  90. 90
    Ruckus says:

    @Elizabelle:
    The class outline tells us the class is about how to recognize someone without any humility. Or humanity, I can’t quite make it out.

    He’s may just be about perfect for the subject either way.

  91. 91
    Brachiator says:

    @burnspbesq:

    Really liked the bit about “horse shit peddlers.”

    And “Get in the fucking sack.”

  92. 92
    Darkrose says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.: MSNBC runs tons of medical product ads–I now know more about Joe Theisman’s prostate than I EVER wanted to–and the drug ones are hilarious. “May cause side effects including [massive list of horrible things] and death.”

    So, taking this drug could potentially kill me? Sounds cool–I’ll talk to my doctor today!

  93. 93
    Darkrose says:

    @Brachiator: That was brilliant.

Comments are closed.