Arizona Republicans Reanimate Dead Birth Certificate Horse and Beat It Again

20121218-122858.jpg

Keeping fucking that chicken, jackasses:

Members of the Electoral College formally cast their ballots for the 2012 presidential election in traditional ceremonies across the country today. In Arizona, three electoral voters — including state GOP Chairman Tom Morrissey — took the opportunity to question President Obama’s birth certificate as they cast their ballot for Mitt Romney, the AP reports.

“I’m not satisfied with what I’ve seen,” Morrissey said, according to a local radio station. “I think for somebody in the president’s position to not have produced a document that looks more legitimate, I have a problem with that.”

Actually? Better get a new chicken, because y’all done fucked this one to death.

As you may recall, Tom Morrissey was diagnosed with Obama Derangement Syndrome long ago, so this isn’t new. (I wrote about Morrissey here.) Still, its pretty goddamn embarrassing.

These fools are just yelling at the sky at this point. They need to sit down and shut up. The election is over. Nobody has time for this birther crap anymore.

Seriously. Shut it down.

[via TPM]

[cross-posted at ABLC]

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59 replies
  1. 1

    What he really means is that there is no document that will ever “look” legitimate enough because the President doesn’t look legitimate to him. He really just wants to make Obama jump through more hoops. Much like Brewer wanted to lecture Obama on the Tarmac and stick his finger in his face.

  2. 2

    Then what would me and the rest of the herd over at The Fogbow do for amusement? Please don’t take away da birfers!

  3. 3
    👽 Martin says:

    Obviously, the only solution to this problem is to arm the Electoral College.

    I think our odds are good on this one.

  4. 4
    wasabi gasp says:

    Why won’t Obama produce his green card?

  5. 5
    Cassidy says:

    They need to sit down and shut up

    Oh no. They need to keep it up, as loud as they can. They look so normal when they get national attention.

  6. 6
    Calming Influence says:

    Sorry, ABL, but that chicken needs further fucking. Just because those bastions of Left-Wing ideology, including but not limited to the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, and NAMBLA have failed to step up and RELEASE THE CLEAR EVIDENCE that Obama is a Kenyon interloper, doesn’t in any way prove that he isn’t a Kenyon interloper.

    Come on, cluck for me…

  7. 7
    beltane says:

    The worst part of all this is that every single one of these lunatics is heavily armed. We have a veritable army of crazy people in this country, and Arizona has its very own legion.

  8. 8
    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us? (formerly MarkJ) says:

    See what comes of mainstreaming gay marriage? People raping chickens! It’s OK because God wants chicken rape babies, but still…

    now I’m confused. God doesn’t want gay marriage, but God wants rape babies, chicken or otherwise, and gay marriage causes chicken rape babies so . . . God must want gay marriage.

  9. 9
    JR(Not the Other JR) says:

    We can’t let this N-CLANG get sworn in a second time!

  10. 10
    c u n d gulag says:

    Hey “Birther” folks:
    You’re ‘one-hit wonders’ – and everyone except your groupies agrees that your hit sucks donkey dick.

    So, find a new donkey dick to suck, or better yet, STFU!

  11. 11
    Forum Transmitted Disease says:

    I am very certain the birfers threw votes Obama’s way, rather than take anything from him. The kind of person who believes that horseshit wouldn’t have ever voted for Obama anyhow.

  12. 12
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    You see, they need to have some excuse for hating Obama that is something other than “he’s a ni*CLANG*!”, and all they’ve got is the thin gruel of birtherism. It’s patently obvious to all who observe that it’s a thin gruel, and that it’s much thinner than tissue thin as a reason, but they have to maintain the fantasy that there’s something not right about Obama aside from his skin color…or his political party. Because, you know, civility.

  13. 13
    Felinious Wench says:

    I love, love that picture. And yes, again, we’re pointing and laughing at birfers. Where’s Orly these days? Jail? Deported?

  14. 14

    We can laugh at this bozo: But had AZ gone Blue, there would have been some serious monkey business here.

    Meanwhile, the games the GOP are playing in states like PA, MI and WI to split up the votes in Blue states are a Big Fucking Deal, IMO.

    Keep in mind the proposal isn’t to award the electoral college votes proportionally w.r.t. popular vote, but rather by Congressional district.

    Very sneaky, that– it means that they’ll essentially be able to gerrymander Presidential elections like they did the House this past year. (In fact, it kind of smells unconstitutional to me since it implicitly gives the House too much power over the Executive… but Scalia, etc).

    Remember, kids, the word is ‘Fascists’.

  15. 15
    Brachiator says:

    Meanwhile, who could have predicted (via Yahoo News):

    Gun sales spike: Virginia, Colorado record highest background check volume in years
    __
    The talk of new gun control measures that has followed Friday’s mass shooting in a Newtown, Conn., elementary school has gun buyers rushing to the nearest store and picking up new weapons, according to gun store owners and state police background check information.
    __
    On Saturday, Virginia state police fielded 4,166 requests for background checks, a 42 percent increase from the same Saturday last year and the highest number of transactions received in a single day since the program was implemented in 1989. Sunday’s 1,828 background checks in Virginia represented a 43 percent increase from a year ago. Colorado also set a one-day record for background checks on Saturday with 4,200, the highest number since the program began in 1999.
    __
    Paul Decker, the owner of Hunters’ Heaven in Hayes, Va., said he saw a big spike in sales over the weekend, with many customers buying the AR type of rifle allegedly used in the Newtown shooting. Gun control advocates want AR and other semi-automatic rifles banned, returning to the Bill Clinton-era policy that was the law of the land from 1994 to 2004. Also flying off the shelves were high-capacity magazines and ammunition, over fears Congress could vote to limit them.
    __
    “The people that would normally buy a box [of ammo] are buying four or five boxes,” Decker said.

    Because, in America, there are always fools who need a bigger d#ck, bigger t#ts, and more guns.

  16. 16
    Tone in DC says:

    @👽 Martin:

    LULz.

    Right after we arm elementary school students.
    WOLVERINES!!!1!

  17. 17

    @Felinious Wench:

    No such luck. She is being hounded by a reporter to release her naturalization papers though.

    Her latest crusade is somehow trying to prove that Obama made the Sandy Hook shooter do it so he could take away everyone’s guns. She is trying to get her flying monkeys to harass the family.

  18. 18
    redshirt says:

    Man. I alternate between hope and abject depression, between hiding in my mountain redoubt and clamoring to man the barricades.

    These people are relentlessly dumb, evil, and… fuck. How do we change this?

  19. 19
    Phoenician in a time of Romans says:

    Has the Onion written a piece about Obama breaking down and screaming “I can’t take it any more – the Birthers are right! I was born in Kenya! Allah akbar!!”

  20. 20

    @Felinious Wench: Just for fun here is her latest screed:

    Millions of people ask the same questions. “Adam Lanza hard drive” is #2 trending news item on Yahoo news. Very conveniently the hard drive was destroyed. Police cannot get any info. who destroyed the hard drive? How do we know that Adam Lanza killed his mother and not another party? We need all of the phone records made public!!! We need all e-mails info made public! We need all his school records from Sandy Hook made public

  21. 21
    LanceThruster says:

    Well, to be perfectly frank…that chicken’s not going to fvck itself.

    Just sayin’.

  22. 22
    The Dangerman says:

    ODS; I hope Michelle runs in 2016 so we can see if their heads finally explode.

  23. 23
    Warren says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: Well, given that he didn’t attend Sandy Hook, that’ll be an issue…

  24. 24
    Violet says:

    I hope they keep doing this kind of stuff. Keep it up, white people in an increasingly brown state and country. Keep saying that non-whites need to prove they deserve to be here. Keep saying they don’t have the right documents, that their documents don’t look legitimate. Non-white people and sane white people can see exactly what people like this are doing. And they know those people belong to the Republican party. Keep it up, racist and idiotic white people. And lose, lose, lose when elections come around.

  25. 25
    Felinious Wench says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: She’s such a better troll than our latest crop. They’re amateurs. Orly is my favorite troll ever.

    Millions of people ask the same questions. “Adam Lanza hard drive” is #2 trending news item on Yahoo news.

    That’s because people want very much to know what’s on it because he didn’t leave a letter.

    Very conveniently the hard drive was destroyed.

    Almost like the shooter knew something about computers or had watched a movie once where someone did that.

    Police cannot get any info. who destroyed the hard drive?

    Adam Lanza.

    How do we know that Adam Lanza killed his mother and not another party?

    Sanity.

    We need all of the phone records made public!!!

    Phone records of what? He didn’t call people. He was basically a shut in with very little human contact.

    We need all e-mails info made public!

    “Because he e-mailed President Obama personally! It’s all there! Just read the e-mails! Do you not SEE? Are you not ENTERTAINED?”

    We need all his school records from Sandy Hook made public.

    He never attended school there.

    Best…troll…evah.

  26. 26
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    @Felinious Wench:

    Let me sum this up:

    I’m going to ask a bunch of questions that have no basis in reality, because Agenda 21/Black Helicopters/ZOG, that’s why!

  27. 27
    MattR says:

    @Warren:

    Well, given that he didn’t attend Sandy Hook, that’ll be an issue…

    How do we know that without making all those records public? And if they show what you claim, that just means that we need more records made public.
    /Orly (though thankfully I can’t truly duplicate her deranged mind)

  28. 28
    Scamp Dog says:

    @Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God: I don’t think you’d have to worry about Electoral College shenanigans here. The electors are chosen by the party that won the state, and I imagine the local Dems, whatever flaws they may have, wouldn’t select a birther for that job. I can imagine a few butt-hurt press conferences, though. Not that it would cause anything more than us pointing and laughing. Kind of like we are now.

  29. 29
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @LanceThruster: You don’t know that.

  30. 30
    J. Michael Neal says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    How do we know that Adam Lanza killed his mother and not another party?

    Actually, we know that he did kill another party. 27 of them. Grammar fail.

  31. 31
    hep kitty says:

    They’re republicans. They like their chickens dead.

  32. 32
    gnomedad says:

    The Murrow photo is awesome. I’m imagining his voice intoning this and laughing myself silly.

  33. 33
    catclub says:

    @beltane: I really hate the fact that the Grand Canyon is in that state. I am still boycotting.

  34. 34
    catclub says:

    @J. Michael Neal: The Donner Party was 47, not 27.

  35. 35
    Surreal American says:

    By now, the chicken is filing for a restraining order.

  36. 36
    cmorenc says:

    @Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God:

    Keep in mind the proposal isn’t to award the electoral college votes proportionally w.r.t. popular vote, but rather by Congressional district.

    IF this method was to be applied nationwide to ALL states, I would support the change. It would have the beneficial effect of nationalizing campaigns outside of the current handful of “swing states”. Even the one potential e.v. in Utah would be worth some attention by the democrats, and in the south, even South Carolina would have at least four and as many as six electoral votes within competitive reach. Likewise, the GOP would have a worthwhile chance for a significant percentage of New England’s electoral votes.

    However, to selectively apply it ONLY to blue states where the GOP momentarily controls the legislature is a travesty to democracy, particularly if done by congressional district.

  37. 37
    Patricia Kayden says:

    “These fools are just yelling at the sky at this point. They need to sit down and shut up. The election is over. Nobody has time for this birther crap anymore.”

    Actually, I disagree with you, ABL. Rethugs need to show how nasty and racist they are to remind Blacks that we have no reason to vote for them. They’ll never get my vote and there aren’t enough racist White men to vote for them and put them back in the White House.

    Our victory on November 6th is satisfaction enough. Let them rage on.

  38. 38
    gene108 says:

    @Brachiator:

    “The people that would normally buy a box [of ammo] are buying four or five boxes,” Decker said.

    I’m surprised there’s that much ammo left after November 6th.

    When Obama first got elected there was a serious ammo shortage in the USA. From what I’d heard, the wing-nuts were buying up ammo like it was 2008 all over again.

    I guess gun makers really upped their output to keep up with demand. The only explanation, as to why there’s any surplus ammo at all after November 6th.

  39. 39
    Thlayli says:

    I saw a variant of this yesterday, about John Kerry:

    Does this mean we finally get to see his COMPLETE military file? The one that includes his Dishonorable Discharge? The details of his negotiation with the NVA and VC in Paris?

    Cuz, y’know, Rumsfeld’s DoD was totes covering for Kerry in 2004 and keeping all that stuff on the DL.

  40. 40
    Rome Again says:

    And this changes NOTHING! Arizona was already going to cast their votes for Romney.

    What did this accomplish besides making them look insane to those who aren’t far right loonies?

  41. 41
    LanceThruster says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Can any of us really know anything?

  42. 42
    LanceThruster says:

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Can any of us really know anything?

  43. 43
    LanceThruster says:

    @LanceThruster:

    That is, other than FYWP.

  44. 44
    JasonF says:

    @Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God:

    We can laugh at this bozo: But had AZ gone Blue, there would have been some serious monkey business here.

    Had Arizona gone blue, an entirely different group of electors would be voting today. It’s not as if they pick people to be electors, then the electors vote for one of the two candidates depending on the outcome of the election. No — Romney had a slate of electors and Obama had a slate of electors, and since Romney won Arizona, Romney’s dumb-ass electors get 15 minutes in the sun to spout bullshit about birth certificates.

  45. 45

    @cmorenc:

    IF this method was to be applied nationwide to ALL states, I would support the change. It would have the beneficial effect of nationalizing campaigns outside of the current handful of “swing states”

    I still don’t like the votes being used to allocate on a per-district basis, because Congress can manipulate that through clever gerrymandering. Whoever draws those districts determines if a district goes red or blue for at least half a generation. Some future Tea-party style Congress would be able to game Presidential elections for years out, just by drawing lines around Democrats to make sure they are never more than 45% of that district.

    There is no scenario where I could see that as a desirable outcome.

    If I could design the system from scratch, I’d give the two Senate-derived EV’s from a state to whomever won the state as a whole (all or nothing), and then apportion the House-derived EVs using a percentage based on the overall popular vote of the state (ie not by district), using well-established rounding procedures.

    (I have no mathematical reason for any of this, it just sort of seems consistent based upon how the Congress is divided up).

  46. 46
    Jay says:

    Wonder what would’ve happened if Murrow had met Ernie “chicken” Anastos? Game that one out for us, ABL.

  47. 47
    Chris says:

    @Judas Escargot, Acerbic Prophet of the Mighty Potato God:

    Remember, kids, the word is ‘Fascists’.

    Oh, I remember. They make it rather hard to forget.

  48. 48
    pluege says:

    probably just as well they keep baying at the same old tripe because:

    a) who wants to here new tripe from the effin’ A-holes, and

    b) sooner or later they’ll come to the impeachment canard and although they should be tried for treason for intentionally thwarting the will of the people when they impeach obama, the corporate media will be in all their glory and even less will get done than otherwise in obama’s second term (although the way obama’s starting out cutting SS benefits, maybe just as well republicans emasculate the government for 4 years.)

  49. 49
    Calouste says:

    @Judas Escargot, Bringer of Loaves and Fish Sandwiches:

    It’s actually the state legislatures that do the gerrymandering, not Congress. Although some states, mostly blue ones, have an independent commission. Arizona had an independent redistricting commission until the head of the commission got fired by Brewer for being a bit too independent.

  50. 50

    @Calouste:
    You’re right, of course.

    But the GOP is a Parliamentary party. It was Tom Delay and later the Tea Partiers who got to draw those red districts, in practice.

  51. 51
    cmorenc says:

    @Judas Escargot, Bringer of Loaves and Fish Sandwiches: You’re right about the bad-ness of the by-congressional district proposal; I mis-read the original quote I was referring to, my bad. I was instead supporting the alternative whereby each state’s E.V.s would be divided proportionately to the popular vote within that state, rather than winner-take-all in each sate, although that would merely be a rough (though imperfect) proxy for a direct popular nationwide vote where there would still be the flaw of a small possibility for the loser of the nationwide popular vote to win the most electoral votes. I would even support a variant whereby the winner of the overall state popular vote got the two E.V.s corresponding to its senate seats and the rest (corresponding to congressional seats) got divided up according to %share of popular vote, although statewide and NOT by congressional district.

    The fact that the present Constitution left wide open an immense disparity between the states in how their electoral votes would be determined is yet another indicia of deep flaws in its design beyond just ugly compromises over 3/5 person census increments for slaves in determining population for congressional representation, even though slaves lacked rights of citizenship, including voting. The maddeningly poor drafting of the second Amendment is yet another example.

  52. 52

    I don’t think they care that the chicken is dead. I swear, most of these wingnuts are sexual perverts of some kind; would it shock anybody if some of these guys are necrophiliacs?

  53. 53
    MaxxLange says:

    Probably the hard drive revealed Lanza’s connection with the Behnghazi cover-up. That must be why it was destroyed!

  54. 54
    karen says:

    @Warren:

    Actually Lanza did attend Sandy Hook. according to USA today.

  55. 55
    karen says:

    @Calouste:

    Isn’t Brewer planning to serve a third term even though it’s against the Arizona Constitution?

  56. 56
    karen says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Orly is also suing Joe Biden and the State of California because they allowed Obama on the ballot.

  57. 57
  58. 58
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I’m going to ask a bunch of questions that have no basis in reality, because Agenda 21/Black Helicopters/ZOG, that’s why!

    You forgot Shut Up! But otherwise not a bad list of reasons.

  59. 59
    Phoenician in a time of Romans says:

    @Zapruder F. Mashtots, D.D.S.:

    I don’t think they care that the chicken is dead.

    Well, yeah – they need the eggs.

    I think they keep fucking it in the hopes that eventually one will hatch, and they’ll have a brand new Chicken-American Birther willing to stand up, cluck nonsense, and spread shit over everything in sight.

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