If you want an indication of how low Sarah Palin’s fortunes have sunk, the first time I’ve seen anything written about her in a long time is the news that her son Track is divorcing his wife who he shotgun married when she was 6 months pregnant with his child. Bristol was on Dancing with the Stars this year, but Sarah no longer has the juice to make her rapidly-dwindling fanbase call in thousands of times, so America’s most famous single mom was voted off early in the festivities. Sarah’s reality show didn’t get picked up for another season, her buscapade is over, and even though she’s still working for Fox News, nobody’s paying attention. She’s the one-hit wonder of Republican politics.
It didn’t have to be this way. One of our trolls likes to point out that I predicted that Palin would run for President. I only remember praying for Huckabee, but no matter. If anything is clear from Palin’s fall to obscurity, it’s that she would have been better off if she had made a run. Look at Newt and Santorum. When the Republican race started, they were both minor lights compared to Palin. Neither is much better as a debater than Sarah would have been, had she been willing to take some coaching and do some work. Yet both of them have increased their stock within the wingnut branch of the party immeasurably, while Sarah’s left wishing and hoping that Roger Ailes doesn’t cancel her contract.
Sarah’s problem is that she thought she could become a real celebrity instead of a political one. The reality show, Bristol’s two left feet on DWTS, the books and attendant bus tour pilgrimages to America’s finest strip malls, not to mention using Facebook as her main mode of communication, are all symptoms of the same disease. She wanted to go Hollywood, or at least Burbank.
But try as she might, she can’t dodge the fact that her politics take all the fun out of a D-list career that could have rivaled the Kardashians. What’s interesting about the Palin clan is the fucking and fighting. But it doesn’t matter that she’s somewhat-hot and that her family is reality show trashy if her main message is buzz kills like abstinence and hating the gays. Staying married to Todd is also a liability, because the only reality show she could sell in her current state is “Sarah Palin, Single and Dating”.
Sarah’s past her sell-by date as a celebrity, and with the decline of the Tea Party, as a politician. After Ailes drops her contract, she’ll be running some kind of multilevel marketing scam or making infomercials with Ron Popeil, if she’s lucky.